Yelling Fire in an Empty Theater (2022) - full transcript

[Plane flying overhead]

That's an interesting doodle
you got there.

-Sorry?

-That's interesting.

-Oh.

Yeah. I have a fear of flying.

-It's funny.

I mean it's wildly
inappropriate but...

It's funny.

-Thanks.

-Did you have a nice vacation?



A nice vacation?

-Oh. I'm from Florida.

-Oh.

I don't know why I assumed that
plane was full of snowbirds.

-Well...

Actually, I don't live
there anymore.

-Oh.

-I'm moving to New York.

Right now.

From Florida. This is my move.

-Congratulations.

-Thank you!

-Here.

Take it.



I don't know what you think

New York is going to be like.

But

I have to tell you,

it won't be.

AIRPORT PA: Welcome to
Terminal 8

at John F Kennedy
International Airport.

For ground transportation
information

and reservations go to ground
transportation center...

♪ Packin' up ♪

♪ Where you been? ♪

♪ Pack it up
And get movin' ♪

♪ 'Cause you will never really
want me 'til you're gone ♪

♪ Until you're gone ♪

♪ I'm left behind ♪

♪ I'm left behind
I'm left behind ♪

♪ Because I always get
what I want ♪

♪ Even if you don't stay ♪

♪ And I always miss one of us ♪

♪ But not every day ♪

♪ Packin' up ♪

♪ Sort your things ♪

♪ Stacking boxes only
brings you ♪

♪ That much closer to the one
that's on your mind ♪

♪ Because I always get
what I want ♪

♪ Even if you don't stay ♪

♪ And I always miss one of us ♪

♪ But not every day ♪

LISA: Thank you!

HOLLY: Welcome!

-Hi!

-Hi!

Look at all your stuff.

Oh, sorry.
I'm so gross right now.

-Oh no.
You're fine.

-Wait. But we're like,
overall twins.

-Oh yeah.

-Wait. This is like a sign.

This is perfect.

Okay. Come on.
Bring your stuff in.

HOLLY: This is the front room.

And I know it's kind of plain
right now.

But we're thinking of
transforming it into some kind

of parlor situation.

Like a salon.

And then, over here,

I don't want to get a
pool table

but I want to do something that
evokes the same kind of

homeliness.

Yeah.

Do they let you build your own
fireplaces in New York?

-Are you asking me?

-Alexa! Remind me to look up
fireplace laws.

Oh, you know what?

Bill must have unplugged it.

He's so afraid of that thing.
It's kind of cute.

-Oh. You have a dog!

-I do!
Yeah. That's Frida.

But don't touch her!

We didn't get her
flea shots this year.

So...

-Yeah.

Let's keep going!

HOLLY: The bathroom. Obviously.

I painted it pink last year.

And it was yellow the year
before that.

But now I'm thinking some kind
of nautical blue.

And then I want to do
a mural on the back to match.

Like a whale.

You've read Moby Dick?

-Uh no.
Have you?

-Uh no.
But I've seen the movie.

-Oh. I didn't realize
they made a Moby Dick movie.

-Yeah. Or no.
That was Jaws.

Yeah. They made Jaws movie.

Have you seen Jaws?

-Oh yeah. Totally.
So good, right?

-Yeah. It's alright.

Voila.

[coughs]

-I know I said I would have it
painted

by the time you got here

but I just finished
the last wall

so we're good!

-Okay. Cool.

Thanks.

-You're welcome.

Oh. Sorry, don't
lean on the wall.

-Okay.
-It's still wet.

-Oh, this wall too?

-Yeah. And that wall.

And that wall. And that wall.
Yeah.

-So all the walls?

-Yeah. Just about.

But don't worry. The paint's
going to dry really soon.

Like, by tonight, for sure.

It's really good paint.

It's really good paint.

I'll let you get settled.

Oh, sorry. Don't open
the window.

Because the paint
won't dry.

But I'll leave this door open.
So you don't suffocate.

Seriously.

Where are you off to?

-Oh, I'm just going to
get a quick bite.

-Is it on top of a
mountain?

-What?

-Oh!

No, I just didn't have enough
space in my bag

for another coat.

-Oh baby.
You can't wear this.

You can stay and eat
with me and Bill.

It'll be fun.

-Oh no, I don't want to impose.

-You live here now.

And I want to feed you!

I want you to stay.
I'm inviting you to eat with us.

-Okay. Okay.
That's a good point.

-No, it's a fantastic point.

How old are you anyway?

-21.

-Fuck me!

Wow!

Ah, awesome.
That's awesome for you.

-How old are you?

BILL: Babe, babe, babe!

HOLLY: Hi!

-Hey, what's up? I'm Bill.

LISA: Hi.

HOLLY: Don't you know
who this is?

-No, can't say I do.

LISA: I'm Lisa!

-It's Lisa.

-Lisa, cool.

-She's our new roommate.

-Um, what?

-What?

-No. Doug's going to be our
new roommate.

-No, he's not. Lisa is.

Our mom's are friends.

I told you this.

-Actually, no.
No, you didn't tell me.

