Women Who Flirt (2014) - full transcript

Huayi Brothers Media Corporation
Huayi Brothers Intl Ltd Present

Presented By Wang Zhongjun

Making Film Productions Limited
Production

Sorry

Not again. What's up with you lately?

The traffic was really bad

Liar

I just called the doorman
at your place

He said you left at 12:30

Hmm

I didn't know you care so much
about me



I just wanna do my job

Let's get started then

Zhou Xun

Your dad's birthday's coming up

What are you getting him?

I dunno. Help me pick something

He's your dad

You know how much he likes you

He'll be happy with anything you pick

What did you give him last year?

A bunch of porn

Huang Xiao Ming

Right

You have such great taste!



Well, it's been some time
since my mom died

Can't blame my dad for having needs

Let's go for the same thing this year

But hey

Burn me a copy this time

Can you behave yourself?

What did I do wrong?

Fine

I've got some good news

What?

I'm seeing someone

Executive Producer Wang Zhonglei

A Pang Ho-Cheung Film

Is everything okay?

Sorry

My girlfriend spilled her wine

Can you please clean it up?
Of course

Why did he think...

You'd be happy for him?

He's a dumbass!

He said I used to ask him

Why he's been single for so long

He thought I'd be glad to
hear the news

Well, did you use to do that?

Of course not!

Did I?

Why don't you get a girlfriend?

Hey!

Why aren't you seeing anyone?

Why don't you have a girlfriend?

Well, you can't blame him then

I did everything I could already

I'm a girl

I can't just say to him

Hey, hit on me?

I called you here to make
her feel better

Sorry

I'm still hung over

Alright, let me get this straight

Hey!

You said her boyfriend
cheated on her...

With this foxy woman
from Taiwan, right?

But he never really went out with her

So he's not actually cheating

He betrayed my trust!

When we were in college, he told me

He wouldn't date anyone

My family's not really well off

And my dad's getting old

I want him to have a better life

I wanna put my career first

and make a good living

And... When you become a big shot

Until then...

I won't date

You can get a girlfriend
anytime you want

Eh?

So you knew it all along

What?

You can't blame him, can you?

I was waiting for him!

Whose side is she on?

Leave us alone!

Get out!

Did you ask him how he met that chick?

I didn't need to

He told me

Remember my business trip to
Taiwan last month?

It comes and goes without a trace

Making you smile,
leaving you in sorrow

Excuse me...

Can I sit here?

Sure!

But, uh...
I haven't slept for days

Can you wake me up...

When we get to Terminal 2?

Thanks

Okay

She was sleeping like a kitten

I felt this urge to protect her

I guess men work out at the gym

So that one day we can give
girls like her

A shoulder to lean on

We're here

Oops! I drooled

This is so embarrassing

It's all your fault

Huh?

It felt so good

Sleeping on your shoulder

So I drooled

This is so not me

Hey, wait

You left your camera behind

You're sweet

Anyway, bye

Hey!

Wait!

She's a pro

Any hope for me?

Nope

Oh my God! Look at this!

My Love

My Darling

Have you stopped going to therapy?

Ever since watching "Ghost"
when I was small

I've wanted to learn this

I fantasized

While I play with the clay

A man just like in the movie

Would hug me from behind

And we'd work on it together

They make pottery in "Ghost"

This is sculpture

It doesn't spin

Who cares

The point is...

It's gotta be

A topless guy

Hugging me from behind

Don't tell me

You've never shagged a guy here before

Sorry

My bad

Listen

Find a new guy. It's been too long

Why are you so into him?

True, he has a big nose

So his package down under must be...

Well, I know you don't give a shit

You drive guys crazy

You'll never know how I feel

He wanted to put his career first

I tried to get him a promotion

That's why I sent him to Taiwan

But he didn't get it at all

He hooked up with a girl there

How can I let it go?

You're right

I get it

This isn't about her anymore

It's about our pride as Shanghai girls

Just help me get him back

A great man once said

With great power comes
great responsibility

Sounds familiar. Who said that?

Spiderman

You're lucky to have me

I'm the best sweet-talker in town

This is a hard one

But I'm gonna help you

Thank you Not so fast

Your case is...

Really tricky

My enemy's too tough

I dont't mind tough competition

But I do mind a dumbass teammate

Time to call the girls

Those Taiwan chicks think
they can flirt

Let's show them

How it's really done

Get ready...

To get your man back

The name of our mission?

Who we're proud to be...

Women Who Flirt

According to our test

It took the waitress
2 mins and 16 secs

To notice the spilled wine

What's her name?

