Who Was Phone? (2020) - full transcript
Years after the death of her father, college student Fiona Stephens and her friends struggle to escape the grasp of a masked psychopath, hellbent on their brutal murders.
[phone vibrates]
[phone vibrates]
Who's calling this late?
So annoying.
Hello?
Hello? Who is this?
[phone vibrates]
Hello?
'What are you doing
with my daughter?'
Who was it?
It was your dad.
Shut up!
I'm serious.
My dad's dead.
Then
Who was
[choking]
-Hey, you okay? What happened?
-[brakes squeal]
Uhh-
Dark eyes
Maybe a hat.
Like this?
No, it was more of a
hood and the mask was red.
Are you sure it was a mask?
Of course I'm sure.
Well-
I mean, you said it was dark.
No human face looks
like what I saw.
I never said human.
What do you mean?
Fiona
Tell me about your father.
I never knew him.
He died when I was a baby.
Well, if he died
then how did he call you?
I don't know, maybe it was
somebody pretending to be him?
Do you know what your
father looks like?
Yeah, my mom's got lots
of pictures. He, um...
He was tall.
He had dark hair.
How did he die?
Car accident.
Did they ever recover the body?
I don't know.
Never
recovered
body.
No, I said that I didn't
know, why? Why?
Maybe nothing.
Maybe everything.
Are you going to tell me
what's going on here?
Fiona
I've been researching
abductions.
Human abductions.
Reports of people being
abducted
and then returned.
I don't understand.
Abducted means kidnapped.
They're cinnamons.
No, I
I mean kidnapped by who?
There are implants.
Little sophisticated devices
that can be placed
inside of the cerebellum
to control what person
says and does.
Make them do things.
Things that he or she doesn't
necessarily want to do.
Like, kill a person.
Their technology is so advanced.
What, the...
The government?
No.
You don't believe in that
conspiracy BS, do you?
Then who?
Aliens.
I mean, you said it
yourself, right?
If the door was locked,
how did he get in?
Maybe it wasn't him?
Well
He was phone, wasn't he?
I don't know.
Fiona, your father was
obviously taken.
as many people are
Now his mind is not his own.
Now I ask
Is such a thing even possible?
Yes, it is.
Couldn't it just have been
somebody pretending to be him?
No.
I'm finished.
This is over!
Don't say anything else!
Mom, we were just talking.
Shut it, Fiona!
Okay.
I have the best attorney
on speed dial.
You two will be picking
up trash tomorrow.
Ma'am, your daughter
is not a suspect.
Don't ma'am me!
You don't scare me!
I know my rights.
Mom, stop!
Why don't we leave
you two alone?
You can decide if you
want an attorney present.
-We don't need an attorney.
-Oh, we most certainly will.
Cool.
Alright.
Fiona, if you think
of anything else.
My attorney will be
in touch with you.
Barbara, let's go.
My name is Annie!
Fantastic!
Are you okay?
Is he dead?
I just want to make
sure you're not hurt.
Is Dad dead?
That wasn't your father
on the phone, honey.
That was just someone
playing a mean joke.
You're not answering
my question.
And what were you doing out
last night, anyway?
It is a school night.
It's summer.
And I don't like you spending
the night with your boyfriend.
Premarital sex is wrong.
He's not my boyfriend.
Premarital sex is wrong!
I was born three months
after your wedding!
You were premature.
So you're not going to
answer my question?
You already know the answer.
No, I don't!
I don't know anything.
That's right.
If it wasn't Dad on the phone,
then who was it?
I don't know.
One of your cool new friends?
That's right.
I don't like this new group
you've been running around with.
What ever happened
to your nice friends?
Like Aiden or Brayden or
Phladen?
[papers shuffling]
Hashtag nightmares.
He's been writing her
letters this entire time.
Your dad's a psycho.
Was a psycho.
Is a psycho.
Come on, Stacy.
It's true.
Hey, can I see that?
Hey!
You're on!
"Coming up next"
"the brutal murder of
a local college student."
"Are children safe in campus--"
"The fuck are you doing?"
Turn it off.
What? No, I want to see this.
Turn it off!
Stacy, come on
We've all had enough.
Fine.
Clarence was a good friend.
The best.
We have to get this guy.
What did the police say so far?
I don't know.
They don't know anything.
Hashtag as usual
Man, I want to shoot the police
An email
So they're up to date with
the information that we have.
Man, fuck the police.
You know, they're the only ones
standing in a way
of total anarchy.
I can't believe
you would say that.
What does that mean?
Well, what does it mean, Stacy?
Um Fiona?
We've known each other for
a really long time now.
Whatever you need,
anything at all
I'm going to always
be there, okay?
Aww, thanks Phil.
You're such a good friend.
What's up, losers?
Hey Stacy.
Hey Fiona.
Hey
Shut the hell up, idiot.
[camera shutter clicks]
Hashtag can you be
any more annoying?
Uh, yes.
I think it's cute that you hang
out with your little brother.
Hey, let's get this straight,
I babysit him.
Shut up Steve!
Man, get over there!
[fart]
Did you just shit yourself?
No!
How do you know?
That's right, you don't.
I fart so you smell better.
-What?
-[laughs]
What did you say?
Good one!
Jessica, you've seen pretty much
every horror movie out there.
I guess.
Then you should know what's
going on better than any of us.
Yeah, what is it, nerd girl?
Don't keep us in the dark.
Maybe your pops
is a vampire, Fiona.
Vampires sparkle in daylight.
Did you see him in daylight?
No.
There was a phone
call in The Ring.
Have you seen the
Japanese version?
It's a lot different
from the American--
Gross!
I don't watch remakes.
Hashtag they ruin everything.
Moron!
It wasn't a remake!
So Steve-O, when did you want
to do that photo shoot?
I don't know if you're
hot enough, Stacy.
Whatever.
Check this out.
Ooh!
Sweet rack!
Hashtag nice turd.
Aww, thanks!
Alright, this weekend.
All three of you.
Photo shoot. My hot tub.
Sounds good to me.
Hashtag keep dreaming.
I guess you never really
know your parents.
You just have to believe
what they tell you.
What if we try to
find your father?
How?
[typing]
What is that?
Is-
Is that a dead body?
[gasps]
Impossibru!
-[phone vibrates]
-[screams]
Hello?
'We found him.'
And we're bringing him in now.
You assured me that
I could speak.
'I'm under arrest?'
Hello?
Gentlemen, this is
democracy manifest.
Have a look at the
headlock here.
See the chap here?
Get your hand off my penis!
This is the bloke got
me on the penis, people!
What are you doing
this to me for?
What's the reason?
What's the charge?
Eating a meal?
'A succulent Chinese meal?'
Oh, ah yes!
That's a good headlock, sir.
'Good one.'
And you, sir
Are you waiting to
receive my limp penis?
How dare...?
Take your hands off of me!
Ta ta!
Farewell!
[car door slams]
I was home at 7PM every night.
And I didn't leave
the house after that.
None of this happened.
Detective, why am
I under arrest?
What, I'm a prime
suspect because
somebody pretended to be
me on the telephone?
You aren't the prime
suspect, Mr. Stephens.
Well, then who is?
Mr. Stephens
Let me ask you a question.
Have you ever seen a UFO?
No!
Are you sure?
Of course.
Hey, what is this?
Whether you have or
whether you haven't
it's irrelevant, Mr. Stephens.
Doesn't mean that
they aren't out there.
I'm not so sure what
you're getting at.
Listen
I'm not going to
say it was aliens
But it was aliens.
Aliens.
What about vampires
and werewolves too?
Don't be ridiculous,
Mr. Stephens
Those aren't real.
And aliens are?
Yes.
Mr. Stephens
Why do your wife and daughter
think you're dead?
Look, I'm going to
be honest with you--
Let me stop you there.
Do you know what every
bullshit story starts with?
Be me.
Middle aged stud
meets some crazy broad
with epic jugs.
All my friends say
she was a slut.
But they were right.
Well, I get a call
a month later.
Crazy slut knocked up.
Feels bad, man.
Why didn't you use a condom?
I hate condoms.
I think it feels
better with a condom.
Anyway Mr. Stephens,
let me ask you this.
Why were you speaking with an
accent when we picked you up?
Was I?
Uh, yeah.
I thought it'd be cool.
More menacing.
Yeah, you know what?
It actually was kind of bad ass.
'Yeah, we're checking the
phone records right now.'
We'll nail him on something.
But in the meantime
'You're safe.'
He's not getting out
of here anytime soon.
I want to see him.
Oh, I'm sorry Fiona.
I can't allow that.
He's my father and until today
I didn't even know
that he was alive--
Yeah, and probably the guy who
killed your boyfriend.
It's not going to happen.
Listen, if you want,
I can take him out back
and beat the shit
out of him, but
that's probably the
best I can offer.
[call ends tone]
Hello?
Hello.
Cunt.
How do you open these things?
Tits or GTFO!
Hashtag you're an asshole!
Just do it!
Hashtag pervert!
Hey, stop bitch, you're
gonna get the camera wet!
I feel stupid.
Hashtag I'm a potato
What?
[camera shutter clicks]
No, you guys actually
look pretty decent.
Must not fap!
Idiot.
Uh, can we get this
over with already?
Don't ruin the mood, Fiona!
Come on, let's have
some fun here, baby!
This is the greatest
day of my life.
Yeah, check out my hos.
Um, excuse me?
We can use my hose to
spray water in the air.
Might make for a cool shot.
Yeah, but remember
you don't have to do
anything you don't want to.
[imitating]: You don't have to
do anything you don't want to!
No, I'm just saying!
[imitating]:
No, I'm just saying!
That's pretty funny, Steve.
No it's not, bitch!
How much longer are
we doing this?
[imitating]:
How much longer?
What?
I'm kidding, Fiona, come on now!
Seriously, how much longer?
I don't know, another hour.
Maybe ten?
[laughs]
I wild each it
That meets their naked.
You know, crossing your
arms won't hide an erection.
Oh my God.
Sorry!
Damn, who knew?
Brian's packin'
some serious heat.
Man, get outta here!
No, it's okay!
Look, it's gone.
You're embarrassing me!
Come on, Steve!
Out!
[screams]
[screams]
I hate my life!
I hate my life!
[screams]
I'm gonna run away
and never come back
so you never have
to see me again!
[screams]
Yo! Shut up, moron!
[screams]
I hate you!
[screams]
[grunts]
I hate my life!
I hate you, Steve!
Is this what you want?!
