Whitcomb's War (1980) - full transcript

(slow church music)

- David Michael Whitcom.

- [Voiceover] Once there was
a soldier in the great war.

- Congratulations.

- [Voiceover] Assigned to
a small battlefield called

Hurrah, Iowa.

(happy, marching band music)

(flame blowing)

(mysterious music, alarm sounding)

The enemy also sent in his warriors

to the same battlefield.



(marching band music)

(whistle blowing)

Each one picked for his specific talents.

(galactic beaming sounds)

Each one armed

with specialized weapons.

(heroic band music)

(church bells ringing)

One took up his position for the war.

And the others took up their location,

and dug in.

♫ I am the good shepherd

♫ The chosen of men

(mysterious music)



♫ I've called you to battle

♫ Today it begins

(mysterious music)

♫ So hear now your shepherd

♫ Your strength comes from me

(mysterious music)

♫ The victory will set them free

(mysterious music)

♫ For eternity

(phone beeping)

(flame blowing)

- Well, I wish Pastor
Peters would've stayed

for my first service tomorrow.

- Well, he did have to
give up his golf day

just to get away.

- I appreciate his sacrifice.

- He left you these.

(paper rustling)

These are cancellations for all

the Sunday School teachers tomorrow.

(sighing)

Are all the mice deserting a sinking ship?

- You mean, rats.

- I was practicing Christian forbearance.

Who's gonna teach Sunday School tomorrow?

- You still have me.

- [Pastor David] Why do we only have one

Sunday School teacher out of
a membership of a hundred?

- You know how the bible
talks about the shepherd

who leaves his 99 to go and
find his one lost sheep?

- Luke 15: 4-7.

- Well you have to go and find the 99.

(laughing)

The bible isn't funny.

The Lord doesn't like pastors to be funny.

- Well, I know now why Pastor
Peters played so much golf.

- The Lord is a very serious
business, Pastor Whitcom.

- The Lord has a great since of humor.

- Where does it say that in the bible.

- Genesis 1:27.

So God created man.

(trumpet blowing funny tune)

(sighing)

- Well, his sheep are
nothing but paper lions.

(laughing)

There won't be more then a
handful in church tomorrow.

- Ahh, you've done a
grand job here, Belzee.

You certainly deserve a rest.

- No, Abaddon,

they deserve the credit
themselves, unfortunately.

This has always been a lukewarm church.

There was never much work for me here.

- Terrific.

Then what were we sent here for?

- Bureaucratic red tape, no doubt.

- I was informed of my
transfer when the new preacher

accepted his assignment.

- Well, he's, young and foolish.

Should be easy to corrupt him.

- [Guy with Cap] I had an assignment once,

when I thought the same thing.

His name was David too,

and he was laughed at by a lot of people

for being ambitious.

- [Voiceover] Well, what happened.

- He killed Goliath with one stone.

I must be leaving now, Abaddon.

Never underestimate the enemy like I did,

or else you'll end up
spending your eternity

in backwater parishes,

watching bad golf like me.

(explosion thundering)

(coughing)

- [Computer Demon] He's incredible.

Nobody disappears like that anymore.

- Well, he's had a run of
unfortunate assignments.

I've known him for centuries.

- Having that first
David for an assignment,

was unfortunate.

- Especially when it was
followed by Saul of Tarsus,

Frances of Assisi,

and Martin Luther.

(explosion thundering)

(golf clubs rattling)

(explosion thundering)

- Old demons never die.

They just,

flame way.

(snare drum rolling)

- I guess you must feel like a shepherd

whose flock has been
taken over by the wolf.

- Well, I would've like
to have had a chance

at the wolf with my slingshot,

before he got the sheep.

(door clicking open)

Martha?

Would you like some coffee?

- Uh, no, I was just leaving for the day.

- [Pastor David] I'll
see you in Sunday School.

(door knocking shut)

- I know I'm supposed to be the

chairman of the board of deacons, David.

I should have better
control over the situation.

But it was just announced yesterday.

- Well, does the wolf have a name?

- Yes, and it's very fitting too.

- [Voiceover] Phil Esteem.

(laughing)

(computer beeping outputs)

(keyboard clicking)

(laughing)

(computer beeping outputs)

Oh, this man is almost
worthy of being a demon.

- Here now, watch your language.

- No, Im serious, Andar.

This Phil Esteem employs
three quarters of the people

that work in this town.

Seems the local power company

is running short of power weekdays,

so he changed the work week

for his employees to
Wednesday through Sunday.

(laughing)
- Excellent!

- So?

