Why Don't You Play in Hell? (2013) - full transcript
A renegade film crew becomes embroiled with a yakuza clan feud.
Gnash your teeth hard
Let's go!
Now gnash and gnaw
Let's fly!
It's like a tingling bite
Gnash 'em hard
Let's go!
Gnash your teeth hard
Let's go!
Now gnash and gnaw
Let's fly!
Keep 'em nice, Ga-Ga-Ga
with Gi-Gi-Gi!
Keep 'em shiny and clean!
"Gnaw with Ga-Ga-Ga!"
Tough teeth!
My world changed that day.
Until then I was just a movie buff.
Action!
As usual I was making a movie
that day
with a raw egg fight.
We weren't your regular
movie buffs.
The Fuck Bombers
were the craziest in Japan.
It was then
I sensed something unsettling.
And...
I met him.
I ran to look.
Look at them! They're crazy!
Awesome!
Both Miki and Tanigawa
got ready to shoot.
That's when he noticed.
Stop!
What's up?
- We're filming.
- Don't!
You guys are cool! Keep going!
Miki.
Leave dolly shots to me!
Tanigawa.
I pig out and do hand-held shots!
See?
- No, damn it!
- Cool.
Lay off!
Roll!
Remember? You're fighting them!
Come on, get the
testosterone pumping!
Who's the clown?
Beats me!
That's it.
Keep off me!
You guys too! Give me a glare.
And you too. I want more attitude!
Good.
Ready, action!
Move!
Back off!
Yeah!
We've got to get to work! Move!
Where can we go?
Go to school.
Shut up!
Listen to an old man!
You're not my old man!
Damn right!
Can we pass?
Move!
Why Don't You Play in Hell?
What's that?
This?
- It's a camera.
- 8mm.
For movies!
- We get the best action!
- Really?
- We'll shoot more.
- What?
Anything cool!
We became the Fuck Bombers.
Anything cool!
We became the Fuck Bombers.
Cool.
We became the Fuck Bombers.
We became the Fuck Bombers.
Sasaki.
We became the Fuck Bombers.
We became the Fuck Bombers.
- See you!
- Don't get run over.
We became the Fuck Bombers.
- See you!
- Don't get run over.
Watch out!
I'm Hirata. I'm going to
be a filmmaker.
I'm Sasaki.
You're my action star!
I'm Miki, the king of dolly shots!
I'm Tanigawa,
the queen of hand-held shots!
Good knowing ya!
...the weather's fine.
"Muto-gumi Yakuza"
...the weather's fine.
"Muto-gumi Yakuza"
It's still hot with a high of 29.
"Muto-gumi Yakuza"
It's still hot
with a high of 29.
Along the coast...
"MASAKO BAR"
- Is it steady?
- Yes.
And your nuts?
They're OK too.
Thanks for years of service,
Masako.
You look like such a whore.
There's more to this job
than spreading your legs.
Shut up and go, bitch.
Just ignore her, Junko.
Keep it up.
Sorry.
The Kitagawa yakuza are trailing me.
I'm a bit jumpy.
Masako is loose now.
Take it!
Here comes Junko.
Easy, easy!
Junko...
There goes Masako.
Idiot!
Don't stare at them!
"Muto Family"
Gnash your teeth hard
Let's go!
Gnash your teeth hard
Let's go!
It's like a tingling bite
Gnash 'em hard
Let's go!
I'm home!
I'm home!
Your mom kicks ass.
I'm impressed.
What the hell have you done
to our floor?
Clean it up!
"Fukasaku Police"
Whoa, whoa!
Snap out of it!
Call for backup! Come on!
Relax.
Now!
Name, please?
My husband is Boss Taizo Muto.
I'm Shizue.
The wife of a yakuza boss...
Hey, Muto. About Mitsuko,
your daughter.
What about her?
Her ad might get pulled.
She's unrelated!
You think?
Her parents are hell-raisers.
In self defense.
It was excessive.
It was self defense!
She was against 4 men!
That carnage
was in self defense?
Boss Muto!
Detective, you know the Kitagawa
yakuza were after me.
So you say.
Fuck you!
Stay away!
Find Kitagawa!
Where's Muto?
Is he out?
What do you want?
I'll take you on.
It happened
while you were fooling around.
Lucky you weren't home
with your family.
You got saved by your own
horny ass!
Shut up.
It was in self defense.
They might have been hitmen but
your wife was ruthless.
She chased them even though
they were unarmed.
Son of a bitch!
Keep your hands off my husband!
Try to convince me
that it was self defense!
Maybe it was you who set her up.
Motherfucker...
Take me to the Kitagawa's base.
Right now!
Yessir!
It's for you.
What?
Sorry, Boss.
Where are you now?
I'm on Makino street.
Don't come here.
Hide. You understand?
Yessir.
You didn't kill him...
No.
It's just like a movie!
- A yakuza...
- What?
I'm a gangsta so
I'll be yakuza one day.
No way! You have to be
Japan's own action hero.
Japan's Bruce Lee.
Don't blame us.
It went wrong...
What's this?
Sorry.
Cut it out!
We want to make movies.
What?
This is cool.
It sure is!
So cool!
Really?
Can we?
Yeah, go ahead!
But only until I turn
that corner.
At the corner
it's goodbye.
Yes, sir.
Film that.
Cool, a blood trail.
Gnash your teeth hard
Let's go...
It's like a tingling bite
Gnash your teeth hard...
The girl whose smile made her
a household name.
Mitsuko's parents' involvement
in a murder
took her toothpaste ad
off the air.
She's cute but she's history now.
She'll be back!
Because
she's...
She your girlfriend?
G-G-Girlfriend!
Your daughter's ad was canceled.
Cocksucker!
I won't break down!
We're the Fuck Bombers!
Come on!
Hello, Mrs. Ohtani.
You're in time for the movie.
No, thanks. We're here
for a meeting.
Mr. Ono is here.
Make sure you knock.
- Sure.
- See you later.
Not that way!
Go in from the front.
I'd like to have a view.
That I can see from the window.
Where the landscape goes on
forever.
Birds chirping in the morning...
Fuck Bombers!
Mr. Ono, meet our new guy.
A future action star.
I'm Sasaki.
Nice face.
I used to come here as a kid.
You did?
That's how it works.
I don't know how long
this cinema will last.
But you can still come here.
Be sure to make a great movie!
- Thank you!
- Go for it.
Let's shoot.
That's the way.
Come on.
See you, sir!
Make a damn good movie
even if it's only one.
"Kitagawa Yakuza"
Muto is here.
Tell me it's not true.
Boss.
Go! Don't be a chicken!
Action!
Look at that moron!
Moron! Moron!
You punks!
Let them go, Bruce!
I'll fight you!
Wait... Wait a minute...
Wait, wait, wait!
That was exciting.
- You were awesome.
- Was I?
Sure were!
The coming of a Movie God.
That good?
Cool!
Those brats at the park
called me a moron.
It's all for the movie.
It's OK.
You know this shrine?
It makes your wishes come true.
Really?
I'll write one.
Movie God, if I can make
a hell of a movie
I don't mind dying.
It's in your hands now.
Movie God, grant me my wish!
Please, Movie God!
- That'll do it.
- Yeah.
I think he deserves a pillow.
Good night.
Not yet!
It's bedtime.
I'm not sleepy!
It's time for bed.
Let me set the alarm please.
For what time?
Tomorrow morning!
Okay.
Stay put.
We're in for the long haul.
OK, boss.
I like that.
Nice kimono.
Isn't it?
Wear a kimono
when you're determined.
A kimono...
I'm determined.
Wanna cry?
Why cancel her ad?
That girl is everything to me!
Don't you dare cancel it!
Ikegami here.
Put Muto on.
Muto.
It was the Boss
who wanted you dead.
I hated his guts.
I'm taking over Kitagawa yakuza.
I'm phasing out all his
policies.
Listen.
How about a truce?
You play it cool.
I can say the same about you.
Alright.
Lucky nobody died on my side.
Call it a truce and
I'll keep my cool.
Guys.
Boss!
It's goodbye to foreigners' clothes!
Put on kimonos. Kimonos!
All of you!
Boss!
We'll move into a castle!
Yessir!
Go and change.
Hurry up!
Go to the kimono shop.
You're next!
Those sunglasses.
Get something Japanese.
Yessir!
No rings. They don't
match kimonos.
Good.
Now go!
You're up next.
- You.
- Yessir!
- Call me Boss!
- Boss!
Good.
Get rid of the mustache.
Shave it off.
It doesn't suit you.
A nice clean shave. Snip, snip!
Fuck!
Bombers!
Cheers!
On that day we made a vow.
We'd make a great movie.
Fuck Bombers!
Fuck Bombers!
Fuck Bombers!
Gnash your teeth hard
Let's go!
Now gnash and gnaw
Let's fly!
Keep 'em nice, Ga-Ga-Ga
with Gi-Gi-Gi!
That fateful day
wouldn't be for a while.
Guess how long?
About 10 years later
The latest in samurai action.
The Fuck Bombers present
The Blood of Wolves!
Featuring Sasaki,
the latest action star.
He cuts, slices and thrashes!
A Bruce Lee fan
for 10 long years.
After starring in our
Bruce Lee trilogy
Sasaki is ready for the real thing.
A movie to end all
samurai action movies.
Directed by me, Hirata.
The Blood of Wolves!
"Now Showing"
"Closed, thank you for your support"
It's been about 10 years.
What became of the Fuck Bombers?
Have we become boring adults?
That packed out cinema of ours.
It became a deserted ruin.
"We enjoyed serving you"
Let's watch it again.
The latest in samurai action.
The Fuck Bombers presents
The Blood of Wolves!
Featuring Sasaki,
the latest action star.
He cuts, slices and thrashes!
A Bruce Lee fan
for 10 long years.
After starring in our
Bruce Lee trilogy
Sasaki is ready for the real thing.
A movie to end all
samurai action movies.
Directed by me, Hirata.
The Blood of Wolves!
How was that?
It's OK.
He kicks ass, right?
Sure does.
How about my beautiful dolly shots?
Wait! My hand-held shots are better!
I'm the best!
That's right.
You're great.
Let's watch it again.
- That shot's beautiful, Tanigawa.
- I know.
Yeah?
Here comes Sasaki. Here he comes!
He's incredible.
And here he goes again!
Awesome!
Great, Sasaki.
You're incredible.
Who's in that photo?
What is it, Maki?
Who are they?
Us back in high school.
You look much older now!
10 years can do that.
- I can't tell who's who.
- Sure you can, look!
Who is this?
It's Sasaki in the same tracksuit.
His hair's long now.
Who is this then?
It's me! I haven't changed a bit!
Who's this cute one?
Her with the red scarf!
- Who is the slim guy?
- He's fat now.
He's bursting out of his vest.
OK, who is this old man?
The 35mm projectionist.
What's 35mm?
This.
And this is the 35mm film projector.
It's awesome!
Why didn't you use that today?
For your film.
Because it's a video.
It's not a movie?
Right. It's the pilot.
The pilot?