Is this what you want?!
[screams]
[door slam]
Somebody should go check on him.
Whatever, man.
Seriously, somebody
go check on him.
All right, I'll go.
But you girls better still
be naked when I get back.
Hey Brian, you okay in there?
Does your brother
have any enemies?
Come on.
It's Fiona's dad.
My dad's in jail.
No, it wasn't Fiona's father.
He's not going anywhere.
He could, however,
have an accomplice.
An extraterrestrial one.
I wonder who's
going to die next.
Hey, wait a second!
No, no, no.
Could be anyone.
No one really knows how
these life forms operate.
It's probably going
to be the slutty girl.
Wait.
And then, more than
likely, the Oriental.
Can't you protect us?
Yes.
Well, what should we do then?
Listen.
We're going to get
whoever's behind this
no matter what we have to do
or
Or what we have to...
What?
Jet fuel can't melt steel beams.
[phone vibrates]
Who's calling Brian?
Hello.
Hello?
[sinister laughter]
Who is this?
'U mad?'
Who is this?
Hello?
Hello!
Listen you little punk!
I'm going to find you,
no matter where you are
or what you are.
[sinister laughter]
'Good luck!'
'I'm behind seven proxies.'
Seven what?
Seven proxies?
Listen, don't give me
this alien gibberish!
Hello!
Hello!
Hello?
Who was that?
You kids better get home.
Hey guys
Once again, I am looking
for a girlfriend.
But now
I got a chest
I got a six pack
and I am back to tell you
no chest, no sex!
So I am back and I am
looking for a girlfriend.
Alright?
So if you know a
girl who's single
and who can't resist
my sexy body
tag her right now
because I am looking for a girl
to sleep on my body
to feel my chest
and to hold hands with
and have sex with me
Because now,
I got a chest
I got a six pack
and I am looking
for a girlfriend.
[phone vibrates]
Hey you.
Phil, I can't find
anything about this mask.
The thing is, I can't even
remember what I saw anymore.
Everything's a blur.
Well, you were in shock.
I don't think I'd remember
anything either.
[email notification]
'I don't know.'
Huh
'What?'
What is it?
-Phil?
-I'm here.
'Phil, thanks for always
being there for me.'
You're my best
friend, you know.
In fact, you know, I think of
you as more than a friend.
'Uhh...'
Me too.
I also think of you as
more than a friend.
I think of you like a brother.
Have you heard anything
from the police at all?
No.
Nothing.
I hate this. We've got nothing.
Can't they just trace the call?
I hope so.
That's the only lead that they
have, otherwise we're totally--
'Wait a second.'
What?
Holy shit.
'What? What?
What is it?'
Are you in front of your
computer right now?
'Yeah.'
All right, hang on.
'I think we may have a
picture of the killer.'
'Was that the same guy you saw?'
Yeah.
[typing]
'I'm gonna post this
on some forums.'
Maybe someone out
there knows something.
[door slams]
Hey, I gotta go.
I'll call you back, okay?
Okay.
Why aren't you studying?
It's summer.
Good! You have
more time to study.
I'm sorry, dad.
I'm just trying to find out
who killed my friend.
Oh, you want to be detective?
Why not A-tective?
Study first.
Solve murder later.
Less Facebook.
More face in book.
When I was your age, I never
wasted time on Facebook.
You didn't even have Facebook.
I had real book!
[imitating]:
I had real book!
Two friends in two weeks.
One friend, and Steve's
nerdy little brother.
He was sweet.
Hashtag adorable.
[footsteps]
Thanks for the coffee.
My pleasure.
Mmmm
Once you go black,
you don't go back
Mmm.
Because the cream and sugar
hide all the flavor.
I guess this means
one of us is next.
Hashtag I'm too young to die.
I bet Phil's doing this.
He's totally obsessed
with Fiona.
Not a chance, Phil?
He's way too nice of a guy.
Hashtag nice guys finish last.
He's totally in love with Fiona.
I don't really know why.
Well, he better
make his move soon
because Steve seems
to like Fiona too.
And what if Steve-O's
the killer?
I mean, I always thought
he was kind of stupid,
but he is kind of a dick.
Not a chance.
I've known Steve my whole life,
he's harmless.
Then I guess it's one of us.
Or maybe it's Fiona.
How well do any of us
even know her anyway?
I mean, she was the only one
there when Clarence died, right?
Now you sound crazy.
No, hear me out.
She's got her abandonment
issues, her dad up and leaves
and her crazy
overprotective mother.
She was in the tub
when Brian died.
They were all in there.
Exactly.
Look guys, it's not Fiona.
It's not Steve.
It's some deranged psychopath,
and until we figure
out who it is
we have to stick together
and watch each other's backs.
I'll watch your back.
Hey!
Hashtag get a room.
What's the matter, Kerry?
Not interested in a little
trick or treating?
Now I didn't say that.
Whoa... whoa...
Yo, yo, yo, I'm
turnt up in the spot.
My boy, Kerry, and his girl,
Stacy are over here
and Fiona, hey baby girl.
This video is just for you.
Hey, sexy girl.
You know I have your back all
day, baby. All day!
[taser crackling]
So who's tryin to front?
I'll be up all in your ass
In your ass!
In your ass!
What do we got here?
Let's see what this does.
[taser crackling]
Did he just tase himself?
Mm hmm!
Aw shit!
Steve!
Steve!
Here, help me with him.
No babe, I gotta go.
Library's going to close.
Just help me get him up.
No... I'll talk to
you tonight, okay?
Yeah, yeah.
Can't believe you even know
where the library is.
Why's Stacy going
to the library?
[typing]
[typing]
[typing]
[typing]
[typing]
[typing]
[unknown beep]
[screams]
[punches]
[hard hit]
[unknown beep]
Somebody has to know something.
No replies at all?
Nothing serious.
[email notification]
Wait, who's that?
Who's Violet Pepper?
No one.
It's no one.
No, come here, I want to see!
She's just some girl.
She emailed me a few weeks ago.
She's cute!
She's not that cute.
What, are you kidding me?
Elbows too pointy.
6 out of 10 at best.
She would be lucky to
meet a guy like you.
Any girl would.
She's probably a guy,
using fake pictures,
like 90% of the girls
on the Internet.
No, hey wait, if you
look at this link
She has to record
herself saying that.
"The little black dog
jumped over the silver car."
She's real.
Wow.
Hmm...
Just got all these cute
girls contacting you
I'm kind of jealous.
They're not as beautiful as you
Isn't it weird that we
haven't hooked up before?
Why haven't we hooked up before?
[awkward laughter]
Ahh, what's going on in here?
Should we leave?
Where's Stacy? I thought
that she was coming with you.
She is comin', oh yeah!
Easy there, tiger.
Jerk!
Where did you post the picture?
On 4Chan and reddit and a
couple of paranormal sites.
Did anyone reply?
Not yet I don't think.
Checking right now.
[phone vibrates]
Hello.
Hi, hey, hang on a second,
I'm going to put you
on speaker phone.
Okay, we're all here.
Can you say that again?
Yeah so, we had to
let your father go.
Why?
Well, your friend
Brian was killed
while your dad was
in jail, I mean
'He couldn't have done it.'
How do you know that he
wasn't involved somehow?
Listen.
We can't just hold someone
without any evidence.
'But this is a
good thing, right?'
'I mean, your father
couldn't have done it.'
It means your dad's innocent.
Yeah, but now you have no idea
who killed my little brother.
What about the call?
Did you trace the call?
No.
Why not?
'Why can't you trace the call?'
Because we lost
the phone records.
What do you mean, lost?
So...
I accidentally the evidence.
What does that mean?
Yeah, I accidentally
the evidence.
The whole thing.
Listen guys, I, um, I teach
a self-defense class and
I don't necessarily believe
you're in any eminent danger
But...
maybe stop by.
Couldn't hurt, right?
Okay.
Thanks.
I guess.
[call ends tone]
Slut.
Hashtag we're so screwed.
No, we're not.
We'll figure this out.
Promise.
If the police can't do anything,
what can we do?
Oh, there has to be
something missing.
There's gotta be.
[email notification]
Wait, guys.
Check this out.
Holy wall of text, Batman.
Fuck readin' all that, man.
My name is Rav.
I want to meet.
I've been following this case
for the past three years.
I've attached a video.
This killer seems
to target people
with popular videos online.
"Here in my garage, I just
bought this new Lamborghini"
"But you know what I like more
than materialistic things?"
Knowledge.
In fact,
I'm a lot more proud of these
bookshelves I had installed
to hold the 848,331
books that I bought.
I read a book a day
not to show off
but again, it's about
the knowledge.
And the real reason I keep
this Lamborghini here
is that it's a reminder
Oh no.
"A reminder that dreams
are still possible"
Because it wasn't that long ago
I was still sleeping
on my mother's couch
with $25 in my own butt crack
but I don't even think
of it as money anymore.
I think of it as fuel units,
and I use those fuel units.
I use these fuel units
to get mentors.
People like Warren Buffett,
"Steve Jobs, Bill Gates"
and Bill Nye
and with these mentors, you
can follow my 67 step program.
And I'm not saying you
can get here tomorrow
but you can get there
faster than you think
and you can have knowledge
and you can be like me,
here in the Hollywood Hills
and read books with
your Lamborghinis
and drive Lamborghinis
while reading books--
[metal on concrete scrape]
Did he died?
I don't know.
What's all this mother dying
in her sleep stuff?
I always reply.
Yeah, me too.
Me too, thanks.
Wait Fiona, you don't have any
popular videos online, do you?
Just that one of my dogs.
I don't know how many
views it has though.
[chat notification]
Answer it.
Wait
Should we?
Do it, do it.
But this could be anyone.
Just do it.
Do it, Phil.
Do it, buddy, come on,
write back.
[chat notification]
Write back.
What should I write?
Call him a bitch.
Wait, what if this
isn't even the guy?
He has to know something.
He's got to.
No, it's probably a prank
because you were dumb enough
to post it on 4Chan!
I was anonymous.
Hashtag you're never anonymous.
Wait.
I know.
Try this.
[typing]
Maybe we'll get lucky.
[typing]
Play it.
I don't get it.
He's supposed to
say that sentence.
Holy shit.
Turn it off!
Turn it off!
Oh my God.
Stacy.
[chat notification]
[typing]
[chat notification]
What?
[chat notification]
Is that English?
cash mee au-sy-deh?
It's gotta be some kind of code.
Cash. Where do you get cash?
