You're Never Too Young (1955) - full transcript

Wilbur is a young man whose dream is to become a great barber, but for now, he's working just as an assistant, at a hotel's barber shop. When one day he gets involved (by mistake) in some big robbery, he is forced to disguise himself as a 12 year old boy, so that he can get away from his persecutor.

This is Los Angeles.

Looks peaceful and quiet,
doesn't it?

But don't let it fool you.

A jewel robbery and a murder
are about to happen.

I'm Nancy Collins.

I'd like to confirm a return reservation to Twin Lakes, Oregon.

Right.

Call for Mr. Baldwin.
Paging Mr. Baldwin.

Call for Mr. Baldwin.

Paging Mr. Baldwin.

What is it?
A man's been killed upstairs.



Whoever did it got away with the Majuba diamond.

There's a killer loose
in the hotel.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.
I'm terribly sorry.

Oh, that's all right.
I just didn't, uh, see you.

No harm done. I hope.

Your train leaves from the Union Station at 7:30.

Hi.

Oh, Bob,
I was afraid I'd miss you.

Oh, not a chance.

How'd the business
discussions go?

Fine so far,
but it's taking a little longer than I figured.

I won't be able
to go back with you tonight.

Oh?
I'll take a late plane.



What's all the blue coats
doing around here?

Maybe there's been a murder.

Or a suicide. They probably
just gave someone his bill.

My train leaves at 7:30,

and I promised to pick up some things for Mrs.
Brendan,

so I better get started.

I'll see you at school
tomorrow?

Bright and early. Bye.

Pardon me.

Your uniform is ready.
I'll get it for you.

There we are, Mr. Miles.
Thank you.

May I help you, sir?

I'm just looking around,
thank you.

Help yourself.

Hello, Noonan.
Why, hello.

I'll bet the Lieutenant will be glad to see you.
Let's go.

Get off my back, Sergeant.
I'm not going anywhere.

Hey, hold it.
This is my coat.

It is?
It's mine.

I must have picked it up by mistake.
I'm sorry.

This is yours, sir.
Why, thank you.

All right, Sergeant.

Let's go see
the Lieutenant.

Thank you.

Okay.

Yeah, fits pretty good.
Will you send it to me?

My pleasure, Mr. Miles.
Just give me the address.

Twin Lakes, Oregon.
Twin Lakes, Oregon.

Mrs. Brendan's
School for Girls.

I beg your pardon?

I teach there.
Music, athletics.

Naturally.

Look, Lieutenant,
I don't know what you're talking about.

You killed a man
for nothing.

The Majuba diamond is hot enough to burn you to a crisp.

Why don't you take me in?
My attorney would like that.

He's clean.
I told you.

All right, Noonan,
that's all for now.

But don't leave the hotel
until I tell you to.

All right, O'Malley.

Think he did it?
Probably.

But if we pull him in now,
we'll never make him talk.

He must have slipped the diamond to an accomplice.

We'll find
Mr. Noonan's accomplice.

We'd better.

Francois will
take care of you, monsieur.

Sit right down, monsieur.
Oh, let me help you, sir.

Thank you.

The other arm.

Just make yourself comfortable, monsieur.

I'll be with you
in a moment.

Lovely weather
we are having, eh, monsieur?

And now, monsieur,
we commence.

Snip, snip, snip.

Wilbur!

Did I fool you?

You've made me ruin
a perfectly good wig!

I'll pay for a new wig.

You certainly will,
you fool.

Now get your broom
and go back to work.

But you promised me
I'd have my own chair.

Look at what this says,
"Wilbur Hoolick, Master Barber."

But you're not a master barber.
You're not even a barber yet!

You remember the arrangement
we made when I hire you?

I cut the hair,
you sweep the hair.

Yeah, well,
I know everything there is to know about hair.

I made all that up
out of leftovers.

Sweep! I'm going to lunch.

Shall I take care
of everything?

No, I beg of you.
Do not take care of everything.

It is the lunch hour.
Just quietly sweep out the boothz.

Booths.

Boothz!
Boothz.

Sweep!

It is lunchtime!

One day,
I shall be a master barber

like Francois.

But only I...

I shall be the great Wilbert.

The Captain's here.
He wants to talk to you.

I'd be delighted.

And you are next, monsieur.

Would you like the haircut,
the manicure, possibly pedicure?

As in the rinse, bubble bath?
What would you like, sir?

Can I have my choice,
Francois?

Oh, he went to lunch.

Oh, I don't care who takes care of me.
I'm in a hurry.

You do not care who takes care of you, monsieur.

Will it take long for a treatment and a manicure?

I should think not so long, sir.
Let's go.

I think we shall start
with the scalp treatment.

I don't think I have time
for a scalp treatment.

Oh, monsieur,
everyone has the same time.

We are now ready to begin.

Oh, I am sorry, sir.
Just let me give you a...

Just one... Oh, sir!

Just one moment, sir.
One moment, sir.

Could you please
just get the beard?

All right, get up.
I'm awfully sorry, sir.

I made the mistake.
I press this button.

Same mistake.

Pardon moi, monsieur.
I'm a wee bit nervous.

Just relax.

Now, monsieur, the egg.

Oh, pardon, monsieur.
Oh, I am so sorry.

I make the mistake.
I am sorry, sir.

Please forgive me.
I am... Oh, please...

I didn't come here
for breakfast!

Now, let's forget
the whole thing!

Forget it!
Just relax, sir. Here.

Forget it!
This button will make you relax.

No, it's all right.

Will you stop this?

How do you stop this?

Is good.
It make you relax.

Get me out of here!
Get me out!

Oh, pardon moi!
Oh, pardonnez-moi, monsieur.

Let me out.
Wait, I shall get the button.

Easy!

One moment.

Stop this thing.

Voila, we stop. Good, oui?

And now to get you down.

Just one moment.

One moment, monsieur.

Monsieur, one moment.

And now for the landing.

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Let me go! Let me go!

There we are, monsieur.
You are next. Shampoo?

You're a sick man.
That's it!

I've got the merchandise all right,
but I can't deliver it.

They're checking everyone
in and out of the hotel.

Well, what if
they find it on you?

Don't worry, they won't.

Wait a minute.

I think I just figured it out.

I'm sending a man around
to the apartment.

He'll give you
a scalp massage.

He'll have the merchandise
in his pocket.

I got it.
Bye.

Which pocket?

Hello?

Would you like to try it
one more time?

I should not like to try it
one more time.

I should not like to see your face one more time.

Allow me, sir.
Thank you.

Not at all.

Could you help me, monsieur?
It is lunchtime.

But my wife would like
a treatment at home.

Oh, the wife would like
a treatment.

Oh, monsieur!

Oh, but I cannot
leave the shop.

Oh, it'll be all right,
Francois.

I am not Francois.

Oh, I'll speak to him
personally.

Oh, well,
if you think it will be all right, monsieur.

I should like very much to give the wife the treatment.

Thank you very much.
I shall get the equipment.

I think I have everything.

I appreciate this.
It's the Sunland Arms, apartment 12B.

You'd better hurry.
There's no time to lose.

Her scalp must be in very bad shape.
It is.

Oh, uh, hello, I am Wilbert.

Your husband sent me here
to make the scalp happy.

