Where the Scary Things Are (2022) - full transcript

Bran here with another
Bran-tastic video.

Today, we're doing another
episode of Bum Fites.

He's in there.
Get 'em, get 'em!

Hey, guys?
You want this 20?

Well, come and get it!

Fight each other!

Yeah, come on!

- Keep an eye out for that security guard.
- On it.

I wanna fire up some of the
effects and stuff, like the lights.

Wait, you can do that?

- I can do that.
- Roll on each other.



- That'd be so cool.
- This is gonna be Monday!

You mean money, Bran.

That's what I said, dingus.

Yeah! Get up and fight now!

Hey, where'd you
find these guys?

That doesn't look like our bum.

You know, you should
really blur out those faces.

They can sue
for not giving permission.

These guys
don't have money to sue.

They're homeless.

Our...

Our guard buddy's working.

Let's go.

I don't get it.



I don't get it.

He has such a hatred for them.
I mean, Ted...

Dude, Ted's a legend here.

Do you remember
the groundhog stuff animal?

Oh, my gosh.
I love Ted.

You little perv!
I swear to God!

Don't even think about
dokking me.

I'm just messing a little.
Chill.

- What did you say to me?
- Chill.

Don't tell me to chill.

- All right.
- Got it?

Bran, I swear to God,
if you're still filming my ass,

I'm gonna kill you.

Hey, you kids!

Shit.

Run.

Stay right there!

Come on, Bran, go!

Come on!

Run!

- Get to the Dokking Station!
- No kidding!

Stay right there!

Shit.

Hey!

That to
make sure we can't prove you shot at us?

You a lawyer?

No, but his dad is.

You little boys
making big boy smut

with her and that camera?

Wouldn't you like to know.

This is private property

and this is closed until fall.

You're trespassing.
You know that, right?

- We didn't see any signs.
- Yeah right, kid.

I call the police or your
parents. Which is it?

Why don't you
catch your breath first, fatso?

What a dick.

All the way out from the city
to deal with this shit.

The place is closed, Snack.

How hard is that to understand?

You get hurt out there,
we could lose everything.

- The guy shot at us!
- Knock it off with that shit!

I got you and this Dokkers thing
all figured out.

That Ayla girl,
she doesn't like you.

She's using you, son.

Girls like her
don't like guys like you.

I work tonight,

and Mike's coming over
before I get home, so you know.

How about a goddamn thank you?

No boyfriend.

You hang out
with these loser kids.

Where is that gonna
get you in life?

Wasting what God and I gave you.

Yeah, because Mike's some prize.

You think you're better than me?
Hmm?

You little bitch!

I should have let that guy
call the cops.

You didn't eat
anything through this.

You're lucky
that cop let you go.

You need to make
better choices, Mighty.

He wasn't a cop, Ma.

Turn the sounds off
your insulin pump, baby.

That thing smells.

I got it all on video!

He shot at us, but he erased it!

I can't prove it,

but it would have
been huge online!

It would have
blown up my channel!

I'm gonna moteltize my channel,
you wait!

Ma!

Ma! You even listening?

It's monetize.

It's monetize your channel.

That's what I said!
Monetize!

Yep, John, just stall them.
Yeah, 20 minutes out.

I know, I had
an emergency with my son.

I gotta drop him off real quick.
I'll be right there, 15 minutes.

Okay.

You come home
right off the bus from now on.

No Field of Screams,
no Dokking Station, no Dokkers.

No more of that nonsense.

Your mother and I will discuss
what to do with you.

What's there to discuss?

That place
is closed for the season.

You keep trespassing there.

You know that's a crime, right?

The man shot at you, Max.
Is any of this sinking in?

Wait. You believe he shot at us?

You know why?
Because you stopped.

Only a gun
would make you idiots stop.

We also need to talk about
this dokking shit.

- What's there to talk about?
- Yes or no?

You and your friends are blackmailing
kids online with dirt you get on them.

That's dokking, right?

You call yourselves The Dokkers?