At a bank?
Or an ATM?
Maybe he wants money.
Maybe it's French.
oh-seet, ha-bo-dah
[chat notification]
Outside!
He's outside!
Catch me outside!
But what's "how bo da"?
I don't know.
Well...
Let's not keep him waiting.
[footsteps]
Kerry, wait a second!
Guys?
[chat notification]
[typing]
[chat notification]
[typing]
[chat notification]
[crickets]
Where is he?
Oh, he's gone.
He's scared.
Yeah
You're scared, little man?
Come at me bro!
I will knock you
the fuck out, man!
I'm serious.
I'll do that.
Oh, he's gone.
He's long gone.
Let's get outta here.
Hey Phil
Call me later, okay?
Okay.
[car alarm beeps]
[engine starts]
[shifter moves]
[shifter moves]
Hey, what was his name again?
Rav?
Are you sure this is it?
So which one of you is Phil?
[sad music]
Come on in.
Well obviously, we have a
killer in Lincoln Park.
He's climbing up in people's
windows, snatching them up.
So you all need to hide your
kids, hide your wife
Hide your husband, because he's
killing everybody out here.
Who is he?
A better question might
be, what is he?
From what I've been able to
gather, this is a demon.
It attaches itself to you and
it murders everyone you know.
Your dad? He's not
your dad anymore.
It's a demon.
It's taken over his body.
Why me?
It could happen to any of you.
What happens when
we're all dead?
It just moves on to
the next group of people.
Wait a second. How do
you know all this?
I'm a survivor.
I went into hiding to protect
my friends and family.
Can you kill it?
Yes...
We can.
All of us together.
Why don't you just tell
the police what you know?
You want to tell the police that
a demon is coming after you?
Well, what do you
propose we do then?
Still got your brother's phone?
The police couldn't do it,
what makes you think you can?
[typing]
Do you need help?
I know HTML.
How will that be
useful, exactly?
It's programming.
Not really.
Dumbass.
The police have sophisticated
computer guys these days.
If they couldn't do it,
I doubt that you can--
I'm in!
Really?
How?
He's Indian, bro!
Just got to pull up his, uh,
address and profile picture
which is private, by the way.
Rav for the win.
That's your guy.
Do you know him?
Well, why don't we go say hi?
How inconspicuous do you think
we're going to look in that car?
What do you mean?
This is a stakeout.
I bet that car's crazy loud.
Hell yeah!
There's a bus every 15 minutes.
Let's just go when it's dark
[crickets]
There he is.
[keys jingle on ground]
Everyone know what to do?
Let's do this.
[screams]
That's my biggest fear!
[grunts]
Hold him!
Wait... wait... wait...
Holy water, bitch!
What the hell, man?
He's not burning!
Yeah, no shit.
Who the hell are you guys?
You killed three of our friends!
I didn't kill anybody.
Bullshit, we traced the call.
I didn't kill anybody.
Every single victim got
a call from your phone.
I didn't call anyone.
Who did, then?
I don't know! My phone--
Ooh, dis gon b gud.
My phone was stolen.
Hashtag that's convenient.
I'm serious!
My phone was stolen
a few weeks ago.
Right.
I saw Scream too.
You're going to have to come up
with something better than that!
Okay, wait, wait,
wait, wait... WAIT!
I can prove it.
How?
I just need my tablet.
Easy now, you don't
want to hurt yourself.
The idiot's still
logged into the cloud.
I'm getting all the pictures.
He even took a selfie.
Look.
[gasp]
There's your killer.
Who is that?
Who is that?
[muffled techno music]
Damn girl, look at you, mmm!
Nice.
Show a little respect, jackass.
What did you say?
I said show the lady
a little respect!
Yeah, why don't you mind
your own business, old man!
What?
What did you say?
Steve, stop it!
Your hearing gone, old man?
I said, why don't you
mind your own business?
Whoa, whoa...
Just please,
back off, sir.
Walk away.
I beat the shit out of
guys like you every day!
Say it again!
Say it again!
I'll shove my foot up your ass!
Please, please...
Just back off.
Kick his ass!
[punch]
[hard impacts on bus seats]
Oh my God, stop!
[punches]
Stop it!
I told you not to fuck with me!
Get away!
Oh my God, are you okay?
Bring it.
Bring Amber Lamps.
Hey! Get off my bus!
[laughter]
[muffled techno music
becomes louder]
"Welcome to PeaceFest 2019!"
[crowd partying]
I told you not to fuck with me!
You! That's...
And oh... you!
[crowd arguing and fighting]
We gotta get through this crowd.
How?
-Go go go!
-Ah shit, here we go again.
[crowd fighting]
Hey!
Hey guys!
Rav!
Rav!
Rav!
-Rav!
-Fiona, wait!
Wait up!
Where is he?
I don't know.
What's going on?
Look at this!
Look what you started!
Me? Why me?
Yeah, I saw you on the bus.
You started all this!
No, it wasn't me.
-Well, maybe, but--
-Yeah, you know what?
You and all your friends
can just go piss off!
You go!
[slap]
[SLAP!]
How can you slap?
How can she slap?
How can she slap?
[crowd oohs]
How can you slap
her, you bastard?
[punch]
[Rav whimpering]
How can she slap?
[police sirens]
Oh no.
Fiona.
Hey Fiona!
What?
This isn't over, you know.
What are we supposed to do?
We have new evidence
against your father now.
Let's just get this
stupid class over with
then we'll talk
to Detective George.
This.
Yeah okay.
This is going to suck.
[marker squeaking]
Gun safety.
This
is an unloaded gun.
This is a Glock 50.
40... a Glock 40.
Too Short
50 Cent
All those guys.
They talk about the Glock 40.
Now I am the only one
professional enough
to use the Glock 40.
[gunshot]
[gasps]
You okay?
Everybody okay?
Yeah?
Alright, let's -
Listen up guys.
Listen up.
Shh!
Okay
Accidents happen.
We never play with guns.
Ah...
Safety... gun safety
is always a thing.
Now, I have this other gun.
Can I, can I get that gun?
Don't worry, it's empty.
It's an empty gun, everyone.
-Put it down, man!
-My God, are you okay?
-Somebody help him!
-Call 911... I'm scared!
Oh no!
It's okay.
[students panic]
Relax!
It's empty.
Are you okay?
Perfect, alright listen!
Everybody calm down.
I'm a professional.
Oh boy, I'm losing
some blood in there.
Where are you going?
That idiot can't figure anything
out. There's no way.
Hashtag accidents happen.
Yo man, that was
just getting good!
What are we going to do now?
We can run.
Yeah, because that worked
out so well for Rav.
Wait.
We know where he lives.
Right.
[engine turns off]
[door opens]
I don't get it.
Says we're here.
You must've put the
wrong address in.
I put in the address
you gave me.
It was right, right?
Yeah, it was right.
Hashtag we're in Bumblefuck.
Man, nothing's here.
This place gives me the creeps.
No signal.
Yeah, why would there be signal?
Can't tell if this place
is peaceful or creepy.
Hashtag we're all gonna die.
You never really know
what's going to happen
in a place like this.
Everything seems normal
but places just like
this are exactly where
[choke]
What the fuck is that?
Shit!
Man, I'm dying in this country
ass, fucked up ass town.
Shit flying in my mouth,
the fuck!
I can't see!
Pollen.
Man, let's get the fuck out
of this country mother fucker!
I can't even see.
Yeah, let's bounce.
Wait guys!
Over here.
Come look at this.
Jess, wait!
Seriously?
That bitch is so annoying.
Aw shit, man.
[crickets]
Whoa, this must be it.
Finally.
Are we really going in there?
Hashtag no one can
hear us screaming.
Maybe this isn't
such a good idea.
No. No, we've come this far
already. Let's see this through.
Are you sure?
Might not be safe.
Well, we got a bat.
And golf clubs, right?
Back in the car.
Whatever.
Bat's good enough.
What if he's got a gun?
Wait, are you sure?
I don't know.
[knocks]
Fiona, what are you doing here?
What am I doing here?
You're supposed to be dead!
You can't be here!
What, you ain't gonna
invite us in, bro?
Relax, Steve.
Okay, come on.
Get inside.
Hurry up.
Come on.
Just relax, relax! Calm down!
Don't touch those.
You murder people with
some fancy ass shit.
Hey, they're strictly
for self defense.
Of course.
What do you use to
murder people with then?
I guess I owe you
an explanation.
You think?
Someone's after me, or,
something, maybe.
And it wants nothing
more than to hurt you.
I thought if I left,
you'd be safe.
And it worked.
For 20 years it worked.
Why?
I was young and stupid.
And I offered myself to be
a host for this entity.
-Whatever, man.
-A demon.
I just wanted us to have a
good life. The best life.
But it didn't want me.
My body was too sick and
poisoned from the drugs.
Aww yeah!
[weak slap]
Now you're the one
that it's after.
Cool story, bro.
I don't believe you.
I wish I were making this up.
Why would you make
a deal with a demon?
Yeah.
Haven't you seen like
every movie ever?
I'm paying for the mistakes
I made when I was young.
I'm paying every day.
I just want to make sure
you're not paying for them too.
How did it find me?
-Facebook.
-Dammit!
I told you! I told you to
change your privacy settings.
No one ever listens to me.
You and your privacy settings.
And?
[imitating]: Annnd?
Come on, guys!
Should we leave?
No, it already knows we're here.
The only thing we can
do now is prepare.
[crickets]
Admit it.
I'm right.
About what?
About the privacy thing.
Fiona should've set
her Facebook to private.
They still could have found her.
How?
I don't know.
I don't know this Internet shit.
You just won't admit
it, will you?
Admit what?
That I'm not always wrong.
You're not always right, either.
Hashtag you're an asshole.
Wait, wait, wait...
Go to hell!
Alright, I'll admit it.
Admit what?
You know what.
Say it.
You're not wrong all the time.
Hashtag progress, I guess.
I can't find Phil's post.
I think it got deleted.
[chat notification]
What is that?
It's him.
Son of a bitch!
No no... let's see if
he types anything else.
[chat notification]
You're on the computer.
In other news, water is wet.
[chat notification]
No way.
He can hear us.
How can he hear us?
What's going on?
Hey, what are you doing?
This place is bugged.
No, that's impossible.
Stop, you're going crazy!
He can hear us! He can hear
everything that we're saying!
[chat notification]
Oh, there's cameras in here.
No, not a chance.
How do you know?
[typing]
Whoa.