I'll fire her

Mr. Qiu, the performance of your staff

Is not the problem here

There's a serious imbalance between

Your staff and customers

A customer spends over 500 RMB
on average

In China that means a high-end client

At a similar restaurant abroad

The customer/staff ratio would be 1.57

So basically

You're understaffed

That affects the quality of
your service

But last time I checked

There's enough staff

Right, Mr. Qiu

That's true

We checked with the restaurant

There're two shifts in a day

7 to 8 people work on each shift

But at least three of them

Are related to the manager

His cousin

His uncle-in-law

His ex-wife's nephew

High school friends of
his ex-wife's nephew

Most of the time

These people go AWOL

How's that possible?

Many business owners find it
hard to believe

But these things happen

That's why we're here

If I let you inspect
all my restaurants

I'd get a discount, right?

Yes, I'll give you a special offer

Marco! Yes?

Where are you going?

Hailey left her keys at home.
I'm going back

Are you kidding?
Michael might wanna talk

You can handle it, you silly goose

Tell him I'm on a site visit

Come on!

By the way, are you free tonight?

Yeah, why?

I told Hailey about you.
She wanna buy you dinner

Sure, see you tonight

Well done

Once we seal the deal with Qiu

You'll need more people on the team

I'll put you in charge of Unit C and D

You should pick someone
from your team too

Do you have anyone in mind?

Marco's great

Marco?

Really?

Where's he gone anyway?

He's at a client's office

Okay...it's up to you

Thank you

Alright then, see you
See you

Hey

That chick is inviting me
to dinner tonight

That vixen is making the first move

Take the afternoon off

Why?

You need a makeover

Cut the crap, come over now

I'm gonna get you some help

Alright, alright

Honey, sorry, gotta run

Babe, I gotta go

Aw, I want that bag

Sure, let's go shopping

The best pick-up artists in town

Are all here

Let's welcome my girls...

The Barbie Army!

Hi, I'm Gigi

Hi, I'm Kiki

Hello, I'm Mimi

Hi, I'm Lily

Which one of you did I meet last time?

Hi

It's not just about you

The dinner tonight is
a matter of pride

Don't you dare embarrass us

Go

Now, loosen up

As they say, you are what you wear

Shanghai girls are

Fashionable

Sophisticated

And sweet

Show that Taiwan chick

Who she's messing with

Remember, grab every chance you get

To show cleavage

Strut your stuff

Drop something

That will do the trick

Opps!

Oops

If this is too hard for you

Then learn this

Take a selfie

You can post it online

Let everyone see it

Do these poses

One

Two

Five

One

Is that Dr. Evil?

Two Open your eyes

Two

Wider, wider

Like a scared baby

That's right

You got it

Relax. One, two, five

This is harder than I thought

That's all the basics

One, two, five

Good

Get out

Do you have a reservation, ma'am?

7 o'clock, Mr. Gong
7 o'clock

I'm sorry, ma'am

We don't have your reservation

Really?

Excuse me

What name is the reservation under?

What?

Feeling cold?

I'm just hungry

What the...

Angie, dear

It's so nice to meet you

Hubby told me so much about you

Wow!

You look just like I thought

Is that right? Yes

You are different than I thought

Seriously?

I don't wanna give a bad impression

Hi, Wang

Oh, it's you

Hey, sorry

I was rushing to pick her up

I forgot to call you

You didn't go to the restaurant,
right?

Hubby told me

You used to come here with him

When you were in college

I wanted to meet you

And

And hear his story from you

So we decided to eat here instead

Eh?

Angie, dear

Where did you use to sit?

Me?

Right where you are now

I hate you! I hate you!

You should have told me!

It's rude of me to take her seat

Angie, dear

Shall we

Switch our seats?

Right, you two should switch seats

You like sitting next to me

No, I'm good

Dinner's ready

(Let me take a look at that
foxy woman!)

You two are still together?
That's sweet

Well, we're...

Working together

This is my girlfriend

Hi, Wang

Wow

This looks delicious

You're cute, and you cook so well

No wonder hubby used to come here

I thought you hated taking pictures
of your food

People change

You of all people should know that

You're someone's hubby now,
aren't you?

When did that happen?

Last time I checked, you're still
a virgin

Ha ha

Not funny

You can tell she's a scheming vixen

She's got a nice rack though

Damn, this is bad

They lavish you with fake compliments

Angie, dear, I love what
you're wearing

I studied fashion design in France

And I had a thing for this kinda...

Theatrical outfit

But I always knew

I couldn't pull it off

It makes me look like a clown

I prefer something simpler

nothing flashy

You know?

