Woochi (2009) - full transcript

Jeon Woo-chi, an undisciplined womanizing Taoist from the Joseon era, ends up in present day Korea causing mayhem with his knack for magic.

CJ Entertainment and
United Pictures present

a ZIP CINEMA production
Produced by LEE Eugene

a CHOI Dong'-hoon film

In the beginning

man and beast dwelled
peacefully on the earth

Goblins were held within
a dark, heavenly prison

The mighty Arch god
blew The Pipe for 3000 days

and repressed the goblins

The prison doors had to be
opened on the 3000th day

but by the miscalculation
of three lowly Taoist gods

they were opened
one day too soon.



Did we get the date wrong?

Something?s wrong.

It's been 3000 days...
Right?

Just then,

the evil within the goblins
was awakened

and these evil forces
engulfed the Arch gods Pipe.

All of the goblins
desired to be The Pipes master.

Having lost The Pipe
the Arch god was consumed by evil

and fell to the earth.

- Arch god!
'- What do we do?

- Your Highness!
'- Arch god, sir

Your Highness!

Yes, a monk catching goblins.
I see...

So why didn't you exercise
with the others yesterday?



I'll let you in on something.
Human life is up to the stars.

But they think
it's DNA these days.

Is exercise really that good?

Lots of old people die
from overexertion,

but they keep jogging anyway.

You might disagree,
since You're a doctor.

MEGALOMANIA
Must have been fun being a god.

Not past tense.
I still am a god.

It's a duty, not fun
Were all the same.

We all laugh and cry
Get annoyed.

Lose hope every few centuries.

So I made a pill
to forget everything.

And I took it.

Aches here and there,
memories fading...

Then I wandered the streets.

It says that you were homeless.

Solely out of choice.

Good'-looking boy there.

But I come here
and get more pills.

So I took them.
These antidepressants.

But laced with dopamine.

These counteracted my pill.

So now my memory
is back, as a god.

And what did you do
when you were a god?

I told you,
I'm still a god!

We look for goblins.

And then go ask him
to catch them.

This will hurt.

The wound will settle
by tomorrow.

Thank you, sir

- How old are you?
'- Nine years old, sir

Oh...

Well now, take good care of
your grandfather,

- all right?
'- Yes, sir.

What about me?

What about my wound?

Yes, of course

Going somewhere?

I am.

But you'll only get half.

I see.

Why are you empty'-handed?

I'm sorry, Master

The young fool couldn't be
more unruly or violent, sir

The wound is not deep.

Seems the fool was
quite gentle with you.

Prepare to set off.

I see your students
are getting roughed up.

Yes, I sent them to bring
an arrogant young wizard

so that I could
set him straight.

Such students can
only be of little help...

I have yet to
perfect my teachings.

But if only it weren?t for
those three ridiculous gods.

After 3000 days
they couldn't wait one more.

And just opened the doors.

You know them, right?

We know them very well.

Great tea!

Indeed!
It just tickles one's taste buds.

Frankly, It's just hot

Because it's supposed to be.

It's getting dark.
Let us hurry.

Why don't you
finish your tea first?

It's quite good.

Sure

I rushed it, didn't I?

Consumed by evil
the Arch god and goblins

fled to the earth and hid
in human bodies.

They no longer remembered
their pasts or true identities.

Rumors spread that only
the one with The Pipe

could rule the goblins.

So you've finally found
the Arch gods Pipe?

They say a wizard
in Jeonra Province

discovered it four days ago
and was soon murdered.

There was green blood
all around the scene

and we?ve followed
that blood here.

I will capture the goblin
and return The Pipe to you.

We can't since
we made a mista...

- Not that
'- Of course not.

Please guard The Pipe
Master Hwadam.

We cannot trust
these other petty wizards.

No, of course not

There's something
up on the roof.

Arrow.

Is it a goblin?

- I Don't...
'- Just shoot it first.

Wait a second.

Only goblins run on roofs
at this time of night.

- Master Hwadam, shoot it
'- No, wait

- Is it a goblin?
'- Just one minute.

- Wait. Wait.
'- I'm looking...

But it wouldn?t be
running around in goblin form...

Goblin!
It's a goblin!

Master Hwadam!
Shoot it!

Compose yourself
for a god?s sake!

A talisman?

Did you ask anyone else
to catch the goblins?

Of course not.

And is this arrow not ours?

- It was stolen.
'- By whom?

That scoundrel Woochi.

Woochi?

WOOCHI

Here comes His Grace
the Prince of the Heavens!

Show him your respect!

King of the land

have you sent ten thousand
gold coins to the areas of famine?

Yes, your Grace

Just as you had
commanded in my dreams.

You needn't worry, my lord

The Heavens smile
upon your good deeds.

Whence you return to the Heavens

sevenfold

seventy

seven hundredfold
will you be repaid.

I have also brought out
the royal treasures as you requested.

Brighter than you look, earthly king

But where are all the maidens?

Why for the maidens, my lord?

Why not?

The Heavens frown upon idleness.

They may as well pour me a drink.

I do not care for this music.

How many times do you
visit the stalls each day?

May I humbly inform you...

Don't be so humble. Tell me, girl

Once every three days.

And you?

Thrice a day, your Grace

Healthy girl
you may pour my drink.

Earthly king
raise your head.

I have always delighted
in painting.

When I paint a tree
it begins to grow.

When I paint a beast
it leaps out of the parchment.

Such talent
wasting away!

What say you?

The painting breathes
life and greatness, my lord!

And that Ione horse seems to
symbolize the solitude of man!

- That's absurd.
- You are right...

- It is a horse for the wizard Woochi
- Yes, a horse for the wizard Woo...

Woochi?

- Woochi, the scoundrel?
- So you've heard of me!

I can't go anywhere now
with all this tiring fame.

You dare mock the king
you lowly trickster?

Watch it.

I am a wizard.

What is a wizard, you ask?

A ruler of the winds

a bringer of rain
on dry lands

who leaps through space

and governs the world
with a swift blade

but handles that sword

like a gentle flower.

A wizard's duty
is to aid the helpless.

The head is where
all decay begins!

The king and his subjects
have failed the starving people.

Thus I, the wizard Woochi,
am here to do their bidding.

I do not expect praise for this
mind you.

I wonder what will happen to you
if I strike the neck of this bottle.

I will be taking the kings mirror.

Order all the wizards of the land
to catch this imbecile Woochi!

