Yue Lao (2021) - full transcript

Ah-Lun, who has a choice to make in the underworld, decides to be a god of love in Chinese mythology. As he advances with his tasks on Earth, his biggest challenge is to tie a red string with the woman he loved the most.

Watch out...

Out of the way!

-Go.
-Block him.

Out of the way! Don't let him through!

Keep your eyes on him.

Out of the way!

Zhong.

Give me the ball!

Zhong!

He pushed me!

-You'll be darned.
-How could you?



I didn't nudge anyone.

-I didn't.
-You nudged him.

-It's raining.
-Rain!

-Go and grab our stuff.
-Let's grab our stuff.

Closed this afternoon

-It's pouring down.
-Why is it raining so much?

Alan is a brat.

He nudged me.

You nudged him!

That was out of line.

-He pushed us.
-He picks on older people.

What a fool.

What a brat!

You are dead.



What?

Till We Meet Again

Give me your hand.

Your hand.

Your hand.

Put it on the disk.

Eternal Code, 9895762369776955.

Forehead.

It's not working.

What are these beads for?

He's not ready.

His brain was struck by lightning.

I can't scan the memory of his past lives.

Push it to the warehouse
by yourself later.

Eternal Code Scanner Error
Handling Guidelines

What's this?

Your previous lives.

I was a cactus,

a fish...

and a cicada?

Everybody reincarnates

into all kinds of beings.

What on earth should I do?

Records of Past Lives

How is it even possible?

No way! I want to apply for resurrection.

Calm down. Every life comes to an end.

Yours just came earlier.

Nonsense! Go to hell!

We're already here. We are all dead!

-Calm down!
-What the hell?

Calm down!

Look at the cover of your life review.

-How beautiful!
-I don't want a life review.

-Jesus was resurrected. Why can't I?
-Calm down.

Is that common?

It happens every day.

But this one is more agitated for sure.

Don't mess things up!

Choose one to be the cover
of your life review.

Life record, Video file

There are too many folds.

It's the same spot.

The blood test shows some improvement,

but the tumor size remains the same.

The tumor is located in the duodenum.

It can be very tricky.

Surgery will take longer

and she might not wake up.

How long will she be under anesthesia?

What are the chances of her waking up?

Chances...

Miss.

Chances are uncontrollable.

Kurumi is around 15 years old.

Dying is probably normal.

You should just take it easy.

Am I wrong to want her to live longer?

No.

You're not wrong.

Sign here.

I saw it.

My data is incomplete.

And I don't remember a thing.

Focus, okay?

You're already dead.

Leave your past behind, all right?

This is only a routine filing.

-The thing that matters is...
-No.

-What matters is...
-I'm not doing it.

What matters is your reincarnation!

Watch this clip.

Congratulations to everyone
who just croaked.

After countless reforms,

we abolished knife mountains,

boiling pots, eye-gouging,

or tongue-pulling.

So what's the world like after you die?

Endless dark seas?

The big vessels of the afterlife

always aim to sail for the legendary

Great Beyond!

Heaven, paradise,

the pure land, and gods' land!

No one has ever made it there
in the history of the afterlife.

Bummer!

But calm down!

We figured out a way to return to Earth.

Reincarnation.

Please check the beads on your wrist.

They represent
your past life’s performance.

The white ones are your credit

and the black ones are your karma.

If the beads are all black,

you'll be totally gone after death.

No one knows where you go.

How scary!

For those with black and white beads,

if you decide to reincarnate right away,

you might become chickens,
ducks, fish, pigs,

roaches, ants, lice, or mosquitoes.

There are not enough gods
to cope with the growing population!

The underworld needs
good spirits to share the workload.

We welcome you
to apply for our various deity posts,

contribute to the world,

and wash away your sins.

So your next life
will win at the starting point!

What the hell are you looking at?

It won't kill you.

Yes, that's right!

I'm dead and you're dead, ugly!

Take a look at yourself.

I'm cute. What are you talking about?

You look funny and you smell funny.

Why do you smell like gas?

Did you fart?

Fart, your foot!

You stink yourself!

Stinky and burned, you charcoal!

Look here, a hole.

A hole here and there!

You are a total bastard!

What's up, Pink Panther?

Have you decided?

Which option works best for you?

I'm sure you know it by now.

There was a...

Cockroach

Snail

Do you want to be reincarnated as a snail

or work for your merits?

Isn't she a schoolteacher?

How can she teach in her condition?

I'm having her help me here.

She has been like this recently.

Absentminded.

Do you want me to hook her up?

It hasn't been a year.

You'd better not push it.

I mean, perform a healing ritual on her.

Alan Shi.

Don't forget your promise.

Why do you have so many white beads?

But I was a nice person.

I stopped at the red lights.

And I recycled.

Did I recycle styrofoam?

Don't tell me you still use straws.

Straws kill sea turtles.