Oh, come in.

It is not easy to come through
this little hole.

Oh, I'm sorry to have kept you out there in that cold hall, honey.

But, you know,
a nice girl can't be too careful.

Why don't you
take your coat off?

Oh, no, this is fine,
thank you.

All right, here is the coat.

I must find the place
to plug in the equipment.

Over there.
Oh, merci.

Well, I am now ready
to begin.

So am I.

You know something?
What?

You're cute.

Do you know something?

Whisper it in my ear.

The scalp is dry.

Come with me.
Where?

Come with me.

Do you dance?
Oh, but the treatment.

Try this.

Oh, that's wonderful.
Try it again.

Turn around.

But what about the treatment?

Oh, I know what great lovers
you Frenchmen are.

Kiss me.

Oh, that's good.

You!

What are you doing
with my wife?

Uh, massaging the scalp.

Oh, oh, pardon moi.
The jacket.

It's very warm here.

The jacket.

Merci beaucoup, mademoiselle.

I ought to
kill you for this.

If you lay one...

If you lay un hand on me,
you know what I will do?

What?

I'll bleed. Au revoir.

If I ever see your ugly face again,
I'll kill you.

I want you to get out of town and stay out.

Yeah, all right, but I can't
leave from up here.

Is there anything else?

Now, if you come back
to this town,

I'll know it.

And I'll get you.

Understand?

Oh, yes, sir.

Oh, I won't come back
to this town, honest.

As a matter of fact,
I'm going home today.

Tout de suite.

Here, let me...
Let me show you.

You see, here's my... my fare, $26.40,
to Blitzen, Washington.

Oh, man.
Oh, be careful, bleeding.

Maybe I didn't
make myself clear.

I'm going to get
the very first train home.

I swear, honest, so...
So, goodbye.

Au revoir.

Remember me
to the little woman.

Goodbye, man. Nice...

Nice going.
Let's have the diamond.

Here you are.

It's only bubblegum, stupid.

But it was in his pocket.
I thought...

Oh, he's still got it
on him.

Well, you can get it back.
You know where he's going.

Miss Collins.

Thank you.
Thank you.

Miss Nancy Collins.

Please report to the Camellia Room in the station.

Camellia room?
Immediately.

Not that way.
In back of you.

Oh!

Your attention please.

The Southern Pacific,
number 57...

I beg your pardon.

* I know
your mother loves you

* Your father
loves you, too

* But their kind of love
is no kind of love

* Next to my love for you

* I'm sure you find their kisses most satisfactory

* But you're going to hiss
the very next kiss

* After one kiss from me

* Your French poodle
is off his noodle

* Never goes out to play

* He guards you night and day

* That job is mine I say

* Say

* I know the cop, the mailman

* Yes, and the milkman, too

* Agree that you're rare

* And I more than
share their view

* So tell your father
and your mother

* And your sister
and your brother

* And the poodle, too

* That they'll never
ever love you

* like I do.

* This fella won't love you
like a relative

* This fella has lots
and lots of love to give

* I know
your uncle loves you

* Your auntie loves you, too.

Yes, of course.

* But no relative can possibly give what I could give to you.

That's true.

* I know
your doctor loves you

* Your dentist loves you, too

I'm not so sure.

* No skill with a drill
or vitamin pill

* Is like my cure for you.

You're the doctor.

* Men with millions
and plain civilians

* For you they'd gladly toil.

For little old me?

* Texans who drill the soil

* Baby, you'd make their oil boil
- Ow!

* Soldiers, marines
and sailors

* Grocers and tailors, too

* Agree that you're rare

* And I more than
share their view

* So tell your father
and your mother

* And your sister
and your brother

* And the Texan, too

* That they'll never
ever love you

* like I do

* Oh, no

* No, they'll never
ever love you

* Love you, baby,
like I do *

Man, I'm really in love.

Next.

I'd like a ticket to Blitzen,
Washington, please.

Blitzen, Washington?
That'll be $31.10.

Here you are, $26.40.

You're short.

I know,
but Dad was very tall.

You need $4.70 more.

Oh, no,
I think you're wrong, sir.

You see,
because last year when I came from Blitzen, Washington

to Los Angeles,
it cost $26.40.

Now it doesn't seem fair to go from Los Angeles to Blitzen, Washington

for $31.10,
so I think something's wrong.

Plus the fact,
this is all the money I have. I saved it up.

Rates went up last February.

Please, I'm in a hurry.

I'm sorry, lady, but...

Look.

Chicago.

One ticket for me
and one half-fare, please.

The boy under 12?
Oh, yes.

I'm 11 years old.
Ooh!

I was born February 22nd,
1943.

He's a little big for 11.

Sure, I'm a sailor.
You want me to give you the death ray?

Now, Marty.

Well, then give me a quarter
for a flying saucer

or I'll let him have it.
All right, dear. Here.

Last call for the Santa Fe,

San Bernardino local,
train number 54.

Leaves at 5:30 p.m.,
entering through gate J.

This is the last call.

I'll take this one.
25 cents, please.

Here you are,
I'll pay for that.

Thank you.

Oh, don't be frightened.
Here.

No, no, no,
that's for you.

I like little boys
who have space guns.

You know why?
'Cause I have a space collection.

You have?

Oh, sure,
they're right here in this bag.

And do you know
that when I went to the moon,

I got my first space gun.

And since then,
I've added almost 350 space guns to my collection.

I have one space gun
that shoots out little men,

and those little men have space guns that shoot darts.

And when I was in Tibet,

I got a space gun with camels sitting on the top of it,

just about so big.

I know it's pretty difficult to believe that,
but you must believe me.

The train leaves in 15 minutes.
What if we miss him?

Not a chance.
I'm getting on that train.

What are you going to
do to him?

Shut him up for good
after I get the diamond.

Now go on home,
wait for my call.

All right, but be careful.

Your attention, please.

The return portion of tickets
purchased in the East

require validation
before boarding your train.

Validation desks are located adjacent to the stationmaster's office.

Oh, I'm awfully sorry.
Hi, sonny.

Oh, don't you touch me.
I'm not going to touch you.

You leave me alone!
But, sonny.

I'm not going to hurt you.

You're not?
Of course not.

Oh, then will you buy
me a ticket, please?

No, I think you should let your daddy buy you a ticket.

I want a ticket!
Buy me a ticket!

I want a ticket!

What are you doin'
to the kid?

My uncle won't buy me a ticket,
and I got the money.

I hate goofs
who pick on kids.

Goofs?
Goofs!

I hate goofs, too.
Then buy the kid a ticket.

But he's no relative of...

I want a ticket!

Buy the kid a ticket.

All right, nephew.
Thank you, man.

Your attention, please.

Will Miguel Cruz kindly come
to the stationmaster's office?

Where you going?

Blitzen, Washington,
half-fare.

Half-fare,
Blinses, Washington.

No, Blitzen, Washington.

Blintzes?
No, Blitzen.

Blitzen, Washington,
half-fare.

Half-fare for whom?
For him.

For me.

How old are you?

Well, I'll be 12
on my next birthday.

I'm going to be a space cadet.
Shall I give you my death ray?

Why you little...

It's the only way I can get him to drink his milk.

Watch.

