Wonder Women (1973) - full transcript

Dr. Tsu is a brilliant surgeon with her own exotic island off the coast of Manila. Using her sexy, all-girl army of martial-arts experts, Tsu kidnaps some of the world's greatest athletes. She is able to transplant any body part, so she uses the athletes for spare parts to sell to the world's richest men. Mike Harber is a womanizing, wise-cracking insurance investigator for Lloyd's of London sent to Manila to investigate the disappearance of a jai-alai player, and becomes involved with Dr. Tsu's mad mission.

(gong chimes)

(funky jazz music)

(gun fires)

(hooves thudding)

(funky jazz music)

(gun fires)

(ball thudding)

(funky jazz music)

(ball thudding)

(gun fires)

(crowd applauding)

(whistle blows)

(crowd applauding)

(crowd applauding)

(suspenseful jazz music)

(gun fires)

(horn blaring)

(gun fires)

(engine revving)

(brakes squeal)

(cheerful fairground music)

(gas hissing)

(engine revving)

(suspenseful jazz music)

J' These are wonder women

J' Wonder women

J' We've got that superpower

J' Call us wonder women

J' We are wonder women

J' Yes we are wonder women

J' We've got that superpower

J' Call us wonder women

J' Wonder women

J' Wonder women

J' We've got that superpower

J' Call us wonder women

(suspenseful music)

(machinery humming)

- Give me a report on
the vital signs.

Anesthesia, cortex control to
the second level.

- Respiration levels
are satisfactory.

Heart beat regular.

Blood pressure normal.

Spinal reflexes I'm not sure.

- Jesus Christ, it worked.

- He's still alive?

- Of course he is.

- Do you really think
she can do it?

- Hell yeah, she can do anything.

- Do you think she'll be
pleased with us?

- She's gotta be, we
pulled it off.

- Yeah and everything went so
perfect, I can't believe it.

- Not quite.

You goofed back there remember.

- It couldn't be helped, I
didn't expect that guard.

- Our orders were not to kill,

you could have knocked him out.

- Get off my back.

- Now you listen to me, you were
30 seconds off your mark.

Now the next time that
happens to you--

- Here she comes.

Shut up, she'll hear us.

- Shh.

(gong chimes)

- Afternoon girls.


(suspenseful music)

There's no deterioration, you
are too be commended.

You also realize how important

the Paulson operation is to me?

And to all of you?

It must be a complete success.

The key to immortality,

the living brain sustained,

transferred into new
and fine origins.

And accepted because of my
anti-rejection serum.

Mr. Paulson's fee will
ensure all our futures.

$10 million.

(plane engine revving)

- [PAAnnouncer] Last call,
Japan Airline Flight 26,

last call please, last call.

- [PAAnnouncer] Last call.

- [PAAnnouncer] Japan Airline
Flight 26, last call please.

- [PAAnnouncer] Japan
Airline Flight 26.

(speaking in foreign language)

- Mister, where to?

- Downtown.

- It is done, I take you.

Go on, this is my taxi.

Get down, get down.

My name is Lapu Lapu, I am
the number one,

the fittest, the bravest,
tip please.

- Look I want is a ride okay.

- You got it.

Where to in downtown?

- Intercontinental Hotel.

- I take you the best
scenic spots.

Sometimes very hard to come in,

it's down but it's alright.

(suspenseful music)

Very pretty city Manila.

Many photo's, you
been here before?

- [Mike] No, is it always
this hot here?

- This is not hot.

Very soon much rain.

Nice pitch my friend.

(laughs) Makes me a lover
not a fighter.

Love a little, fight a
little (laughs).

Good for the body.

(suspenseful music)

Thank you very much.

- Change.

- (laughs) There's no more.

What's your name?

- Mike.


- [PAAnnouncer] Paging
Miss Janet Snow.

- You there, listen I'm looking
for man named Lorenzo.

- Oh you must be Mr. Harber, Mr.
Lorenzo is expecting you.

- You bet your sweet ass he is,
where can I find him?

- [Lorenzo] Right here.

- When the hell did you get off
snatching my passport?

- I have here a check for $10,000.

From Lloyds of London.

It's made out to you.

It should buy me five
minutes of your time.

