Why Is Mother in My Bed? (1994) - full transcript
Calm down, Antoine.
Calm down.
Above all, whatever
happens, don't call Mom.
Are you all right, darling?
Are you all right?
Yes.
Fine.
You're not afraid?
No.
Of what?
I see that all is well.
I'm going to bed.
Don't be afraid, mom.
It's only a storm.
If you say so.
It's just an atmospheric
disturbance,
characterized by
electrical phenomena...
that flame up the clouds,
causing the rain. Nothing else.
Ah?
It's Dad.
Oh...
WHY IS MOM IN MY BED?
Why is mom in my bed? Why?
Actually, if Mom is in my bed,
it's because Dad is
no longer in his. Yes.
So why is Dad no longer in his?
Because he left.
It's been 3 weeks,
2 days, 16 hours and...
32 minutes.
It started less than a year
ago, on Christmas Eve.
- Let go of me. Stop.
- Move on.
- You're cute.
- Come on, Gilbert, in the cell.
Parents' name and address.
- Hey?
- Yes?
Well done.
Will you talk? Or I throw
you in the cell...
with Bonehead Toto...
and Crazy Nini.
For the 2,182nd time I ask you...
Come here!
Parents' name and address.
Parents' name and address!
In May 1968, my dad was kept
in custody for 76 hours...
without saying a word, so...
An orphan, perhaps?
Hey, are you sleeping?
An orphan?
Oh no...
My poor, poor little darling.
Orphan, jacket thief,
vagabond and mute.
A really bad start in life, kid.
But I have ways
to make you talk.
Adolphe!
Adolphe?
Is it ready?
I want to go home.
He's talking... Adolphe, come.
He's talking.
To go where? You don't
have an address.
Good. It's us now.
Come on, sit there.
My bag was stolen.
Is that what you wanted?
Hey, I'm talking to you!
You don't like it?
My name is Antoine Cuzin.
I live at 4 allée des Tilleuls.
Pierre?
Quick, the Christmas
cake is coming.
- Oh, look...
- Oh...
Bravo, bravo.
What a cacophony, oh...
If we could hear their souls, which
must already be quite black.
Mom's parents, from Nice for Christmas Eve.
"No comment."
You always exaggerate.
They are just kids.
I heard them in concert.
They were beautiful, dressed in white,
so pure. They have no evil thoughts.
Lucie: Mom's best friend,
and her neighbor. Nice.
It's the the devil's beauty.
We have to be wary.
Yes, clothes don't make the man.
Nor the jacket, the rocker.
Georges: Lucie's husband.
Dad's high school buddy.
Don't exaggerate. He
pinched one jacket...
not a stock.
Lucie and Georges's son.
First a jacket, and due to
parents' laxness, off to jail.
- Especially when you get caught.
- But mind you,
I didn't say he
won't be punished.
Yes, of course, but
it's Christmas, right?
Let's eat the Christmas cake later.
It's presents time!
Presents make you feel good.
I like to give presents.
- It makes me tingle all over.
- Typical.
Cathy, my sweet sister,
1st year psychology.
When she thinks hard, she perspires.
She was up to something.
Yes. It's linked to the pleasure
you felt on the potty.
Silly mothers tell their
child on the potty:
- "Show me the pretty gift you made."
- Is that why I tingle?
Antoine stole that jacket because
you couldn't buy him one.
And that is because Dad
doesn't earn enough.
So, to resolve this situation,
Dad has to earn more,
but that is impossible.
He's not responsible.
He's doomed to failure
with no potential to win.
Something's fishy
with those diplomas.
- Admit it. You despise money.
- No, I don't.
It's not totally false.
That's enough from you.
Okay, Miss Know-it-all. Why
am I an economics teacher?
To prove that
capitalism is rotten.
But it is rotten, Cathy.
That's Christian morality.
- Oh no, Karl Marx was an atheist.
- He was broke.
- That morality comes from your parents.
- But God, no.
- Grandpa...
- Charles.
Yes, that's it. Thankfully
I was watchful.
Therefore, a child
in need of money
steals, plunders, and sinks
into despicable crime.
He ends up in jail when
he becomes of age.
She'll go far, that girl.
She takes after me.
- It's monstrous.
- Thank you.
What is it?
Shall we open the presents?
Other than that, all was fine. The
tree sparkled, the crib glittered,
and my dad was freaking out.
You are the queen of bitches.
Your father is a great guy.
Pierre, is this for me?
- Yes.
- They are wonderful.
Thank you, darling.
I love to see my parents kiss.
- What?
- What's that?
- Another guest?
- No.
Disgraceful!
Honey, look.
Look at the nice present
Georges gave to Lucie.
I knew your father was
corny, but not that much.
Shall we take a look?
How nice.
Dad, Mom never got her
driver's license.
Precisely, we must be positive.
I love being positive.
- Pure leather.
- Oh, honey...
Can I sit down? Yes?
He's right.
Besides, you know what? No.
They probably exchanged
us in the maternity.
- Look at that, it's funny.
- Yes.
You know what he also gave me?
Dad bought Mom earrings that
match last year's necklace.
Really?
I bet they are very expensive.
You're right. It's the thought
that counts, not the price.
Pierre! Where's the champagne?
It's Christmas. Damn it!
We're coming, sweetheart.
Where did he go? He
needs to see it.
No, no, no.
I know it's your car, but
I'll drive it for now.
No, no.
Nothing was damaged?
- It won't last long.
- I know.
Resign yourself.
Maybe it's for the best.
It has suffered so much.
Yes.
We'll still buy used car, and will
still play catch-up with Georges
as we drive to a holiday
villa rented by him.
Have you taken seriously
what your daughter said?
Me? No, I have a
teacher's salary.
Come on, they're waiting for us.
- You don't love me only for my money.
- I love you for your brains.
- And because I'm the best-looking guy.
- Especially naked.
Ten days later, we were back
from Christmas holidays.
5,
4,
3,
2,
1,
go!
Mom, I don't have any panties.
In the laundry basket, sweetheart.
Mom? And my sneakers?
Under the stairs to the cellar.
Véro, my love, where
are my shoes?
Where you left them last
night: Under the chair.
Good. Everyone is here.
Because I made a big decision.
I know that it will
be hard for you,
but I weighed the pros and cons.
Especially the cons.
Pierre, you won't agree, but
I understand your reasons.
Good.
You love to find me home in the evening.
You are like that.
Don't add more butter.
And you still need your mother.
- Dad, the jam please?
- Yes.
Even if Freud may
have all the answers.
You drank all the milk!
Pisses me off!
My dear, I'm thinking
especially of you.
I'm not abandoning you.
Dad, she pinched the butter.
Come on!
I'm asking for 5 minutes of
attention. It's not that hard.
I have something
important to tell you.
I'm going to find a job.
It's the only solution to
improve our standard of living.
We'll talk later.
I'm terribly late.
Goodbye, darling. Good luck.
Bye, Mom.
Do you know what you wanna do?
Well, no, but... no.
Antoine, hurry up.
Coming.
Okay. Bye, Mom.
Hello.
- Hello, madam.
- Hello.
Hello. Will you follow me?
Over here.
Antoine, can you
wait here, please?
See you later.
Thank you for coming.
I'll ask some routine
questions, if you don't mind.
You are a teacher, right?
- And you, housewife.
- Absolutely.
My children never had a nanny, eat
only fresh, never canned food.
- I buy groceries every other day. Even...
- Yes, I see.
How long have you been married?
- 20 years.
- 20 years?
- That's amazing.
- Yes.
And regarding...
- Are you doing alright?
- Regarding what?
Yes, well... In the
evenings after TV?
What about it?
Regarding sex. She wants
to know how it goes.
Is there a connection
to the theft?
I try to understand
what drove your son...
Very well. Sexually,
it's going very well.
What about yourself?
That's not the issue.
Ah well, we agree.
Good. Let's continue.
You live in a suburban
neighborhood.
- We have a very big house.
- With a teacher's salary?
It's a gift from my parents.
- Oh, I see.
- You see what?
- We all need a little help.
- Hey!
No, really. It's
a family heirloom.
Good. I see.
- And you never thought of a divorce?
- No.
- Not even once? For a second?
- No.
- No quarreling?
- That's insane! What's this crap?
Calm down, dear, there's
no reason to get upset.
Miss, my husband, my children
and I are a family,
with its problems, but
also joy and love.
It's not sappy happiness...
but we are happy.
Well, look no further, huh.
Your son is completely
marginalized.
Excuse me, but I don't
quite understand.
If I understand
what she's saying,
since we have no problems
and we love our children,
our son feels marginalized.
Right?
Not only does he feel
marginalized... but he is!
So he steals... to
be like his mates.
Today... the norm is the fringe.
And the fringe... is the norm.
My parents concluded
that I had to apologize...
to the shop owner,
so she would drop the charges.
Madam, I apologize...
and I beg you to excuse me.
Madam, I apologize...
and I beg you to excuse me.
Yes?
Yes.
Yes, yes.
Yes.
But... I'll call you back.
It's our little thief.
My God, the poor laddie.
Rule number 1: Dickens heroes.
Madam, I apologize...
and I beg you to excuse me.
Why should I?
It's my parents' fault because
they love each other.
So?
I couldn't care less!
I'm waiting.
It's a mistake of youth. I'll
work hard to pay you back.
I swear on my sick mother.
I've better things to do.
Why should I excuse you?
I don't know.
Are you about to give in?
I can't hold it all day.
Come on, Ms. Lucette, the
laddie returned the jacket.
Of course, Gisou, of course.
"Yeah!"
- Children are so beautiful when they cry.
- That is true.
Sadist.
You got scolded by
your parents, right?
Did they beat you?
Hard?
Poor laddie.
Your father beats you often?
When he is unemployed.
And your mom, honey?
She...
She... She... I...
- She drinks.
- Yes, she drinks, that's it.
- I was sure.
- Laddie...
- But she takes good care of us.
- Us?
Me and my sister.
I'm the eldest, and
she just turned 2.
She spends her days with the
"free-nanny"... whom we never pay.
- I have to go, otherwise...
- I know.
I went through the
same, you know.
But you can overcome it.
It takes a lot of will.
But if you want, you can.
Look.
And the charges... madam?
Forget it, sweetie.
I had a difficult
childhood, too.
Don't you have it in size 38?
Or 40.
Yes, I'm coming.
He's showing his disagreement
with a society alien to him.
I thought it was his father not
earning enough... Make up your mind.
He just wanted a
jacket like his friends.
- Anyway, it's not very serious.
- Oh no, of course.
My son steals, and says I am an alcoholic,
my daughter crucifies her father...
and a crazy cop says we marginalize our
children because we love each other.
A teacher's salary is not enough
for a family with 2 teenagers.
Actually, it was just a dare.
Happiness can be
disgusting sometimes.
In no time, Mom got an interview with
Goody-Goody, a trendy decorator.
Well, I'm 40 years old...
barely.
Well, almost.
I have an English diploma and
a Masters in art history.
I decorated my whole house.
I have a strong taste for dreamy,
playful effects... fairy-tale-like.
I decorated my children's room inspired
by "Alice in Wonderland", with...
a door between two rooms.
- A door? Very original, Ms. Cuzin.