Open your mouth, nephew.

Your attention, please.

Southern Pacific Coast Daylight train number 98 is now arriving.

He's going to be
a space cadet.

If he lives,
he'll be a space cadet.

Last call, train for Sutton and Blitzen.
Gate B, now open.

All aboard.

Excuse me,
is that seat taken?

No.

Good.

Where are you going?

What?
I said where are you going?

Tickets, please.
Oh, home.

Tickets! Tickets!

Sorry, I haven't been able to find your French friend anywhere.

We stop at Blitzen, don't we?
- Yes, sir.

I'll find him.

Uh, together?
No.

Tickets, please.

Half-fare?

How old are you?

Oh, I'll be 12 years old
on my next birthday.

If I don't have an accident.

Stand up.
He wants you to stand.

You! You stand up!
Oh.

Higher. Higher, all the way.

That's it.

You're awful big for 12.

Oh, it's glands.
The whole family had glands.

Why, my mother was 6'4".
We called her shrimp.

If you're only 12,
you're pretty young to be traveling alone.

Oh, well, that's all right. I'm not scared.
I'm going be a space cadet.

Where are you going?
Home.

Oh, here it is right here.
You're going to...

What's the matter?

Oh, I'm train sick!
The rocking.

Here's your ticket.
Oh, I... I'm train sick.

The... The rocking of the train.
I'm really sick.

I get nauseous on a train
from rocking

and when it goes fast
and it shakes back and forth.

I'm really very sick
from the train.

Would you please keep quiet?

Yeah.

I dropped my gun, mister.

Wow!

My gun shoots milk.

Look, would you mind
getting out of here?

Not at all.

Oh, I'm...

What is the matter
with you?

I'm awfully sorry.
I'm just a little nervous.

I'm awfully sorry
I dropped my suitcase,

and I hope
I didn't hurt you, mister.

I'll put all my things
back in the suitcase,

and I'll get out of your way.

What is this?

Look out, conductors!
It's the little boy!

Look out!

Oh, geez.

He can't have gone far.
I've got to find him.

You've got to find him?

We've got to find him.
Half-fare!

He must be around here
someplace.

Hello.
Goodbye.

The train hasn't stopped.
He couldn't have gotten off.

What's the matter, son?
You're trembling.

I have very loose bones.

Are you lost?
No.

Where's your mother?

I'm traveling all alone.

And you started
wandering around the train

and now you don't know
where you're supposed to be?

I'll call the conductor.
Oh, no!

I mean, I... I do know
where I'm supposed to be,

in the day coach,
but I don't like it there very much.

I don't feel so good,
right here.

I bet I know your problem.

You do?

Mmm-hmm.

They gave you money
to buy your dinner,

and instead of that
you bought some ice cream,

and some candy
and maybe some soda pop?

Yeah, and some marshmallows,

and some cotton candy,
and popcorn and cigarettes.

Cigarettes?

Oh, I mean can-candy cigarettes, chocolate.

Oh!

Why don't you sleep here?

Here?

I'm sure your mother
would want you looked after.

I'll call the conductor.
Oh, no, don't do that.

Why?

Oh, well,
he doesn't like me, see,

and... and he's not a nice man because we were talkin' about trains,

and I told him
I had 13 cars in my set,

and he only has 11,
and he's jealous and nasty, he is.

All right, then.
I'll ring for the porter.

Oh, no.

If you press that buzzer,
I'll be killed!

What an imagination!

Well, don't you see?

The porter and the conductor
are in cahoots against me.

Oh.

Well, then,
why don't we make up the upper berth ourselves?

Oh! Oh, yeah, okay.

Good.

I get off in the morning
at Twin Lakes,

but you're all right
for tonight, anyway.

Thank you, let me help you.

You're awfully nice.
Thank you.

Here.

What's your name?
Wilbur. Wilbur Hoolick.

Do you have pajamas
with you, Wilbur?

Yes, lady, I have.

You may call me Aunt Nancy.

Aunt Nancy.
Willy.

Oh, help! Help! Help!
Wilbur!

Oh, help! Get me...
Get me down!

Oh! Oh!

Help! Help!

Oh, Wilbur,
are you all right?

Oh, you broke your glasses.

Did you ever have a day when just everything went wrong?

Take your things
and go in there and change.

Thank you.

If you have any trouble with your buttons,
just sing out.

Oh!

Are you all right, Wilbur?
Yes, I'm fine.

There's nothing
to be frightened of.

It's just the storm
that woke you up.

You mustn't be afraid
of thunder and lightning.

I'm not afraid.

Oh, yes, you are.
All youngsters are.

Why, I was terrified
when I was your age.

I used to crawl in
with my little brother.

Remember,
I'm only your nephew.

This going to be a bad one.

Just hang on to me tight,
Willy.

I... I'm all right, really.

Just rest your head
against my shoulder.

I can't do that.
Your husband wouldn't like that.

I have no husband.

I'm not married, either.
I hope not.

And I'm glad
you're not married.

Why?

Should I tell you?
Yes.

No, I better not.

Not tonight. I'll tell you in the morning.
It's a surprise.

Good, I like surprises.

Uh-oh, it's going to
be a bad one.

Well, I think
I'd better get upstairs,

and you'd better
go to bed, too.

Yeah, okay.

In you go.

Are you all right now, Willy?

I never felt so good,
Aunt Nancy.

Good night, Willy.

Good night.

Wow.

Agnes! Agnes!
Hurry, come on!

Yes, Mr. Miles.
Take over.

Yes, Mr. Miles.

One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

Oh! Oh.

You all right?
Good brakes.

They'd better be.
I can't afford to run down the boss's daughter.

Why don't I pack us
a picnic lunch?

This is the kind of a day
to play hooky.

I've already thought of that.
Good.

But I'm on my way
to pick up Nancy.

There was a washout
last night,

and the train's been stalled
about five miles out of town.

Oh.
Well, I guess a big railroad like that can get her here safely.

Probably, but I...
I did promise to pick her up.

All right, I'll go with you.

No, but I
promised her, I...

Unless I'm in the way.

Oh, no.
No, you're not in the way.

What happened
in Los Angeles?

I saw Colonel Blair,

and he thinks I should get my papers in a week or so.

I know Karen Blair quite well.
Perhaps I can speed up your orders?

That'd be wonderful.
Don't mention it.

Beautiful tune.
The words are pretty, too.

Do you know them?
I think so.

* Love is all that matters

* And we've got love

* We have walked off
with a prize

* The stars
that I used to see

* Are not
where they used to be

* They only will shine for me

* in your eyes

* You are all that matters

* And I've got you

* We're on top
and we won't fall

* No fortune
that we can boast

* We're happy
with tea and toast

* For we've got love

* And love matters most

* of all

Good morning, Willy.

Oh, uh, good morning,
Aunt Nancy.

Did you sleep well?
Yes, fine, thank you.

What happened?
The train ain't moving?

A bridge washed out
down the road.

There's nothing
to be frightened of.

Oh, I'm not frightened
when I'm with you.

That's very nice.

You know, someday,
I hope I have a little man like you.

That's very nice.

You know something?
When I met you last night,

that was the nicest thing
that ever happened to me.

Well, thank you, Willy.

Well, you know,
it... it's like...