- Five minutes, my passport

and the next flight to Melbourne.

- How about five
minutes over a drink,

you look as though you
could use one.

(suspenseful music)

- [Dr. Tsu] Gail,
where's my schedule.

- [Gail] You have the
optical regeneration on

Lilian Taylor scheduled for
surgery tomorrow morning.

And also the body bank

has verified the perfect
match for her eyes.

- Immediately upon her arrival,
program her against pain.

Place her in an alpha state,

10 and a half cycles per second.

You may go Gail.

- Thank you doctor.

- I've received a cable

from our former paraplegic.

The English Duke.

Completion money is to the extent
of 300,000 pounds sterling

will be acquitted into your Swiss
account, as of that date.

- Good.

I'm pleased to see that such a
handsome man as the Duke,

can be a man again.

- Our South American friends

are quibbling over pennies again.

$500,000 to be exact.

It seems as those their

has expressed his
employers concern

over the nature of
the donor's sex.

- If it would help Gregorious,

I would be happy to speak
to his employer.

But you can reassure him that
a liver is a liver

and that lungs are lungs.

Besides today is a happy day

and I don't want to hear
of any problems.

That's what I pay you for.

- I know Doctor.

However, business is business

and we have one more
matter to discuss.

I think we have a problem, it
concerns the Paulson donor.

It seems as though
Lloyds of London

will be obligated to pay an
insurance policy of $500,000.

- For a jai alai player?

- The worlds top player.

His salary was extraordinary.

We haven't got much time.

They have to pay off the
policy within 90 days.

- So they have to pay off, it
doesn't concern us.

- If that's so Doctor, we have
nothing to worry about.

However our London people
have informed me

that Lloyds is sending a man.

- Oh, some invincible force,
a superman.

- According to his dossier,

he's a man that can be
dangerous to us.

- Don't you realize by
now Gregorious,

that no one man is
dangerous to us.

- His name is Mike Harber.

Four years service with the CIA,

five year with the
Detective Bureau

of the Los Angeles
Police Department.

- You've blown three minutes.

- 48 hours ago a jai alai player,

Ramone Julio was kidnapped
right here in Manila.

Unless he's found alive,

it's going to cost my company
half a million dollars.

- So?

- That kind of pay off is
bad publicity.

It could become a fad like
skyjacking and get out of hand.

- I'll tell you one thing,

you've got a hell of a
problem friend.

- Now we need a miracle Mr.
Harber, a miracle.

- Miracle's come high.

- $10,000 plus all expenses.

And another $15,000 when and if
you find Julio alive.

- Ah, you got a piece of paper.

Okay, this is what's gonna work.

$25,000 win, lose or
draw and if I get,

whatshisname back in one piece,

then I'll settle for 130
of your action.

- $160,000?

That's impossible.

- My passport.

- 10%?

- That's impossible, my passport.

- 20%?

But I can't go a penny higher.

- No one's asking you to,
it's a deal.

Here lay it out.

(suspenseful music)

- I'm sorry sir, Mr. Paulson
does not allow smoking.

Your attache case sir.

- Are you aware of the
fact young man,

that I am expected.

- Yes sir, it's simply
routine procedure.

May l?

Thank you.

(suspenseful music)

- The case is locked.

Arrangements have been
made to open it

only in the presence of Dr. Tsu.

(suspenseful music)

- With your permission sir?

Use this one please sir.

Ah, there's one more thing sir.

An oral disinfectant.

I'm sorry sir, Mr.
Paulson requires it.

Thank you.

(cheerful fanfare music)

- Mr. Paulson, it is
indeed a pleasure.


I've been very
anxious to meet you.


- Mr. Paulson assumes all
arrangements have been made?

- Yes of course.

Dr. Tsu will be here at any moment

to discuss the details of
the operation.

However there is the slight
matter of a fee.

- Yes sir.

(snaps fingers)

Your deposit.

One million dollars.

- That takes care of the first
part of the agreement.

Now as for the second.

- Mr. Paulson has noted that Dr.

was expelled from the
International Medical Association.

- Dr. Tsu is a hundred years
ahead of her time.

And it is characteristic of human
beings to resist progress.