You're not that ugly after all.

I was next door.

You chose the god of love too?

You were such a bad person.

You only have five white beads.

You only win me by one.

One makes all the difference.

No, you see.

I was struck dead by lightning.

I'm damaged here,

here, and here.

I can't recall a thing.

The machine couldn't scan my record.

If it could scan me,

I bet I would have
at least ten more white beads.

Struck by lightning.

I feel bad for you.

Sea turtle killer.

Hi, potential new colleagues.

Welcome to the big family
of the gods of love.

Anyone who has common sense would know.

This red string ties people
together in romance.

Making couples helps you
accumulate your merits.

When love turns sour, the beads of karma

will prevent you from reincarnation
despite your hard work.

It needs two gods of love
to tie a red string.

Just like couples in a relationship.

So during the training period,

you have to find a partner

to pass the final test together.

Then the training is officially over.

If you fail, it's mandatory
for you to be reincarnated.

-Reincarnate?
-What for?

-Why should we be reincarnated?
-I don't want to.

Hi there.

You're great. Can I team up with you?

Of course.

If it's wrong to love you,
I don't want to be right.

The best part of a romance
is the uncertainty of it.

Gods of Love Training Field: Phase Two

Hey, you suck!

"Hey, you suck!"

What's so funny?

Sea turtle killer.

If you fail, you'll turn into a roach.

A roach!

Gross! A roach!

Shut up, you rotten bastard!

Do you know why
you were struck by lightning?

It’s a punishment for having a tiny junk!

-You roach!
-You stupid bastard!

You're a roach in the sewer.

-Do you know how to...
-You stink!

Do you know how to crow? Crow!

Drink it all

and forget it all.

Big breast lover or cilantro hater.

Mengpo Soup

-Forget it all.
-See you in Mom's tummy.

-Bye.
-Bye!

-Bye...
-Bye...

I have a question.

How did the first red string come about?

Well...

It was made by the Weaver Girl.

It's only a legend.

Yes, a Chinese folklore.

It is said that

the Weaver Girl and the Cowherd
can only meet one day a year.

But one day was not enough for her,

so she cried and cried.

What's wrong with the Cowherd?

Letting a lady wail like that?

Such a loser.

He couldn't help it.

She wept and wept.

In the end,
she turned into a ball of red string.

You can say it's a way

of making a wish.

She sacrificed herself
for all lovers' happiness.

How noble.

Any other questions?

-Get Ghost Head back!
-Get Ghost Head back!

-Get him back!
-Get him back!

How horrible.

He pulverized his roommates.

Juicy...

Juicy...

Without the beads,

how did he come up?

Move.

This isn't what you taught me.

Sir.

It's time for your reincarnation.

Malicious ghost

Do you want vengeance?

Reluctant to be reincarnated?

He has done you wrong.

Forget about your credit and position.

They are meaningless.

I will

offer you

a chance like no other.

Think of it as a debt
you owed me in your last life.

I'll burn your favorite things
as gifts for you.

All beautiful things in pink.

Sleep tight.

When you wake up,

you'll be in a good family.

Amitābha.

Amitābha. Farewell.

Amitābha.

Hey!

Don't be a malicious ghost!

You'll be as ugly as her!

"To become
a malicious ghost for vengeance,

exhaust your credit without limits.

No reincarnations forever.

No good will come out of revenge.

Before you do it,
please disregard this disclaimer."

The fonts are so small. It's such a scam.

Is the test really that stressful?

I'm bad at it as well.

It's very likely
that I'll be reincarnated.

Besides, being a roach
can't be that bad for you.

It's only a well.

Yet it took a lot of work on your part.

Hand it over.

I want my things hidden in you.

I don't know about it.

Bon voyage.

Hurry up.

You always take forever.

Fine! You're so annoying.

Five hundred years...

You've forgotten.

But I haven't!

What's your name?

Mi Hung.

Back off.

Exhale!

I believe you have all paired up.

Before the hourglass is done,

cast the circles
onto the naughty ghost's fingers together

to complete the task.

Those who fail

will be reincarnated right away.

Hello!

Hi there.

Hi, friend.

Hello.

-Hi, I...
-No, thank you.

-Hi, I think we...
-No, thank you.

Sweetie pie, do you feel like...

Beg me.

Why don't you beg me?

I beg you to hurry.

Snail.

That's not cute.

Roach.

Being a roach is my lifelong dream.

I can fly and climb high.

How awesome.

Pretending to be a strong woman

is also quite cute.

How so?

Now you are just bitter.

I don't think these two will make it.

Commence.

We should...

Wait...

Wait... No...

I don't have time.

Where has it gone to?

Why has it vanished?

You've got to have sparks for each other
to pair other people up!

You're already ghosts.
No need to use your eyes!

Open your mind!

-Sparks! Show me some sparks!
-Mind!