Well, everything
is different.

It's...

Well, it's very hard
to explain,

but I have a very funny feeling in my stomach.

What you need is a good breakfast.
You're a growing boy.

Oh, that's what I wanted
to talk to you about.

We'll have a nice talk
right after breakfast.

Oh, but this
is very important.

I'm sure it is,
and I want to hear all about it.

Well, I'd like to
start from the beginning.

After breakfast.
But this is very important!

Now, what would you like?

How about some oatmeal and a nice big glass of milk, huh?

That'll build up
your strength.

I'll take a look
down this way.

Oh, hello.
Hello.

Do you have
a Nancy Collins listed?

Nancy Collins.
Let me see.

Cooper, Collins, yes.

Drawing Room B.
Right in here.

Thanks.

Nancy?

Nancy?

Nancy.

Beg your pardon,
I must have the wrong...

Wrong

room.

Excuse me.

That's quite all right.

Oh! Oh, why, Gretchen.
What are you doing here?

I drove down with Bob.
He was worried about you.

How nice. Where is he?

Well, I'm sure
it doesn't matter.

You seem to have
plenty of company.

What do you mean?

If I were you,
I'd stay on this train and keep going.

What are you... Oh! Oh!

Oh, I'm so sorry.
You're sorry.

Oh.

Well, Gretchen,
what happened to you?

I found Nancy.

What'd you do,
have breakfast with her?

I think
you better not go in there.

Why?

Well, she's sharing
her drawing room with a man.

Nancy?

He was in bed
when I walked in.

Oh, there's some mistake.

Yes, there's a mistake all right,
and Nancy's made it.

Gretchen, I think
you've said about enough.

Well, I saw him!

You coming?
No.

Not until I hear Nancy's side
of the story.

Uh-huh.

Drawing Room B.
I'll see you at school.

Aunt Nancy,
I still have something on my mind.

Nancy.
Oh, no!

Wilbur.

Hello, Bob.
We'd better do something fast.

Gretchen thinks
there's a man in here.

It's Willy.

Willy? Willy!
Willy?

Hello.
Oh, it's the kid!

You two know
one another, huh?

Sure, I'm his part-time uncle.
I bought him his train ticket.

But what's he doin' here?

He wasn't feeling well last night,
so I let him sleep here.

And Gretchen doesn't know
he's a little boy.

She was in too big a hurry
to spread the word.

I'll bet you that board meeting's goin' on right this minute.

Well, I felt it was my duty
to come to you, the board,

and... and give you an insight into the private life of Nancy Collins.

It's the most outrageous conduct I've ever heard of.

Miss Brendan, you say
you actually saw this man

in her, uh... drawing room?

Oh, yes, Professor Okell.

And when I confronted her with it,
she hit me with a tray.

This is outrageous.

No breath of scandal has ever touched the Brendan School for Girls,

nor shall it now.

I move that we vote
for the dismissal of...

Oh, I'm sorry I'm late, Mrs.
Brendan, but I had a train to meet.

We were just taking a vote on the dismissal of Nancy Collins.

Good, I'll vote, no.
You'll what?

Don't you think Nancy should be allowed to testify on her own behalf?

I hardly think she'd have the nerve to appear,
let alone testify.

Have you heard
what happened?

I was there. I saw it.

You... You mean
you saw the man?

Did I?

He was very suave,
sophisticated.

A man of the world.

You know,
Nancy never had a chance.

Well, that explains
everything.

I'll let you see
for yourself.

Mr. Wilbur Hoolick.

Hello.

I... I can do a trick!

Want to see it?

Excuse me, Aunt Nancy,
I'm gonna do a...

Help me with the trick.
Oh, Wilbur, stop.

Help me with the trick!
I want to do it! One trick.

Hold my hands and then...
All right.

Oh!

I landed right on my feet.

Very suave.
And, uh, and a good trick.

Oh, swords!
Wilbur!

Come on, let's have a fight
like you see in the movies!

En garde!
Wilbur!

Wilbur!
See?

Oh, no! Oh, no,
spare me, sir. Give me that.

Oh, please, spare my life.

Be a good boy!
Oh, thank you. Thank you, sir.

Thank you very much.

Kill you!

And you, men,
take the helm and take over!

It's not loaded!

That's the signal!
Board the boat, men!

Board the boat, men!

All right, rocket service!

Let's drink a toast.
That was a successful voyage.

Throw it down!
No!

Throw it down!

Throw it down!

Oh!

Call the meeting to order.
Young man!

Mrs. Brendan,
I believe I can explain.

You see, Willy, here,
had a tummy ache last night.

There was no place
for him to sleep,

so I invited him
to stay in my drawing room.

Well, I... I think
that was highly commendable.

I apologize
if I have violated any rules.

Well, under
these circumstances...

Meeting's adjourned.
That's right.

I'm sorry, Nancy.

Well, I... I better be going.

Now, it would be a shame to lose such an adorable little boy so soon.

Why don't you stay
for the Saturday night party?

I'm sure you'd enjoy
meeting all the little girls.

No, I think
I'd better be running along.

Good.

Thank you, Aunt Nancy.

Goodbye, everybody.
- Goodbye.

Bye!

Hello.

Surprise, I'm back.

I thought you were leavin'.

Oh, I decided to stay
for the party.

How nice.

Well, I have a class.
I'll see you later, Willy.

Yeah.

You know, I'm glad
you changed your mind.

Oh, yeah,
I'd much rather be in here than out there.

I know, you can room with my brother.
He's just about your age.

Oh, won't that be
a lot of fun.

Bob, will you take him over to my house?
I'll join you later.

You know, there are 200 girls
waiting to meet you.

Oh, and I just can't wait
to meet them.

Come on, Wilbur.

He's a remarkable boy.

Come on, hurry!
Come on.

Oh, get it!

No, no!

Catch, Uncle Bob.

Wilbur, come here.

Thank you for the game.
Come on, come on.

Come here! What is this,
an obstacle course?

Wilbur! Come on, Wilbur.

What kind of school
are you running here, anyhow?

It's a school for girls,
and the reception committee

is going to be here
any minute.

I don't need
no reception committee.

Of course you do.
Why should you be any different?

Because I don't think
I need a reception committee.

* Face the music
when you've got trouble

* Face it, face it
and you'll chase it far away

* Just face the music You'll make your worry hurry, scurry

* Not a care
will dare to stay

* The drums are drumming

* You should be humming

* Joy is coming
Coming for to make you gay

* So blow the trumpets,
bang the cymbals

* When they start to play

* Face the music

* Play the music

* Every day's a happy day

I want to march.
You can't march.

I want to lead the march!

All right, march. Fall in!

* Face the music
when you've got trouble

* Face it, face it
and you'll chase it far away

* Just face the music

* You'll make your worry
hurry, scurry

* Not a care
will dare to stay

* The drums are drumming

* You should be humming

* Joy is coming
Coming for to make you gay

* So blow the trumpets,
bang the cymbals

* When they start to play

* Face the music

* When there's music

* Every day's a happy day.

Fall in!