This.

-Yeah, I did.
Or I thought I...

-Doug's coming next week.

He's been looking forward to
this for months.

-Okay, well, I'm sorry.

Lisa's here so she's our
new roommate.

-What the fuck, babe? Why are
you always pulling this shit?

-I'm not pulling anything.

-Yeah, you are.

This. This, this is pulling.

-Okay, well now you're
scaring her.

-I'm not scaring her.
Am I scaring you?

-No!

-See. You just don't like Doug.

That's what this is
about, right?

-No.

But, let me just say, unrelated,

I don't like Doug.

-At least he's not a stranger.

-Our mom's are friends!

-I'm not a murderer or anything.

-Great. She's not a murderer.

I guess it's all good then.

Uh, I was having such
a good day.

Like a really fantastic day,
actually. And now...

HOLLY: I'm sorry.

BILL: Can we just eat something?

I'm starving.

-Yeah, I can make you something.

LISA: I'm just going to go get a
slice of pizza or something.

-No. No, you're going to stay
here and eat with me and Bill.

BILL: Oh, Holly, no.

LISA: Thank you so much.

It's okay, it's totally fine.

BILL: I didn't get enough food.
I only have spaghetti.

LISA: I've never had New York
pizza so I don't really mind--

HOLLY: Oh my god! Shut up!

Fuck! Shut up!

We'll eat dinner here, together.

Okay?

Fuck.

BILL: I have no idea what
I'm going to tell Doug.

HOLLY: Tell him the truth.

And also that he's a scumbag.

BILL: It was going to be a lot
of fun living with him too.

I mean, I'm really excited to
live with you too, Leslie.

HOLLY: It's Lisa.

BILL: Lisa, yeah.

So you have a job lined up?

-Bill!

-What?
-You're being so fucking rude.

HOLLY: Negativity that invades
Lisa's sacred space.

I banish you with the light
of my grace.

You have no hold
or power here.

And I stand and face you
with no fear.

Be gone forever. For this,
I will say.

This is Lisa's sacred space.
And you will obey.

[Chuckles]

[Heavy breathing]

[Coughing]

[City sounds]

ERIC: I know your mom said that
these people were eccentric

but I think that's, like,
next level.

You could end up as one of
those roommate murder stories.

-That's not a thing.

-It is a thing. I mean, there's
a whole podcast about it.

-No, I just don't think they're
the murdering type, anyway.

-Maybe not. But there is one
thing you could do though

just to be safe.

-What?

-Kill them first.

-I can't wait until your
lease is up.

-Samesies.

-I'm really happy you're here.

-Double samesies.

-Does your mom know we're
going to be living together?

-She doesn't even know about my
Feel The Bern tattoo.

So that's a hard no.

Do you have a job, yet?

-Also a hard no.

-Yeah, that's something you're
probably going to want to

get soon.

Seeing as you're, like, an
adult now and all.

What's your plan exactly?

-I don't have a plan.
Which is my plan.

-You should temp.
That's what you should do.

That's why I did my first year.
They basically just pay you

the whole time to play phone
games in the bathroom.

It's awesome.

-Yeah but that just feels like a
waste of time.

-Did I mention they pay you?

-How many times have you
come to this park?

-I mean...

Guess the last time was, like,
a year ago.

-I'm going to come here
all the time.

-You think?

-Yeah.

[Muffled laughing]

BILL: No way! Fuck you.

HOLLY: It's the truth!

-You are, you're
so full of shit.

-I swear to God,
I hooked up with James Franco.

-No you didn't.

-I didn't fuck him.

We just did, like, mouth stuff.

-When did this happen?

-I don't know, like,
three years ago.

-And you're just telling me now?

-You're not jealous, are you?

Oh my God, babe.
Are you actually upset?

Come on.
It's James Franco!

What do you expect
me to do?

-We were dating three years ago.

Are you fucking kidding--
-Barely!

HOLLY: I shouldn't
have told you.

-No, you shouldn't have
fucked him is what you--

-I said, I didn't--

[Glass shatters]

HOLLY: Oh fuck! Fuck!

-Goddammit!

You're such a fucking clumsy
drunk sometimes.

-Shut up!

-Should we just clean it up
or what, like...

-We'll just do it tomorrow.

-I mean, it's right outside
Lisa's door.

-We'll be up before her.
Don't worry.

-Yeah, that's a good point.

[Footsteps leaving]

[Guitar interlude]

[Sweeping glass pieces]

[Guitar strumming]

LISA: Oh fuck!

Sorry. I didn't realize
there was a door there.

Okay.

I'm going to head to my room.

[City sounds]

HOLLY: Give me some.

BILL: I'm cutting you off.

-But you've had so much
more than me.

-Yeah, because I don't get
paranoid, babe.

-Whatever.

Lisa!

Lisa, come here!

Come sit.

Where were you?

-Times Square.

-Don't you love it there?

-Yeah.

-Oh, do you want
any weed?

-Oh no. No thank you.

-Suit yourself.

Oh, Bill was really worried
about you earlier.

-No I wasn't.

-Yeah, you were.

