Yi wu liang qi (1987) - full transcript

Why do you want me in such a hurry?

When seeing a patient's decayed tooth

I know anything hard

can decay or perish

We may perish too as we grow older

So why don't we

go through life, death

and the bed together?

A boy said this to me

before he left me

Is he a dentist too?



No, he's a script-writer

Hsin

I can't stand anymore shocks

I assure you

I'll be nice to you

I had one marriage flop

I tasted it

when my wife left me

I'm star-crossed

All my admirers are psychologically

and physiologically perverted

Our relationship didn't last

I'm sane in mind, sound of body

Do you really need me?



I can't do without you

Are you sure

no one will separate us?

Yes

I earn a few thousand

from the Dramatic Society

and I have a house from father

If we save up, we can live happily

Give me three years to consider

No, two days

Move tomorrow

For I must pay the rent the day after

Dolly, don't scare me

I'm new here

At worse I'll feed you

Let's be friends

May my late father bless me

with another wife after one leaves me

And with 4 kids in less than three years

Thank you, father

Hsin, time to eat

It's nice to eat at home,
it's crowded outside

What have you cooked?

Your favorite fish head
& chicken a la King

Great

From a cooked food stall?

Yes, I can't cook

Only rice

Not bad

I'll get the chopsticks. Sit down

Still have memorize the lines?

Be flexible

Hsin

What are you doing?

I saw your ex-wife at the entrance

What's she doing?

She's asking for alimony

Nonsense, I sent her a check last month

She said all your checks

had been dishonored

Don't let her get in

Right

Go out to stop her

What about here?

You stop her. I'll take your place

Make a whizzing sound

This is Mt Tunia of Arabia

Many started to climb

but I'm the only survivor

The Wind's coming

The lightning's coming too

It snows

The blizzard's coming

Louder

Blizzard, come here

Louder

Blizzard, come freely

Louder

I'm not afraid

Louder

I'm not afraid

Loudenlouder

Please be louder

Almighty God,
I'm ready to stand the test

Almighty God,
I'm ready to stand the test

Almighty God,
I'm ready to stand the test

What did my wife say?

She wants you to smear honey on your ass

to let the ants have a field day

Maniac

Why is this duck like paste?

Add some tea
and it'll become tea duck in sauce

Can't be so watery

Pour out the juice and simmer.
It's fixed

What a waste

Add some soup and it tastes better

It smells of tea

Add some lotus seed
and it'll become lotus seed te

Add some starch and it tastes better

Bad, I put salt in by mistake

Add some sugar, and it's fixed

Salt and sugar neutralize each other

Add some cane sugar

One, two, enough?

No, no, more, several more

It smells good

Which is most palatable?

Tea duck in sauce, try

My old ex-friend always complained

I can't cook

As of now

I'll try to be 100% feminine

I'll cook nice food for you every day

Why?

Is it hard to stomach?

Very sour?

Sweet?

Hot?

If it tastes bad, spit it out

I've swallowed it

I can't cook.
Do you despise me for that?

Never, crackpot

Why call me a crackpot?

I don't mean it

I bought two sets of cute pajamas

- Let's try
- Okay.

Such ugly pajamas

You never learn

People may laugh at you

Why are you coming back?

You've already deserted me

Please leave me again, I beg you

Get out of here as soon as possible,
I beg you

Hsin, I know you hate me

I must return

I'm in a strait

Let me stay

No, this is your problem, not mine

If you move in

I'll be in trouble

Please go away at once

What are you doing?

We're divorced, but

this house was left to us by Master

The title deed belongs to both of us

What then?

I'll come back to eat

when I'm hungry

I'll come back to live
when I've no lodging

Who's she?

Hui Kang, Pai Chia

Your ex-wife?

Yes, I'm his ex-wife

What does she want?

To come back to live

Live?

This house is ours

You can't come

and go as you like

You know better

Please tell her

about my right to this house

You don't have to greet me

I won't be in your way

I'll come and go by myself
Good night

Sorry

I know I'm ill-fated

When I return,

your wife returns too

I can't help it

This house was left to us by Father

The title deed bears her name too

What if she insists

on selling her share?

What now?

