Wrongfully Accused (1998) - full transcript

[Violin playing
dramatically]

Good evening, miss Lake.

[Full orchestra playing]

[Muffled scream]

Oh!

Ohh.

Mmm.

Mmm.

[Squeaking]

Uhh.

♪♪♪



♪

[Bawling]

This is so sad!

[Crying]

[Electric guitar grinds]

[Playing Jimi Hendrix's version
of star-spangled banner]

Whoopee! Yay!

Ryan! Ryan!

Crowd: Ryan! Ryan!

Ryan! Ryan!

Cass: Please,
let me through.

Please.

Ryan! Ryan!

Ryan! Ryan!



[Wolf whistle]

Bravo, I say.

Ryan rules!

Congratulations.

Thank you,
thank you.

Crowd: Ryan! Ryan! Ryan!

Here you go.

Uhh. Mitsubishi.

Mr. Harrison.

Here you go.

Yeah, this big
thing, yeah.

Ryan: Uhh.

Lamb chop: Ryan! Ryan!

Ryan! Ryan!

Ryan! Ryan! Ryan!

[Applause]

Thank you, thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.
Nice talking with you.

Mm-hmm.
Thank you, Ryan.

Thank you.

Cass lake.

No. Uh, Ryan Harrison.

You're mixing me up
with some woman.

I'd love to have you
sit for me sometime.

Are you a dog trainer?

No.

Portraits.

I've seen every one
of your concerts.

Your music moved me.

Nothing like
a good movement.

Ohh-ho! Oh, Allah!

Oh, my balls!

Muslim prayers.

That must be east.

[Man moaning]

Well, excuse me.

My hand! Ow!

Ryan: Hibbing Goodhue.

Maestro Harrison.

Welcome.

Thank you
for inviting me.

I need to talk to you.

Cass, I have guests.

It's been a privilege
sponsoring your concerts.

I'm eternally grateful
to my husband

for bringing you
into my life,

Mr. Ryan Harrison.

I think this deserves
a kiss, don't you?

Ryan: Ah.

I've never missed
one of your concerts.

Hibbing, however,
wasn't at Friday's.

It was a high colonic.

Yes. A Jewish holiday.
Mazel tov.

Uh, yes.

I'll just round us
up some drinks.

I, um...

How dare you!

How could you
ignore my note?

All I want is for you
to reconsider. Hibbing, please.

Hibbing:
Oh, stuff and nonsense.

Ryan.

Go dash some mineral
water on your face

and buck up!

You deserve
a real man's drink.

Bottoms up.

I know mine will be.

Hibbing:
Good-bye, darling.

Lauren:
Have a safe flight.

Could you please
open the gate for me?

[Tires skid,
car crashes]

Never mind.

[Kissing]

Ryan,
what are you doing?

Your dog certainly has
a surprised look on his face.

Well, that's because you're
looking at his butt.

[Dog groans]

Oh, oh. Then he's
certainly not going to enjoy

that treat that
I just fed to him.

[Dog barks]

Well, I guess I better be...

I don't think so.

[Keys sliding down
metal chute]

[Keys hit bottom]

Now they're safe.

I thought I might,
uh, go for a swim.

Would you care
to join me?

I have a suit for you.

Mrs. Goodhue, I think that
we should say good-bye now.

No, please.

My head is spinning like
a dreidel in a sandstorm.

I should go...

Kissing you... makes me
think about your husband.

You do like women?

Of course.

But you're a married one.
I'm not.

Hibbing won't be back
for 3 days.

Stay. You don't know
what you're missing.

I used to lick envelopes
for a living.

Those long Manila ones.

I'm not wearing
any underwear.

Oh!

Mmm.

[Violin playing
dramatically]

[Cheering]

Car alarm:
Intruder. Intruder.

Step away from the car.
Step away from the car.

Step away...

System deactivated.

Get into the car.
Get into the car.

Get into the car.

[Starts engine]

[Revs engine]

Lauren: Ryan darling,
why are you leaving me?

Hibbing is out of town.
If I don't see you tonight,

I'm prepared to take
my own life.

I am desperate!

And I'm out of milk.

Can you pick up a half gallon
of two percent on the way?

Yours in adultery,
Lauren.

Ruth Kimble in New York,

and I'm speaking with
United Nations secretary general

Sir Robert Mckintyre.

I'd like to thank our mutual
friend Hibbing Goodhue

for arranging this interview.

Hibbing has been
my good friend

since our school days

at cherry pants
upon buttocks.

He's invited you to come
to Columbia heights

to make an important speech.

A speech that will have
terrorists peeing their pants.