-What are you talking about?

-You were like "where's Lisa?"
"Should we text her?"

"When's she coming home?"

-I never said that.

-Yeah, you did.

LISA: Were you worried about me?

-Don't listen to her.
She's stoned out of her mind.

HOLLY: Okay, don't
be embarrassed.

It shows that you care
about Lisa.

-I don't care about...

I mean, I care.

But I'm not like...

LISA: Oh my God, you like me.

HOLLY: Ooh yeah. You have a
little crush on Lisa.

BILL: What the fuck?

Where is this coming from?

-Oh my gosh, you like me.

Awww.

Oh my God.
You like me.

HOLLY: You're the one who
has the crush.

-What the fuck are you
talking about?

HOLLY: Okay, now
you're getting weird.

-I'm not getting weird.

I think I just need to
go to bed.

I'm stoned.

Maybe I'm being weird.

I don't know.
I'm going to go to bed though.

HOLLY: Okay.

So... you guys have fun.

-Okay.

Party pooper.

-Yeah, love you too.

-Alexa, play music.

-I think Bill unplugged it.

-He's the one who's paranoid.

[Door buzzer]

BILL: Is somebody here?

-Oh, it's just my boyfriend.

Hi!
-Hey!

ERIC: This is, like,
deep Brooklyn.

-Hey, what's up?

I'm Bill.

-Eric. Nice to meet you.

Hi.

-She doesn't like strangers.

You're Lisa's boyfriend? Or...

-Yep. Yep.
We're dating.

-Yeah, she just never mentioned
you before so I

wanted to check.

-That's funny.

Yeah, no, we've been
dating for...

well, we met in
anthropology class.

-You in Manhattan? Or...

-Uh, yeah. Yeah.
I'm in the...

Upper... Upper East Side.

-Oh nice.

-It's expensive up there.

-It's getting more
affordable actually.

It's getting more
affordable, I think.

-Well thanks for...

It was nice to meet you, man.
-Nice to meet you.

BILL: I got to work
on some music but,

yeah, let me know if I'm
bothering you or...

if it's too loud.

Yeah, so let me know
if you need anything.

-Alright. Thanks man.

Alright. We'll see ya.

-You guys enjoy yourselves.

-Oh, we will.

Where am I going?

This one.

-Oh. Sad.

-What?

-Sorry.

You're supposed to tell me
that guy's not a murderer?

-Yeah. He's gotten a lot better
since day one.

-And you don't talk about me?

-Sorry.

He just stopped calling me
"that girl in Doug's room."

[Guitar strumming]
-Is that him?

-Yeah, I think he's
in a band or something.

He's always practicing.

-Doesn't he have a job?

At least he sounds good.

-Yeah.

♪ I'm saving all my
love for you ♪

♪ Honey, when you
get back home ♪

♪ I'll do anything that you
ask me to do ♪

♪ Honey, when you
come back home ♪

♪ You know, I never
have no money ♪

♪ I never drove
no fancy cars ♪

♪ All I got's a sweet thing ♪

♪ To hold in my arms ♪

Air mattress sex is weird.

-Yeah.

-Hey, is it okay if I
smoke in here?

-If it's weed, it's fine.

But if it's cigarettes, you
got to smoke it out the window.

-But I don't want to go to the
window.

-Guess you got to
start smoking weed, then.

-You know, if you were
a real New Yorker,

you'd just start chain-smoking
like the rest of us.

-Nice try.

-Think about it.

-I can't wait until we have our
own place.

Just the two of us.

It's going to be so nice.

-Look, problem solved.

-Hey, you wanna
hang out tomorrow?

We could go ice skating
and exploring.

-Um...

Tomorrow's not really good
for me. But...

I don't know.
Maybe...

-Maybe Wednesday?

Well, I got work Wednesday.

It's actually--

It's a pretty busy week.

Yeah.

-Okay.

-Kind of a busy month.

We'll find some time though.

-Well, at least we have today.

-Yeah.

-Just do nothing.

-Yeah.
-Just exist.

-Yeah.

Yeah.

[Phone buzzing]

Uh oh.

That's a negativo, kiddo.
I'm sorry.

Someone's got to cover for
Nathan at work.

-Wait!

Can we hang out when
you're done?

-Maybe.

Probably not.

I'll text you.
How's that?

-Okay.

-Okay. Um...

This was fun.

I love you. Okay.

-Bye!

-Bye.

-Okay.

Hi!

I'm Lisa.
I'm the new temp.

-Excuse me?

I'm from Robert Hall
Temp Agency.

-Oh I'm sorry.

We're not interested, actually.
But thank you so much.

-No.

I'm here to work.
You guys hired me.

I'm the temp.

-Oh.

-You were expecting me,
right?

-You said you're a temp?

-Yeah.

-What is that?

-What's a temp?

-Oh, you said temp.

Oh.

I thought you said "tent."

And I was like,
"what the heck?"

I know what a temp is.

You can sit over there for now.

If you want.

And...

Oh wait.
Actually, you're a...

You're probably
the receptionist.

So you would sit here.
And I'll sit over there.