I have an idea

Let's try something tomorrow

Anything can change, and I can change

Formerly I washed the dishes and plates

Now another woman will do it

To prove I'm not so unlucky

I won't let her take away my man

Why are you so sad?

Mrs Hsia

I've divorced Hsin

Sorry

It's a long story

Every woman

wants to settle down

So I value my feeling with Hsin

I'm back to live in what I'm entitled to

I'm unworthy of Hsin

I'll return him to you

I must leave this heart-broken place

and lead a wandering life

I may vanish after reaching
the Heavenly Kingdom s

Do you mind Hsin's defects?

I have more defects

You've shed tears. Drink some tea

My throat sores with crying,
I need honey

This is peanut oil

One so defect-prone
should be killed by mercy

What are you doing?

To kiss you

What are you doing?

Not tonight, Hui Kang's next door

Hush!

What an adulteress

I'm tired

Can't you get up, darling?

I'll get things for you to rinse

Why don't you get up and go to work?

What? Do you miss me?

Only a few hours

Just love me

What?
Love me all your life is not enough?

Don't! It's dawn! Don't...

Hsin, have breakfast

Morning. Out for shopping?

Yes, have breakfast

Did you cook it?

Yes

What are you going to buy?

Rice dumplings for Hsin

Do you buy these for him every morning?

Can't you cook it yourself?

Morning

Have breakfast

Rice dumplings

They are hard

to get

You're great

Take it hot

Never mind, pick it up

You can resist the small germs
Lots of beans

Don't eat, it's dirty
Take this

One need a change

after taking too many delicacies

Next time don't cook so much

Hsin, you've changed much

Dumplings for breakfast,
singing at midnight

I'll go and get ketchup

In fact, Hsin follows me only

He takes anything I take

He sings anything I sing

So you like singing too

This will hurt your vocal cords

No way, I can't control my feelings

You don't know how I feel

I've been his wife

Like Priest Tang In Monkey Goes West

who knows Monkey's magic

I can read Hsin like a book

Don't try to take his side

What were you talking about?

Your strong points

What are they?

How shall I put it?

Your hair is shorter than others'

Bring me tea, crackpot

You're calling her crackpot again?

I'll get it myself

So there are many crackpots

in HK too

What are you doing?

Where's Pai Chia?

I don't know

Enough?

Yes

You're a guest

Let our host do it

Yes, take your time

Be nice
I must change and go to work

Take your time to clear it

Bitch, you can cook but I can't

Just wait & see

Darling, how long have we been married?

I can't remember

You can't, after less than a year

You're heartless

lhave

a poor memory

Darling, prepare me some tonic

Cut

Don't push her so hard

Be gentler, she's your wife

What's wrong? Why are you moping?

Never mind

What are you doing?

ONE MOUNTAIN CANNOT

HIDE TWO TIGERS

One mountain has no room for two tigers

TWO HANDS CANNOT

CATCH FOUR BALLS

What a nut

Stop dreaming

I can't remember our wedding date

due to poor memory

Auntie

Hsin, did you hear me?

When did you return from the USA?

Do I have to serve you notice?

Is Auntie back?

Yes

When did you return?

Let's sit down and talk

- Okay
- Come and sit down

Auntie, got any quarters?

How about living here?

I plan to live with my sister

in the NT

You can get along well here too

Yes

I'm not that stubborn

I won't disturb your married life

You won't

Live here as long as you like

I can't live very long

What's the matter, auntie?

Well, what's it?

I'm here to visit you only

That foreign doctor told me

there's cancer in my stomach

What does that mean?

"Game over"

What?

It's true

Let me show you the Doctor's certificate

No need

Why? Why are you crying?

I'm already advanced in age
I've no worries

I'm delighted to see you

so much in love

Auntie, go in and take a rest

In Los Angeles,

people change their wives like clothes

Auntie's son wants a divorce again

And Great Aunt's granddaughter
cohabits with a for

I couldn't care less
Girls wanna have fun

Auntie

You two

are different

You're a happy married couple

clinging so close to each other

Are you nice to her?
Why is she so skinny now?

Sure

Has she too much household work to do?

That butcher cheated me in weight

I gave him hell

Why is your amah so tough?

No, she's not...

Tell her to go out then

Chm

What's it, master?

She is...