Quite. I am forming
a multinational strike force

whose sole purpose
is to tear

at the very heart
of terrorism

by seeking out
and destroying

their sanctuaries
and training compounds.

I will be placing every
terrorist on alert

that their days
are indeed numbered.

Yes.

[Changing stations]
Lesbian...

Man: Oral...

Woman: Used to masturbate...

Second woman:
Nymphomaniac Siamese twins

who cheat with
each other's husbands.

But first, it's official.

The United Nations secretary
general sir Robert Mckintyre

will be in Columbia heights
on the twelfth of this month

as guest of Hibbing Goodhue.

Sir Robert will be speaking
at our Colombia heights jamboree

and will be the highlight

of this year's celebration
of Scottish heritage.

The braveroy
pipe and drill team...

[Radio station changes
to quiet music]

It's you.

Well, I've been drinking
several toasts

to your honor tonight,
my dear.

Yes,
to the great deceiver.

You never loved me.

You only wanted me for
my connection with Mckintyre

and for my quiet shoreline:

The perfect place to land
a small group of terrorists.

This is about assassination.

Turn that bloody radio off.

[Cocks gun]

Oh, please. That's far
too melodramatic.

Ouch!

[Gunshots]

Ohh!

Aah!

Ohh!

[Car alarm chirps]

[Gunshots continue]

Bloody hell.

Have you quite finished?

[Splash]

Mmm.

Mmm.

[Thunder]

[Car approaching]

Ryan: Lauren.

Ryan: I read your note.

I'm not here
to play games, Lauren.

Where are you?

Lauren?

Lau-oh!

I want you
to understand.

There's nothing
between us.

You're not Lauren.

You're an impostor.

"Hylander"?

Goodhue.

Where the hell were you?

You made a mess of things.

At least you did your job.

Goodhue knew too much.
He had to die.

As for this sorry sod,

you've given the authorities
Hibbing's murderer.

I expect we'll move forward
with no further interference

with operation hylander...

The killing of
the U.N.'s Mckintyre.

Aah!

Police radio: We have a code 3
break-in at 47 Jefferson.

2 suspects...

Say cheese.

Cop: Who's that?
Where'd he come from?

Jeez, he's got a gun!

Get the gun!

You have the right
to remain silent.

Anything you say
may be held against you.

One nation indivisible
till death do us part.

Vanadder?

Yeah?

Take this blood sample
to the lab,

and don't go walking around
with it all day.

Up yours.

Get him in the car.

All right, people,
get him in the car.

[Shouting questions]

Stand back, people.
Give him some air.

Hold 'em back,
hold 'em back.

I'm innocent.

I've been
wrongfully accused.

Guilt or innocence,
that's not my job.

It's my duty to pick up

scum-sucking punks
like yourself

who are accused of a crime.

A jury of 12
really stupid people

who are easily swayed
by rich, fat-cat, slimy lawyers

who will do anything
but tell the truth

will sit
in judgment of you.

It's as American
as a burrito.

Ryan and I were having sex.

Hot, steamy, sweaty sex.

Every part of my body tingled,
orgasm after orgasm.

Lady, I just asked
for your name.

Oh, um,
Mrs. Hibbing Goodhue.

I was weak to Ryan's charms.

He wanted me
to leave Hibbing.

He said he just wanted
to talk to him.

I can't believe he killed him.

I came home late last night,

and there he was.

Now I'm gonna have to start
dating again.

[Reporters shouting questions]

OK, everybody, come on.
Let the car through.

Step back, back, back.

Aah!

[Gavel bangs]

Judge: Ryan Harrison,
a jury of your peers

have found you
guilty of murder.

On August 12
at Stillwater federal prison,

you shall have your sentence
carried out.

You shall be executed
buffet style.

Lethally injected,
electrocuted,

and placed
before a firing squad.

And may god have mercy
on your soul,

you bastard, you.

Pre-recorded woman's voice:
Seats in the upright position.

Handcuffs and ankle chains
must be securely fastened

or you will be shot.

Exits are clearly marked,

but you will not
be using them.

Should you use them,
you will be shot.

On behalf of the state
of Minnesota,

thank you for being arrested
and convicted.

Sit back
and enjoy your bus ride.

I'm not gonna take it
any longer.

I'm gonna fight back.

I am going to prove
that I am not guilty.

Shut up!

No! I've been
wrongfully accused.

Ooh!

How dare you, sir.

How dare you!

No, how dare you!

No, no!
How dare you!

How dare you "no, no"
my how dare you!

You dare to dare me?

How dare you how dare me
when I how dare you,

you big pee-pee head?

You are
the pee-pee head.

Mr. Booger lips.
Ca-ca mouth.

Shut up!