Let me see, now

Woochi.

It's tonight.
The widows going to the temple.

Now all we need is
the bronze knife, right?

Just kidnap a widow for them

and well get the knife, eh?

Don't look.

You'll regret it
if you see your true self.

Jerk.

Such greatness a wizard has

with the mirror
and knife in his hand!

- Did you see her?
- Sure did

Just the back.

But boy
was it delicate and fine!

And a woman is no woman
without a fine back.

You really saw
Master Hwadam?

I saw him soar
through the sky!

Husband died
on their wedding night.

That's why Hwadam
of the West is best!

- Why, he treats the sick and
- Well, now

I heard a more
renowned wizard

from Pyongyang resolved
the famines...

Nonsense.
Hwadam of Kaesong is the best.

They have wizards
in Pyongyang?

I think his name was
Woo... something.

Hey, Master said never to
reveal our names!

- A nobleman by the name of...
- Woochi, you imbecile!

That's it. Woochi!

The great Master Hwadam
has sent us here

to bring you to justice
for deriding the king

and stealing
ten thousand gold coins!

Scoundrel!

Need a hand?

I'm fine.

There?s one missing.

Could Hwadam
still be the best?

No, sir
Your name, great nobleman?

The name of this wizard you see...

Good sir!

What am I to do
with my tavern in ruins?

- And what am I to do?
- Pay.

How much?

Twenty silvers!

I seldom carry money on me.

- We beat them!
- I beat them.

It was a joint effort.
You hit and I threw!

Let's go!
To kidnap that widow.

Here?

But my back is acting up lately.

Don't make me tie you
to the backyard again.

But the smoke is bad
for my sinuses.

Hey, look at that!

A widow will curse a household.

Should you fail, use this

We won't, madam

I'll find some men

to take along as witnesses

We will be back soon

It won't take long, my lady
Were gathering more men.

Okay.

You're climbing
that mountain of death?

People go up, but no one
ever comes back down.

I'll join you.

I've got nothing better to do.

You may be tall, but
you Don't look too strong.

I may not be strong,
but I can wield a sword.

- But you Don't have one
- Right you are. I need a sword.

Darn fool.
He thinks as if he were Woochi.

Ah, Woochi!

Although not as brave as he
I will still join you.

My back is killing me.

When are we taking her?

Just over that hill now.

Get them!

Bandits!

Nurse!

What is this?

Are they after the widow?

How about this?

You go get the widow
while I take care of them.

Hurry and turn me back.

Come on!
Snap those fingers!

Go learn some skills
instead of wasting my time!

Nurse!

Get out of my way!

I... I'm...

No, wait...

I'm...

Nurse!

Help me!

Cursed is the widows household!

- Why are you?
- Cursed is the widows...

Are you all right?

Why do you keep following me?

Well, it's not an easy thing to say.

I've come for you...

Me?
For me?

Yes.

You have...

- feelings for me?
- Yes. What?

Please tell me.

Do I have a place
in your heart?

Somewhere...

- Around here...
- I knew it.

I always sensed that
someone like you would come.

That is a lovely scent...

While I'm catching
all the bandits

you're over here
celebrating at a time like this?

A widow will curse the household!

What is she rambling about?

Wow.
She's a looker!

Pray tell
who is this gentleman?

That is no man.
Only a beast.

Only figuratively speaking,
of course.

Call me Chorangyi.

You even smell nice!

Hug me too, please.

Such uncouth company
can only do you harm, good sir

I can't agree with you more.

Uncouth?

Just hurry and wrap her up.

Nice guys like us
are a rare breed, lady

Good work.

I guess Fathers hip
has healed already.

Tell me where
the bronze knife is.

Oh, that.

A wagon of birthday gifts
went to the dukes mansion.

Must have slipped in there.

Well, I told you where.

The duke?

Should we go there then?

The word of a learned man
seldom has much value.

I'm the nurse!

Who are you, intruder?

Compliments on the
fine hearing, old man

There should be a nice
bronze knife here somewhere.

You brought me
the wrong girl, fool

No, you just chose
the wrong person

Assassins!

Protect the master!

What are you doing with that?

Don't!

Assassin?
Don't be ridiculous.

No one's killing anyone!

Quit bouncing back and forth!

Where's the bronze knife?

- What's this?
- What is it?

Have you any idea who he is?!

That creature is not your father.

How dare you!

Father...
That knife?!

Seize them immediately!

He's trying to dig me
a grave tonight.

Why is he following me?

I see.

Time for me to change!

Can't see!

Are you okay?

Of course!

Where'd that dirty rat
run off to?

Gosh, he's fast

Woochi!
Look out!

Back!

Woochi!

Why I oughta...

Woah! Hot!

Woochi!

You fool!

Woochi!

Woochi!

Get up!

Woochi!

- You wicked little...
- Woochi...

There goes another
perfectly good talisman.

I thought you were really dead!

Get that away!

Now I've seen it all.

Why, that one's a rabbit!

Get out of the way!

That little...

I'll get you.

Oh, yeah!
The arrow!

Huh?

- Woochi?
- The scoundrel?

A talisman...
Is the East Priory still?

Well get to that.
First let us get The Pipe!

I believe that goblin

will not have The Pipe.

Two goblins captured,"
and yet still no Pipe!

This is impossible.

A wizard and a strange man
were seen running away with The Pipe.

Master!

Why not just use a spell
and save yourself the trouble, sir?

My boy...

Magic is only an illusion.

Gathering roots
has no need for it.

Silly me!

That goblin blew this Pipe
and summoned another goblin?

Yes, Master

And the goblin made you
bring him that widow?

Uh-huh.

Why did you
kidnap her for him?

Well, because...
Woochi said not to tell you.

Was he after that mirror
and knife again?

No!

And you followed thinking
he?d make you human.

The book says those things
will make him the strongest wizard.

Then he can make me human.

Two dull peas in a pod.

It's not enlightenment he seeks.
Only fame.

Precisely, Master
That's why I asked him

how he could be so arrogant.

But he says
Why can't we live amongst men

and enjoy life?
That old fart knows nothing.

That's you, Master

And I tried and tried
to stop him

but he's so stubborn.

To shun Taoist solitude
and dream of Confucian success

is just a waste of a dream.

If you Don't know that
you Don't know reality

and you Don't know
what you really know. You know?

What in the world
are you saying?

Master...

Master
are you all right?