* Face the music

* Face it and you'll chase your troubles away

* Face the music

* Hurry

* Not a care
will dare to stay

* Drums are drumming

* Joy is coming

* Joy is coming
to make you gay

* The trumpets,
cymbals, start to play

* Every day's a happy day

* Face the music

* Face the music

* Face the music

* Every day
is gonna be a happy day

* Face the music

* Play the music

* Every day's a happy day.

Wilbur!

Gretchen?
That's Aunt Gretchen.

Gretchen?

Oh, here you are. You're just in time.
I was about to fix some tea.

Oh, I can't stay.
I'm late for my class now.

I just come over
to deliver Wilbur.

Well, if you can't.

Have a good time.

Thank you.
I'll see you later.

Bye, Bob.
Bye.

Oh, where's my suitcase?

Your suitcase is in Michael's room.
Come along.

I'm sure you two will
get along just fine.

Oh, thank you, Aunt Gretchen.
Here's my hat.

Oh, Michael!

How many times have I told you to clean up this room?

I brought you
a weekend guest.

Thanks.

This is Wilbur Hoolick.
My brother, Michael.

Hello.
Hi.

Well, I'll leave you two
to get acquainted.

Thank you very much,
Aunt Gretchen.

Oh, my goodness.

Look at all those
pretty rocks and stones.

My, there must be
a million of 'em here.

How old are you, anyway?
Twenty? Twenty-five?

What are you talkin' about?
You crazy? I... I'm just a little kid.

Yeah?

I looked through
your suitcase.

How often do you shave?

Once every day.
That's better.

Well, you're not going to give me away,
are you, Mike?

It's very important to Nancy
that you don't.

She'll be in very big trouble
if you do.

Now, why are you
dressed up like that?

Oh, well, to help Nancy.

Okay, but why are you
dressed up like that?

To help Nancy.

You see, I can't
explain it now, Mike,

except that
if they find out, see,

that I'm a grown-up man,

it can get Nancy
in all kinds of trouble, see.

We don't want that to happen.
So you'll help me out, huh?

Okay.
Good.

Do you collect rocks, too?
No, not really.

Then what are you doing
with this?

Oh, that ain't mine.

I found this in your suitcase
in your pants' pocket.

Oh. It still ain't mine.

Can I have it?
Sure, be my guest.

Thanks.

I'll run a test on it.
I'm going to be a geologist.

Oh, that's swell.

What do we do now?
Let's go.

Let's go.

We better pick out
a nice fancy suit for you.

Oh, I don't need
anything fancy.

That's what you think.

We got to get rid
of that square outfit.

Square outfit? Yeah,
I guess it is a little square.

Just a minute!

Let's go.
Let's go again.

Mr. Hoolick,
my name is Skeets Powell,

and I've been sent to welcome you on behalf of the student body.

Oh, well, thank you very much,
but I'm not...

We drew lots for you.
I've got you from 1:00 till 3:00,

and then Ann Brown
has you from 3:00 to 3:30.

Joan Francis gets you
until 4:15,

and then Natalie Lee
has you until 5:00.

Oh, looks like
I'm booked solid.

Yeah, well, look,
I'll pick you up in 15 minutes,

so don't be late. Bye!

Bye!

I got 15 minutes yet.

Who was that?
Skeets.

Oh.

Good afternoon, Willy.

Good afternoon, Aunt Nancy.

It couldn't be.

No.

I hope our amusing little school isn't boring you too much.

A school's a school.
How clever!

A school is a school.

It just came to me.

Gee, I'm awful glad
you could stay, Wilbur.

Oh, I am, too.

Except I can only stay
over the weekend.

Oh.

Would you like to
sit down for a while?

Okay.

No, sit over here.
No.

Close your eyes. Real tight.

Why do you want...

Oh, you scared me.

I was going to ask you why you wanted me to close my eyes.

Well, Wilbur seems to know his way around a campus,
doesn't he?

I can't understand that.

I could have sworn
he was the shy, studious type.

I'll say.

Man, dig that crazy homework.

I better have
a little talk with him.

I don't think
he understands girls.

Neither do I.
I wish you'd have a little talk with me.

I got to get out of here.
Hey.

Kiss me! Kiss me!

Oh, no!

Get away, you!

Remember, girls,

tomorrow we're having a test
on the alloyed group.

I want a list
of all our enzyme experiments.

Are there any questions?

Class dismissed.

Hi, dreamboat.
I'm not talkin' to you.

Skeets.

You want to see me,
Aunt Nancy?

Well, yes, Willy. I...
I wanted to have a little talk with you.

Uh-huh.

I'm rather worried
about you, Willy.

Did I do somethin' wrong?

Oh, no, no.
I don't think so.

Oh, no, I'm sure not.

Well, I...

Uh, what I mean to say is,

well, I don't think you know very much about girls,
do you?

I wouldn't want you
to get into trouble.

What kind of trouble?

It's difficult
to explain, but...

Well, some people
are born girls,

and some people
are born boys.

I'm glad.

It makes it so much nicer
for dancing.

Yes.

What I'm trying
to say, Willy,

is that girls are usually
more mature than boys.

You have to be careful.

Oh, you're talkin' about
the birds and the bees.

I'm talking about you kissing Skeets in the park.

Well, can you explain that?

Not in one afternoon.

Well, now, it's...

It's perfectly all right for little girls and little boys to kiss.

I don't mean that,
but there's a...

Well, there is
a certain way to do it.

Oh, you mean little girls come with a set of instructions?

No.
No, what I mean is there are different kinds of kisses.

There. Is that clear?

No.

Unless you mean little girls and little boys should kiss like this.

Yes, yes, that's it.

Is that what I was doing?

No, I'm... I'm afraid
it wasn't.

You mean I was doing
something like this.

Yes.

Yes. That looked like
what you were doing.

And I should have
been doing this.

Yes, that's it.

Now I'm all confused.

I forgot
what I'm not supposed to do.

Wilbur.

Oh, yeah. I remember now.

That's enough!

Hello, Bob.
Hello.

Look, you stick to the little ones.
The big ones are mine.

Now, don't... don't
be silly.

I was just telling Willy here
how to protect himself.

I don't think
Wilbur needs protection.

You want to see
the way little boys kiss?

Well, that's nice, Wilbur.

This comes a little later.

Now cut that out!

What's wrong with you?
Oh, oh, nothing's wrong.

I was just trying to show you
what I shouldn't do.

Well, that's right.
That's what you shouldn't do.

No.

Well, I... I must go.

I hope you won't forget
our little talk, Willy.

No, I won't forget,
Aunt Nancy.

Goodbye, Uncle Bob.
Now, wait a minute.

I want to have
a little talk with you.

Oh, oh, I can't.
Natalie has me until 4:30.

Natalie can wait.

Why don't you straighten up?

Oh, I am straightened up.

It's just that
my shoulders are stupid.

That's funny,
I got stupid shoulders.

I have to go.
Now, look.

It's possible I could have had you all wrong.

Had me all wrong?

Maybe you are a nice, simple,
warm-hearted kid after all.

Yeah, and a loyal,
trustworthy pal.

That's right.

Yeah.

Cigar, pal?
Oh, thanks, pal.

It's a cigar!
It's a real cigar!

What did you think
it was, Wilbur?

W-What did I think it was?

Oh, I... I thought
it was a candy cigar.

My daddy always gave me
candy cigars.

Candy cigar?
Yeah.