We show it to
potential investors.
So it's not finished yet?
It will be. Right, Sasaki?
Yeah.
When did you make it?
2 years ago.
Maybe 3.
4 to be exact.
Big mouth.
When will you make it?
Tomorrow!
OK, let's go get some beer!
Looking good.
Do you know what's
on your T shirt?
"Please bukkake me."
Is that right?
I don't know.
You're listening to Japan Radio.
I'll play a mega-hit from
10 years ago
from a popular ad!
Here's "Gnash Your Teeth Hard
Let's Go"!
Gnash your teeth hard
Let's go!
Now gnash and gnaw
Let's fly!
- How are you doing?
- Good!
It's goodbye to Junko.
Just like Masako.
Who's Shizue?
Don't ask that!
Thank you for the last 10 years.
Sorry.
Don't hurry.
Easy.
She's coming home after
sacrificing herself for you.
I must go.
There goes Junko.
Idiot!
Don't stare!
Shizue.
Shizue.
This could be a momentous day.
My boys are getting all wired up
down below.
What's Ikegami up to?
They killed one of us
so that means war.
They're provoking us!
It's our turn
to provoke them!
Be quiet!
You have a gun?
I sure do.
Show me.
Show me your guns!
Keep them loaded.
- You like red?
- Yes!
Good! That will look
great in your room.
Something fell.
Something went up.
Set me free!
I don't want to get hit!
Listen to me, baldy!
Cut the fucking rope!
Go set her free!
Let me go!
Now! Hurry up!
Die, fuckers!
Hi, Mom. I'm sorry,
I lost my cell phone.
You idiot, Koji!
Hang up. Now.
Koji...!
Who are you?
Be my boyfriend for the day.
All you have to do is to pretend!
Here.
100,000 yen.
Just for one day.
And the money's yours.
You're Koji?
Yes.
Koji. Lean on me.
And hold my shoulder.
Pick up the receiver.
Then talk.
Hello?
Like this?
That's good. Keep going.
Hello.
Tell me, boys. Am I being rational?
Yes. You're rational.
Hurry back to me, Mitsuko.
That stupid girl!
You're out in 10 days.
10 more days.
Just 10 days.
I noticed something in the yard
the other day.
I've always been impressed
by the blue sky.
I was amazed by it
for some reason.
But today I wasn't impressed by it.
It was weird
so I asked my cellmate
and she said,
"Of course. The sky isn't blue
for your benefit."
She's right. It just
happens to be blue.
Once you're out of here,
I'll impress you.
Mitsuko.
How's the film going?
Good, It'll wrap soon.
Amazing...
It's her film debut!
She held a toothbrush
and said "Tough teeth!"
Showing her shiny teeth.
Gnash your teeth hard
Let's go!
Now gnash and gnaw
Let's fly!
She was so cute.
I knew she'd make a great actress.
She's not only cute...
But like you
she's sexy.
Wonderful...
I want to see the movie.
Even if the sun isn't
out to impress you
this movie...
exists only to impress you.
It's time.
Only 10 more days.
I love you.
I love you too.
Gnash your teeth hard
Let's go!
Boss!
Have you found Mitsuko?
We have a bigger issue here.
Watch your mouth.
What is it?
Ikegami's men are here.
Any casualties?
None so far.
It's a cat!
It's a cat.
Think before you shoot!
Sorry!
What about Mitsuko?
Mitsuko!
Sorry but...
Don't give me stupid excuses!
Find her!
Fuck Ikegami's men!
Find Mitsuko, you idiot!
To the studio.
The studio, Boss?
Where are we going?
Come on!
OK!
Why?
Why is it?
I can't resist her.
All my DNA's fired up.
Fix my strap.
Why?
Why don't I run?
I could.
Who are you?
Do it up.
Listen. I have to visit a man.
OK.
His name is
Mitsuo Yoshimura, OK?
OK.
My one and only lover
Why did you run from me?
I'd follow you anywhere
My one and only lover
Why did you run from me?
I'd follow you anywhere
Cut!
No can do.
I'm begging you, Kinoshita.
I wish I could make it happen, Muto.
But I can't.
- Come on!
- No!
The producer can do anything.
That's not the issue, Muto!
Don't you get it?
Mitsuko is back. She's at home.
So what if you found her?
We're wrapping in 5 days.
Know what that means?
That woman can't act like
my Mitsuko!
I know! Of course Mitsuko
is better.
This girl overacts.
I know that already!
- Well then!
- Listen!
We wrap in 5 days.
Even if Mitsuko came back
it's no good.
It's too late to refilm
the scenes with her.
It's not about Mitsuko.
You know that.
I know your wife is wonderful.
A hell of a woman.
She did 10 years!
It's for her.
She's looking forward to this.
OK, listen to me.
I waited for 1 week!
Because you said that Mitsuko
would do it for her mother.
I stopped everything for 1 week!
We're overbudget because we lost
a whole week.
From one man to another,
what else can I do?
Why are you thinking
about movies now?
It's not the time.
I know that.
Not after that big shootout
with the Kitagawa yakuza.
They raided my place just now.
There was a shootout and carnage.
Have you lost your mind!
No, I'm sane. Completely sane.
That's why I'm here.
You...
Yoshi...
It's Yoshimura!
Mr. Yoshimura!
I'm a postman.
Say it's a delivery!
Sorry.
Mr. Yoshimura,
I have a delivery for you.
Coming.
Wait.
I have a delivery for you.
Mr. Yoshimura.
- Mr. Yoshimura.
- Yes?
Are you Mr. Yoshimura?
How did you know I was here?
I have a package for you.
Mr. Yoshimura.
Yes.
Sign here.
I'm sorry...
Sign for it!
Can I have your signature,
Mr. Yoshimura?
Good, you're OK!
Koji!
Yes!
Come here!
Now!
Leave the shoes on!
Come on, hold the fucker still.
Now!
Tighter!
I'm not going to run!
I'm sorry, Mitsuko, I was wrong.
I deserve to die.
I knew you'd find me.
You're being so obedient!
If you're ready to die now
why did you run off
when Dad abducted me?
Forgive me!
Do you have any idea who I am?
I know what you are!
Muto!
An amateur!
I'll show you how to kill
someone for real.
Muto!
And this gun! It's all fake!
Don't bother lighting her, DP!
You're in the way.
Please leave.
The crew prefers working with her
rather than Mitsuko Muto.
Say that again!
She showed her true colors
when she ran away.
She's not a pro!
She just messed us around.
What?
You should leave.
I'll be back.
Say Ah with feeling.
Open up.
Wider.
Gnash your teeth hard
Let's go!
Now gnash and gnaw
Let's fly!
It's like a tingling bite
Gnash your teeth hard
Let's go!
She your girlfriend?
G-G-Girlfriend!
A farewell kiss.
Goodbye.
I'm done, Koji. Let's go.
Yes.
"Ikegami Headquarters"
Gnash your teeth hard
Let's go!
Now gnash and gnaw
Let's fly!
It's like a tingling bite
Gnash your teeth hard
Let's go!
Move swiftly!
Move it!
Get the hell out of my way.
Boss!
Tingling bite!
Boss!
Here're some recent photos
of Muto's daughter.
I can see that.
Muto got her a movie role
but she left.
I know!
That baboon is a hopeless father.
I'd be better!
I could have made her into
a fine actress.
I could've...
Boss...
It's not too late to try!
She was so lively and wonderful.
She made my heart race...!
Snap to it, men!
Which movie do you want to see?
That's sacred! Out!
Paul Newman.
Eugene Shuftan had no
hand-held shots in his film.
Where were his dolly shots?
OK, I'm Tom Cruise.
Let's quit.
- What?
- Let's quit.
Quit what?
How long are we going to
do this bullshit?
What bullshit?
Everything.
Like what?
This movie fiasco!
What's wrong with movies?
Look where it led us!
- You'd quit?
- Yes.
- After 10 years?
- Yes.
- You can't do that!
- I will.
- Hell no.
- Yes!
What's kept us going?
- Passion!
- Love.
- And...
- What?
- Fortitude.
- Ambition.
- And so on.
- No!
And so on...
And on and on...
It never ends!
You want an end?
Yes, fuck the next Bruce Lee!
I'm almost 30!
In 2 years.
I was already too old
for this at 25.
The never-ending
rite of passage.
Stay 17 as long as you can.
- How boring.
- Sasaki.
What if today is
the day we've waited for?
The same old bullshit!
Same old, same old!
Show me a sign
if today is the day!
No. Only God can.
What God?
The Movie God.
When did God say this was the day?
I don't know but
I'm always praying!
"Help me make
a great movie."
Then I'll happily die or be murdered.
I'm always praying for that day!
When will it come?
When it comes!
- So not today.
- It may be today!
That's nonsense.
Go on and keep going.
That's what you do!
Count me out.
You'll upset the Movie God!
Let him be upset!
We're the Fuck Bombers!
Where is your suit?
- I've got work.
- A part-timer for life!
Even that's better!
Stop it!
You taught us how to fight!
What if I taught you?
It's your fault.
I did you a favor!
I've had enough of you!
10 years and you're still
making amateur movies.
And your cameras!
They're video!
We're just keeping up the times.
You're impossible. Die!
Only from movies!
Nobody dies that way!
- I will.
- Go ahead!
Only when the day comes!
Movie God, please kill
the poor bastard.
He will when the day comes!
- Got it?
- No!
- Get it?
- No!
This might be the day!
Today?
If today was the day
would you die for me?
For you? Don't be stupid.
Be the last action hero!
I'll only die for myself.
Fuck the last action hero!
I want to make one masterpiece.
Not like those directors
who make any old movie for money
and houses.
Not me.
My masterpiece will be a legend
in film history.
We once believed that bullshit.
Yes, it's bullshit
but it's holy!
Holy bullshit!
Holy bullshit!
Holy bullshit!
I'm going!
Holy bullshit!
He's really gone...
What did he do to you?
We planned to run away
but he left me.
You can't run.
That's defeat.
Now you're preaching to me!
Why sneak around?
If I don't, Dad will kill me.
Why is your father after you?
You're my boyfriend for the day
so start acting like one.
No more questions.
I'm returning this.
Keep it.
- I don't want it.
- Why not?
I've never met
a woman like you, Mitsuko.
That farewell kiss of yours
was so cool.
That was a first.
Uh-huh.
I don't want the money.
Please pretend to be my girl
for the day.
Please.
Aren't you afraid of me?
I am!
So if I got scared and ran off
make me swallow glass.
You're just saying it.
I won't run off.
Until daybreak
let me be your...
pretend boyfriend.
What now?
Mitsuko, you're from
the toothpaste ad.
Gnash your teeth hard
Let's go!
Now gnash and gnaw
Let's fly!
Same name.
That's right.
What's going on?
Looks like they got us.
Back off!
"Ikegami Yakuza"
He heard that the Muto yakuza
are on their way.
Right?
Yes.
Kill them!
Right!
Kill on arrival!
Kill on arrival!
Kill!
Get the girl!
Men, take her from that bastard.