I was avenging your death
in my dream.

What's wrong with him?

Even he must have a conscience, Master

I kissed the widow, too

And he's still a bit drunk.

I send you on errands
but instead you go to the palace.

You dare ridicule the king
and start brawls with goblins!

And even kidnap a widow?

It's what we wizards do, old man

We wizards?

I will say this only once.

You do not possess
the makings of a true wizard.

All in due time, Master.
Have some patience.

But why not?

You do not know
how to empty your soul.

Honestly, is that even possible?"

What do you do after a meal?

I start digesting.

After a meal

you must first wash
the empty plates, you fool

Where are we?

The temple of the closed East Priory.

Shall we?

- Wait here.
- Yes, Master.

You can't just
walk in here.

Get out!

What is this?

Are you the fool
that calls himself Woochi?

Who do you think You're...

You're speaking to
the great Master Hwadam.

Master Hwadam
what brings you here?

- You...
- Me, sir?

- You're not a man...
- Well, I'm many things...

A dog

I take it You're Woochi

It's useless trying to
hide one's name from fame.

Good character is fundamental
in training one's mind and spirit.

To bring peace
to this world...

I've already had
enough lessons today.

The insolence being uttered
in front of such virtuous presence!

Think before you speak.
We are holy Taoist gods.

Are you glaring down at us?

You look ready to even hit us!

Go ahead, hooligan
Try me.

A fly!

Atrocity!

There was no fly!

A mole.

A true wizard does not
disturb the peace with pranks!

Where is The Pipe?

Do come inside for some tea.

Yes, some tea.

How did he know
that I'm a dog?

Master Hwadam.
Impressive.

Didn't you just see him
running away?

The spiritual discipline of the East Priory
is now taught with magic tricks?

I have taught him nothing.
He mastered them on his own.

Rain is bound to pour
through your torn roof, sir

Yes, but it also let's in the sun

The sun...

A true wizard is said to be one

with nature and the heavens

I hope to become
the light for this world.

I believe Master Hwadam of the West
wishes to acquire The Pipe.

Our three gods
have requested my services

and it also troubles me
to trust other wizards.

A worry that we share.

There could very well be
a goblin among us wizards.

I was told that the blood
of goblins is green, sir

- Goodness gracious!
- Gentlemen, please!

What shall we do...

I've heard that only Taoist gods
can reattach this pipe.

Yes, that's correct.

Then this is fortunate.
Now we need not worry about goblins.

Dividing The Pipe in half...

- This also works.
- That's true.

Yes, it does

So you really kissed
the widow in your dream?

- Worked out well.
- Yes.

Are you up, my lady?

Yes, good sir

Chorangyi, show our guests out

Yes, Master

Don't forget this, sir

- Good dog
- Gosh, that water was cold!

Should I go and
drag that mutt back?

Send the woman back home.

She will die
if she goes back!

Keep away from her, for she is
more than you can bear.

My head!

What did you mean
when you said I'll only get half?

Don't ask me
what you already know!

Why are you saying that
I already know the answer?

Hwadam will get The Pipe!

You'll get it all right.

But after a moment
you will wait for ages.

If the peach blossoms
Don't bloom on your side.

Peach blossoms?

Impudent old hag!
I am a man of spiritual enlightenment!

What good is enlightenment?

You Don't even know your own self.

Where did that
old woman come from?

She was a shaman
but her mind is fading...

Hwadam will get The Pipe!

He is quite the foolish creature
but will take you safely home.

Thank you for your kindness.

No need, Madam

Master.

Why must I
keep away from her?

She will lead you
to your grave.

- Sir?
- Focus, you ninny!

Feet off the eaves.

Yes, sir
Feet off the eaves.

Good sir!
Thank you for everything!

Yes, my lady
See you again.

Why is my blood...

What is it?

The tea you asked for, Master

- Put it over there
- Yes, Master

- Green blood.
- I saw it too.

An empty household.

Is someone there?

What's that sound?

There, there
It's okay.

I was so startled!

Is the horse treating you well?

It is indeed a strange creature.

It won't go forward
and just keeps eating.

That's all this filthy swine
knows to do.

I've spoiled him too much.

When will he learn?
I've spoiled him too much.

Have you come because
you were worried for my safety?

It is no matter
for I will protect you.

Dying doesn't seem so bad
compared to my tedious life.

I am just sad
I have yet to see the ocean.

- Would you like to see it?
- Now?

Come down, my lady

Take a deep breath.

And let it out.

Why?

Because this...

is the ocean!

This... is this the ocean?

Of course.
But Don't go into the water.

What lies beyond the end?

Well, there...
There's more ocean.

So this is your first time as well.

Rather, it is just that
when I look at the ocean

I wonder
how I will empty my soul

who I truly am
how I shall live...

As do I.

If I am born again
I?d like to be a commoner.

I would dance and sing...

No more sewing
or reading books.

What is this sound?

Did I chant the wrong spell?

You mustn?t go into...

How did?

Well, I am a wizard

What exactly is a wizard?

He is a ruler of the winds.

A bringer...

You shouldn't get too close.

But he's very sweet.

He's a real filthy one.

Oh my!

It's okay.
I'm very clean.

- Are you all right?
- Hey, she likes me

I know women.
She likes me.

How would you know that?

I felt it through my back.

Allow me, my lady.
He's a dog, not a steed

Want to try me
without those talismans?

You little mutt.

Please stop!

Men become friends just as easily
as they become enemies.

Save the fairy tales for humans.

You really should see someone
about that rash temper.

Master told me not to use violence

Forgive me, Master

I'll try to be gentle.

Are you all right?

Oh, of course
Nothing to worry about.

Have a seat, maam
It won?t take long.

Hey, relax your muscles!

It's gonna break!
I said, relax

Call me a mutt in public?
This is animal brutality!

What is he?

I keep him around
for amusement

but he mostly
just amuses himself.

I see.

To heck if I give this
back to you now.

You're not the only one
that can do magic with talismans!

Are you all right, sir?

Yes, I'm fine.

What happened to
emptying your soul, huh?

How can anyone
empty their soul, you idiot?

I Don't have to
take this treatment.

He's actually helpless
without these talismans.

- You want to bet?
- Sure.

Fine.
I'll knock this over.

Some other time.

Shall we?

Yes.

What's wrong with him?

The half-pipe has
devoured Hwadam.

Now do you see your true self?

I am Hwadam.