- So they have to work on Sunday.

Oh, Andor, no Church!

- [Andor] Oh!

Very good.

- Liar, look up the
particulars on this Phil Esteem

on your machine.

See if he has help from one of us.

Or if he's on his own.

- Well, he must be
getting help from someone

in the organization.

He is human.

- Yes, he's human.

Uh, he's working alone
without a demon partner.

Doesn't seem to need one.

- He's about to get three.

- Yes, but from these readouts,

I can't really see how we can improve

on an already very successful project.

- Why don't you ask that
mechanical monster of yours

why we're wasting our time here, then.

- Not a bad idea.

For the military.

(keyboard clicking)

- [Andar] Well?

- Here it comes.

David.

Michael.

Whitcom.

- [Andar] David Michael Whitcom.

- My name is David Michael Whitcom,

and I'm your new pastor.

(organ piping slowly)

I'm glad that you children
are in church today.

Instead of in Sunday School classes.

Lotta time in churches the
kids are separated from

the adults too much,

and the Lord especially
loved little children.

Matthew 18:3 he said,

"Unless you change, and
become like little children,

you'll never enter the kingdom of heaven."

One day, people tried to push
the kids away from Jesus,

because they thought that kids

would bother and interrupt him.

But he wouldn't let them do that.

Said in Mark 10:14,

"Let the little children come unto me,

"and do not stop them.

"For the kingdom of God
belongs to such as these."

They know that salvation is God's gift

of eternal life to you.

Course, you have to take the gift,

and you have to turn from lying, cheating,

sinful things, and turn to
Jesus Christ, God's son.

(demon whooshing)

And when you do that, get
your gift of eternal life.

All sounds easy doesn't it?

'Cause we know how
wonderful Jesus Christ is.

But he has a deadly enemy.

He has a whole army that works for them,

to keep adults and children from the Lord.

They work hard on us,

as they're on the losing side.

(hard gulping)

(mysterious music)

(happy, epic music)

They use all their weapons
to keep us from the Lord.

They make things look prettier,
and nicer, and sweeter,

And, more fun that good.

They work very hard to do this,

'cause they hate all human beings.

You know why?

Because we can spend our
eternal life with Jesus,

and he gave his chance away.

And he can never have it again.

So that's why he hates us so much.

Misery loves company.

What's the enemy's most powerful weapon?

Discouragement.

Remember, when you think
you can't be good anymore,

and you wanna give up,

you must be close to the Lord.

'Cause the devil's thrown in

his most important weapon to get you.

- Think they'll believe him?

- Rarely do humans believe the truth.

(laughing)

- [Pastor David] As
adults we sometimes forget

what Jesus says in Mark 10:15.

(mellow snoring)

"Anyone who will not
receive the kingdom of God,

"like a little child,

"shall not enter it."

Let's all come to him

with our hearts open like little children.

If you have not received
Jesus as your savior,

do it now.

Ask him to forgive you your sins.

Ask him,

(dial tones beeping)

to make you clean again,

with the blood that he shed for you,

on the cross.

Invite him into your heart.

And become a part of the
family of God forever.

Will you do that?

(whooshing appearance, grunting)

- Andor?

- I know it's old fashion,

but being around that rattle
talk always makes me nauseous.

(door clicking)

- The computer was right
about that man, Lile.

- Yeah, looks like it.

- We better concentrate
on the adults for a while.

Esteem has laid some
healthy groundwork there

we can capitalize on.

- But children are higher
priority I thought.

- Andor, don't think, okay.

It's too fatiguing on that
military mind of yours.

Now, don't you see the
children will follow their own,

natural instincts if we just

get rid of the adult interference.

- Never underestimate the enemy.

Get back in there, Andor, and
tell those children to resist.

- Please, I'm not well.

- [Abaddon] Now!

(whimpering)

- Yes, sir.

(sighing)

- There's one, slight
problem with an atheist.

- What problem?

At least an atheist doesn't
believe in our enemy.

- That's the problem.

- I don't understand.

- He doesn't believe in us either.

- We ask, Father, as always,
that we remain true to our

scriptural model as always.

Matthew 19:19, "Love your neighbor,

"as yourself."

Now!

The most important matter for this meeting

is to stop Phil Esteem from interfering

with our Sunday services.

For as it says in the bible,
if your right hand causes you

to sin, cut it off and throw it away.

We need to cut Phil
Esteem out of our society,

just like it says in the bible.

- [Members] Amen! Hallelujah!

- Well, like it says in the bible,

we don't wanna cut off our
nose to spite our faces.