Mind!

-Sparks...
-Sparks...

Use your minds!

-Sparks!
-Sparks!

-Sparks!
-Sparks!

How's this? Do you feel anything for me?

No.

Look at me.

How about this?

Pheromones.

My god!

Come on.

Feel it? My breasts.

-Look here.
-Where?

Here!

Nothing!

What?

Hi.

I'm Pinky.

Pinky Peppermint has three flavors

-Have some Pinky in the car
-Have some Pinky in the car

-Have some Pinky when you're bored!
-Have some Pinky when you're bored!

Pinky.

I'm...

I'm going to call you Charcoal.

So dark.

I'm done!

Why are you laughing?

-You look down on me.
-Some character!

It has been a week!

Your excuse is lame.

If you feel embarrassed,

let's break up then!

You're so slow!

Sh**.

Who would do this kind of thing?

Sir, don't you know how to dump trash?

What have I done to deserve these today?

Are you serious?

Do you know what it means?

Sorry.

What?

It does light up!

It does light up!

Amazing!

I'm cold.

I'm cold.

You go ahead first.

We brothers will follow suit.

How long have we been bandits?

It has been 23 years.

We've killed more than a thousand.

That's right! More than a thousand!

We've been under siege
by the darn official for months!

And he killed dozens of us!

He didn't wrong us!

On the day we became sworn brothers,

all 37 of us took an oath.

We wished to die on the same day.

After this drink,

we will charge forward

and die with those darn officials!

Let's go together.

Be brothers in the next life.

-Let's go together.
-Let's go together.

-Be brothers in the next life.
-Be brothers in the next life.

Let's go together.
Be brothers in the next life.

-Let's go together.
-Let's go together.

-Be brothers in the next life.
-Be brothers in the next life.

Kid, where is your mom?

Watch your hand.

Let's go together...

Second In Command.

For the past 500 years,

you've been reincarnated 13 times.

You've forgotten it all.

But I haven't.

Asian Games

Darn! Three pins again.

Are you praying for the dead? Amitābha.

-You're really something.
-I did it on purpose.

What do you have left? Just lose already.

Take it for your circumcision!

I have to say.

What a coincidence!

After she borrowed
from the loan shark for you,

she dropped dead.

A girlfriend that dies so easily?

I want one too.

Her death

broke my heart to pieces, okay?

Nonsense.

Right.

All right, drop the long face.

Let's drink.

I'm serious.

A bastard like him

will get all black beads for sure.

He'll vanish after he dies.

Don't bother yourself.

Murderer,

bastard, scumbag, douchebag.

Charcoal!

Let's find a slut with STD and AIDS,

just for him.

Okay.

Go ahead and tie him then.

On his wiener, okay?

Leave the rest to me.

You've been upset all night.

That prick, Chang Po-wei.

-Chang Po-wei?
-You know how much he owes me?

He owes me 300.

Does he think I'm loaded?

He's playing you. We should do something.

Right.

Listen to me, Tommy.

Go to the temple,
pray to the gods, and you'll be fine.

Okay, midnight snacks are on me.

Where's the car?

How would I know?

What are you doing?

Is he your friend?

No.

What the hell?

Tommy?

Don't!

Don't lay your hands on him!

Stop.

He's screwing my scooter.

He's not screwing your girlfriend.

Tommy, the exhaust is catching fire.

Pull it out already!

-What on earth!
-Pull it out!

Charcoal.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Really...

Thank you so much.

You're super welcome.

It's coming!

Not that kind of coming!

Here we are.

I already asked the Earth God.

Kaicheng is the best school here.

I must have been a straight-A student!

I really doubt that.

Any flashbacks?

Do you feel it? I feel it!

Life review!

Recall this?

Did you take this cab?

Was this your dad's car?

Get into your memories.

Flashback!

Flashback!

This place!
You had noodles here, growing up.

You used to shoplift here.

This man

watched you grow up.

She's your mom!

Nonsense!

Actually, I kind of envy you.

You don't remember a thing.

What's good about it?

When I was alive,

every day, there were guys

taking me out to joyrides and clubbing.

But everyone was phony.

No one meant it.

You died too young.

Otherwise, good things

would've happened to you.

And you would've met good people.

Not necessarily.

Actually, there's no rush
to be reincarnated.

Maybe...

Come out and play together.

You didn't shower, you stink!

-You're scared? Coward.
-Come out!

Let it go!

Who is he?

-Do you know?
-I have no idea.

One.

Two.

Three.

Bust your butt!

Poke it!

Your butt is busted. Yes!

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Kurumi.

I'm sorry.

Kurumi!

Kurumi.

Where have you been, Kurumi?

You got me so worried.

Kurumi!

Attention, please!

Let's give a warm welcome
to your new classmate!

Hi, everyone, I'm Mi Hung.

When I was in Minsheng Elementary School,

they used to call me Mi.

