White Men Can't Jump (2023) - full transcript

A remake of the 1992 film about a pair of basketball hustlers who team up to earn extra cash.

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Rebound for Allen.
That was a crucial grab in the third...

Simple rule.
Get the ball to kamal.

This kid's playing
better than Kobe played in high school.

Allen's flying
down the court for the three. It's good!

We got another one, baby!

You've got college scouts,
you've got NBA scouts at his games now.

He's a very talented
young player already.

In case you're not familiar
with greatness,

allow me to make the introduction.

I'm here with senior phenom kamal Allen.

Many consider him to be
the top prospect in the country.

Averaging a double-double
with 26 points per game

and coming off his second consecutive
California state championship.

Along with him is his dad,
the equally famous,

if not infamous, father, Benji Allen.

Great to have you guys on the program.

Thanks, Stan. Great to be here.

And great to be introducing the world
to the next goat, kamal Allen.

- Time to put his name in the mix.
- Thanks for having us.

There's been talk about your father's
involvement in your career.

It seems he's always been there for you.

Man. Yes, sir.

Through thick and thin.

- Hey, that's what fathers do.
- Man.

I'm always going to be there
no matter what.

Have you guys discussed how you're gonna
handle those long NBA seasons?

Well, you know, I haven't missed a game
his whole life. I don't plan to start now.

Especially if he's covering my airfare.

All right. So I made a bet with your dad

that you couldn't hit this shot
sitting down.

So let's see here, Mr. Number one recruit.

You gonna prove me wrong here,
young fella?

- He done stepped in it now.
- I guess so.

Come on, come on.
Show him how we do what we do.

Let's see what you got.

Stay tuned, we'll be right back.

Yo, bro, that's your mans?
That boy's washed.

Let's go. Game point, dog.

You gonna let him disrespect you?

Come on, black man.

Come on. Shit.

- All right. Guard him.
- Come on.

Do it. Whoo!

Don't you ever disrespect me.

- It's game.
- It's win by two.

Not here it's not.

Dude be cheating, dog.

Nah, you just weak, son.
It's all right though. Next time, man.

Next time, papi!

Bro, that move was cool and all,

but I know you seen me wide open
in the corner, right?

Yeah, I saw you.
I was just focused on winning.

We trying to get ready for this
two-on-two tournament we got coming up.

You fucking that up.

Y'all practicing
for a two-on-two tournament?

Nigga, hell yes. What you mean?

Look, grand prize is 25g

plus free entry
into that big-ass tournament in leimert

where the winner gets 500,000.

Come on.

Hey, shit, every hooper I know
is entering that motherfucker.

And if we win a half milli,

maybe speedy can stop fucking
with these chubby-ass white women

that buy him general-release Jordans.

Yeah, whatever, nigga. I like Mildred.
She cool.

All right, look. I love y'all, man.
But what are we, 12?

I ain't playing
in no two-on-two tournament.


So we're at his old high school
playing pickup basketball,

but he too good
for the two-on-two tournament?

Tsk, tsk on this nigga.

A damn shame.

Being able to windmill dunk while working
a minimum wage job and smoking no weed.

That sound like jail. Couldn't be me.

Hey, they letting yoga instructors
in the gym now?

Look, just, uh, stretch out,
play with the oversized ball.

Are you kidding me?

Columbus must think he found
some new shit, huh? We been here though.

We should Rob him. Send a message.

I am down for that.

Why would we... No.

I was testing you.

Fucking stupid.

You guys got next?

Depend on who asking.
If you asking, yeah, we got next.

And then after that it could be you

and ol' boy who mama look like
she gave up on black men.

Well, I would never give up on you guys.

Is that a colonic water?

No, it's, um...
It's actually my 30-day detox program.

You guys wanna try a free sample?

Uh, nah,
I ain't drinking no boo-boo juice.

All right, fellas.

Just to send a message though.

Mm-hmm. I'm thinking about it.

- What the fuck is the point of the ball?
- Stretch out. Just fucking stretch.



Eyes up, eyes up.

Finish, finish, finish.

All right.

How many subscribers you think you up to?

I don't know. Thousand, give or take.

Give or take what? A thousand?



Hey, man, I... I just noticed you're not
getting enough legs underneath your shot.

Are you dehydrated?

Because my detox program
could really take care of that for you.

What the fuck?

Bro, give me the ball back and stop using
that young black kid for clout.

Give me the fucking ball.

You know, I just feel like you could use
some of the attention

that your athleticism attracts
to get your teammates involved.

Instead of taking these shots
that are a little out of your range.

Out of my range?

Come on, bro. Don't do this shit.

Pick a spot, bro.

Hundred bucks you can't make
more shots than me. Best out of five.

Look, obvious that you're
an amazing pickup hoops guy, you know?

I could tell you have a lot of passion.

You got the tattoo of a basketball
with the crown on it. I get it.

But let's not do this, man.
I don't want to take your money.


Let's just do 300.

It's not my dad's money.

Just fuck me, huh?

Right there's good.

That's one.


It's been my spot
since I was 14, gentrifier.

Next time look at the wall. Yeah.

That's three.

Hold on, you're kamal Allen.

Didn't you get arrested your senior year?


- Hey, kamal, you fucking suck!
- Overrated!

Hey, come on, kamal!

Was that guy just a random fan?

Now where'd you end up playing in college?

Three for five.
Not bad, my brother.

Hope you can shoot, sherman oaks.

I grew up in Beverly Hills actually.
Not the super nice part.

Yeah, you know, sometimes I like
to practice shooting off the dribble

'cause it's rare you can catch a shoot
with all these wannabe hardens out here.


You get it. You're a harden.

No offense.

That's two.

You thought I couldn't hang. I get it.

But a shoot-out?


I mean, don't you guys assume
all white dudes can do is shoot?

You know,
there's this old quote that says,

"under pressure,
you don't rise to the occasion.

You sink to the level of your training."


That's four.


So, I prefer venmo or zelle,

but you seem like a cash app guy,
so that's fine.

That was disappointing as fuck.

We ain't never gonna get our reparations
that way, bruh.


Hey, yo!

You left your...

Who the fuck is this guy?

This salon space is hella dope.

I can for sure see you running shit there.

I know.

And look, I'm not trying to be
rentin' a chair in somebody else's spot.

- You know?
- Mm-mmm.

This spot right here
is so close I could literally walk to work

without having to worry about
what gas prices looking like every week.

- That's fire.
- Hey, babe.


Can you... can you back up?

My fault. The zookeepers let you out?

- Shut up.
- Ba...

- Daddy!
- Hey! Come up.

Babe, what's this?

- Oh, Edith got that for drew's birthday.
- Mm-hmm.

He's opening presents already?

Present. I told him he could open one.

Hey. You wanna go with daddy
to get some ice cream?

- Yeah!
- Yeah!

- Yeah, all right now.
- Yeah!

When he come back and he up all night
from that sugar, he's gonna be with you.

It'll be fine. Right?
Say, "don't worry, mommy."

- Don't worry, mommy.
- Don't worry, mommy.

- Oh, babe?
- Hmm?

It's almost the 1st, by the way.

Yep, mm-hmm. I'ma go tomorrow. I forgot.

Mmm. Why don't you just go now
and get your pralines and cream after?

Because everyone don't have a sugar daddy
like you and can go at anytime.

First of all, I'm a pimp.

Second of all, bank is open till 6:00 on
crenshaw so what are you talk...

My bad.

- I'ma go tomorrow. I promise.
- Okay.

- Love you.
- Love you too.

- Say, "bye, auntie Edith."
- Bye, auntie Edith.

"I'm sorry you on welfare."

- I'm sorry you on welfare.
- Bye!

- Why you so fucking nosy?
- I'm just trying to help.

- Okay, okay.
- This is getting crazy with you.

All right. See you later.


Big mooch.

Hey, look, man.

I hate to be this guy, but the boss
is on my head about membership fees.

You know what's more important to a gym
than money?

Watch this.

Susie, you are getting so toned.

Save it, Jeremy.

You're too much for me, woman.

Every gym needs a morale guy.
You're welcome.

You don't even know her old ass!

I'm already breaking protocol
letting you train people up in here

without renting out the court.

I got other spots, bro.
You act like I'm here all the time.

You here four hours a day every day.
Just pay your dues.