Is how it should go.

-Okay.

-Where do you go to school?

-I went to Florida State
University.

But I already graduated.

Oh, so you're like a
real adult then.

-Yeah.

Are you like...

-I go to New York University,
NYU, down the way.

And...

My uncle actually owns
this place.

And he gave me like a little
part-time gig here.

So I'm just kind of riding
that out.

I'm going to go on a smoke
break.

Do you want to come?

Do you need...

-Yeah.

Thank you.

Oh do you need a light too?

-Yes please.

-It has to be in your mouth.

You have to suck it in
while I'm lighting it.

-Okay. Okay.

-You need to suck.

-I'm sucking.
-You have to try to suck it in.

There you go.
Nice. Good job.

-Kind of tingles your nose.

[Coughs]

This feels right.

-That can't be true.

It looks incredibly
awkward.

-No, I'm a smoker now.

-Whatever you say, lady.

For sure.

[Chuckles]

HOLLY: We don't need
any of those.

-No. Why do they sell
them so green?

I wonder why they put them
in plastic bags.

-Do you like Bill?

-Yeah. He's cool.

-Yeah. Yeah, he's cool.

Right?
Yeah.

I'm sorry.

He can just be off-putting to
a lot of my female friends.

And he's kind of
like a dog in that way.

He's in a really cool band.

He's a guitarist.

His band Sleepy Eyes
is, like, amazing.

You'd love them.

-I'd love to learn
how to play the guitar.

-Oh, you should have
him teach you.

-Oh no. I don't want
to take up his time.

-Okay.

-I mean, unless he wanted to.

-You know, I write songs too.

-Really?

-I was a creative writing major
at Bard.

And I've actually written a
couple of songs to give to Bill.

But, like, he, like, doesn't
take it seriously.

And then when I play it for him,
he just tells me it's bad.

And it's like, it's my art.

Like who gives a shit.

-I draw!

-What?

-That's like, my thing.

I like to draw cartoons and

and comics and stuff.

-Yeah, I know.

You're really talented.

You leave your door
open so I

see it all.

-It's just...

I thought we were talking about
our artistic endeavors.

Wait. Sorry.

You think I'm talented?

-It doesn't matter what I think.

-Oh.

-No. It really doesn't matter
what I think.

Seriously.

If it feels good
then just do it.

Okay?

Do it until you fucking die.

And they have to unclench
the pen from your lifeless fist.

Trust me.

And the money will come later.
It always does.

And follow your heart.

Or whatever.

God, these avocados are all
so fucking hard.

Why are they always hard?

Why is life so fucking
difficult sometimes?

-This one's good.

LISA: You sure you don't want
another slice?

-Thank you. No no no.
I already had one.

I'm okay.

Thank you.

What's your name again?

-Sorry, what?

-What is your name?

-Oh, Lisa.

I forgot.
I'm really bad with names.

-No, it's okay. Lisa.
-She just moved here.

JOEL: Okay. No, I'm not the one
you got to worry about.

ROB: It's really dry.
It's really... too dry.

-It's just not dirty enough
for you?

-It's not dirty.
I want it dirty.

-How long have you actually
been here?

-Almost two months now.

-Okay.
So you like the cold?

-Oh, I love it.
So much better than Florida.

-Yeah. I can imagine.

-Why?

-Nicole, this lasagna's amazing.

-Thank you. I mean, I can't
believe it's just vegan cheese.

-This is vegan?

-Yeah.

HOLLY: This is a vegan dinner.

LISA: Oh!

Okay. Cool.

-So why isn't Cindy here?

-So what do you guys
do for fun around here?

-Oh, uh, what do you mean?

-Like, what do you do in
your free time?

I'm just trying to find some
fun New York things to do.

-There's a shuffle board place
down the street.

-I mean, we do this.
Vegan dinners, right?

-Right. But you could
do that anywhere.

Like, what are some

really New York specific
kind of things?

-I don't... like what?

-Bridges...

-I don't know.

I guess that's why I'm asking.

-Well, I usually just write.

It's kind of what I do.

I've actually got my third novel
almost ready to be published.

-Wow!

-I already have two
already published.

You know, under my belt.

So I'm very excited.
-That's so cool.

Like, can I ask what
they're about?

-It's a YA novel.
With vampires.

-Oh!

-Hey, hasn't that
already been done before?

-I mean, I had this idea
way before Twilight.

LISA: You know,

I can't imagine having published
one book.

Let alone three!
So...

ROB: They're so good,
by the way.

ESTHER: I mean, self-published.
But...

-They're self-published.

-Published is published.

So, Joel.

How are your studies?

-Really good.

I'm actually almost done,
finally.

LISA: Oh, you're
still in school?

ESTHER: Oh my God,
she's interested.

-Yeah.

NICOLE: He's actually
getting his PhD.

-Oh!
Okay, yeah.

Oh, so you're, like,
going to be a doctor.

-Yeah.

I'm going to be a
cinema doctor.

-What?

-I'm going to be a...

a doctor of cinema.

Yeah.