Do we?

- What chapter and verse is that. Thomas?

- Phil Esteem does a lot
of good for this town.

Look at the bell tower he built for us.

- Yeah, and look at good
he's done for your bank.

- I resent that, Gabriel Lared.

- I apologize, Thomas.

- [Pastor David] Have any of you tried

to talk to Mr. Esteem?

- It wouldn't do any good.

- He doesn't listen to anyone.

(grunting)

- [Gabriel] I tried to talk to him,

but he informed me that
no half baked, farmer type

like me could know anything
about the problems of industry.

- Well, that's probably true, Gabe.

In my business however,
got to know a great deal

about a lot of things.

- Thomas, you've never done a days work

in your life with your hands.

- Now, like Phil Esteem, I use my brains.

I let others do the brawn work.

See, that's what brains are for.

- You mean, you make money
off of other people's work.

- Have any of the other churches in town

communicated with us about Mr. Esteem?

- [Everyone] Other churches?

(laughing)

- Since I was supposed to
deliver a short homily,

I think we'll begin with Romans 12:10.

"Be devoted to one another
in brotherly love."

(thought provoking music)

- I say James 4:4!

- I disagree. It's Second
Thessalonians 3:15!

- First Corinthians 6:10!

- I think First Corinthians 6:10!

- You must mean Luke 13:24!

- No! He means Galatians 5:19!

- No! He means Galatians 5:19!

- You're joking!

Philippians 3:18!

- I repeat, Matthew 5:44!

- You are in error!

- Throw First John 2:6
or Romans 13:13 at him!

- Put Romans 13:13 in
your pipe and smoke it!

- Smoking is sin!

- [Voiceover] Yes, Romans 6:15!

(loud chattering)

- First Corinthians 14:40.

"Let all things be done
decently, and in order."

- Well, they come up with a plan?

- Have they come up with a plan?

They barely agreed to sit down.

- Eight of them, might influence Esteem.

- Ah, no, no. Half of
'em don't wanna be seen

with the other half.

Soon they'll begin arguing about

sprinkling, dipping or immersion,

and they'll all leave mad.

- [Voiceover] No one will deny Psalm 1:6.

- That may be true, but that
doesn't invalidate Psalms 7:11.

- That's giving it to them, Claude!

Matthew 5:29!

(hand smacking table)

- Ah, here that?

Ah, David Whitcom will
have to face Esteem alone,

and he'll be eaten alive.

- Maybe.

- What is the matter with you?

- I had a colonel once,

who said the very same thing
about a man called Daniel.

- So.

- [Andor] He's a private now.

- Good point, Andor, but
that lion didn't have

the three of us.

Esteem has.

- Couldn't we just John 13:34?

- [Voiceover] That hardly seems possible!

And furthermore, Psalms 15:2!
(hand smacking table)

- Amen, that's giving it to them!

First Corinthians 5:13!
(hand smacking table)

- Only a fool would believe
we could ever get together!

We're miles apart doctrinally.

(chattering)

(door clicking open)

- [Pastor David] I thought we could

work together in the Lord.

- Only if we're never in the same room.

(door slamming)

- Happens every time.

(laughing)

- Shouldn't we work with her?

She has some good instincts.

- [Abaddon] No, no, you
work with her mother.

- Hut two, three, four.

Hut, two, three, four.

(marching band music)

- Pastor Whitcom, have
you come to join us?

- No, I've come to talk
with Mr. Esteem, Mrs. Salem.

- Hmm, I always thought actions
spoke louder than words.

- Aren't you ladies on
Mr. Esteem's property?

- All land belongs to
the Lord, Pastor Whitcom.

(marching band music)

- Pastor Whitcom, Mr.
Esteem is expecting you.

- Don't be afraid.

I don't eat young preachers.

(laughing)

Just that I need a machete to make

my way through this carpet.

- The wicked do flourish
like the green bay tree.

- Mr. Esteem.

- You came alone?

- [Abaddon] Not really.

- Not really.

- Sit down, young man.

Now what do you want from me?

I'm an atheist, so
don't ask for donations.

- I came to talk to you
about the new work week,

and its problems.

- [Mr. Esteem] What problems?

We solved our problems
with the new work week.

- Mr. Esteem, you're being
picketed by some ladies already.

(laughing)

Jesse Salem and her coven of witches?

Many of the Christians
in this community would

rather put in their eight
additional hours over the week,

and have Sundays free.

Would you consider that alternative?

- Young man, Riverown has invited me

to relocate in their
town where there's plenty

of power from the river.