I'll not shut up!
You'll never shut me up!

Aah!

Whoa!

Woman: Hey,
you pee-pee head!

Aah!

[Noises like pinball machine]

Ohh!

Ohh!

Aah!

Ohh!

Hey, I can't see.

Man: Take the wastebasket
off your head.

I still can't see.

Man: Take the other one off.

Ohh!

Oh, that's better.

Man: Get the keys.

Take off the cuffs.

Second man:
Ohh, my shoe's untied.

Third man:
Ohh, my shirt's out.

[Train whistle blows]

Whoo whoo?

Whoo?

Oh, no.

A train.

Prisoners: A train?!

Thank you!

Thank you!

Thank you!

[Train whistle blows]

Uh-oh.

Ohh!

[Train whistle blows]

[Train whistle blows]

[Rings bicycle bell]

Oh, no!

Aah!

[Train whistle blows]

Aah!

[Train whistle blows]

[Train whistle blows]

[Signal bells
ringing]

[Relieved laugh]

Orono, Bagley.

This looks
like a trailer park

after a tornado.

Speak to me, people.

Orono: One prisoner
was missing.

It's a Ryan...

Harrison.

The man who killed
Hibbing Goodhue.

Oh, lord. This has
more twists and turns

than chubby checker
in a blender.

So we got us a murderer
on the loose.

All right,
listen up, people.

Our man will be on foot
and running.

A man that's tired,
a man that's possibly hurt

will have a stride
of 4 feet, 2 3/4 inches

while wearing boxer shorts.

4 feet even with
the restrictions of a brief,

which means he will cover
4 miles in one hour.

He's got an hour and 3/4
start on us.

He'll take
to the nearest highway.

He'll commandeer a car
or hop on a truck.

Now, the average elevation
in this area is over 2,057 feet,

2 1/4 inches,

with one exception.

He will take any chances,

do anything
to stay a free man:

Climb, hike, rappel.

Hell, even fall
down a damn mountain.

It's a wilderness out there,

so this citified sophisticate
better watch himself.

He's in the heart
of bear country.

[Roars]

This fiddle player will be
hungry, famished, starved.

His last meal
was 12 hours ago.

This boy's on the run.
He'll head for the city,

a large city.

He'll try to lose himself
in a crowd.

And wherever he goes,

he will feel hundreds
of eyes staring his way.

No matter what he does,
no matter where he goes,

he will feel hunted,
and, my friends,

you are looking
at the hunter.

Bagley?
Sir.

I want roadblocks
around a 10-mile radius.

Set up communication
with all law enforcement.

That's state, county, city.

Give me governor Carlson.

I may need
the national guard.

Diet coke, no ice.

All right, people,
I want Harrison caught

in 4 hours and 28 minutes.

That will make it
exactly high noon.

Now let's move it,
move it, move it, move it!

Move it, people! Move it!

Nelson and I are heading
towards Wisetta

by way of peck's woods.

So far no sign
of Harrison. Over.

Dispatcher: 10-4, unit 6.

Swedish accent:
How you doing there?

Uh, fine.

These are on sale,
right?

Sure, yeah.
32.50, OK, uh-huh.

You betcha, sure, uh-huh.

Doing some fishing
around here?

Yes.

Yeah, I'm gonna do
a little angling.

See if I can't catch
one of those...

Uh, big, uh...

Mouth fish in Minnesota.

And some of those
huge huskies, too.

So, Roman,

are you still fishing
off gray's bay?

Catching any walleyes,

muskies or enemy boats?

Uh-huh, sure.
You betcha.

I've told you that
umpteen times.

A guy in a rubber
type boat was headed

for the Goodhue
place, you know.

Yeah, sure,
uh-huh, uh-huh.

OK, then?

Sure. After
how many beers?

I ain't touched
a drop of liquor

since I quit singing
with Abba.

Was that the night
of the Hibbing Goodhue murder?

Yeah.

You seem awful
interested in this case.

No.

Do you know something
about the killing?

Do you have any
real stories to tell us?

No. I'll take the rod,

and I'll write out a check.
You have a pen?

Thank you.

[Telephone rings]

You know, I've never seen
you around here, Mr...

Uh, buzz'n.

Buzz'n frog.

Born on the shores of
the Urilava river in Rapala.

Couple of husky jerks brought me
to slimy slug, south Dakota,

up there by timber doodle.

The Zebco brothers...
Smithwick and, uh...

Salty dog shrimp.

Oh, I can't go fishing
this afternoon.

I've got a big meeting
over at, uh...

Mensroom.

I'd forget my genitals

if they weren't superglued
in-between my legs.

Water-skiing accident.

Freeze, Harrison!