Can't even spell it right.

Go ahead.

Defend it, Max.

Not with Max facts.
Defend the indefensible.

I sue, Max.

I don't get sued.

What were you doing, Scribble?

Did I just see student records
on your screen again?

No.

Did that ten-day suspension
and fine teach you anything?

Check with the tech department.

They can see what I do in there.

I want your things searched.

I know what I saw.

So do I.

What's with the wink?

You know what I learned
from last time?

I got my ass beat

and my best gaming computer
sold to pay for that fine.

You screw me again,
and I'm gonna screw back.

Now you're threatening
a teacher?

I'm promising.

Maybe you get dokked

and the district gets some pics
I found of you back in the day.

Some reefer
with the frat boys...

drinking beer
from some sorority chick's vag.

All right, another example.

You kids, I believe,
if I'm not mistaken,

have all grown up
with the urban legend

of the Halloween candy
spiked with razors and needles.

Anyone here ever heard of that?

Heard of that? Show of hands.

Show of hands
if you've heard of that. Yep.

Yeah. Me too.

Even when I was a kid.
Question:

Who here knows a single person
who that's actually happened to?

- Yeah, it, um...
- Max.

...it happened back in the 70's.

Yes, back in the 70's.
A father poisoned his son.

That was a single
isolated case, Max.

Well, there have been more,
you know, copycats.

Okay, well prove it.

Find me one.

No, right now. I want you
to get your phone out,

that's fine,
you have my permission.

Go ahead and find a single case

other than the 70's guy.

I don't think you will.

What I believe happened
is that the media

sensationalized it.

Blew it up until eventually...
it became fact.

How many of you
have seen this character?

This school,
just like all over the country,

received a warning
that this image

could show up along with text,

urging children
to kill themselves.

Yeah, and it's true.

I mean, they embedded
that message into online videos

and then they used apps
to send it to kids.

I mean, are you
saying this isn't true?

No, no.

What I'm saying is that no one's

provided any evidence, Max.

That's the key component.
This missing evidence.

Lockjaw, that's the urban legend
around here, right?

The creepy guy that supposedly
lives in the sludge ponds.

Anyone here ever
actually seen Lockjaw?

Ooh, boogeyman's coming.
Be afraid.

No evidence,
no reason to be scared.

- Yet, this and all the others...
- Just look at it.

- It's not that scary.
- ...spread like wildfire

because of social media.

These are what I like to term

your razors in the Halloween
candy urban legends.

They're not just urban legends,
Mr. Lewis.

It's true.
I've read it in the news.

This stuff is all real.

Unfortunately,
real suicides do occur.

However, not a single
one of them

is in any way proven
to have any correlation

or connection to this,
Red fish, bulgy-eye guy

or any other suicide challenge
or any other urban legend.

Which is why...

you all are going to,
drum roll...

You're gonna create
your own urban legends.

I want you to create
an urban legend

to see how false information

becomes accepted as fact...

...without proper diligence.

Why is she crying?

She's always
crying about something.

Jeni?

Jeni, look at me.

Jeni, are you okay?

You need to see the nurse?

- You do?
- Mm-hmm.

Okay, that's fine.

Go ahead and close your books.
That's fine. Come on.

This-this stuff scares me.

Everything fucking scares her.

What's that, Ayla?

Nothing, Mr. Lewis.

Uh, everyone,
go ahead and get a head start

on picking your urban legends.

I want you to try
to write five right now.

It's ridiculous.

You're the only one
other than me

who knows how to hold a camera.

Besides,
this one's gonna be big.

Dude, you've been saying that
for every video.

Just get Mighty
to hold the camera.

- I don't wanna hold the camera.
- Hold the goddamn camera.

Mighty's a watcher, not a doer.

Prick.

Well, besides that I'm grounded,

and I'm tired of Bum Wars
'cause it's stupid.

No, it's not.
People love it.

Yeah, and by people
you mean you.

Yeah, check the comments, Bran.
Nobody likes your Bum Wars.