Wait, h-he's in my computer.
It's in my computer.
Turn it off! Turn it off!
I can't turn it off.
I can't - I can't...
I can't turn it off.
It's not turning off.
Wait.
What do we do? What do we do?
The computer won't turn off!
Can you try to turn
it off, please?
Can you try to turn it off?
Can you try to...?
-What the hell?
-How is he doing this?
He can still see us!
H-how is he doing this?
I'm gonna get Jessica.
He can still see us!
I'm gonna get Jessica.
She'll know what to do.
How is he doing this?
You ruined my life!
You know what?
I'm going to tell you right now!
From her father!
You lyin' no good punks!
I know who this is coming from
Because I've backtraced it!
I know who's emailing
and who's doing it
and you've been reported
to the Cyber Police
and the State Police!
and if you send one more email
or if you screw with my computer
You'll be arrested!
End of conversation!
FROM
HER
FATHER!
See what this is like?
Oh, and another thing...
if you come near my daughter
Guess what?
Consequences will
never be the same!
I wonder what they're
yelling about.
Yeah, I feel like
anyone can break
right through these
weak ass locks.
You okay?
Yeah, I'm fine.
Yeah, you are.
Wait, Steve.
Damn, girl.
You know you want my sting.
Maybe you want mine.
Wait, what?
Ooh, I like this.
My body is ready.
Steve!
Jessica?
You in there?
[grunts]
Yeah, you like that, don't you,
you fucking idiot?
Come on, Steve.
Why would you make
a deal with the devil?
I didn't think I'd
be a good father.
You were right.
I don't even remember
drawing these.
They're terrible.
Yeah, I know.
Fiona
I never wanted to leave
you and your mother.
But you did.
I only did it for your own good.
I may never have been
a father to you
but you never stopped
being my daughter.
Here.
Damn it, woman!
Don't tell nobody about this.
Hashtag about what?
Eww!
I guess I underestimated you.
Hashtag everybody does.
You and your crazy hashtags.
[unknown beep]
What was that?
Stay here!
Kerry?
Fiona?
Yo... yo!
Sorry, man!
What the hell?
[sniffs]
Does that smell like
ASS?
Sorry, man.
That went in my mouth!
That went in my mouth.
Crazy ass white people!
Hashtag triggered.
What?
Nothing.
Did you say hashtag?
No.
[electric buzz]
Hello?
This isn't funny!
Assholes!
[clicks]
[clicks]
[taps on window]
[taps on window]
[shriek]
Dammit!
Fuck this!
[pounding on door]
[pounding on door]
[scream]
[doorknob rattling]
Jessica!
Steve?
Open the door.
Hashtag hold your horses!
[screams]
Jessica!
Jessica!
Jessica Jessica!
What happened?
Fuck.
Where is she?
Did you leave her alone?
Hey, I said no one leaves
no one else alone!
We can beat this demon.
How?
We have to work together.
He only attacks when we're
weak or when we're alone.
He can't beat us
when we're together.
Guys.
Hold on, Fiona, wait! Wait!
- Wait wait wait wait!
-Holy shit!
-Whoa!
Careful Fiona!
Fiona, wait!
Don't touch me!
That's not mine!
It's in your closet!
I've never seen it
before in my life!
He's lying!
Fiona, please!
Back it up, old man.
Fiona, please,
you have to believe me!
Don't listen to him.
Fiona!
Don't touch me!
[sex toy SLAP!]
Whoa, whoa...
What the hell!
[sniff]
God...
[sniff]
D'oh!
[axe thud]
I'm sorry...
One
Two
Three!
[painful grunts]
It's okay.
You're going to be okay.
I'm sorry,
I tried!
I know. You don't have
to say anything.
Don't worry.
I have one thing to tell you.
I
regret
nothing!
[crickets]
[wheels on gravel]
[painful grunt]
God, right in the dick!
[crutch banging]
Fuck!
Goddam car door, son of a bitch!
Son of a bitch!
Glad nobody was
around to see that.
[staggered footsteps]
Still no signal.
Forget the phone, man, we need
to get the hell outta here.
No man, he's waiting
for us out there.
How do you know
he's not here still?
And where the hell's Jessica?
Gone.
She's gone.
Man, shut up!
Hey... hey! Everybody stop!
Everybody calm down.
We should've listened to him.
He was right.
Who?
My dad.
Your father's gone, Fiona.
It's just us.
Now we need you.
Don't check out on us now.
What are we supposed to do?
We need to protect ourselves.
Right! Weapons.
We need weapons.
Your dad has a ton
of shit up in here.
[martial arts whaa!]
Whoa! Let me see those!
We need to get back to the car.
In the dark?
If we take that trail down
there, I think we'll...
What?
-What is it?
-Oh no.
Shit!
What, hey wait, wait, wait!
I have to get her!
You think he's not
waiting for you out there?
What am I supposed to do, Fiona?
I'm the one that he wants.
I'll - I'll go out there
and I'll draw him out.
You get Jessica,
take her to the car.
You watch my back.
I'll be right behind you.
We do this together.
Alright! Let's do this, chums!
Leeeeeroy Jenkins!
Godammit,
he just ran in there.
What are you doing?
You didn't think I'd leave
without you, did you?
He's out here.
I know.
Get back inside!
Not without you.
How're you feeling?
Hashtag been better.
Can you stand?
Yeah, I think so.
[painful shriek]
I can't - I can't!
Just a few steps.
I can't!
[painful sobs]
C'mon babe, you got this.
[painful sobs]
A little more...
Any sign of him?
Nothing.
[pained whimpers]
Just a few more steps, okay?
He's gotta be out
here somewhere.
[unknown beep]
What was that?
I didn't hear anything.
Come on... come on...
You got it.
How does she look?
There's a lot of blood.
I don't like this.
Where the hell is he?
He might've come
back in the house.
[scream]
Yo!
No!
Fiona, run!
Oh, this goddam bullshit.
Fuckin' bugs and shit.
God... fuck!
[running footsteps]
[unknown beep]
[rustling leaves]
Help.
Help!
[twig snapping]
Hey man!
Oh, shit!
You okay, man?
Yeah, yeah
Damn, you okay?
I'll be fine, just put me
in a bag of rice.
Where's Fiona?
I don't know, man, I
think she went that way.
Oh my God!
I'll be fine.
You two, get back to the house.
No!
I'll find Fiona.
I got this.
Be careful!
Fiona!
Fiona!
Fiona!
[snapping branches]
Fiona!
Fiona!
Fiona! Fiona!
Wait, it's me!
We have to go!
He's coming!
Who's coming?
He's out here!
Who's out here?
Your dad?
What? No, not my fucking dad!
Fiona!
Calm down.
Alright, let's just go.
Let's just get out of here.
Alright?
Hey! HEY!
Listen, I'm a cop, remember?
I'm not going to let
anything happen to you!
Now let's go find your dad.
My dad is dead!
That's right, you said that.
Okay.
Let's go find your dead dad.
Jesus!
Fiona!
Wait!
Come on...
Bitch!
Oh, so you're the one
causing all this ruckus!
Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa!
You think you can get to me
before I put a bullet
in your head?
Spoiler alert!
You can't!
CHILL DAWG!
[gunshot]
I just fucking shot myself!
Son of a bitch,
I just shot myself!
[crutch hit]
[engine cranking]
[engine dies]
Piece of shit!
Aww, shit!
Hey man,
you okay?
Mmm...
Look, you're going to be okay.
Just stay here.
Try not to move.
Where's Fiona?
I'm going to go find her.
[engine cranking]
[engine starts]
[engine turns off]
[screams]
[pained grunt]
[grunt]
Fuck you!
Godammit!
I'll fucking kill you!
I'll kill you!
Just do it already!
[gunshot]
Wait!
Wait!
It's a prank!
It's a prank!
What?
Chill, bro.
It's just a prank.
There's a camera guy
right over there.
Whoa, back off!
Back off!
Whoa, chill man!
It's just a prank!
Put the gun down!
It's just a prank!
It's just a prank, bro!
Take it easy!
This was all a prank?
[camera beep]
Yeah.
Yeah, it's for my channel.
Aww man!
I knew I knew you!
I subscribe to his channel!
Come here!
[laughs]
Yup!
Come on.
You're an asshole.
I know.
Alright...
I'm going to get you
back, you know.
I know.
[laughter]
Where'd you get that gun?
[mysterious aircraft noises]
Hell yeah, motherfucker!
Hey Brian, get over here!
What's taking so long?
Hey Fiona.
Hi, baby girl.
Everything's okay.
Don't worry about it.
Everything's okay.
I love you more
than there are grains of sand
on every beach, on every planet
on every galaxy of the universe.
You mean more to me
than golden diamonds
mean to the greediest
burglars.
I hope you enjoy watching
this, baby girl.
I love you.
ey, whatever this is... whatever
this is, it's not right.
What page are you reading?
The page, the words,
they're right there.
There's nothing on there!
There's nothing...
there's no words!
What - what does it mean?
What, the other side?
What does that mean?
Over there.
The other side.
Over there, what?
The other side of the door?
-Is that where?
-Yeah.
Yeah.
Alright. Alright, go, go, go!
Come on.
Come on!
And five
four
three
Fuck, I can't...!
Fuck!
Fuck it, I can't -
I can't fucking--
I can't do this!
I can't -
Fuck it!
We'll do it live!
I'll write it!
We'll do it live!
Fuck it!
Fucking thing sucks!
I really admire his work.
I was psyched when
I got the chance
to work with him
on this project.
But, yeah...
After a while I realized that
everything might
look spontaneous,
but careful planning
goes into each scene.
I didn't realize that until
I became the one doing
all the prep work.
I mean, I scrubbed that garbage
bin for like six hours,
and in the end, he
wouldn't even get in!
So I had to climb in and I got
blamed for breaking the mask
because I let that guy
punch me in the face.
It took me three days to
make that goddam mask!
Three days!
And I didn't even
get a thank you?
That's where it hurts the most.
Don't get me wrong,
I'm not complaining.
I'm just a camera guy,
after all.
I'm not asking for
fame or for money.
All I'm saying is a little
'thank you' once in a while.
What about the garbage bin?
What?
How did you get out
of the garbage bin?
You just disappeared.
How'd you do that?
Oh, it's just this
trick that I learned.
It's very easy.
Let me show you.
Yeah, buddy!
Our video hit two
million views today.
Oh, we're going to
be so rich, bro!
'Did we make the Top Ten?'
'How many do we--?'