I was a two-time discipline leader,

but I hate to report classmates
to teachers.

Even though I had never been
a class secretary...

Mi!

I think I am in love with you!

Will you marry me?

I want to marry Justin Bieber!

Marry me if I clean the eraser for you.

No!

Marry me if I wash the mop for you.

No!

Marry me if I take out the trash for you.

No.

Marry me if I cheat for you.

You don't even know the answers.

Marry me if you fake my dad's signature.

Why do I still have to marry you

when I helped you with the signature?

No matter what you do,

I'll always want to marry you.

No.

Mr. Shi

Alan Shi.

Why do you always talk like that?

We're just kids.

Even if I say yes now,

I might still fall for someone else
in the future.

Even if your yes
lasts for only one second,

I'll still be
the happiest person in the world.

One second is not enough.

It is for me.

Anyway, stop this nonsense.

I'll answer you when we're grown up.

When will we grow up?

When you start to realize

that no matter what,

everything changes.

Some things

will last for 10,000 years!

Here you go.

-It'll be 35.
-Thank you.

Thank you.

Kurumi!

Why are you here?

Mi!

This is destiny.

Alan Shi.

Your grades were terrible.

How did you get into Kaicheng?

I got in as an athlete.

Please, I'm a basketball star.

Stop following me.

And don't say
those ridiculous things again.

Look at her.

She didn't dare to chat with me
and took off.

Why?

She's afraid she can't resist my charm.

Alan Shi!

I am now married to Chris Evans.

That's Chris Pine's hair!

How could you run away like that?

How could you run away like that?

That's very naughty, you know?

If I lose you, I'll have nothing else.

Don't take off again!

Okay?

Kurumi, look at me.

Give me the ball!

Zhong!

You nudged him!

-That's low!
-You hit him!

Kurumi thinks you're low too!

You bastard! You cheated!

-It's raining!
-Rain!

-Go and grab our stuff.
-Let's grab our stuff.

Let's go, Kurumi!

Come on, Kurumi.

It's raining!

It's really pouring.

You nudged him!

-He nudged me.
-You nudged him.

You pushed us.

You are going to ruin it!

Don't marry him.

-Don't marry him.
-Don't say yes.

-You are too good for him. Say no!
-Don't say yes.

It's none of your business.

-Don't say yes!
-No!

No?

Kurumi, you don't think
I should say yes either, do you?

Some things

will last for 10,000 years.

Will you marry me?

Alan, run!

-The fire is coming!
-Run!

Alan, don't get burned. Run!

-Alan! Run!
-Run!

-Alan, run!
-Alan!

-Run!
-Alan! Run!

Thank goodness.

Here you are.

It's all right now.

Come.

Let's go home.

Let's go home.

Let's go.

We used to do

our homework together here.

Why is it always the girl

who aces school in this kind of story?

Don't be so stubborn.

Just memorize the formula as I told you.

In an exam, if you solve it step by step,

there won't be enough time.

After she graduated from high school,

she went to college in Taipei.

She was supposed to be a math teacher.

After that,

were you guys officially a couple?

So...

If you're interested
in taking that marketing course,

you have to make sure

that you won't be late for class.

Or you'll suffer the consequences.

Don't get the reference books yet.

You can have mine.

Really?

So I can read your notes?

And see your highlighted points?

Right?

My handwriting is clear...

What is this, Alan?

It's big and delicious.

This can't give us all the nutrients.

Right.

We are not eating this crap.

Is he upset?

How dare he?

This is on me. My treat.

As a thank you.

To thank me?

Thank you for taking care
of my future wife.

Thank you.

Stop this nonsense, Alan.

-You're going to marry him?
-I'm not.

Do you want to marry her?

It's too early to say.

See?

You're not marrying her, but I am.

I've been asking her to marry me
since fifth grade.

Zip it now or I'm going to leave.

Okay!

Don't go.

I'll have nothing to say to him.
It'll be awkward.

Of course I'll take him with me,
you moron.

Okay.

So where are you going next?

I...

I heard the motels nearby

are all haunted.

Because people who went there said

ghosts were pushing their butts.

Push!

Push...

Alan Shi!

Would you please stop embarrassing me?

You're so childish!

Pushing...

Alan Shi!

Kurumi seems to be in good spirits today.

Seems like it.

Here, Kurumi.

Dad, you forgot the bathroom light again.

What are you doing?

I didn't want to come.

Look at this mess. It's on you.

-Do you know how to see a ghost?
-I don't want to know.

Ghosts...

I said I'm not interested!

When you deliberately look for them,

they will never show up.

But when you least expect it...

What are you doing? Are you crazy?

Go to hell!

Darn you!

Ridiculous! Childish!

Be with me.

Let's be together.

No.

We've known each other forever.
It feels weird.

The other day, my dad said

a tough girl like me

will have a hard time finding a husband.