- Mr. Paulson has further noted

Dr. Tsu is reported to
have performed

unusual experiments on
her patients.

- Dr. Tsu is an
extraordinary woman.

Her genius and her talent

transcends the question of
human morality.

(gong chimes)

- [Attendant] Mr.
Paulson is concerned

with the outcome of the operation.

Her work is thoroughly documented.

- How are you Mr. Paulson,
how are you?

(smooth jazz music)


You must set your mind at ease Mr.

You are a man who's accustomed to
receiving the very best.

I'm here to make sure that you get
exactly what you want

and nothing less.

- Mr. Paulson expresses
his appreciation

of your remarkable achievement

and regards you as an
extraordinary woman.

However he finds the terms of the
financial agreement

somewhat unsatisfactory to him.

There are no guarantees
and no recourse.

- I often amuse myself with a
provocative image

that death has been
seduced by a woman.

The truth of the matter
is quite simple.

The medical facts.

It is now possible for me to
transplant your brain

into the body of a healthy, young,
virile athlete.


- The legal issue, it is
a difficult one.

The outside possibility of
a murder charge.

- Murder?

You surprise me.

For a man of your
position and power,

the legality issue is
purely academic.

I'm presenting you with a
probability of immortality.



- What remains to be done?

- It's a simple matter
of arithmetic.

50% of all your holdings in
exchange for 100% of eternity.

(smooth jazz music)

- Oh he's sexy.

- Wow.

Sure turns me on.

- [Maggie] Turns me on too.

- Well what are we
gonna do about it?

- I'll take the bottom half, you
take the top half.

- He's beautiful.


- He doesn't do a thing
for me honey.

(smooth jazz music)

Hey Vera.

That one really turns me on.

- The Paulson party is due to
arrive late tomorrow.

Now for the last item on the
agenda tomorrow morning,

we have the eye transplant.

Has the proper donor
been selected?

- Yes he has Dr. Tsu,

but I strongly advise
a replacement.

- May I ask why?

- I think the body bank
made a mistake.

You see he has perfect
eyesight now,

but his medical history

indicates genetic
tolerance to stigmatism.

- Well done, I'm
proud of you Vera.

Perfection is our goal, however
our guarantee stipulates

only the delivery of
perfect eyesight.

We are not responsible for the
normal aging process.

- Perhaps our actress will be
a future customer.

- Laura you make us
sound so greedy.

- You realize we can always find
other donors Dr. Tsu.

- Yes we can, but we won't.

Well, shall we make our
rounds girls.

- I might take another look at
our new arrivals.

- (laughs) Yeah, new arrivals mean
fresh entertainment.

- Yeah, lord knows I could
use a good ball.

- Well god knows I'm horny enough.

- Oh you gotta try the new
Argentinian soccer player,

he's incredible. - Yeah?

- Too late.

Just this morning he was
requisitioned for vital organs

and sent to dissection.

- Fitting.

(smooth jazz music)

(gun clicks)

- I'll bet you get your kicks out
of playing with guns.

- I don't play with guns.

- I don't like you.

- Leaver her alone Laura.

- Why should l?

I don't trust her, she's
too emotional.

You all heard what a
certain doctor thinks

about emotions
revealing weaknesses.

- And a big mouth
revealing stupidity.

- Well the contessa has spoken.

- Stay out of this Linda, I can
take care of myself.

- Hey, I got a great idea.

Why don't you and Vera get
together and try brain sex.

I heard it eliminates
emotional disorders.

- Maybe you'd like to
eliminate me.

- I'd love to.

- Well what are you waiting for?

- The right time, the right place.

Well what have we got here?

It's toy time.

Let me see, I think I'll take,
that one.

- Hands off bitch, he's mine.

- Tonight only sweetheart.

- Vera come here.

Mei-Ling fetch us a
couple of drinks.

She has a point.

You're spending too much
time with him.

- Haven't you ever felt
sorry for them?

- A long time ago.

It doesn't pay.

Believe me it's not worth it.

- Here's to a long time ago.

(smooth jazz music)

- Now it's my turn.

(smooth jazz music)

(machinery humming)

- [Dr. Tsu] Freeze at 18
degrees below centigrade.

- [Assistant] Yes Dr. Tsu.

- Take him to the recovery room.