- You can only go through on all four.
My children had a lot of fun.
Mom, who cares. You have an interview with
the trendiest decorator of Poitiers.
Above all, you need a makeover.
You have to live with the times.
With whom?
She was scared so we
all gave her advice.
The result: My mother
was unrecognizable.
I have an appointment with Mr.
Lespion.
- The door at the end.
- Over there?
Thank you.
No...
Comparing the schedules of
a schoolboy and an adult,
I'd rather be working,
so I can have some fun.
I don't know why,
but when they complain, I
think they exaggerate.
- Decorators work in a weird circle.
- I'll search in human relations.
Antoine, will you
collect the balls?
Human relations is a
weird circle, too.
- Yes, it's true.
- Well, yes, it's true.
If I were you, I'd try to
keep my wife at home.
What?
The kids are grown, so she feels a bit
useless. She needs to assert herself.
- If I had the means, I'd stay at home.
- I'm sure you'll have lots of fun.
- Work is rewarding.
- It's the money that is rewarding.
Shit.
Thanks.
You're sweet. Thanks.
Professional male-female
relationships are based on sex.
Where did you get that?
To convince an employer just slide
your nylons. That drives them crazy.
I serve.
- What do you know? You've never worked.
- True, but on the other hand, I have...
You have what?
Stop worrying about me.
I'm worried about me.
- Is he better?
- I put a cutlet on his eye.
Amazing how he got distracted.
- Have you noticed, Véro?
- What?
Lucie does everything you do.
It's true.
When you met Pierre,
Lucie fell in love
with me because...
I was his best friend.
You started Tupperware meetings...
Lucie did, too.
- You got a child, she too.
- A girl and then a second one, you didn't.
Not for lack of trying.
I assure you.
What are you trying to tell me?
Are you afraid that Lucie
will start looking for work,
and that she'll give in
to sexual harassment?
Is that it?
I'm sorry, but I need a job.
So?
- How goes the hopeless search?
- Morale is good.
You want to tell me something.
Let's suppose I give you money.
Discreetly of course.
Would you agree?
- Why would I agree?
- Stop playing dumb, will you?
If I understand correctly,
you want to give me money so
Véro doesn't find work...
and your wife stays at home.
- Conditionally, of course.
- Of course.
If we can imagine that,
would you agree?
It depends on how
much we imagine.
Well... 2000 francs each month.
- You ought to have more imagination!
- Let's imagine 3000.
Unimaginable to see Dad
negotiating over Mom.
- 5000.
- You're hallucinating.
I imagine no more than 4000.
It's 5000 or nothing.
Okay. Let's imagine 5000.
At this point, I imagine that you're
a dumb-ass that takes me for a pimp.
You're right. I didn't
think about that.
- Good thing we were just imagining.
- Good thing we were just imagining.
Yes, that's why. There's Antoine.
Your snack is in the kitchen.
A week later, to
Georges's dismay,
Mom found work.
He has been briefed
by the "big boss".
In fact he was reprimanded!
She was a receptionist
at an ad agency.
Pierre, why can't I talk about
something else? It's not normal.
And what about you, my love?
Ah, you won't come
home for dinner?
Yes, I...
Yes.
I thought it wasn't normal
to always speak about work?
Till tonight, my love. Yes.
Mom, is a receptionist
important or not?
Sure, very important.
Imagine, it's the first contact.
If someone wants to entrust an ad
to Mr. Lomé... Mr. Lomé is my boss.
If I don't answer correctly, nicely,
he'll hang up angry and will
contact another agency.
- So without you, there won't be business.
- In a way, yes.
- You're not the one creating the ads?
- Ah well, no. Sorry.
Now we're alone, we'll have
a romantic evening, okay?
Cathy and father are gone,
we'll have a TV dinner at will.
- Dinner or TV?
- Both.
Before, she'd never
have proposed that.
One thing was certain...
and only I had noticed...
My mother was no longer herself.
Something shows
up in all copies,
despite the different
names you give it:
"To earn fat stacks, dead presidents,
greenbacks, big bucks, dough."
A job is not just to make money.
Money is an end, not a means.
Antoine understood his mother's
new profession very well,
and gave specific examples.
- His mom is... - Receptionist.
- Not at all. Designer.
Fuck! A French
assignment is secret.
She invented commercials
for Coca-Cola,
The Laughing Cow...
All commercials.
Well, he perfectly understood
the creative side of the job.
He didn't talk about money.
Be wary.
Money is a drug.
An addiction.
Look at Antoine, for example.
Oh no...
He's the only one without
a leather jacket.
Is he any less happy?
Yes.
Of course not.
I was the only one without
divorced parents.
That's why I didn't
have a leather jacket.
According to Cathy, a divorced father buys
you a jacket out of feelings of guilt.
Remarkable!
Antoine? Are you dreaming?
No, sir.
Repeat what I said.
You asked me if I was dreaming.
Quiet.
That's right. You were dreaming.
I said that money
doesn't buy happiness.
Poverty either.
Quiet.
What a mess here.
What is it, my Antoine?
I didn't get my snack.
Listen, you're old enough to...
Come here.
Super Mom was back. She had
resumed her primary job,
and in less that an hour, the
house was spic and span.
Hi.
Oh, I had an awesome
class today.
It was on obsess...
obsessional neurosis.
I should tell you about it.
Mom wanted to shut up my sister.
- Hi everyone.
- Hello.
Everything okay, darling?
You know what my boss said? That I
am an exceptional receptionist.
Everything I do, I do well.
Isn't it, darling?
There are children here.
Even without her Walkman,
your daughter hears nothing.
You only think about that.
- Yes.
- Yes.
- My tailor is not rich.
- I'll be in the study.
My tailor is rich.
How to know? Is he rich or not?
He's Robin Hood.
- Mom, can you help me?
- Ask your father. I'm busy.
Dad?
- Yes?
- Can you help me?
I have 80 papers to grade, plus
preparations for my trainees.
What are we eating tonight?
I don't know. Shall we
go to the restaurant?
You are supposed to make
us spareribs tonight.
You were supposed to tidy up
the living room this morning.
Mom... when I took an additional
course in philosophy,
I didn't stop my
psychology courses,
and I didn't ask anybody
to go in my place.
It was rather then that Mom
wanted to shut up Cathy.
- Mom, I have no more panties.
- And my sneakers?
Véro, my love, where
are my shoes?
Mom?
- Mom.
- Honey.
PUSH
Dear Cathy, your panties
are in the laundry basket.
Sweetie, your sneakers
are under the stairs.
My love, your shoes
are under the chair,
where you left them last night.
Just heat the milk.
Your father ought to manage.
He was a cub scout in his youth.
Wait, I haven't finished.
Remember to clear the
table and do the dishes.
Cathy, please tidy
up the living room.
Pierre, don't
forget the garbage,
Antoine, lock the
door when you leave.
I love you.
It's 7:25. You're
10 minutes late.
- What?
- Shit.
That night was a great night
even if you couldn't see it yet.
The three of us had
decided to surprise her.
She'll be here soon,
but no panic.
Fortunately, you
were a cub scout.
What's a cub scout?
You remember Snow White,
when she tidies up the
messed-up house of the dwarfs?
Huh?
Fortunately, she got help from
the animals of the forest.
Of the forest.
That's what a cub scout is.
Oh, I see. It's
like a boy scout.
And I have an exam tomorrow.
And I have an English test.
Stop.
We wanted to celebrate
your first months' salary.
All this attention for
earning minimum wages.
I should have started
much earlier.
I prepared a bath for you.
So you can relax.
I had a narrow escape.
Cathy, it's not an additional
course I take for my own sake,
but a stressful, tiring and
annoying full-time job.
I am tired. I'm going
to take a bath.
By the way, Antoine, tomorrow
we could go shopping.
I think I saw a very
beautiful jacket.
"Yeah".
Hop! Go ahead.
Here, knives, forks.
No, leave it there.
But it's not clean.
Look, it's okay.
It hasn't been rinsed.
Cathy called it Snow
White's Desert Storm.
We should open a small
restaurant because...
It's fine.
Hello?
Yes?
No.
Who was it?
- A jerk asking for Kate.
- What?
Hello? Yes, Jean-Phi.
No, it's me, Kate.
Of course, Jean-Phi.
Okay, Jean-Phi.
Bye, Jean-Phi.
Goodbye...
"Kate"?
Um... Jean-Phi?
Yes. He's a great guy.
He has a solid career plan and
he is not afraid of money.
At least I'm not making a
transference from my dad.
Where are the rubber gloves?
- Since when do you paint your nails?
- Since I'm showing them.
- Appearance is essential at work.
- Must have a huge impact over the phone.
I've been attending some A.S.
sessions lately.
A.S.? Abbreviation for
Advertising Spots.
Mr. Lomé says I have great consumer
insight, as a former housekeeper.
Does Mr. Lomé give you more H.C.
for that?
H.C. stands for hard cash.
Don't exaggerate, it's
just once a week.
Something wrong, honey?
Kate is in love.
No, no.
She thinks about the future.
You're jealous because I look
at a man other than you.
The best one yet... I only
want you to be happy, sweetie.
A happiness bound and
subjected to paternal desire.
There, there! You always annoy her...
Cathy!
What did I say?
Son, I know a monastery up
there in the mountains.
We would be so well there.
Is school okay, Antoine?
Are you still first?
Oh, that's good.
What are you reading?
How much do you want?
Well, how much?
100.
What? 100 francs? Out
of the question.
Hey, when you stole that jacket,
you'd be in some deep
shit without me.
- Yes. You did very well that day.
- So?
What is it for?
To buy a gift.
For whom?
For whom is the gift?
- That's disgusting, what you're doing.
- I know. It's an old fantasy.
It's for Jean-Phi.
What? Are you in love?
Antoine, will you lend
me the 100 francs?
What have you got?
I'm thinking about the other.
About the fish he'll
get in the nose.
Snow White or not, without
total commitment,
operation Desert Storm
doesn't last very long .
"This ratio "I" specifies
the amount of goods eaten..."
"I", that must be...
- Yes.
- Yes.
"Necessary for the
production of units 'j'..."
- The production of one unit.
- Yes.
All right, Mom?
Ah, there you are, darling.
Excuse me, I didn't finish...
Simon needed me here.
- You got it?
- Yes, yes.
What's wrong?
If Publivore doesn't find a
slogan, we'll lose the deal.
"We"?
If we lose it, we have to close.
You say "we"...
You're a receptionist there.
Listen, if we close, we close.
What are they selling?
Pompon diapers.
Pompon? Pompon Pompon...
What is it?
Yes, what is it with you?
Oh shit!
Careful, it'll fall.
I disliked Jean-Phi so much that I thought
I was jealous and in love with my sister.
No way!
So you study psychology with Cathy...
Uh, Kate.
God forbid.
You don't manage a business
by understanding people.
I follow a more specialized
university program.
- I'm just back from the States.
- Ah...
Father wants me to go to
Harvard, but I'm not sure.
Even though that school is
the "best of the best".
- Isn't it, Leo?
- Absolutely, Jean-Pierre. Absolutely.
It's "over the top".
Right Maurice?
You're right, Raoul.
It's top class.
I want my Bob to attend
that great institution.
Port? Whiskey? Beer?