Bring her to me!
Kill! Kill!
What will happen to me?
You will be killed.
Because you fucked
the boss's daughter.
- I didn't.
- You did.
- No!
- Wrong.
You snatched a movie star
from the set.
Why would you think it's OK?
It's 5:10 now.
You'll be dead before nightfall.
Take it like a man.
Help me!
Show us how manly you are.
Boss!
- The cops?
- They left.
Alright.
- They want to see you.
- Later.
This is an emergency.
We'll make a movie unit.
Why now?
I know, I know!
I know what you want to say.
But just think about it.
The reason we are in this gang today
and doing what we're doing
is because my wife sacrificed herself
to protect me.
Right.
Shota.
Suppose you killed Ikegami
for me.
You'd have to go to jail.
Leaving your wife and kids
to starve.
Would I leave them in misery?
- No.
- Of course not!
Mitsuru!
I'd make sure your woman had
a decent life too!
That's a yakuza's compassion.
Right, Boss!
You agree, Sanada?
Yes.
Maybe it's crazy to
shoot a movie now.
I'm no idiot you know.
But a woman
sacrificed herself for us.
She'll be out in 10 days.
The thought of seeing her
girl's movie got her through.
We'll show it on
the silver screen.
For her to see!
See what I mean?
Yes.
Do you?
I know you do.
Does it hurt?
A little.
Do you agree?
A little.
Atta boy, you're a real yakuza.
Movie companies would be reluctant
to deal with us now.
So we should do it ourselves.
Let's make a movie as a token
of appreciation!
Yes, Boss.
But Boss... we're yakuza.
I hear you.
I would rather not do it
if I had a choice.
But
we can't avoid it just like we
can't avoid yakuza wars.
Boss, maybe we can film a raid!
Go on.
We can kill 2 birds with one stone!
It's better than
filming at a studio.
We can fuck over
the Ikegami yakuza
and the movie industry.
You crazy motherfucker.
Muto.
You found her!
Yes, with the guy.
The one who ran off with her.
We're on our way.
Name?
Hey, what's your name?
Koji Hashimoto.
It's Koji Hashimoto.
Yes, we took his ID.
You've got the wrong man...
Bring them to me now!
They found Mitsuko and her man.
Let's make a movie!
- That's it then.
- Let's make a movie!
And kill the enemy!
- Make a great movie.
- Right.
You can say no.
We'll do it.
I'm in, Boss.
You win.
Good. First let's clean up.
I've seen some wimps in my time.
But they weren't as wimpy as you.
A real man would confess to
screwing the Boss's daughter.
You must have expected this.
It's time you owned up.
Be brave, Koji.
They're going nowhere.
They will soon.
He's too hotheaded to leave it
at that.
But they're happily cleaning.
You idiot. You want to become
a good cop?
Yes.
Then look beneath the surface.
Right.
Got it?
They know we're staking them out.
If they planned to attack
the enemy's base
would they make that obvious to us?
Now I'm catching on.
Right?
It's all a show.
A real man would
endure the pain and sing!
Yes.
Boss! Boss!
Are you OK? You're sweating!
I'm fine.
Muto's late.
He used to be more gutsy.
I have the same dream
in bad times.
Mitsuko appears in my dream.
How could she happily dance
in that bloodbath?
The dream leaves me
feeling weird.
It tingles!
That's right.
I couldn't help clapping my hands.
Bravo!
Where's Mom?
I don't know.
She's alive.
Of course!
My Mom's way too tough for
you guys!
I saw your ad.
My ad?
Yes.
Was I good?
Not bad.
Will you guys come back
for revenge?
Definitely.
Will you be doing this
when I'm an adult?
We've got a score to settle.
I'll be an actress by then.
Come see me and
I'll give you my autograph.
That's swell.
Listen, I'm losing
a lot of blood.
Can you call the hospital
so I can live to get your autograph?
I don't want to make your house
any messier.
Loser. Make sure you
send a cleaning service.
Hello.
The Muto residence.
I've got an injured man here
and lots of bodies.
Now get up and hit the road!
Show your teeth and smile
like a man!
Gnash your teeth hard
Let's go!
- Gnash your teeth, let's go!
- Boss.
Are you OK?
Yes.
Get your dirty hands off me!
Move it!
Your face can't be bruised
for a month.
I've had enough!
I hated it!
All those local TV ads for 10 years!
I'm 20! No more bit roles!
I want to be the star!
And it has to be a kick-ass role!
Not like that dumb movie!
It was going to wrap in 10 days!
10 goddamn days!
10 days and you could have
gone anywhere with this loser.
10 days! Only 10 days!
You could've endured it!
It was just 10 more days!
Give him some tea.
Tea, come on.
Why did you run?
Was this pathetic man so good?
It's him!
He's the filmmaker.
I told you about him!
On your feet!
He said Mom wouldn't want to
see me in a dumbass movie!
He asked me to wait for his
masterpiece!
So we ran off.
Mitsuru.
Call film rentals.
We're shooting!
Lights... or fixtures?
Am I right?
Fixtures!
Camera and film!
Get them ready!
Detective!
What the hell...?
It's a big truck!
Is it loading bombs?
What's that?
I know! It's movie equipment.
See the lights?
And the intre, which is...
Don't be stupid!
These are arms for a raid.
Arms...?
How much do you need?
I eat breakfast with a whore.
We make out all night
and eat in the hotel cafe
or a cheap drive-in diner.
That's only with whores I know well.
It's not much of a treat.
I eat lunch with my lover.
She's my favorite lover.
But I only eat lunch with her
not dinner.
The woman who eats dinner with me
goes to the grave with me.
So she gets to wine and dine.
Would you prefer
what I spend on breakfast,
lunch or dinner?
The dinner money...
Coffee.
I have no idea how much
your movie will cost.
Only you know that.
How much?
If it's within my breakfast budget
it's small change to me
so I'll let you be.
For my lunch money, I'd expect
to have an opinion.
I'd treat you like my lover.
For the price of my dinner
it's a different story.
I'd scrutinize every detail.
I'll have my say about everything.
It's a large sum.
At the dinner table,
I'd treat you like family.
What will it be?
Breakfast.
Breakfast it is.
Oh.
Breakfast is good.
I fooled you!
Is this for the whore?
Can she make this in a night?
Who deserves this much money?
A whore, a lover or a wife?
If you take the money and run
you're dead.
Or if you don't complete it.
You screw up in any way
I will kill you.
Okay?
"Filmmaking 101"
Director! Come here!
Yes.
How fat should the film be?
About this fat.
- Boss.
- The film's this fat.
Director!
I think this is the HMI.
Is this good?
It's good. It's particularly good.
How many do you want?
Three.
Get 3 of them!
Make it 4.
Sorry, make it 4!
Director!
We have 3 cameras.
Which one should we use?
Director!
Quick!
Check their moves.
Which is the record button?
How close do I get with this?
Wait...
Mitsuko, help.
I can't do this...
He's escaped!
Director!
Stop running!
Where are you going?
Jesus Christ!
Dear Movie God,
Help me make a great movie.
Call me, Hirata.
This is it!
This is it! This is it!
This is it!
Don't worry. Sasaki will come back.
Hit me with another one.
A girl will cheer you up.
She's here.
Right there.
Did Sasaki mean that?
Yes, he was serious.
Are we finished?
I hope he comes back.
Hirata is no help...
The breeze and moonlight make the
perfect setting for a couple.
But the man is busy trying
to impress.
Hirata, it's your phone.
Answer it for me.
Hello? You're coming over?
Who is it?
- He's coming.
- Whatever.
Hello?
Phase 2. He's hoping to make a
move tonight.
It's time.
Maybe not! What's the rush?
Hurry!
With all that scheming, he can't
enjoy the romance.
But she can enjoy
every moment of it.
Coffee.
Oh, I'd love to just surrender to
the sweet night.
He wants it, but he can't give in.
I wish I could film Sasaki
with 35mm.
On a movie screen...
- That's the way!
- Great.
He needs to be alert.
The first kiss is so natural
that she's swept away.
But when his lips brush hers,
it's intentional.
Men are never spontaneous.
It appears spontaneous to her
but it's all planned and staged.
No man kisses a girl on impulse.
It's what he was after all along!
Are you Hirata?
Over there.
- Are you Hirata?
- Yeah.
- I need a favor.
- Later.
My name is Koji.
- Not yet.
- Come on...
You have to make a movie with me now.
A movie!
What's going on?
I know this is very sudden.
- Who are you?
- My name is Koji.
What do you want?
At the moment
I can't explain everything...
What's wrong?
Sorry.
I won't ask questions.
But I'm an amateur.
That's fine. You'd know...
a lot more than me.
I know nothing about making movies.
Help me!
Only you can help us.
I don't get it.
Neither do I!
Can you tell me?
He really needs to make a movie
so help him.
That's cool.
- Come back tomorrow.
- No, now!
Why?
I don't understand.
You want to make a movie?
Hell yeah, I want to make a movie!
Money's no object.
And it's 35mm.
35mm with money!
Plus I want a cool starring role.
You?
What's wrong with me?
Wait!
It has to be now!
We're on a date.
Bring her along. Right?
Can you tune in
to the Oldies show?
A man's always got to plan
to keep his girl.
Forcing her like I did,
won't work.
All she can say is, "Don't kiss me,
I'm not so easy."
Where does it leave him?
Does wanting a kiss
make him easy?
Is that the Big Dipper?
Yes. Nature made Earth and
men devise romance.
You can kiss me.
You'd better.
It's your chance.
I think you should.
After all men understand nothing.
You know how it is.
A girl and a boy are with a crowd
in the sun.
She feels an urge to
kiss him on the cheek.
There's no scheme.
It's nature at work.
Take the chance.
Do it.
You should take the chance.
Going to a love hotel
or walking in the moonlight
won't do it.
Genuine feelings are more than that.
They can't coax me.
But I actually want to do it.
Follow your heart and kiss
despite the timing.
Stop the car!
Stay back!
Poor boy. This is their
last night together.
He'll die today. Maybe tomorrow.
Oh, I don't want him to die
before the movie is done.
You want this?
Yeah!
Let's kiss later.
- And tonight?
- I have something on.
You sure about it?
Those people?
They look shady. Don't go.
Life's more fun on the
shady side, silly.
You are silly.
I know.
Next time we meet
I'll surrender to your kiss.
Right. See you then.
Promise me.
I promise.
- What now?
- I'll do what I vowed to do!
Make a masterpiece.
Make a damn good movie.
I need my partner for this.
I need your help, bodyguards.
Welcome!
What's this?
We're making a movie!
It's time you gave up!
It's real! They provide
money and actors!
Yeah!
Leave!
Sasaki!
Take him on!
Aye ya, what have you done!
That cost me!
That's hot!
Cut!
That's it. Come on!
Sasaki.
The day has come!
This is it!
I told you the Movie God wouldn't
desert us.
Sasaki, what's this?
I have to replace these!
Mr. Wang!
Here's this month's salary.
He'll make a damn good movie
so I'll pay you the rest later.