Auntie... Greet Auntie

Auntie

Bring me a cup of tea

Let me do it

No need, I can do that myself

An amah should do this

Auntie, I'll bring you fresh fruit

Hsin, she...

Calm down

I'm mad

Listen,
my auntie's got an incurable disease

She doesn't know I'm divorced

Let's not provoke her

Please play the amah for a day

or 2 till she leaves

A day or two?

Hsin, what took you so long?

For me,
one today's better than 2 tomorrows

Even when buying bananas,
I choose the best

Have you heard that?

She'll go to nunnery in a day or two

Come on, be nice

Only a matter of a day or two

A day or two

Have tea, auntie

Are you Chm'?

Yes, auntie

You should call me madam

Madam

Clean the floor, then do the laundry

I'll do my own laundry

As I said, you're ill-fated

Don't do this. It's for the amah

Bring a pair of slippers for madam

Thank you

Come and pay respects to the ancestors

Let's go out to eat, auntie

No, don't waste money

Let's eat at home

Well, tell Chia to do the cooking

Don't think I can't cook

I'll show you

Kang, why don't you eat?

Don't be so choosey

You're the amah

You shouldn't eat here

Have you got any children?

No, Auntie

Why not,
you've been married a long time?

We're busy

Busy?

We're not too active

Why not?

That's not right

Not right?

Pray to Goddess and the ancestors

Blessed is Goddess
who brings us children

Bless Hsin and Hui Kang

with a child soon

May they have a son before daughters

Drink it

Auntie, do you mean it?

Of course, gulp it

I'll drink it if you don't

It's taboo

Just make believe she didn't drink it

Be nice

Auntie,
since you're going to a nunnery tomorrow

let me sleep with you tonight for a chat

Nonsense, what do you expect?

Sleep with Hsin

I'll sleep with the amah

What are you doing?

Don't move

Can't I watch televsion?

Yes

Don't watch it

Lower the volume

Open the door

What's it?

Have you kissed? Have you kissed?

No

Have you ever done it?

Of course

Several years earlier than you

Don't be cocky, he's my husband

Am I back to fight with you?

You promised to live here only

What are you doing?

WW QOWK you go away now'?

Young people are unreliable

Taxi

Hsin

What?

In fact, I knew your divorce

before I came

Now I want to see if there's any remedy

How do you know it, Auntie?

It's a small world

You see things

when you open your eyes

Even if you don't, you can hear

Our traditional blind marriage
is like water

which heats up
with the nurture of feelings

Before you got married,
the water was boiling

So it cools down easily

But you can kindle up

to boil it again

Auntie, the kettle leaks

I don't care
which of you is right or wrong

Bye-bye

What are you doing?
One mountain cannot hide two tigers?

Why has this kettle no switch?

What has it to do with you?

It has nothing to do with me

Crazy

Pai Chia, Pai Chia

You're back

Pai Chia is out

You're not going out?

No

Off from work?

Yes

Painting?

Yes

Buying food?

Have fried beancurd

Thank you

This crayon box is old

No, I found it from the drawer

You can't get a new one outside

so you use

the old one at home

I don't want to take the trouble

Recently there have been
many new things at home

The new ones replace the old

When there's no apple, eat a banana

You're greedy

I'm not like your crayon box

You mislaid it and it gets dry

And you add some water

and use it again

You're talking in circles
I don't understand it

Forget it

You don't make good money from cartoons

Be realistic,

ketch portraits and

you can make $20-30 in the street

Had I done that,

we wouldn't have separated

Back?

Have fried beancurd

No more, finished

Still half a piece here
Takeit

No, it's no good

to share things 50-50

Never mind

I'll go and buy some more

Here you are, hot and fresh

One each. Don't fight

We're not fighting

Come on

Why doesn't mine smell so strong?

Impossible

They smell all the same

Stop kidding

Hers is preserved beancurd

It makes no difference

No, preserved beancurd tastes better

Fried beancurd's
no good after getting cold

Sorry, the beancurd stall has closed

Well, let's go to see a show

After that,
we'll go and take some preserved food

Only preserved food

Okay?

Come on

Sorry, no seats. Mind to join?

Please be seated

What will you have?