She looks like Lady Gaga tonight

They act all innocent

They're really good at it

They make a man feel like a hero

I wish I could be more independent

Like you, Angie

Taking care of myself

But I just can't

Thank God my hubby was with me
last time

Without him I'd have lost my passport

Sweetie, did you tell dear Angie

About the blackout at my place?

Oh right

The other day... Stop

Stop! Stop! Stop!

It's so embarrassing

Fine, go ahead

I guess...

Angie's part of our family now

Exactly!

I think it's kinda cute, too

Alright

The other night she called me crying

The power went out at her place.
She got scared

So I took a cab and rushed over

Guess what?

Stop, really

Please stop

Don't tell her
It wasn't...

It wasn't a blackout

She just forgot to pay
the electric bill

I hate you

Angie, you wouldn't believe it

The whole place fell into darkness

But...

That's also the night we got together

I hate you

And worst of all, they can make a man

Do whatever they want

Hubby

Feed me

Be careful. It's hot

Here

Is it good?

I love it when you feed me

This is their signature dish,
rabbit stir fry

We used to order this all the time

What's wrong?

Is it too spicy? Drink some water

Here you go

What's wrong? Why are you crying?

How could you?

Bunnies are cute

You're so cruel

I used to have a pet rabbit

I was born in the year of the rabbit

Okay

Don't cry

(What should I do?)

Don't cry, my dear

We won't eat it anymore

That's so cruel

The tears are ruining your makeup

Don't cry, my darling

Please don't cry

I'll stop eating it

And so will you

Yuck, I hate rabbit meat

Don't cry, honey

She's still eating!

Girls don't eat bunnies. That's cruel

Now that's unfair

She's a dude

She pees standing up

Let's go. We're not eating it.

Let's go home

Don't cry

That was horrible

We'll be home soon

It's over

Whoa

Did someone break in last night?

You were right. I should just let go

I was so stupid

It was a trap

And I walked right into it

Alright

It was pretty bad

But that was just one night

We still have a chance

Hey!

What's this?

My aunt in Hong Kong sent it to me

She said I shouldn't get a dog
if I'm single

Or I'll end up like that woman
in the news

(Dead Spinster Eaten by Pets)

It's over

I'm hopeless

Just let me be

It's not over

Until I say so

Get up

Angie's been acting weird lately

She's not into me, is she?

If I were her

I'd crush you to death right now

When we were in college, we all knew

Angie's got a thing for you

But you've always treated her
like a dude

Is it that obvious?

But she's really like a bro to me

Fine, then

Has she ever peed standing
next to you?

Do you two ever flirt
with chicks together?

The thing is

I think of her as my bro from day one

There's nothing ladylike about her

I'm a dude, you know

I like sweet girls

If I were into butch girls

I might as well date a guy

Stop it

Nah

These dating apps

Are for men

What kind of girls would use them?

Normal girls

I'm telling you

Flirting is like being an assassin

You start with long range weapons

Like a sniper rifle

Keep your distance from the target

So that your attack wouldn't backfire

Now

Let's get started

With the basics – texting

I can text Marco right now

Why do I have to flirt with other men?

Unless you practice with strangers

You'll never know what
your weaknesses are

Not to mention...

Most men using these apps are otaku

They're pretty easy to deal with

Here, I did the installation

Take a picture first

Delete it
Why?

You think your double chin is sexy?

It's just a selfie

Watch And learn

High angle, chin down

Look up a little

Try to look innocent

That's the standard pose

Learn it well!

This is really lame

But guys love it
So learn it well

There're three things
you should remember

Angle, angle and angle

Hurry up

High angle

A bit higher

Higher still
Chin down

Look up a little

Chin down Act innocent

Make a pitiful face like an orphan

Now snap

Let's see

Always retouch your photos

Give her a hand

See if there's any guy
around worth sleeping

Or chatting with

Here you go. Hit it

He's hot!

Wow

People are actually responding

(You've added Wolf as a friend.
Start chatting)

Are they jobless or something?

What should I say?

Whatever you want
This guy's cute

Hi

My name's Angie

Wait, are you having a job interview?

How do you expect him to reply?

Always start with a question

Ask him, "What are you doing?"

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

(I'm wondering who's missing me now)

(Should I down Louis XIII
or Kinmen Liquor?)

(Yeah I'm doing it. Wanna join?)

Wait. Hold on

Remember, don't flirt like a loyal dog

You know what cats do?

They tease you

And ignore you when you
warm up to them

In a nutshell

Be passive aggressive

So should I reply him or not?

Think about what you wanna say

And reply him tonight

(I dunno, but you sound like
you miss me)

(Louis XIII's been dead for ages)

(Yeah I'm doing it. Wanna join?)