When you turn 30,

if no one wants you,

marry me.

No.

When you are 31 then.

If no one wants you,

let me marry you.

No.

How about 32?

No.

Thirty-three?

No.

Thirty-four?

No.

How about 35?

No!

When you turn 60 and no one wants you,

let's get married!

No!

How about 100?

If you are still single, marry me then!

I'll be really old at 100!

Me too!

How is it possible
that I'm not married by then?

Because I haven't married you!

Hey! What are you fighting about?

People are trying to sleep!

-Get a room!
-Get a room!

Alan Shi.

So are you

good at fighting?

Don't be so selfish.

What if they hurt Kurumi as well?

Don't move! Your nose is bleeding.

I'm so mad at you.

What are you doing? Stop being childish.

You're not a three-year-old.

Let's be together?

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Hey.

You want me to buy lunch again?

Okay.

I said okay!

Let's go then.

Never mind.

Stop it.

It's embarrassing.

Wait.

Your hands stink!

What are you doing?

You're closing early today.

My dad is visiting my mom's grave.

Your cast is off?

I'm healed!

Let's play one-on-one.

-Do you dare?
-Do you dare?

-Of course I dare!
-Next time!

I'm not intimidated!

Let's set a date!

-Don't forget.
-Let's see if you dare.

Next time then.

-Bye.
-Bye.

You can't intimidate me.

-You can't intimidate me either. Bye.
-Bye!

I'm sorry.

If I had known that I would drop dead,

I wouldn't have asked you to date me.

Or at least

I wouldn't have persisted.

Now that you've finally accepted me...

Do you know what I do now?

I'm a god of love.

Be it a guy and a girl,

two guys and two girls,

or even an exhaust pipe,

all I have to do is tie the red strings

and they'll fall in love.

Amazing, right?

He has been in there for so long.

Go and check what they are on about.

What is taking them so long?

Hear me out.

Don't you think...

Good girl.

But don't you think

I'm cute too?

Why won't he look at me?

Now I know why I couldn't win you over.

Because nobody tied any red strings on us.

They didn't do their jobs.

Kurumi.

Come in here, Kurumi!

Try a cosmetic surgeon.

-One good at boob jobs.
-One good at nose jobs.

-Lip jobs.
-Chin jobs.

-Botox.
-Fillers.

-Thermage.
-Jawbone jobs.

Discounts?

No.

-It's all free!
-It's all free!

A basketball player
with arm length at 22 m.

His stamina

is at the peak of his life.

You can't compete with it!

Owner of a 40-year-old breakfast place.

A sesame flatbread with warm soy milk.

You can't beat it.

Booked a whole theater for Twelve Nights.

Chris Evans.

Why don't you choose one?

They all sound legit.

Who...

should...

Mi...

go...

out...

with?

Please tell me!

-You?
-Yes!

He's a great choice! Listen...

-The 40 years establishment...
-Wait...

She'll never starve!

Are you sure their food is good?

I ate it before.
I'm still holding it. See?

Listen, you have to...

Wait, no!

Can he stand cold weather?

He has to.

Mi wants to see the auroras,
so he has to stand the cold.

What are you worried about?

You can't joke about love!

Charcoal.

Listen, let me...

I've been dead for 50 years
and I've never seen it broken.

Maybe the sesame guy just dropped dead.

Once you tie the red strings,
their fate begins.

Before romance comes to fruition,

you can't die even if you want to.

That's the second law of gods of love.

By the way,

I'm not sure if he's gay.

Goodness.

Nine out of ten good men are gay.

The first law of gods of love,

"Love goes beyond gender and sexuality."

Try this size!

-Chris Evans!
-Chris Evans!

It's burning!

-What's going on?
-What?

What do we do now?

Wait!

Beware of lightning

Human rights lawyer, Lu Chiu-yuan.

The longest feet from NBA!

They can't tie it! All of them burned off.

That's insane. She's destined to be a nun.

Three hundred strings!

A magician to make her laugh every day!

Ashin from Mayday.

It's 3,500 strings.

Personally, I contributed 11 of them.

I contributed 33.

You know.

Everyone misses you.

We're now competing
who misses you the most.

But I'll let you in on a secret.

The person

who misses you the most

is me, of course.

They plan to tie 100 strings

in one go.

-Hundred!
-Hundred!

Thank you, everyone!

Come back earlier next time.

Thank you.

Have you seen this?

It's 8,000 strings! Darn!

It's unbelievable!

Wanted: Ghost Head

Jackpot.

It has been 500 years.

You're still a loser

in this life.

Why are you looking at me like that?

You reap what you sow.

I killed you because of karma.

You had it coming.

Poison.

Who did it?

Who did it?

The officials

agreed to exchange your head

for all of our lives.

It was you!

I'm sorry,

Boss!

Don't blame us.

Go on the journey.