And I am the master of The Pipe.

The Pipe now answers
to no master.

Even the great Arch god himself.

If you would a token

of your feelings...

A token?

Token...

It is quite handy
if You're to meet again.

Oh, not this one
It is evil to the core.

Some other token.

Woochi
the scoundrel?

That's right.

I'm Woochi, the scoundrel

I have defeated not only the king
but many a deceitful noblemen.

Should this woman ever be saddened
I will surely return.

Also, if she is forced to read

or forced to sew
I will surely return.

Do you hear me?

Yes.

Will she be all right?

Sure.

They won?t touch her
after the psychotic fit just now.

Now we just need to find
the bronze knife, right?

Then You'll become
the greatest wizard

- and I'll finally be real human
- Poor, oblivious mutt...

Ingrate!

You dare slay your master
and steal the sacred Pipe?!

Five hundred years in captivity
will teach you a lesson!

What are you talking about?

Slay my master?

See?
I told you he?d say that.

We?ve got him shackled
so let us seal him in.

How could we possibly hurt Master?

Is Master okay?

What?s happening?

That is Masters fan...

You mustn?t make your master
wait for you any longer.

Please, help me!

I didn't get to pee yet!

Shoot?

Shoot the zither case?

Hwadam!

The Pipe!

You're not supposed to
seal The Pipe, too!

You should?ve stopped halfway!

You sound as if
I was the only one chanting.

At least goblins won?t appear
for the next five hundred years.

Another five centuries to go
in order to see the Arch god again.

What happens
if the Arch god blows The Pipe?

Why, the world will be healed!"

Goblins will fall to hell,"

and the mighty Arch god
will rise once again.

And we can finally
return to the heavens.

But after a moment,
you will wait for ages.

Master Hwadam.

Where are you going?

The gourd bottle.

- If the goblins return,
- Wait, Master Hwadam...

we will meet again.

Yes?

Did you send them up?

Okay.

You must be happy.
You have visitors.

And You'll hospitalize me afterwards?

Yes.

Just think of it
as a nice vacation.

But I'm too busy.

- Should I take him, Doctor?
- Yes.

What?s keeping you
so busy, sir?

Just many things
to take care of.

Very bad!
Hold out your hand.

Why?

You can't see
he's cheating on you, that's why!

I'll only hit you twice.

Whenever he goes to Pusan now
he's going to the other woman.

The reason why
your husband is cheating is...

You, you crazy old wench!

The dead cat on your back

is scaring them away!

On my back?

I didn't say my back, did I

Too many sins
in your past life.

You killed the emperor!
Poisoned his coffee!

Don't ever make coffee again.

Next.

- How much should I...
- This filthy talk of money!

Leave all of that
dirty money here.

What?

Behind you...

Leave now.

Hello?

Holy Jesus!

Why would it break?

If only Master Hwadam
were still around.

We haven?t seen him for ages.

Last I heard
he was on Mount Jiri.

Let's just do it ourselves.

We can't possibly
catch them ourselves!

Why the hell not?

But there are two goblins?

They slipped inside two humans.

Came out of their skins.

Didn't I tell you
that I found them?

I see.
Where did you find these skins?

In front of the hospital.

The hospital?

Uh-huh.

Well, that took you
foolish gods long enough.

What took you so long?

Hurry or not
we get yelled at anyway.

What did you do
with the stupid bottles?

I didn't do anything.

- That's the problem.
- Why is that a problem?

You bought a car?

What happened to ascetic life
and shunning worldly things?

It's a matter of standards.
We just have different standards.

Come on, gentlemen
We should be setting a plan.

Hwadam is gone
so we should ask someone else.

Someone else, who?

Right!

No, no
I won?t!

I Don't even wanna look at him.

One visits the temple
to meet Buddha

not the temple monks.

That bastard is no Buddha.
He murdered his own master!

Don't even think
about bringing that up.

Or the fact that
we haven?t found Hwadam yet.

Catch the goblins!
Then well set you free!

Buy him a drink
scratch him where it itches.

Set him free?

- Were gonna seal him back in.
- Sure.

How can we lie?

We are holy beings.
We should keep our word.

Give him a noble title.

Noble title, my ass

Come on.

Did you bring your Bible?

No, of course not

Let's try again.

And again.

Are you all right?

Woochi
good sir!

You must be disoriented
after five centuries of sleep

but can you recognize us?

Water.

A drink.
Give him a drink!

Sir, the goblins have returned
Thus the heavens ordered

free the wizard Woochi
and he will capture them!

Then You'll be set free
and attain great fame.

Why should I?

Why?

Well, Woochi the scound...
Woochi the wizard

is mighty and great.
The peoples hero!

Beloved by all.

Unmatched in power...

- Knows style and elegance?
- What?

Yes, of course!

Knows style, elegance
is courageous and brave.

The very standard of righteousness!

So why not catch some goblins
and enjoy this world once more?

- I Don't feel like it.
- Don't feel like it?

Why would I go through
all that trouble

when I'm already free?

Why Don't you?

We can defeat goblins!
No doubt about it!

You can?

Then why must I
capture them?

Yes.
Why must he?

Because well give you a title.

Yes!
A noble title!

A title?

High Wizard.

Of the Royal Wizard Priory.

Wow!

Royal Wizard Priory?

But I've yet to find
the bronze knife.

Could I still be worthy
of such a title?

More than worthy!

So, shall we, Master?

Where is Hwadam?

He passed away ages ago.

Someone is coming.

Is there a back door?

What for?

We must first run.

Will you not fight?

No talismans.

Start the car!

- I knew it!
- Here is the door!

He's here!

What is this?

There are no shackles.

If you believe so
it becomes so.

You cannot see it
but you cannot escape it.

- What is this?
- It is like a steed.

That's more confusing.
Just push him.

Where are the talismans?

- With Chorangyi.
- Chorangyi?

Grab him.

- What?
- Get in.

Where is it?

With Chorangyi!

- Who?s Chorangyi?
- The mutt!

Chorangyis painting.

- Chorangyis painting?
- Yes!

- I threw it away when I moved.
- What?

Yeah, it's me

Remember those paintings
I gave you?

No, not the pretty one
The one with the man and the dog.

- You sold it?
- I sold it.

I'll stay on the line.
Hurry and look for it.

How this land has changed!

But humans never change.

Death can come knocking
at any moment

but just look at them!

They waste their lives
chasing after desire

when one must seek
spiritual enlightenment.