No, thanks.
Bitte schön.
Is it a private joke?
So... Thank you. I will return
your daughter safe and sound.
Oh...
"It's a private joke," too.
- Dad, can I go kill a cat?
- Yes, but drink a beer first.
Again...
Will you have a child?
"Babies", small "babies".
Mom... he's French.
Oh yes...
I'd like to know what would
compel you to buy Pompon diapers.
Mom!
I'm not talking about
your children,
but you will have them one day.
Even if it's not together.
- Mom...
- Madam, your question is obsolete.
In our family, the Vigier-Dugourt children
have nurses, so those domestic issues...
Ah... yes I see.
Jean-Philippe doesn't like children
because they're noisy and smelly... Okay?
Shall we go, Jean-Philippe?
Madam.
And my diapers?
My respects. Sir.
Sir.
He's great.
Are you sure it's here?
Yes...
Two weeks later, we
went to a restaurant.
Ah, there is Mom.
Of course, madam.
Thanks.
I lost my job.
There's a lesson in every failure.
1 can always divided by 2.
Uh... Except the bill.
I understand it was
an ordeal for you...
but... we'd better leave.
Let's go.
Comtes de Champagne Rosé.
- Very good. But this is the wrong table.
- No, no. It's for us.
I lost my job to get another.
You see, I was right.
You can always multiply 1 by 2.
I am now a designer.
How about that?
I will create the ads, darling.
Aren't you proud of Mom?
I came up with the new slogan.
It's a bit thanks to Jean-Phi.
Listen: "With Pompon Diapers,
babies won't be gripers".
- It sucks, eh?
- No.
But the client liked it.
Will you make more money?
That's right. How
much will you get?
2 times more.
3 times?
That's great! So
you're going to get...
Ah, that's a lot.
Yes.
To Pompon Diapers.
Dad realized that Mom was going
to earn more money than him.
A lot more.
It was then that the
problems really began.
Without delay, my mother
hired a housekeeper.
Okay, Jacqueline?
Will you be okay?
Yes, madam. The laundry basket, the
staircase, and the lounge chair.
Good, very good.
Okay. I'm late. I'm off, then.
- Good day.
- Thank you, madam.
And good luck.
There.
- Where are my panties?
- Laundry basket.
- And my sneakers?
- Staircase. Cellar.
And my black shoes with laces?
Armchair, lounge.
Oh...
And bam, the milk.
Are you okay?
Yes, I'm fine.
Now they play in the evening
since they all work.
Lucie, too... My mother had her good
friend hired as a receptionist.
Undoubtedly, to annoy Georges,
and it worked very well.
Yes!
And bam.
- Not nice to shoot at point-blank range.
- He asked for it.
He's unhappy. He suffers.
Because his wife works?
That's bullshit.
- Oh...
- Do you suffer?
- You've changed, Véro.
- Me?
Apart from wearing silk blouses now,
I don't see how I have changed.
- Before, you would've felt sorry for him.
- Before what?
- Before.
- Explain yourself.
- Before you made a buck.
- Hey...
Especially, if it is
to talk bullshit.
I like that better.
You know, Rex and Partner,
that big European agency...
Yes.
Well, they offered me a job.
That's good.
Great. I'm thrilled.
12...
13...
Your plastic is annoying.
- I have to lose 3 kg.
- You'd better. Lomé has no fat at all.
- Who?
- Lucie's boss.
If she leaves me, I'll kill them.
I can't live without her.
Aren't you exaggerating a bit?
She just started to work,
and you already see her in bed
with her boss... Give him 2 weeks.
Are you kidding?
Yes, I'm kidding.
But you have nothing to fear...
for now.
You don't know. You're a public servant.
The private sector is a jungle.
Let's swap.
- All women work now.
- And they get divorced.
At 40, it's normal for a woman
to have the desire to blossom.
That's why Véro started.
Mom said she did
it for the money.
So you're okay if she
accepts the Rex job offer.
Oh, totally.
Even if she earns 2 times more?
Ouch...
Pierre, get out of there.
Open up.
- It's nothing, you must be tired.
- It's been a month.
Not so loud. You'll
wake the children.
Let them hear that
their father...
Pierre, you're acting
like a silly macho.
- It happens to others.
- I don't care about the others.
- Cathy?
- Yes?
What's going on downstairs?
Oh, it's nothing. Dad
can't get a hard-on.
A direct result of an inferiority
complex in dominated male mammals.
We fell madly in love with each other.
Well... Especially me.
It was her. She was at my
house, in flesh and blood.
Hello.
Especially in the flesh.
Hi, Sandra.
- This is a "flash" visit.
- A thunderbolt!
Antoine, meet Sandra.
Haven't we met before?
- The books are ready. Will you come?
- Yes.
If I hurry, I can make it.
- I'll take this one. Is it good?
- It's very good.
Okay.
- A cup of tea?
- No, I was just passing through.
- Next time.
- Okay, I'd like to.
Véro, you're just in time.
This is Sandra, one
of my trainees.
Sandra, meet Véro.
- His wife.
- Hello.
I wouldn't like you to
take me for his sister.
- Good. I've got to go, I'm late.
- I'll walk you out.
Bye.
- A real bombshell, huh.
- Very nice.
- Very nice and smart.
- Of course.
- And above all, the big boobs.
- Really?
Gentlemen!
You're regressing
to the oral stage.
If this is the oral
stage, it's wonderful!
Why are you dressed like that?
I'm going to get some bread.
It's nice, huh?
It is a very feminine car.
But a man can get in, too.
- You should try it out.
- Good idea.
- We can let you have it for a weekend.
- Nice.
- You can have me, too.
- What?
To explain how it works.
La Baule is 200 km away. We
can be there in 2 hours.
We can offer you payment terms.
That's interesting.
No. You pay double on credit.
No. I pay cash.
- The controls are ergonomic.
- "Ergo" what?
- Ergonomic. The tips are round.
- Ah.
The wipers are like a caress.
- I see.
- Yes, yes.
Do you like it?
A weekend at La Baule
in the Twingo. Yes?
I'll think about it.
You have a beautiful mom.
- Thank you, sir. Bye.
- Bye.
Summer arrived.
You could tell because Miss
Grange, who visited more often,
wore less and less clothes.
It's logical, but at times
it leads to sudden descents.
The fluctuation of consumption
has already gone slower...
That said, between us,
the first two numbers are zero.
But after that the
others are good.
It's about a US financier
born in the "Middlesex"...
the Middle West,
excuse me, and...
Excuse me.
There.
Thanks, Jacqueline.
You want some orange juice?
Thank you.
A job I would really
like is hairdresser.
A hairstyle can shape faces...
I don't know what
he sees in her.
He sees nothing, Jacqueline.
He seeks in her boobs the recognition
of the mother he takes for his wife.
No, the other way around.
Of the woman he takes
for his mother.
He's regressing to
the oral stage.
Where to?
Hello? Yes, Mom.
It's me.
Yes.
Dad told me.
You come home tomorrow? At
what time is your train?
Yes, I wrote it down.
Okay. Bye, Mom.
Hey!
Don't worry, you're not
the first man I see naked.
No.
Tell Dad I'm going to the movies.
Don't expect me for dinner, OK?
"No problemo."
Bye.
So I'm a man! If Cathy
says so, it must be true,
because she doesn't
always talk bullshit.
Are you all right, big guy?
I have to go out.
Miss Grange has the flu.
What a pit.
So I'll go work at her place.
- She could catch cold coming here.
- She doesn't cover herself much.
Let your sister know.
She's working in her room. I
don't want to disturb her.
- Don't wait for me for dinner.
- "No problemo".
Chocolate cigarettes...
are bad for the liver.
Bye.
Finally alone.
Good morning, Francoise.
Here's your breakfast.
Thanks. Is it for me?
Oh yeah...
Oh yeah...
- Oh yes...
- No...
- Yes...
- No...
Yes... Yes...
No...
Yes, yes, yes...
No...
Yes, yes...
Cathy?
Antoine?
Cathy...
Pierre?
Pierre?
Antoine...
Oh...
Cathy hasn't come home.
Dad either.
You mean you're alone
since yesterday?
Sorry, darling. Sorry, sweetie.
I should've been here.
Why didn't you call
me at the hotel?
- Uh... I didn't think of it.
- Somebody is gonna hear from me!
By the way, where
is your father?
Did he say anything?
He didn't say anything.
Is he at Miss Grange's?
- She caught a cold.
- Oh... Poor thing...
The coffee is ready.
Huh?
Your son spent the night alone.
Not possible. And
where was Cathy?
Does Miss Grange feel better?
No.
No, but we managed to finish
her probation report.
You're a bastard!
Ah, there you are.
Where have you been?
Where?
You can't leave your brother alone
without telling where you are.
He's right about that.
Dad wasn't here either.
Well, well. So you feel guilty... and
you put the blame on your daughter.
Now, you tell me...
that's not very nice.
Don't ask me look to after your
relationship problems... I have my own.
What do you mean?
Last night a great thing
happened. The thing.
Don't tell me that...
Yes, the big leap, and all the rest.
Nirvana, it's done.
I don't know why,
but I'm so thirsty.
Don't worry.
It's normal after what you just went
through... It must be hereditary.
Ah, I forgot to tell you...
I canceled the car.
Ours can still hold
one more year.
Mom was mad at Dad
because of Sandra,
Dad was mad at Mom for
still buying the car,
and Cathy went to visit Freud's house...
It was fun.
The only positive thing: This year
it was us who rented the villa.
Hey, hello.
I'm happy to be here.
Véro, we're gonna have
a wonderful holiday.
Hello.
- Hello.
- Hello. How are you?
- Fine.
- Thanks for this paradise.
- Is it nice?
- Oh yes.
To you too, of course.
Hello?
Yes.
Yes.
Okay, I'll put him on.
Georges?
Telephone.
Expecting a personal call?
Véronique, we have to talk.
About what?
About your bitch that
restored your virility?
I don't care.
- Is it for me?
- Yes.
Hello?
She went backpacking with friends.
That's why she isn't here.
- Where did she go?
- To Vienna, to see Freud's house.
- Perhaps she'll drop by.
- I hope so.
- We didn't see her last year either.
- Yes, too bad.
Don't you think
you've eaten enough?
- It's not good to eat too much at night.
- That's true.
So, dear Lucie, how is Simon?
- He went "rope" climbing.
- "Rock" climbing, darling.
- What did I say?
- "Rope" climbing, darling.
- I heard you're working as well.
- Yes.
You also concoct stupid
commercials to sell movies?
- No, Mom, that's me.
- You should be looking after your family.
You know, Véro... I always
thought you had a lot of talent.
And I'm proud of you.
- So, tell us.
- Well...
As you know, I was hired
as a receptionist.
- I didn't do much, and was happy there.
- And now you smoke at the table.
Grandma... may I be excused?
Of course, darling.
But you don't leave empty-handed.
Every time my mom was
confronted with hers,
she changed completely,
and I didn't like it.
I really didn't.
Especially, since I only
had 3 servings of meat.
That's how your daughter
became an ad designer,
and that's why a larger
agency wants her.
- And are you going to accept this offer?
- Without a doubt.
- Women aren't made to work.
- I strongly agree.