I'm going to be

I'm going to get
a PhD in cinema studies.

Yeah, I'm going to be
a doctor in cinema.

-And Joel,
remind me,

what are you going to
do with that degree?

-I am going to teach
film studies.

Obviously.

-Right. Right.

Cool!

-What are you going to do with
your degree?

-You know what I love?

Hitchcock.

-I've heard of him.

ESTHER: It's a great movie.

JOEL: The Lady Vanishes.

-Rear Window.

-Lady Vanishes.

-Ropes.
NICOLE: Birds.

-Birds!

-You know what happened
with that actress?

-The bird?

-Such a jerk to her.

So, how's
living with Holly?

-It's um... interesting.

Never a dull moment.

-Yeah.
She's a riot, for sure.

-Doesn't care about money
or any of that stuff.

She just lives her life
how it should be.

You know?

In the moment.

It's honestly inspiring.

-Um-hum.

-Just knowing the money will
come when it comes, you know?

-Yeah.

No. Um...

I mean, like,

the money's coming now

already, but...

It'll come later too, right?

-What do you mean?

-You know.

Her dad invested in, like,
Amazon or some shit

really early on.

Her parents are mad rich.

How do you think she affords
to live here?

-I don't know.

I guess I thought it was
the Etsy shop.

-Girl.

She sells, like, what?

One or two things
a month on that, max.

I mean, have you seen
her designs?

HOLLY: Alexa!
Play Nickelback.

NICOLE: No!
What?

Alexa, stop!

Alexa!

-ESTHER: Fuck.
I shouldn't have said that.

I didn't mean it like that.

I mean, I did.

I meant what I said.

But I shouldn't have said it.

It was shitty.
And she's my friend.

And I support her.

And...

It's like

they're simple pieces.

But simple things, you know,

they have more longevity, right?
Like...

BILL: I don't want to
have this argument right now.

HOLLY: Oh, you think I do?

-I mean, you're the one
instigating.

-NO.
You have to be fucking joking.

I hate arguing.

-No you don't.

-Yes, I do.

-I hate arguing.

-Are we seriously
doing this right now?

-We aren't doing anything.

You are the one.

-No!
We're doing this together.

I can't just argue with myself!

-You're being such a cunt
right now, Holly.

[Slap]

BILL: Did you seriously
just fucking hit me?

[Glass shatters]

BILL: God damn it!

It's right in front of
the bathroom door.

I'm not cleaning that up.

-Fuck!
Neither am I!

-Alright.
-Okay.

Goodnight.

-Goodnight.

LISA: Aren't you having fun?

Isn't this fun?

-Yeah.

You know, I feel like when
something's fun,

you don't really have to ask.
It's just, you know.

Kind of a given that...

-You're not enjoying yourself?

-No, I am.
I am.

It's just, I think, maybe

skating's not really my thing.

-But it's so New York.

-It is.
It's very New York.

Yep.

-I'm just glad to be out of
the apartment, honestly.

-Yeah.

At least they haven't
murdered you yet.

I'm going to sit down.

-But

they're going to end up
murdering each other.

-Yeah.

-They fight all the time.

It is exhausting.

They literally argue
about everything.

It's so distracting.

I can't draw.
I can't eat.

I can't sleep.

I can't even leave my room
without feeling like

I'm entering a fucking
battlefield.

-Yeah...

-I'm so sorry.

-It's okay.

It's just,
I can't wait to live with you!

-Yeah...

Can we talk about something?

-Yeah.

Are we not talking right now?

-No, yeah, we are.

I guess what I wanted
to say was

I think that

You know, we've reached a point
in our relationship where...

Look, we spent a lot of time
together in college, right?

And that was really great.

Like, that was really great.

And then I moved to New York.

And it's like,

you know, we had this
distance thing going on.

And that space, I feel like,
maybe was...

I think it was really good
for us.

You know what I mean?

-No.

-It's like...

Fuck. I thought that
was going to suffice.

I mean, don't you feel like
we're drifting?

Well,

we don't spend
that much time together.

But that's because
you're always busy.

-Right!
Yeah, I am busy.

Exactly.

And I guess that's
what I'm saying.

I mean, it kind of feels like
I have

you know, my own cool life.

-Do you not want to
live together anymore?

Are you breaking up with me?

-No, no.
No.

I'm not...

Not unless you wanted to
break up or something.

-What?

ERIC: What?
What?

-Do you want to break up?

-No!
I just said "no."

Look...

You know, you got your whole
"plan without a plan" thing

going on.
And I'm...

trying to, like,

get ahead in my career. You know

-Eric, you're a barista.

-I could be the best barista.

Look, I'm sorry.

I just don't like feeling bad

every time you ask me
to hang out

and I can't because I'm busy
or I'm tired

or I'm with other people.

It's just...

-But I don't know anyone else.

-So why'd you move here?

Hey.

What are you doing?

Lisa, I don't think you
can lay on this.

It's nice stone.

-It doesn't matter.

-Lisa, people are staring.

-I don't care.

Wait!
Where are you going?

-Huh? What?

-Where are you going?

-Didn't we just break up?