(Jerk)

(Who? I'll beat him for you)

(Then slap yourself 3 times)

(I'm not a jerk. I'm nice)

You're good at drawing

Why haven't you drawn me
anything before?

Why haven't you drawn for me?

That's amazing!

You're so awesome!

Angie drew them

When we were in college

Whenever she got bored

She'd draw on my notebook

I'm sure there was something
between you two

Of course not, she's a dude

Then why do you still have this

Next to your bed?

Cause there's nothing between us

Absolutely nothing

I don't have to hide it from you

Hey, don't be upset

What's wrong?

I just don't like it

Alright, don't be mad

Don't be mad, please

Let me show you something

What?

Put your hand inside

Quick

What is it?

A bit lower

Lower

Lower

Lower still

You feel something hard?

Grab it and pull it out

What's this?

You told me you wanna cycle
all the way

Around Taiwan with your friends

My leave application got rejected

But I got you a ticket

Have fun with your friends

You're the best

(What are you doing?)

Do you wanna

Get your hands

On something else?

(I'm with Hailey)

I still remember the look
on Angie's face...

When she draws. It's adorable

I've asked myself before

Whether I should try to date her

But somehow we're like parallel lines

No matter how close we are,
we never meet

Enough texting

Time to do some training on the ground

Go!

Angie

Quick, say something

I'm Mike

Keep your head up.
Your double chin's showing

Just say something

Quick Expats are great

I love them
Same here

I don't really care

As long as he's got a big nose

Hey

What should I say to him?

The key to flirting is

Just pretend you like whatever
the guy's saying

Whatever he says, just do this

Oh, really?

Tell me, please

I hate you

I have no idea

It works every time

Go ahead

Hey

Do you know how to play?

I have no idea

No problem. I'll teach you

But today is your first lesson

That's okay, I can teach you anyway

Your hand...

Feels really cold

Oops

Sorry

I forgot to tell you
my secret identity

I'm Mr. Freeze

These hands make great sushi

Really?

I love sushi

When can I get a taste of your sushi?

I'm afraid

There won't be a chance

The sushi business is shrinking

The market is too small

I did some research

And I thought

I'd be better off working as
a makeup artist

I'm straight though

Super straight. No worries

Place your left hand over
your right hand

The trick is

To thrust your hip

Good, nice. Now thrust it

That's my cell

Really?

Yes, it's just my cell

Now, pay attention

Watch your hands. Focus on the ball

Look down

And thrust your hip

Good, very good

Let me do it on my own

You don't have to help me
Alright. Go ahead

So...

You must know a lot of pretty girls

Not really

Company policy forbids us
from dating clients

I don't believe you

If they like your work

They would love to see you again

If they come and see me again

Then I'm in trouble

What do you think of my makeup today?

Your makeup?

It's nice

You look better than my clients

You're kidding No

It's obvious

You look healthy

My clients

They all look pale

I met a client this morning

She got her face caved in

I had no idea what she was thinking

She could've picked
a better place to land

When she jumped off that building

Why on earth

Would she land on a concrete slab?

What was I supposed to do
with her face?

You put makeup on dead people?

You shouldn't put it like that

I'm a "Makeup Consultant"
for the deceased

Let me tell you a secret

Eh?

Tell me, please

Have you heard of

Rocket poop?

What?

Really?

I was driving one night

Suddenly my stomach started to hurt

I reached an intersection.
There was nobody around

I pulled over, came out of the car

And pooped on the spot

It felt amazing

You know what happened next?

I have no idea

Pooping in a toilet is one thing

But when you poop on the ground

When you push really hard

The poop that comes out...

It would push you upward

Once I was done, I got back to the car

I turned and looked

Gosh, my poop was just standing there

Like a monument or something

Right at the intersection.
It was L-shaped

I hate you!

Listen

If we get together

you have to promise me

No matter how much we fight

You'll never jump off a building

But if you really wanna, let's say...

Jump off a building

Make sure you land on grass

It's much softer

I hate you!

Angie...

What did I do wrong?

It's the way you say

I hate you

But I learned it from you

Where did I go wrong?

When you flirt

You gotta sugarcoat

Even when you're insulting the guy

I hate you

Stop it

Go away

If you look him in the eye and say

I hate you!

Then you're screwed

But my mom used to say
we should always

Look people in the eye
when we talk to them

I hate you

I hate you

I hate you

I hate you

I hate you

I hate you

Hey you!

You're stealing my oranges again

Oops, we didn't do it on purpose

We didn't know they were yours

We had no idea

I just wanna get a taste

They're so expensive

Alright, just don't take them all

You're the best! Thank you

You gotta be kidding me

Where have you been?