Have you and your Christians
considered that alternative?

- Oh, I like his style.

- Mm-Hmm.

- [Pastor David] You had
several possibilities

other than working on Sunday.

You deliberately picked the Lord's day.

- What are you going to do,
strike me with lightning?

(laughing)

The best thing that could
happen to this town,

is to bring 'em out of the
dark ages of superstition

into the modern world.

And young men like you might
have to work for a living.

- A hit on target.

- [Pastor David] I see.

And you are going to lead
the people of Hurrah into

a bright, new world of tomorrow?

- You might say that.

I consider myself a good
influence in this town.

- An influence for?

- [Mr. Esteem] A leader
who can show them the good

in science, technology and modern thought.

Your Christian theology has imprisoned

their minds for years.

(chuckling)

- I see.

New gods for old.

- And what has your god
done for these people

that science can't do?

- Try, eternal life.

- [Mr. Esteem] I believe
in what I can see.

- [Pastor David] You believe
in the atom don't you?

- [Mr. Esteem] I can see
evidence under a microscope.

- [Pastor David] Well, I can see evidence

of the Lord in the universe.

- [Mr. Esteem] You are mad.

All you preachers are demented.

The week stays as it is.

(door buzzing)

And don't come to me with anymore

of your complaints, preacher.

I haven't time for that nonsense.

- [Pastor David] I'm sorry
your time is so short.

- [Mr. Esteem] I only have time

for important things, preacher.

- So many people have said that.

- What?

- [Pastor David] Cain,
King Saul, Goliath, Herod.

Judas Iscariot.

(suspenseful music)

(door clicking shut)

- Hmm.

He might be dangerous if he grows up.

I think we're about to
have a little help here.

(phone ringing)

- [Mr. Esteem] Yes?

Why should I care if you
have to water the lawn today?

What women?

Oh, yes.

The women.

It's my property, do it!

(humorous marching band music)

- Pastor Whitcom, what did he say?

- Well.

(voices chattering and screaming)

(funny music)

- An eye for an eye.

- Revenge is mine, sayeth the Lord.

- The Lord helps those
who help themselves.

(funny, slow music)

(water splashing)

(water dripping)

(door slamming shut)

(car rumbling)

(church bells ringing)

(door slamming shut)

(door clicking shut)

(door clicking open)

(key rattling)

(mellow piano tune)

- Mmm.

(dial pad clicking)

(grunting)

Thomas,

I need to know about that loan the Salems

took out to fix their roof.

How much more do they owe on it?

Ha?

Oh, I see.

Well, this is what I want you to do.

- [Mrs. Salem] You can't
do that, Thomas Downs.

You can't force us to do that.

(mellow snoring)

No.

No, I, I, don't want that.

Tell Mr. Esteem to send
the car repair bill to me.

We'll be in the bank soon.

To extend our loan to pay for it.

No.

(sighing)

I understand.

(phone knocking)

- How is she going to cause trouble now?

Esteem has her checkmated.

- Yes.

He has such a wonderfully, slimy mind.

- Mm-Hm.

(laughing)

I can hardly wait 'til
he joins us at home.

(laughing)

Oh, and give her a hint.

(mellow snoring)

- There's always,

poison pen letters.

(bell ringing)

(paper rustling)

(snoring rumbling)

(paper rustling)

(church pipe organ tune)

(trumpet honking)

(grunting)

(grunting)

- [Crowd Of Women] Give
us back our Sundays!

Give us back our Sundays!

Give us back our Sundays!

Give us back our Sundays!

Give us back our Sundays!

Give us back our Sundays!

Give us back our Sundays!

Give us back our Sundays!

Give us back our Sundays!

Give us back our Sundays!

(food splattering)

Give us back our Sundays!

Give us back our Sundays!

(paper rustling)

(paper ripping)

(funny tune)

♫ God will take care of you

♫ Through every day

♫ For all the way

♫ He will take care of you

♫ God will take care of you

- Ah, there's nothing like a fresh breath

of dissension to clear the air.

- Bracing!

- Invigorating!

- [Woman With Red Hair] I'm telling you,

that man should be punished.

- Assassination.

- Assassination.

Uh, I mean, we should
get up in association.

- But I say, a man's church

should not interfere in his work.

And I say, a man's work

should not interfere in his religion.

- And I say,

- [Andor] Drop dead.

- Drop dead.

(fist smacking)

(fruit thudding)

(voices chattering)

- Superb weather!

- Bracing!

- Yes, invigorating!