It's not right for you to be charging the
working class 34.99 plus initiation fees.

Like, come on.

Pay your fees or go to them other spots.



Next month's due on Thursday too,
if you wanna take care of that.

I live for today, mooch.
Tomorrow's not promised to us poor folks.

Hold on, what the hell you mean
"tomorrow's not promised"?

What you got in that bag?

See, that's why white folks
make me nervous.

You'll shed fat, gain muscle,
and detoxify your whole system

all with the purchase of a 30-day supply.

So what you gotta ask yourselves,
Mikey, angel, flaco,

is do you wanna be the tortoise
or do you wanna be the hare?

Goddamn, j!

Looking good, my brother.

Thanks, teej. You know, my knee
hasn't felt this good since junior year.

Fuck yeah, dude.

What's up, "quesa-dildos," how ya doing?

- Ah, the detox?
- Ah, you know.

You guys ready to ride the brown river
or what?

What'd he say?

You know, one of these days,

you're gonna have to teach me
these breathing exercises, man.

I think they really unlock
next-level mobility in your hips.

Okay, you want the usual?

'Cause I got oxys. I got percs, xanis.

I got some klonopin.

I got some Adderall, ritalin. And I got
some good old-fashion booger-sugar.

Yeah, I'll take the usual, please.
Just put it on my tab.

Yeah, I got you, bro.

Don't take too many of these. Okay?

You take too many of those,

you'll be on Hollywood boulevard
doing tiktok dances without a cell phone.

Also, I got some insider information
for you.

Even though
I probably shouldn't be telling you this

because you getting healthy
is kind of a conflict of interest for me,

but you are my boy.


Let's hear it.

Stem cells.

Two words.

The two words are "stem cells"?

Regenerative medicine, bro.

Are you kidding me? You haven't heard of
this shit? It's gone totally mainstream.

It's, like,
10 g's for a full treatment now.

Rich people love this shit.

Whoadie, listen.
It heals old injuries and new injuries,

rejuvenates your whole body.

It can heal old injuries?

If you're serious
about getting your body in shape

and making a push for the g league,
you need the stem cells, okay?

It will cure your acl for good.

Acls. Plural.


Dude, how do you think Tiger Woods
grew back his leg after they amputated it?

That didn't happen.

Thank you! Yes!

All the way from Asia.

Yo, had to pay resale prices,
but it's all good. It was worth it.


Wait, don't I know you?

Nah, bro.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Aren't you kamal Allen?

Yo, the kamal Allen at my house?

Yo, this is crazy! What happened?

Do people recognize you?
Cool if I get a pic?

Nah, man.

Come on, man. Don't be
all Hollywood on me. It's just a pic.

Boomerang with me, nigga.

- What? What? What?
- Look... yo.

- Fuck did I say, bro?
- What? The fuck.

- Yo, you broke my shit.
- Yeah, put a case on the next one.

Fake-ass dwyane Wade.

So, you can't even take
one goddamn selfie?

That supposed to be part of my job now?

My man, look.

Have you ever thought about therapy?

- You serious?
- That shit changed my life, man.

After I lost cake n' bake.

Did I never tell you about
my cupcake and marijuana shop?

Cake n' bake?
The business that got away sort of thing.

- Cake n' bake.
- Mm-hmm.

- Cake n' bake. Yes.
- That's right.

- I'll look into therapy.
- Great.

Sorry about dude's phone.

Still gonna have to cut your shifts
for the week.


I'm so sorry.

Bobby, you know that I need these shifts.

Hold up.

You're my homey.

So, take a couple of these.
Take the edge off.

You wanna come back for them later or...

Go away.

I will.

I found this salad dressing.

You are going to love it. Okay?
I'll just go whip it up.

Or we could go out to dinner tonight?

We're supposed to be
saving money, remember?

but you've been working so hard.

And I got a few new clients,
and I wanna celebrate.

- One night.
- New clients?

- Yeah.
- Who?

Babe. Let's go to dinner. Come on.

What about soba noodles?
That sounds good.

- No.
- Uh, avocado toast?

- That's easy...
- No. No.

You're the only vegan I know
who can't eat in a vegan restaurant.

It's 'cause
half these veggies are hybrids.


Did I ever tell you just

how much it turns me on
when you talk shit about vegetables?

Joke all you want,

but when I get these stem cells
and start hooping like I'm 19 again,

I'll be the one laughin'.

Stem cells.
Wh... what are you talking about?

Regenerative medicine.

It can heal my acls.

Rich people are obsessed with it.

Rich people? You have an ebt card.

We have an ebt card.

You promised me you were done
trying to play ball.

- Done with the painkillers, the surgery...
- We're ready.

We need a minute.
What the fuck do you need stem cells for?

Do you have an awful disease
that I don't know about,

or is this about you trying
to play basketball? Again.

What if I just want my body to get
healthier instead of breaking down?

Look, I want to try and plan for
the future in a realistic way with you,

but it's really hard to do that
when we're always worried about money

because you're out here
living in a fantasy.

Oh, my god.

Look, I'm just working with my clients.

I'm done with the pills.

I'm not gonna do anything irresponsible.

I got you.

I just can't help but wonder if you'd
be happier moving on from basketball

and finding something
that actually loves you back.

What, like porn?

- My bad.
- Mm-hmm.

God damn! Got them thighs out.

Out here looking like
mailman thee stallion.

Yeah, whatever. Y'all got jokes, huh?

What, y'all didn't get picked?

Y'all still trying to play in
that two-on-two tournament?

With the 25k prize?

We already signed up with my brother.

Didn't he go to jail for trafficking?

That was wanton endangerment.

And that was my brother Keon.
We playing with lamont.

Yeah, lamont used to sell pit bulls
in front of that krispy kreme on king.

That he did.

Then just tell him that
you playing with me now.

I would do that,
but he already paid the fee.

He got that 2,500 like it wasn't anything.

No, he says he's trying to
spend more quality time with me.

It's kind of nice actually.

Plus I thought you gonna
never play in a tournament.

What did he say? He was like,

"my name's kamal.
I don't play no basketball tournament.

Only time I play is
if I get paid in the NBA."

"I'm on the baseline. Windmill dunk."

- "My name's kamal. Give me the ball."
- " Slamma jamma. Kamal."

Look, Bobby cut my shifts.

Want me to cut his brakes?

Bro, what the fuck is wrong with you?

I could make that call.
He know you got a family to feed?

What, you gonna throw a chip at him?

- I'll chip his ass. All right now.
- Bro.

Whatever, man.

I just need a human being who can play
so I can make some money.

Now watch. Watch how I ran pick and roll.

Always kept defenders on my hip.

Way before trae, way before ja morant.
I was ahead of my time. For real.

I feel like Steve Nash and Chris Paul
did that for years.

You're so negative for your age, bro.


Nah. Phil Williamson is
training players here?

Oh. He's super lit.

He's got his own sponsorships,
he went to Duke.

- He even got his own player on 2k.
- I know who Phil Williamson is.

Then you know it's a big deal
he in this weak-ass gym, right?

Why are you trying so hard
to agitate me today, bro?

I'm just saying. You know?

The fuck is this?

Oh, Phil, he booked the court for the day.

And he paid in money.

Not morale or whatever the fuck
you was talking about.

- Hey, yo, what's up, mooch? You good?
- Phil.

- Yes, thanks, man.
- All right, yeah.

Phil Williamson.

You just name-drop yourself?

Jacoby Grant, right?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Played aau with Malachi.

- For sure.
- Hey, yo, Malachi.

Uh, nice to meet you too, Mr. Phil.
Big fan of yours.

- Thanks.
- Yeah.

Yeah, they say Malachi might be
the number one pick next year.

- What's up, bro. That's hard.
- Yeah. Yeah, it's good for business too.

Just signed a lease on a Tesla.

Got invited to the hype house.

My ig's been popping off, bro.

I mean, I got a lot of haters
in the comment section,

but I think it's mostly just white hoopers

who hate to see another white hooper
find his Lane.

You feel me?

We don't talk enough about that, bro.

White on white crime, like,
that's just a disease, man.

- Amen.
- Yeah.

You a trainer?

- Hell nah.
- Play you for the court.

Big dogs versus regular-sized dogs.

Yo, you joking, right?

You wanna put some money on it?