Gender equality...
Don't make me laugh.
Perhaps at work, but at home...
No way!
Not true. Men
participate nowadays.
Well, sometimes.
If women didn't work,
families could not survive.
She's right. Look at
teachers, for example.
But I look at them.
I look at them.
Antoine!
Why is Mom like that
when Grandma is around?
I don't want to talk
like your sister,
but I think your mother didn't
receive much love as a child.
Hardly any.
Now she has a huge need for
recognition... in general.
Keeping to yourselves?
Huh?
It's poetic, as landscape?
Huh?
And then...
It's so restful.
Huh?
No?
Huh?
Your coffee's getting cold.
No, thank you. I pass.
Well, let's clear out.
- Are you coming, Georges?
- No, later.
It's true, you can breathe here.
Yes... I'm coming.
Of course, you invited your
mother to spend your holidays.
- I do not care!
- I know, but don't exaggerate.
Your mother is annoying. When she
opens her mouth I want to kill her.
You could spend your
holidays with Sandra.
About Sandra, if you want to know...
Yes! I enjoyed myself!
- Like an animal!
- She'll get her degree, at least.
- You think you were hired for your talent?
- Of course. What are you insinuating?
Stop being angry all
the time. Enough is enough!
You know, Georges...
I don't know how to tell you.
These holidays can't be
fun for Lucie and you.
What are you afraid of, Pierre?
That we'll stop liking you
after 25 years of friendship?
It's in hard times that you
know who your real friends are.
I was thinking of something...
There's a vacancy for a
director where I work.
You should apply for it.
- Would I have to compete, as you did?
- Yes.
There will be an endurance test,
silly puzzles and stupid
psychological tests, right?
Yes, that's exactly it.
I studied economics, Georges...
I didn't go to circus school.
I wasn't talking about
the circus, Pierre.
I was just talking
about Véro and you.
Dad, you can do it.
You're shipwrecked. You're alone
with a great girl. What do you do?
Flares... signal flares.
- What do you do with the girl?
- Huh?
Um... Yoga, relaxation.
Pierre, a very pretty girl.
I don't know.
You fuck her! You do what's obvious!
You fuck her.
Yes... you fuck her.
Stop the timer.
- The tree test.
- Oh yes?
Good. Analyze the drawing.
What is that?
Baobab seeds in a
garden in France.
A boy watered it every morning,
but it didn't grow because it
wasn't in its natural environment.
If they propose the tree
test, take a wild card.
- Okay?
- Why?
Ecology is in fashion.
You're supposed to be the tree.
I'll take a wild card.
These were the most sportive holidays
ever... Dad's morale was sky high.
You shall succeed...
or I cut off my hand.
Georges didn't cut off
his hand as promised,
but my father's job
competition was a flop.
No, this man wasn't
going out for a walk.
No, he wasn't leaving
for work either.
He was leaving us.
Hello.
Hello, darling.
She was hired at Rex
without an interview,
without endurance or psychological tests...
It wasn't fair.
Hurry up, Antoine.
I have no classes before 9 am.
I know. You have study period.
The principal agrees.
I can't go with you later,
I'm working. You know that.
With Dad, at least...
Okay, but he isn't here... so
don't give me a hard time.
But why did he leave us?
Because he went to see Sandra?
Or because Mom had to find work,
and her career plan
was fail–safe?
If I hadn't stolen that jacket,
she would never have started to work.
Therefore...
Dad left because of me.
But life without Dad is...
How to explain it?
It's as if the whole
world were empty.
Cathy!
Cathy, you must help me.
With what?
Mom and Dad.
- Yes. What?
- We must do something.
- It's all my fault.
- No, Antoine... 20 years is already great.
Love is neither certain nor tragic.
Okay?
Oh, hi, Antoine.
How long have you been together?
Uh... 11 minutes.
Since this summer.
Well... What do we do?
- Nothing. It's their problem.
- Listen, they are adults.
You have to give
them some slack.
I had to talk to them.
My God!
- Mom!
- Just a sec, honey, I'm with Lucie.
- Are you sure?
- I surprised them in Simon's room.
But don't worry,
they didn't see me.
I can't believe it.
That they didn't seen me?
No. Cathy and Simon together.
Imagine if they got married,
we would be one family.
- I feel like crying. Here.
- No, thanks. Calm down.
They won't make commitments,
especially Cathy.
They have no experience,
they're so young.
We got married at their
age, and knew a lot less.
Look how we ended up.
Speak for yourself.
Oh, Véro, sorry.
Any news?
Mom.
No. And I don't want any.
Nonsense!
Mom.
He left... It's up
to him to come back.
If he doesn't?
Mom.
"Mom." Can't you
call me "mommy"?
Am I half a mother?
Come on, it's time
to go home now.
If he doesn't come back?
I didn't throw him out, did I?
Dad.
Cathy...
- Cathy with Simon?
- Yes.
She made her paternal
transference.
Her what?
Dad.
Forget it.
Uh...
You've got a pretty
nice setup here.
I mean, it's not...
Yes, you can stop your bullshit.
It's not my fault
you left your wife.
Dad.
One second.
No, it's not your fault.
Why don't you go back? Don't
you think it's ridiculous?
Dad.
Do you see me arriving there?
"Excuse me, dear, I'm coming home."
I have a bit more
dignity than that.
- If she wants me back...
- She has to come and get you?
You wanted to tell me
something, big boy?
Do you like your new bike?
Happy holidays, everybody.
Antoine?
What's the matter, lad?
Your results have plummeted.
Do you want to talk about it?
I don't give a damn
about your bullshit.
What I want... is that
you get back together.
Okay, it's my fault, but I
don't give a damn about jackets,
or about who earns more
or who earns less.
You say that we are childish.
I think you are!
No one listens to
me, no one sees me.
I'm fed up.
That's good, Antoine,
you're very brave.
I've never seen a boy in
your condition smiling.
You bet. I have a good
reason to be happy.
My eye and arm won't
be sacrificed in vain.
- Shall I wash you a fruit?
- He just had one.
Don't you have a meeting
with your staff?
- I'd like to see the doctor.
- He won't come for another half an hour.
- Are you doing it on purpose?
- What?
You seem pleased that
I can't wait for him.
What an idea, to buy him a bike!
- Yes, it's my fault. Blame me!
- I'm not blaming you!
Oh, Lord, I thought
we would never land.
And the traffic jams
at Biard-Poitiers...
It's a miracle that I'm here.
How are you, darling?
Nobody cares... even if I died.
Nobody cares.
Of course not.
You're parents are busy now.
Stop whining. You remind
me of your father.
- I know what you're thinking.
- So?
- And I agree.
- With what?
With everything. Your
parents, the divorce...
I wasn't born yesterday.
But I would've done something,
instead of whining.
I did all I could.
Oh...
Maybe if I die, my parents
will reconcile on my deathbed.
Don't talk nonsense.
Granny... I thought you
couldn't stand my father?
But I can't stand him. I can't.
But my daughter loves
him, you love him.
Everybody loves that guy.
So...
Maybe I'm wrong.
I'm not going home.
Me neither.
What...
Did you talk to me, madam?
Did you talk to me?
You're wasting your time.
She is totally senile.
- My name is Sophie. And you?
- It's you?
No need to talk. I'm stone deaf.
Holy shit.
Watch your mouth, nonetheless.
How do you do that?
- What?
- To talk in my head.
And you? How do you do it?
I don't know.
Well, me neither.
My name is Antoine.
Shall we go for a walk, Antoine?
So what's wrong?
My parents are splitting
up because I... Well...
I stole a jacket.
- Are you sure it's because of that?
- Well, yes.
- They are not truly in love.
- Of course they are.
- Then you have to do something.
- Easy to say.
When adults are stuck in a
loop, you can do nothing.
Hardships bring some
people together,
but it's not our case.
I don't know what to do.
You know, you should
always come full circle.
Huh?
- Aren't you ashamed of bugging old ladies?
- Sorry, Antoine. I must go.
- I wasn't bugging her, we were talking.
- Very funny.
- Shall we go wash up?
- Bye, Antoine.
Goodbye, Sophie.
"Come full circle."
Hey, but that's not senile at all.
- Granny?
- Oh... Yes?
- I think I have the idea of the century.
- Oh yes? What?
- But...
- What?
You must help me.
Look, Gisou, who's coming for a visit.
But it's the laddie.
Look how big he's grown.
- Your father?
- No, I fell off my bike.
Oh!
He loves his dad, nonetheless.
- Huh?
- Can I look around?
Of course, sweetie.
Whatever you want.
Come on.
I'm going.
Excuse me, dear, but I have
to do Christmas inventory.
- Come by whenever you want.
- Till soon, laddie.
But, madam...
Madam!
This little rascal just stole a jacket.
- What's it to you?
- Well...
What do you care?
Obviously, she's
never known misery.
- What are you talking about?
- This child is unhappy.
Because his parents
mistreat him?
- Absolutely.
- Absolutely.
His mother earns 35000 F per month,
and gets paid 14 months per year.
His father is a teacher.
I would call the police.
I know from experience...
there are things a
child cannot make up.
You're cuckoo! Why are you here?
I don't like your kind.
- Are you buying a leather mini skirt?
- Why not?
Come, sweetie. Go home.
If you touch single button,
I call the police.
Don't think twice, Antoine.
Don't think twice.
Think of your parents.
We've come full circle.
Do you always do
bullshit at Christmas?
Try a different store next year.
I didn't understand this story...
of alcoholic parents, unemployed,
who beat their children...
I've heard that you
are separated.
That must make you happy!
I don't rejoice at other
people's misfortunes.
What misfortunes? We're
happy to be normal.
Pierre.
What, "Pierre"?
Tell him how thrilled we are...
to be normal.
We have a new problem on our hands.
I'd like to resolve it quickly.
Unless what our son did is normal.
If so, why are we here?
Yes, his attitude is
completely normal.
It's normal that he has re-offended,
and that you are separated.
It's normal that you're here.
But it's not normal that he suffers with
your separation, hence he re-offended.
In short...
Last year, you said that he stole
because we were a happy couple.
Now you say that he re-offends because
he suffers with our separation.
Exactly.
This child is in need.
In need of what?
- Well, he's in need.
- Well, it's not my fault.
"It's not my fault" It's not you
who failed the fucking exam.
It's not you who screwed
Sandra, and left the house.
You're a Super Woman... a Turbo Woman...
and I'm a jerk!
Antoine?
Antoine?
Antoine?
Antoine?
- Stop, stop... It's my fault.
- No, it's mine.
No, it's mine. True,
you've changed a little.
You were perfect. I behaved like an ass...
like an abandoned boy.
And I, like a monster.
Maybe we should consult Cathy.
Do you still love me a little?
Have I changed so much that
you can no longer tell?
If you looked well, you'd see
that I can't take it anymore.
I like my job, I won't quit,
but I can't live without you.
Can't you see that anymore?
Yes... maybe... I don't know.
We'll see.
You can be so annoying!
And you? What do you see?
I definitely love to
see my parents kiss.
Oh no... no, no, no!
That's so ridiculous.
In the middle of the street,
Pierre, that's so vulgar.
Thank you, darling.
The turkey will get cold...
It's dry already.
Come.
Come.