This is the power of flirting

I hate you

I hate you

Am I doing it right?

Hey, I'm getting better at this,
right?

Yes, much better
I hate you

I hate you

Wow, that's a big one

I hate you

(IOU Coupon)

You have talent in art

But you gave that all up for Marco

Was it worth it?

I wanted to be with him

So I got a job in Shanghai

If you could choose again

Would you stay and work here

Or continue with your sculpting?

I don't know

I really don't know

What do you like about him?

He's cute, don't you think?

He cares about me, and he shows it
in funny ways

What was that?

You're a girl. Cover your mouth
when you yawn

Stuffing your mouth? That's what you
call "caring"?

Well then, I know a lot of guys

Who care about me

You can't go head to head with her

You don't have what it takes

You'll just fight a losing battle

Hi

Do you miss silly goose?

I miss you every night

So much that I'd cry

I hate you

Alright, I gotta go

See you tonight

Bye

Where were we?

I'm fighting a losing battle

Oh yes

Well, she's out of town now.
Grab the chance.

Tell Marco you like him

No way

I've known him for years

He's always treated me like a dude

I wouldn't know what to say

What's the best time to have
an office romance?

Enlighten me

Business trips

My leggies miss you

Tell them

I miss them too

(IOU Coupon)

No way!

You still have it with you?

Come and see the Ju Ming exhibition
with me

What?

He's having an exhibition in Shanghai?

No, we're going to Taipei

Why?

We have a case in Taipei

I got you two days off

So come with me, okay?

But you didn't approve my leave
last time

Why's that?

Why would I let you emasculate
yourself

And do everything that princess wants?

What about now?

Now's the time...

For you to return all the favors
I did you

Define the law of diminishing returns

Within a certain period of time...

Consumer goods would...

As the number of goods increases...

Consumers would...

What?

I'm so tired!

Let me take a nap

Please!

No, you jerk!

Cause I'm stuck here with you,
I missed the Ju Ming exhibition

Wake up!

What's this?

(IOU Coupon)

I know you're doing all this for me

I promise I'll make it up to you
one day

Just let me take a nap

Please

Hey, we got you a survival kit

For your trip

Look at this

That's a lot

Well, you're spending a few nights
with him

There's more

This is way too much

Not at all

Wait till you see what she got you

What's that?

Undies

Do people actually wear that?

Try it on

They look like flying guillotines

I hate you

What?
You just nailed it

It sounds just right

Do it again

I hate you

Not so good. Again

Get in the mood

I hate you

You're almost there

Again, again I hate you

Again I hate you

I hate you

Thanks, y'all

Good luck!
You can do it

Go! Yeah!

You wanna beat that vixen?
Learn from her

Sleep on his shoulder

You know what, sleeping
on his shoulders...

It's just not doable

Why do I have to copy the things
that bitch does?

Ma'am, please turn off
your cell phone. Thank you

Did you just call somebody a bitch?

What? No

Well, I was asking
the flight attendant

If there's any...

Beach

In Taipei

By the way

Don't tweet anything during the trip

Hailey might get the wrong idea

I told her I couldn't leave work

Now I'm going to Taipei

She'd think I ditched her on purpose

Why would she think that?

You're here because you owe me

Isn't he a jerk?

Well

Think about it

He's asking you to be discreet

If he doesn't have feelings for you

He wouldn't do that

Be more aggressive

How?

That'd be embarrassing

We're waging war, girl.
Can't play it safe

There will be blood

Trust me

Get out of your comfort zone

Men...

Are like a pile of hay

Give them a match

And they'll burn themselves up

Anyway, I gotta go

Maybe you should watch porn with him

That's kinda hard to pull off

Let me think about it

I wanna try that!

What?

Can I have one? Of course

How much? 50 TWD

Thank you

Welcome Thanks

Pairing tomatoes with prunes

Have a bite

Is it good?
It's really good, c'mon

Who came up with this idea?

Pairing tomatoes with prunes?

They don't seem to match

Whoever did this is a genius

Cut the tomato in half,
and stuff in a prune

How did he come up with it?

Maybe

He was eating prunes

And then someone offered him a tomato

He mixed the flavors together

Found it amazing

And came up with the recipe

Wow! Wow!

That's a lot of red beans

They should register this

As intangible cultural heritage

With the UN

You're crazy

Wow! Cotton candy!

And it's blue!

What?
I wanna play!

Eh? I wanna ride this

This one
It's for kids

So what?

Forget it

Look, they're all playing

You take this one

It's perfect for you

Get on

Come on Seriously?

Seriously

Hey you!