Her condition?

- Condition normal.

- Good, we're ready
for transplant.

Prepare for the lady's surgery.

- Lie still Tony,
you'll be alright.

- What have they done with me?

I can't see.

- Tony I'm sorry, I really tried.

- MY eyes, my god my eyes.

' MY eyes.

Darling how can I ever thank you,
they're exquisite.

- Well we take care in providing

an absolutely perfect selection
of replacement parts.

- Such a perfect match.

Where did you ever find?

No, I, on second thought I
better not ask.

- Now for six months, you will
take my anti-rejection serum,

in pill form, to prevent the
rejection of your new tissues.

- Again thank you Doctor,

by the way may I refer my
friends to you?

- You may contact me through Mr.

- I would be more than
happy to accommodate

your recommendations my dear.

- Oh thank you Mr. Gregorious.

- Lorenzo, how do you
know for sure

that these athletes have
been kidnapped?

- Well we don't, simply on
record as missing.

- [Mike] How many?

- 14, all over the world.

And they were the
cream off the top,

the best athletes in the world.

- Yeah well a few things
bother me Lorenzo.

- [Lorenzo] Yeah, what's that?

- [Mike] Well number one

there's been no contact
attempts at all.

- [Lorenzo] That's right, not
even a ransom note.

- [Mike] No bodies and no answers.

- [Lorenzo] That's true

and that leaves us with a whole
lot of unanswered questions.

- [Mike] Yeah, listen I'd
like to have a look.

You know, where you
found whatshisname,

the jai alai players car.

- [Lorenzo] Yeah sure,

I'll take you there first
thing in the morning.

I might as well tell you,

the police came up with
a big fat zero.

- Ah, Lorenzo.

You got some money I can borrow?

- Naturally.

- Don't worry I'll pay you back.

(cheerful fairground music)

- Okay Jack, so you busted me.

What do you wanna know?

- [Mike] You American?

- I'm only a human being trying
not get my ass shot off.

They were gonna pull my
number out of a hat,

put a gun in my hand so I split.

- Look, I need some information.

The night that car was abandoned
here, you see anything?

- Weird trip.

I'm sitting here working, you
know doing my thing,

when this big hearse drives up,

followed by this catty limousine

with two chicks in the backseat.

It parked right over there.

Then this other car pulled.

See, these two guys get out

and they carry a body
over to the hearse.

They put it into a casket
and they just split.

- You see anything else?

- Who knows man?

I'm blind remember.

Yeah the writing on the
door of the hearse

said "Seaside Chapel."

- Who's wired in?

Got this town connected, knows
everybody, everything?

- That would be Won Ton Charlie.

- How do I find him?

- Hey man, I'm no fake.

I've got my interests to protect.

I've got a business here.

It's called Faking Enterprises.

I've got 75 dudes work on corners
just like this one.

- What do you know about

a Chapel by the Sea or
Seaside Chapel?

- Never heard of it.

- Well you better check into it,

see if that's where the
hearse came from.

You ever heard of a dude named Won
Ton, Won Ton Charlie?

- Won Ton Charlie, you might try
the City of Death.

(melancholy music)

- City of Death huh?

- [Lapu Lapu] That's right Mr.

This is the Chinese cemetery,
very spooky,

- You honor my dead with your
presence, Mr. Harber.

They will sleep well tonight.

- You Won Ton Charlie?

- Euphemism, slang Mr. Harber.

Your presence honors the
family tomb on Won Ton.

Unlike in America, here in
the City of Death

our tombs are chambers of
peace and tranquility.

There are no tears in our temples.

Here we welcome death Mr. Harber.

May I offer you some refreshments?

Some tea perhaps.

- Yeah and some information.

- Ah, information, that is a
priceless commodity.

- (laughs) Yeah, just like sex.

Since you're so wired into death

what can you tell me about a
Chapel by the Sea.

- I know no such Chapel.

- Missing jai alai player,
a hearse, coffin.

- Is that a riddle?

- No, no man, it's a
Chinese puzzle.

An offering to your ancestors.

That's one down, two to go.

- Crude but straight to the point.

There's a fisherman Nono who might
be of interest to you.

- Where can I find him?

- At the cockpits.