Thank you for sacrificing yourself.

Isn't it strange? It's insane.

No matter how many strings

they tied to the girl,

they got burned off right away.

Now, these kids

are playing it like a competition.

Yama.

Something is wrong.

Fine!

I risked my life and found out about it.

There's a god of love who, out of blue,

tied a red string

on the exhaust of a scooter.

And the exhaust made these sounds.

Yama...

Ghost Head.

What? Am I not allowed?

I know that guy better than you do.

The second victim of his

was a woman.

Her soul shattered into pieces.

Such resentment?

May I have a table by the window, please?

Window. Windows.

Would you please show me
where the restroom is?

Room!

-Room?
-Over there?

-She must be talking about some room.
-Okay.

What's wrong with you?

Sorry, I like this one better.

-Have a nice day.
-I'm sure I know this one.

Happy... What?

What birthday?

Happy... A happy day?

What?

What's going on?

What's wrong?

Everyone.

You took this string?

Who's on the other end?

Let's cure her first.

That's a thick string.

Where did she get that?

Isn’t it from the original loom?

What are you doing?

You want Mi to be happy, right?
I'll help you.

For real? It’s impossible.

Where is it from?

The Weaver Girl.

This is directly from the Weaver Girl!

That's the string!

That's enough.

Are you kidding?

No more.

Enough!

She has been like this recently.

Absentminded.

Do you want me to hook her up?

You'd better not push it.

I mean, to perform a healing ritual.

Back off.

Exhale.

Exhale.

This is not your destiny.

Don't say anything even when you see it.

Not a word.

Kurumi!

Kurumi.

Thank goodness.

Here you are.

Let's go home.

Let's go.

Who was that girl?

I'm sorry.

If I had known that I would drop dead,

I wouldn't have asked you to date me.

Can he stand cold weather?

He has to.

Mi wants to see the auroras,
so he has to stand the cold.

All air conditioners
have a heating function now.

-What are you worried about?
-You can't joke about love!

Thank you, everyone!

Come back earlier next time.

Thank you.

Come here.

Thank you!

See you next time.

-Bring more people over.
-Get out of my face.

Why can't I be with you?

You've been...

able to see me?

I've been able to see you

and hear you.

Why do you want me
to fall for another guy?

I really want to talk to you,

hold you,

and kiss you.

But I'm afraid my psychic gift
would be taken away,

then I'll never see you again.

Darn.

Darn.

Darn.

Da...

Kurumi...

Kurumi is sick.

I know.

I know everything.

Let's never part again, all right?

We'll never part again.

By the way,

did I tell you that

Ox Head and Horse Face are real?

And Ox Head

is a lady.

-So cool. I bet you didn't know.
-A woman?

And there's a ton of...

-Don't scare me!
-Super cool!

Awesome, right? A woman!

How about the Horse Face?

Does he have a long face

and look exactly like a horse?

By the way, did you get
the paper cars I burnt for you

and the other things?

They were really devastated that day.

Seriously?

Seriously.

Guess who cried the most?

Fu!

Wrong!

-Nonsense!
-Surprise!

-You're joking!
-I'm serious!

Ji?

All right.

After you die,
I'll take care of you down there.

But don't die too soon.

Take care of Mi for a few more years.

A few more years? They are not that old.

Don't curse them.

Alan Shi!

Go away!

You're so annoying.

Alan Shi!

You'll get hemorrhoids.

Gross! What are you doing?

You walk without a sound! Are you a ghost?

You'll break the fridge.

Alan Shi!

Alan Shi!

She's broken indeed.

I don't want it.

Did your family burn anything for you?

None of your business.

Why are you so quiet?

When will you stop doing this?

Mi is supposed to miss you every day, yes.

But she needs to have
a relationship with a living guy,

get married, start a family,

and go about her life.

You saw it too.

No one could tie the red strings.

There were 10,000 of them!

All burned off.

That's because you are always around.

I know what you are thinking.

What am I thinking?

You're afraid that when Mi dies,

I'd team up with her instead.

Yes.

I'm sure after she dies,
you'd team up with her.

Then you'll ask me to be reincarnated.

It's okay, I'm fine!

It's all good!

But the point is, she's still alive,

so you're mine.

I mean, my partner!

What a jerk.

I haven't seen your partner lately.

She's upset with me.

You really can't tell?

Can't you see that she likes you?

Well...

I am a ladies' man.

I think she is in love with you.

Mi?

Hi.

How's Kurumi?

She's better. Thank you.

Last week
at the elementary school reunion,

-everyone was asking about you.
-It has been a while.

I couldn't make it.

Do you know, in 1907,

a doctor from Massachusetts,

MacDougall,

experimented on six dying patients?

Now I'm dead, you can flirt around?

When people die,

their weight will drop...

Be quiet.

I'll hit on whoever I want to.

The weight would drop down
to 10 to 21 g in an instant.