[grunting and choking]
Hey...
Hey Mike?
Mike, you there?
Hey Mike!
What?
[phone vibrates]
Who's calling this late?
So annoying.
Hello?
Hello? Who is this?
[phone vibrates]
Hello?
'What are you doing
with my daughter?'
Who was it?
It was your dad.
Shut up!
I'm serious.
My dad's dead.
Then
Who was
[choking]
-Hey, you okay? What happened?
-[brakes squeal]
Uhh-
Dark eyes
Maybe a hat.
Like this?
No, it was more of a
hood and the mask was red.
Are you sure it was a mask?
Of course I'm sure.
Well-
I mean, you said it was dark.
No human face looks
like what I saw.
I never said human.
What do you mean?
Fiona
Tell me about your father.
I never knew him.
He died when I was a baby.
Well, if he died
then how did he call you?
I don't know, maybe it was
somebody pretending to be him?
Do you know what your
father looks like?
Yeah, my mom's got lots
of pictures. He, um...
He was tall.
He had dark hair.
How did he die?
Car accident.
Did they ever recover the body?
I don't know.
Never
recovered
body.
No, I said that I didn't
know, why? Why?
Maybe nothing.
Maybe everything.
Are you going to tell me
what's going on here?
Fiona
I've been researching
abductions.
Human abductions.
Reports of people being
abducted
and then returned.
I don't understand.
Abducted means kidnapped.
They're cinnamons.
No, I
I mean kidnapped by who?
There are implants.
Little sophisticated devices
that can be placed
inside of the cerebellum
to control what person
says and does.
Make them do things.
Things that he or she doesn't
necessarily want to do.
Like, kill a person.
Their technology is so advanced.
What, the...
The government?
No.
You don't believe in that
conspiracy BS, do you?
Then who?
Aliens.
I mean, you said it
yourself, right?
If the door was locked,
how did he get in?
Maybe it wasn't him?
Well
He was phone, wasn't he?
I don't know.
Fiona, your father was
obviously taken.
as many people are
Now his mind is not his own.
Now I ask
Is such a thing even possible?
Yes, it is.
Couldn't it just have been
somebody pretending to be him?
No.
I'm finished.
This is over!
Don't say anything else!
Mom, we were just talking.
Shut it, Fiona!
Okay.
I have the best attorney
on speed dial.
You two will be picking
up trash tomorrow.
Ma'am, your daughter
is not a suspect.
Don't ma'am me!
You don't scare me!
I know my rights.
Mom, stop!
Why don't we leave
you two alone?
You can decide if you
want an attorney present.
-We don't need an attorney.
-Oh, we most certainly will.
Cool.
Alright.
Fiona, if you think
of anything else.
My attorney will be
in touch with you.
Barbara, let's go.
My name is Annie!
Fantastic!
Are you okay?
Is he dead?
I just want to make
sure you're not hurt.
Is Dad dead?
That wasn't your father
on the phone, honey.
That was just someone
playing a mean joke.
You're not answering
my question.
And what were you doing out
last night, anyway?
It is a school night.
It's summer.
And I don't like you spending
the night with your boyfriend.
Premarital sex is wrong.
He's not my boyfriend.
Premarital sex is wrong!
I was born three months
after your wedding!
You were premature.
So you're not going to
answer my question?
You already know the answer.
No, I don't!
I don't know anything.
That's right.
If it wasn't Dad on the phone,
then who was it?
I don't know.
One of your cool new friends?
That's right.
I don't like this new group
you've been running around with.
What ever happened
to your nice friends?
Like Aiden or Brayden or
Phladen?
[papers shuffling]
Hashtag nightmares.
He's been writing her
letters this entire time.
Your dad's a psycho.
Was a psycho.
Is a psycho.
Come on, Stacy.
It's true.
Hey, can I see that?
Hey!
You're on!
"Coming up next"
"the brutal murder of
a local college student."
"Are children safe in campus--"
"The fuck are you doing?"
Turn it off.
What? No, I want to see this.
Turn it off!
Stacy, come on
We've all had enough.
Fine.
Clarence was a good friend.
The best.
We have to get this guy.
What did the police say so far?
I don't know.
They don't know anything.
Hashtag as usual
Man, I want to shoot the police
An email
So they're up to date with
the information that we have.
Man, fuck the police.
You know, they're the only ones
standing in a way
of total anarchy.
I can't believe
you would say that.
What does that mean?
Well, what does it mean, Stacy?
Um Fiona?
We've known each other for
a really long time now.
Whatever you need,
anything at all
I'm going to always
be there, okay?
Aww, thanks Phil.
You're such a good friend.
What's up, losers?
Hey Stacy.
Hey Fiona.
Hey
Shut the hell up, idiot.
[camera shutter clicks]
Hashtag can you be
any more annoying?
Uh, yes.
I think it's cute that you hang
out with your little brother.
Hey, let's get this straight,
I babysit him.
Shut up Steve!
Man, get over there!
[fart]
Did you just shit yourself?
No!
How do you know?
That's right, you don't.
I fart so you smell better.
-What?
-[laughs]
What did you say?
Good one!
Jessica, you've seen pretty much
every horror movie out there.
I guess.
Then you should know what's
going on better than any of us.
Yeah, what is it, nerd girl?
Don't keep us in the dark.
Maybe your pops
is a vampire, Fiona.
Vampires sparkle in daylight.
Did you see him in daylight?
No.
There was a phone
call in The Ring.
Have you seen the
Japanese version?
It's a lot different
from the American--
Gross!
I don't watch remakes.
Hashtag they ruin everything.
Moron!
It wasn't a remake!
So Steve-O, when did you want
to do that photo shoot?
I don't know if you're
hot enough, Stacy.
Whatever.
Check this out.
Ooh!
Sweet rack!
Hashtag nice turd.
Aww, thanks!
Alright, this weekend.
All three of you.
Photo shoot. My hot tub.
Sounds good to me.
Hashtag keep dreaming.
I guess you never really
know your parents.
You just have to believe
what they tell you.
What if we try to
find your father?
How?
[typing]
What is that?
Is-
Is that a dead body?
[gasps]
Impossibru!
-[phone vibrates]
-[screams]
Hello?
'We found him.'
And we're bringing him in now.
You assured me that
I could speak.
'I'm under arrest?'
Hello?
Gentlemen, this is
democracy manifest.
Have a look at the
headlock here.
See the chap here?
Get your hand off my penis!
This is the bloke got
me on the penis, people!
What are you doing
this to me for?
What's the reason?
What's the charge?
Eating a meal?
'A succulent Chinese meal?'
Oh, ah yes!
That's a good headlock, sir.
'Good one.'
And you, sir
Are you waiting to
receive my limp penis?
How dare...?
Take your hands off of me!
Ta ta!
Farewell!
[car door slams]
I was home at 7PM every night.
And I didn't leave
the house after that.
None of this happened.
Detective, why am
I under arrest?
What, I'm a prime
suspect because
somebody pretended to be
me on the telephone?
You aren't the prime
suspect, Mr. Stephens.
Well, then who is?
Mr. Stephens
Let me ask you a question.
Have you ever seen a UFO?
No!
Are you sure?
Of course.
Hey, what is this?
Whether you have or
whether you haven't
it's irrelevant, Mr. Stephens.
Doesn't mean that
they aren't out there.
I'm not so sure what
you're getting at.
Listen
I'm not going to
say it was aliens
But it was aliens.
Aliens.
What about vampires
and werewolves too?
Don't be ridiculous,
Mr. Stephens
Those aren't real.
And aliens are?
Yes.
Mr. Stephens
Why do your wife and daughter
think you're dead?
Look, I'm going to
be honest with you--
Let me stop you there.
Do you know what every
bullshit story starts with?
Be me.
Middle aged stud
meets some crazy broad
with epic jugs.
All my friends say
she was a slut.
But they were right.
Well, I get a call
a month later.
Crazy slut knocked up.
Feels bad, man.
Why didn't you use a condom?
I hate condoms.
I think it feels
better with a condom.
Anyway Mr. Stephens,
let me ask you this.
Why were you speaking with an
accent when we picked you up?
Was I?
Uh, yeah.
I thought it'd be cool.
More menacing.
Yeah, you know what?
It actually was kind of bad ass.
'Yeah, we're checking the
phone records right now.'
We'll nail him on something.
But in the meantime
'You're safe.'
He's not getting out
of here anytime soon.
I want to see him.
Oh, I'm sorry Fiona.
I can't allow that.
He's my father and until today
I didn't even know
that he was alive--
Yeah, and probably the guy who
killed your boyfriend.
It's not going to happen.
Listen, if you want,
I can take him out back
and beat the shit
out of him, but
that's probably the
best I can offer.
[call ends tone]
Hello?
Hello.
Cunt.
How do you open these things?
Tits or GTFO!
Hashtag you're an asshole!
Just do it!
Hashtag pervert!
Hey, stop bitch, you're
gonna get the camera wet!
I feel stupid.
Hashtag I'm a potato
What?
[camera shutter clicks]
No, you guys actually
look pretty decent.
Must not fap!
Idiot.
Uh, can we get this
over with already?
Don't ruin the mood, Fiona!
Come on, let's have
some fun here, baby!
This is the greatest
day of my life.
Yeah, check out my hos.
Um, excuse me?
We can use my hose to
spray water in the air.
Might make for a cool shot.
Yeah, but remember
you don't have to do
anything you don't want to.
[imitating]: You don't have to
do anything you don't want to!
No, I'm just saying!
[imitating]:
No, I'm just saying!
That's pretty funny, Steve.
No it's not, bitch!
How much longer are
we doing this?
[imitating]:
How much longer?
What?
I'm kidding, Fiona, come on now!
Seriously, how much longer?
I don't know, another hour.
Maybe ten?
[laughs]
I wild each it
That meets their naked.
You know, crossing your
arms won't hide an erection.
Oh my God.
Sorry!
Damn, who knew?
Brian's packin'
some serious heat.
Man, get outta here!
No, it's okay!
Look, it's gone.
You're embarrassing me!
Come on, Steve!
Out!
[screams]
[screams]
I hate my life!
I hate my life!
[screams]
I'm gonna run away
and never come back
so you never have
to see me again!
[screams]
Yo! Shut up, moron!
[screams]
I hate you!
[screams]
[grunts]
I hate my life!
I hate you, Steve!
Is this what you want?!
Is this what you want?!
[screams]
[door slam]
Somebody should go check on him.
Whatever, man.