Did it taste
anything like this?

Did it taste...

I'll see.
I'll wait.

I... I'm not sure.

Let's try again, Wilbur.

I don't think it's the same.

We must be positive.

Pal.

I feel awful.

I got some medicine
that'll fix you right up.

How do like your Scotch?
Plain or with soda?

On the rocks.
On the rocks?

Oh, on the rocks
is what my daddy always says

when he orders
that nasty whiskey.

I can't make up my mind
about you.

Let me feel your muscle.

Let me see your grip.

Oh. I know that one.

Jujitsu!

Isn't that good?

Mr. Miles?
Yes.

There are two gentlemen here
to see you.

They say
it's very important.

I'll be right with you.

Don't go away.
Don't go away.

No.

Wrong color.

What, uh, can I do for you?

Lieutenant O'Malley,
Los Angeles Homicide Squad.

Sergeant Brown.
Hi, Sergeant.

Can I help you?
Yes, you can be very helpful.

We trailed a killer down here.
A killer?

You know Wilbur Hoolick?

Wilbur Hoolick, a killer?

He's not a killer.

Well, I didn't think so.
He's just a kid.

He isn't a kid, either.

He isn't a kid?
No.

How old is he?
I'd say about your age.

My age?

Sit down.

But you don't understand...
Sit down!

I'm telling you all this
in confidence.

He's the only hope we have
of catching the killer.

The man we're after
is after Hoolick.

He's after Hoolick.

When he strikes,
we'll catch him.

But we need someone to keep an eye on Wilbur every minute.

Do you mind
if I tell my girl about this?

You're to tell no one.
Wilbur's life is at stake.

It's more at stake
than you think.

I knew we could
count on you.

We'll keep in touch
with you.

Good day.
Good day.

My age?

Hello, Mr. Miles.
Not now!

Wilbur?

Oh, hello, Uncle Bob.
Did you see those men?

I saw them.

Wilbur.
What?

When you were on the train,

did you spend the whole night
in Nancy's drawing room?

Aunt Nancy's drawing room.
Yes, I did.

Where did you sleep.

in aunt Nancy's drawing room?

In bed. Ha, ha.

And she came downstairs and she tucked me in because I was nervous.

You were nervous?
Well, what are you so nervous about?

You weren't even there!

That's what
I'm nervous about!

Oh, oh.

Excuse me.
Sure.

Drink hearty, Uncle Bob.

Wilbur?
Yeah.

I like you.
You do?

I'm going to keep
a close eye on you.

Why?
To keep you out of trouble.

Here, you hold this?
Yes.

Did you hear that?
What?

Footsteps! Footsteps!
Oh!

Mrs. Brendan!
Oh!

Don't let her catch you
with that whiskey!

Get rid of it. Not there!
No, not there! Get rid of it!

Here, get rid of it!
Don't let her catch you with it!

Drink it, drink it!

Good boy.

Oh, it's you. Come in.

Well, the sign says...
Oh, come on in.

What are you doing?
A little spying.

Spying, on who?
On Gretchen.

You see,
Bob can't figure out

why he hasn't been
called back to active duty.

Mr. Miles?
Yeah.

Bob?
Yeah.

He's in the Army?

Well, sure.
He's in the reserves.

Gee, now, if they called him
back to active duty,

then Nancy and me...
What?

Oh, I was just wondering
to myself.

How come
he wasn't called back?

Well, read this.

It's from Gretchen
to Colonel Blair's wife.

You shouldn't read other people's mail.
That's not very nice.

I'll read it to you.

"Dear Karen,
just a note to thank you for your cooperation"

"in helping to keep Bob here."

"I don't know what the school
would do without him,"

"or for that matter,
what I would do without him."

"I will return the favor
someday."

"Gobs of love, Gretchen."

Why, that dirty
double-crosser.

What did I tell you?

I'd do anything
to help Bob go overseas.

So would I.

Oh, I mean, I would like
to help him out, too,

'cause he's
a very nice fellow.

I have an idea.

Look, how would it be if you and I wrote another letter

to Colonel Blair's wife,
and in that letter...

No, but we would
change all the words our way.

No.

How would it...
Oh, I know.

We'll have Gretchen
phone Colonel Blair's wife.

Say, that's great.

Oh, wait a minute.
Gretchen would never do that.

And I have
a sneaking suspicion

that's exactly
what she's going to do.

Here.
Huh?

Dormitory. Okay.

Hello?
- The time, please.

The time?
The time is exactly 7:57.

Thank you.
You're welcome.

Hello.

Oh, it's you.

I... I'm awful sorry, Skeets,
that I didn't talk to you in the lab,

but, you see,
Aunt Nancy was watching.

Oh, that's okay, Wilbur.

Are you going to dance with me
tomorrow night, Wilbur?

Sure, I'd like that.

You like to dance?

Oh, gee, I... I'd rather dance
than eat.

Would you like to see
a real good step?

Oh, I'd love to, Wilbur.
All right.

Real gone, man.

Oh, that was nothing.

I could dance a lot better
if I had music.

Hey, wait a minute.
I got a portable radio in my room!

Yeah?
Only it's against the rules for me

to leave the switchboard.

I'll be right back.
Crazy.

Hello? Hello? Hello?
Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello?

Operator.
Hello.

Can I please
have long distance?

For long distance,
dial 110.

Oh, all right, thank you.

Long Distance.
Hello?

Oh, hello, long distance.
I would like to place a call, please,

to Mrs. Karen Blair,
that's Colonel Blair's wife,

at March Field, California.

One moment, please.
Yes, thank you, I'll wait.

Long distance?
Are you still there?

Are you ready for your call?

Yes, I'm ready.

Hello?

Karen, darling.

How divine
to talk to you again.

It's been a long time.

Yes, it has been
a long time, hasn't it?

Much too long,
you naughty girl, you.

We must get together again real soon for a rousing game of mahjong.

Oh, I'd just love to.

Oh, by the way,
Karen, my dear.

I have an enormous favor
to ask of you.

My Bobby...
Booby?

No, not booby.

Bobby. Talked to your husband
about going overseas?

Yes, I've been
talking to him.

Yes, I know.

You've been a perfect angel about it,
but I've changed my mind.

You have?

I think that
Robert should go.

Are you sure Bob wants to?

All right, Gretchen,

I'll tell my husband
that Bob's changed his mind.

Oh, thank you, Karen.

You're such a darling!

I'll tell him he should have his orders in the next 24 hours.

Goodbye, Gretchen.

You're real crazy,
aren't you?

Oh, dear!

What are you doing?
I'm leavin'.

I have to get out of here.

Listen, if I leave my suitcase,
will you send it to me?

I guess so.

You're just gonna
sneak out of here

without saying goodbye
to anyone?

Well, I have to.

You say goodbye to Nancy
for me, huh?

What do you want me
to tell her?

Tell her, uh...

Just tell her goodbye, huh?

You!

Help!

Quiet or I'll kill you
right here.

Okay. Help, help, save me!

Hey, there!

Nancy. Nancy?

What are you doing here?

I saw someone
crawl through this window.

You're mistaken.

You mustn't let them
find you here.

Men aren't allowed
in this building.

I know,
I didn't want anything to happen to you,

but I saw a white thing
crawl through here,

and it looked like Wilbur.