(chattering, grunting and screaming)

(funny, hypnotic noises)

(mellow snoring)

- Gabe Lared is a little late,

but we should begin.
(door slamming)

- There she is.

She's a good old girl.

Got a lotta years to go.

Isn't she pretty?

- She surely is.

She's a answer to prayer.

(car roaring)

- [Pastor David] Now, let's
see what the Lord had to say

about fighting mong ourselves.

What causes fights and quarrels among you?

Don't they come from your
desires that battle within you?

You want something, but you don't get it.

You kill and covet,

but you cannot have what you want.

You quarrel and fight.

You do not have, because
you do not ask God.

When you ask, you do not receive,

'cause you ask with the wrong motives,

that you may spend what
you get on your pleasures.

The book of James is
wonderful for its ability

to put its finger on human nature.

He warns us about judging our neighbor,

when there's only one lawgiver and judge.

Tells us not to grumble
against each other, brothers.

For you will be judged.

Look, we are Christians in trouble,

and what have we done?

We attack the enemy full of
hatred against God's law.

We've grieved, and mourned
and wailed "unfair,"

and we never asked for his help.

- [Voiceover] Wait a minute,
Pastor, we all prayed.

- [Crowd] Yes, we did.

- Well, if we believe
that God would help us,

then why did we attack Mr. Esteem,

and each other at the first
trial of faith in Hurrah?

We didn't persevere in
the faith; any of us,

for one week.

If our prayers weren't answered,

perhaps we should look at our motives.

The bible promised that the
prayer of a righteous man

is powerful and effective.

So let's pray now,

with humble hearts,

and ask His help.

- He does that more than
any other preacher I know.

If this keeps up I'm gonna be a wreck.

(crickets chirping)

(car door slamming)

- Well, I'd certainly hate to be the demon

assigned to that James character
that creep keeps quoting.

Why, that demon must've been
transferred to outer Mongolia.

- That demon was transferred
to a desert in Arabia,

for almost 2,000 years.

- He deserved it.

- I would've sent him to Siberia.

- Really?

We'll remember that if you fail here.

- Oh I,
- [Abaddon] I'd shut up

if I were you.

(gasping)

- Oh, that's bad.

He looked happy.

- You two go on in there.

I'm gonna check on Esteem.

- I (gasping) can't.

- You wanna get transferred to Siberia?

(whimpering)

- [Voiceover] You fool!

You not only let James become an apostle,

you let him write that disgusting book!

You idiot!

You let him help save thousands of humans!

Be gone, to the Arabian desert!

Stay there until I can bare
the sight of you again!

(chaotic, unpleasant tune)

- Help us this day, and every day,

to worship and praise you in our hearts.

We ask this in Jesus name, amen.

- [Crowd] Amen.

- I think the Lord has
answered our prayers.

Green County Hospital is selling

a 500 kilowatt generator,

that will provide electricity for

a factory that hires 800 people,

from Hurrah.

(cheering and applauding)

- [Pastor David] Thank
you, Lord, for a solution.

(door clicking shut)

(phone ringing)

- Yes.

Oh, Thomas.

What?

What?

You're joking!

Nah, I know.

You never joke.

A generator?

Are you sure?

Oh, I underestimated Gabe Lared.

No, don't you worry, Thomas.

I'll take care of it.

(phone clicking)

(hynoptic noise)

(laughing)

(festive music blaring, hands clapping)

(people cheering)

(voices chattering)

(distant, festive music)

(festive music blaring)

(hypnotic tune)

(hypnotic tune)

(hypnotic tune)

- Couldn't even get the women

to start a good gossip session.

- It's impossible to
tempt them when they think

they're enjoying
themselves in a good cause.

- Don't worry.

Here comes some help now.

(festive music)

- Mr. Esteem.

- [Mr. Esteem] Well,
that pie looks very good.

- Well, have a piece.

- Ah, thank you.

- [Pastor David] Ah,
that'll be a contribution

for the new generator.

- Yes, yes.

- Thank you.

- [Voiceover] Attention! Attention!

(trumpet music)

- We have just passed the $10,000 mark.

(crowd applauding and cheering)

(clearing his throat)

- My good people of Hurrah.

I too am concerned with
the loss of your weekends,

due to the power shortage.

Now I thought your idea of a generator

was a brilliant solution.

Unfortunately,

when I informed the power
company of our plans,

I was told,

that if we hold on to
two days of their fees,

we will be penalized.

And my bills will be higher.

Now, you all know how I love this town,

but business is business.

So,

unless we go on as we are,

for the sake of the factory,

I would be forced to move,

to Rivertown,

where the power from the river is free.