It's Bum Fites, idiots.

You know, guys,
I think my dad's right.

We should probably
find a better hangout.

I mean,
what if the guard comes back?

Get the sand out your Gina.

It's vagina.

Mr. Lewis.
Do you have a moment?

Come on in, boss lady.

So I understand you
had an incident in class today.

Jeni Lynn.

Oh, yeah,
she gets scared super easily.

I let her leave class
a little early.

Well, someone
filed a complaint, Brent.

Complaint, really?

Was it her parents?

No, a-a student.
Someone in your class.

Uh... can you say who it was?

I removed the name.

Can you read that
in here in these dim lights?

Uh...

Okay, I gotta say,
Principle Gress,

this-this sounds like a complaint
against the school, not me.

Yeah, well, we called her down.

She said it happened right after

you showed another
scary picture in class.

Um, all of that was included
in the lesson plan.

Now, what you're referencing
was central to the lesson.

Suicide is central
to a history lesson?

We need to revisit
your lesson plans.

You approved them
each week already.

Yes, but to be fair, Brent,

this isn't the first complaint
we've had about you.

No, that's not fair.
This one is not about me at all.

It doesn't seem to be
about me or my content.

No, no, this person
is upset and wondering

why Jeni Lynn is allowed to be
in a regular education classroom.

"Jeni holds back
the entire class,

and Mr. Lewis
can't teach for 15 minutes

without having to stop
and see if she's okay."

- That's true.
- It's certainly about you, Brent.

You're an
out of the box teacher.

Talk tomorrow.

Aren't you worried about that
security guard coming back?

He ain't coming back.

Max's dad talked to him, I bet.

Well, if you say so.

Ooh, that's a good one.

How did you get these?

You don't wanna know?

If she finds out,
we're both dead.

She ain't gonna find out.

What the fuck
are you guys laughing at?

Ayla, they were probably just
laughing about, you know, Jeni Russel.

Like how she freaked out
in class today.

- You know, she's a baby.
- It's pathetic.

She doesn't belong
in that class.

I filed a complaint
about her today in the office.

Seriously?

We are in the same class
as a girl

who stops us
every ten minutes...

because she's
scared of something.

Is Mr. Lewis in trouble now?

No, I don't have
any issue with him.

It's not his fault
she's in there.

I'm just sick of her.

You know why
she's in that class?

Because her parents
want her in there.

It's a joke.

I'm offended as someone
who gets the same grades as her.

Aren't you?

Not sure complaining was cool.

Mr. Lewis made you
look like an idiot today.

I'm down for dokking Lewis.

No, I...

I want this urban legend
project to rock.

How?

We make it way more scary.

Like really scary.

And then we make our own
online challenge.

You're not talking about like
getting kids to kill themselves

like for real, are you?

We will go right to the edge.

Yes! I'm in!

You're listening to
Where the Scary Things Are.

I'm your host Monster Mash Ken.

And with missing people,
where do they go?

You see all these different
cases. What are you thinking?

Alien abductions,
mass disappearances.

I mean, you know, the rapture.

Has something
religious occurred?

I have no idea
but I can't imagine

what the families are
going through, it's crazy.

It's hard to believe that
people still disappear these days.

With all the technology
out there...

Hey, Vector, come here.

How do I disappear?

Haven't you ever
wanted to disappear?

Nineteen.

- Another card?
- No.

Nine... 14.

Eighteen.
You win.

Come on.

Dude, you can't knock
on my window so damn loud.

- You're gonna wake up my parents.
- So?

Okay. Why would I
expect you to get it?

Where are we going?

Follow me, Mr. My Parents
Are Gonna Hear Me.

You're gonna wake up my parents.

- Holy shit, shut the hell up.
- No!

Just follow me, idiot.

Don't cut off heads.

Yeah, I know, I know.

Just record the video.

I can file my face out in post.

You mean, tile your face, Bran.

Wait, why do you
need to tile your face?

Bran here with another
Bran-tastic video.