All right.

Come on. Jump.

Hey, watch... pick, pick!

Ball! Ball!


Two minutes, two minutes.
I'm coming right back.

What? Jeremy!

Yo, where's he going?

Parking validated.


Yo, what the fuck was that?

It's fine. Check it up.

Come on.

You know what to do.


You just gonna let him
have the court like that?

The fuck? I think I proved my point.

- Do you?
- Yeah.

How's the knee?

Dude, what do you want?

You stalking me?

It's called Google, bro.

You think you fucking slick, huh?

Showing up to courts
dressed like a dumbass,

acting like you can't hoop when, really,
you played at gonzaga.

Now see, you assumed I couldn't hoop
because I'm white,

- which is incredibly outdated, by the way.
- No, I assumed you couldn't hoop

'cause you walk around
with testicles around your neck, bro.

What up, j! Hey, man,
can we talk about that tab later?

I got you next time, teej.

I know you do, twin.
All right, keep pushin' p.

Look, bro, I came to see

if you wanted to play in a two-on-two
this weekend at venice beach.

We can hustle a few games together to get
the money for the entry fee, all right?

You're joking, right?

Dude, there's a million leagues
I can play in right now.

Tons of opportunities to get scouted.

I'm straight.

You seriously
still trying to play pro ball?

I mean, maybe not the g league but...


What, you don't think I'm good enough?

Nah, you just make so much more sense now.

Yeah? You don't make any sense.

No injuries. You're in good shape.

Why are you still playing pickup?

I'm not one of your poor little black boys
looking for a father figure, all right?

Don't need a coach, don't need a mentor,

and I damn sure don't need a friend.

What I need is for you to show up on time,
stand in a corner and hit some open shots.

Maybe play a little bit of defense.
That's it.

Wow. Lot to unpack there.

I mean, fuck.
How can I say no to that?

Bro. What?

What the fuck?

Who gives a parking ticket for backing in?

Everyone backs in!

I can't afford a fucking parking ticket
right now.

Cash prize is 25,000 for one day of hoop.

Look, bro, do you wanna play or what?


Look, we're gonna get in here
and hustle a few games

and get our entry fee for
the tournament. Period.

And no one's gonna think that
you can play dressed like that.

I look like a modern hooper
with low body fat and functional strength.

I'm basically a less-fat Luka,

who's the best player in the league
by the way, and once people admit that,

race relations in this country
might actually improve.

I'm just saying we could really use it
to our advantage, all right?

Get on the court. Rinse and repeat
until we get the entry fee.

- How's the knee?
- Great.

Hey, come on.
Where the fuck you going?

I mean, am I still the do-it-all playmaker
with elite athleticism?

Not quite,
but I'm getting some bounce back.

Plus I'm just way better now 'cause of
how my injuries have made me evolve.

Game's easier now. It's way slower.

I just play the angles and let the ball
pretty much come to me wherever I am.



Nothing, man.

Offense, offense. Right here.

To the wing!

This won't work here.
There's too many white guys.

We need to go back to the eastside
where they won't see you coming.

The race shit is dated, bro.

Everybody but you
knows white dudes can hoop now.

I'll find some marks, get in their heads,
throw 'em off their game,

and we'll clean up.

I'm great at spotting mental weakness
in hoopers, bro.

I'm like the p.T. Anderson
of basketball psychological warfare.

Who the fuck is p.T. Anderson?

Our greatest living director.

Spike Lee is our greatest living director.

Spike Lee's not even a good Knicks fan.

I knew this was a mistake.

Look, man. You're the one who said
you don't even wanna make friends.

- I don't.
- Let's just make our money.

I guarantee you I can get everyone
out here to bet on themselves.

I got you to put up 300.

- Oh!
- Okay!

All right!

Hey, bro. We got this.


You might wanna shoot
a little closer to the rim.

I feel like you're out of your range.

Told you, man.

Let's put some money on it.
Make it interesting.

One-on-one. First to 11.

You gonna wear that trash bag?

You gonna wear that fake-ass
Richard Simmons outfit?

Let's put 200 on it.

Okay. Fine.

But only because I have a soft spot
for thick-ass ballers like you.

- Who the fuck...
- Mike sweetney.

Tractor traylor. Escalade.

Guys like you were the neck bone
of the league for so long.

Two-on-two and make it 300.


Excuse me one second.

See what the fuck he got on?
That's the shit I don't like, bro.

Okay. We've got a problem.

The guy just picked up an antetokounmpo.

I don't like this at all.
What if they're trying to hustle us?

You got your money?

Nigga, I got nine kids.

Black people come from a long line

- of kings and queens, all right?
- True.

Had to fight for every right
since we been in this country.

- I always say that. Yeah.
- Thank you. It's confidence.

Why would they be afraid of you walking
around looking like a Sierra mist can?

- True.
- Let's whoop 'em.

You are a king.

All right.

You wanna work, huh?


Ball. Ball.

Look at us.

- What are you doing?
- Relax.

Whoo-hoo! Yes!

The fuck is that?

My bad.

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Oh, I get it.

Y'all got like a jungle fever type
connection, huh?

Nasty-ass nigga.

What you looking at, boy?


Stop being lazy on d, bro.

Fuck you say? Being lazy?
What, you my overseer now?

I just said a thing that's true.
Everything isn't racist, bro.

You acting like I said,
"quit being angry, black fellow."

But you wanted to say that shit,
didn't you?

I'm not one of those people, bro.

One of what people, Jeremy?

People who say stuff like that.

Say stuff like what?

Like, "oh my, god, kamal, you're so
well-spoken." Which you are, by the way.

See, you wanted to say that shit
right now, didn't you?

- You have a nice flow, like Obama.
- Man, just stop.

Look, I'm just saying
you don't scream thuggish

even though you're chocolate chocolate.

The fuck is chocolate chocolate?

Well, a lot of black people these days
are milk chocolate.

And I think it's because interracial
relationships were illegal till the '60s.

It was a fucking rhetorical question.

And you know what?
I'm done with that racist shit.

- Same. No more race.
- Fine.

- Great.
- Great.

Hey, yo! What the fuck is going on?

Can you not see
we're having a fucking conversation?

And one!

Ain't nobody foul you.

You're a hack, bro.

Shoot for it.

- You make it, you get the call.
- Say less.

Nobody fuckin' fouled him.

I probably should've asked this earlier,

but how much cash do you have on you?

Did you not bring enough money
to cover this game?

I brought, like, 80...

Minus 60.

So you brought $20
to cover a $300 bet?

He's trying to cheat 'cause...

When you say it out loud,
it's pretty fucked.

I had my hand up.

Why don't you just venmo them
the money that you finessed me for?

- I burned through that days ago.
- It was a shit call. That's it.

They're not just gonna accept $20
on a $300 bet.

Then they better not win, right?

We could really use some rain, huh?

Check up.

Yeah, check up.

- Fuck!
- There it is!

Game point, baby.

- I'll screen back.
- Switch, switch, switch!

- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, yeah, I'm here.

Mismatch! You got that mismatch.

Go ahead.

Yes, sir! Bucket!

Fuck, man!

Yeah, boy. Fucking go.

Boy, look, I don't know how much
you talking shit played into that,

- but good fucking work.
- Thank you.

By the way, bro,
you could talk way more shit out there.

You have so much material
I can't even touch.

Like what?

- Never mind.
- No.

Tell us.

What other black jokes
you want to say, Jeremy?

- Fuck you say, white boy?
- What he say?

You're telling me your friend here
doesn't look exactly like Malcolm X?

Hey, yo. Shut the fuck up and play ball.

I'm gonna clamp that ass up.
Let's go. Come on.

It's all love, dude.


And you better bust his ass.

Yeah, yeah, yeah! Whoo-hoo! All right!


What you doin' now?

This ain't your court.

- It don't work like that, man.
- Hey, fellas.

Why don't y'all just fuck already?

- You're too easy. Hey, it's too easy, dog.
- Quit playing with me. What?

They would look good together, huh?

- Shut the fuck up, man.
- Ball.

Switch, switch, switch,
switch, switch.

Hey, white boy. What's up?

Nah, you're mine so go on and pass.
Just pass it.

Watch out. Watch out.

Man, get your pussy ass up!
I ain't even hit you that hard.