What a coincidence

Yes, what a coincidence

Take my order, please

One chicken drumstick, one goose leg

Stewed chicken with abalone,
steamed fish

Rice with pickled meats

Excuse me. Double legs

Take it yourself

Hui Kang, let's talk it over

Where's my money? Give it back to me

You made me open a shop, place orders

and borrow from
a Finance Company in my own name

Now I'm broke and pressed by creditors

What are you doing?

Don't!

Not your business. Go away

Repay me, repay me

Please don't

Let's go

Don't go, repay me

Are you looking for an Arts Assistant?

The vacancy has been filled?

Thank you

Who are you looking for?

Excuse me, I want to see Miss Huang

I'm here. For stud service?

Yes, my last name is Lu

Stud service?

My bitch Lucy is shy

Your dog's tough

No problem, my dog is nice

Mr Lu, $500, please

Not after the deal's closed?

Give me your Lucy

I brought him up

He's 50% mine

Poor Dolly

Normally you only guard the house

Now you're selling yourself

No way, when things are hard for you

Poverty's a disgrace,
but not prostitution

I must go to the market now
Excuse me

$30

Thank you

Miss, we had much trouble finding you

Miss, stop that

Gentlemen

I really didn't commit anything

Sorry, we're only employees
We can't decide

Please beg mercy from my boss

Say that to the judge

You've already sold

everything I own

You're the guarantor,
you must be responsible

When you borrowed the money

you promised to
take all legal responsiblity

I didn't

Well

Tell me your address and phone number

Thank you, miss

Tell me, or you'll be in trouble

I have no money,

no telephone, no shop

no lodging

and no nothing

I have no quarters, no warmth

no kin, no husband

I really am broke

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

Cry, cry your heart out

Why? I've already done my best

I've been conned out

of everything

You still have me

They were mine,

but not now

You left me,

I didn't leave you

I adore you

Let's really separate

Don't cherish any more illusion

I only want something to cling to

Make it for me

Stay out of a woman's business

I understand your plight

Cry by clinging to me
when you're depressed

Don't cling to my husband

If you cling to him

I may cry too

You're also female,
you should understand

I feel badly

Don't cry

Don't cry

Don't cry

I'll introduce a man to your wife

What?

We can't go on like this

First, she can settle down

Second, we can live in peace. Okay?

I don't mind

Are you sure?

Li Tzu-ming, already married

Huang Chin-fu, emigrated

Ho Ta-fa, dead

Yang Lao-chuan, Yang Lao-chuan

Who's he?

My former tenant

What does he do?

A painter

A painter for my wife?

Is she still your wife?

No, but I have many friends

Let me introduce him one

This is Mr Chen

How do you do?

This is Hui Kang

Pai Chia, is the meal ready?

Yes

Hsin, come here

Why?

This man for her?

You can't make it

You turned down two others,
saying one's ugly

and the other's poor

This one's rich

I know what's on your mind

Luckily, I've brought my friend

Who's he?

It's none of your business

Please sit down, Mr Chen

A stack of money here,

a stack of credit cards there

He's enterprising

Yes, I am

He commands high respect

Yes,
do

George

What do you say?

Come in and sit down

Okay

This is Hui Kang

He's Hsin

This is Mr Chen

This is Geroge

How do you do?

Is it the vogue
to apply suntan at night?

Bad, my amah has mislaid my money

George is an ex-Mr Hong Kong

He specializes in shooting and swimming

He has lots of muscles

His back muscles

are like Mitsubishi's logo

He's highbrow as the Chairman

of the Gold & Silver Association

You mean me? I'm highbrow

Time to eat

Take it out

It's incovenient to eat with it

George, please stop

Your muscles are dazzling

Please get rice

Excuse me

Where did you find him?

How do you know
so much about his muscles?

Even his back muscles

Are they all the same color?

He used to be my gym teacher

I thought Hui Kang liked his type

I'm more prudent than you

He wanted to undress

to show off his muscles

That midget offered to unzip to show

the $1,000 notes inside his panties

Thank you very much indeed

What are you doing?

Dramatic Society wants me to play

the Tiger Killer

I'm rehearsing for it
They pay $500 a day

You as the Tiger Killer?

No, I play the Tiger

Who'll play the Killer?

Hua, who has been away
in Canada for years

Hua?