Namas Avalokite? Vara
Bodhisattva...

What do men do now
to win a lady?s heart?

Going down on one knee
is a sure thing.

Go down?

Sure.

- Women like James Bond.
- James Bond? Romance?

Says who?
That's all lies.

You still believe
those lies women tell you?

They want diamonds and the works
under their little chins.

Come on.
Eyes ahead!

- I found it.
- Found it?

109 Dapsip district?

Found it?

- But it's closed.
- What now?

Break in!

What is wrong
with those maidens?

They are announcing
the opening of a new venue.

Ah, a brothel?

A tavern that sells
pigs meat, sir

The king of this land
is crazy as well.

There is no king now.

It's the truth.

Many terrible things happened
throughout history and...

Turn right!

Eyes ahead!

What the hell?!

Open your eyes!

It's okay.
We can't die!

What about Woochi?

- Are you okay, sir?
- Shh.

I'm emptying my soul.

Hey, it worked!
No talismans!

- Okay, sir.
- Watch out ahead!

Sir Woochi!

Sir Woochi!

- Faster, faster!
- Okay, okay.

- No, slow down
- Slow down.

Speed up!

Slow down!

This was such a bad idea!

Give me your hand!

- Is he in?
- He's in!

- Behind us!
- Where?!

Hit the gas!

Ahead!

The bus!

- Third lane!
- Okay!

- Turn right!
- Let me signal first.

Just turn right!

It worked!

Hit the brakes!

Building 109.

Let's go, sir

Building 109.

- Building 109.
- This way?

Over there!

Were coming, Chorangyi

- It's here.
- We found it!

Where?s Woochi?

He was here.

Go get him.
Well go find Chorangyi.

Master!

Master?

Master!
Run for it!

Found it.

You found it?

Found it!

Let's chant.

Were short one.

Yes?

- Were going to chant on the phone.
- Now?

I think I broke my back!

That's okay.

Double-time!
Start!

Darn this smoke!

- Chorangyi.
- Where are the talismans?

Woochi!
Long time no see.

Here are your talismans!

I need to pee.

- Chorangyi!

- But I need to pee.

All right.

Nice tune.

Time for me to change!

- Woah, Woochi!
- Go get them!

You're doing great, Master!

Be careful, Master!

Sir Woochi!

Are you okay?

- Should I help?
- I can handle it.

Now I'm really
going to change.

It's about time!

What's with this one?

No, turn
Turn around.

Behind you.

That's it.

- Turn around.
- Turn around, idiot

- Go with them.
- Go!

Which one's the real Woochi?

Looks like I have to step in
as always.

Let's have some fun
shall we?

There you go!

It'll snap, you wench!

Where?s a log?

Wait!
- Shoo!

Duck!

It's okay.

Good.

Let's put away the goblins.

Woochi and Chorangyi, too

- Master Woochi!
- Superb! Marvelous!

Go seal in the goblins.

We did it!

We?
I did it.

There you go again.
I snapped that wenchs wrist.

- Didn't you hear it?
- Master!

- The goblin is not here!
- Uh?

It's gone.

Just as I thought, mutt.

Hey!
Where are you going?

Woochi!

What was that?

- Did you hit someone?!
- Yea...

No. No.

We need Woochi!

What is this psycho
wearing at this time of night?

You're right.
He's crazy.

He's dead, right?

Don't open the door.

You shouldn't
go out in these situations.

- He's getting up!
- Oh my god!

- Give me your card.
- Send him to the hospital.

You're okay, right?

Get yourself treated first
and then call this number.

Your eyes...

Sir?

They still carry the ocean.

Are you drunk?

Woochi!

And now what?

Go to the hospital.

It's her!

Covering up is useless
Yes, I'm the famous actress

What the?!

Don't come into the car.
I'll give you an autograph.

Master
you mustn?t harass the people.

- That's right, step off
- I'm sorry. I'll close...

- Wait, the actress?
- Yes, it's me

Step on it!

The widow!

Hey, look at me

What ocean?
All I see is my face.

He was just being nice
probably.

Crazy bastard.

Hand me my hat.

Sure.

I Don't want
to shoot today.

What a strange world.

Hey.

Why would Hwadam
kill Master?

He must be planning something.

- Could he be here too?
- He's gone.

That is why they
summoned me.

Look who's gotten smarter.

I can't help
what comes naturally.

Hold on.

Green blood!

Smell's good.

Why is someone lying here
on the ground?

He needs help.

Master, not now

Believe in the Lord.

This way, Master

Who feeds the people
if there is no king?

- No king?
- Corporate...

Modern-day merchants.

They built
all these tall buildings.

Don't jest with me.

Merchants are corrupt fiends
by nature.

Yet you say
they are feeding the people?

Such a land is destined
for grief and ruin.

Is this booze as well?

That is why an exalted man

came to save us
from our sins.

Am I that exalted man?

No, he is Jesus Christ

He protects us with a power

unimaginable and unmatched.

Then why did you not ask
this Jesus instead of me?

He must have been busy.

This is the blood of Christ.
The quite tasty blood.

This is someone?s blood?

Very nice and tasty.

That's perfume, Master!
- Is it delicious?

This way, sir
The green blood is that way.

- Sad that I was...
- I want some!

How happy I now am!
- I want some!

- This way.
- What is that?

That is also a steed of sorts.

What is this place?

It's where lives are wasted, sir

I highly approve of this.

What the hell?

Come on

Come on, let's go.

Rest in peace.

You did the right thing.

I think I found a way
to see her again.

? I didn't ask you for food
I didn't ask you for clothes.

? only offered you
a harmless little drink.

? Looks can deceive

? so Don't give me that look.

- What is this...
- Blast it!

Traitor!

It was all for the country.

For the country...

Selling your country
is for the country?s good?

You said you'd leave
on the next train.

- I lost my ticket.
- I lost my ticket.

And now you've lost me.

And now youth lust me.

You said you loved me.

Was it all a lie?

They were only sweet nothings.

Farewell, my love

What are you doing?
Shoot me!

Bye-bye, my love!

Cut!

It's freezing!

- Misfired! No good, right?
- That was great!

I smell an Oscar!

Aren't there any shots for lisps?

Everything was off.

But the walking is the worst.

I know.

These shoes...

Don't fit.

I'm gonna get so many blisters!

- Bring me the other shoes.
- Right away!