[Rock music plays]

[Holly laughs]

Come here!
Come here!

May I have this dance?

-Yes.

Oh fuck.
-Oh shit, oh shit.

-I like this song.

-It's good, right?

This is Bill's band!

-What?

-Yes, bitch!

-What's going on in here?

-Hi, baby.

-Hey, babe.

-Lisa's just being a strong,
independent woman.

-Oh yeah?

I'll take that.

-Oh.

Come here, baby.

Bill, come here.

-I don't want to make
anybody uncomfortable.

-We're family.

No one's uncomfortable.

LISA: Come.

HOLLY: Yeah.

-So, what's going on?

-Lisa's single.

[Holly and Lisa cheer]

-Guess that's good.

Is it good?

-Yeah, yeah.

I'm perfect, honestly.

-We're here for you.

You know that, right?

[Phone rings]

Get Go Travel Agency?

Um, yes.
Please hold.

They want to talk to an agent.

-Really?

-Really?

-Okay, yeah.
Sure.

Okay.
Hold on.

This is Sean.

Yes?

Uh-huh.

Yeah, I mean, we can definitely,
definitely do that for you.

Absolutely.
Not a problem.

Right.

No, absolutely.

Thank you so much.
Yeah, yeah, perfect.

I'll talk to you then.

Okay.
Have a nice day.

Dude!

I just made a sale.

Lisa, I just made a sale.

That was easy.

This is an easy job.

[Guitar picking]

BILL: So that's the G.

Now if we move it back

that's a C.

You just go back and forth.

You got a song.

All you need is two chords.

-That's so easy.

-They say it's three chords
but it's two chords, actually.

You want to try?

-Okay.

-So you take your hand...

I don't know what's more
comfortable for you.

This one or this one.

Does that feel good?

-Okay.

-You can strum.

To here.

-Okay.

-Try that.

HOLLY: Hey, babe.

-Hey.
What's up?

-How are you?

-What's going on?

-I'm hungry.

-Let's get some tacos?

-Yeah.

Hey, Lisa.

-You're a natural.

[Guitar strumming]

[Bill humming]

[Knock at door]

Who is it?

Dude.

-Dude.

How are you doing?

-I'm good.
How are you?

-Great.

-Hey, Doug.

-How are you?

-Fine.

-It's been forever.

-Yeah.

Bill didn't say you were
coming by.

-Yeah.

Yeah.

-Where are you staying
these days?

-Huh?

-Where are you--

-Let me give you
a hand.

-Yeah, where am I staying
these days?

-Where is he staying?

-Come on.
I'll show you the space.

-Thank you, Holly.

Where's your bathroom?

-It's back to the left.

-Cool.

-It's pink.

-Yeah, I'm going to set up
shop in there.

[Bill and Holly arguing
in the background]

BILL: Where do you want him
to stay?

HOLLY: Somewhere fucking else.

LISA: So, you're going to live
here now?

-That's what Bill said.

-And did he tell you about me?

-Yeah.
He did.

He said I could stay
in the spare room.

HOLLY: I have specific plans
to decorate...

LISA: You mean Holly's studio?

BILL: You've had plans for years

and all you've done
is paint the bathroom pink.

DOUG: Ah shit.

-I mean, you're being really
fucking selfish, Holly.

-These rooms are what we agreed
to when we signed the lease.

-We didn't sign a lease!

I signed a lease.

-You're a fucking asshole.

-And you're a fucking...

James Franco fucker!

-Well then how about you
and Doug just share our room.

And I'll move out!

-What would that actually solve?

-I was being facetious.

-I'm glad you said something.

Because I didn't want to say
anything but you are being

kind of a Nazi right now.

-A Nazi?

I said "facetious,"
not "fascist."

You fucking idiot.

-Whatever.
Same shit.

-No.
No, no, no, no.

It's not.

You just called your girlfriend
a Nazi.

-Well...

I'm sorry.
I wasn't thinking.

-Yeah, that's clear.

-Come on.
I mean...

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

-No, don't touch me.

Don't touch--
Don't fucking touch me.

-Come on.

-No!
Get away!

Sit down!

Get away from me.

-Really?

Are you...

Okay.

-I'm tired of fighting.

-Yeah.

Me too.

[Guitar interlude]

[Coughs]

Feels good, right?
It's not bad.

Hey, by the way...

Thank you for this.

Because this bar usually
doesn't card.

But I just didn't want to
risk it.

Like, you never know.
And, like, you know?

-How old are you, again?

-What's your Venmo
so I can get you back for this?

-Don't worry about it.
It's on me.

-Wow.

Thanks.
I'll cheers to that, then.

-Cheers.

-Cheers.
-Cheers.

Ah.

That's refreshing.

-So they just closed
the agency down?

-So, like,

my uncle

funny enough

he never seemed that interested
in keeping the business open.

In the first place.

Like, at all.

But I'm kind of relieved,
a little bit, because

I just don't like working.

-Me neither.

-So what are you going
to do now?

Well isn't that
how temping works?

Like, you get a new job,

and then you kind of hop
around and stuff?