Welcome to the first episode
of Bum Wars.

Dude, bring it down.

Shut the hell up and shoot.

Bran, what the hell?

Bran, what the hell?
Jesus Christ!

Tada!

Go, go, go!

Bran,
what the hell? Jesus Christ!

Tada!

Go, go, go, go!

Hey, guys, my parents said

I can't be
in The Dokkers anymore.

I-I'm sorry.
I can't do anything about it.

Hey, guys.

My parents said I can't be in...

Shit!

Shit, oh, my God!

Oh, Jesus Christ.

Shit!

Guys, guys,
you're not gonna believe this!

There's something in the pond!

Nothing could
live in there, Snack.

Okay, well I heard it over there
and it jumped in there.

Get off the weed, Snack.

Mighty needs to be fed.

My blood sugar's low, dumb-ass.

Can somebody fart
and liven this up?

What the hell was that?

Is that the guard?

No.

What the hell is that thing?

Ew, be careful.

It can't be human.

It's covered in crockamoley.

Guacamole, dumb-ass.

We need to find a place
to hide this thing.

At least until we figure out
what the hell it is.

Keep it moving, guys.

Ah, dammit.

Guys, let's just
get it in there.

Max, find something to restrain
this thing for the time being.

I mean, I know, but just...

There's gotta be
something around here.

I mean, this place
is littered with shit.

Just ropes, chains,
I don't know.

Whatever will hold it.

On it.

I mean, it looks so human.

What if it can talk?

Speak softly, carry a big stick.

We need to get it
food and water.

How do you know that?

I mean, it's alive, isn't it?

I mean, it has to eat and drink.

Well, hey, kangaroo rats
can go their whole lives

- without drinking water, so.
- Max, look at me.

Does that look like
a goddamn kangaroo to you?

Oh, Jesus, Mighty.

Can you turn that damn
insulin pump off?

Everybody shits
on the diabetic kid.

Well, at the least
the restraints are holding.

Yeah, for now.

Why the sniffing?

Guys, what the hell
is it smelling?

Dinner.

Bran, hold up.

Give me the camera.

- No.
- Give me the camera.

You'll get it back
when it's time.

Delete those perv shots
he's got of me, too.

All right.

I-I won't post anything.
I swear.

That's right, you're not. Bye.

Guys, get him outta here.

We'll catch up.

- It'll be fine. Relax.
- Shut up.

If it gets loose, we're dead.

How long have we
been coming here?

I don't know.

A few years, I guess. Why?

Right.

And we haven't seen
this thing until today.

I mean, it's gotta be new here.

I've sure as hell never seen it.

Exactly.

What happens when this place
opens up for Halloween?

We can't have this thing
going nuts on customers.

- That would be bad.
- Yeah.

For me.

I can't lose this place.

This is my escape.

I mean, you know that.

Better than anybody else.

So we're really gonna do this?

I think I need this.

So do I.

My house is just as empty.

I'm gonna hang out
until your mom gets home.

You should get inside.

Thanks for walking me home.

You should come to my place.

You could stay over if you want.

Good night.

Wanna hang out?

- When's my mom getting home?
- Whenever.

I'm the babysitter.

Where's the remote?

Tomatoes.

Four, five, six, seven, eight...

I've gotta get you tied back up.

Hey, Dad, um,
have you ever heard of Lockjaw?

Yeah, it comes from
tetanus or rabies.

Why, are you feeling sick?

No, I'm talking
about the weird guy

people say used to live by
Field of Screams.

Yeah, there was this one guy.

I don't remember if people said he
was a molester, crazy or something.

A lot of homeless people
out that way,

which is why we don't want you
hanging out there.

One of the reasons, anyway.

Well, I mean...
I mean, did you ever see him?

- Was he real?
- I work with facts, Max.

Not Max facts.

And, no, I never saw him
or know anyone who has.

All right, all right.
Cool.

Cool, cool. Thanks.

I'm less worried about
homeless child molesters

than I am this Ayla girl
you like.