Thank you!
Ready, Director?
I've got cocaine too.
Want some?
I... uh... no.
Hide it then!
It's precious.
They're not coming.
Whichever way this goes, their turf
will be ours.
It seems too easy.
Sounds OK to me!
Let me hear you roar!
I can't hear you!
Once more!
Good.
Tonight we rewrite this
organization's history!
I guarantee it will move you.
Tough times make me tougher.
Adversity helps me win!
Tonight God is right here with us.
He's reached down to me
and led me here.
Here's my guardian angel!
No, he's a god!
Director, get up here.
Hirata is his assistant.
What?
Call him Director from now on,
not Koji!
Director!
Director, any wisdom to share?
Let's see...
Look at the top of the hill
and speak to it.
As Mitsuko's boyfriend...
I realized that only he
could make me into a star!
I knew it had to be him
so I left the set, Dad.
I was selfish but
I hope you understand.
Let's make a good movie.
We'll screen it
to welcome Mom back!
Mitsuko.
Yes?
I love you very much.
I love you too, Dad.
OK. Light, camera, action!
One thing.
Is there a script?
Oh, do we need one?
Director.
You have to see how efficient
the boys are now.
Ready, fellas?
Ready? Action!
What's going on?
They're actually yakuza.
They have some issues
with the Ikegami yakuza.
They'll fight to the death
and we'll film around it.
So everybody's fired up for it.
I'm sorry!
Forgive me!
Holy shit, Movie God!
You still love me!
This is what I wanted to do!
Make the most miraculous movie ever!
My camera operators.
Nice knowing you!
- And...
- Yes?
The next Bruce Lee. He's tough!
And you're the yakuza crew?
We're the camera crew.
The lighting crew.
And you are?
The sound crew.
Are you ready?
No, but we'd rather die than fail!
They're ready to die.
I guess they might actually die.
You'd risk your lives.
I appreciate your dedication.
But...
You have a job to do...
Do it right then die!
I have a plan.
I have one too.
- My plan!
- My plan!
- My plan!
- My plan!
My plan!
It became like a drinking party.
There.
- Got it?
- Yes.
Who are you?
Careful.
Let's see how it tilts.
Give me a pan.
OK. The other way.
Good and... stop.
Good. Let's roll.
Camera.
Action!
Roll camera!
Get him!
There's Sasaki!
Let's go again. Roll it!
Great!
What are those cameras?
Roll camera, action?
The Muto yakuza are filming this!
They aren't camera-shy.
They even collapse with style.
It's so stylized!
My men don't make the grade.
Why's that?
I know! We're realists while
they're fantasists!
Realism will lose!
Oh, no!
My boys don't know how to act
in front of a camera.
They'll beat us!
Mitsuko.
Mitsuko!
Mitsuko!
...and that is the demise of the Ikegami yakuza.
Good, huh, Director?
Will she come along?
No! Use your brain.
I can't be killed off
midway through!
But the scene requires you.
Without a screenplay
I won't do it.
That's all-important to a heroine.
Well, Boss?
Can you write one?
Give me 10 seconds.
I've got it!
We'll ask Ikegami to cooperate.
Don't be stupid, son.
As adults they'll get it.
What...?
This is the movie I wanted to make.
Let me try this.
Boss, it's the Muto people.
What?
What's this?
Are you calling to surrender?
Hello, Sir. I'm Hirata.
I'm not with the Muto yakuza.
But we need to talk.
We're shooting a movie
starring Mitsuko.
What?
Explain.
Like I said, we're shooting a movie
with Mitsuko.
- So?
- Trust me?
It's a movie.
Mitsuko?
The one I know?
Gnash your teeth hard
Let's go!
Now gnash and gnaw
Let's fly!
That's her!
And?
We need to talk.
Is Mitsuko there?
Yes. I'll see you soon.
I'll go see him.
We need to coordinate our actions.
Wait a minute, are you doing
a runner?
Not when I'm about to shoot
a masterpiece!
- See you.
- Wait! I'm coming too.
Why?
To keep an eye on him.
Besides women move things along.
I'm coming too!
As director.
Hello. I just called you now.
Hi.
Come in.
Thanks.
You look awfully relaxed, young fella.
But you shouldn't be!
Start explaining.
What now?
You're the bloody yakuza!
I want to make a movie.
You're that kid!
So you're a yakuza now?
No, that'd be stupid.
I want to make a movie.
You're still on about that!
You must make good money.
I'm not like you.
The pursuit of money is
killing Japanese cinema!
I'll make a great movie
for the world to see!
You called us stupid!
OK.
Where is Mitsuko?
Gnash your teeth hard
Let's go!
Now gnash and gnaw,
Let's fly!
Hey, you're the blood-covered yakuza!
It's been ages!
And we want to do it right.
Not like a live sports broadcast.
So we need to choreograph it
with you
to do it right.
Got it?
Yes!
Boss!
Shut up! Camera or not it's the same.
But...
With the camera's rolling.
Right?
You're right.
Okay.
Let's make a damn good movie!
Thank you!
Excuse me, coming through.
They agreed.
You fucking genius!
Unbelievable.
One thing.
No guns.
Only swords!
Japanese style!
How can I say no?
The genius says so.
It's more manly!
That's the way!
Japanese men with swords!
Right?
I did some fast thinking.
We need a script. Give me time!
All right.
Great. I'll write.
I'll write and write.
The script is most important.
While I write, the others
begin training.
The technicians, engineers, operators
and actors.
Hooray to 35mm!
We're almost ready!
Sasaki coordinates the action.
Mitsuko's acting improves.
No tripods!
While the guys practice
with the 35mm equipment.
Darling.
Mitsuko's great.
Yes, Mitsuko is great.
And my draft has countless
revisions
as it gets closer to perfection.
When it can't be improved
anymore we gather around...
This is it!
We're so excited to
to be working on this great movie.
That's right. That's perfect!
But...
We have no time for that.
Let's do it now!
This looks good.
Cameras and lights, all good,
Director.
Okay.
Roll it...
Action.
Say it right!
Sorry.
I want you to play Koji, who
loves Mitsuko.
- Can I?
- Sure.
- I can do that.
- Stand by in the hall.
Ready?
Roll it!
And cut!
Get cover shots.
What's taking so long?
You want to die?
Actors!
I want you to pose
like big, badass yakuza.
Face the enemy
with your swords like this.
Like Bunta Sugawara and
Tetsuya Watari.
Don't forget Ken Takakura!
Spot on!
OK, come on!
Like this?
Bend down.
And glare!
Grit your teeth!
Beautiful! Keep still.
Camera, pan from here.
That's good.
I love you.
Cut it out, you love Mom more.
35mm cameras are heavy.
Cut! Don't move.
Camera, come here.
Come on!
Try a pan from here.
That's good.
Ready for a grand melee?
Guys in the hall?
Ready when you are!
Lights, ready!
Booms, ready!
Cameras, ready!
Actors, ready!
Ready...
Action!
Whoa, cut, cut!
What's wrong?
The lights!
Sorry. I'll get them back on!
Hold it there!
What the fuck!
Let's go again!
Let's try again.
From the hall?
We've covered that so...
You're face to face with
the enemy
and your swords are up!
How's this, bastard?
Like this?
Good, good!
We're ready!
- Sasaki.
- Yeah.
- Miki.
- Yeah.
- Tanigawa.
- OK.
Ready...
Action!
This is our gig. Fuck Bombers!
Good, Sasaki!
Over there Tanigawa!
Miki get that!
Sasaki, use the nunchakus!
We're the Fuck Bombers.
We'd crash to achieve
our dreams.
This is our dream come true.
The Fuck Bombers have
waited for this moment.
Fly, Fuck Bombers!
Fly sky high and never stop!
Follow Mitsuko!
Mitsuko!
Move your ass!
I'm high on cocaine!
It's fucking awesome!
Mitsuko...
Die!
Ikegami.
Wait a minute.
Isn't she your daughter?
That's right.
She's divine...
She's become a beautiful woman.
Yeah.
Looks like we're losing.
I guess we'll perish in the end.
If it's OK...
I want your girl to...
I want her to finish me off!
Dad?
Dad!
Our time was precious...
Roll.
Action.
You know.
I am stupid.
I'll die stupid, too.
I guess I just wanted to
shine once.
In a big way.
Does your mouth sting?
My mouth?
From the glass...
I've never met a sweet man like you.
Who me...?
You know.
I've never had a real kiss.
A kiss?
I've faked a lot of kisses.
But I've never kissed someone
with feeling.
And cut! Cut!
No, not yet.
If I met someone I loved
maybe acting wouldn't be
important to me.
I guess.
Mitsuko!
Mitsuko!
Koji!
Making out in the
middle of carnage!
Koji, sorry I
dragged you into this.
Thank you.
My right hand...
Even if it were attached to my arm
and I'd lived a long life...
I'd never have...
felt as good as I do now.
You shouldn't have been chatting!
Bastard!
Game over.
No fucking way!
Thank you.
Thank you.
Ready.
Action!
Cut!
The sound's good.
Sasaki, get him!
Sasaki.
Ready.
Action!
Miki, Tanigawa, come on!
Go Sasaki!
Get him! Jump!
Circle around them! Come on!
OK, cut. Good job.
You're just like Jackie!
Cool, Jackie!
Good, Sasaki!
Nice! It's peaceful here.
Can you hear Mitsuko...?
It's a gunshot!
A gunshot! A gunshot!
For killing Muto.
I didn't kill him though...
Peace...
You broke the rules!
More to the left!
It's ready!
Push it!
Come on!
Give me a good image!
Die for the camera!
Give me good images!
Die, die, die!
I'm the queen of hand-held shots!
Die, fuckers!
Show me how to die!
Good shot!
Hand-held shots rule!
Ikegami!
It's just like that time.
Gnash your teeth hard
Let's go!
Now gnash and gnaw,
Let's fly!
No girl
compares to you.
Stop right there!
Detective!
Spread out!
Koji!
Drop your sword!
It's not a weapon!
Hey...
Was I OK in the movie?
Did I kick ass...?
Mitsuko!
Mitsuko...?
Let me go!
Let go!
Ikegami!
Dumbass!
- Next.
- Yessir!
Great kick!
Face the camera!
Perfect!
It's a movie! They're
shooting a movie!
The police extras are here!
Sasaki, action!
Let's shoot.
Fuck!
Bombers!
Japan's Bruce Lee.
What's Lee?
Fuck Bombers!
Fuck Bombers!
Fuck Bombers!
OK, next.
Isn't this a movie?
We've got our movie.
I'm going.
You're amazing.
You died in position.
Thank you for the sound.
We've got the movie.
I did it!
I did it! We've got the movie!
The Fuck Bombers Never Die.
Why Don't You Play in Hell?
"Grand Reopening!"
"Why Don't You Play in Hell?"
We got the movie!
Fuck Bombers!
Fuck Bombers!
Fuck Bombers!
Fuck Bombers!
Fuck Bombers!
Fuck Bombers!
And cut!