-Yeah. I don't think I'm going
to keep temping.

-Oh. Okay.

Well, what are you going
to do?

-I don't know.

I don't even know what I'm
doing here.

-Well, we're just having
a drink.

-In New York, Sean.

I just thought I was going to
have this exciting experience.

And I could just exist
and be happy.

But I'm not happy.

And I don't know why.
Which makes it worse.

And I was just really,
really hoping

for, like, some experience,
you know? Like...

[Clap]

But I don't know what
that means.

Is New York a place?

Is it an idea?

Or is it something deeper?

Maybe, New York isn't for me.
Maybe...

I'm not for it.

-New York's definitely
a place.

-I should've gone to
grad school.

Everything makes sense when
you're in college.

Hey...

Your school's close by.

Why don't we go and
check out the campus for fun.

-New York University, like NYU,

doesn't actually have a campus.

-Oh.

-But we do have dorms.

Okay...

So this is it.

This is my spot.

Oh, let me get rid
of this shit.

-Where are your sheets?

-They are somewhere--

They're around here somewhere.

So does this remind you
of your college days?

-Yeah.

Unfortunately.

It's not that bad, right?
It's like...

ROOMMATE: Yo Sean!

-Dude, get out of here!

What are you doing?

-I'm sorry.
You're door was unlocked.

-That's not a reason
for you to come in!

Lisa, don't go.

-I have to go anyway.

-I'm sorry, Sean.

And you're very pretty!

Was that a grad student?

[Train moving]

HOLLY: It just became
clear to me.

That, like, he doesn't give
a shit about me.

Like, nothing else matters.

I'm just there.

And he only cares about himself.

I've wasted so much
time and money on him.

Like, I could be traveling
the world right now.

-Do you want to be traveling
the world right now?

-Ew. No.

But...

The point is I could be
traveling right now.

He's suffocating me!

-Maybe you should see what life
is like without him.

-You think we should

break up?

-Do you want my honest opinion?

Then yes.

Yes, you absolutely should.

That's my opinion.

If you want it, I mean.

-You smoke?

[Both laugh]

I'm sorry.

-It's okay.

-The fountain's usually on.

BILL: One, two, three!

["Santa Fe" by Leon Sinks]

They have...

I really want beer.

-What the fuck
is this?

I think this is
some sort of lemonade.

I don't even think there's
any alcohol in this.

I hate beer.

-Really?

-Do you want any?

You seem to like it.

-No, it's okay.

[Party chatter]

Cool.

Yeah, he's great.

We saw it at
the same time.

-We walked in but
my eyes made contact.

-But what if we
sliced it in four so the...

-I don't know.

I think that's not fair.

-Um, no.

Yeah, we're not allowed
on the roof.

-Are you sure?
I've seen--

-Yes, it's against...

We're not allowed on the roof.

You're not allowed on the roof.

-Well, Bill said sometimes
you guys go up--

-Yeah, well, Bill doesn't know

what the fuck
he's talking about.

Okay?

-Well, I'm just trying to get
a bunch of...

I'm trying to get
a group together.

Maybe go up on the roof.
Look at the skyline.

-Fine.

Yeah, yeah. Go have fun
in your apartment.

-Okay.

Thank you for...

♪ Round yon virgin ♪

♪ Mother and child ♪

♪ Holy infant ♪

♪ So tender and mild ♪

♪ Sleep in heavenly peace ♪

♪ Sleep in heavenly peace ♪

BILL: Happy holidays, y'all.

[Guitar strumming]

-Okay, okay.

-Have you never seen the Ken
Burns country music documentary?

I don't come.

Every time.
It's fool-proof!

But it does make sex
unenjoyable.

But, you know.
Ebb and flow.

You know, I don't enjoy sex.

I never come.

-Sorry.

Hey. Hey.

-What are you doing here?

-I don't know.

I miss you.

-You've got issues dude.

-I know. I'm sorry.

-You hurt me.

-I didn't lay a finger on you.

-Emotionally, I mean.

-Oh.

Yeah, okay.

I don't know.
Do you want to go...

We could go to your bedroom
and we could talk this out.

I mean...

-No.

-Do you want to talk
about it here?

-No, I just don't
want to talk about it.

-I said I was sorry.

-I know, I heard you
the first time.

I just don't believe you.

-Why else would I walk
all the way over here?

I walked here.

-Because you're
lonely and horny.

I don't know.

Look...

I don't blame you for
breaking up with me.

I just wish you had done it
before I moved to New York.

-You're the one that said moving
to New York had nothing

to do with me.

-Well, yeah but it still
would've been nice to know

before I moved here.

Dude.

-What?
-No!

-It's just, we're standing here,
there's no one else around--

-No. But you know...

This is not the moment.

-Ridiculous.

-A bunch of us are going
up to the roof.

-Are you inviting me?

-Yeah, do you want to go
up to the roof?

-Yes! Yes!

-We're getting a whole
group together.

-So you just want me
to leave, then?

-I don't know, dude.
It's a free country.

Do whatever you want.