- That's what we doing now?
- Yeah, that's how we gonna play.

Yo, just let it go, 'mal.

- Yeah, let it go.
- Let it go. Let it go.

Man, he ain't finna do shit...

- Jesus Christ, bro.
- What now, bitch?

What, you want some too?

- Okay, don't look now...
- Huh?

- But he has friends coming.
- Uh-uh.

- Fuck his friends.
- I'm outta here.

- Come on, girl. He got a flamethrower.
- Flamethrower?

Yeah, bitch, flamethrower.

What is this? Mad Max?

Aw, hell nah.

- Yo, yo.
- Yo!

Damn. Oh, shit. Whoa!

What about my car? What about my car?



Get the fuck out the way!

Come on. Get in. Get in!

Come on!
Drive, drive, drive, drive, drive!

Yo, where the fuck you going, man?

Come on, man. Come on, come on.
Stop fucking around!

Just fucking drive. Come on, come on.

Come on, come on, come on.

You're fucking crazy, bro.

Now, that was the craziest shit
I've ever been through.

- Here, man.
- Thanks, bro.

So, where's your girl?

At work. I gotta go pick her up soon.

That's what's up.

Here. Take this.

All you eat is lettuce,
but then you pop pills?

Life's too short to be in pain
when you don't have to.

You're a complicated dude, bro.

You ever tried therapy?

What, like physical therapy?
That shit takes forever.

No, like, therapy therapy.

Where you sit and talk with a professional
about whatever's on your mind.

Man, I got a barber I've been going to
for, like, 12 years.


Name is Arnold, I pay him 35 bucks,
he gives me a fresh fade,

and I sit and I talk to someone
who actually knows me.

Wow. I wish my therapist
would give me a fresh fade.

That's a beautiful black experience.

I just think you should try something.
Try meditation.

No offense,
but meditation is for white folks.

None taken, but meditation isn't gonna
turn your skin white, you know?

It's just gonna help you calm yourself
down whenever you're about to lose it.

Oh, you talk more shit than anybody else
I've ever met on the court.

What are you talking about?

Yeah, but only to assholes
or for, like, strategy.

I don't ever get angry.
I never get violent.

Fuck that noise, bro.

Yo, is this you?

Oh, hold up, bro, is this...
Is that this place?

Yeah, I live in the same two bedroom
I grew up in.

With your parents?

They moved to Vegas to blow
their retirement on slot machines.

I figured I'd keep the place

'cause rent's low-key affordable
since they lived here for so long.

Now, I'm about to whip you up
something real special.

You want a smoothie?


Nah, I'm good.

You did pretty good out there today.

Another full day of hustling,
and we'll have that 2,500 easy.


Yeah, my body's feeling better
than it has in a while.

I'm actually excited
to play in this tournament.

I'm gonna take my half of that 25k prize
and fix my body for real,

so I can take a real shot at the g league,
maybe even the big show.

I'm looking into
this regenerative medicine.

This stuff called stem cells.

It's supposed to be a game changer.

So you wanna make more money

to fix your broken body
so you can still play ball,

which is what broke your body
in the first place?


Basketball's a curse, bro.

You love basketball.
If I remember correctly,

I met you playing pickup
without a gun to your head.

Look, when I was in high school,
my pops took out this crazy loan

and bought me an escalade

just 'cause he thought
I was going to make it to the league.

Now I'm a nobody.

And that escalade
needs a new transmission.

Everybody's a nobody, bro.

It doesn't matter how much money you have,
we're all the same.


I grew up just as broke as you.
I just don't let it define me.

That's 'cause you have the privilege of
being defined by never needing a haircut.

Tatiana cut my hair last week.

Yeah, it shows.

Why are black guys so obsessed
with haircuts?

Why do white guys not give a fuck
about 'em?

Thought we said no more race, bro.

No more race, bro.

It's a banger, right?


It's cool.

- I saw you tapping your foot.
- No, you didn't.

Bro, you were literally just
tapping your foot to the beat.

But I wasn't, though.

- Oh, okay. So you don't like this?
- No.

Okay, do you like any white artists?

I don't know.

That one redhead dude
who also has trash-ass haircuts.

- Ed Sheeran?
- Yeah. Him.

I fuck with him.

All right, so imagine this.

You're in your escalade,
riding down slauson, windows down,

vibing to some fucking ed.

You pull up to a light, you look over,
it's a car full of fellow black men.

You either a, turn that shit down
as quick as you can,

or b, keep singing
those timeless classics.

Hey, 'mal, guess what?


I love the shape of you.

What... get the fuck outta here.

- Shit.
- I do.


Thanks for the heating pad, man.

Hey, no problem.

Just, uh, don't baby the hand.
You'll be good in a few days.

Hey, look,

my son's having a birthday party
this Saturday.

You should roll through.

That's so fire.

I fuck with kids.

- Yeah, maybe don't say it like that.
- Nah,

I'm saying, like, kids are a vibe,
they're chill.

Got you. And look, bring Tatiana too.
All right? So she can meet Imani.

She'll love that.
Just, uh, do me a favor.

Don't bring up the hooping
or the stem cells.

Definitely don't mention
the gambling. Please.

I kind of told Tatiana
I'm done with all that stuff.

Sounds like a healthy relationship.

It is.

Okay. Hey, don't spend any of the money
until we can cover the fee, all right?

I should be saying that to you.

- Boy, I'm good with money.

- So am I.

- Me too.
- Word.

Word, bro.

Clean up, man.

Hey, hey. What's up, girl?
Come on. What you got?

Come here.

- Do me a favor, all right?
- Hmm?

Take this 10, give it to your grandma.
Tell her I need an eighth.

- Okay.
- Okay?

- Okay.
- Don't short her.

- Where the doobie?
- It's on the way.

- Ooh!
- Yes, man.

Drew, slow down.

Don't worry, I got him.

Thank you.

- Hmm.
- Yeah, you still ugly.

Yo, where you been?

I've literally been setting up by myself
this whole time.

No, you don't get to bring sprinkles

and think shit is all good.
It's not giving that.

- No?
- No.

Oatmeal chocolate chip.

For the queen.

- Damn cookie.
- Mmm.

Does this cookie mean
you made it to the bank?

We're coming up on a week late now, babe.

Already done.


Just playing some ball again.

- Okay.
- Yeah.

I know that's not the parole officer
coming to the function.

With a little caramel queen too?
The gall.

Tatiana's black?

The bon iver concert canceled, homey.

Is that why you're not selling
water bottles at sofi?

You gonna let him talk about you
like that, black man?

That's essential work.

Hello. How are you?

Don't worry about that. Lorenzo.


Look at yourself.
Look at yourself.

Man, sit your ass down, bro.

Hey, man.

How you doing? I'm kamal.

- Hi.
- Nice to finally meet you.

It's nice to meet you too. Jeremy says
you're on his detox program?

Ri... yeah, no. Um...

Yes. With the parsley and the... and my gas
is better now, and I'm shitting right.

Like, it's...

Hey. You must be Tatiana and Jeremy.

- I'm Imani. Kamal's wife.
- So nice to meet you.

- Thanks for having us.
- Yeah, no problem.

- Hennessy.
- Oh, yeah.

You... yeah. It's-it's one of
my favorite cognacs. You know, so...

People have no idea how much care

goes into making this
such a smooth and warm blend.

Seriously. And they've been doing it
since 1765.

Feel like it's slept on.

- Oh. Okay.
- Hmm.

Auntie, uh,
can you turn for us so we can jump rope?

- Yeah, boo. I'll be right there.
- All right. Thank you.

- Can I help?
- Yeah, come on.

Let me know if you guys need any backup.

- Boy, get out of here.
- Fine.

Now I'm a part of your lies?

- What's up, white boy?
- Wow.

You would never eat that
if you were on my cleanse.

Yeah, you right.


How come everybody
always buys my son basketball stuff?

I don't know, maybe because his dad
is kind of a well-known basketball player.

Yeah. Was.

Who's that?

My pops.

Oh, shit.


- Oh, no. He crazy for that.
- Ms.

He got diagnosed
when I was in high school.

The night I got arrested?
He was in the hospital.

Sorry to hear that.

It's cool.

It is what it is.

The extra pickup money really helped.

My girl started doing hair in our crib
to make ends meet.

Now she doesn't wanna go back
to working at a salon.