English translation by 'unknown'
(many thanks to whoever you are)
Subtitle timing, editing, and
additions for this version by
famitsu1
Let's go!
Now gnash and gnaw
Let's fly!
It's like a tingling bite
Gnash 'em hard
Let's go!
Gnash your teeth hard
Let's go!
Now gnash and gnaw
Let's fly!
Keep 'em nice, Ga-Ga-Ga
with Gi-Gi-Gi!
Keep 'em shiny and clean!
"Gnaw with Ga-Ga-Ga!"
Tough teeth!
My world changed that day.
Until then I was just a movie buff.
Action!
As usual I was making a movie
that day
with a raw egg fight.
We weren't your regular
movie buffs.
The Fuck Bombers
were the craziest in Japan.
It was then
I sensed something unsettling.
And...
I met him.
I ran to look.
Look at them! They're crazy!
Awesome!
Both Miki and Tanigawa
got ready to shoot.
That's when he noticed.
Stop!
What's up?
- We're filming.
- Don't!
You guys are cool! Keep going!
Miki.
Leave dolly shots to me!
Tanigawa.
I pig out and do hand-held shots!
See?
- No, damn it!
- Cool.
Lay off!
Roll!
Remember? You're fighting them!
Come on, get the
testosterone pumping!
Who's the clown?
Beats me!
That's it.
Keep off me!
You guys too! Give me a glare.
And you too. I want more attitude!
Good.
Ready, action!
Move!
Back off!
Yeah!
We've got to get to work! Move!
Where can we go?
Go to school.
Shut up!
Listen to an old man!
You're not my old man!
Damn right!
Can we pass?
Move!
Why Don't You Play in Hell?
What's that?
This?
- It's a camera.
- 8mm.
For movies!
- We get the best action!
- Really?
- We'll shoot more.
- What?
Anything cool!
We became the Fuck Bombers.
Anything cool!
We became the Fuck Bombers.
Cool.
We became the Fuck Bombers.
We became the Fuck Bombers.
Sasaki.
We became the Fuck Bombers.
We became the Fuck Bombers.
- See you!
- Don't get run over.
We became the Fuck Bombers.
- See you!
- Don't get run over.
Watch out!
I'm Hirata. I'm going to
be a filmmaker.
I'm Sasaki.
You're my action star!
I'm Miki, the king of dolly shots!
I'm Tanigawa,
the queen of hand-held shots!
Good knowing ya!
...the weather's fine.
"Muto-gumi Yakuza"
...the weather's fine.
"Muto-gumi Yakuza"
It's still hot with a high of 29.
"Muto-gumi Yakuza"
It's still hot
with a high of 29.
Along the coast...
"MASAKO BAR"
- Is it steady?
- Yes.
And your nuts?
They're OK too.
Thanks for years of service,
Masako.
You look like such a whore.
There's more to this job
than spreading your legs.
Shut up and go, bitch.
Just ignore her, Junko.
Keep it up.
Sorry.
The Kitagawa yakuza are trailing me.
I'm a bit jumpy.
Masako is loose now.
Take it!
Here comes Junko.
Easy, easy!
Junko...
There goes Masako.
Idiot!
Don't stare at them!
"Muto Family"
Gnash your teeth hard
Let's go!
Gnash your teeth hard
Let's go!
It's like a tingling bite
Gnash 'em hard
Let's go!
I'm home!
I'm home!
Your mom kicks ass.
I'm impressed.
What the hell have you done
to our floor?
Clean it up!
"Fukasaku Police"
Whoa, whoa!
Snap out of it!
Call for backup! Come on!
Relax.
Now!
Name, please?
My husband is Boss Taizo Muto.
I'm Shizue.
The wife of a yakuza boss...
Hey, Muto. About Mitsuko,
your daughter.
What about her?
Her ad might get pulled.
She's unrelated!
You think?
Her parents are hell-raisers.
In self defense.
It was excessive.
It was self defense!
She was against 4 men!
That carnage
was in self defense?
Boss Muto!
Detective, you know the Kitagawa
yakuza were after me.
So you say.
Fuck you!
Stay away!
Find Kitagawa!
Where's Muto?
Is he out?
What do you want?
I'll take you on.
It happened
while you were fooling around.
Lucky you weren't home
with your family.
You got saved by your own
horny ass!
Shut up.
It was in self defense.
They might have been hitmen but
your wife was ruthless.
She chased them even though
they were unarmed.
Son of a bitch!
Keep your hands off my husband!
Try to convince me
that it was self defense!
Maybe it was you who set her up.
Motherfucker...
Take me to the Kitagawa's base.
Right now!
Yessir!
It's for you.
What?
Sorry, Boss.
Where are you now?
I'm on Makino street.
Don't come here.
Hide. You understand?
Yessir.
You didn't kill him...
No.
It's just like a movie!
- A yakuza...
- What?
I'm a gangsta so
I'll be yakuza one day.
No way! You have to be
Japan's own action hero.
Japan's Bruce Lee.
Don't blame us.
It went wrong...
What's this?
Sorry.
Cut it out!
We want to make movies.
What?
This is cool.
It sure is!
So cool!
Really?
Can we?
Yeah, go ahead!
But only until I turn
that corner.
At the corner
it's goodbye.
Yes, sir.
Film that.
Cool, a blood trail.
Gnash your teeth hard
Let's go...
It's like a tingling bite
Gnash your teeth hard...
The girl whose smile made her
a household name.
Mitsuko's parents' involvement
in a murder
took her toothpaste ad
off the air.
She's cute but she's history now.
She'll be back!
Because
she's...
She your girlfriend?
G-G-Girlfriend!
Your daughter's ad was canceled.
Cocksucker!
I won't break down!
We're the Fuck Bombers!
Come on!
Hello, Mrs. Ohtani.
You're in time for the movie.
No, thanks. We're here
for a meeting.
Mr. Ono is here.
Make sure you knock.
- Sure.
- See you later.
Not that way!
Go in from the front.
I'd like to have a view.
That I can see from the window.
Where the landscape goes on
forever.
Birds chirping in the morning...
Fuck Bombers!
Mr. Ono, meet our new guy.
A future action star.
I'm Sasaki.
Nice face.
I used to come here as a kid.
You did?
That's how it works.
I don't know how long
this cinema will last.
But you can still come here.
Be sure to make a great movie!
- Thank you!
- Go for it.
Let's shoot.
That's the way.
Come on.
See you, sir!
Make a damn good movie
even if it's only one.
"Kitagawa Yakuza"
Muto is here.
Tell me it's not true.
Boss.
Go! Don't be a chicken!
Action!
Look at that moron!
Moron! Moron!
You punks!
Let them go, Bruce!
I'll fight you!
Wait... Wait a minute...
Wait, wait, wait!
That was exciting.
- You were awesome.
- Was I?
Sure were!
The coming of a Movie God.
That good?
Cool!
Those brats at the park
called me a moron.
It's all for the movie.
It's OK.
You know this shrine?
It makes your wishes come true.
Really?
I'll write one.
Movie God, if I can make
a hell of a movie
I don't mind dying.
It's in your hands now.
Movie God, grant me my wish!
Please, Movie God!
- That'll do it.
- Yeah.
I think he deserves a pillow.
Good night.
Not yet!
It's bedtime.
I'm not sleepy!
It's time for bed.
Let me set the alarm please.
For what time?
Tomorrow morning!
Okay.
Stay put.
We're in for the long haul.
OK, boss.
I like that.
Nice kimono.
Isn't it?
Wear a kimono
when you're determined.
A kimono...
I'm determined.
Wanna cry?
Why cancel her ad?
That girl is everything to me!
Don't you dare cancel it!
Ikegami here.
Put Muto on.
Muto.
It was the Boss
who wanted you dead.
I hated his guts.
I'm taking over Kitagawa yakuza.
I'm phasing out all his
policies.
Listen.
How about a truce?
You play it cool.
I can say the same about you.
Alright.
Lucky nobody died on my side.
Call it a truce and
I'll keep my cool.
Guys.
Boss!
It's goodbye to foreigners' clothes!
Put on kimonos. Kimonos!
All of you!
Boss!
We'll move into a castle!
Yessir!
Go and change.
Hurry up!
Go to the kimono shop.
You're next!
Those sunglasses.
Get something Japanese.
Yessir!
No rings. They don't
match kimonos.
Good.
Now go!
You're up next.
- You.
- Yessir!
- Call me Boss!
- Boss!
Good.
Get rid of the mustache.
Shave it off.
It doesn't suit you.
A nice clean shave. Snip, snip!
Fuck!
Bombers!
Cheers!
On that day we made a vow.
We'd make a great movie.
Fuck Bombers!
Fuck Bombers!
Fuck Bombers!
Gnash your teeth hard
Let's go!
Now gnash and gnaw
Let's fly!
Keep 'em nice, Ga-Ga-Ga
with Gi-Gi-Gi!
That fateful day
wouldn't be for a while.
Guess how long?
About 10 years later
The latest in samurai action.
The Fuck Bombers present
The Blood of Wolves!
Featuring Sasaki,
the latest action star.
He cuts, slices and thrashes!
A Bruce Lee fan
for 10 long years.
After starring in our
Bruce Lee trilogy
Sasaki is ready for the real thing.
A movie to end all
samurai action movies.
Directed by me, Hirata.
The Blood of Wolves!
"Now Showing"
"Closed, thank you for your support"
It's been about 10 years.
What became of the Fuck Bombers?
Have we become boring adults?
That packed out cinema of ours.
It became a deserted ruin.
"We enjoyed serving you"
Let's watch it again.
The latest in samurai action.
The Fuck Bombers presents
The Blood of Wolves!
Featuring Sasaki,
the latest action star.
He cuts, slices and thrashes!
A Bruce Lee fan
for 10 long years.
After starring in our
Bruce Lee trilogy
Sasaki is ready for the real thing.
A movie to end all
samurai action movies.
Directed by me, Hirata.
The Blood of Wolves!
How was that?
It's OK.
He kicks ass, right?
Sure does.
How about my beautiful dolly shots?
Wait! My hand-held shots are better!
I'm the best!
That's right.
You're great.
Let's watch it again.
- That shot's beautiful, Tanigawa.
- I know.
Yeah?
Here comes Sasaki. Here he comes!
He's incredible.
And here he goes again!
Awesome!
Great, Sasaki.
You're incredible.
Who's in that photo?
What is it, Maki?
Who are they?
Us back in high school.
You look much older now!
10 years can do that.
- I can't tell who's who.
- Sure you can, look!
Who is this?
It's Sasaki in the same tracksuit.
His hair's long now.
Who is this then?
It's me! I haven't changed a bit!
Who's this cute one?
Her with the red scarf!
- Who is the slim guy?
- He's fat now.
He's bursting out of his vest.
OK, who is this old man?
The 35mm projectionist.
What's 35mm?
This.
And this is the 35mm film projector.
It's awesome!
Why didn't you use that today?
For your film.
Because it's a video.
It's not a movie?
Right. It's the pilot.
The pilot?
We show it to
potential investors.
So it's not finished yet?