Oh, that's ridiculous.

Wilbur wouldn't do
a thing like that.

You're very fond of him,
aren't you?

Very.

I wish he belonged to me.

You could do with a little of
Wilbur's manners, you know.

I'm sure
they must be very charming,

but he certainly didn't have any trouble worming his way in.

Well, no, he didn't.

And he doesn't come climbing
into people's rooms

in the middle of the night,
either.

What was that?

- I don't know.
- Let's go find out.

Oh, a cat.
I don't have a cat.

You don't have a cat?
Well, how do you explain this?

Well, uh, maybe
the wind blew against it

and knocked it over.

Nancy, there's somebody
in here.

Are you accusing me
of hiding a man in here?

I'm not accusing you, Nancy.
I trust you.

I don't trust Wilbur.

How can you pick on anyone
as sweet and fine as Wilbur?

I know him a lot better
than you do, Bobby. Leave me.

Wilbur is not
what he seems to be.

Oh, you found that out, too.

The first night.
First night?

I know he seems
kind of silly and awkward,

but inside he has
a fine and sensitive spirit.

"A fine and sensitive spirit"?
Wilbur?

I don't want to talk about it
anymore tonight.

I've had a hard day.

Why don't you go to bed?

I will. I will as soon
as I take my shower!

Wilbur?
Yeah.

Oh.

Nancy?

Bob, what's the matter
with you?

If they catch you here,
the two of us will be thrown out of school.

You mean the three of us.
I saw him come in here.

You saw who come in here?

Your boyfriend, Wilbur.

What's wrong with you,
darling?

Oh, save your "darlings"
for Wilbur.

I tell you, at this moment,
Wilbur is in his room sound asleep.

He's not here?
He's not here.

He's in his room
sound asleep?

He's in his room
sound asleep.

Okay, I'm gonna find out.

You do that.

Good evening.

We're delighted
that you both could come.

We were happy to come.

Would you excuse me, please?
Certainly.

Enjoy yourselves.

I've been trying to see you
all day.

I locked my windows.

And what's that
supposed to mean?

You can figure that out
for yourself.

Maybe Wilbur can help me.

Bob, I don't know
what's come over you lately.

You've just got to stop
picking on Wilbur!

Bob, what
are you waiting for?

What?

You're next, your song.

Oh, my song.

We'll continue this later.

* Your eyes are simpatico

* Tonight they have told me

* That you'll be simpatico

* To me alone

* Your arms are simpatico

* And when they enfold me

* They hold me within a spell

* No lover has known

* When you do the things
you do to me

* Every thrill I knew
is new to me

* Go on and do the things
you do to me

* When you do what you do

* You're so sympathetic

* Which means you're simpatico

* Which means I'm in heaven

* And heaven will be our home

* When you are mine

* When you do the things
you do to me

* Every thrill I knew
is new to me

* Go on and do the things
you do to me

* When you do what you do

* You're so sympathetic

* Which means you're simpatico

* Which means I'm in heaven

* And heaven will be our home

* When you are mine

* Promise that
you'll stay simpatico

* Come what may,
you'll stay simpatico

* The way
that I will stay simpatico

* When you are mine

Hello, Aunt Nancy.
Hello, Willy.

Why aren't you inside
dancing?

Oh, I am dancing inside.

I mean, inside I'm dancing.

I know what you mean.
That's very grown-up.

Uh, can I
ask you a question?

That's ungrammatical,
but tonight's a holiday.

What is it?

Well, do you believe
in love at first sight?

Willy, you've fallen in love with one of the girls here,
haven't you?

Uh-huh.

Does she love you, too?

Well, she's very fond of me,

and she thinks I have a very fine and sensitive spirit.

So do I.

You tell her I said you'd make a fine husband when the time comes.

I think the time's coming.

Nancy, I think you're
the most wonderful girl

I ever met in my whole life,

and I haven't slept a wink
since I kissed you.

Willy, little boys
don't talk like that.

Yes, I know, and I never
could talk to girls.

I mean,
I usually get very tongue-tied when I'm around girls.

But not when I'm around you.

That's very sweet.

I'm very grateful, but...

Willy, I'm too old for you.

My mom and dad got married
when she was 17.

Yes, that's different.

That's old enough
for a girl to get married.

Yeah, but my dad
was only 12.

Well, if I was older,

do you think that I would make a very good husband?

If you were older,
I think you'd make a wonderful husband.

I'll be back when I'm 25.

Will you wait?

That's a long time to wait.

It won't be as long
as you think.

Now don't move.
I'll be right back.

Nancy?

I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.

What are we fightin' about?

I don't know.

I guess I do. I'm jealous.

Of Wilbur?
He's only 14 years old.

He is?

Well, how old
did you think he was?

Oh, much older.

I mean,
he's very mature for 14.

I thought he was
at least 15.

Oh, Bob, you're so silly.

Now let's see.

"Nancy, I know
I'm not very much,"

"but I am old enough."

"And I couldn't love you any more if I were 100 years old."

No, that's no good.

"Nancy, honey,
if you marry me,"

"I'll be the happiest,
luckiest man in the whole world."

Nancy, honey,
if you marry me,

I'll be the happiest, luckiest
man in the whole world.

Of course I'll marry you.

Nancy.

It wouldn't have
worked out anyway.

I'm too tall for her.

Lover boy!

Hello, Mrs. Brendan.
Hello, Wilbur.

Lover boy!

What are you doin' here?

Oh, I'm just
passing through.

Keep passing.
Yeah.

Help!

Now what do you want?
I... I want to stay here.

You can't stay here.

Yeah,
but you're stayin' here.

I'm conducting.

Oh, you mean, if you conduct,
you can stay here?

That's right, get out.
All right, I want to conduct.

You can't conduct.

I want to conduct!
No!

Let Wilbur conduct.

- Let Wilbur conduct!
- Go ahead, Wilbur!

Now by popular demand,

we bring you the interstate choir conducted by Wilbur Hoolick!

Good luck.

Oh, don't go, Mr. Miles.
Help me out with this number.

What number is it?
I Like to Hike.

So do I,
but what's the song?

I Like to Hike
is the name of the song,

and do it
with dignity. Dignity!

Oh, yeah.
I... I'll be dignity.

* Life is glorious.

* Life is glorious.

* Grand and glorious.

* Grand and glorious.

And...

* And when the shadow's long

* We all sit around
the campfire

* Campfire

Was I too loud?

No, that wasn't bad at all.

Thank you.

* The night birds gently call

* And call and call and call

* You cannot sleep

* at all

* It's time to hit the trail

* It's time to hit the trail

* It's time
to hit the lofty trail

* It's time
to hit the lofty trail

* I never like to travel
by automobile or bike

* The only way to travel along is to travel along the way you like

* And as for me,
I like, I like to hike

* He likes to hike
He likes to hike

* He hates to pedal a bike

* It's time to climb the peak

* It's time
to climb the peak

* The dawn
breaks through the sky

* Again you'll hear the cry

* And then you hear

* Again you hear

* From the land
you hear the cry.

That was beautiful.

Did you really think so?
I loved it.

Would you like to hear it again?
Please.

Will you wait here?