So I been raising money

so I can get her and her bougie-ass
friends out my fucking living room.

I feel you.

My girl's a crazy talented
choreographer who...

Who's wasting her time
teaching classes at a dance studio

because my income's so shaky right now.

What up, pop?

How you doing, son?

Gonzaga basketball, right?

How'd you know?

I watch all the good ones.
You had a nice touch.

Thank you, sir.

Oh, man,
this dude is already cocky enough.

Got to have some confidence to bring
a bottle of henny to a black function.

It's all I drink, honestly.

It's funny you two being friends.

I bet y'all got more in common
than meets the eye.

- That's debatable.
- I doubt that.

Like I said, a lot in common.

You want something to drink?

Yeah, give me some of that henny.

- I can drive the boat for you, sir.
- No.

See this a good friend you got here.


I had no idea about kamal's pops.

Dude was like the star of the show when
kamal was the best player in the country.

Life is crazy.

- What happened?
- Um...

The studio got me a meeting with sza to
go on tour as her assistant choreographer.

Babe, that's amazing.

It's just a meeting.
I don't know.

Yeah, but it's a compliment that
they put you up there for that.

She obviously sees how special you are.

The money's not great,

but my job would still be here
when I get back.

Another win.

It... it's like significantly less,
actually. Um...

Babe, take the win.

I don't know.

Take the win.

Listen, if you want to make this happen,
we're gonna make this happen.


Well, I don't wanna jinx it,

but I kind of have an opportunity
of my own to make us some extra bread.

Like a lot, actually.

Like doing what?

Just some private workouts
with some high-end guys.

It's not a big deal,
but I could make like ten grand.

- What?
- Yeah.

- No big deal? Are you insane?
- Yeah.

- What is wrong with you?
- Okay, fine. Fuck it. It's a big deal.

- Yeah.
- Let's celebrate our good news together.

Hmm. What did you have in mind?

I got it.

How's your knee?

It's good. Why?

What? What, you wanna do some freaky shit?

'Cause I can be talked into some stuff.

- Come here.
- Shut up.

And a lot of it has to do with...

All right, look, bro.
This is watts, so watch your mouth.

Don't say none of that slick shit.

Don't look nobody in the eye
longer than you have to.

- This shit ain't for play, all right?
- Yep.

Here they play five-on-five
and we should get picked up pretty quick.

Uh, don't worry. I got it.

You ready?

Born ready.





I just wanted to see if you had
superhuman hearing 'cause of your...

'Cause of my what?

- Huh?
- It's all good.

Yeah, all right. All right.

White boy coming in my hood talking shit.

- Yeah, I got something for you.
- Ball.

Ball, ball, ball, ball, ball!

- Oh, he's trash.
- Fuck!

Do those help or hurt your vertical?

'Cause you know dumbo could fly,
but he was obviously a cartoon...

Yo, yo! Chill, chill.

No, no. You know what?
Fuck you, white boy!

Chill, chill.

I love your... I love them.

- What's up with your boy?
- What's he doing now?

We ain't got all day.

He's almost done.

Look, I gotta tell you, those short shorts
look incredible on you.

I mean,
you're so comfortable in your skin.

Can I be honest, brother?

Your shit is sitting in those. Sitting.

Do you have an onlyfans?

It's okay, no one saw that.

I don't know why you fed his ass,
if you know you ain't got the money.


I don't know how an independent woman
like yourself deals with it.

Thank you.


Let's go. And get my purse.

He ain't getting none tonight.

Yo, yo, yo, yo.

Come on... come on, man!

Fuck. Shit.

I got something for you, buddy.

- What's in this one?
- Protein plus ginger.

Made special for you, boss.

Give it a shot.


- Yo, that's actually not that bad. Yeah.
- Right? Yeah.

You like it, huh?

It's from the earth, brother.

From the motherland. Africa.

Don't do that again.

I'm just saying, bruh. It's organic.

Man, stay focused.
We got way more games to play.

We could let them
pick our team, and we'd still win.

All right, fellas.
Thank you for joining us.

- I'm Jeremy. He's kamal.
- 'Sup.

Why'd you let them pick your team?

We like giving back to the community.

It's because they're hustling, man.
Come on.

Can't get anything past you, huh?

Can't you just buy crypto or, like,
run a credit card scam if you need cash?

You sell homophobic chicken sandwiches.

Hey! Don't clown him for making a livin'.

Will you please
take those fucking shades off?

It's distracting.

Can I take them...

- You touch 'em, you die.
- All right.


Come here.

- Come on, one more.
- Swing it!

Swing it! I'm open!

Swing it!


- Nice shot, you slick son of a bitch!
- Don't talk to me!

Can't even root for this dude.

Four, three, two.

All right, let's exhale for four.

Three. In through the nose,
out through the mouth, please.

Fill this diaphragm up.
Fill this up for me.

From seven, six, fi...

I want you to inflate like a balloon.

And release.

Release for me. Release for me.

Keep releasing.

We're about to
fucking Rob these fellas blind.

You ready?

- Yeah.
- What's...

- Screen right, screen right!
- Got him.


- Close out, close out!
- Yeah. Look out!

Oh, no. Hold on.

- Come on.
- Oh, no.

Come on. Throw it, man. Come on.

- Fuck that boy up.
- Did you see that?

Wow. Boy, we cleaned up, 'mal.

Are you meditating?

Think so.

And look. You're still black.

Fuck outta here, man.

Now I gotta figure out what
to tell Tatiana about this tournament.

It's all good. Mm-mmm. Thank you.

Incense, my brother?

- All good, bro. All good.
- All right.

You sure you want that?

Yeah, my girl's a dancer.

Shit, everybody girl is these days.

No, a dancer dancer.


A hundred bucks,
but I'll give it to you for 85.

Any chance you'll do 60?

Just on some


I'll do 85.

Yeah, I'm booked all day Saturday
with these high-end clients.

We're gonna be rolling in it, babe.
It's all good.

You got nothing to worry about
as far as finances are concerned.

I got you.

Thank you.

For what? Being sexy?

For being a good dude.


For being a good dude.

Yeah, you can thank my mom for that one.

She put me on to gilmore girls
at a early age.

That show really helped me connect with
the female point of view, you know?

I thought it was living single.

That too. Both were in heavy rotation.

- What is that?
- Ah.

- What is that?
- Ah. Open it.


Thank you.

- Do you like it?
- Yeah!

Oh, my god.

No, baby. It's so sweet!

- You don't like it. It's all...
- No! No, I love it.

- I love it. I do. I love it.
- Nah.

- I love it so much.
- Tatiana!

- Come here. Come here. I love it.
- Tatiana. Ta...

- Tatiana.
- What?

I don't wanna crash your dad's car
while we're dry-humping.

Babe, come look at this spot.

I think it'd be perfect
for the salon. Look.

Yeah, baby, that's dope.

What are you drinking?

Oh, it's, uh...

- "Turmeric" or some shit I don't...
- Turmeric?


Anyways, look.

If we keep staying smart with our money,
more clients coming in, and all goes well,

this is the spot. That shit fire.

It's dope. It's perfect.

No doubt. Yeah.

You cute. Where you going?

Playing in this two-on-two tournament
with Jeremy.


It's like...

It's a cash prize,
and he asked me to play, so I said yeah.

Okay, I see you.

Jeremy got you back outside. Aight.

Look. I really don't want
my pops to find out, all right?

I don't need him
feeling bad for not being there.


- I won't say a word...
- Thank you.

If I can come.

- Yeah.
- Look, it's...

It's gonna be all day,
and I don't want drew to be there.

Edith could watch drew,
and I could be ya little cheerleader,

like back in the days, like,

- "k-a-m-l".
- Oh, okay. That's how you gonna get me?

- That's what you gonna do?
- All right, I'm gonna get dressed.

What up with it, you boss players?

You ready to go out there
and flambé these fuckboys?

What's up, lamont.

I think we about
to fuckin' lose everything.

Is that kamal ugly ass?

- Well, damn.
- Yeah, that's him.

He still ugly as fuck.

What's up, boy?

- What up, bro?
- Ha ha!

- Hey, you lookin' real fit.
- Hey!

You know I done bossed up, man.

Regional manager down there at spectrum
now, you know what I'm talking about?