So you want me to watch
that nut rehearse?

I'm free

at home anyway

"It's nightfall at the hillside"

"The wine helps pluck up my courage"

"Even a tiger's lair means nothing to me"

"| come to the Mountain with shaky steps"

No gourd

"Good wine, good wine"

SIOP

It's rehearsal, be serious

Hua, come here

Crouch down

Ride over him and strike him 3 times

Then you die, understand?

Die only after three strokes?

Make one extra kick then

It's seven years in a twinkle

You know life's boring over there

I learnt Cantonese drama at my leisure

You haven't changed much

Havel?

You, too

You still like Chrysanthemum tea

I have no soup to drink, I need it

Poor thing

I forgot to introduce to you Hui Kang

Just call me Hua

I'm Hsu An-hua

Mr Hsu

You've got acquainted now

Yes. Let's go and have dinner

Okay

Hua, you're better-looking than before

Hui Kang, have you discovered that?

I've only made his acquaintance just now

Yes

You hold a senior post
at an advertising agency?

So-so

You're tall - 6 feet 2 inches?

No

No? More or less

You're burly. He's burly

Not as burly as
that man of chest muscles

Chest muscles?

Your teeth are white, very white

Your teeth are yellow
Don't talk so much

What else do you like besides painting?

Art work for advertising

Formerly I worked in a small company

She quitted after getting married

So you're married

They're divorced
So she's looking for work

Your husband must be presentable

Me? Thank you

He's her ex-husband
I'm his present wife

We're now friends
Funny, isn't it?

Not at all

This is now

the vogue

We have a staff party tomorrow night

If you're free, bring your work

and talk with

our Art Director

Thank you

Cheers

What are you doing?

Why are you smoking so much?

You're polluting the air

What shall I wear?

Choose for me

Corning

Which one?

This is not bad

He's coming

Hurry up!

How do you do?

Come in, I'll bring Hui Kang out

Okay

Sit down

Not going out?

Nonsense

Sit down. You must wait a long time

Never mind,
you must have patience with girls

It's old

Never mind. Can you play? Show me

It's easy

I've played for three years

I only played three times

What's there to see?

This fixes it

You take an interest in old things

And you like wearing old shoes

Mr Hsu, we may leave

You're beautiful

We may leave

Bye-bye

Have a good time

Hsin, what do you want for food tonight?

Adulterers

What?

Fried beancurd

I'll go and buy beancurd

I'll go and buy beancurd

Still not back at this hour

No kissing

Sorry, sorry

Adulterers

Come out, come out

What are you doing?

Taking a walk

Show me your identity card

I didn't bring it along

Show me anything to prove your identity

I have a mole in my buttocks

Damn, come with me to the police

Get going

Thank you, Mr Wang

Don't do it next time
The police are tough

Thank you

All your diesel oil has leaked out

Brat, why don't you go to school?

Where are you going?

Brat

Running away? Hiding?

You can't hide. Come out

Why are you using violence?

You can't scare me with an adult voice

Come out, come out

Brat

Don't hide, come out

Outrageous

Come out, brat, come out

Are you coming out, brat?

Don't, bitch!

Is he your own son?

Sorry, sorry

Come out quick, brat

Isn't it fun?

Tell me a joke

Come on

Ever heard of a yellow dog pissing?

Formerly the dogs walked this way

and did it

the same way as we do

One day,

a dog pissed before a lamp post

It fell, hurting his back

Since then,
they've been walking this way

Thereafter, they take particular care

when pissing before the post

Hsin, where have you been?

I went out to have morning tea

I was worried about you

Don't worry

Let's sit down for breakfast

Not you, Mr Hsu

Me?

You've taken my place

Sorry

Hsin, I should've called back last night

but I played at the Disco till dawn

and Mr Hsu escorted me back

Are you angry?

No, why should I?

Mr Hsu, this is my cup

Sorry

I've just drunk your coffee

Mr Hsu, you came to my home and

took my wife out till dawn

Now you've taken my place

used my cup, drunk my coffee

and fooled around with my 2 women

We're only acquaintances

Never mind, we'll get along

Anyway, we're brothers

Brothers?

What?

You went out with my wife

and you call me brother

What do you mean?

Calm down. I'm a guest

What guest? You call yourself a guest?