And we do not have any
potential employee difficulties.

(funny, drooping sound)

(laughing)

- Well, like it says in the bible,

there's no use crying over spilled milk.

Maybe we can change our
services to another day.

(water splashing)

- Oh!

Well, like it says in
the bible, Mr. Downs.

- [Gabe] Its not the power
company he's worried about,

it's the power of God.

- [Pastor David] Whaddaya mean, Gabe?

- I've never met an atheist yet

who wasn't mad at God about something?

Esteem would try t plow
Christians under if he could.

Why?

Why should he try to destroy something

that he doesn't believe in?

- That's very interesting.

- It's the truth that'll set you free.

- The truth is,

you know nothing about factory problems.

- Human problems have been
with us for thousands of years.

The place doesn't change that.

- I'm sorry to put a spoke
in your wheel, preacher.

- I can see your penitence.

(laughing)

Some people have to be
dragged screaming and kicking

into the enlightened age,

but they'll make it.

Thanks to me, they'll be new
science books in the schools.

(laughing)

Isn't it in Job, about,

they'll be groping in
darkness with no light?

- You quote scripture
with some familiarity.

- Even the devil, hey Thomas?

- Hmm, yes, certainly.

- The light each man should
follow is his own intellect.

His ability to think!

- I see.

A man should follow his own
light, like Genghis Khan?

Attila?

Hitler?

I wonder, Mr. Esteem.

Do you know Luke 11:35?

(suspenseful music)

See to it then that the light
within you is not darkness.

(door clicking)

(mellow, sad music)

- [Belzee] Fail!

- [Pastor David] Forgive me, Father.

- [Belzee] Fail!

- [Pastor David] Maybe I
should listen to my own,

preaching about your will.

- [Abaddon] Fail!

- [Pastor David] I should've checked out

the generator situation
before letting them

get their hopes up to
be dashed down again.

Poor Esteem.

Slugged him with that
scripture and walked off.

(demons hissing)

I did just the was he
expected of a preacher.

Forgive me, Lord, for failing you.

I failed the people.

- [Abaddon] Fail!

I failed a soul in trouble.

- Fail.

- [Pastor David] I failed
my calling in your name.

- Fail.

- My sermon verse for Sunday.

What hypocrisy, me preaching.

- Fail.

- [Pastor David] You're
God, my strong hold.

Why have you rejected me?

Why must I go about mourning,
oppressed by the enemy?

- [Abaddon] Fail.

- [Pastor David] Send forth
your light and your truth.

(demons grunting)

Let them guide me.

Let them bring me to your holy mountain,

to the place where you dwell.

Then when I go to the
alter of God, to God,

my joy and my delight.

Lord, send me your light and your truth.

Let me help these people.

(mellow music)

Guide us in your will,

and not let us be oppressed by the enemy.

Do not let us make enemies of
those we were sent to help.

(knocking at the door)

(sighing)

(door clicking)

Peter!

- David.

You forgot I was coming.

- Yes.

(laughing)

- That's alright.

You used to do that in
the seminary all the time.

The hours I spent in the library

waiting for my absent minded roommate.

How are ya?

- I'm in trouble.

I'll tell you 'bout it over some coffee.

(door shutting)

(door shutting)

So what are you doing now?

- After I dropped out of the seminary

I cleverly went to work for my father.

- I forgot what he does.

- Smith, Smith, Smith & Johnson?

(laughing)

Well, we're the.
- Peter.

(light switch clicking)

I just remembered what he does.

You're a miracle.

- Ha?

- Come on.

(exciting music)

(door clicking shut)

I came to apologize for
last night at the Bizarre.

- Apologize for comparing
me to Genghis Khan?

- I came to ask forgiveness
for my rudeness.

- Now, now, preacher.

As it says in your proverbs,

even a fool is thought
wise if he keep silent.

- There's a better one for me.

A fool finds no pleasure in understanding,

but delights in airing his own opinion.

- Perhaps you're guilty
of zeal without knowledge.

It's a common fault in your profession.

There might be hope for you as
a man if you'd see the light.

- [Pastor David] I could
say the same for you.

- [Mr. Esteem] We're talking
about different lights.

I believe in the spirit of man.

- The lamp of the Lord
searches the spirit of a man.

It searches out his inmost being.

- You're a fool, Whitcom.

There's no lamp, there's no Lord.

Your god does not exist!

- Then why do you hate him
so much if he doesn't exist?

- [Mr. Esteem] If e does, his
cruelty is a sin against man!

- Ah, I see.

The Lord's discipline for you was painful.