I got a house down in San Pedro,
right by the water.

Real player shit. I know speedy told you.

It's like "mangri-la"
up in that motherfucker.

I got a stripper pole that's,
like, 30 feet tall.

The big girls come down fast.

You should come hang out.
Bring some bitches.

I'm just saying, man.

Your boy came a long way
since I was serving fiends in the set.

Man, I mean, look at me.

Hold up,
I thought you used to sell pit bulls?

Nah, nigga, them was frenchies.

But that's neither here nor there.
This is what it's about, dog.

Too bad we can't run together no more.

- Next time.
- Next time.

I'ma get up in here and, uh,
you know what I'm saying?

Get my little...
Ankle-breaker game together, nigga.

You better get right, boy,
you know what I'm talkin' bout?

Mamba mentality.

See you.

Hey, yo, 'mal.

We meet y'all in the finals, man?

Throw the game. I'll throw you a rack.

Just you, though. Not the white man.

All right, bro.

- Think about it.
- All right, y'all.


Where Mildred at, though?

Oh, she had to go to the dmv.

Nigga, what? Animals can't drive.

Leave my girl alone.

Oh, i'ma leave her all the way alone.

West coast, it's dj hed.

Welcome to
the veniceball two-on-two tournament.

$25,000 is on the line.

Now look, you better bring your a game.

If you get dunked on,
yo ass is going viral for sure.

Definitely wanna shout-out to veniceball

for sponsoring today's event
at the world-famous venice beach.

Uh, we got a few people out here.

Uh, shout-out to home grown radio.
They're in the building.

Uh, who else?

You got this, babe.

You've played on
way bigger stages than this.


Now you tell me,

what's better than the scent of
salt water and cement on a Saturday?

Here you are, brother.

You know, the winner of this tournament

gets free entry into
the leimert three-on-three,

where the cash prize is $500,000.

I'ma go change.

What's up with him?

He hasn't played anything
other than pickup.

For years.

I mean, he hasn't played organized ball
since the night he got arrested.

He's just nervous.

He's gonna be great. He is great.

He is.

I love your sandals, by the way.

Oh, the kyotos? Thanks.

It's, um,
state-of-the-art double-strapped,

and they're meant to mold to your feet.

Ground materials made of cork.

It's like the perfect sandal.

It's extremely state of the art.



Do something!

Fuck are you doing here?

It's good to see you too, Jimmy.

It's Jeremy.

Yeah, sorry, bro. I meet a lot of people.

Oh. Is that kamal Allen?

Don't be a groupie, bro. Get off his dick.

Wanna take a pic with him?

I'm your man, mouthpiece,

voice of venice beach.

All right now, people.
You know what you came here to see.

It's that time. Let's get it crackin'!

Look at the new fella
stealing the ball from Phil.

Oh! Skywalka with a cold block!

That's embarrassing, bro!

Had the angle.

Pass the rock, bro.

Defense! Defense!

Can't play without your daddy?

Take the shot!

Let's go, babe! Let's go!

Come on. Stay in the game, kamal.

- Worry about your fuckin' self, man!
- Right here.

Yeah, baby. Yep. Let's go.



This dude over here waving off picks.

Man, I thought they was homeys.

Another easy layup for Phil.
His squad is one away from victory.

Defense! Defense! Defense!

Wake up, 'mal! Let's go!

Duke and Phil,
one basket away from victory.

Ooh! That's game!

Duke skywalka and Phil Williamson wins
and moves onto the next round.

Hey, kamal, where's your dad?

What was that?
You were on another planet out there.

Fuck you talkin' about, man?

You in a pissing contest with that dude

'cause you care
what people think about you.

We just got shit on because
you think you're too good to be here,

and I care too much
about what other people think?

You know you're the reason we lost, right?

When are you gonna be a grown fucking
man and get outta your own way?

Grown man?

Yo, you 27 years old with two bum knees,
still trying to make it to the league.

- You're a disappointment.
- The fuck you say to me?


Say that shit again!
You say that shit again!

Fucking say it!
Say it again, motherfucker!

Get this fucker off of me!
Say that shit again!

- Get your fucking head checked!
- Fuck you, bitch!

Go back to vtx.

Fuck you, and fuck vtx, bitch!

You niggas are sabotaging the
gentrification of this fine community.

If I wanted gangster shit,
I would've stayed in the set!

And let's go get lattes, nigga.

He just choked
the shit out that white boy.

That shit crazy.

I bet it goes viral for sure.

- Wow.
- Bob, come on.

This doesn't even
have anything to do with work.


- Go back to vtx.
- Fuck you, and fuck vtx, bitch!


clearly they took that outta context.

Sorry, bud. I'm gonna have to let you go.


This went all the way up
to corporate, man.

I don't like talking to them.

They wanted me to fire you
over the phone, and I said,

"no. We're buds. We've shared something.

I've offered him edibles."


Oh, they're gonna fire me too. Shit.

So, that's it? I'm really done?

You? Definitely. Yes.
Uh, s-sorry, buddy. You are done.

I guess I was being a little tougher
than normal on Jacoby or whatever,

but dude totally lost his shit
and went full latrell sprewell on me,

which is crazy 'cause
he's too young to even get that reference.

Latrell sprewell choked p.J. Carlesimo
at practice.

P.j. Carlesimo was his coach
on the warrior...

Booked all day with clients, huh?

Say it again!

Yo, go get your fucking head checked!

Go back to vtx.

- What, do you have a Google alert on me?
- Fuck you, and fuck vtx!

Fuck you.

Look, I know you hate it,

but my body feels great right now,
and my game's evolving.

There's plenty of ways to play ball
these days.

You don't have to go to the NBA
to make a living.

I am working overtime,

killing myself to support us

while you are gambling
and lying to my face about it.

What are you doing?

I got the offer to go on tour.

I leave Saturday.

For how long?

That's your response?

I mean, it's just incredibly unlike you
to jump into something so quickly.

You cannot even get past your inflated
fucking ego to be excited for me.

That's really all I wanted.

Yeah. Right.

You're going to walk out
like you always do

because you can't handle the truth.

We're living in
your parents' old apartment

while you're lying to me
to chase a dead dream,

and I put my life on hold
because I'm afraid of leaving you behind.

You are tragic, Jeremy.

Yeah, go! Get the fuck out of here.

You know what, take these.
You're gonna fucking need them!

Body's not tired, your mind is weak!

You got haters in your head
trying to stop you from being great.

Get 'em out your head!


I'm good, I'm good.

Don't you worry about me.
Shoot it! Shoot it!

Don't you worry about your mother.
I'll always be there for you, son.

Overrated! Overrated!

Kamal, where's your dad?

He run out on you too?

Can't believe this.
This is crazy.

He's going into the stands.
I've never seen...

Another field goal
for gonzaga by Jeremy crandall.

The way he's been playing this season,

it's really just a question of
when he wants to register for the draft...

Check up.

Ball, ball, ball.

Ball! Give me the ball, man.

Goddamn it, Andy! Wake the fuck up!
This means cut!

Ball, ball! Ball! Ball!

Throw the ball, you fucking normie.

- Okay.
- Ball, ball! Ball!

There's a million people who wanna
play this game for a living just like you.

Wake the fuck up! Check ball. Check ball!

Hey, yo, look at my fucking calves
poppin' in these plyometrics.

Look at 'em.

I'll get you a pair. It's $200.

Everything okay, Jeremy?

Fucking love you, susie.

Yo, who got next?

That's your stance?

You're gonna try and guard me all bent
over like you're playing through sciatica?

Man, shut the fuck up, you old-ass loser.

You think you're tough, huh?
You lil bitch.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Hey, back the fuck up!
Back the fuck up! The fuck did I say?

Man, fuck this.


Fuck is wrong with you, bro?

Gonna fuck around and get your
ass whooped by a couple tiktokers?

What are you doing here?

Look, man. I came to apologize, all right?

What the fuck, man, you drunk?

My girl found out I lied to her
because you made me a fucking meme!

So you lie to your girl,
and it's my fucking fault?

Try me.

Try me!

Yo, Jeremy.

You are done, bro.

You're like... you're done, done.

Like I'm taking a picture of you,

and I'm puttin' it behind the front desk

with all the other weirdo motherfuckers

that can't come in here
to charge their phone or wash their feet.