You should call your parents

Uncle & Auntie

if you called yourself a guest

Hsin, what are you doing?

Sorry, I drank too much tea

I'm a bit insane

Just forget

what I've said

Eat

Mr Hsu has a villa on Lantau Island

and wants us to join him there. Okay?

What do you say?

Yes?

Yes

Well, I'll go to play in his house

See how long we can stay

Here it is. Go up

Come up

Come in and be seated

Not bad

How many rooms?

Two, one here and one upstairs

Not bad

Let's play a schoolchildren game

Boys sleep with boys

and girls with girls

The one with a cleaner bed tomorrow

will get an egg

Let's return to our rooms

Frankly, I'm not used to sharing a bed

Are you sure?

So much the better

Hsin, I want to have a word with you

What's it?

I want no game

I want to sleep with you

To avoid dirtying his room

Hell with you

You sleep here

I'll arrange for them

Modern men are sinking in morals

Keep your door locked

to win back the reputation

for chaste Chinese females

Why? You must enjoy yourself on vacation

It's no fun to be conservative

I don't object to your making friends

but don't go too far

Hsin

You know my relationship with you

Never mind me

I know I have no status

but I valued you all these years

and hope others will value you too

The difference hangs only by a thread

I'll keep my door locked, okay?

Yes, he's rather imprudent

If he tries to open your door,

laugh once

If he opens your door, laugh twice

If he tries to get close to you,

keep laughing

Then I'll come to your rescue

Okay?

No

I want to laugh freely

Easy, anyone can play tennis

Look

I don't play well

Maybe let's play doubles

Men against girls. Okay?

Yes

Sorry, I really can't play

Never mind

I really can't play

It really doesn't matter

Okay

You play in front, I play behind

Okay

I serve

I've never played before

Sorry

Never mind, it's alright

You serve

Serve

Sorry, sorry

Does it hurt?

I can't play. Again

Sorry, I really can't play

Never mind. You prefer to play in front

You in front, I behind

I'd better play behind

and you in front

Sorry

Are you doing it for fun?

Sorry, I really can't play

I can't play

I can't play either

Let's quit then

Seafood sauce

Thank you

Live oysters!

Don't you like them?

They must be costly

Never mind, to promote our friendship

Why take these oysters

at midnight?

For tonics

Hui Kang's sort of my wife

I can't control myself anymore

Neither can I.
Last night you jeered at me

This morning the car
ran out of gas for nothing

And you made a mess playing tennis

Are you taking me for a nut?

Anyone trying to take away

a friend's wife is cursed

Nonsense

You've already divorced Hui Kang

That concerns us both only

It has nothing to do with you

Well, I'll woo Pai Chia

No, you can't woo

either of them

I can't woo either of them

You expect me to woo Seven Eleven?

I'm also a man, I know how you feel

Be nice to Pai Chia

I'll help you fix Hui Kang

What do you mean?

What?

We'd better

take the oysters now

Well, take them out and eat

Good

Hold it

Bastard

What's your ambition

besides being a painter?

To be an independent female

Great, take this

Lemon juice

Pai Chia, want some?

Yes, thank you

This is particularly nourishing

Get drunk

and you can't do anything

Let's play a game

and drink

After getting drunk,
we can sleep till dawn

Okay, come on

15, 20

Come on

5,10

Stop moving

Drink

What about a singing game?

Singing game?
Come on, see who gets drunk first

Come on

Let me drink

Sorry for the trouble
my ex-husband gave you

Never mind, I know how he feels

No, I'm not drunk, I'm a good singer

Open the door

Hui Kang, open up

You get up early
Have a cup of coffee

Have bread

Where are they?

Out shopping

You drank me last night

Why were you so careless?

What did you do last night?

What's so special?
Beware you may be served

You took advantage of my wife
and I play a tiger

Why should I play a tiger
to be beaten by you?

Why should I play a tiger
to be beaten by you?

The villagers said a tiger appeared

but on my way back,

it was all quiet

- Let me
- Where's Hsin?

- Take a rest
- He must perform. Find him

Where have you been?

Hurry up!

What are you doing?

Get going

The beast really is fierce

Let me use my fists

to strike him to mince

Stop playing

What's wrong?