- And what's the
fisherman selling?

- His last catch.

- And who wants a net
full of fish?

- Not fish Mr. Harber,
human bones.

(suspenseful jazz music)

(gun firing)

(engine revving)

(gun firing)

(gun firing)


(guns firing)

(flames crackling)

(engine revving)

(engines revving)


(suspenseful jazz music)




(metal taps)

- Hey, number one.

- [LaPU Lapu] Yes.

- Everything alright down there.

- Just checking for oil leaks Mr.

Looks like someone does not
like you so much huh?

- Yeah it must be my warm and
loving personality.

Come on let's clean up.

(crowd cheering)

(wings fluttering)

(crowd cheering)

(speaking in foreign language)

- He says he was fishing in the
waters of Freedom Island.

He has two friends, who have
two fishing boats.

They went near the shore, he never
heard of them since.

- Right and what about
these human bones?

Ask him.

(speaking in foreign language)

- He says off the coast of the
Island of a Thousand Women

he was able to pick up nets
of human bones.

Lot's of sharks in the China Sea,

Lots of sharks.

- Can you take us there?

(speaking in foreign language)

(crowd cheering)

(wings fluttering)

(peaceful music)

- Lets get out of here, ask him
to meet outside okay.

(suspenseful music)

(machinery humming)

- [Dr. Tsu] Our track star I'm
told has run the mile

in three and a half minutes,
quite remarkable.

Schedule him for a leg transplant.

- Raise the brainwaves cycles
from beta to alpha

and restore him to consciousness.

I want him sent to me tonight.

- That's the second time
this week Vera.

You should show more restraint.

Your old-fashioned way of
sex runs the risk

of involving the emotion and
revealing weakness.

- With your permission Doctor,

I think I speak for all of us.

Brain sex may work for you,

but some of us still prefer
physical contact.

- There will come a time
when physical contact

will be unheard of.

Brain sex enables you
to experience

the ultimate in physical sensation

and eliminate emotional disorders.

Increase the cortex control
anesthesia to the fourth level.

- Yes Dr. Tsu, on the
fourth level.

- [Receptionist] Attention Dr.

your call to Won Ton is now ready.

- I'll take it here on
the PA system.

- [Won Ton] This is Won Ton.

- It's come to my
attention Won Ton

that your organization suffers
from quality control.

You need to improve the
status of your help.

- Mr. Harber has proven to
be resourceful.

He eliminated six of my men.

With all respect Doctor,
I suggest to you

that Mr. Harber represents a
threat to your security.

- The only threat to my security

is an associates
inability to perform.

The fact of Mr. Harber's existence
no longer concerns you.

I shall determine Mr.
Harber's fate.

Good day Won Ton.

- As you say Doctor.

- We are ready to surgically
here with the splinter.

(smooth jazz music)

- Three loso, no ice.

- Yes sir.

- What did you find out?

- Just that there are no
funeral homes in Manila

called Chapel by the Sea.

- They all keep quiet when they
talk about the islands.

- But we did get an
interesting report

from the United States.

It seems a witness
claims that a hearse

was used in the abduction of a
basketball player.

- Well then that ties into
the blind beggar.

- Now we checked the manifests of
the flights on that date

and there was a coffin
shipped to Manila.

It was accompanied by two women
dressed in mourning

and met by two more women.

- That's a lot of widows.

(smooth jazz music)

Now gentleman it's
been a long day.

Have some milk.

Try that.

You know you, you got
great legs baby.

- Thank you.

- But they're too long.

- Oh.

- I don't like long legs,
they get in the way.

- Well let's see what we can do

about keeping them out of the way.


Well we'll see what we
can do about that.


(smooth jazz music)

You're really beautiful.

It isn't often I meet a
man like you.

You're one I'll remember for
the rest of my life.

And I promise you, I will.

- You know that's what I
like about you baby.

You're unpredictable.

- I am predictable
about one thing.

I never miss.

(gun firing)

(suspenseful jazz music)


(wood cracking)

(glass smashes)


(gun fires)

(suspenseful jazz music)

- Hey boss, Mr. Mike!

She went that way.

- [Mike] Well come on.

- I will come.

- Yeah okay, well you follow me!