Come on, go!

The fuck is you wearing?

See, that's why
y'all don't do that shit, y'all.

- Be chill, I'm holding ya head still.
- Girl, check me out.

Keep your head still. Do not do anything.

It needs to go.
I thought you was keepin' it still.


Well, hello to you too.


- Okay.
- Did you apologize to Jeremy?

Babe, um...

Bobby let me go.

Oh. He ain't having his money on the 1st.

I'm gonna step outside
and let this color settle.

All right, look. Before you say anything,
everything's gonna be okay, all right?

Okay. What's the plan?

I don't know yet. I just need
a couple days to figure it out.

Okay. All right.

We'll just...
We'll just find you a new job.


- I'll ask Edith if nordstroms is hiring.
- The job... Edith, what...

- We can take it from there.
- It's bad enough I'm working at vtx.

Yo, people asking me every day
if I'm who I used to be?

I don't wanna work at no damn nordstroms!

Whoa. Your tone.

You think I wanna sit here
and glue wigs in this living room?

No, I don't, but guess what?

It's not about what I want, kamal.

What do you wanna do? Hmm?

'Cause everything about you
screams what you don't wanna do.

I actually don't know
what the fuck you wanna do.

Fucking joke.


Excuse me.

Excuse me.

I'm here to see Benji Allen. I'm his son.

Yeah. Just one visitor at a time.

- Sit.
- Go.

All right.

- Come here, baby.
- Go with mommy, buddy, okay?

All right.

Hey, pop.


So, what they sayin'?

You know I know more about my health
than they ever do.

Gonzaga must've missed
a lot of open shots to get you that upset.

I'm sorry, pop.

I'm sorry I keep making
the same stupid fucking mistakes.

And you're not supposed to be
living like this, I'll...

I'm sorry for letting you down.

Is that what you think?

You let me down?

I hid my illness
thinking I was protecting you.

I was scared,
and so I made you scared too.

I'm the one who let you down, son.

I don't give a damn about the NBA.

My biggest regret is not giving you
the tools to work through your problems.

It's time to stop punishing yourself
just 'cause...

Things didn't work out how we hoped.

Your family deserves to know
the joyful you,

not the guy with a chip on his shoulder.

And I was so happy to see
you playing ball again.

'Cause I still remember how much
you used to love it.

That's right, that's right.

Come on. Keep going.

How much it got you through.

Oh, yes! Yeah! Did you see that?

I'm sorry I took away that joy.

But you didn't, though, pop.

I still love the game.

And you gave it to me.

It was our game.

It'll always be our game.

- What's up, bro?
- What's happening?

What's up, y'all?

Is he cool?

I don't know.

They're monitoring him,
and they'll call if his vitals drop.

Hey, y'all still trying to play in

that basketball tournament in leimert?

Look, I'm not even
gonna hold you, bro, that's...

That's a big-ass event, bro,
with a whole bunch of pressure, man.

- I don't wanna fuck yo shit up.
- Oh, come on. Fuck the pressure, man.

Look, I don't want drew growing up
thinking that his father was a quitter.

Look, man. Even if we wanted to,

tell me how are we supposed to find
$7,500 for the entry fee by this weekend?


There's gotta be a way.

I do got a boy.

He's good at taking pictures.

He could probably set up a onlyfans
if you put on little-ass vtx shorts,

he could Photoshop
your bulge a little bit bigger.

You actin' as a postman.
We know what you deliver.

What if I put five grand on it?

From my salon money.

Babe. I'm not gambling your salon money
on a basketball game.

You're not. I'm gambling on my husband.

- What if we lose?
- Not worried about you losing.

I'm worried about
you missing out on a opportunity

to show the world that you that nigga.

So with that being said,

I need you to go out there
and win that money.

- Love you.
- Love you.

This is why black love is so pivotal.

'Cause five minutes ago,

speedy was thinking that you was gonna
put on that black ski mask and get active.


- I didn't mean like that, I was...
- No, he did.

Y'all figure out that other 2,500.

How we supposed to do that?

You could ask Mildred.

I can't. We on a break right now.

Oh. That's good, nigga.

She didn't really understand
my love language.


She thought it was gift giving,
but I'm more about physical touch.

Well, the greatest gift she could give you
is not touching you.

You know what? I got you.

Nurse! My man needs some help.

He has an affinity for
fat-ass white women.

What's up, all my beautiful people?

We live from
the historic leimert park village

for the three-on-three village classic.

Oh, and it's going down, where the top
players in the city get to square off

for a grand prize of $500,000.

Ooh-wee, that's a lot of money
on the table today, baby.

We got the legendary dj battlecat
in the house tonight.

I go by the name of qwesscoast.

I gotta give a special shout-out to
all the sponsors in the house.

You're a big boy now.

- What you doing back there? All right?
- Yeah.

- What's going on?
- Yeah, yeah.

Got the kid. Ooh!

Whoop-de-whoo, whoop-de-whoo.

You okay?

Nah, I'm good.

Baby, relax.

You're gonna do amazing.

Thanks, bub.

Who invited him?

Just talk to him.

For me?

- Please?
- Talk to him for what?

Nigga, ain't he the opps?

It's cool.

Go with mom, okay?

I'll be back.

- Don't let him rub nothin' on you.
- Don't drink one of them juices.

Yeah, bro.
Can't have yo Booty leaking on the court.

- Mm-mmm.
- Don't do that.



I came here to move past the bullshit

and see if
I can help you guys win this thing.

- Can you turn that shit down?
- Yeah, my bad.

You were right, man.

I was selfish.

I've never been able
to make a living off hoop.

My body's gone to shit.

Who knows if I was even good enough
before I got hurt,

but I have to grow up
or I'm gonna lose tati for good.

She's the only thing in my life
that actually matters.

I've been chasing basketball
instead of doing right by her.

Bro, what are you doing
here at a basketball tournament?

I... I came here
to help you redeem yourself.

Get the fuck outta here.

- You need money. That's it.
- Oh, no doubt.

If I'm in the same spot I was in

when she gets back from tour
with those big shots,

I'm finished.

But I wanna let you know
this is my last dance.

I'm playing to win. That's all.

Who you playing with?

Imani said
you guys might need an extra body.

Each team gets an alternate or something.


But your ass is coming off the bench.

Who we playing with? Bron and ad?

Okay. It's your squad.

I'm just here to help.

We cool?

Fuck yes.

All right, speedy, I need
you locked in on defense, all right?

Hitting open shots. Don't force shit.

You really gonna chastise me
in front of the white man?

In this black community?

Speaking of.

This area's kind of a untapped gem, huh?

Me and my buddies were thinking
we might find a couple spots over here.

Stop... why is this pilgrim here?

He's an alternate,
but I can send his ass home.


He's just here in case somebody gets hurt.

We don't need that.
I ain't never been hurt. Ever.

Well, good, bruh,

'cause I need your ass
to be down there in the paint,

boxing motherfuckers out.

We win or lose by you gettin' big today.

- I'm in there. It's nothing to me.
- And I'm here whenever you guys need me.

For what, a mantra,
a deep tissue massage, the fuck?

Look, fuck all that. We lose, we go home.

We win, we make more money today
than we've all ever seen in our lives.

Let's do it.

Coz motivated today, I see.

That's what we doing now?

Yeah, that's how we gonna play.

And this bro done stole on me
and ran like a little bitch.

Cuh was on ESPN in high school.

Oh, shit.

That's right.

Daddy's boy.

I wish we could see y'all on the court.

I'll probably see you in the parking lot.

You thought I forgot?

Pull up on your little tournament.

Space jam...
Featuring Justin bieber.

Wait, you guys are all cousins?


Local high school legend,
kamal Allen,

leading the blue team.

And it's good! Hello!

He still got it, ladies and gentlemen.

Hands up! Hands up!

- Come on!
- Let's go!

- Where's the foul?
- He ripped you!

That's not on me. That's you.

Ball! I got him, I got him!


I'm gettin' flashbacks, baby.

Kamal Allen's bounce is still here!

- Oh, my god! Take him home!
- Let's fucking go!

- Take him home!
- Check up! Come on!

Kamal Allen with the rock.

Oh, he got him on lock.

Danny brown got the best defense in town!

Switch, switch. Switch!

Oh, my god!