Subtitles by Subransu
Editing by Tintin
Calm down.
Above all, whatever
happens, don't call Mom.
Are you all right, darling?
Are you all right?
Yes.
Fine.
You're not afraid?
No.
Of what?
I see that all is well.
I'm going to bed.
Don't be afraid, mom.
It's only a storm.
If you say so.
It's just an atmospheric
disturbance,
characterized by
electrical phenomena...
that flame up the clouds,
causing the rain. Nothing else.
Ah?
It's Dad.
Oh...
WHY IS MOM IN MY BED?
Why is mom in my bed? Why?
Actually, if Mom is in my bed,
it's because Dad is
no longer in his. Yes.
So why is Dad no longer in his?
Because he left.
It's been 3 weeks,
2 days, 16 hours and...
32 minutes.
It started less than a year
ago, on Christmas Eve.
- Let go of me. Stop.
- Move on.
- You're cute.
- Come on, Gilbert, in the cell.
Parents' name and address.
- Hey?
- Yes?
Well done.
Will you talk? Or I throw
you in the cell...
with Bonehead Toto...
and Crazy Nini.
For the 2,182nd time I ask you...
Come here!
Parents' name and address.
Parents' name and address!
In May 1968, my dad was kept
in custody for 76 hours...
without saying a word, so...
An orphan, perhaps?
Hey, are you sleeping?
An orphan?
Oh no...
My poor, poor little darling.
Orphan, jacket thief,
vagabond and mute.
A really bad start in life, kid.
But I have ways
to make you talk.
Adolphe!
Adolphe?
Is it ready?
I want to go home.
He's talking... Adolphe, come.
He's talking.
To go where? You don't
have an address.
Good. It's us now.
Come on, sit there.
My bag was stolen.
Is that what you wanted?
Hey, I'm talking to you!
You don't like it?
My name is Antoine Cuzin.
I live at 4 allée des Tilleuls.
Pierre?
Quick, the Christmas
cake is coming.
- Oh, look...
- Oh...
Bravo, bravo.
What a cacophony, oh...
If we could hear their souls, which
must already be quite black.
Mom's parents, from Nice for Christmas Eve.
"No comment."
You always exaggerate.
They are just kids.
I heard them in concert.
They were beautiful, dressed in white,
so pure. They have no evil thoughts.
Lucie: Mom's best friend,
and her neighbor. Nice.
It's the the devil's beauty.
We have to be wary.
Yes, clothes don't make the man.
Nor the jacket, the rocker.
Georges: Lucie's husband.
Dad's high school buddy.
Don't exaggerate. He
pinched one jacket...
not a stock.
Lucie and Georges's son.
First a jacket, and due to
parents' laxness, off to jail.
- Especially when you get caught.
- But mind you,
I didn't say he
won't be punished.
Yes, of course, but
it's Christmas, right?
Let's eat the Christmas cake later.
It's presents time!
Presents make you feel good.
I like to give presents.
- It makes me tingle all over.
- Typical.
Cathy, my sweet sister,
1st year psychology.
When she thinks hard, she perspires.
She was up to something.
Yes. It's linked to the pleasure
you felt on the potty.
Silly mothers tell their
child on the potty:
- "Show me the pretty gift you made."
- Is that why I tingle?
Antoine stole that jacket because
you couldn't buy him one.
And that is because Dad
doesn't earn enough.
So, to resolve this situation,
Dad has to earn more,
but that is impossible.
He's not responsible.
He's doomed to failure
with no potential to win.
Something's fishy
with those diplomas.
- Admit it. You despise money.
- No, I don't.
It's not totally false.
That's enough from you.
Okay, Miss Know-it-all. Why
am I an economics teacher?
To prove that
capitalism is rotten.
But it is rotten, Cathy.
That's Christian morality.
- Oh no, Karl Marx was an atheist.
- He was broke.
- That morality comes from your parents.
- But God, no.
- Grandpa...
- Charles.
Yes, that's it. Thankfully
I was watchful.
Therefore, a child
in need of money
steals, plunders, and sinks
into despicable crime.
He ends up in jail when
he becomes of age.
She'll go far, that girl.
She takes after me.
- It's monstrous.
- Thank you.
What is it?
Shall we open the presents?
Other than that, all was fine. The
tree sparkled, the crib glittered,
and my dad was freaking out.
You are the queen of bitches.
Your father is a great guy.
Pierre, is this for me?
- Yes.
- They are wonderful.
Thank you, darling.
I love to see my parents kiss.
- What?
- What's that?
- Another guest?
- No.
Disgraceful!
Honey, look.
Look at the nice present
Georges gave to Lucie.
I knew your father was
corny, but not that much.
Shall we take a look?
How nice.
Dad, Mom never got her
driver's license.
Precisely, we must be positive.
I love being positive.
- Pure leather.
- Oh, honey...
Can I sit down? Yes?
He's right.
Besides, you know what? No.
They probably exchanged
us in the maternity.
- Look at that, it's funny.
- Yes.
You know what he also gave me?
Dad bought Mom earrings that
match last year's necklace.
Really?
I bet they are very expensive.
You're right. It's the thought
that counts, not the price.
Pierre! Where's the champagne?
It's Christmas. Damn it!
We're coming, sweetheart.
Where did he go? He
needs to see it.
No, no, no.
I know it's your car, but
I'll drive it for now.
No, no.
Nothing was damaged?
- It won't last long.
- I know.
Resign yourself.
Maybe it's for the best.
It has suffered so much.
Yes.
We'll still buy used car, and will
still play catch-up with Georges
as we drive to a holiday
villa rented by him.
Have you taken seriously
what your daughter said?
Me? No, I have a
teacher's salary.
Come on, they're waiting for us.
- You don't love me only for my money.
- I love you for your brains.
- And because I'm the best-looking guy.
- Especially naked.
Ten days later, we were back
from Christmas holidays.
5,
4,
3,
2,
1,
go!
Mom, I don't have any panties.
In the laundry basket, sweetheart.
Mom? And my sneakers?
Under the stairs to the cellar.
Véro, my love, where
are my shoes?
Where you left them last
night: Under the chair.
Good. Everyone is here.
Because I made a big decision.
I know that it will
be hard for you,
but I weighed the pros and cons.
Especially the cons.
Pierre, you won't agree, but
I understand your reasons.
Good.
You love to find me home in the evening.
You are like that.
Don't add more butter.
And you still need your mother.
- Dad, the jam please?
- Yes.
Even if Freud may
have all the answers.
You drank all the milk!
Pisses me off!
My dear, I'm thinking
especially of you.
I'm not abandoning you.
Dad, she pinched the butter.
Come on!
I'm asking for 5 minutes of
attention. It's not that hard.
I have something
important to tell you.
I'm going to find a job.
It's the only solution to
improve our standard of living.
We'll talk later.
I'm terribly late.
Goodbye, darling. Good luck.
Bye, Mom.
Do you know what you wanna do?
Well, no, but... no.
Antoine, hurry up.
Coming.
Okay. Bye, Mom.
Hello.
- Hello, madam.
- Hello.
Hello. Will you follow me?
Over here.
Antoine, can you
wait here, please?
See you later.
Thank you for coming.
I'll ask some routine
questions, if you don't mind.
You are a teacher, right?
- And you, housewife.
- Absolutely.
My children never had a nanny, eat
only fresh, never canned food.
- I buy groceries every other day. Even...
- Yes, I see.
How long have you been married?
- 20 years.
- 20 years?
- That's amazing.
- Yes.
And regarding...
- Are you doing alright?
- Regarding what?
Yes, well... In the
evenings after TV?
What about it?
Regarding sex. She wants
to know how it goes.
Is there a connection
to the theft?
I try to understand
what drove your son...
Very well. Sexually,
it's going very well.
What about yourself?
That's not the issue.
Ah well, we agree.
Good. Let's continue.
You live in a suburban
neighborhood.
- We have a very big house.
- With a teacher's salary?
It's a gift from my parents.
- Oh, I see.
- You see what?
- We all need a little help.
- Hey!
No, really. It's
a family heirloom.
Good. I see.
- And you never thought of a divorce?
- No.
- Not even once? For a second?
- No.
- No quarreling?
- That's insane! What's this crap?
Calm down, dear, there's
no reason to get upset.
Miss, my husband, my children
and I are a family,
with its problems, but
also joy and love.
It's not sappy happiness...
but we are happy.
Well, look no further, huh.
Your son is completely
marginalized.
Excuse me, but I don't
quite understand.
If I understand
what she's saying,
since we have no problems
and we love our children,
our son feels marginalized.
Right?
Not only does he feel
marginalized... but he is!
So he steals... to
be like his mates.
Today... the norm is the fringe.
And the fringe... is the norm.
My parents concluded
that I had to apologize...
to the shop owner,
so she would drop the charges.
Madam, I apologize...
and I beg you to excuse me.
Madam, I apologize...
and I beg you to excuse me.
Yes?
Yes.
Yes, yes.
Yes.
But... I'll call you back.
It's our little thief.
My God, the poor laddie.
Rule number 1: Dickens heroes.
Madam, I apologize...
and I beg you to excuse me.
Why should I?
It's my parents' fault because
they love each other.
So?
I couldn't care less!
I'm waiting.
It's a mistake of youth. I'll
work hard to pay you back.
I swear on my sick mother.
I've better things to do.
Why should I excuse you?
I don't know.
Are you about to give in?
I can't hold it all day.
Come on, Ms. Lucette, the
laddie returned the jacket.
Of course, Gisou, of course.
"Yeah!"
- Children are so beautiful when they cry.
- That is true.
Sadist.
You got scolded by
your parents, right?
Did they beat you?
Hard?
Poor laddie.
Your father beats you often?
When he is unemployed.
And your mom, honey?
She...
She... She... I...
- She drinks.
- Yes, she drinks, that's it.
- I was sure.
- Laddie...
- But she takes good care of us.
- Us?
Me and my sister.
I'm the eldest, and
she just turned 2.
She spends her days with the
"free-nanny"... whom we never pay.
- I have to go, otherwise...
- I know.
I went through the
same, you know.
But you can overcome it.
It takes a lot of will.
But if you want, you can.
Look.
And the charges... madam?
Forget it, sweetie.
I had a difficult
childhood, too.
Don't you have it in size 38?
Or 40.
Yes, I'm coming.
He's showing his disagreement
with a society alien to him.
I thought it was his father not
earning enough... Make up your mind.
He just wanted a
jacket like his friends.
- Anyway, it's not very serious.
- Oh no, of course.
My son steals, and says I am an alcoholic,
my daughter crucifies her father...
and a crazy cop says we marginalize our
children because we love each other.
A teacher's salary is not enough
for a family with 2 teenagers.
Actually, it was just a dare.
Happiness can be
disgusting sometimes.
In no time, Mom got an interview with
Goody-Goody, a trendy decorator.
Well, I'm 40 years old...
barely.
Well, almost.
I have an English diploma and
a Masters in art history.
I decorated my whole house.
I have a strong taste for dreamy,
playful effects... fairy-tale-like.
I decorated my children's room inspired
by "Alice in Wonderland", with...
a door between two rooms.
- A door? Very original, Ms. Cuzin.
- You can only go through on all four.
My children had a lot of fun.