What I'm trying to say is,

it has been a while since the incident.

Don't be too sad.

Even though Alan is gone,

at least he still has 21 g left.

Or he must be

chanting in paradise right now.

Stop it. He's trying to be nice.

When I was a kid,
I also had an imaginary friend.

But it stopped when I went to college.

Really?

It was rather late, wasn't it?

Mainly because he was a math genius.

He always helped me with the answers.

Just kidding.

I am a math genius.

I never had to cheat.

Sweetheart.

Have you heard of some weird news?

What happened to the girl

who kept rejecting the red strings?

Can you save the gossip?

We're in a hurry here.

In a hurry for what?

Reincarnation?

An immortal jellyfish
is better than a lobster.

Its cells can be renewed indefinitely.

Basically, it won't die.

But if it encounters a sea turtle,

it will...

A friend of yours?

A friend of yours?

I don't know him.

Thank you for sacrificing yourself!

When life gives you lemons,

use them to make lemonade.

Alan!

Who are you?

Five hundred years ago,
you severed my head!

Remember it! Jog your memory!

Sir...

Are you...

Run!

Go, Mi!

Hurry!

Mi!

Don't stand here!

Go!

Hurry!

Alan Shi!

Mi!

Mi!

Run, Mi!

Come on!

Move!

Hey, calm down.

Respect the boundary

of two realms.

Alan Shi, god of love,

get your butt over here!

Sir!

There's a ghost here.

Boss.

Yama offered you a great opportunity.

Why can't you move on?

I've been an Ox Head for 500 years.

I've watched these bastards

being reincarnated

again and again in front of me.

When I decided to avenge myself,

they had forgotten everything.

I'm the only one

who can't forget.

Come back with me.

I'm tired of playing

the letting-go game.

I just got some freebies
from the ritual downstairs.

Gods of love, Alan Shi and Pinky Huang,

violated the laws of red strings

and abused underworld power
on the mortal, Tommy Tang.

The mortal, Mi Hung,
used mediumship without permission.

Pinky Huang, burglary of
the original red string from Weaver Girl.

Times are different now.

I can't believe
people still think it's a violation.

It's just a disease
that she can see ghosts.

Since it's a disease,

we should try to cure her.

Romances between the two realms
are nothing.

-Love is what matters.
-Alan Shi and Mi Hung

overstepped the boundary of two realms!

They should be condemned!

Verdict: Removal from Posts

Shut up!

Pinky.

I'm sorry.

My relationship with Mi

has cost you the job.

I seemed to be

too harsh on you.

I'm sorry.

Today is not my day.

I'm a bastard.

Yes, you are. A total bastard.

I'm a sweet girl, aren't I?

I already had a crappy life
when I was alive.

I can't believe I fell for a bastard
like you after I died.

Fine.

Actually, I think...

It's okay.

What's okay?

It's all good.

What do you mean?

I ratted on you and Mi.

I was so upset

and too devastated

yesterday.

I'm really sorry about this.

I said it's okay.

If you hadn't betrayed me,

Ox Head and Horse Face wouldn't have come.

Then that horrible ghost

might've really killed Mi.

You ratted at the perfect timing.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Is a villain like me

qualified to take up
such a responsibility?

I'm a villain.

Am I really capable?

Breaking news.

According to police investigations,

the murder suspect yesterday

is the same person who committed murder

last month at Shengli Fruit Shop.

The two cases have left
quite a few unanswered questions.

The cause of death of the suspect

will be revealed by tomorrow noon
after the autopsy.

Now, the international news...

Alan Shi.

Don't you love to tease me?

Confess your love to me.

Say you adore me.

So that I can reject you.

Then I'd feel much better.

Why the hassle?

I could just pretend
that I didn't hear you.

That's sly.

Kurumi.

Kurumi.

Kurumi.

Are you leaving us?

Wait for Alan.

He hasn't said goodbye to you.

Thank you for keeping me company,

for keeping us company.

I've had a great time.

Don't be scared.

Alan said it's fun down there.

You will have a great time there.

When you arrive, go to him.

He'll take care of you.

And I'll take good care of myself,

so you don't have to worry.

It's all right.

I've always known

that you started all this.

Charcoal.

Charcoal, wait for me!

I treated you like my sister.

If you wanted my head,

you should've just said so.

Have you forgotten?

Of course you've forgotten everything.

You drank the Mengpo soup
in front of me a dozen times!

You've forgotten it all completely!

Kurumi, why did you die?

How did you die? Does Mi know?

Does Mi know that you're dead?

Why did you come to me?

How did you know which hole I'm in?

You're awesome.

You are awesome, even in death.

How did you find me?

Do you still remember me?

Kurumi, I'm

the pretty girl from last time.

Mi is in danger.

Ouija, Ouija.

May we know how you died?

It’s taboo to ask.