Don't move.

Hmm.

You know, I've never seen
you around here, Mr...

Ryan: Uh, buzz'n.

Buzz'n frog.

Born on the shores of
the Urilava river in Rapala.

Up there by timber doodle.

Salty dog shrimp.

I've got a big meeting
over at, uh...

Mensroom.

There's got to be
something here,

some clue somewhere.

[Grunting]

[Grunting]

Ryan.

What are you doing here?
How did you get in?

The door was open.

I locked that door.
A key.

Lauren is missing,
she gave you a key

and sent you here to do
some evidence housecleaning.

No. I painted
Hibbing's portrait.

He gave me this key
to let myself in.

I have no idea
where Lauren is.

The killer
could be stalking her.

Stalking schmalking.

She lied about me
on the witness stand.

She set me up to come here
the night of the murder.

No. She couldn't
do anything like that.

Coulda, woulda,
shoulda, she did-a.

I understand her,
you see.

I think she's my sister.

Sister?

It's like a brother,
only you do each other's hair.

I think she's in grave danger.
I came to look for clues.

Ryan,
I know you're innocent.

You really mean that?

I mean, this is not just
another way to meet guys?

I'm a friend.

Oh. I wish that we
could be friends. I...

But women and me

are like water and fire.

Wet and flammable.

No, no.

You hang out with me,

and you're gonna
get hurt.

No.

Hooh!

It was all mine.

The city
was at my feet,

spread out
like an oyster.

People bravo-ed,
they ovated.

I was somebody,
I was a contender.

Now all I've got

is a one-way ticket
to Palookaville.

[Crack]

It's got to be
that the answer

is here somewhere.

The party...
Drinks... drinking...

Bar...

There's something
about the bartender.

Close your eyes.

The bartender.

Hibbing's killer!

You...

With the killer.

[Siren]

Good lord.

The bus stop at helms
is the 5:50 express.

It stops right in front
of the Goodhue house.

Scour the entire area.

Orono, chase the car
and put it in park.

Bagley, I want everyone
interrogated.

I want surnames,
last names, given names,

confirmation names.

Give me photo analysis,
footprint analysis,

DNA, bra sizes.

I'll check out
who owns this truck.

Go, go, go, go, go,
go, go, go, go, go.

[Whirring]

I need a backup unit,
a roadblock,

and a helicopter.

Harrison?

Where's that gardener?

Bagley! Orono!

[Squeak, pop]

That's our man!

She meant to do that.

Pfft. Women.

[Rustling]

We got us a gopher.

[Straining]

I'll see where
this thing comes out.

Call the department
of water...

Hey!

[Knocks on door]

[Heartbeat]

Hands up!

[Suction]

It's over, Harrison.

But I'm innocent.

The one-armed, one-legged,
one-eyed man, the bartender,

he was the one who
killed Hibbing Goodhue,

and Lauren Goodhue
is working with him.

Why, I don't know.

Why?
I don't know.

But I'll find them.
I've got clues.

I've got a map, I've
got the name hylander,

and a rubber boat.
They all prove

that I've been
wrongfully accused.

Nice tune, but I didn't
come here to dance.

You've been
convicted of murder.

I'm taking you in.

No.
I'm not going back,

wherever it is.

Ow!

Wait! Harrison!

Fergus: Man in the water!

[Rock music begins]

♪ Some people stand
in the darkness ♪

♪ afraid to step
into the light ♪

♪ some people need ♪

[Squeak]

♪ To help somebody ♪

♪ when the edge of
surrender's inside ♪

[Boing boing]

♪ Don't you worry ♪

[Boing boing]

♪ It's gonna be all right ♪

Ooh, cold!
Cold! Cold!

♪ 'Cause I'm always ready ♪

♪ I won't let you
out of my sight ♪

What the hell
is all that rubber-boat

and hylander stuff about?

Orono,
call the coast guard.

Hylander. Hylander.

Well!

Peek-a-boo, baby.

Don't move.

I've got a gun.

Not here,
but I got one.

You frightened?

You ran away,
you remember?

You can move now.

Yes,
I was frightened.

I've been driving
all over the city

searching for you.

Well, you found me.
Hide-and-seek is over.

The school bell has rung.
Time to go back to the homeroom.

Whatever you do,
don't scream.

Aah!

Like that.

[Elevator bell dinging]

Ryan, you can
feel safe here.

We're 6 floors up.
No one can see you.

Woman:
Hey, Cass,

who's your
new friend?!

Sit down, pancakes.

Of all the women
in all the world,

you had to walk
into mine.

Ohh.

You know, I'm sure
if we just...

Talk and talk all night,
we can work this out.