Mom, who cares. You have an interview with
the trendiest decorator of Poitiers.
Above all, you need a makeover.
You have to live with the times.
With whom?
She was scared so we
all gave her advice.
The result: My mother
was unrecognizable.
I have an appointment with Mr.
Lespion.
- The door at the end.
- Over there?
Thank you.
No...
Comparing the schedules of
a schoolboy and an adult,
I'd rather be working,
so I can have some fun.
I don't know why,
but when they complain, I
think they exaggerate.
- Decorators work in a weird circle.
- I'll search in human relations.
Antoine, will you
collect the balls?
Human relations is a
weird circle, too.
- Yes, it's true.
- Well, yes, it's true.
If I were you, I'd try to
keep my wife at home.
What?
The kids are grown, so she feels a bit
useless. She needs to assert herself.
- If I had the means, I'd stay at home.
- I'm sure you'll have lots of fun.
- Work is rewarding.
- It's the money that is rewarding.
Shit.
Thanks.
You're sweet. Thanks.
Professional male-female
relationships are based on sex.
Where did you get that?
To convince an employer just slide
your nylons. That drives them crazy.
I serve.
- What do you know? You've never worked.
- True, but on the other hand, I have...
You have what?
Stop worrying about me.
I'm worried about me.
- Is he better?
- I put a cutlet on his eye.
Amazing how he got distracted.
- Have you noticed, Véro?
- What?
Lucie does everything you do.
It's true.
When you met Pierre,
Lucie fell in love
with me because...
I was his best friend.
You started Tupperware meetings...
Lucie did, too.
- You got a child, she too.
- A girl and then a second one, you didn't.
Not for lack of trying.
I assure you.
What are you trying to tell me?
Are you afraid that Lucie
will start looking for work,
and that she'll give in
to sexual harassment?
Is that it?
I'm sorry, but I need a job.
So?
- How goes the hopeless search?
- Morale is good.
You want to tell me something.
Let's suppose I give you money.
Discreetly of course.
Would you agree?
- Why would I agree?
- Stop playing dumb, will you?
If I understand correctly,
you want to give me money so
Véro doesn't find work...
and your wife stays at home.
- Conditionally, of course.
- Of course.
If we can imagine that,
would you agree?
It depends on how
much we imagine.
Well... 2000 francs each month.
- You ought to have more imagination!
- Let's imagine 3000.
Unimaginable to see Dad
negotiating over Mom.
- 5000.
- You're hallucinating.
I imagine no more than 4000.
It's 5000 or nothing.
Okay. Let's imagine 5000.
At this point, I imagine that you're
a dumb-ass that takes me for a pimp.
You're right. I didn't
think about that.
- Good thing we were just imagining.
- Good thing we were just imagining.
Yes, that's why. There's Antoine.
Your snack is in the kitchen.
A week later, to
Georges's dismay,
Mom found work.
He has been briefed
by the "big boss".
In fact he was reprimanded!
She was a receptionist
at an ad agency.
Pierre, why can't I talk about
something else? It's not normal.
And what about you, my love?
Ah, you won't come
home for dinner?
Yes, I...
Yes.
I thought it wasn't normal
to always speak about work?
Till tonight, my love. Yes.
Mom, is a receptionist
important or not?
Sure, very important.
Imagine, it's the first contact.
If someone wants to entrust an ad
to Mr. Lomé... Mr. Lomé is my boss.
If I don't answer correctly, nicely,
he'll hang up angry and will
contact another agency.
- So without you, there won't be business.
- In a way, yes.
- You're not the one creating the ads?
- Ah well, no. Sorry.
Now we're alone, we'll have
a romantic evening, okay?
Cathy and father are gone,
we'll have a TV dinner at will.
- Dinner or TV?
- Both.
Before, she'd never
have proposed that.
One thing was certain...
and only I had noticed...
My mother was no longer herself.
Something shows
up in all copies,
despite the different
names you give it:
"To earn fat stacks, dead presidents,
greenbacks, big bucks, dough."
A job is not just to make money.
Money is an end, not a means.
Antoine understood his mother's
new profession very well,
and gave specific examples.
- His mom is... - Receptionist.
- Not at all. Designer.
Fuck! A French
assignment is secret.
She invented commercials
for Coca-Cola,
The Laughing Cow...
All commercials.
Well, he perfectly understood
the creative side of the job.
He didn't talk about money.
Be wary.
Money is a drug.
An addiction.
Look at Antoine, for example.
Oh no...
He's the only one without
a leather jacket.
Is he any less happy?
Yes.
Of course not.
I was the only one without
divorced parents.
That's why I didn't
have a leather jacket.
According to Cathy, a divorced father buys
you a jacket out of feelings of guilt.
Remarkable!
Antoine? Are you dreaming?
No, sir.
Repeat what I said.
You asked me if I was dreaming.
Quiet.
That's right. You were dreaming.
I said that money
doesn't buy happiness.
Poverty either.
Quiet.
What a mess here.
What is it, my Antoine?
I didn't get my snack.
Listen, you're old enough to...
Come here.
Super Mom was back. She had
resumed her primary job,
and in less that an hour, the
house was spic and span.
Hi.
Oh, I had an awesome
class today.
It was on obsess...
obsessional neurosis.
I should tell you about it.
Mom wanted to shut up my sister.
- Hi everyone.
- Hello.
Everything okay, darling?
You know what my boss said? That I
am an exceptional receptionist.
Everything I do, I do well.
Isn't it, darling?
There are children here.
Even without her Walkman,
your daughter hears nothing.
You only think about that.
- Yes.
- Yes.
- My tailor is not rich.
- I'll be in the study.
My tailor is rich.
How to know? Is he rich or not?
He's Robin Hood.
- Mom, can you help me?
- Ask your father. I'm busy.
Dad?
- Yes?
- Can you help me?
I have 80 papers to grade, plus
preparations for my trainees.
What are we eating tonight?
I don't know. Shall we
go to the restaurant?
You are supposed to make
us spareribs tonight.
You were supposed to tidy up
the living room this morning.
Mom... when I took an additional
course in philosophy,
I didn't stop my
psychology courses,
and I didn't ask anybody
to go in my place.
It was rather then that Mom
wanted to shut up Cathy.
- Mom, I have no more panties.
- And my sneakers?
Véro, my love, where
are my shoes?
Mom?
- Mom.
- Honey.
PUSH
Dear Cathy, your panties
are in the laundry basket.
Sweetie, your sneakers
are under the stairs.
My love, your shoes
are under the chair,
where you left them last night.
Just heat the milk.
Your father ought to manage.
He was a cub scout in his youth.
Wait, I haven't finished.
Remember to clear the
table and do the dishes.
Cathy, please tidy
up the living room.
Pierre, don't
forget the garbage,
Antoine, lock the
door when you leave.
I love you.
It's 7:25. You're
10 minutes late.
- What?
- Shit.
That night was a great night
even if you couldn't see it yet.
The three of us had
decided to surprise her.
She'll be here soon,
but no panic.
Fortunately, you
were a cub scout.
What's a cub scout?
You remember Snow White,
when she tidies up the
messed-up house of the dwarfs?
Huh?
Fortunately, she got help from
the animals of the forest.
Of the forest.
That's what a cub scout is.
Oh, I see. It's
like a boy scout.
And I have an exam tomorrow.
And I have an English test.
Stop.
We wanted to celebrate
your first months' salary.
All this attention for
earning minimum wages.
I should have started
much earlier.
I prepared a bath for you.
So you can relax.
I had a narrow escape.
Cathy, it's not an additional
course I take for my own sake,
but a stressful, tiring and
annoying full-time job.
I am tired. I'm going
to take a bath.
By the way, Antoine, tomorrow
we could go shopping.
I think I saw a very
beautiful jacket.
"Yeah".
Hop! Go ahead.
Here, knives, forks.
No, leave it there.
But it's not clean.
Look, it's okay.
It hasn't been rinsed.
Cathy called it Snow
White's Desert Storm.
We should open a small
restaurant because...
It's fine.
Hello?
Yes?
No.
Who was it?
- A jerk asking for Kate.
- What?
Hello? Yes, Jean-Phi.
No, it's me, Kate.
Of course, Jean-Phi.
Okay, Jean-Phi.
Bye, Jean-Phi.
Goodbye...
"Kate"?
Um... Jean-Phi?
Yes. He's a great guy.
He has a solid career plan and
he is not afraid of money.
At least I'm not making a
transference from my dad.
Where are the rubber gloves?
- Since when do you paint your nails?
- Since I'm showing them.
- Appearance is essential at work.
- Must have a huge impact over the phone.
I've been attending some A.S.
sessions lately.
A.S.? Abbreviation for
Advertising Spots.
Mr. Lomé says I have great consumer
insight, as a former housekeeper.
Does Mr. Lomé give you more H.C.
for that?
H.C. stands for hard cash.
Don't exaggerate, it's
just once a week.
Something wrong, honey?
Kate is in love.
No, no.
She thinks about the future.
You're jealous because I look
at a man other than you.
The best one yet... I only
want you to be happy, sweetie.
A happiness bound and
subjected to paternal desire.
There, there! You always annoy her...
Cathy!
What did I say?
Son, I know a monastery up
there in the mountains.
We would be so well there.
Is school okay, Antoine?
Are you still first?
Oh, that's good.
What are you reading?
How much do you want?
Well, how much?
100.
What? 100 francs? Out
of the question.
Hey, when you stole that jacket,
you'd be in some deep
shit without me.
- Yes. You did very well that day.
- So?
What is it for?
To buy a gift.
For whom?
For whom is the gift?
- That's disgusting, what you're doing.
- I know. It's an old fantasy.
It's for Jean-Phi.
What? Are you in love?
Antoine, will you lend
me the 100 francs?
What have you got?
I'm thinking about the other.
About the fish he'll
get in the nose.
Snow White or not, without
total commitment,
operation Desert Storm
doesn't last very long .
"This ratio "I" specifies
the amount of goods eaten..."
"I", that must be...
- Yes.
- Yes.
"Necessary for the
production of units 'j'..."
- The production of one unit.
- Yes.
All right, Mom?
Ah, there you are, darling.
Excuse me, I didn't finish...
Simon needed me here.
- You got it?
- Yes, yes.
What's wrong?
If Publivore doesn't find a
slogan, we'll lose the deal.
"We"?
If we lose it, we have to close.
You say "we"...
You're a receptionist there.
Listen, if we close, we close.
What are they selling?
Pompon diapers.
Pompon? Pompon Pompon...
What is it?
Yes, what is it with you?
Oh shit!
Careful, it'll fall.
I disliked Jean-Phi so much that I thought
I was jealous and in love with my sister.
No way!
So you study psychology with Cathy...
Uh, Kate.
God forbid.
You don't manage a business
by understanding people.
I follow a more specialized
university program.
- I'm just back from the States.
- Ah...
Father wants me to go to
Harvard, but I'm not sure.
Even though that school is
the "best of the best".
- Isn't it, Leo?
- Absolutely, Jean-Pierre. Absolutely.
It's "over the top".
Right Maurice?
You're right, Raoul.
It's top class.
I want my Bob to attend
that great institution.
Port? Whiskey? Beer?
No, thanks.
Bitte schön.