It will be. Right, Sasaki?
Yeah.
When did you make it?
2 years ago.
Maybe 3.
4 to be exact.
Big mouth.
When will you make it?
Tomorrow!
OK, let's go get some beer!
Looking good.
Do you know what's
on your T shirt?
"Please bukkake me."
Is that right?
I don't know.
You're listening to Japan Radio.
I'll play a mega-hit from
10 years ago
from a popular ad!
Here's "Gnash Your Teeth Hard
Let's Go"!
Gnash your teeth hard
Let's go!
Now gnash and gnaw
Let's fly!
- How are you doing?
- Good!
It's goodbye to Junko.
Just like Masako.
Who's Shizue?
Don't ask that!
Thank you for the last 10 years.
Sorry.
Don't hurry.
Easy.
She's coming home after
sacrificing herself for you.
I must go.
There goes Junko.
Idiot!
Don't stare!
Shizue.
Shizue.
This could be a momentous day.
My boys are getting all wired up
down below.
What's Ikegami up to?
They killed one of us
so that means war.
They're provoking us!
It's our turn
to provoke them!
Be quiet!
You have a gun?
I sure do.
Show me.
Show me your guns!
Keep them loaded.
- You like red?
- Yes!
Good! That will look
great in your room.
Something fell.
Something went up.
Set me free!
I don't want to get hit!
Listen to me, baldy!
Cut the fucking rope!
Go set her free!
Let me go!
Now! Hurry up!
Die, fuckers!
Hi, Mom. I'm sorry,
I lost my cell phone.
You idiot, Koji!
Hang up. Now.
Koji...!
Who are you?
Be my boyfriend for the day.
All you have to do is to pretend!
Here.
100,000 yen.
Just for one day.
And the money's yours.
You're Koji?
Yes.
Koji. Lean on me.
And hold my shoulder.
Pick up the receiver.
Then talk.
Hello?
Like this?
That's good. Keep going.
Hello.
Tell me, boys. Am I being rational?
Yes. You're rational.
Hurry back to me, Mitsuko.
That stupid girl!
You're out in 10 days.
10 more days.
Just 10 days.
I noticed something in the yard
the other day.
I've always been impressed
by the blue sky.
I was amazed by it
for some reason.
But today I wasn't impressed by it.
It was weird
so I asked my cellmate
and she said,
"Of course. The sky isn't blue
for your benefit."
She's right. It just
happens to be blue.
Once you're out of here,
I'll impress you.
Mitsuko.
How's the film going?
Good, It'll wrap soon.
Amazing...
It's her film debut!
She held a toothbrush
and said "Tough teeth!"
Showing her shiny teeth.
Gnash your teeth hard
Let's go!
Now gnash and gnaw
Let's fly!
She was so cute.
I knew she'd make a great actress.
She's not only cute...
But like you
she's sexy.
Wonderful...
I want to see the movie.
Even if the sun isn't
out to impress you
this movie...
exists only to impress you.
It's time.
Only 10 more days.
I love you.
I love you too.
Gnash your teeth hard
Let's go!
Boss!
Have you found Mitsuko?
We have a bigger issue here.
Watch your mouth.
What is it?
Ikegami's men are here.
Any casualties?
None so far.
It's a cat!
It's a cat.
Think before you shoot!
Sorry!
What about Mitsuko?
Mitsuko!
Sorry but...
Don't give me stupid excuses!
Find her!
Fuck Ikegami's men!
Find Mitsuko, you idiot!
To the studio.
The studio, Boss?
Where are we going?
Come on!
OK!
Why?
Why is it?
I can't resist her.
All my DNA's fired up.
Fix my strap.
Why?
Why don't I run?
I could.
Who are you?
Do it up.
Listen. I have to visit a man.
OK.
His name is
Mitsuo Yoshimura, OK?
OK.
My one and only lover
Why did you run from me?
I'd follow you anywhere
My one and only lover
Why did you run from me?
I'd follow you anywhere
Cut!
No can do.
I'm begging you, Kinoshita.
I wish I could make it happen, Muto.
But I can't.
- Come on!
- No!
The producer can do anything.
That's not the issue, Muto!
Don't you get it?
Mitsuko is back. She's at home.
So what if you found her?
We're wrapping in 5 days.
Know what that means?
That woman can't act like
my Mitsuko!
I know! Of course Mitsuko
is better.
This girl overacts.
I know that already!
- Well then!
- Listen!
We wrap in 5 days.
Even if Mitsuko came back
it's no good.
It's too late to refilm
the scenes with her.
It's not about Mitsuko.
You know that.
I know your wife is wonderful.
A hell of a woman.
She did 10 years!
It's for her.
She's looking forward to this.
OK, listen to me.
I waited for 1 week!
Because you said that Mitsuko
would do it for her mother.
I stopped everything for 1 week!
We're overbudget because we lost
a whole week.
From one man to another,
what else can I do?
Why are you thinking
about movies now?
It's not the time.
I know that.
Not after that big shootout
with the Kitagawa yakuza.
They raided my place just now.
There was a shootout and carnage.
Have you lost your mind!
No, I'm sane. Completely sane.
That's why I'm here.
You...
Yoshi...
It's Yoshimura!
Mr. Yoshimura!
I'm a postman.
Say it's a delivery!
Sorry.
Mr. Yoshimura,
I have a delivery for you.
Coming.
Wait.
I have a delivery for you.
Mr. Yoshimura.
- Mr. Yoshimura.
- Yes?
Are you Mr. Yoshimura?
How did you know I was here?
I have a package for you.
Mr. Yoshimura.
Yes.
Sign here.
I'm sorry...
Sign for it!
Can I have your signature,
Mr. Yoshimura?
Good, you're OK!
Koji!
Yes!
Come here!
Now!
Leave the shoes on!
Come on, hold the fucker still.
Now!
Tighter!
I'm not going to run!
I'm sorry, Mitsuko, I was wrong.
I deserve to die.
I knew you'd find me.
You're being so obedient!
If you're ready to die now
why did you run off
when Dad abducted me?
Forgive me!
Do you have any idea who I am?
I know what you are!
Muto!
An amateur!
I'll show you how to kill
someone for real.
Muto!
And this gun! It's all fake!
Don't bother lighting her, DP!
You're in the way.
Please leave.
The crew prefers working with her
rather than Mitsuko Muto.
Say that again!
She showed her true colors
when she ran away.
She's not a pro!
She just messed us around.
What?
You should leave.
I'll be back.
Say Ah with feeling.
Open up.
Wider.
Gnash your teeth hard
Let's go!
Now gnash and gnaw
Let's fly!
It's like a tingling bite
Gnash your teeth hard
Let's go!
She your girlfriend?
G-G-Girlfriend!
A farewell kiss.
Goodbye.
I'm done, Koji. Let's go.
Yes.
"Ikegami Headquarters"
Gnash your teeth hard
Let's go!
Now gnash and gnaw
Let's fly!
It's like a tingling bite
Gnash your teeth hard
Let's go!
Move swiftly!
Move it!
Get the hell out of my way.
Boss!
Tingling bite!
Boss!
Here're some recent photos
of Muto's daughter.
I can see that.
Muto got her a movie role
but she left.
I know!
That baboon is a hopeless father.
I'd be better!
I could have made her into
a fine actress.
I could've...
Boss...
It's not too late to try!
She was so lively and wonderful.
She made my heart race...!
Snap to it, men!
Which movie do you want to see?
That's sacred! Out!
Paul Newman.
Eugene Shuftan had no
hand-held shots in his film.
Where were his dolly shots?
OK, I'm Tom Cruise.
Let's quit.
- What?
- Let's quit.
Quit what?
How long are we going to
do this bullshit?
What bullshit?
Everything.
Like what?
This movie fiasco!
What's wrong with movies?
Look where it led us!
- You'd quit?
- Yes.
- After 10 years?
- Yes.
- You can't do that!
- I will.
- Hell no.
- Yes!
What's kept us going?
- Passion!
- Love.
- And...
- What?
- Fortitude.
- Ambition.
- And so on.
- No!
And so on...
And on and on...
It never ends!
You want an end?
Yes, fuck the next Bruce Lee!
I'm almost 30!
In 2 years.
I was already too old
for this at 25.
The never-ending
rite of passage.
Stay 17 as long as you can.
- How boring.
- Sasaki.
What if today is
the day we've waited for?
The same old bullshit!
Same old, same old!
Show me a sign
if today is the day!
No. Only God can.
What God?
The Movie God.
When did God say this was the day?
I don't know but
I'm always praying!
"Help me make
a great movie."
Then I'll happily die or be murdered.
I'm always praying for that day!
When will it come?
When it comes!
- So not today.
- It may be today!
That's nonsense.
Go on and keep going.
That's what you do!
Count me out.
You'll upset the Movie God!
Let him be upset!
We're the Fuck Bombers!
Where is your suit?
- I've got work.
- A part-timer for life!
Even that's better!
Stop it!
You taught us how to fight!
What if I taught you?
It's your fault.
I did you a favor!
I've had enough of you!
10 years and you're still
making amateur movies.
And your cameras!
They're video!
We're just keeping up the times.
You're impossible. Die!
Only from movies!
Nobody dies that way!
- I will.
- Go ahead!
Only when the day comes!
Movie God, please kill
the poor bastard.
He will when the day comes!
- Got it?
- No!
- Get it?
- No!
This might be the day!
Today?
If today was the day
would you die for me?
For you? Don't be stupid.
Be the last action hero!
I'll only die for myself.
Fuck the last action hero!
I want to make one masterpiece.
Not like those directors
who make any old movie for money
and houses.
Not me.
My masterpiece will be a legend
in film history.
We once believed that bullshit.
Yes, it's bullshit
but it's holy!
Holy bullshit!
Holy bullshit!
Holy bullshit!
I'm going!
Holy bullshit!
He's really gone...
What did he do to you?
We planned to run away
but he left me.
You can't run.
That's defeat.
Now you're preaching to me!
Why sneak around?
If I don't, Dad will kill me.
Why is your father after you?
You're my boyfriend for the day
so start acting like one.
No more questions.
I'm returning this.
Keep it.
- I don't want it.
- Why not?
I've never met
a woman like you, Mitsuko.
That farewell kiss of yours
was so cool.
That was a first.
Uh-huh.
I don't want the money.
Please pretend to be my girl
for the day.
Please.
Aren't you afraid of me?
I am!
So if I got scared and ran off
make me swallow glass.
You're just saying it.
I won't run off.
Until daybreak
let me be your...
pretend boyfriend.
What now?
Mitsuko, you're from
the toothpaste ad.
Gnash your teeth hard
Let's go!
Now gnash and gnaw
Let's fly!
Same name.
That's right.
What's going on?
Looks like they got us.
Back off!
"Ikegami Yakuza"
He heard that the Muto yakuza
are on their way.
Right?
Yes.
Kill them!
Right!
Kill on arrival!
Kill on arrival!
Kill!
Get the girl!
Men, take her from that bastard.
Bring her to me!
Kill! Kill!
What will happen to me?
You will be killed.