You have to sing like Audrey

- and run like Marilyn.
- And when I shoot?

Shoot like...

How hard could this be?

And what's this?

My shoes!

Right away!

- Shoes!
- I'm coming!

Shoot like Angelina Jolie.

Then how about paying me
like them?

It's nothing against you, though

These shoes are wasting
everyone?s time.

They came out a bit small.

Get bigger ones instead of
forcing me into their standards!

What is she doing?

Look! She can't even tell
between left and right!

Silly me.

Don't lean on it!

Seems like the shackles
are gone, eh?

What is this?

Wherever you go
we can always summon you back.

Get the art director!

What are you doing?

I saw someone there,
and they went splat!

These are too small.

They Don't fit?

Go get these in
one size bigger.

Okay.

You're Korean,
for heaven?s sake! Quickly!

Koreans go quickly, quickly.
I got it.

You'll never get them off.

You will undo these shackles
once I catch you your goblins?

Of course!

Where'd you learn
to dance like that?

In the mountains!

You wanna get together
sometime?

How?

That Woochi should've done
a better job.

How did things go?

Did they catch it?

Yeah, they got it

Tell him to be careful
with the bottle.

That nincompoop
probably gave him trouble.

And tell him
we need The Pipe!

Master, we need that pipe

- How tiring this is!
- This is a picture, too?

You shouldn't!

Master?!

Wait.
I think it's this way.

How would you know?

It's just instinct.

Oh, that's reassuring
It's this way.

And how do you know?

I spent over a century
just telling fortunes.

It's got an eerie vibe
like that underground prison.

Why are you bringing
that up again?

No!

What a believable performance!

Sneaking off set
and taking a nap.

Look!

Look at how You're
stressing out

my skin and making it sag!

Yeah, it is

What?

No, I meant
You're still gorgeous.

Just go get me coffee,
black and strong.

Sure.
One cup of strong coffee.

Great job, sir

It's hardly a job.

I'll find it for you.

There it is!
It's your picture, see?

She's obsessed with you.

Woah...

That's mine.

She basically flirts with
anything that moves.

I heard you asked the director
if you could audition, too!

I was just being polite.

Being polite?

Just how far
will you go to be polite?

Here?s your coffee.

I'm set.
You drink that.

Okay.

What's that?

Great picture.

It looks like some resort.

I'm gonna go there someday.

In-kyung.

Why Don't we go someday
just the two of us?

- You like that?
- Sure...

Could we get a comment, sir?

We hope this investigation
will clear some suspicions

regarding bribery in congress
and art collections

of major corporations.

We heard the verdict
was already bought.

That is false.

Are you sure this isn't
another wild-goose chase?

I assure you, it is not.

Did you see that?

I saw it.

The bronze knife
of all the places!

- Should we head over?
- Of course.

How'd it get from the dukes
mansion to there?

Hey!

How'd you get in here?

I've only come
for the bronze knife.

You're brothers?
Who's older?

He's got a finer coat.

Don't mind us and go play
with your brother.

Why are those ropes
around their necks?

He's got spunk, eh?

It's your lucky day.

Why can't he see it
right in front of him?

Beats me.

Please provide identification.

This nobleman is known
as Woochi.

Please provide identification.

Isn't that enough?

Should I tell her
your hometown?

It's all right.

A highly-renowned wizard
of Pyongyang

Master.

Student of the East Priory Master

and soon-to-be High Wizard.

The nobleman who speaks
before you is I, Woochi

Please provide identification.

That's enough, damn wench!
Step aside.

Relentless hag!

Show yourself
evil wench!

Let me smell
for some bronze.

I knew I smelled apples.

Very nice picture.

This time we'll catch him and
lock him up for seven centuries.

Humans will be gone
after seven centuries.

Wanna hear something funny?

I saw a doctor last week.
Know what he said?

Told me to quit smoking.
I'm dying of cancer.

Me, with cancer!

I'm dying!

What an idiot.

Hey, blood!

He looks familiar.

Summon Woochi.

Yeah.

The phone!

Get the phone, man!

Why's it so loud there?

Summon Woochi!

Summon him!

Master Woochi!

Found it.

I found it!

Now we have it all.

Start chanting!
You hear me?

Chant! Okay
Summon me, too

Why can't it even
cut through this?

Start!

You sure that's
the great bronze knife?

Perhaps it got rusty.

What the heck is this?!

Chorangyi!

What are you
doing down there?

Bring us up!

What's going on?

Woochi doesn't know
how to swim.

Then what's he doing
in there?

Did you catch it?

Woochi!

Are you okay, Master?

Of course.

Well done, sir

You even swim better, too

- Woochi Good job.
- Good job.

Sir Woochi
please wait for a moment.

We will prepare
a great present for you.

Let's put this one away first.
Get the gourd bottle.

They're walking away.

Like it's any use.

Let's put it away.

How did we get here?

- I Don't see shackles!
- Believe it, then it is there

Then why believe it?
We can just not believe.

But how?!
Gosh, I can't cut off my paw

We can use the talismans!

All right.
This time, Woochi

- Chorangyi.
- Huh?

Put your foot up.

- Let's not.
- Why not?

A promise is a promise.

The guilt will pass sooner
than you think.

Be gentle.

It worked.

What is this?

How did he get them off?

It's all finally over.

Over?
We have to lock him up.

With what powers?

Father! Could you hear
my confession right now?

I'm a bit busy.

If it's a small sin
you could come back later.

It's a large sin.

Surely
it can't be that large...

You can confess anything
for our Heavenly Father forgives all.

He must be exhausted.

Yes, I'm sure he is

Is there really a dead cat
on my back?

Who told you such a thing?

Just someone
some time ago...

Could you take a look?

Goodness. There are two.

Everyone carries
their past sins with them.

The beauty of life is that
good deeds can erase...

Hold on, my child

Please step outside.

Wait! Over there!

- What's wrong?
- The gourd bottle!

- What?
- They're rattling!

What happens?

Look!

How did they get out?!

Master Hwadam!

Crafty creatures
they may be

but surely they are
no match for I.

How have you been?

- Long time, gentlemen
- As powerful as ever, sir

Now that You're back
no more Woochi...

You summoned back
that fool?

He kept insisting on it.

Did I chant alone?
Who didn't guard the bottles?

Why do you suppose
the bottles broke?

So as Master Hwadam just said

if the goblins came
knowing we would summon Woochi

then Woochi might be
controlling the goblins.