These are for kids

You grown-ups would break them

Excuse me, sir

He's my brother

He's retarded

He loves riding this thing

If you don't let him

He'll get upset. Please

Doo-doo

He'll poop right here

Pee-pee Please

Doo-doo, doo-doo

Ma'am Doo-doo

Please don't do that to your boyfriend

He's trying so hard to please you

He's obviously not retarded

Oops

So you can tell?

Of course

I'm not retarded

Go ahead. I gotta doo doo

Thank you Thank you so much

Open you mouth

Let's take another one

One, two, cheese!

What's up? Are you done?

Any update?

What's the noise?

We're riding the plane

Is that some kinda fancy position?

Stop it

Time's running out

When that vixen comes...back

Then it's all over for you

Grab your chance now

Can you be more specific?

You know what men like?

Kinky girls

Okay, I'll try

Okay, bye bye

Bye

Nice pussy

There you are

Thanks for finding my pussy

My pleasure

Here I come!

I'm going back to my room

See you tomorrow

Good night

You too

Hey!

Sleep tight

What's up?

Wanna watch some porn?

Come

There isn't any adult channel
on this thing

And they say Taiwan
is a decadent place?

I'm going back then

Wait, I have an idea

It should be easy

Alright

What's this?

Curling. We used to watch this
in the dorm

It's just like

Watching porn

No way

Give it a try

Close your eyes

Right?

But it sounds exhausting

Well, each national team has
its own style

With the Europeans and Americans,
for example

There's a sense of joy and excitement

The Japanese, on the other hand

When they moan, you can feel
a kinda pain

But there's also a sense of desire

Oh no, please stop

Aww, gimme more

Stop, please

I'm tired

Good night

It's raining so hard

Should we go or wait here?

Let's wait here

(Feeling like a kid again
in Taipei night market)

Excuse me. I'm going to
the Juming Museum

Should I take the bus here?

Yes

Just take the bus from Taipei
to Jinshan

Thanks

Baby, calm down

Please don't cry

We should wait here

Alright

Send me your address

Okay, bye

What's wrong?

I gotta go to Taichung

You really don't have to come with me

You should go to the exhibition

We were supposed to see it together

It'd be boring to go on my own

What's wrong with Hailey?

I don't know either

She was crying terribly

I guess she hurt her leg or something

By the way

You left this in my room last night

What is it?

It's...

I'm surprised you don't know

It's a flying guillotine

What?

Flying guillotine, you know

Well, I went to...

Watch a movie with a friend
the other day...

It's called "The Guillotines"

This is just a souvenir

They gave away at the cinema

Oh

No, it's okay. Just throw it away

Babe

Hubby

Are you okay?

Where did you get hurt?

Here, look

When I got up this morning

I tripped and fell

My friends all cycled on

And left me here by myself

Thank god you're here. What would I do
without you?

Is that it?

I was scared. I don't want any scars!

Hubby, you told me you like my legs

So...

I was terrified

If I get a scar on my leg
you won't like me anymore

And then I got really sad

I couldn't stop crying

Don't be silly

You think I'm that shallow?

I won't leave you

Even if you lose your legs

Really?

Of course

You still got a nice rack

Hey!

I hate you

I told you

I just wanted a fling

I've been seeing my girlfriend
for 7 years

She's wonderful

Why would I wanna leave her?

Fine

I'll call her now and break up
with her

Hey

That foxy woman

Must've read my tweet

She's sabotaging my plan

What are you gonna do then?

She ruined my trip. I'll ruin hers

Poor Hailey

It really hurts, huh?

I'm fine

Hubby's here. It's alright now.

Angie, dear

You should go to the exhibition
in Taipei

Don't worry about me

Okay?

Hubby

Let's walk Angie to the station,
shall we?

Sure

Hailey, dear Yes?

Do you really hate me that much?

What? Why?

You're the best, Angie

Is that true? Yes

Well, I love this place.
It's really relaxing

And I haven't gone cycling for so long

Let's go cycling together

What do you think?

Marco?

Sure!

I'd like that

It'd be fun to spend time with Angie

I'm so excited!
Yeah!

I'm thrilled that the three of us...

Are going cycling together!

Great!

That's really great!
I'm so thrilled!

Marco? Yes?

We're going cycling together.
Aren't you excited?

Yeah!

Hey...

Did you see the news?

It's so lame

There's this guy

His friends gave him a can of soda

Hold on...

So he put it in the refrigerator

After a few weeks

He took it out

For some reason

The can just kept on swelling

He didn't know what to do

He didn't know how to get rid of it

So he just...

Kept holding it in his hands

And finally the can just...

Exploded!