Because you fucked
the boss's daughter.
- I didn't.
- You did.
- No!
- Wrong.
You snatched a movie star
from the set.
Why would you think it's OK?
It's 5:10 now.
You'll be dead before nightfall.
Take it like a man.
Help me!
Show us how manly you are.
Boss!
- The cops?
- They left.
Alright.
- They want to see you.
- Later.
This is an emergency.
We'll make a movie unit.
Why now?
I know, I know!
I know what you want to say.
But just think about it.
The reason we are in this gang today
and doing what we're doing
is because my wife sacrificed herself
to protect me.
Right.
Shota.
Suppose you killed Ikegami
for me.
You'd have to go to jail.
Leaving your wife and kids
to starve.
Would I leave them in misery?
- No.
- Of course not!
Mitsuru!
I'd make sure your woman had
a decent life too!
That's a yakuza's compassion.
Right, Boss!
You agree, Sanada?
Yes.
Maybe it's crazy to
shoot a movie now.
I'm no idiot you know.
But a woman
sacrificed herself for us.
She'll be out in 10 days.
The thought of seeing her
girl's movie got her through.
We'll show it on
the silver screen.
For her to see!
See what I mean?
Yes.
Do you?
I know you do.
Does it hurt?
A little.
Do you agree?
A little.
Atta boy, you're a real yakuza.
Movie companies would be reluctant
to deal with us now.
So we should do it ourselves.
Let's make a movie as a token
of appreciation!
Yes, Boss.
But Boss... we're yakuza.
I hear you.
I would rather not do it
if I had a choice.
But
we can't avoid it just like we
can't avoid yakuza wars.
Boss, maybe we can film a raid!
Go on.
We can kill 2 birds with one stone!
It's better than
filming at a studio.
We can fuck over
the Ikegami yakuza
and the movie industry.
You crazy motherfucker.
Muto.
You found her!
Yes, with the guy.
The one who ran off with her.
We're on our way.
Name?
Hey, what's your name?
Koji Hashimoto.
It's Koji Hashimoto.
Yes, we took his ID.
You've got the wrong man...
Bring them to me now!
They found Mitsuko and her man.
Let's make a movie!
- That's it then.
- Let's make a movie!
And kill the enemy!
- Make a great movie.
- Right.
You can say no.
We'll do it.
I'm in, Boss.
You win.
Good. First let's clean up.
I've seen some wimps in my time.
But they weren't as wimpy as you.
A real man would confess to
screwing the Boss's daughter.
You must have expected this.
It's time you owned up.
Be brave, Koji.
They're going nowhere.
They will soon.
He's too hotheaded to leave it
at that.
But they're happily cleaning.
You idiot. You want to become
a good cop?
Yes.
Then look beneath the surface.
Right.
Got it?
They know we're staking them out.
If they planned to attack
the enemy's base
would they make that obvious to us?
Now I'm catching on.
Right?
It's all a show.
A real man would
endure the pain and sing!
Yes.
Boss! Boss!
Are you OK? You're sweating!
I'm fine.
Muto's late.
He used to be more gutsy.
I have the same dream
in bad times.
Mitsuko appears in my dream.
How could she happily dance
in that bloodbath?
The dream leaves me
feeling weird.
It tingles!
That's right.
I couldn't help clapping my hands.
Bravo!
Where's Mom?
I don't know.
She's alive.
Of course!
My Mom's way too tough for
you guys!
I saw your ad.
My ad?
Yes.
Was I good?
Not bad.
Will you guys come back
for revenge?
Definitely.
Will you be doing this
when I'm an adult?
We've got a score to settle.
I'll be an actress by then.
Come see me and
I'll give you my autograph.
That's swell.
Listen, I'm losing
a lot of blood.
Can you call the hospital
so I can live to get your autograph?
I don't want to make your house
any messier.
Loser. Make sure you
send a cleaning service.
Hello.
The Muto residence.
I've got an injured man here
and lots of bodies.
Now get up and hit the road!
Show your teeth and smile
like a man!
Gnash your teeth hard
Let's go!
- Gnash your teeth, let's go!
- Boss.
Are you OK?
Yes.
Get your dirty hands off me!
Move it!
Your face can't be bruised
for a month.
I've had enough!
I hated it!
All those local TV ads for 10 years!
I'm 20! No more bit roles!
I want to be the star!
And it has to be a kick-ass role!
Not like that dumb movie!
It was going to wrap in 10 days!
10 goddamn days!
10 days and you could have
gone anywhere with this loser.
10 days! Only 10 days!
You could've endured it!
It was just 10 more days!
Give him some tea.
Tea, come on.
Why did you run?
Was this pathetic man so good?
It's him!
He's the filmmaker.
I told you about him!
On your feet!
He said Mom wouldn't want to
see me in a dumbass movie!
He asked me to wait for his
masterpiece!
So we ran off.
Mitsuru.
Call film rentals.
We're shooting!
Lights... or fixtures?
Am I right?
Fixtures!
Camera and film!
Get them ready!
Detective!
What the hell...?
It's a big truck!
Is it loading bombs?
What's that?
I know! It's movie equipment.
See the lights?
And the intre, which is...
Don't be stupid!
These are arms for a raid.
Arms...?
How much do you need?
I eat breakfast with a whore.
We make out all night
and eat in the hotel cafe
or a cheap drive-in diner.
That's only with whores I know well.
It's not much of a treat.
I eat lunch with my lover.
She's my favorite lover.
But I only eat lunch with her
not dinner.
The woman who eats dinner with me
goes to the grave with me.
So she gets to wine and dine.
Would you prefer
what I spend on breakfast,
lunch or dinner?
The dinner money...
Coffee.
I have no idea how much
your movie will cost.
Only you know that.
How much?
If it's within my breakfast budget
it's small change to me
so I'll let you be.
For my lunch money, I'd expect
to have an opinion.
I'd treat you like my lover.
For the price of my dinner
it's a different story.
I'd scrutinize every detail.
I'll have my say about everything.
It's a large sum.
At the dinner table,
I'd treat you like family.
What will it be?
Breakfast.
Breakfast it is.
Oh.
Breakfast is good.
I fooled you!
Is this for the whore?
Can she make this in a night?
Who deserves this much money?
A whore, a lover or a wife?
If you take the money and run
you're dead.
Or if you don't complete it.
You screw up in any way
I will kill you.
Okay?
"Filmmaking 101"
Director! Come here!
Yes.
How fat should the film be?
About this fat.
- Boss.
- The film's this fat.
Director!
I think this is the HMI.
Is this good?
It's good. It's particularly good.
How many do you want?
Three.
Get 3 of them!
Make it 4.
Sorry, make it 4!
Director!
We have 3 cameras.
Which one should we use?
Director!
Quick!
Check their moves.
Which is the record button?
How close do I get with this?
Wait...
Mitsuko, help.
I can't do this...
He's escaped!
Director!
Stop running!
Where are you going?
Jesus Christ!
Dear Movie God,
Help me make a great movie.
Call me, Hirata.
This is it!
This is it! This is it!
This is it!
Don't worry. Sasaki will come back.
Hit me with another one.
A girl will cheer you up.
She's here.
Right there.
Did Sasaki mean that?
Yes, he was serious.
Are we finished?
I hope he comes back.
Hirata is no help...
The breeze and moonlight make the
perfect setting for a couple.
But the man is busy trying
to impress.
Hirata, it's your phone.
Answer it for me.
Hello? You're coming over?
Who is it?
- He's coming.
- Whatever.
Hello?
Phase 2. He's hoping to make a
move tonight.
It's time.
Maybe not! What's the rush?
Hurry!
With all that scheming, he can't
enjoy the romance.
But she can enjoy
every moment of it.
Coffee.
Oh, I'd love to just surrender to
the sweet night.
He wants it, but he can't give in.
I wish I could film Sasaki
with 35mm.
On a movie screen...
- That's the way!
- Great.
He needs to be alert.
The first kiss is so natural
that she's swept away.
But when his lips brush hers,
it's intentional.
Men are never spontaneous.
It appears spontaneous to her
but it's all planned and staged.
No man kisses a girl on impulse.
It's what he was after all along!
Are you Hirata?
Over there.
- Are you Hirata?
- Yeah.
- I need a favor.
- Later.
My name is Koji.
- Not yet.
- Come on...
You have to make a movie with me now.
A movie!
What's going on?
I know this is very sudden.
- Who are you?
- My name is Koji.
What do you want?
At the moment
I can't explain everything...
What's wrong?
Sorry.
I won't ask questions.
But I'm an amateur.
That's fine. You'd know...
a lot more than me.
I know nothing about making movies.
Help me!
Only you can help us.
I don't get it.
Neither do I!
Can you tell me?
He really needs to make a movie
so help him.
That's cool.
- Come back tomorrow.
- No, now!
Why?
I don't understand.
You want to make a movie?
Hell yeah, I want to make a movie!
Money's no object.
And it's 35mm.
35mm with money!
Plus I want a cool starring role.
You?
What's wrong with me?
Wait!
It has to be now!
We're on a date.
Bring her along. Right?
Can you tune in
to the Oldies show?
A man's always got to plan
to keep his girl.
Forcing her like I did,
won't work.
All she can say is, "Don't kiss me,
I'm not so easy."
Where does it leave him?
Does wanting a kiss
make him easy?
Is that the Big Dipper?
Yes. Nature made Earth and
men devise romance.
You can kiss me.
You'd better.
It's your chance.
I think you should.
After all men understand nothing.
You know how it is.
A girl and a boy are with a crowd
in the sun.
She feels an urge to
kiss him on the cheek.
There's no scheme.
It's nature at work.
Take the chance.
Do it.
You should take the chance.
Going to a love hotel
or walking in the moonlight
won't do it.
Genuine feelings are more than that.
They can't coax me.
But I actually want to do it.
Follow your heart and kiss
despite the timing.
Stop the car!
Stay back!
Poor boy. This is their
last night together.
He'll die today. Maybe tomorrow.
Oh, I don't want him to die
before the movie is done.
You want this?
Yeah!
Let's kiss later.
- And tonight?
- I have something on.
You sure about it?
Those people?
They look shady. Don't go.
Life's more fun on the
shady side, silly.
You are silly.
I know.
Next time we meet
I'll surrender to your kiss.
Right. See you then.
Promise me.
I promise.
- What now?
- I'll do what I vowed to do!
Make a masterpiece.
Make a damn good movie.
I need my partner for this.
I need your help, bodyguards.
Welcome!
What's this?
We're making a movie!
It's time you gave up!
It's real! They provide
money and actors!
Yeah!
Leave!
Sasaki!
Take him on!
Aye ya, what have you done!
That cost me!
That's hot!
Cut!
That's it. Come on!
Sasaki.
The day has come!
This is it!
I told you the Movie God wouldn't
desert us.
Sasaki, what's this?
I have to replace these!
Mr. Wang!
Here's this month's salary.
He'll make a damn good movie
so I'll pay you the rest later.
Thank you!
Ready, Director?
I've got cocaine too.
Want some?