Seriously, somebody
go check on him.
All right, I'll go.
But you girls better still
be naked when I get back.
Hey Brian, you okay in there?
Does your brother
have any enemies?
Come on.
It's Fiona's dad.
My dad's in jail.
No, it wasn't Fiona's father.
He's not going anywhere.
He could, however,
have an accomplice.
An extraterrestrial one.
I wonder who's
going to die next.
Hey, wait a second!
No, no, no.
Could be anyone.
No one really knows how
these life forms operate.
It's probably going
to be the slutty girl.
Wait.
And then, more than
likely, the Oriental.
Can't you protect us?
Yes.
Well, what should we do then?
Listen.
We're going to get
whoever's behind this
no matter what we have to do
or
Or what we have to...
What?
Jet fuel can't melt steel beams.
[phone vibrates]
Who's calling Brian?
Hello.
Hello?
[sinister laughter]
Who is this?
'U mad?'
Who is this?
Hello?
Hello!
Listen you little punk!
I'm going to find you,
no matter where you are
or what you are.
[sinister laughter]
'Good luck!'
'I'm behind seven proxies.'
Seven what?
Seven proxies?
Listen, don't give me
this alien gibberish!
Hello!
Hello!
Hello?
Who was that?
You kids better get home.
Hey guys
Once again, I am looking
for a girlfriend.
But now
I got a chest
I got a six pack
and I am back to tell you
no chest, no sex!
So I am back and I am
looking for a girlfriend.
Alright?
So if you know a
girl who's single
and who can't resist
my sexy body
tag her right now
because I am looking for a girl
to sleep on my body
to feel my chest
and to hold hands with
and have sex with me
Because now,
I got a chest
I got a six pack
and I am looking
for a girlfriend.
[phone vibrates]
Hey you.
Phil, I can't find
anything about this mask.
The thing is, I can't even
remember what I saw anymore.
Everything's a blur.
Well, you were in shock.
I don't think I'd remember
anything either.
[email notification]
'I don't know.'
Huh
'What?'
What is it?
-Phil?
-I'm here.
'Phil, thanks for always
being there for me.'
You're my best
friend, you know.
In fact, you know, I think of
you as more than a friend.
'Uhh...'
Me too.
I also think of you as
more than a friend.
I think of you like a brother.
Have you heard anything
from the police at all?
No.
Nothing.
I hate this. We've got nothing.
Can't they just trace the call?
I hope so.
That's the only lead that they
have, otherwise we're totally--
'Wait a second.'
What?
Holy shit.
'What? What?
What is it?'
Are you in front of your
computer right now?
'Yeah.'
All right, hang on.
'I think we may have a
picture of the killer.'
'Was that the same guy you saw?'
Yeah.
[typing]
'I'm gonna post this
on some forums.'
Maybe someone out
there knows something.
[door slams]
Hey, I gotta go.
I'll call you back, okay?
Okay.
Why aren't you studying?
It's summer.
Good! You have
more time to study.
I'm sorry, dad.
I'm just trying to find out
who killed my friend.
Oh, you want to be detective?
Why not A-tective?
Study first.
Solve murder later.
Less Facebook.
More face in book.
When I was your age, I never
wasted time on Facebook.
You didn't even have Facebook.
I had real book!
[imitating]:
I had real book!
Two friends in two weeks.
One friend, and Steve's
nerdy little brother.
He was sweet.
Hashtag adorable.
[footsteps]
Thanks for the coffee.
My pleasure.
Mmmm
Once you go black,
you don't go back
Mmm.
Because the cream and sugar
hide all the flavor.
I guess this means
one of us is next.
Hashtag I'm too young to die.
I bet Phil's doing this.
He's totally obsessed
with Fiona.
Not a chance, Phil?
He's way too nice of a guy.
Hashtag nice guys finish last.
He's totally in love with Fiona.
I don't really know why.
Well, he better
make his move soon
because Steve seems
to like Fiona too.
And what if Steve-O's
the killer?
I mean, I always thought
he was kind of stupid,
but he is kind of a dick.
Not a chance.
I've known Steve my whole life,
he's harmless.
Then I guess it's one of us.
Or maybe it's Fiona.
How well do any of us
even know her anyway?
I mean, she was the only one
there when Clarence died, right?
Now you sound crazy.
No, hear me out.
She's got her abandonment
issues, her dad up and leaves
and her crazy
overprotective mother.
She was in the tub
when Brian died.
They were all in there.
Exactly.
Look guys, it's not Fiona.
It's not Steve.
It's some deranged psychopath,
and until we figure
out who it is
we have to stick together
and watch each other's backs.
I'll watch your back.
Hey!
Hashtag get a room.
What's the matter, Kerry?
Not interested in a little
trick or treating?
Now I didn't say that.
Whoa... whoa...
Yo, yo, yo, I'm
turnt up in the spot.
My boy, Kerry, and his girl,
Stacy are over here
and Fiona, hey baby girl.
This video is just for you.
Hey, sexy girl.
You know I have your back all
day, baby. All day!
[taser crackling]
So who's tryin to front?
I'll be up all in your ass
In your ass!
In your ass!
What do we got here?
Let's see what this does.
[taser crackling]
Did he just tase himself?
Mm hmm!
Aw shit!
Steve!
Steve!
Here, help me with him.
No babe, I gotta go.
Library's going to close.
Just help me get him up.
No... I'll talk to
you tonight, okay?
Yeah, yeah.
Can't believe you even know
where the library is.
Why's Stacy going
to the library?
[typing]
[typing]
[typing]
[typing]
[typing]
[typing]
[unknown beep]
[screams]
[punches]
[hard hit]
[unknown beep]
Somebody has to know something.
No replies at all?
Nothing serious.
[email notification]
Wait, who's that?
Who's Violet Pepper?
No one.
It's no one.
No, come here, I want to see!
She's just some girl.
She emailed me a few weeks ago.
She's cute!
She's not that cute.
What, are you kidding me?
Elbows too pointy.
6 out of 10 at best.
She would be lucky to
meet a guy like you.
Any girl would.
She's probably a guy,
using fake pictures,
like 90% of the girls
on the Internet.
No, hey wait, if you
look at this link
She has to record
herself saying that.
"The little black dog
jumped over the silver car."
She's real.
Wow.
Hmm...
Just got all these cute
girls contacting you
I'm kind of jealous.
They're not as beautiful as you
Isn't it weird that we
haven't hooked up before?
Why haven't we hooked up before?
[awkward laughter]
Ahh, what's going on in here?
Should we leave?
Where's Stacy? I thought
that she was coming with you.
She is comin', oh yeah!
Easy there, tiger.
Jerk!
Where did you post the picture?
On 4Chan and reddit and a
couple of paranormal sites.
Did anyone reply?
Not yet I don't think.
Checking right now.
[phone vibrates]
Hello.
Hi, hey, hang on a second,
I'm going to put you
on speaker phone.
Okay, we're all here.
Can you say that again?
Yeah so, we had to
let your father go.
Why?
Well, your friend
Brian was killed
while your dad was
in jail, I mean
'He couldn't have done it.'
How do you know that he
wasn't involved somehow?
Listen.
We can't just hold someone
without any evidence.
'But this is a
good thing, right?'
'I mean, your father
couldn't have done it.'
It means your dad's innocent.
Yeah, but now you have no idea
who killed my little brother.
What about the call?
Did you trace the call?
No.
Why not?
'Why can't you trace the call?'
Because we lost
the phone records.
What do you mean, lost?
So...
I accidentally the evidence.
What does that mean?
Yeah, I accidentally
the evidence.
The whole thing.
Listen guys, I, um, I teach
a self-defense class and
I don't necessarily believe
you're in any eminent danger
But...
maybe stop by.
Couldn't hurt, right?
Okay.
Thanks.
I guess.
[call ends tone]
Slut.
Hashtag we're so screwed.
No, we're not.
We'll figure this out.
Promise.
If the police can't do anything,
what can we do?
Oh, there has to be
something missing.
There's gotta be.
[email notification]
Wait, guys.
Check this out.
Holy wall of text, Batman.
Fuck readin' all that, man.
My name is Rav.
I want to meet.
I've been following this case
for the past three years.
I've attached a video.
This killer seems
to target people
with popular videos online.
"Here in my garage, I just
bought this new Lamborghini"
"But you know what I like more
than materialistic things?"
Knowledge.
In fact,
I'm a lot more proud of these
bookshelves I had installed
to hold the 848,331
books that I bought.
I read a book a day
not to show off
but again, it's about
the knowledge.
And the real reason I keep
this Lamborghini here
is that it's a reminder
Oh no.
"A reminder that dreams
are still possible"
Because it wasn't that long ago
I was still sleeping
on my mother's couch
with $25 in my own butt crack
but I don't even think
of it as money anymore.
I think of it as fuel units,
and I use those fuel units.
I use these fuel units
to get mentors.
People like Warren Buffett,
"Steve Jobs, Bill Gates"
and Bill Nye
and with these mentors, you
can follow my 67 step program.
And I'm not saying you
can get here tomorrow
but you can get there
faster than you think
and you can have knowledge
and you can be like me,
here in the Hollywood Hills
and read books with
your Lamborghinis
and drive Lamborghinis
while reading books--
[metal on concrete scrape]
Did he died?
I don't know.
What's all this mother dying
in her sleep stuff?
I always reply.
Yeah, me too.
Me too, thanks.
Wait Fiona, you don't have any
popular videos online, do you?
Just that one of my dogs.
I don't know how many
views it has though.
[chat notification]
Answer it.
Wait
Should we?
Do it, do it.
But this could be anyone.
Just do it.
Do it, Phil.
Do it, buddy, come on,
write back.
[chat notification]
Write back.
What should I write?
Call him a bitch.
Wait, what if this
isn't even the guy?
He has to know something.
He's got to.
No, it's probably a prank
because you were dumb enough
to post it on 4Chan!
I was anonymous.
Hashtag you're never anonymous.
Wait.
I know.
Try this.
[typing]
Maybe we'll get lucky.
[typing]
Play it.
I don't get it.
He's supposed to
say that sentence.
Holy shit.
Turn it off!
Turn it off!
Oh my God.
Stacy.
[chat notification]
[typing]
[chat notification]
What?
[chat notification]
Is that English?
cash mee au-sy-deh?
It's gotta be some kind of code.
Cash. Where do you get cash?
At a bank?
Or an ATM?
Maybe he wants money.