He got hit in the eye

My tummy hurts so much.
That's hilarious

What's so funny about it?

Maybe I'm a simple person

I love to laugh

Do you think it's funny?

Eh?

It's pretty funny

Right?

Yeah!

He left it there for weeks...

Hubby, I wanna eat those sausages

Hello Three, please

Okay
I love street food

I bet you like meatballs too?

Eep! You're making me blush

I meant chicken nuggets

Let her go

She had some last night

Stop laughing!

Here you go

Thanks, hubby

Would you like a sausage too?

Hey, hubby

I wanna drink green tea

Can you go and buy it for me?

Sure

You want some?

Green tea? Yeah

No!

Angie, you're wasting your time

No matter what you do

Hubby will never fall for you

Just give up

Why are you so sure?

Every boyfirend I've had

Is stuck to me like glue

I've seen women much younger
and sexier than you

They flirt much better too

None of them managed to take me down

You actually had the guts to come
all the way here

Look at yourself, for Christ's sake

Don't be so sure

When he kissed me in bed
the other night

It didn't seem like you were
on his mind at all

You think a one-night-stand would

Turn the tides? You think I'd care?

Men are all scumbags

I don't give a damn

To me...

He's just a boy toy

You're pretty. You know how to flirt

If you're not really into him

Why are you messing with him?

To be honest

I was just teasing him
on the bus that day

But then he couldn't stop
talking about you

I got really pissed off

So I arranged a dinner

To see who the hell you are

That night he split
your chopsticks for you

Right in front of me

I hate it when he's so nice to you

Even when I'm just right next to him

I decided right away
to fight this battle

Are you out of your mind?

Love's not a competition

That's what the losers say

And I'm...

not a loser

You know what happened the other day?

All I did was whine a little

Then he got rid of that notebook

With all your Ju Ming sketches

Hubby!

Hubby!

What happened? Why are you crying?

What's wrong? Don't cry, babe

Don't cry

Maybe

I did something wrong

And Angie got mad

You lying vixen!

Hey!

Can you just stop picking on
this little girl

For my sake?

Marco Gong

I'm gonna ask you this only once

Are you coming with me?

Stop it

Where do you want me to go?

Where are you going?

Hey! Where are you going?

Don't cry

Where are we going?

Follow my direction

Okay

Right

Left

Right

Left

Juming Museum

Ju Ming is famous for his chiseling

It's sharp and quick

It's effortless

When I learned sculpting as a kid

I always admired his quick,
forceful strokes

Because I hesitate
too much when I work

But not this time

I jumped in with no thought

But the chisel cut me up

Until I couldn't recognize
myself anymore

But I'm made of flesh, not stone

Does he know the pain

He's caused me?

You don't think she had an accident?

I can't reach her

She can take care of herself

Don't worry

She's never missed my call

Maybe something happened to her

I gotta go back to Taipei

Don't go!

Hubby!

You came here to see me

Not her

Besides...

She was bullying me

How come you're on her side?

What happened exactly?

Why would she yell at you
all of a sudden?

I have no idea

Maybe she's jealous?

What did you say to her?

Nothing

I was just telling her

No matter how close you two used to be

You're my guy now

So...

I wouldn't let her fawn over you

Don't even think about it

It's nothing like that

You're thinking too much

I don't believe you

When I told her you threw away

That notebook with all her sketches

Because of me

I could tell from her face

She's really into you

What?

Why did you have to tell her that?

See!

Why are you all riled up?

I hate you!

Make your choice now

It's me or her

Answer me

Answer me!

I used to wonder
when I read the tabloids

Why girls like Paris Hilton

Never really have a decent love life?

They flirt too much

After a while

All the sweet talk gets
really annoying

I'm going back to Taipei

Are you looking for someone?

Sorry

Did Angie Zhang switch
to another room?

I'm her friend

Miss Zhang checked out already

Thank you

Michael

I haven't seen Angie for two days

Is she on leave?

You haven't heard?

She resigned

Where did she go?

I was about to ask you the same thing

Is she working for Qiu now?

Why did she quit right after the trip?

I don't know

Anyway, Angie told me

To let you lead the team

Good luck. I'm counting on you

Marco Gong!

Marco Gong! Not again!

You jerk!

Marco Gong!

Sorry, Excuse me

Hey!

Your bike got stolen again?

Yes

Why would he leave me a wheel?

That's pretty kind of him

Every time I lost my bike

Angie would always take me home

But this time

I think I've lost her

Hey

I thought...

You were bringing your girlfriend

We broke up

What?

We broke up!

Already?

Where's Angie?

The other day

She dropped by
and gave me a birthday gift

She said she'd come back

When was that?