Sure, slappy.

Let's pull out
that wad of cotton

and get right
to the aspirin.

You hired a hit man.
You wanted Hibbing dead.

I saw the two of you
arguing,

and you were sizzling
like a wiener on a hibachi.

That's because
Hibbing told me

that he hated the portrait
I did of him.

It hurt. A deep,
crampy kind of a hurt.

That's why I was so upset.

I was even gonna kill myself,
but I couldn't.

I threw the gun
in the bay.

We don't have time
for this schoolgirl act.

We're both of us
sitting under the gallows.

You're not telling me
the truth.

Explain to me why you
gave the killer the money.

That was Hibbing's money
for the portrait.

I gave it to the bartender
to give back to Hibbing.

I never wanted
to see Hibbing again.

You're lies
are like bananas.

They come in
big yellow bunches.

I wish there was
something I could do

to make you believe me.

[Squeegee, squeegee]

Damn you.

Damn you for making me
fall in love with you.

I can't let you
get mixed up in this.

I want to
get mixed up in it.

I can't do it to you.

I want you
to do it to me.

I'm a hunted man.

Every time I think
that I'm out,

they pull me back in.

Hunt me. Pull me.

Ryan, you can't
do this on your own.

I have to.

Now, listen,
I'm going out that door,

and where I'm going
you can't follow me,

and I'm not trying
to be noble,

but, baby, out there,
it's a hill of beans.

Here's looking
at you, kid.

You're the stuff
dreams are made of.

Oh.

You see?
You're exhausted.

Listen, I'm gonna
give you a sponge bath,

give you a bracing enema
and make you something to eat.

Just put your weight on me.
I'll take you into the bedroom.

Come on.

Enema?
Ohh!

Nat king Cole:
♪ when I fall in love ♪

♪ it will be forever ♪

♪ or I'll never fall ♪

♪ in love ♪

[Clattering]

♪ In a restless world ♪

♪ like this is ♪

♪ love is ended ♪

♪ before it's begun ♪

♪ and too many
moonlight kisses ♪

♪ seem to cool
in the warmth of the sun ♪

Hey!

Ay!

♪ When I give my heart ♪

Ooh!

♪ It will be completely ♪

♪ or I'll never give ♪

♪ my heart ♪

Mmm.

♪ And the moment ♪

♪ I can feel that ♪

Aah!

♪ You feel that way, too ♪

♪ is when I fall in love ♪

Chick Hearn on TV:
It's nervous time,

and time
is running out.

Hey,
we got a fast break.

He's blocked from
entering the Lane.

He holds up.
He's on the dribble.

Yo-yoing up and down,
up and down, up and down.

He checks the clock.
Time is running out.

He's been in the paint
for a long time.

Oh, he's going for it.

Shoots. Off the iron.
Rebound. Put it up.

It's dangling
on the rim.

No, yes, no, yes, no.

Rebound.
He's going for it.

The mustard's
off the hot dog!

Another rebound.
No harm, no foul.

He pops up a long one.
Nothing but net.

Oh, yes! He scores!

This one's
in the refrigerator,

the door's closed,
the lights are out,

the eggs are coolin',

the butter's gettin' hard,
and the jell-o is jigglin'.

Bagley: A picnicker
said she saw a man

wet and dripping
walk this way.

Gather up all these leaves
for trace evidence.

Shoot and gut
every animal in the park.

Their stomachs
might contain something

that could be a clue.

Donate the meat to charity.

Hides could be turned into
warm socks for the poor.

Grind up the bones
for dog food.

I want nothing wasted.

Uh-huh.
Well, here we are.

A man's footprint.

The depth of the print

indicating the weight
and the height of Harrison.

Heh. Tire tracks.

Tire tracks of
the kind found

in the classic
Mercedes Benz convertible.

The car of choice...

For a bright,
young professional woman.

An artist.

Maybe a photographer,
painter.

A woman
with a mysterious past.

A woman who is
looking for someone.

Yeah. I can feel it.

I'm as sure about that as I am
that that's an anaconda.

Hey.

That woman who cut us off
in the Mercedes...

That fits her to a "t."

License number 381jpl.

Davy Crockett died
for our sins.

Harrison's had somebody
helping him all along!

Call motor vehicles.
Get her address.

We'll pick her up.

No. No, no.

There are better ways to
find out what a woman knows.

Dinner and a movie,
lie to her,

say you love her.

That works,
but in this case,

we're gonna
stake out her place.

She's gonna lead us
to Ryan Harrison.

Bagley!

[Gunshot]

I'm coming.

OK, guys.

Ah.

TV: Penningson & Saks
presents old people on ice,

now through November
at the Marney ice ArenA.