Maybe it's French.
oh-seet, ha-bo-dah
[chat notification]
Outside!
He's outside!
Catch me outside!
But what's "how bo da"?
I don't know.
Well...
Let's not keep him waiting.
[footsteps]
Kerry, wait a second!
Guys?
[chat notification]
[typing]
[chat notification]
[typing]
[chat notification]
[crickets]
Where is he?
Oh, he's gone.
He's scared.
Yeah
You're scared, little man?
Come at me bro!
I will knock you
the fuck out, man!
I'm serious.
I'll do that.
Oh, he's gone.
He's long gone.
Let's get outta here.
Hey Phil
Call me later, okay?
Okay.
[car alarm beeps]
[engine starts]
[shifter moves]
[shifter moves]
Hey, what was his name again?
Rav?
Are you sure this is it?
So which one of you is Phil?
[sad music]
Come on in.
Well obviously, we have a
killer in Lincoln Park.
He's climbing up in people's
windows, snatching them up.
So you all need to hide your
kids, hide your wife
Hide your husband, because he's
killing everybody out here.
Who is he?
A better question might
be, what is he?
From what I've been able to
gather, this is a demon.
It attaches itself to you and
it murders everyone you know.
Your dad? He's not
your dad anymore.
It's a demon.
It's taken over his body.
Why me?
It could happen to any of you.
What happens when
we're all dead?
It just moves on to
the next group of people.
Wait a second. How do
you know all this?
I'm a survivor.
I went into hiding to protect
my friends and family.
Can you kill it?
Yes...
We can.
All of us together.
Why don't you just tell
the police what you know?
You want to tell the police that
a demon is coming after you?
Well, what do you
propose we do then?
Still got your brother's phone?
The police couldn't do it,
what makes you think you can?
[typing]
Do you need help?
I know HTML.
How will that be
useful, exactly?
It's programming.
Not really.
Dumbass.
The police have sophisticated
computer guys these days.
If they couldn't do it,
I doubt that you can--
I'm in!
Really?
How?
He's Indian, bro!
Just got to pull up his, uh,
address and profile picture
which is private, by the way.
Rav for the win.
That's your guy.
Do you know him?
Well, why don't we go say hi?
How inconspicuous do you think
we're going to look in that car?
What do you mean?
This is a stakeout.
I bet that car's crazy loud.
Hell yeah!
There's a bus every 15 minutes.
Let's just go when it's dark
[crickets]
There he is.
[keys jingle on ground]
Everyone know what to do?
Let's do this.
[screams]
That's my biggest fear!
[grunts]
Hold him!
Wait... wait... wait...
Holy water, bitch!
What the hell, man?
He's not burning!
Yeah, no shit.
Who the hell are you guys?
You killed three of our friends!
I didn't kill anybody.
Bullshit, we traced the call.
I didn't kill anybody.
Every single victim got
a call from your phone.
I didn't call anyone.
Who did, then?
I don't know! My phone--
Ooh, dis gon b gud.
My phone was stolen.
Hashtag that's convenient.
I'm serious!
My phone was stolen
a few weeks ago.
Right.
I saw Scream too.
You're going to have to come up
with something better than that!
Okay, wait, wait,
wait, wait... WAIT!
I can prove it.
How?
I just need my tablet.
Easy now, you don't
want to hurt yourself.
The idiot's still
logged into the cloud.
I'm getting all the pictures.
He even took a selfie.
Look.
[gasp]
There's your killer.
Who is that?
Who is that?
[muffled techno music]
Damn girl, look at you, mmm!
Nice.
Show a little respect, jackass.
What did you say?
I said show the lady
a little respect!
Yeah, why don't you mind
your own business, old man!
What?
What did you say?
Steve, stop it!
Your hearing gone, old man?
I said, why don't you
mind your own business?
Whoa, whoa...
Just please,
back off, sir.
Walk away.
I beat the shit out of
guys like you every day!
Say it again!
Say it again!
I'll shove my foot up your ass!
Please, please...
Just back off.
Kick his ass!
[punch]
[hard impacts on bus seats]
Oh my God, stop!
[punches]
Stop it!
I told you not to fuck with me!
Get away!
Oh my God, are you okay?
Bring it.
Bring Amber Lamps.
Hey! Get off my bus!
[laughter]
[muffled techno music
becomes louder]
"Welcome to PeaceFest 2019!"
[crowd partying]
I told you not to fuck with me!
You! That's...
And oh... you!
[crowd arguing and fighting]
We gotta get through this crowd.
How?
-Go go go!
-Ah shit, here we go again.
[crowd fighting]
Hey!
Hey guys!
Rav!
Rav!
Rav!
-Rav!
-Fiona, wait!
Wait up!
Where is he?
I don't know.
What's going on?
Look at this!
Look what you started!
Me? Why me?
Yeah, I saw you on the bus.
You started all this!
No, it wasn't me.
-Well, maybe, but--
-Yeah, you know what?
You and all your friends
can just go piss off!
You go!
[slap]
[SLAP!]
How can you slap?
How can she slap?
How can she slap?
[crowd oohs]
How can you slap
her, you bastard?
[punch]
[Rav whimpering]
How can she slap?
[police sirens]
Oh no.
Fiona.
Hey Fiona!
What?
This isn't over, you know.
What are we supposed to do?
We have new evidence
against your father now.
Let's just get this
stupid class over with
then we'll talk
to Detective George.
This.
Yeah okay.
This is going to suck.
[marker squeaking]
Gun safety.
This
is an unloaded gun.
This is a Glock 50.
40... a Glock 40.
Too Short
50 Cent
All those guys.
They talk about the Glock 40.
Now I am the only one
professional enough
to use the Glock 40.
[gunshot]
[gasps]
You okay?
Everybody okay?
Yeah?
Alright, let's -
Listen up guys.
Listen up.
Shh!
Okay
Accidents happen.
We never play with guns.
Ah...
Safety... gun safety
is always a thing.
Now, I have this other gun.
Can I, can I get that gun?
Don't worry, it's empty.
It's an empty gun, everyone.
-Put it down, man!
-My God, are you okay?
-Somebody help him!
-Call 911... I'm scared!
Oh no!
It's okay.
[students panic]
Relax!
It's empty.
Are you okay?
Perfect, alright listen!
Everybody calm down.
I'm a professional.
Oh boy, I'm losing
some blood in there.
Where are you going?
That idiot can't figure anything
out. There's no way.
Hashtag accidents happen.
Yo man, that was
just getting good!
What are we going to do now?
We can run.
Yeah, because that worked
out so well for Rav.
Wait.
We know where he lives.
Right.
[engine turns off]
[door opens]
I don't get it.
Says we're here.
You must've put the
wrong address in.
I put in the address
you gave me.
It was right, right?
Yeah, it was right.
Hashtag we're in Bumblefuck.
Man, nothing's here.
This place gives me the creeps.
No signal.
Yeah, why would there be signal?
Can't tell if this place
is peaceful or creepy.
Hashtag we're all gonna die.
You never really know
what's going to happen
in a place like this.
Everything seems normal
but places just like
this are exactly where
[choke]
What the fuck is that?
Shit!
Man, I'm dying in this country
ass, fucked up ass town.
Shit flying in my mouth,
the fuck!
I can't see!
Pollen.
Man, let's get the fuck out
of this country mother fucker!
I can't even see.
Yeah, let's bounce.
Wait guys!
Over here.
Come look at this.
Jess, wait!
Seriously?
That bitch is so annoying.
Aw shit, man.
[crickets]
Whoa, this must be it.
Finally.
Are we really going in there?
Hashtag no one can
hear us screaming.
Maybe this isn't
such a good idea.
No. No, we've come this far
already. Let's see this through.
Are you sure?
Might not be safe.
Well, we got a bat.
And golf clubs, right?
Back in the car.
Whatever.
Bat's good enough.
What if he's got a gun?
Wait, are you sure?
I don't know.
[knocks]
Fiona, what are you doing here?
What am I doing here?
You're supposed to be dead!
You can't be here!
What, you ain't gonna
invite us in, bro?
Relax, Steve.
Okay, come on.
Get inside.
Hurry up.
Come on.
Just relax, relax! Calm down!
Don't touch those.
You murder people with
some fancy ass shit.
Hey, they're strictly
for self defense.
Of course.
What do you use to
murder people with then?
I guess I owe you
an explanation.
You think?
Someone's after me, or,
something, maybe.
And it wants nothing
more than to hurt you.
I thought if I left,
you'd be safe.
And it worked.
For 20 years it worked.
Why?
I was young and stupid.
And I offered myself to be
a host for this entity.
-Whatever, man.
-A demon.
I just wanted us to have a
good life. The best life.
But it didn't want me.
My body was too sick and
poisoned from the drugs.
Aww yeah!
[weak slap]
Now you're the one
that it's after.
Cool story, bro.
I don't believe you.
I wish I were making this up.
Why would you make
a deal with a demon?
Yeah.
Haven't you seen like
every movie ever?
I'm paying for the mistakes
I made when I was young.
I'm paying every day.
I just want to make sure
you're not paying for them too.
How did it find me?
-Facebook.
-Dammit!
I told you! I told you to
change your privacy settings.
No one ever listens to me.
You and your privacy settings.
And?
[imitating]: Annnd?
Come on, guys!
Should we leave?
No, it already knows we're here.
The only thing we can
do now is prepare.
[crickets]
Admit it.
I'm right.
About what?
About the privacy thing.
Fiona should've set
her Facebook to private.
They still could have found her.
How?
I don't know.
I don't know this Internet shit.
You just won't admit
it, will you?
Admit what?
That I'm not always wrong.
You're not always right, either.
Hashtag you're an asshole.
Wait, wait, wait...
Go to hell!
Alright, I'll admit it.
Admit what?
You know what.
Say it.
You're not wrong all the time.
Hashtag progress, I guess.
I can't find Phil's post.
I think it got deleted.
[chat notification]
What is that?
It's him.
Son of a bitch!
No no... let's see if
he types anything else.
[chat notification]
You're on the computer.
In other news, water is wet.
[chat notification]
No way.
He can hear us.
How can he hear us?
What's going on?
Hey, what are you doing?
This place is bugged.
No, that's impossible.
Stop, you're going crazy!
He can hear us! He can hear
everything that we're saying!
[chat notification]
Oh, there's cameras in here.
No, not a chance.
How do you know?
[typing]
Whoa.
Wait, h-he's in my computer.
It's in my computer.
Turn it off! Turn it off!
I can't turn it off.