(suspenseful jazz music)


(horns blaring)


(horns blaring)

(suspenseful jazz music)

(engine revving)

- [Lapu Lapu] Mr. Mike, Mr. Mike!

- Over here.

(horns blaring)

(suspenseful jazz music)

(horns blaring)

(brakes squeal)

(brakes squeal)

(horns blaring)

(horns blaring)

(brakes squeal)

(glass smashes)

(suspenseful jazz music)


(horns blaring)

(horns blaring)

(wood smashing)

(brakes squeal)


(brakes squeal)

(suspenseful jazz music)

(horns blaring)

(brakes squealing)

(metal crashing)

(metal crashing)

(brakes squealing)

(engines revving)

(horns blaring)

(wood smashing)

(water splashing)

(smooth jazz music)

- You bastard!

- Now you've been in
there over an hour.

You ready to talk yet?

Come on sweetheart, let's
get out there.

Now look at that.

I've been trying to teach you to
behave like a lady,

but you don't seem to
appreciate that.

So now talk.

(gun clicking)

Who are you?

Why did you try to kill me?

And where did you come from?

I said talk.

(suspenseful music)

- The patients under cortex
control Doctor.

- [Dr. Tsu] Excellent.

- [Receptionist] Attention,

Paulson party has arrived.

Operation Paulson is
now in session.

Please use all
security precautions.

- Give orders to reception.

Take Mr. Paulson to
the alpha room.

Maintain at 62 degrees
for 12 hours.

Place him in the beta state at
six cycles per second.

- [Assistant] Yes Dr. Tsu.

(suspenseful music)

- Boss, boss, that vine.

- Now be quiet.

Here let me take it in.

Now you listen to me, come on.

Alright back to some basics,
which way?

- You'll never get off
the island alive.

- Yes that's possible,
come on let's go.

You coming?

- Don't worry boss, I
stay right here

and I watch my uncles bunker.

- Your uncles what?

- My uncles boat.

Don't worry boss, I'll be right
here when you come back

and I'll take you home safely.

- Alright.

(suspenseful music)

Oh no, not again.

Did you see where she went?

- Boss, do not take your eyes off
her, she's very tricky.

- No shit.

(suspenseful music)

- I'm sorry.

I tried.

But he's so damned, unpredictable.

- Sit down Linda.

It might be amusing to have you
two exchange parts.

You my dear, with your
lovely face and figure.

He with his brain and sex.

- Dr. Tsu let me have another
chance, I know him.

I know how he thinks.

I'll find him for you and
I'll bring him back.

- Let her have another go at it.

After all what have
we got to lose?

- Don't fail this time.

- I won't.

You can count on it.

- Laura keep a watch on Linda.

- You can count on it.

(suspenseful jazz music)

(guns firing)

(suspenseful jazz music)

(gun fires)

(gun fires)

(suspenseful jazz music)

(suspenseful music)


- Ladies.

- [Gregorious] Ah,
Mayan volcano soup

is the finest I've ever tasted.

- My chefs survival
depends on her ability

to satisfy my tastes.

(suspenseful music)

Well if it isn't the
indestructible Mr. Harber.

- Oh don't let me
interrupt your snack.

- We've been looking
forward to this meeting

with great anticipation.

Please join us.

- No thanks, I forgot my
Bank of America card,

I'll take a rain check on it.

- Sit down Mr. Harber.


I think you're going to be a most
interesting diversion.

- You know I got a good idea,

but I'm gonna ask you anyway.

What type of business you in?

- Transplants Mr. Harber,

It is possible for me
to transplant

any part of the human body.

- Any part?

- Any part.

- Listen, what's old fish nose got
to do with transplants?

- Mr. Gregorious seeks our clients

and arranges the
financial agreement.

My organization secures a donor.

- See that explains the kidnapping
of the jai alai player,

whatshisname, and the other
missing athletes.

- Correct Mr. Harber, the law of
supply and demand.

Strong young bodies are
at a premium.

- And how high are these premiums?

- As high as the market will
bear Mr. Harber.

- Now take you for instance.

You're not exactly what I
would consider

blue ribbon material, first
class merchandise.

But with Mr. Gregorious's superb
negotiating abilities

you could maybe command $400 to
$500,000 for your body.