Good afternoon. I'm Ruth Kimble
with your hometown news.

For 36 hours, Ryan Harrison,
murderer, all-around big dink,

has been a fugitive.

Lieutenant Fergus falls

is heading
the worldwide manhunt.

Police helicopters,
dogs, psychics,

and thousands of police
are involved,

plus,
millions of average citizens

who would give their left nut
to collect the $50,000 reward.

And who couldn't use
a bit of extra money?

A couple on a fixed income?
A teacher?

Especially a struggling artist
who had to return a large fee

because someone
hated her portrait.

I personally wouldn't
trust someone like that

for a million billion
trillion dollars.

The Columbia heights
jamboree is shaping...

Cass: We're on
the sixth floor.

Apartment 602.

What?

No. He's alone.

Well.

Well, well.

You don't understand.
This can't wait.

This has to
happen right now.

Ryan: Sean laughrea...

Hibbing's killer.

Yes. Thank you.

Fergus: Harrison, open up!
I know you're in there!

It's the police!

Harrison! Come here!

Cass: Don't go in there!
What are you doing?

Fergus: Harrison!

Ryan, Ryan,
open up!

Ryan, I've got a gun.

Come on!

Ryan!
Let me in right now.

Ryan, come out.

Uhh.

Is that my toilet?
Ryan!

Fergus: Harder!

Cass: Open up! You'll
never get away, Ryan.

Cass: Ryan!

Ohh.

Fergus:
It's starting to give.

Aah!

[Ryan gagging
and pounding on door]

Ryan: Help!

Fergus: Go!

[Charlie's angels theme
plays]

All right, my angels,
move!

Bagley: Patio clear!

Ivy needs water!

Orono: Den is clear!

I got spaghetti!

Watch it.
Plate could be hot!

I got a shut door!

Empty.

We throw a shoe every time
we start to gallop.

That man's as slick as a lizard
in Jerry Lewis' hair.

Cass lake,
face of an angel.

Harrison's accomplice.

A caterpillar has 2,087
minute hairs on each leg,

but for the life of me,

I cannot tell you why women
keep falling for the wrong man.

All right, people,
tag and log everything.

I want carpet fibers,
I want wallpaper swatches,

I want all plumbing
and wood surfaces analyzed,

so vacuum, cut, chip,
and suck.

There are 2 things
that frost my butt...

It's a snow cone
about that high

and the other one
is Ryan Harrison.

I don't hear it, people!

[Whirring]

[Moaning]

[Coughs]

Aah!

[Driver falls on horn]

Uhh. Uhh.

Uhh!

Uhh!

Ohh!

Ohh.
Ohh.

[Siren]

[Squeak]

Pediatrics is just
down the street.

Mm-hmm.
Thank you.

[Thud]

P.A.: Dr. Kimble to surgery,
please.

Dr. Kimble.

Dr. Kevorkian.

Dr. Kevorkian
to Mr. Simpson's room.

[Explosion]

Man: A volcano has erupted!

Second man: Tornado!

Woman: Earthquake!

Man: It's El niño!

Woman: Killer bees!

Woman: An ocean liner
hit an iceberg!

Thank god you're here.

Uh, Dr. Sanchez,
because of cutbacks,

you are the only
person on duty.

Uh-huh.

He's pregnant.

Doctor, this man
has been shot 5 times.

Down at the end in
the "10 bullets or less" Lane.

I'll... I'll adjust that.

Maximum flow.

[Moaning]

Doctor, you better
take a look at this.

Uh, no, thank you.

Administer 200,000 units
of, uh, adrenaline.

But...

Butt? Damn your butt.

I said 200,000 ccs
of adrenaline.

Balance and rotate
the organs.

Put granny on the gurney.
Put the cop in post-op.

Icu?

And I see you.
You're a fine nurse.

I want to speak to you.

Oh, isn't that
a little fester blister

just below
your eye there?

Fester? Is it dangerous?

Let me get
a good look at that.

Walkie-talkie: Check in,
second-floor security.

Check in please, Jackson.

I'm searching
the west wing.

So far, no sign
of the intruder.

Ohh!

Oh! Nurse! Nurse!

Hold it!

Quick!

OK.

Let's go, let's go!

Walkie-talkie: Security,
look behind you.

What?

Look... look behind you.

Where?

Look behind you.

Oh, too late.

Go to radiology.

OK, we should be
safe for now.

I followed
the diaper truck.

As soon as I saw this hospital,
I knew you must be here.

Shh. Put your hand
in my pocket.

All right.

What am I looking for?

Nothing. I just
missed you, baby.

We're gonna party
like it's 1995.

Oh, Ryan.