Is it a private joke?
So... Thank you. I will return
your daughter safe and sound.
Oh...
"It's a private joke," too.
- Dad, can I go kill a cat?
- Yes, but drink a beer first.
Again...
Will you have a child?
"Babies", small "babies".
Mom... he's French.
Oh yes...
I'd like to know what would
compel you to buy Pompon diapers.
Mom!
I'm not talking about
your children,
but you will have them one day.
Even if it's not together.
- Mom...
- Madam, your question is obsolete.
In our family, the Vigier-Dugourt children
have nurses, so those domestic issues...
Ah... yes I see.
Jean-Philippe doesn't like children
because they're noisy and smelly... Okay?
Shall we go, Jean-Philippe?
Madam.
And my diapers?
My respects. Sir.
Sir.
He's great.
Are you sure it's here?
Yes...
Two weeks later, we
went to a restaurant.
Ah, there is Mom.
Of course, madam.
Thanks.
I lost my job.
There's a lesson in every failure.
1 can always divided by 2.
Uh... Except the bill.
I understand it was
an ordeal for you...
but... we'd better leave.
Let's go.
Comtes de Champagne Rosé.
- Very good. But this is the wrong table.
- No, no. It's for us.
I lost my job to get another.
You see, I was right.
You can always multiply 1 by 2.
I am now a designer.
How about that?
I will create the ads, darling.
Aren't you proud of Mom?
I came up with the new slogan.
It's a bit thanks to Jean-Phi.
Listen: "With Pompon Diapers,
babies won't be gripers".
- It sucks, eh?
- No.
But the client liked it.
Will you make more money?
That's right. How
much will you get?
2 times more.
3 times?
That's great! So
you're going to get...
Ah, that's a lot.
Yes.
To Pompon Diapers.
Dad realized that Mom was going
to earn more money than him.
A lot more.
It was then that the
problems really began.
Without delay, my mother
hired a housekeeper.
Okay, Jacqueline?
Will you be okay?
Yes, madam. The laundry basket, the
staircase, and the lounge chair.
Good, very good.
Okay. I'm late. I'm off, then.
- Good day.
- Thank you, madam.
And good luck.
There.
- Where are my panties?
- Laundry basket.
- And my sneakers?
- Staircase. Cellar.
And my black shoes with laces?
Armchair, lounge.
Oh...
And bam, the milk.
Are you okay?
Yes, I'm fine.
Now they play in the evening
since they all work.
Lucie, too... My mother had her good
friend hired as a receptionist.
Undoubtedly, to annoy Georges,
and it worked very well.
Yes!
And bam.
- Not nice to shoot at point-blank range.
- He asked for it.
He's unhappy. He suffers.
Because his wife works?
That's bullshit.
- Oh...
- Do you suffer?
- You've changed, Véro.
- Me?
Apart from wearing silk blouses now,
I don't see how I have changed.
- Before, you would've felt sorry for him.
- Before what?
- Before.
- Explain yourself.
- Before you made a buck.
- Hey...
Especially, if it is
to talk bullshit.
I like that better.
You know, Rex and Partner,
that big European agency...
Yes.
Well, they offered me a job.
That's good.
Great. I'm thrilled.
12...
13...
Your plastic is annoying.
- I have to lose 3 kg.
- You'd better. Lomé has no fat at all.
- Who?
- Lucie's boss.
If she leaves me, I'll kill them.
I can't live without her.
Aren't you exaggerating a bit?
She just started to work,
and you already see her in bed
with her boss... Give him 2 weeks.
Are you kidding?
Yes, I'm kidding.
But you have nothing to fear...
for now.
You don't know. You're a public servant.
The private sector is a jungle.
Let's swap.
- All women work now.
- And they get divorced.
At 40, it's normal for a woman
to have the desire to blossom.
That's why Véro started.
Mom said she did
it for the money.
So you're okay if she
accepts the Rex job offer.
Oh, totally.
Even if she earns 2 times more?
Ouch...
Pierre, get out of there.
Open up.
- It's nothing, you must be tired.
- It's been a month.
Not so loud. You'll
wake the children.
Let them hear that
their father...
Pierre, you're acting
like a silly macho.
- It happens to others.
- I don't care about the others.
- Cathy?
- Yes?
What's going on downstairs?
Oh, it's nothing. Dad
can't get a hard-on.
A direct result of an inferiority
complex in dominated male mammals.
We fell madly in love with each other.
Well... Especially me.
It was her. She was at my
house, in flesh and blood.
Hello.
Especially in the flesh.
Hi, Sandra.
- This is a "flash" visit.
- A thunderbolt!
Antoine, meet Sandra.
Haven't we met before?
- The books are ready. Will you come?
- Yes.
If I hurry, I can make it.
- I'll take this one. Is it good?
- It's very good.
Okay.
- A cup of tea?
- No, I was just passing through.
- Next time.
- Okay, I'd like to.
Véro, you're just in time.
This is Sandra, one
of my trainees.
Sandra, meet Véro.
- His wife.
- Hello.
I wouldn't like you to
take me for his sister.
- Good. I've got to go, I'm late.
- I'll walk you out.
Bye.
- A real bombshell, huh.
- Very nice.
- Very nice and smart.
- Of course.
- And above all, the big boobs.
- Really?
Gentlemen!
You're regressing
to the oral stage.
If this is the oral
stage, it's wonderful!
Why are you dressed like that?
I'm going to get some bread.
It's nice, huh?
It is a very feminine car.
But a man can get in, too.
- You should try it out.
- Good idea.
- We can let you have it for a weekend.
- Nice.
- You can have me, too.
- What?
To explain how it works.
La Baule is 200 km away. We
can be there in 2 hours.
We can offer you payment terms.
That's interesting.
No. You pay double on credit.
No. I pay cash.
- The controls are ergonomic.
- "Ergo" what?
- Ergonomic. The tips are round.
- Ah.
The wipers are like a caress.
- I see.
- Yes, yes.
Do you like it?
A weekend at La Baule
in the Twingo. Yes?
I'll think about it.
You have a beautiful mom.
- Thank you, sir. Bye.
- Bye.
Summer arrived.
You could tell because Miss
Grange, who visited more often,
wore less and less clothes.
It's logical, but at times
it leads to sudden descents.
The fluctuation of consumption
has already gone slower...
That said, between us,
the first two numbers are zero.
But after that the
others are good.
It's about a US financier
born in the "Middlesex"...
the Middle West,
excuse me, and...
Excuse me.
There.
Thanks, Jacqueline.
You want some orange juice?
Thank you.
A job I would really
like is hairdresser.
A hairstyle can shape faces...
I don't know what
he sees in her.
He sees nothing, Jacqueline.
He seeks in her boobs the recognition
of the mother he takes for his wife.
No, the other way around.
Of the woman he takes
for his mother.
He's regressing to
the oral stage.
Where to?
Hello? Yes, Mom.
It's me.
Yes.
Dad told me.
You come home tomorrow? At
what time is your train?
Yes, I wrote it down.
Okay. Bye, Mom.
Hey!
Don't worry, you're not
the first man I see naked.
No.
Tell Dad I'm going to the movies.
Don't expect me for dinner, OK?
"No problemo."
Bye.
So I'm a man! If Cathy
says so, it must be true,
because she doesn't
always talk bullshit.
Are you all right, big guy?
I have to go out.
Miss Grange has the flu.
What a pit.
So I'll go work at her place.
- She could catch cold coming here.
- She doesn't cover herself much.
Let your sister know.
She's working in her room. I
don't want to disturb her.
- Don't wait for me for dinner.
- "No problemo".
Chocolate cigarettes...
are bad for the liver.
Bye.
Finally alone.
Good morning, Francoise.
Here's your breakfast.
Thanks. Is it for me?
Oh yeah...
Oh yeah...
- Oh yes...
- No...
- Yes...
- No...
Yes... Yes...
No...
Yes, yes, yes...
No...
Yes, yes...
Cathy?
Antoine?
Cathy...
Pierre?
Pierre?
Antoine...
Oh...
Cathy hasn't come home.
Dad either.
You mean you're alone
since yesterday?
Sorry, darling. Sorry, sweetie.
I should've been here.
Why didn't you call
me at the hotel?
- Uh... I didn't think of it.
- Somebody is gonna hear from me!
By the way, where
is your father?
Did he say anything?
He didn't say anything.
Is he at Miss Grange's?
- She caught a cold.
- Oh... Poor thing...
The coffee is ready.
Huh?
Your son spent the night alone.
Not possible. And
where was Cathy?
Does Miss Grange feel better?
No.
No, but we managed to finish
her probation report.
You're a bastard!
Ah, there you are.
Where have you been?
Where?
You can't leave your brother alone
without telling where you are.
He's right about that.
Dad wasn't here either.
Well, well. So you feel guilty... and
you put the blame on your daughter.
Now, you tell me...
that's not very nice.
Don't ask me look to after your
relationship problems... I have my own.
What do you mean?
Last night a great thing
happened. The thing.
Don't tell me that...
Yes, the big leap, and all the rest.
Nirvana, it's done.
I don't know why,
but I'm so thirsty.
Don't worry.
It's normal after what you just went
through... It must be hereditary.
Ah, I forgot to tell you...
I canceled the car.
Ours can still hold
one more year.
Mom was mad at Dad
because of Sandra,
Dad was mad at Mom for
still buying the car,
and Cathy went to visit Freud's house...
It was fun.
The only positive thing: This year
it was us who rented the villa.
Hey, hello.
I'm happy to be here.
Véro, we're gonna have
a wonderful holiday.
Hello.
- Hello.
- Hello. How are you?
- Fine.
- Thanks for this paradise.
- Is it nice?
- Oh yes.
To you too, of course.
Hello?
Yes.
Yes.
Okay, I'll put him on.
Georges?
Telephone.
Expecting a personal call?
Véronique, we have to talk.
About what?
About your bitch that
restored your virility?
I don't care.
- Is it for me?
- Yes.
Hello?
She went backpacking with friends.
That's why she isn't here.
- Where did she go?
- To Vienna, to see Freud's house.
- Perhaps she'll drop by.
- I hope so.
- We didn't see her last year either.
- Yes, too bad.
Don't you think
you've eaten enough?
- It's not good to eat too much at night.
- That's true.
So, dear Lucie, how is Simon?
- He went "rope" climbing.
- "Rock" climbing, darling.
- What did I say?
- "Rope" climbing, darling.
- I heard you're working as well.
- Yes.
You also concoct stupid
commercials to sell movies?
- No, Mom, that's me.
- You should be looking after your family.
You know, Véro... I always
thought you had a lot of talent.
And I'm proud of you.
- So, tell us.
- Well...
As you know, I was hired
as a receptionist.
- I didn't do much, and was happy there.
- And now you smoke at the table.
Grandma... may I be excused?
Of course, darling.
But you don't leave empty-handed.
Every time my mom was
confronted with hers,
she changed completely,
and I didn't like it.
I really didn't.
Especially, since I only
had 3 servings of meat.
That's how your daughter
became an ad designer,
and that's why a larger
agency wants her.
- And are you going to accept this offer?
- Without a doubt.
- Women aren't made to work.
- I strongly agree.
Gender equality...
Don't make me laugh.