I can't - I can't...
I can't turn it off.
It's not turning off.
Wait.
What do we do? What do we do?
The computer won't turn off!
Can you try to turn
it off, please?
Can you try to turn it off?
Can you try to...?
-What the hell?
-How is he doing this?
He can still see us!
H-how is he doing this?
I'm gonna get Jessica.
He can still see us!
I'm gonna get Jessica.
She'll know what to do.
How is he doing this?
You ruined my life!
You know what?
I'm going to tell you right now!
From her father!
You lyin' no good punks!
I know who this is coming from
Because I've backtraced it!
I know who's emailing
and who's doing it
and you've been reported
to the Cyber Police
and the State Police!
and if you send one more email
or if you screw with my computer
You'll be arrested!
End of conversation!
FROM
HER
FATHER!
See what this is like?
Oh, and another thing...
if you come near my daughter
Guess what?
Consequences will
never be the same!
I wonder what they're
yelling about.
Yeah, I feel like
anyone can break
right through these
weak ass locks.
You okay?
Yeah, I'm fine.
Yeah, you are.
Wait, Steve.
Damn, girl.
You know you want my sting.
Maybe you want mine.
Wait, what?
Ooh, I like this.
My body is ready.
Steve!
Jessica?
You in there?
[grunts]
Yeah, you like that, don't you,
you fucking idiot?
Come on, Steve.
Why would you make
a deal with the devil?
I didn't think I'd
be a good father.
You were right.
I don't even remember
drawing these.
They're terrible.
Yeah, I know.
Fiona
I never wanted to leave
you and your mother.
But you did.
I only did it for your own good.
I may never have been
a father to you
but you never stopped
being my daughter.
Here.
Damn it, woman!
Don't tell nobody about this.
Hashtag about what?
Eww!
I guess I underestimated you.
Hashtag everybody does.
You and your crazy hashtags.
[unknown beep]
What was that?
Stay here!
Kerry?
Fiona?
Yo... yo!
Sorry, man!
What the hell?
[sniffs]
Does that smell like
ASS?
Sorry, man.
That went in my mouth!
That went in my mouth.
Crazy ass white people!
Hashtag triggered.
What?
Nothing.
Did you say hashtag?
No.
[electric buzz]
Hello?
This isn't funny!
Assholes!
[clicks]
[clicks]
[taps on window]
[taps on window]
[shriek]
Dammit!
Fuck this!
[pounding on door]
[pounding on door]
[scream]
[doorknob rattling]
Jessica!
Steve?
Open the door.
Hashtag hold your horses!
[screams]
Jessica!
Jessica!
Jessica Jessica!
What happened?
Fuck.
Where is she?
Did you leave her alone?
Hey, I said no one leaves
no one else alone!
We can beat this demon.
How?
We have to work together.
He only attacks when we're
weak or when we're alone.
He can't beat us
when we're together.
Guys.
Hold on, Fiona, wait! Wait!
- Wait wait wait wait!
-Holy shit!
-Whoa!
Careful Fiona!
Fiona, wait!
Don't touch me!
That's not mine!
It's in your closet!
I've never seen it
before in my life!
He's lying!
Fiona, please!
Back it up, old man.
Fiona, please,
you have to believe me!
Don't listen to him.
Fiona!
Don't touch me!
[sex toy SLAP!]
Whoa, whoa...
What the hell!
[sniff]
God...
[sniff]
D'oh!
[axe thud]
I'm sorry...
One
Two
Three!
[painful grunts]
It's okay.
You're going to be okay.
I'm sorry,
I tried!
I know. You don't have
to say anything.
Don't worry.
I have one thing to tell you.
I
regret
nothing!
[crickets]
[wheels on gravel]
[painful grunt]
God, right in the dick!
[crutch banging]
Fuck!
Goddam car door, son of a bitch!
Son of a bitch!
Glad nobody was
around to see that.
[staggered footsteps]
Still no signal.
Forget the phone, man, we need
to get the hell outta here.
No man, he's waiting
for us out there.
How do you know
he's not here still?
And where the hell's Jessica?
Gone.
She's gone.
Man, shut up!
Hey... hey! Everybody stop!
Everybody calm down.
We should've listened to him.
He was right.
Who?
My dad.
Your father's gone, Fiona.
It's just us.
Now we need you.
Don't check out on us now.
What are we supposed to do?
We need to protect ourselves.
Right! Weapons.
We need weapons.
Your dad has a ton
of shit up in here.
[martial arts whaa!]
Whoa! Let me see those!
We need to get back to the car.
In the dark?
If we take that trail down
there, I think we'll...
What?
-What is it?
-Oh no.
Shit!
What, hey wait, wait, wait!
I have to get her!
You think he's not
waiting for you out there?
What am I supposed to do, Fiona?
I'm the one that he wants.
I'll - I'll go out there
and I'll draw him out.
You get Jessica,
take her to the car.
You watch my back.
I'll be right behind you.
We do this together.
Alright! Let's do this, chums!
Leeeeeroy Jenkins!
Godammit,
he just ran in there.
What are you doing?
You didn't think I'd leave
without you, did you?
He's out here.
I know.
Get back inside!
Not without you.
How're you feeling?
Hashtag been better.
Can you stand?
Yeah, I think so.
[painful shriek]
I can't - I can't!
Just a few steps.
I can't!
[painful sobs]
C'mon babe, you got this.
[painful sobs]
A little more...
Any sign of him?
Nothing.
[pained whimpers]
Just a few more steps, okay?
He's gotta be out
here somewhere.
[unknown beep]
What was that?
I didn't hear anything.
Come on... come on...
You got it.
How does she look?
There's a lot of blood.
I don't like this.
Where the hell is he?
He might've come
back in the house.
[scream]
Yo!
No!
Fiona, run!
Oh, this goddam bullshit.
Fuckin' bugs and shit.
God... fuck!
[running footsteps]
[unknown beep]
[rustling leaves]
Help.
Help!
[twig snapping]
Hey man!
Oh, shit!
You okay, man?
Yeah, yeah
Damn, you okay?
I'll be fine, just put me
in a bag of rice.
Where's Fiona?
I don't know, man, I
think she went that way.
Oh my God!
I'll be fine.
You two, get back to the house.
No!
I'll find Fiona.
I got this.
Be careful!
Fiona!
Fiona!
Fiona!
[snapping branches]
Fiona!
Fiona!
Fiona! Fiona!
Wait, it's me!
We have to go!
He's coming!
Who's coming?
He's out here!
Who's out here?
Your dad?
What? No, not my fucking dad!
Fiona!
Calm down.
Alright, let's just go.
Let's just get out of here.
Alright?
Hey! HEY!
Listen, I'm a cop, remember?
I'm not going to let
anything happen to you!
Now let's go find your dad.
My dad is dead!
That's right, you said that.
Okay.
Let's go find your dead dad.
Jesus!
Fiona!
Wait!
Come on...
Bitch!
Oh, so you're the one
causing all this ruckus!
Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa!
You think you can get to me
before I put a bullet
in your head?
Spoiler alert!
You can't!
CHILL DAWG!
[gunshot]
I just fucking shot myself!
Son of a bitch,
I just shot myself!
[crutch hit]
[engine cranking]
[engine dies]
Piece of shit!
Aww, shit!
Hey man,
you okay?
Mmm...
Look, you're going to be okay.
Just stay here.
Try not to move.
Where's Fiona?
I'm going to go find her.
[engine cranking]
[engine starts]
[engine turns off]
[screams]
[pained grunt]
[grunt]
Fuck you!
Godammit!
I'll fucking kill you!
I'll kill you!
Just do it already!
[gunshot]
Wait!
Wait!
It's a prank!
It's a prank!
What?
Chill, bro.
It's just a prank.
There's a camera guy
right over there.
Whoa, back off!
Back off!
Whoa, chill man!
It's just a prank!
Put the gun down!
It's just a prank!
It's just a prank, bro!
Take it easy!
This was all a prank?
[camera beep]
Yeah.
Yeah, it's for my channel.
Aww man!
I knew I knew you!
I subscribe to his channel!
Come here!
[laughs]
Yup!
Come on.
You're an asshole.
I know.
Alright...
I'm going to get you
back, you know.
I know.
[laughter]
Where'd you get that gun?
[mysterious aircraft noises]
Hell yeah, motherfucker!
Hey Brian, get over here!
What's taking so long?
Hey Fiona.
Hi, baby girl.
Everything's okay.
Don't worry about it.
Everything's okay.
I love you more
than there are grains of sand
on every beach, on every planet
on every galaxy of the universe.
You mean more to me
than golden diamonds
mean to the greediest
burglars.
I hope you enjoy watching
this, baby girl.
I love you.
ey, whatever this is... whatever
this is, it's not right.
What page are you reading?
The page, the words,
they're right there.
There's nothing on there!
There's nothing...
there's no words!
What - what does it mean?
What, the other side?
What does that mean?
Over there.
The other side.
Over there, what?
The other side of the door?
-Is that where?
-Yeah.
Yeah.
Alright. Alright, go, go, go!
Come on.
Come on!
And five
four
three
Fuck, I can't...!
Fuck!
Fuck it, I can't -
I can't fucking--
I can't do this!
I can't -
Fuck it!
We'll do it live!
I'll write it!
We'll do it live!
Fuck it!
Fucking thing sucks!
I really admire his work.
I was psyched when
I got the chance
to work with him
on this project.
But, yeah...
After a while I realized that
everything might
look spontaneous,
but careful planning
goes into each scene.
I didn't realize that until
I became the one doing
all the prep work.
I mean, I scrubbed that garbage
bin for like six hours,
and in the end, he
wouldn't even get in!
So I had to climb in and I got
blamed for breaking the mask
because I let that guy
punch me in the face.
It took me three days to
make that goddam mask!
Three days!
And I didn't even
get a thank you?
That's where it hurts the most.
Don't get me wrong,
I'm not complaining.
I'm just a camera guy,
after all.
I'm not asking for
fame or for money.
All I'm saying is a little
'thank you' once in a while.
What about the garbage bin?
What?
How did you get out
of the garbage bin?
You just disappeared.
How'd you do that?
Oh, it's just this
trick that I learned.
It's very easy.
Let me show you.
Yeah, buddy!
Our video hit two
million views today.
Oh, we're going to
be so rich, bro!
'Did we make the Top Ten?'
'How many do we--?'
[grunting and choking]
Hey...
Hey Mike?
Mike, you there?
Hey Mike!
What?