How?

He has half of The Pipe.

That's right.

I always knew
I couldn't trust him.

Woochi caught the goblins!

It was I
who caught these goblins.

That's true.

And I, who will take back
the half he stole from me.

Once you do so

please guard The Pipe
as we had planned long ago.

But you Don't know
where Woochi is.

That's it.
Yes!

Almost done.

Last shot!

Done?

Change into this next.

- Where is it now?
- Thailand.

The pose!

Right, the pose

Number one.

Number two.

Number three.

Can't do three.

- Two looks easiest.
- Okay.

Gosh, that's freaky

Oh my god!

- Did you hear something?
- Nope.

Who are those?

Excuse me!
This is private...

Sang-ho, help me
Don't touch those!

Please, get out!

Come on!

- Get out!
- Okay, okay

Goodness!

You look thinner than before.

Who are you?

It's me, Chorangyi!

You remember
you rode on my back before.

I did?

I even licked your hand
like this!

Why would I?

Because I was a horse
back then.

- Horse?
- But I'm really a dog.

- Dog?
- And now I'll be human.

Because Woochi is now
the greatest wizard in the world!

All these years
and you haven?t aged a bit!

Wow!

Fancy seeing you here!

Who are you?

Hit by a car and a wall
but You're perfectly fine.

And why do you
keep following me?

Because I made a promise
to keep you safe.

For the nobleman before you

- is the wizard, Woo...
- A promise to whom?

To you.

You must have
the wrong person.

No, it is you

So what do you want
from me?

I want to give you
the works.

To wear under
that chin of yours.

Are you on something?

So then do wizards
tell fortunes, too?

Someone said I?d be
a sturdy tugboat in a storm.

You Don't like to read.

Uh-huh.

Or sewing.

That's right.

That was really hard for me
being a stylist and all.

You are a wizard.

I am not the kind
You're thinking of.

Then what kind are you?

What kind of wizard...

Huh?

I am this kind of wizard.

But how did you...

Oh my!

Just my luck.

Yes?

In front of your poster?

I've been kidnapped!

Aren't you
in the dressing room?

It's that guy
from the accident.

Hold on.
Call waiting.

Why didn't you
get the phone?

Where am I?

Kids, where is this?

Never mind.
I'll ask someone else!

I'm not that actress!

Please, go away!

Give us an autograph!

My brothers a cop!
Don't follow me!

Did you do something to her?

Yes.

Why?

- Because...
- In-kyung, she's been kidnapped!

Jesus, she's really gone

- Let's go, In-kyung!
- I'm coming.

We?ll talk later.

Hey, let's go
What?d she say?

At?

- At Yahoo, dot...
- Dot?

- Com?
- Com?

Crazy humans.

Here, I'll give you one last ride
before I turn human.

- Last?
- Yes.

Last what?

Last ride before I'm human.

You're a great wizard now
with the mirror and knife and all.

So then isn't it time
for me to become human?

These are just symbolic, really

Symbolic of a great wizard.

Symbolic?

I'm through with you!

I'll lose my manhood
following a liar like you!

I'll just go ask Hwadam
to change me.

Where is Hwadam?

Now you listen to what I say?

You saw Hwadam?

Sure did.

Where?

At the warehouse while
looking for the bronze knife.

Just his emblem.
Looks like this.

Where are you going?

To find Hwadam.

How old are you?

Eleven years old.

A longer life will still end
in emptiness, my child

The guy that issued the warrant
is an old classmate of mine.

He knows
there's nothing at home

but it's just for formality.

But thanks for
warning me anyway.

But I moved out of that office
months ago.

All right.
Thanks.

To the old office, sir?

Yeah.
Step on it.

Never have I seen a man chosen
by the people truly help the people.

How'd you get in here?
You from some citizen's group?

Do you know the one
who uses this emblem?

Do you know who I am?
A third-term congressman!

I will ask you again.

Where is he?

Somewhere out there, I guess

Out there, where?

If you truly desire it
he will come to you someday.

I should skin you alive
and teach you a lesson

but I will grant mercy
for I am too busy.

- You there!
- Me?

You noticed!

I was just
in the neighborhood.

What a doggone life.

Jack!
The gas is out again!

Gas?

Fire!
You can do this.

That thing's broken.

Oh, it's broken?

No wonder.

That's why this didn't work.

Where are you
scurrying off to?

Just getting some fresh air.

Long time no see, sir!

Do you fear death?

Not so much death

but the process, I guess

We do go centuries back.

We do!

Remember the old days?
You throwing me in the water...

And Koreans value
those ties that bind!

With that tablet
you can become human, or

Human?

Or?

Or your insides can burn to ashes
with a snap of my fingers.

How many talismans
does Woochi have left?

Why?

You Don't want me
to bring...

But without them, he's

Don't you want to be human?

- Human?
- Yes.

A human...

I Don't know!

You remember the freak?

He dragged me
all the way out there.

But I can't really explain
how I got there.

Why are you staring at me?

Huh?

You Don't believe me?

Yes, I believe you.

No, no
You Don't believe me.

All of you Don't!

I'm telling Honeybuns!

- Did you draw the bath?
- I did.

Fine, then go

- Should I go, too?
- Stay until he comes.

Honeypoo, it's me

Meow.

Meow.

Meow...

Bring me Woochi.

Why should I?

For I shall have The Pipe
and set you all free.

Why can't I work with
a sane director for once?

He acts like
he's gonna go to Cannes!

Hold on, baby
I'll call you back.

Ki-chul
turn that down!

Come on.

Ki-chul!

Ki-chul?

Ki-chul?

Stop joking around.
You're scaring me.

Attacked, my ass!

Probably slipped in the tub.

You saw how she walks!
It was bound to break sometime.

Don't even go there.
That role isn't just for anyone!

She has to look good.
Look poised.

Move with grace and elegance
and have this bursting passion.

And fire in her eyes...

I gotta go.

I didn't notice
your eyes before.

There's something there.

The ocean?

The ocean?

Sure!
The ocean!

You should audition for me.

They were just sweet nothings.

- Like that?
- There you go.

Let's get a drink somewhere.

I'll go get the check.

Where'd she go?

Woochi!

Woochi!?

We caught two goblins, right?

Right.
You and me together.

But there's still another one.

Where?

- Nearby.
- Near here?

That goblin will surely
lead me to Hwadam.

Why were you calling for me?
I thought we were through.