* From the land you hear the

* cry

* I've climbed a lot
of mountain peaks

* Including the peak of Pike

* The peak of Pike
was a heck of a hike

* But I'll never, never,
never rest until I conquer Everest

* We'll never, ever,
ever rest until we conquer Everest

* We like to hike
We like to hike

* We like to hike
We like to hike

* We like to hike
We like to hike

* We like to hike
We like to hike

* We like to hike
We like to hike

* We like to hike
We like to hike

* We like to hike
We like to hike

* We like to hike
We like to hike

* We

* like

* to hike

* We like to hike.

Get out!

Mrs. Brendan?
Yes.

You wanted to see me?
Yes, I did.

The, uh, girl said
it was urgent, Mr...

Uh, Hoolick.
I'm Wilbur's father.

Oh, how nice to meet you.
Do sit down.

Thank you.

I hope our keeping Wilbur here didn't inconvenience you.

A little, but it's going to
be all right.

When did you want to
take him home?

Uh, now.

The sooner the better.

Oh. I'll have him
sent down here.

Yes, Mrs. Brendan?

Skeets, would you have Wilbur Hoolick sent to my office, please?

Wilbur will be delighted
to see you.

He'll be surprised
to see me.

Gee!

"Majuba diamond murderer.
Police baffled."

Wilbur's the killer!

Boy, these straight razors
sure do the job, boy.

You know somethin', Mike?
I want to thank you.

You've been very,
very helpful to me,

and believe me when I tell you,
I ain't gonna forget you.

You won't?
No.

Well, I mean,
I'd just as soon you would.

What do you mean, pal?
We've been buddies, we're friends.

What do you mean forget you?

And the gang back home,
they'll love you.

But I'm too young
to be with a gang.

Yeah, maybe you're right, kid.

Yeah, well, maybe
we'll give you a few years.

Wait, Willy. Wait just a minute!
I won't tell on you. Please!

Please, don't kill me!

You don't want to die, huh?

Well, don't worry about it,
sonny.

I'm gonna let you live.
Oh, boy, thanks.

Oh, boy, you're welcome,
but on one condition.

You gotta keep your mouth shut,
you understand?

Sure.
You don't talk to nobody.

You just keep your mouth shut.

Don't say a word to no one.
You keep everything quiet.

You don't say nothin'.
Nothin'. Nothin'.

You don't say nothin'
to anybody.

You keep your mouth shut and be sure you just do like I tell you.

Then you won't get into any trouble.
Shut up!

Someone's at the door.
Let's see who it is.

Well, let's go.

You get the door.
Okay, sure.

But be sure when you open the door,
you don't say nothin'.

Remember what I told you.
Keep your mouth shut.

Don't say nothin' to nobody.
Just open the door, see who's there,

and that's all. You don't talk to nobody.
You understand?

Just open the door,
that's all I'm askin' you to do.

Well, open the door!
Okay.

Hi, Wilbur, how are you?

I'm in no mood
to get engaged today.

Do you feel all right,
Wilbur?

I'm fine.

What's on your mind, baby?

Well, Mrs.
Brendan wanted to see you in her office right away.

Why?
She didn't say.

I'll walk back with you
if you want me to.

Okay, but no swans.

No swans.

Get my coat!
Sure, sure.

Skeets!
Yes?

Nothin'.

Wilbur's
a very remarkable boy.

In this day and age,
it's so difficult to rear a child properly.

Yes.

I wouldn't give you 10-to-1 on a boy like Wilbur living to grow up.

Oh, that's a little on the pessimistic side,
Mr. Hoolick.

All right,
I'll make it 8-to-1.

Oh, really.

Here he is, Mrs. Brendan.

Hello, Mrs. Brendan,
did you want to...

Surprised?
Of course he is.

I've had a hard time
catching up with Wilbur.

Now you have him back
safe and sound.

It was just
a question of time.

Shall we go, son?
Now?

You wouldn't want to
worry Mama.

No, I wouldn't.

Take good care of him.

Oh, he'll be taken care of.

I don't want to go.

Why, Wilbur?

Yes, tell her why.

Well, because, you see,
I'm not really a little...

I like it here.
I want to go to school here.

This is a girls' school.
That's why I like it here.

Now, Wilbur,
you mustn't hurt your father's feelings.

You wouldn't do that,
would you, Wilbur?

No.
You know how sensitive I am.

He's very sensitive.

You're choking him,
Mr. Hoolick.

Oh.

Come along, son.
You don't have much time.

It's been nice
meeting you, Mr. Hoolick.

It's been very nice
meeting you, Mrs. Brendan.

Goodbye, Wilbur.

Don't say that,
Mrs. Brendan!

All right, you.

Where is it?

Why did you tell Mrs. Brendan
you're my father?

Where is it?
Where's what?

Look, when I get through
working you over,

you'll tell me where it is.

Or do you want to talk now?

All right, I'll talk.
Well, talk!

How's Mama?

This way.

I don't know
what you're mad at me for!

I didn't do anything to you,
and I didn't do anything to your wife!

No one ever double-crossed me.
No one living.

What do you want from me?

I know you have that diamond.
I put it in your pocket myself.

There's nothing in my...

Is this what you want?

All right, here. I don't want it.
Are we friends now?

Wilbur!
Huh?

Stop him, he's a crook!

Hey! Hey, man!

Man! Man!

Man, wait!

Mister, will you wait?

They want...
Mister... You...

Mister man!

Stop him, Wilbur!
He killed a man!

He killed a man?

He won't get away!
I... I got him!

Ooh!

Oh! Oh, water! Wait!

I don't know how to do this!
I can't swim!

Oh!

Oh! Oh, oh!

Hold on, Wilbur! Hold on!

Look out!

Look out! Coming through!

What's going on?

Oh, falling! Falling!

Oh, man!

Easy!

Ooh!

Mommy!

Wait! Wait!

Watch your head, Wilbur!

What?

Whoa! Ooh!

Help! Help me!

Bye!

Help!

Look out!

Ham!

Look out! Look out!
Stay where you are!

Get me out of this.
Wilbur! Wilbur!

Look out!

Go back. Go back!

Now what did you do
this for?

I missed you.
I was lonesome out there.

Well, I didn't miss you,
and I wasn't lonesome.

Will you put me down?
All right.

Bye!

Get up!

Get up!

Oh, don't shoot,
don't shoot!

Stand still!

Stand still!
No shooting me! No shooting!

Save me!

Help me!

Easy, easy, Wilbur.

Easy, Come on, sit down.
Attaboy.

What's new?

Oh, look!

Bombs away!

I got the diamond.
Oh, let's see.

Easy!
Oh, it's beautiful.

Isn't it beautiful?
It's just like...

All aboard!

All aboard!

I wonder where Wilbur is.
I'd sure like to say goodbye.

He was in such a hurry
to start his new job,

he asked me
to say goodbye for him.

Oh, it's hard to get used to the idea of Wilbur being a grown man.

He was such
a sweet little boy.

Fine, but let's not forget
he is a grown man.

All aboard!
I won't forget.

All right.

Thanks for comin' down
to see me off.

Don't you know why girls go to trains to see fellas off?

No, why?
To say goodbye!

All right, give me the works.

Oh, no!
Voila!

Oh, no, no!