- With all due respect Doctor, I
think you're a bit high.

I mean I would have to sell him

completely on his, virility.

Now if he were a few
years younger.

- You're quite right Gregorious.

But enough of these
social amenities.

I'm sure Mr. Harber is anxious to
look over his new home.

- Sure, why not?

(suspenseful jazz music)

Isn't that Peter--

- The Paulson case, will be my
most important achievement.

A complete brain and
body transplant.

It may surprise you to learn Mr.

he died eight hours ago.

- But he's still breathing.

- I have placed him under an alpha
controlled consciousness.

So his brain will not deteriorate
from lack of oxygen.

- Alright.

Hey isn't that uh--

- [Dr. Tsu] The jai alai player,
yourjai alai player.

- Is he dead?

- On the contrary, he's in perfect
physical condition,

but in a comatose state.

Now Mr. Harber, ultimately you
will end up here.

That's my voloscope.

- A What?

- [Dr. Tsu] My vital organs vault.

- Oh.

You mean to tell me these
things still work?

- They will when
transplanted properly.

All of these organs
are functional.

With the discovery of my
anti-rejection serum

it was possible for me to develop
a preserving solution.

- That's incredible.

- Credibility is the matter of
exposure and conditioning.

A few years ago,

an interplanetary flight was
considered incredible,

but now it's a simple
matter of fact.

Such as this.

All usable.

Thawed in a matter of moments by
high frequency sound waves.

- I gotta hand it to you Doc,

this is a hell of
layout you got here.

You don't waste a damn
thing do you?

- Nothing, not even my failures.


I call him Tyrannosaurus Rex,
after the dinosaur,

to remind me that evolution
also made mistakes.


I would get too close
if I were you.

That's Goliath.


Now let me introduce to my
pet Shangri La.

She was my first brain transplant,

I had to use the brain of an ape.

- I'd hate to come to you
with a headache Doc.

- [Dr. Tsu] He's Colossus.

- Didn't he used to
play basketball?

- Hmm-mm.

He gets terrible upset
when he's ignored.

I think he's jealous.

It may seem fantastic to you Mr.

but remember we live in an age
where fact and fiction

are two sides of the same coin.

These are creatures
which I created.

Granted they are mistakes.

- Yeah, yeah I'll go
along with that.

- Come, I have a delightful
surprise for you.

(smooth jazz music)

You and I will undertake a
different kind of experiment.

One I'm sure you will enjoy.

- Lead on Doc, you haven't
disappointed me yet.

(machine humming)

- Brain sex.

There are thousands
of erotic areas

not fully experienced by
the ordinary mind.

(suspenseful music)



(machine rattling)

- The heart is stopping,
reaction negative.

Emergency, emergency.

The brain is close to the
deterioration point.

Notify Dr. Tsu.

- [Receptionist] Emergency,
emergency, Dr. Tsu, emergency.

Paulson's heart has stopped.

Dr. Tsu emergency, Paulson's
heart has stopped.

- Prepare him for
surgery immediately.

I will rejoin you later.


Have Vera join me in the
operating room immediately.

Arrest her, place her in detention

and schedule her for a
complete dissection.

Take her away.

- [Laura] Move.

- Guard, take Mr.
Harber to my office.

(suspenseful jazz music)


(gong chimes)

- Linda, don't shoot I
want out too.

Together we can make it.

- Good, let's get Mike out.

- Just a minute,

we need to create a diversion
or it won't work.

- You're right.

What do we do?

Dr. Tsu's freaks.

- Good.

- You take this, go down
and let 'em out.

I'll get Mike.

- We'll meet at the boat dock.

- Right.

(smooth jazz music)

(gun fires)

(alarm blaring)

- [Receptionist] Alert, alert,
escape in progress.

The cage room specimens are loose.

Alert, alert, escape in progress.

The cage room specimens are loose.

- I can't stop now.

Bolt the doors.

(alarm blaring)

- [Receptionist] Attention,
cage room specimens

are to be destroyed on sight.

Attention, cage room specimens
are to be destroyed.

(alarm blaring)

Alert, alert, escape in progress.

The cage room specimens are loose.