And you lost heart, and
you turned away from him.

- This conversation is ridiculous.

One day, preacher,

you'll realize that the god
you believe in is destructive.

You'll find yourself disabled,

rather than healed by your faith.

And it'll be too late.

- My dear brother, only
a god who loves us would

discipline us like a father.

- I had a father.

He believed in your god.

And your god killed him!

- The son of God shed his blood for you.

- [Mr. Esteem] Don't gimme that trash!

I heard it all as the son of a preacher,

and I don't wanna hear it anymore!

Get out!

(suspenseful music)

- You may have turned
away from him, Mr. Esteem,

but he never turned away from you.

- Out!

- I'm sorry I didn't have
the right words to help.

A wounded spirit is hard to bear,

especially when you won't
go to the only physician.

(door clicking)

You shared something important with me,

and I appreciate it.

- And what is that?

- You're not an atheist, Mr. Esteem.

(door clicking)

- What did he say about the power company?

- I didn't have a chance to get it in.

I was going to apologize
and tell him about it

when he became upset.

- What's he going to do?

- [Pastor David] Suffer.

As he has been for a long time.

- We still going to our meeting?

- Yes, Peter.

I think through you, God's
power is going to be felt

at the power company.

(snare drum music)

- I thought you might like to know that

the Reverend Whitcom and some other people

are on the way to the power company, sir.

- Thank you.

(phone buttons clicking)

Put me through to Madding.

This is Phil Esteem.

- Don't worry, Phil.

They aren't going to talk me into

a generator or anything else.

They're here now, bye.

(snare drum music)

I have ten minutes folks,
and then I have a meeting.

- That's sufficient.

If Mrs. Salem may be seated.

Gabe, David.

Now, Mr. Madding,

I represent the firm of
Smith, Smith, Smith & Johnson.

Perhaps you're familiar with the company.

- You set up municipal electric systems,

and service them.

- Obviously, setting up
their own electric company

is a viable solution to Hurrah's problem.

- [Mr Madding] Nonsense.

Now we have a very real

shortage of power here, Mr.?

- Johnson.

- Power is available by simply
adjusting the time factors

as Mr. Esteem has done.

- [Peter Johnson] Not
acceptable to the majority

of citizens of Hurrah.

- Definitely not acceptable.

- If you attempt to set
up your own company,

ma'am and gentlemen,

you will want to use our equipment,

which is already in service.

The cost would be nearly $300,000.

(funny trumpet tune)

You must recognize the
economic disadvantages.

- Oh, on the contrary.

We would use our own contractors.

You would be forced to
remove all your equipment,

which would then be
rendered useless to you.

For an approximate cost of $250,000.

(funny trumpet tune)

- [Gabe] It seems to us,
Mr. Madding, that the lost

of revenue for two days is a bargain,

compared to the lost of
revenue for an entire town.

- We may have a solution
to your power problem.

And ours.

- A uh,

generator?

- A generator.

- A generator?

- But you assured me.

I don't care if.

What?

A municipal electric system?

I see.

I see, well.

Very well.

(phone clicking)

(happy trumpet music)

I seriously underestimated that young man.

- That makes two of us.

(cheering and clapping)

(festive marching band music)

(festive marching band music)

hypnotic, galactic sound)

(people chattering)

(people chattering)

(people cheering and clapping)

(triumphant band music)

- Mr. Esteem.

Mr Esteem.

The Lord can light your way back again

if you'd only ask.

- He made me dwell in darkness.

Like those long dead.

- And the light shineth in the darkness.

(mysterious organ music)

(door slamming)

- We can show them.

You have enough in the little black book

to ruin the whole town.

(thought provoking music)

(paper rustling)

(slapping sound)

(church bells ringing)

- Well, I promise you I won't ask you

to work on your next holiday.

- Hey, I wouldn't shepherd's
hook to get bent out of shape.

(feet shuffling)

- [Peter] The flock is back in church.

Why the long face.

Ah, you're worried about
the wolf still on the prowl.

- More likely a sheep
that thinks he's a wolf.

- You sure it isn't a wolf
that you think is a sheep?

- Nah, judge not.

- [Peter] You better keep
your animals straight.

One of these days you're
gonna put your hand out

to the wrong animal and,

- Have faith.

- Have common sense.

Be sure the Lord is leading you, David

- Peter.

- You may want a perfect
tally for your flock.

The Lord, he has his reason
for keeping the wolves at bay.

- Esteem may be a different
sheep from all the rest.

I don't think he's really a wolf.

- Yeah?