I hoped you'd
say those words.

I love you.

Boy, you really are
something, aren't you?

You believed me
just then, didn't you?

How does it feel?
You lit up

like Dennis Rodman
at Christmastime.

You really are good.

I do love you, Ryan.
I truly do.

And you eat
with that mouth.

The Beatles
said it best.

She loves you,
yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, listen,
Michelle, ma belle,

this nowhere man is
the walrus, goo goo g'joob!

Up at the apartment,

you said you thought
I was innocent,

but then visions
of the big, fat reward

danced
through your head,

like sugarplums
on steroids!

You made a call,
you got a gat,

and you sicked
Johnny law on me!

You're just a big bully,
aren't you?

That gun was
for your protection.

I was calling the airlines
for you, you mean man.

I was trying to get you on the
first plane to South America.

I wish I had a quarter
pounder with cheese

every time I heard
that Chestnut.

Well, this little
nutcracker is not dancing

to your suite
anymore, Princess.

I found Lauren's letter
to Sean in your apartment.

Explain that!

Lauren knew Sean for
a long time. You knew that.

You knew she knew him.

Yes, I knew she knew.

Netanyahu?

I knew Lauren knew Sean.

Ryan: All right,
the truth at last.

Oh, Ryan, they're
the only family I have.

Please, please
don't make me choose

between you
and my family.

Family? Lauren's
your sister. And?

Sean is my brother.

Forgive me.

P.A.: Dr. Ross, Dr. Green,

Dr. Carter, Dr. Weaver,
and Dr. Benton,

please pick up a very
large check in the er.

[Siren]

A man fitting
Harrison's description

and wearing
a meat company shirt

had entered the er.

There are 1,400 beds,

a staff of 250,
150 individual rooms.

Chances of our finding Cass
and Harrison right off

are 9,103 to 5.

It is 3:05 P.M.

We should make contact
in 14 minutes,

which makes it exactly...
3:19 P.M.

Let's do it.

Records room,
records room.

Computer voice:
Access denied.

Air-conditioning duct.

Aha.

[Electric charge]

Aah! Aah! Ohh!

[Yelling]

[Suction]

Nurse Henderson.

Yes, doctor?

The guard Jackson...

[Squishing noises]

[Pop]

[Wood breaking]

Thank you.

[Hiss]

[Pop]

[Pop]

[Pop]

[Popping]

Aw.

Let me see.

Aah!

[Pfft]

Hmm.

Computer voice: Shalom.

Dr. Fridley?

Sit down.

Here it is.

Aye. It's a beauty.

It's a work of art.

The barrel is a lightweight
titanium alloy.

A retractable
Swiss laser scope.

A Rogers palomino trigger.

Self-cleaning pump action,

ribbed for you pleasure.

Aye.

The silencer...

A hush puppy.

[Beep]

Computer voice: Main menu.

Computer voice: Searching.

Print?

Thank you.
How are you today?

Getting any?

Did you hear the one
about nun and the rabbi?

Okay... okay... asshole!

Lauren: Good.
He's taken the bait.

[Horn honks
la cucaracha]

[La bamba
playing on radio]

[Horn honking
la cucaracha]

Give me a second!
I'm almost done!

[Man singing in Spanish
on radio]

[Police dispatch radio]

Go, go, go,
go, go, go!

[La bamba and la cucaracha
playing]

[Siren]

Lauren: We'll lead him
to the cornfield,

then we'll kill him.

[Hip-hop version
of la cucaracha playing]

[Music stops]

[Plane flying]

Ow!

[Buzz]

Cass.

This is some kind
of trap, isn't it?

Just like your sister
the night Hibbing was murdered.

I want you to understand
something.

I understand everything,
luscious.

I saw through your lies
like spam in a Ziploc bag.

I wish I could forget all
this and go away together.

We can go away right now.
I packed light.

Everything we need
is right here in my pants.

Listen to me. I was
abandoned as a child.

I never knew my mother
or my father.

I never knew my dog.

Yeah, pretty words,
baby crackers.

Your popiel pasta maker

is spewing out
fettuccine full of lies.

Well, what do we have here?

Lauren. Look, something even
the cat wouldn't drag in.

Pull up a bucket of
nightmares and sit down.

I've had enough of you.

It's time to dispose
of Ryan Harrison

the way I killed
my dear late husband.

I should have guessed
you did it, but I didn't.

Oh, Sean laughrea!

What a happy, big-time
family reunion!

You make the Mansons
look like the cleavers.

Family? What? Me?

Yes. I'm your sister.
Lauren's our mother.

I'm your mother's
identical twin.

Born 10 years apart,
but identical.

I killed your mother.
Penis envy.