(smooth jazz music)

(alarm blaring)

- You know if it really
came down to it,

I think you could take me.

- You've got a big mouth.

Help me loosen up these ropes,
we've gotta get out of here.

Pretty soon all hells
gonna break loose.

- Not yet, I a hundred grand
laying around here someplace

and he's still alive.

- Who is it?

- The jai alai player.

Grab the machine gun.

- You know that
emergency operation?

He's the one.

- [Mike] Lead the way.

(alarm blaring)

(smooth jazz music)

- [Receptionist] Attention,
red alert, red alert.

Armed prisoners are escaping.

Attention, red alert, red alert.

Armed prisoners are escaping.

- He's dead.

Leave me.

(suspenseful jazz music)

(gun fires)

(gun firing)

(glass smashing)

(gun firing)

(glass smashing)

(alarm blaring)

(suspenseful jazz music)

(gun fires)

(guns firing)

(alarm blaring)

(suspenseful jazz music)

(guns firing)

(gun fires)

(suspenseful jazz music)

(gun fires)

(gun fires)

- He's unharmed Mr. Harber.

That will do you no good.

The glass is armored,
it's bulletproof.

- Listen lady, aren't you a little
tired of playing God?

- You won this time, but
just remember,

like all great minds we cannot
avoid our destiny.

Goodbye Mr. Harber.

(explosion booms)

- Come on kid, let's go home.

(peaceful oriental music)

(smooth jazz music)

- [Lorenzo] My god, I've heard a
lot of stories in my time.

Just the idea of monsters
and transplants

and an island of women, it's
so hard to believe.

- [Mike] You suit yourself
Lorenzo, but it's the truth.

- [Lorenzo] Lloyds of London
won't believe it either.

- Lorenzo, it doesn't matter any

what they believe or
don't believe,

I delivered whatshisname,

the jai alai player
back in one piece

and all I want is my
check for $160,000.

- You're right, you're right.

A deal is a deal, after all
it's not everyday

we can save the company half
a million dollars.

That is with certain
large deductions.

Now here you are.

I'm sure it's gonna be put to
all kinds of good use.

- [Mike] You can bet on it.

- You know they're
expecting you in Rome.

- 50W)'-

- You promised them that
you'd meet them there.

- Postpone it, I'm gonna
take a vacation.

A very long vacation.

- You know it's gonna cost my
company $5 million

if those jewels are not recovered.

Why it's crime of the century.

And they say that it's gonna take
a genius to solve it.

- 50W)'-

I figure it's gonna me two,

maybe three weeks to get
my strength back.

- Mike, I am prepared
to offer you--

- Lorenzo.

- Look it's a proposition that's
too good to turn down.

- (speaks in foreign
language) Houseboy,

will you show our guest out.

- I'll tell 'em I tried.

Two weeks?

(speaking in foreign language)

- Mike, I hope I'm worth it.

- Oh well money can't
buy everything.

- But he did say it was the
crime of the century.

- Baby the only crime would be is
if I ever left you.

- D0 you play well?

- Bobby Fischer and I were masters
of the game of chess.

? TW me?

- If you want.

- Yes, I want.


- Hmm, it's your move.

(peaceful music)

(gong chimes)

J' We perform super deeds

J' To get that we need

J' Selling for high proceeds

J' Say yeah

J' Yeah

J' We are wonder women

J' Wonder women

J' We got that superpower

J' Call us wonder women

- [Dr. Tsu Voiceover] Goodbye Mr.

Like all great minds we cannot
avoid our destiny.

J' Through the years I had to do it

J' But we aren't any fools

J' We know how play it cool

J' Say yeah

J' Yeah

J' We are wonder women

J' Wonder women

J' We got that superpower

J' Call us wonder women

J' We long to be touched

J' To be squeezed so very much

J' With all the loving like class

J' We want honey in our glass

J' And we're always standing by

J' Ready to satisfy

J' To triumph, succeed

J' To love, to please

J' Yeah

J' Yeah yeah yeah

J' Yeah

J' Yeah

J' Yeah

J' For the love

J' For the love

J' We have lots

J' And we use what we've got

J' And we know how to keep it hot

J' Say yeah

J' Yeah

J' We are wonder women

J' Wonder women

(smooth jazz music)