I... uh... no.
Hide it then!
It's precious.
They're not coming.
Whichever way this goes, their turf
will be ours.
It seems too easy.
Sounds OK to me!
Let me hear you roar!
I can't hear you!
Once more!
Good.
Tonight we rewrite this
organization's history!
I guarantee it will move you.
Tough times make me tougher.
Adversity helps me win!
Tonight God is right here with us.
He's reached down to me
and led me here.
Here's my guardian angel!
No, he's a god!
Director, get up here.
Hirata is his assistant.
What?
Call him Director from now on,
not Koji!
Director!
Director, any wisdom to share?
Let's see...
Look at the top of the hill
and speak to it.
As Mitsuko's boyfriend...
I realized that only he
could make me into a star!
I knew it had to be him
so I left the set, Dad.
I was selfish but
I hope you understand.
Let's make a good movie.
We'll screen it
to welcome Mom back!
Mitsuko.
Yes?
I love you very much.
I love you too, Dad.
OK. Light, camera, action!
One thing.
Is there a script?
Oh, do we need one?
Director.
You have to see how efficient
the boys are now.
Ready, fellas?
Ready? Action!
What's going on?
They're actually yakuza.
They have some issues
with the Ikegami yakuza.
They'll fight to the death
and we'll film around it.
So everybody's fired up for it.
I'm sorry!
Forgive me!
Holy shit, Movie God!
You still love me!
This is what I wanted to do!
Make the most miraculous movie ever!
My camera operators.
Nice knowing you!
- And...
- Yes?
The next Bruce Lee. He's tough!
And you're the yakuza crew?
We're the camera crew.
The lighting crew.
And you are?
The sound crew.
Are you ready?
No, but we'd rather die than fail!
They're ready to die.
I guess they might actually die.
You'd risk your lives.
I appreciate your dedication.
But...
You have a job to do...
Do it right then die!
I have a plan.
I have one too.
- My plan!
- My plan!
- My plan!
- My plan!
My plan!
It became like a drinking party.
There.
- Got it?
- Yes.
Who are you?
Careful.
Let's see how it tilts.
Give me a pan.
OK. The other way.
Good and... stop.
Good. Let's roll.
Camera.
Action!
Roll camera!
Get him!
There's Sasaki!
Let's go again. Roll it!
Great!
What are those cameras?
Roll camera, action?
The Muto yakuza are filming this!
They aren't camera-shy.
They even collapse with style.
It's so stylized!
My men don't make the grade.
Why's that?
I know! We're realists while
they're fantasists!
Realism will lose!
Oh, no!
My boys don't know how to act
in front of a camera.
They'll beat us!
Mitsuko.
Mitsuko!
Mitsuko!
...and that is the demise of the Ikegami yakuza.
Good, huh, Director?
Will she come along?
No! Use your brain.
I can't be killed off
midway through!
But the scene requires you.
Without a screenplay
I won't do it.
That's all-important to a heroine.
Well, Boss?
Can you write one?
Give me 10 seconds.
I've got it!
We'll ask Ikegami to cooperate.
Don't be stupid, son.
As adults they'll get it.
What...?
This is the movie I wanted to make.
Let me try this.
Boss, it's the Muto people.
What?
What's this?
Are you calling to surrender?
Hello, Sir. I'm Hirata.
I'm not with the Muto yakuza.
But we need to talk.
We're shooting a movie
starring Mitsuko.
What?
Explain.
Like I said, we're shooting a movie
with Mitsuko.
- So?
- Trust me?
It's a movie.
Mitsuko?
The one I know?
Gnash your teeth hard
Let's go!
Now gnash and gnaw
Let's fly!
That's her!
And?
We need to talk.
Is Mitsuko there?
Yes. I'll see you soon.
I'll go see him.
We need to coordinate our actions.
Wait a minute, are you doing
a runner?
Not when I'm about to shoot
a masterpiece!
- See you.
- Wait! I'm coming too.
Why?
To keep an eye on him.
Besides women move things along.
I'm coming too!
As director.
Hello. I just called you now.
Hi.
Come in.
Thanks.
You look awfully relaxed, young fella.
But you shouldn't be!
Start explaining.
What now?
You're the bloody yakuza!
I want to make a movie.
You're that kid!
So you're a yakuza now?
No, that'd be stupid.
I want to make a movie.
You're still on about that!
You must make good money.
I'm not like you.
The pursuit of money is
killing Japanese cinema!
I'll make a great movie
for the world to see!
You called us stupid!
OK.
Where is Mitsuko?
Gnash your teeth hard
Let's go!
Now gnash and gnaw,
Let's fly!
Hey, you're the blood-covered yakuza!
It's been ages!
And we want to do it right.
Not like a live sports broadcast.
So we need to choreograph it
with you
to do it right.
Got it?
Yes!
Boss!
Shut up! Camera or not it's the same.
But...
With the camera's rolling.
Right?
You're right.
Okay.
Let's make a damn good movie!
Thank you!
Excuse me, coming through.
They agreed.
You fucking genius!
Unbelievable.
One thing.
No guns.
Only swords!
Japanese style!
How can I say no?
The genius says so.
It's more manly!
That's the way!
Japanese men with swords!
Right?
I did some fast thinking.
We need a script. Give me time!
All right.
Great. I'll write.
I'll write and write.
The script is most important.
While I write, the others
begin training.
The technicians, engineers, operators
and actors.
Hooray to 35mm!
We're almost ready!
Sasaki coordinates the action.
Mitsuko's acting improves.
No tripods!
While the guys practice
with the 35mm equipment.
Darling.
Mitsuko's great.
Yes, Mitsuko is great.
And my draft has countless
revisions
as it gets closer to perfection.
When it can't be improved
anymore we gather around...
This is it!
We're so excited to
to be working on this great movie.
That's right. That's perfect!
But...
We have no time for that.
Let's do it now!
This looks good.
Cameras and lights, all good,
Director.
Okay.
Roll it...
Action.
Say it right!
Sorry.
I want you to play Koji, who
loves Mitsuko.
- Can I?
- Sure.
- I can do that.
- Stand by in the hall.
Ready?
Roll it!
And cut!
Get cover shots.
What's taking so long?
You want to die?
Actors!
I want you to pose
like big, badass yakuza.
Face the enemy
with your swords like this.
Like Bunta Sugawara and
Tetsuya Watari.
Don't forget Ken Takakura!
Spot on!
OK, come on!
Like this?
Bend down.
And glare!
Grit your teeth!
Beautiful! Keep still.
Camera, pan from here.
That's good.
I love you.
Cut it out, you love Mom more.
35mm cameras are heavy.
Cut! Don't move.
Camera, come here.
Come on!
Try a pan from here.
That's good.
Ready for a grand melee?
Guys in the hall?
Ready when you are!
Lights, ready!
Booms, ready!
Cameras, ready!
Actors, ready!
Ready...
Action!
Whoa, cut, cut!
What's wrong?
The lights!
Sorry. I'll get them back on!
Hold it there!
What the fuck!
Let's go again!
Let's try again.
From the hall?
We've covered that so...
You're face to face with
the enemy
and your swords are up!
How's this, bastard?
Like this?
Good, good!
We're ready!
- Sasaki.
- Yeah.
- Miki.
- Yeah.
- Tanigawa.
- OK.
Ready...
Action!
This is our gig. Fuck Bombers!
Good, Sasaki!
Over there Tanigawa!
Miki get that!
Sasaki, use the nunchakus!
We're the Fuck Bombers.
We'd crash to achieve
our dreams.
This is our dream come true.
The Fuck Bombers have
waited for this moment.
Fly, Fuck Bombers!
Fly sky high and never stop!
Follow Mitsuko!
Mitsuko!
Move your ass!
I'm high on cocaine!
It's fucking awesome!
Mitsuko...
Die!
Ikegami.
Wait a minute.
Isn't she your daughter?
That's right.
She's divine...
She's become a beautiful woman.
Yeah.
Looks like we're losing.
I guess we'll perish in the end.
If it's OK...
I want your girl to...
I want her to finish me off!
Dad?
Dad!
Our time was precious...
Roll.
Action.
You know.
I am stupid.
I'll die stupid, too.
I guess I just wanted to
shine once.
In a big way.
Does your mouth sting?
My mouth?
From the glass...
I've never met a sweet man like you.
Who me...?
You know.
I've never had a real kiss.
A kiss?
I've faked a lot of kisses.
But I've never kissed someone
with feeling.
And cut! Cut!
No, not yet.
If I met someone I loved
maybe acting wouldn't be
important to me.
I guess.
Mitsuko!
Mitsuko!
Koji!
Making out in the
middle of carnage!
Koji, sorry I
dragged you into this.
Thank you.
My right hand...
Even if it were attached to my arm
and I'd lived a long life...
I'd never have...
felt as good as I do now.
You shouldn't have been chatting!
Bastard!
Game over.
No fucking way!
Thank you.
Thank you.
Ready.
Action!
Cut!
The sound's good.
Sasaki, get him!
Sasaki.
Ready.
Action!
Miki, Tanigawa, come on!
Go Sasaki!
Get him! Jump!
Circle around them! Come on!
OK, cut. Good job.
You're just like Jackie!
Cool, Jackie!
Good, Sasaki!
Nice! It's peaceful here.
Can you hear Mitsuko...?
It's a gunshot!
A gunshot! A gunshot!
For killing Muto.
I didn't kill him though...
Peace...
You broke the rules!
More to the left!
It's ready!
Push it!
Come on!
Give me a good image!
Die for the camera!
Give me good images!
Die, die, die!
I'm the queen of hand-held shots!
Die, fuckers!
Show me how to die!
Good shot!
Hand-held shots rule!
Ikegami!
It's just like that time.
Gnash your teeth hard
Let's go!
Now gnash and gnaw,
Let's fly!
No girl
compares to you.
Stop right there!
Detective!
Spread out!
Koji!
Drop your sword!
It's not a weapon!
Hey...
Was I OK in the movie?
Did I kick ass...?
Mitsuko!
Mitsuko...?
Let me go!
Let go!
Ikegami!
Dumbass!
- Next.
- Yessir!
Great kick!
Face the camera!
Perfect!
It's a movie! They're
shooting a movie!
The police extras are here!
Sasaki, action!
Let's shoot.
Fuck!
Bombers!
Japan's Bruce Lee.
What's Lee?
Fuck Bombers!
Fuck Bombers!
Fuck Bombers!
OK, next.
Isn't this a movie?
We've got our movie.
I'm going.
You're amazing.
You died in position.
Thank you for the sound.
We've got the movie.
I did it!
I did it! We've got the movie!
The Fuck Bombers Never Die.
Why Don't You Play in Hell?
"Grand Reopening!"
"Why Don't You Play in Hell?"
We got the movie!
Fuck Bombers!
Fuck Bombers!
Fuck Bombers!
Fuck Bombers!
Fuck Bombers!
Fuck Bombers!
And cut!
English translation by 'unknown'
(many thanks to whoever you are)
Subtitle timing, editing, and
additions for this version by
famitsu1