Of course not!

Woochi
give me a hug.

Master used to say
that all bonds are pain.

Quiet!

Be careful.

You too!

Hey!

Get out of the goddamn road!

Is that all of it?

That's everything.
Might be one or two more.

Betraying your best friend.
You are turning human.

So I'm becoming
human now, right?

How can a dog turn into
a human with a mere tablet?

Why do you keep
following me?

Anything different
in what you see?

Where is Hwadam?

That's all
you have to say?

Beauty often shrouds
the poison within.

What kind of beauty, exactly?

Tell me in detail.

Pure eyes holding
the ocean within.

The silhouette of the nose
is like the majestic mountains.

Wonder why you
left out my lips?

What are you saying?

That's why I betrayed my friend!

That's why I'm standing here!

You are here to watch
your beloved friend die.

Die?

No, he can't!

Woochi!

Don't come closer, Woochi!

What are you doing here?

Hwadam is...

How long I have waited...

Your arrogance has finally
brought you here.

I can't help knowing
my talent.

Even without your
precious talismans?

What should I do?

Woochi!
Watch out!

What a beautiful night to die.

Why must I keep away from her?

She will lead you
to your grave.

Lead me to my grave...

Afraid of death?

You still have one left!

I'll help you!

Woochi!
Blast him away with it!

One silly talisman is useless

Is this my grave?

The last talisman.
Idiot!

Could this be a dream?

Life is but a dream.

The nobleman before you

is Woochi, the wizard

Blind at the face of death.

We almost lost this
to that scoundrel.

It will only take a moment.

The Pipe in one piece
after five centuries.

Chorangyi, you mutt!

You little mongrel!

Look at his fan!

Hwadam killed our master,
you idiots!

There is no way
Master Hwadam would...

Of course not.

I've got one last talisman
I tucked away.

I, Chorangyi, would rather
die an honorable dog

than live as a filthy human!

Fire!

What am I doing?

Why am I drawing
what is already in my soul?

Are you okay?!

I think it's time
for me to change!

Woochi's got The Pipe!

My soul isn't
completely empty yet.

Where are we going?

Your favorite place.

Be careful!

Hurry, the door's closing!

Where is this?

I'm stuck!

Why now?

Pull me out.

Protect the lady.

Okay, I will
Don't worry.

My neck!

Who's this woman?

- The widow.
- Widow?

From five centuries ago.

Five centuries?

Could she be?

No, Sir Woochi!
Don't come this way!

Fire! Fire!

Hey, me too!

Pull!

This is the proper way
to summon the wind.

One is not real.

It's not real!

You're a better match
than your master.

And you've got a
better eye for talent.

The best kind of guest
is one who leaves.

Master!

Master Woochi!

Woochi!

Are you okay?

Is that a goblin, too?

That lady is...

I Don't think so.

What are you?

Girlie, over here!

The side.

Peach blossoms?

Crazy girl.

Watch your tongue!

Could it be Arch god?

Look closely, sir

This girl is the Arch god?!

Who?s that?

He doesn't remember us.

To shun Taoist solitude
and dream of Confucian success

is just a waste of a dream.

If you Don't know that
you Don't know reality

and then you Don't know
what you know. You know?

What in the world
are you saying?

Master.

Master, are you all right?

What's wrong with him?

Even he must have
a conscience, Master

You fought Hwadam with me.

What?

- And even betrayed me.
- He's still drunk.

I send you on errands

but you go to the palace and
dare ridicule the king!

- Start brawls with goblins!
...brawls with goblins...

And even kidnap a widow...

Fighting goblins and avenging
my death in this dream...

Even fighting Hwadam.

Did these things
empty your soul?

They sure didn't, Master

Is this real?

I have scolded you with a dream
to clear your clouded mind.

- Master.
- Take your tea.

Then that woman...

Send her back home.
She is more than you can bear.

Yes. Right...

Here.

Master.

When you wrote
Shoot the zither case...

What are you saying?

Take your tea.
It'll get cold.

Go ahead.

What are you doing?!

Master saw all the way
to this very moment.

Master!

Are you all right?

We will take care
of that scoundrel.

We had faith in you
from the very beginning.

Master.

Foolish gods.

I will go in myself.

Woochi!

I heard somewhere...

that a true gentleman
doesn't hold grudges.

Fine.

I will make you human.

Really?

But I'll teach you
your real identity first.

I'm just a stupid dog
that's what.

That's true, but...

A female dog.

Really?

Yes.

How...

How can I be a girl?!

Man and beast has
always lived in peace.

But that's what man thinks.

After it was all over
the biggest help

came from
the brave Chorangyi.

That's me.

Only the Taoist gods
recognize my true value.

Only the Taoist gods...

How did the film turn out?

Someone set fire to the set
Haven't filmed for a month.

It's that hard
breaking into this business.

I heard the lead actress
was switched.

You said you loved me.

Was it all a lie?

They were only sweet nothings.

Farewell, my love!

Cut! Okay!

Good thing
we switched the lead.

I smell an Oscar!

That was great.

- Really?
- Of course!

- Hurry up and push!
- Okay.

- Hey, You're back?
- Hi, Do-bin!

- Is the director busy?
- Yeah, but how's the leg?

It's fantastic!

I Don't know how you did it

but an actor
isn't made overnight!

- How's your leg feeling?
- It's fine.

- What the...
- Hey!

- What?
- Huh?

You three were
all in on this together!

Go bring them inside.

Yes, ma'am

And you, go right now
and tell them you quit.

That stupid resort you love.
Tell them You're going there.

I have had enough of this.

Who do you think
you are speaking to?

You already have
new agents?!

Are these the people?

Yes, officer
They're dangerous.

She claims you kidnapped her
a month ago, correct?

- Exactly twenty-six days ago.
- Yes.

That's right.

Could I get changed first?

Sure.

I'll help!

I think we should bring them in
Officer Kim, over here!

Bring who where now?

Avert those eyes!
She's changing!

Don't worry, Master
We're standing right outside.

Something's wrong.

Open the curtains!

- Is there a back door here?
- No, sir

Where'd they go?

I know! Right there!

Where's this?

Nice sniffing you.

I'm Chorangyi.

Wait for me!

I've always
wanted to come here.

With a guy.

Why here?

I'm not sure.

It just drew me in.

This music sounds familiar.

Did I... see this moment
ahead of time?

Is this...

the ocean?