I know this nigga Haitian.
His ancestors made me trip.

Man... man, check that shit up.

Swing it!

Kamal Allen's been on lock, man.

It's like he on work release.
He can't never get out.

Throw that shit, I got it!

- Come on, man!
- That's what you came to do?

Time-out, man! Time-out!

- Time-out, blue squad!
- Man, watch out.

Hey, man,
what you doing throwing up that bullshit?

You can't be out here
playing so fucking soft.

- Soft? Man, you saw me slippin'.
- Shut up.

The sun got in my eyes,
and all kinds of shit...

No! No. The spacing is trash.

Everyone's watching each other
play iso ball.

Have you ever heard of team basketball?

'Mal. What's happening? Talk to me.

- Are you good?
- Yeah. I'm good.

- Are you sure?
- Yes, bro. I'm good, I'm sure.

You're in.

For who?


What the fuck?

What... Wait, wait, wait.

Wait, wait, wait.
Wait, what do you mean, bruh?

It's for the best.

It's for the best?

That's how they got us on the boat.

Hey. Look, your man's overplaying you
every time.

Just cut backdoor, I'll find you.


You sure you're good?

Yeah. I'm good.

All right.

And breathe out, 'mal. Just breathe.

Yo. What the fuck are y'all doing?

All right, it looks like

kamal Allen has subbed in
one of his partners for...

A white boy?

Pass inside to Allen
with the spin!

Let's go!

Looks like the white boy's
working out!

Off the step back!

- He drains the three!
- Stay focused.

What have I just witnessed, people?

The blue team is headed to the chip!

Y'all act like white men can't dunk.

All right, now.

This is it, people.
A half a million dollars on the line.

The competition is fierce!

But sweeney and the red team
are answering every point

with their own.

This that tit for tat,
dog-eat-dog streetball.

We're at game point, people.

The next team to sink a basket

wins the tournament and $500,000.


Aw, damn. That shit hurts.

You okay?

Talk to me.

Come on, man. Come on. I got you. Come on.

Come on, y'all.
Clap it up! Clap it up!

Oh, look,
they wanna clap and shit.

Can't go out like this again, 'mal.
Not again. I can't.

You're not going out like this, all right?
You got us here.

We're gonna take it home for you.
I got you.

Take your weak ass home, white boy.

Shut the fuck up.

The fuck you say to me?

I already owe your homeboy
a ass whooping, what's up?

- What'd you say?
- It's fine. Fuck this guy.

Yeah, big time. Where yo daddy at?
I might fuck coz up too.

- Fuck did you say to me?
- Yeah, yeah.

Say that shit again, bitch. Say it again.

Get off me, bro!

Hey. Hey.


Breathe. I got this.

I got this.

Look, coz...

- Man, don't hobble your ass over here.
- No, we don't want any issues, okay?

All we want is peace.
I'm sure we can solve this.

Man, what?

You know, me and the guys were just...

Hey, he a nigga now, huh?

Hey, get him, man!

Fuck is wrong with you, man?

What happened to all that
"peace and positivity" shit?

- I don't know.
- Chill out, man.

Hey, y'all know
we just fucked up the bag, right?

All right, all right!

The white boy's got to go!


And the fan he assaulted!

But they stay, right?

We gonna finish the game without 'em.

Let's keep the peace, people!

'Mal, you got this.

I'll be here in spirit!

And so will your pops!

You don't need therapy!
Basketball is your therapy!

That was beautiful.
They gonna kill him in the parking lot.

I ain't ever been to
a white man's funeral.

- I was just gettin' to know him.
- Yeah. Good dude.

- All right. We back, y'all.
- D up!

Ain't nobody
gonna stop this. Let's get to the bag!

Sweeney's red team has possession.

Hey, hey, watch him!

All they gotta do is
make this next bucket.

Red team pushes the d.
And Allen is back in the ball game.

Remember, your body's not tired,
it's your mind that's weak.

You got haters in your head
trying to stop you from being great.

You gotta keep 'em out your head.

- Kamal, where's your dad?
- Just know I'll always be here.

Sixty-four. Last one.

All right, all right.

Body's not tired, son.

Your mind is weak.

Get ya mind right.

Oh, my god! Oh, my god!

It's over, people! It's over!

Kamal Allen has led his blue team
to victory.

They're $500,000 richer!
I can't believe it!

I see you, Allen! This is crazy!

Hey. Hey.

Here we go.

Babe. He's gone, isn't he?


Congratulations, daddy!

- Thanks, buddy.
- Look at that. Hey, i'ma take that.

- Let me get a look. I'ma hold it.
- Hey, calm down.


- Can I touch it? Just like...
- Not like that.

Yo. Congrats, guys.


That was, uh, riveting.

- Congratulations again.
- Hey, yo.


Thank you, man. Thank you so much.

Yeah. No, this also counts as
community service, so let's get this pic.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!

- Hey.
- Hey.

- Thank you.
- Yeah.

Thank you for coming.

It's nice to see you.

Uh, I just wanna say, you know...

That you're sorry?

I know. You told me.

All I wanted was for you to support me.

- I know. I...
- It really fucked me up

when you couldn't even be happy for me
for getting an opportunity.

And I'll never forgive myself for that.

I was all about me, and I lied to you.

I was afraid that your dreams would
take you away from me,

and I'm just some dumb loser.

You're not a dumb loser.

But that's what I became when you left.


Oh, my knee.

Are you okay?


I can train players
wherever your career takes us.

I just wanna be with you, tati.

Will you marry me?

Under the condition that I promise

to never lie to you, neglect you,

or be that asshole
who didn't appreciate you ever again.

If you can get up without help,
I'll sleep on it.

- I need your help.
- Do you really need help?

Pick me up, woman.

- Hey!
- Congratulations.

Hey, little boy.
Slow down, and say "excuse me."

I'll check on you in a few.

- What's happening, girl?
- Help me figure this out.

Yeah. Please sit down.

All right.

All right, y'all, it's on. Here it is.

There's nothing
america loves more than a comeback story.

Meet kamal Allen.

A former high school sensation
with a bit of a shaky past,

but after absolutely dominating
in a local la basketball tournament,

he actually found himself
with a minimum contract overseas.

- Mvp! Mvp!
- Let's go!

Oh, my god.

Finally doing somethin' right.

I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.

You're playing really well in China,

then you get a call from
the south bay Lakers,

the Lakers' g league affiliate,

and then what happens next?

Um. Yeah, no, so I, uh...

I come back home to play for south bay.

Um, play in a couple games
in the g league,

and then, you know, all of a sudden

I get the call to come up
and play with the big dogs.

- On a 10-day contract?
- Mm-hmm.

- In your hometown.
- That's crazy, right?

I mean, a big moment like this,
you can't do it alone.

- Right.
- What has helped you along the way?


Shout-out to my wife, uh,

you know, my son, and my pops.

- Mm-hmm.
- And, uh...

You know, a little while back,
I met this guy

who introduced me to, you know, ginger
shots and turmeric and, uh, meditation.

And, uh, you know,
that meditation really helped.

Crazy dude, though.

Could've at least said my name.

It's bad enough that
they cut me out of the segment.

I spent two days playing pickleball
with that weirdo producer.

He called me
the "red flag player whisperer."

Yo, kamal!

We did it, baby!

Hey, we made it, man! Sizzler on me, man.

What in the Dr. Miami? Oh. Mildred?

Is that m...

Keep that same energy, bro. Excuse me.

Can I have one? No.

No, we don't play in snow.

Yeah, but for real, though.

I appreciate you, man.

You know I wouldn't be here without you.

You earned all of this.

Hey, I'm legitimately happy for you.

I'm happy for you.

Bro, get the fuck outta my face.

I told you I'm not stretching shit! Go.

Man, you need to go talk to your client?

It's pregame. He's good.

Damn, I never met Tyler herro.


Isn't he supposed to be, like,
a real chill dude?

No, they're trying to protect his image.

He's got anger issues, for real.

Fuck that shit, man.

I should tap in, man. I'ma head out.


What do you want?
What could you possibly want?

Relax, brother. Remember, you hired me.
I'm on your side.

I get that, bro...

Bro, look where you're at.

Look who you are.

Now let's do our exercises.
You know what we do.

Hands here. Put 'em here.


Fill this balloon up for me.

And release. Release for me.