-Struck dead by lightning!
-Struck dead by lightning!

How about...

paying me back with a head?

Windy and rainy.

Such resentment.

This is not a good sign.

Not good at all.

You are too stubborn.

When was the last time

you looked at your own face?

After I was confined in the well,

you took over this job.

How many ghosts did you have to kill?

One thousand?

Ten thousand?

In the underworld,
has any ghost even looked at you?

I was the Ox Head for 500 years.

When you can't stand those looks anymore,

you'll be just like me.

Don't listen to him.

Respect the boundary of two realms.

You're pulling the old tricks again.

Can't we just fight here?

Mi!

Where did you go?

Kurumi...

I know.

I know everything.

Kurumi came to me.

She asked me to save you.

Charcoal.

The second law of gods of love.

The power of fate will protect you.

Don't worry.
The power of fate will protect you.

I'm sorry.

But we don't have our beads.

After I die,

we can be together, right?

Yes, we will be together.

We can be gods of love together.

Penance, letting go, and reincarnation?

They are all Yama's lies to ghosts!

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

The Great Beyond is right here!

The Great Beyond doesn't exist!

For 500 years,

the Great Beyond was right there!

I could see it, but I couldn't reach it!

I couldn't find peace on Earth
or in the underworld!

Reincarnations are just
endless sufferings!

The Great Beyond doesn't exist!

It doesn't exist!

We can't let him turn into a demon!

I'm sorry,

but we won't have the chance
to reincarnate.

Reincarnation?

It has never been on my mind!

Why?

Why?

Why?

I was a cactus, a fish,

and a cicada?

Thank you.

I was happy

during those seven days.

Thank you.

I was happy

for seven days.

Thank you.

I was happy for seven days.

Fellow bandits,

I'm sorry.

This cicada has been buried
for more than 10 years

and it only has seven days left to live.

Why don't you do me a favor

and rob someone else?

No killing today!

Let's drink!

Thank you!

I was happy for seven days.

Thank you!

I was happy

for seven days.

Thank you!

I was happy for seven days!

Thank you!

I was happy for seven days!

Thank you!

I was happy

for seven days!

Thank you!

I was happy

for seven days!

Thank you!

I was happy!

It was just a small favor.

It was just a small favor.

It was just a small favor.

On to the next life...

No more next life...

Let's be together.

Let's be together.

Let's be together?

Even if your yes
lasts for only one second,

I'll still be
the happiest person in the world.

One second is not enough.

One second

is more than enough.

Wait for me.

Wait for me. Please don't disappear on me!

Don't vanish yet!

Mi.

When I was alive...

Alan Shi.

Your grades were terrible.
How did you get into Kaicheng?

-We were happy.
-I'm warning you.

What are you doing? Are you crazy?

Go to hell!

Stop!

I'm grateful that

in death,

I could meet you again.

I still...

I still owe you one second.

Some things

will last for 10,000 years.

10,000 years is a promise

for me to keep,

not for you.

Don't be a snail

if you're looking to reincarnate so soon.

I'm almost there.

Let it lie down on its belly first,

so its lungs will expand.

Okay, I'll be right there.

What if no gods of love
help us in our next life?

I remember now.

I remember now.

I'll find you.

When you turn 60 and no one wants you,

let's get married!

I've been asking her to marry me
since fifth grade.

This is destiny.

Some things

will last for 10,000 years!

Mi!

I think I'm in love with you.

Will you marry me?

Yes, I will.

I've finally found you.

Okay.

Beware

Poop

Cactus

Cicada

Clam

Immortal jellyfish

Snail

Cockroach

Chameleon

Lobster

Bat

Python

Dove

Pig

Sea turtle

Penguin

Formosan black bear

Alpaca

Dolphin

Monkey

Dog

Human being

Cat

Merit chart for reincarnation

Are you sure?

I've never heard of it.

I'm sure.

Besides, look.

I even applied for a birthmark.

So who told you?

Are you sure about this?

Anyway,

when you recognize me,

tie a red string between me and Charcoal.

The minute you see me, okay?

Bye.

One, two, three.

Okay.

It has a crack here.

Is it sunburned?

Its shell looks all right.

Let's see.

But its head

is a bit infected.

Look.

By the way,
did you change my flight again?

At this rate, I'll never see the auroras.

Do you know that the auroras

are the solar wind blown
from the surface of the sun?

When it hits Earth,

the high energy
of the charged particles of the solar wind

will move towards the two poles...

What are you looking at?

Your snail is ugly.

Your pet is uglier.

You're uglier than your snail.

You're ugly, your chicken is ugly,

and your whole family is ugly.

My teacher said only ugly people

will say that other people are ugly.

Please.

You said I was ugly first.

Besides, the owner
of my usual breakfast place calls me

"handsome little boy."

You're not only ugly but also dumb.

My charm

will last for 10,000 years.