Two days ago

What did she give you?

What did you say?

What did she give you?

She gave me this

You know what, over the years

I've helped many people
unlock their doors

But there's one door

That I can't open,
no matter how hard I try

The door to your heart

Son

Deep down you know she likes you

But you never take her seriously

Angie

Is like a fool

For sticking around
What did I do wrong?

I had no idea

I only found out recently

You think she's a dude
and you joke about it

But think about it

That's exactly why

You like her

Well...

I'm not comfortable
with her getting flirty

I like our little fights though

Your mom passed away too soon

And I was busy working all the time

We made you feel insecure

You were afraid she'd reject your love

So you shut her out, right?

She's been hiding from me.
What can I do?

Do you know

Why kids like playing hide-and-seek?

Because they want to be found

I fear the stillness in the air

I'm really grateful

Thank you for all the help
you've given me

I fear the memories we share

They haunt me and leave me in despair

So you're going to Hangzhou?

Yes

I wanna go to grad school

I gave up too much for that jerk

I haven't sculpted anything for years

Okay

Look at this

Bottoms up

Bon voyage

Where are you?

Are you feeling blue?

All of a sudden I miss you

I'm having adéjà vu

Tears blurring my view

What are you doing here?

Listen, I'm kinda an insecure guy

My mom died when I was a kid

We were not a wealthy family

When I meet a girl I like, I get shy

Then I met you. The timing was perfect

But I was too scared
and stupid to ask you out

I was selfish. I thought
I was protecting you

But I was protecting myself
Forget it

And uh...

You know

I realized

You're like the tomato

And I'm the prune

Although we are in the same basket

All we are is close

I never thought we would
go well together

Until I entered you by accident

And realized we're a perfect match

It's...

Just a figure of speech

Perfect match? Bullshit

You listened to that woman
and threw everything away

I didn't!

You know what?

I've kept

Everything you gave me

Even the flying guillotine

You told me to throw away

I kept it but I didn't tell you

I used it to decorate my phone

What's the point?

You're seeing someone now

I broke up with Hailey

I told her

I'm not interested in girls

I always thought

I should find myself

A sweet girlfriend

But after the trip

I came to terms with myself

My desires

I'm...

Gay

You

Are my true love

Wait a second

Why would that turn you
into a gay man?

That's not the point

The thing is

I love you

Angie

You don't have to change
yourself for me

You're a dude, and that's fine

I'm the one

Who has to do a little adjustment

Now I know...

What kinda person I am

And I know

I need someone like you

I love you just the way you are

I'm sorry

Go get him!

Where are you going?

I don't expect you to forgive me

I'm gonna spend the rest of my life

Thinking about the mistakes I made

You wish

I still have a lot of
IOU coupons with me

I'll use them all.
You're not going anywhere

I know better now

There's no use sweet talking to you

I'll let you do all the sweet talking

So

Can silly goose forgive pighead?

Hang on

What if you run into another girl

With a nice rack

And she's really good at flirting?

What would you do?

Absolutely nothing

I told you. I'm gay

Girls...

I'm fed up with them

I just wanna spend time

With my hot boyfriend

I hate you

Let's go!

I wanna eat some bunnies

Alright!

Let's bite their heads off!

Let's go! Go!

Talk about passive aggressive

What a pro

Produced, Story & Directed by
Pang Ho-Cheung

Written by Pang Ho-Cheung
Luk Yee Sum Zhang Youyou

Inspired by Toolbook Everyone Loves
Tender Women by LOVERMAN

Produced by Subi Liang

Producer Zhang Dajun

Associate Producer Kenny Chan

Administrative Producers
Bernard Yang Helen Li

Co-starring Sui Tang Sie Yi Lin

Guest Appearance

Qu Niciren Li Fangding
Yang Kaidi Ni Musi

Special Appearance Hong Hong

Director of Photography Jake Pollock

Image Designer Man Lim Chung

Art Director Kong Hun Lim

Editor Wenders Li (H.K.S.E.)

Original Music Alan Wong Janet Yung

Sound Designer Tu Duu-Chih

Oh

My love

My darling

I've hungered for your touch

A long

Lonely time

And time

Goes by so slowly

And time can do so much

Are you still mine

I need your love

I need your love

God speed your love to me

Lonely rivers flow to the sea

What's wrong?

It's really cold in here

Can I put my shirt on?

But we're doing “Ghost”

You can't treat me like a slave

One IOU coupon

And I end up like this

You still have a lot of coupons left

God knows what would happen to me!

Shh...

Pamper me now

Then I'll tip you

With another coupon, alright?

Thank you, your majesty

Are you still mine?

I need your love