Perhaps at work, but at home...
No way!
Not true. Men
participate nowadays.
Well, sometimes.
If women didn't work,
families could not survive.
She's right. Look at
teachers, for example.
But I look at them.
I look at them.
Antoine!
Why is Mom like that
when Grandma is around?
I don't want to talk
like your sister,
but I think your mother didn't
receive much love as a child.
Hardly any.
Now she has a huge need for
recognition... in general.
Keeping to yourselves?
Huh?
It's poetic, as landscape?
Huh?
And then...
It's so restful.
Huh?
No?
Huh?
Your coffee's getting cold.
No, thank you. I pass.
Well, let's clear out.
- Are you coming, Georges?
- No, later.
It's true, you can breathe here.
Yes... I'm coming.
Of course, you invited your
mother to spend your holidays.
- I do not care!
- I know, but don't exaggerate.
Your mother is annoying. When she
opens her mouth I want to kill her.
You could spend your
holidays with Sandra.
About Sandra, if you want to know...
Yes! I enjoyed myself!
- Like an animal!
- She'll get her degree, at least.
- You think you were hired for your talent?
- Of course. What are you insinuating?
Stop being angry all
the time. Enough is enough!
You know, Georges...
I don't know how to tell you.
These holidays can't be
fun for Lucie and you.
What are you afraid of, Pierre?
That we'll stop liking you
after 25 years of friendship?
It's in hard times that you
know who your real friends are.
I was thinking of something...
There's a vacancy for a
director where I work.
You should apply for it.
- Would I have to compete, as you did?
- Yes.
There will be an endurance test,
silly puzzles and stupid
psychological tests, right?
Yes, that's exactly it.
I studied economics, Georges...
I didn't go to circus school.
I wasn't talking about
the circus, Pierre.
I was just talking
about Véro and you.
Dad, you can do it.
You're shipwrecked. You're alone
with a great girl. What do you do?
Flares... signal flares.
- What do you do with the girl?
- Huh?
Um... Yoga, relaxation.
Pierre, a very pretty girl.
I don't know.
You fuck her! You do what's obvious!
You fuck her.
Yes... you fuck her.
Stop the timer.
- The tree test.
- Oh yes?
Good. Analyze the drawing.
What is that?
Baobab seeds in a
garden in France.
A boy watered it every morning,
but it didn't grow because it
wasn't in its natural environment.
If they propose the tree
test, take a wild card.
- Okay?
- Why?
Ecology is in fashion.
You're supposed to be the tree.
I'll take a wild card.
These were the most sportive holidays
ever... Dad's morale was sky high.
You shall succeed...
or I cut off my hand.
Georges didn't cut off
his hand as promised,
but my father's job
competition was a flop.
No, this man wasn't
going out for a walk.
No, he wasn't leaving
for work either.
He was leaving us.
Hello.
Hello, darling.
She was hired at Rex
without an interview,
without endurance or psychological tests...
It wasn't fair.
Hurry up, Antoine.
I have no classes before 9 am.
I know. You have study period.
The principal agrees.
I can't go with you later,
I'm working. You know that.
With Dad, at least...
Okay, but he isn't here... so
don't give me a hard time.
But why did he leave us?
Because he went to see Sandra?
Or because Mom had to find work,
and her career plan
was fail–safe?
If I hadn't stolen that jacket,
she would never have started to work.
Therefore...
Dad left because of me.
But life without Dad is...
How to explain it?
It's as if the whole
world were empty.
Cathy!
Cathy, you must help me.
With what?
Mom and Dad.
- Yes. What?
- We must do something.
- It's all my fault.
- No, Antoine... 20 years is already great.
Love is neither certain nor tragic.
Okay?
Oh, hi, Antoine.
How long have you been together?
Uh... 11 minutes.
Since this summer.
Well... What do we do?
- Nothing. It's their problem.
- Listen, they are adults.
You have to give
them some slack.
I had to talk to them.
My God!
- Mom!
- Just a sec, honey, I'm with Lucie.
- Are you sure?
- I surprised them in Simon's room.
But don't worry,
they didn't see me.
I can't believe it.
That they didn't seen me?
No. Cathy and Simon together.
Imagine if they got married,
we would be one family.
- I feel like crying. Here.
- No, thanks. Calm down.
They won't make commitments,
especially Cathy.
They have no experience,
they're so young.
We got married at their
age, and knew a lot less.
Look how we ended up.
Speak for yourself.
Oh, Véro, sorry.
Any news?
Mom.
No. And I don't want any.
Nonsense!
Mom.
He left... It's up
to him to come back.
If he doesn't?
Mom.
"Mom." Can't you
call me "mommy"?
Am I half a mother?
Come on, it's time
to go home now.
If he doesn't come back?
I didn't throw him out, did I?
Dad.
Cathy...
- Cathy with Simon?
- Yes.
She made her paternal
transference.
Her what?
Dad.
Forget it.
Uh...
You've got a pretty
nice setup here.
I mean, it's not...
Yes, you can stop your bullshit.
It's not my fault
you left your wife.
Dad.
One second.
No, it's not your fault.
Why don't you go back? Don't
you think it's ridiculous?
Dad.
Do you see me arriving there?
"Excuse me, dear, I'm coming home."
I have a bit more
dignity than that.
- If she wants me back...
- She has to come and get you?
You wanted to tell me
something, big boy?
Do you like your new bike?
Happy holidays, everybody.
Antoine?
What's the matter, lad?
Your results have plummeted.
Do you want to talk about it?
I don't give a damn
about your bullshit.
What I want... is that
you get back together.
Okay, it's my fault, but I
don't give a damn about jackets,
or about who earns more
or who earns less.
You say that we are childish.
I think you are!
No one listens to
me, no one sees me.
I'm fed up.
That's good, Antoine,
you're very brave.
I've never seen a boy in
your condition smiling.
You bet. I have a good
reason to be happy.
My eye and arm won't
be sacrificed in vain.
- Shall I wash you a fruit?
- He just had one.
Don't you have a meeting
with your staff?
- I'd like to see the doctor.
- He won't come for another half an hour.
- Are you doing it on purpose?
- What?
You seem pleased that
I can't wait for him.
What an idea, to buy him a bike!
- Yes, it's my fault. Blame me!
- I'm not blaming you!
Oh, Lord, I thought
we would never land.
And the traffic jams
at Biard-Poitiers...
It's a miracle that I'm here.
How are you, darling?
Nobody cares... even if I died.
Nobody cares.
Of course not.
You're parents are busy now.
Stop whining. You remind
me of your father.
- I know what you're thinking.
- So?
- And I agree.
- With what?
With everything. Your
parents, the divorce...
I wasn't born yesterday.
But I would've done something,
instead of whining.
I did all I could.
Oh...
Maybe if I die, my parents
will reconcile on my deathbed.
Don't talk nonsense.
Granny... I thought you
couldn't stand my father?
But I can't stand him. I can't.
But my daughter loves
him, you love him.
Everybody loves that guy.
So...
Maybe I'm wrong.
I'm not going home.
Me neither.
What...
Did you talk to me, madam?
Did you talk to me?
You're wasting your time.
She is totally senile.
- My name is Sophie. And you?
- It's you?
No need to talk. I'm stone deaf.
Holy shit.
Watch your mouth, nonetheless.
How do you do that?
- What?
- To talk in my head.
And you? How do you do it?
I don't know.
Well, me neither.
My name is Antoine.
Shall we go for a walk, Antoine?
So what's wrong?
My parents are splitting
up because I... Well...
I stole a jacket.
- Are you sure it's because of that?
- Well, yes.
- They are not truly in love.
- Of course they are.
- Then you have to do something.
- Easy to say.
When adults are stuck in a
loop, you can do nothing.
Hardships bring some
people together,
but it's not our case.
I don't know what to do.
You know, you should
always come full circle.
Huh?
- Aren't you ashamed of bugging old ladies?
- Sorry, Antoine. I must go.
- I wasn't bugging her, we were talking.
- Very funny.
- Shall we go wash up?
- Bye, Antoine.
Goodbye, Sophie.
"Come full circle."
Hey, but that's not senile at all.
- Granny?
- Oh... Yes?
- I think I have the idea of the century.
- Oh yes? What?
- But...
- What?
You must help me.
Look, Gisou, who's coming for a visit.
But it's the laddie.
Look how big he's grown.
- Your father?
- No, I fell off my bike.
Oh!
He loves his dad, nonetheless.
- Huh?
- Can I look around?
Of course, sweetie.
Whatever you want.
Come on.
I'm going.
Excuse me, dear, but I have
to do Christmas inventory.
- Come by whenever you want.
- Till soon, laddie.
But, madam...
Madam!
This little rascal just stole a jacket.
- What's it to you?
- Well...
What do you care?
Obviously, she's
never known misery.
- What are you talking about?
- This child is unhappy.
Because his parents
mistreat him?
- Absolutely.
- Absolutely.
His mother earns 35000 F per month,
and gets paid 14 months per year.
His father is a teacher.
I would call the police.
I know from experience...
there are things a
child cannot make up.
You're cuckoo! Why are you here?
I don't like your kind.
- Are you buying a leather mini skirt?
- Why not?
Come, sweetie. Go home.
If you touch single button,
I call the police.
Don't think twice, Antoine.
Don't think twice.
Think of your parents.
We've come full circle.
Do you always do
bullshit at Christmas?
Try a different store next year.
I didn't understand this story...
of alcoholic parents, unemployed,
who beat their children...
I've heard that you
are separated.
That must make you happy!
I don't rejoice at other
people's misfortunes.
What misfortunes? We're
happy to be normal.
Pierre.
What, "Pierre"?
Tell him how thrilled we are...
to be normal.
We have a new problem on our hands.
I'd like to resolve it quickly.
Unless what our son did is normal.
If so, why are we here?
Yes, his attitude is
completely normal.
It's normal that he has re-offended,
and that you are separated.
It's normal that you're here.
But it's not normal that he suffers with
your separation, hence he re-offended.
In short...
Last year, you said that he stole
because we were a happy couple.
Now you say that he re-offends because
he suffers with our separation.
Exactly.
This child is in need.
In need of what?
- Well, he's in need.
- Well, it's not my fault.
"It's not my fault" It's not you
who failed the fucking exam.
It's not you who screwed
Sandra, and left the house.
You're a Super Woman... a Turbo Woman...
and I'm a jerk!
Antoine?
Antoine?
Antoine?
Antoine?
- Stop, stop... It's my fault.
- No, it's mine.
No, it's mine. True,
you've changed a little.
You were perfect. I behaved like an ass...
like an abandoned boy.
And I, like a monster.
Maybe we should consult Cathy.
Do you still love me a little?
Have I changed so much that
you can no longer tell?
If you looked well, you'd see
that I can't take it anymore.
I like my job, I won't quit,
but I can't live without you.
Can't you see that anymore?
Yes... maybe... I don't know.
We'll see.
You can be so annoying!
And you? What do you see?
I definitely love to
see my parents kiss.
Oh no... no, no, no!
That's so ridiculous.
In the middle of the street,
Pierre, that's so vulgar.
Thank you, darling.
The turkey will get cold...
It's dry already.
Come.
Come.
Subtitles by Subransu
Editing by Tintin