A wolf is a wolf, even in
black sheep's clothing.

The Lord wants all his
sheep through the gate.

- [Peter] Yeah, but you can't pen up

the wolf with the sheep.

(sighing)

I wish I could be here to make sure

that sheep's bleat isn't a bark.

I'll keep praying,

but let me know the results.

(door clicking)

Goodbye, ole shepherd
of the mid-west hills.

(car cranking)

- Thanks.

- Sure.

(church bells ringing)

(crickets chirping)

(mellow music)

- [Mr. Esteem] In the path where I walk,

men have hidden a,

a snare for me.

- [Pastor David] The Lord is
my light and my salvation.

Whom shall I fear?

The Lord is the strength of my life.

Whom shall I be afraid?

- The Lord is my light and my salvation.

Whom shall I fear?

The Lord is the strength of my life.

Of whom then, shall I be afraid?

(grunting painfully)

I go to the Father now.

Dear Lord.

Don't worry.

Peace be with you.

He'll, he'll never leave you.

(coughing)

He'll never.

- Dad!

Dad!

Dad!

- And that's how he let his servant die.

The moment, the very moment,

he was quoting his favorite psalm.

- The Lord loved your father.

Don't you know the rest of that psalm?

- Why would I?

To memorize my father's
last helpless thoughts?

- It goes on to say,

one thing I ask of the Lord.

This is what I seek,

that I may dwell in the house of the Lord,

all the days of my life.

To gaze upon the beauty of the Lord.

- Are you saying that
my father wanted to die?

No, he wanted to live
forever with the Lord.

- So he died?

- Death is the gateway
to eternity, Mr. Esteem.

Your father certainly wasn't afraid of it.

He was trying to quote Hebrews 13:5.

Didn't you recognize it?

Never will I leave you.

Never will I forsake you.

- He did leave me!

- You blame the shepherd
because a sheep ran away?

- He let me go!

He let me get separated.

(pages rustling)

- For I am convinced,

neither death, nor life,
neither angels nor demons,

nor anything else in all
creation will be able to

separate us from the love of God,

that is in Christ Jesus, our Lord.

- And if I wanted to come back?

- You follow the shepherd's
lantern back to the light.

The lantern your father showed
you when you were a boy.

The word of God.

- The bible.

(mellow music)

David.

Would you light me a few matches?

- First John 1:9.

If we confess our sins,
he is faithful and just,

and will forgive us our sins,

and purify us from all unrighteousness.

- I see.

This sheep has been going his own way.

Now turn around and
come back to the flock.

(mellow music)

(galactic noise and whooshing)

- The switch is turned on,

and the generator's power
illuminates the darkness.

In a greater way, this
book, the Word of God,

lights our way to Christ.

Our savior, our shepherd.

Let's turn now, to Second Peter 1:19,

for some final words.

And we have the word of the
prophets made more certain,

and you would do well
to pay attention to it,

as to a light shining in a dark place,

until the day dawns and the morning star

arises in your hearts.

Let us pray.

Dear Father, thank you for
giving us the light, your word.

Use it to open our eyes today.

Help us to see Jesus clearly,

and acknowledge him as Savior and Lord.

Amen.

Now in your hymnals, number 344.

Please stand.

First verse, and the fourth verse.

♫ Savior, like the shepherd, lead us

♫ Much we need thy tender care

♫ In thy blessed pastures, feed us

♫ For our use thy folds prepare

♫ Blessed Jesus, blessed Jesus

♫ Thou has bought us thine we are

♫ Blessed Jesus, blessed Jesus

♫ Thou has bought us thine we are

(phone beeping)

- Back to the Arabian desert.

- Maybe,

Mongolia.

- More likely Siberia.

- Yes, sir.

Yes, sir.

Ah, yes, sir.

(flame blowing)

Yes, sir.

Oh, oh, oh, oh yes, sir.

We're all well aware of that.

But after all, sir,
losing the first battle

is not losing the war.

(laughing)

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir.

♫ Blessed Jesus, bless Jesus

♫ Thou hast loved us, love us still

- Yes, sir.

(flame blowing)

(dial tone)

(hypnotic music)

- Well?

He says we can have another chance,

but if we fail again,

for our next assignment
we'll be wearing snow shoes.

- Then it is Siberia.

- He also would like a little more

devotion from his demons, or,

- Or?

- He'll make us all into pilot
lights for hot water heaters.

♫ I am the good shepherd

- We'll not underestimate our enemy again.

♫ The shepherd of love

- The next battle,

will be ours.

(hypnotic music)

(happy, marching band music)