He feigns death

Die now

Be dead quickly

I won't die

Be flexible

He won't die

Let me think of something

He really has got the nerve

Die, beast,

or I'll chop you to death

You must die, die quickly

Don't think your sword's special

Beat the drum

How strange, a tiger in human form

Must be a monster

I'll chop you to death

Chop me to death? Never!

You're damned

to have taken away my wife

You're a beast,

you're despicable

For the sake of money,
you become a gigolo

You sponge on others

You walk awkwardly
and sit with an ugly poise

Heaven forgives you, but I don't

I'll tear you to pieces

and boil you

I'll chop you to death

Don't act up like a dictator

Don't block the shuttle flight

Let me chop

open your head

To avoid contagion

May you be cursed with AIDS and piles

Let me make your nose my target

You idiot

Get a rolling machine to crush your toes

Get a fatty to sit over you

You idiot

May you become a scalp
to be scratched by women

May you become a freak in a next life

You idiot

May you be molested by your gay friends

And die

an unexpected death

What are you doing?

"You're fickle and unbridled"

"but I fall for you with a foolish heart"

"Who will pity my poor heart?"

"My tears dry out because of you"

"| love you, whatever your heart is"

"Nothing can control my hollowness"

"I'm ready to weep for you"

"and to let love fill my hollowness"

"|'m hollow and I can't fill it"

"| know I need you always"

"I'm half intoxicated by sweet feelings"

"and hope thunder will crush my sorrow"

"| can't hesitate any more"

"Let me fall for you once again"

They've left one after another

I'm hungry. Got something to eat,
crackpot?

I won't cook

for you any longer

What do you mean?

Are you leaving?

You wanted a divorce
in the first instance

When I got another girl,

you moved in

and threw her out

Now you're leaving me yourself

I left you because
we have nothing in common

I came back because
I couldn't make a living

I leave now

because I've found a good job

and a good boyfriend

Don't

Don%|eave

Don%|eave

Why not?

I'll rape you if you insist

What are you thinking?

Don't do anything foolish

Shut up!

I'll rape you too

Come on, do it!

So what? So what?

I'll do it. Come here!

What? I'll do it to you and your dad

I'll do it to your morn

I'll do it to your grandma

I'll do it to your great grandma

I'll do it to your great gramdma
and great grandpa

I'll do it to any member

of your family

I'll do...

Quiet! You never grow up

Hsin

I sympathize with you,

but please stop loving me

I don't love you

I'm jealous

Men are jealous

and women are narrow-minded

Men are jealous

I used to

hold her in bed

She kissed me

and I kissed her

Ask him, is he angry over that?

Are you angry?

No

So what?

In fact, I miss Pai Chia

Help me bring her back

Thank you

Calm down

Calm down please

I'm quite cool

Forget what I've said

Pai Chia

Are you crying?

I'm overjoyed

I must read those books I haven't read

And I must

redecorate the house

Are you alright?

Yes, I've fallen down

many times

I'm used

to it

Hsin's here. He's outside

Darling, cool down, darling

What do you take me for?

The sun

The sun, that brings warmth to mankind

No, fried food in a food stall

Anyone can take it

A tooth-brush for the use of everyday

A tooth-brush can't be shared

Good, you're taking me for a tooth-brush

I'm a new brush
What about the old one?

Use it to shine the shoes

Why not use it
to brush another set of teeth?

Unhygienic

Unhygienic?!

For you or for others?

Darling

Any man can be jealous

If you see it,

you would say

Friend, I've used this tooth-brush

This will happen, darling

Why don't you use the old

and new ones alternatively on weekdays

and share them on Sunday

This has never

crossed my mind

I got a new one only
because the old one doesn't fit me

Would you do

the same to me?

I use only one tooth-brush all my life

I swear when I get old

I'll treat

my denture well

An old wife is more lovely

Darling, calm down

Thanks for the trouble

Why cry?

One lives only once

Already the second time

Cheer up, or people may misunderstand

You're nice, but we don't fit

Thank you

I should thank you

Don't mention it

Thank you

Would you be jealous
when we become friends?

No, men are narrow-minded

Man, be nice to her

Of course, I mustn't provoke you

I won't be mad, I won't be mad

I won't, I won't