She was a hermaphrodite.

Mom was my mother
and my father?

Sean's adopted.
I dated your father,

but chose the life
of a freedom fighter.

Well, miss
thick, lovely lips,

I found out about
Dr. Fridley's prosthetic leg.

One carbon steel barrel,

magazine of
cyanide-tipped bullets.

Nice new weapon,
right, Sean?

Signal yes by shooting
yourself in the head 3 times.

Don't.
It's a trick.

Very smart,
Harrison,

but this is where
smart ends

and dead begins.

You die.

[Gun cocks]

Ruth, as you can see,

the U.N. Secretary general
sir Robert Mckintyre

has arrived in
Columbia heights...

Lauren:
There's our target.

Cass: You killed Hibbing
and now Mckintyre?

I can't believe it.

I hope what I just told you

isn't going to keep you from
carrying out our mission.

Mckintyre is an enemy

to every freedom fighter
on this planet.

Yes. Of course.

I see you're right.

Good.

Let's go.

All right. I'm just
gonna finish packing

the terrorists' lunches
and I'll be right there.

See you in 5?

Ryan: Cass!

Cass!

Oof! [Thud] Unh!

[Mreeoow]

Cass. Shh.

When you shot me
at point-blank range,

I knew you loved me.

Those trophies back
at your apartment...

You're a crack shot.

I checked myself
for holes.

Just the usual ones.

You tricked them.
You were using blanks.

Yes. I had
to shoot you, Ryan.

Otherwise, they would
have murdered you.

After searching for my family,
I discovered they're terrorists.

And now they're trying
to kill my father.

Your father?

Yes. I just found out

my father is the secretary
general of the U.N.

Right. Two can play
at that game.

We'll set a trap.
You stay here.

If they change their plans,
get the word out right away.

If they realize I'm pretending
to be one of them,

they may try to kill me.

That's a chance I'll
have to take. Good luck.

Yaah!

Aah!

[Fiddle playing]

Announcer:
The Columbia heights jamboree

is proud to welcome
mayor John Stopka

and the United Nations
secretary general

sir Robert Mckintyre.

Sir Robert, right
after the drill team

you can begin
your speech.

Thank you,
mayor Stopka.

[Drumming]

[Bagpipes playing]

Ho-up!

[Shouting orders]

Hup!

Oh... unh!

Oh!

Unh!

[Applause]

Look out! He's got a leg!

[Screaming]

Ohh...

Yaah!

Ryan!

Oh, shite.

Cass!

Ryan, come on.
Hurry. This way.

All right, sir.
This way.

Come on, daddy.
Come with me.

Daddy?

[Thud]
Unh!

[Clang]
Unh!

Cass: Get in! Get in!

Get the bloody Van!

Plan "b" a go!
"B" a go!

It's Ryan, the bastard,
and Mckintyre's with him!

Ryan, look out!

Oh, my god, it's Sean!

He's got a gun! Go! Go!

Kill him!

[Engine sputtering]

Oh, no! A stinger?!

Get back! What a day.
What a day.

Let's go!

That Van over there!

My gun! Come on!

All right, quick! Over there.
Move it. Quick now.

[Machine gun firing]

Over here!
Get your head down!

Get down! Get down!

There's plenty of room!
Get in there!

Move it!

[Hiss]

[Engine starts]

[Glass shatters]

[Engine sputtering]

Damn!

Come on!

Drop your guns!
Drop 'em!

What?
Huh?

Give 'em up!

[Irish fiddle music
playing]

[Panting]

Hey, nice work.

Good one.

Fergus: Stay with me people.

Laughrea!

Ryan: Fergus falls,

here's the one-armed,
one-legged, one-eyed man.

You frightened, punk, huh?

Did I fire the last bullet

or is there another one
in the chamber

with your name on it?

Does the thought of death
play with your mind... punk?

Do you gots to know?

Well... you got lucky.

There are no more bullets
in the chamber.

[Gunshot]

Unh!

Whoops. My mistake.

Well, Lauren, you'll pay
the highest price of all.

Where you're going, those
wet lips and hot kisses

will be falling on deaf ears
for a long time to come.

They're all yours, falls.
Tied up tight...

Like a bride on
her honeymoon night.

And so our tracks have
finally come together.

It's time to drive
the golden spike.

Ryan Harrison, I say to you

on behalf of law enforcement
all over the world,

you were wrongfully accused.

Hmm?

All right,
people, move 'em out!

Ryan!

Cass!

Close your eyes.

Now, don't worry.

I trust you.

Whoa. Keep
your eyes closed.

Ohh...

Now, open your eyes.

I feel like I'm flying.

[Clang]