DOUG: We're going up
to the roof--

-Shh. No. No.

You've got one of those
scary roofs, huh?

No railing.

-Can I have one?

-Uh... Yeah.

It's nicotine gum.

-Sure, I'm trying
to quit anyways.

How long since you've
been off cigarettes?

-Oh, I'm not.

-Oh.

-I don't...
I mean, I don't smoke.

I just chew for the buzz.

Without the lung cancer.

-Now you're messing with me.

-No, seriously.

And I'm basically addicted
to it now.

I go through, like,
a pack a day.

-You're a pack-a-day
chewer?

-Yeah. Is that weird?

-Yeah. A little.

-Yeah, so...

What you got to do is
park and chew.

So you chew it until
you taste the peppery flavor.

And then you sort of park it
in the corner of your mouth

until the flavor goes away.

And then you start
chewing it again.

-Yeah, I think I taste
the pepper.

-No you don't.

But you will.

Then you'll get a head rush.

It's, like, the best part.

I'm sorry.
That was inappropriate.

-It's okay.

-Oh, I'm sorry.

-You already said that.

-Yeah, I thought...

like...

you meant it's okay, like...

I can...

-No.

I'm going back to the party.

-Yeah, right on.

Yeah, I'm going to...

I'm going to stick up here.

Check out the cool view.

HOLLY: You're the one who's
over here

flirting with my
fucking friends.

-What?

-You're embarrassing yourself.

Because your band
fucking sucks.

You're a loser!

-We're going there. Okay.

-Oh yeah, we're going to
go there.

-What the fuck do you do?
Go write a song.

-Oh what the fuck do I do?

-Go sing a song.

-I can write a song.

I'll write a song on the guitar
I fucking bought for you

that you still owe me money for!

-It was a birthday present.

Are you fucking kidding me?
-Oh, that's right! That's right!

Fuck! I forgot.

It was a birthday present.

-Give me the fucking guitar.

-Yeah, yeah. Sure, sure.

Psych!

[Guitar smashes]

-You're fucking insane.

-You need help, man?

LISA: Holly, wait.

-You were right.
He's a snake.

-Well, I never used
that word but...

-A pig.
A son-of-a-bitch.

I can't believe I wasted so much
of my fucking life

on that bloodsucker.

-I feel like you're being
a bit overdramatic

but if you really think
that's best then

I would support you--

Stop doing that!

Why do you keep doing that?

-Okay, relax.

I'm just playing around.

Take the stick out of your ass.

-Fuck you, Holly!

-Why did you even follow me?

-To help you!

-I don't need your help!

-What the fuck is wrong
with you?

Oh my God.
This gum is really kicking in.

-You know what?

Fuck it.

If you and Bill want
to be together...

Have him!

-What are you talking about?

Holly, where are you going?

-Long Island!

[Sighs]

Hey.

I'm sorry about that.

-I mean, what the fuck
just happened?

-I don't know.

I think Holly needs some help.

She's losing her mind.

-I think we just need
to break up.

Hasn't been good for
a while, so...

-Yeah.

-I think that's a good idea.

[Chuckles]

Relationships are so crazy!

What the fuck?

-What?

-No, no.

Get off.
What's wrong with you?

What's wrong with everyone
in this city?

Is there something
up in the water?

-I thought you liked me.
I'm sorry.

-You have a girlfriend!

-Yeah, and you just agreed
we should break up.

You're being really confusing.

-Srew you!

-Go fuck yourself.

-No. No, no, no.
You know what?

I used to think you all
were quirky New Yorkers

but your'e not.

You're full of shit.

You're all assholes!

This whole city's
full of assholes.

And you know what?

It's no better than Florida!

[Yells in pillow]

[Glass shatters]

God damn it, Holly.

How fucking clumsy

do you have...

Holly?

Oh my God!

[Lisa cries]

[Sirens wail]

MOM: Hey, sweetie.

How are you feeling?

-I'm good.

-Good.

Let's watch a movie when
you get up.

[Dialogue from old movie]

There must be something
you want for Christmas.

Something that even your mother
doesn't know about..

Why don't you give me a chance?

LISA: Can we go
to the beach today?

-How about we just stay home?

-Okay.

Are you enjoying
your pizza?

-It's good.

-Would you like some red pepper?

-Sure.

-Here you go.

[Beach sounds]

[Plane flying overhead]

[Explosion]

♪ Snow is falling in Manhattan ♪

♪ In a slow diagonal fashion ♪

♪ On the Sabbath,
as it happens ♪

♪ Snow is falling in Manhattan ♪

♪ If it looks like it might
be a bad one ♪

♪ The good caretaker
springs to action ♪

♪ Salts the stoop and
scoops the cat in ♪

♪ Tests an icy patch for
traction ♪

♪ Snow ♪

♪ Snow, oh, whoa, oh,
whoa, oh, whoa ♪

♪ Snow, oh, whoa, oh,
whoa, oh, whoa ♪

♪ Snow, oh, whoa ♪

♪ Snow, oh, whoa ♪

♪ Snow, oh, whoa, oh,
whoa, oh, whoa ♪