Oh, goddammit.
Okay, Dad, I don't like her.

Especially like that, so...

Your mother says your underwear
in the laundry says otherwise.

Facts, Max.

So who taught you how to shoot?

Wait.

Here, like this.

Both hands up.

It's not like the movies.

Just relax your shoulders...
then shoot.

I wanna scare people.

I mean...

this could be great.

Does it scare you?

Only if it gets loose.

Let's make sure
that doesn't happen then.

Seriously?

No raw hamburger?

Monsters always go for
raw hamburger in the movies.

We didn't have any.

Who doesn't have hamburger?

- That pump thing smells.
- It's Phenol.

It's a chemical they use in his
insulin or something like that.

Is that a Max fact?

Look it up, ass hat.

And that's why, Max,

you're going to be writing
all the online content for this.

Once Scribble has a page up,
Bran, you get the footage.

But everything you do

goes through me first,
all right?

I don't want you
posting none of this.

And don't show anybody
who's not a Dokker.

- Got it?
- Got it.

Scribble will be able to see
everything that you do remotely.

Just so you know.

Do it. Please.

It... it can smell fear.

Is that Max fact
or is that real?

Motherfucker!

- You son of a bitch!
- Bran, what is wrong with you?

Where do you think you're going?

- You think this is...
- You think this is funny?

- What the hell is wrong with you?
- Waste of space!

Everybody shut the hell up!

- Shut the hell up!
- We're done with you now!

Okay, it's not just a Max fact,
okay.

As soon as the thing
starts sniffing, it goes nuts.

It's Mighty's insulin pump
setting it off.

- It's not me.
- Yes, it is.

- Come on.
- It's not the insulin pump,

It's not the insulin pump.
It's the insulin.

All right, that thing
gives off a smell, right?

So maybe it thinks
it's the smell of fear.

What?

How can anything smell fear?

Um, no, I believe it.

I mean, a few years ago
before I moved,

there was a dog,
it was a-a big dog

a couple houses down from me.

And, man, I swear to God,

like, if you showed that you
were even a little bit afraid,

it would go crazy.

Maybe...

Maybe it's like... a bear.

You know how people say...

it can smell when a girl...

Okay, come on, Bran.

- I don't have my period!
- Come on.

- What the hell?
- Prove it then!

Get outta here!

- I swear to God! Take him out!
- Everybody settle down.

Let's just sit down.

All right?

What now?

Guys, this is what
we're gonna do, all right?

You and Max...

figure out whatever you can.

Snack, you and Bran,
you guys have to get

as much coverage
on this as possible.

We need that proof.

Guys, what the hell
are we doing?

We need to call the cops
or at least our parents.

This thing could be an alien
for all we know.

We are in over our heads.

You okay, Snack?

I need to talk to you
once everyone leaves.

You haven't told anyone?

No, Ayla.

And-and I swore I wouldn't,
didn't I?

I mean, yeah, but...

you seem kinda sketchy, Snack.

Do you still wanna tell?

No.

I hope not.

Got monster shit on me.

Everything good with Snack?

Yeah, it's fine.

Come here.

Something to cheer you up.

Bran's perv pics he got of you.

Thanks.

But wait...

there's more.

Jeni's personal cell.

You didn't?

This is gonna be great.

Thank you so much.

Wait, I have something
I wanna show you first.

Why don't you change then?

You smell like monster shit.

I called you both here because,

well, obviously you
get A's on the project.

I mean, yeah,
that video's incredible.

Ten-thousand views
in just over two weeks.

You definitely
hit the objective.

This thing, how'd you do it?

Well, it's Crockamoley.

I'm sorry, Crock-Crock...
Crockamoley? Not Lockjaw?

That's the urban legend
around here, right?

It's not Lockjaw,
it's-it's Crockamoley.

Okay, all right.
Well, Crockamoley

is one scary special effect,
let me say.

Well, it's actually kinda funny
that you say that.

Yeah, we have a...
We have a friend.

- Tom.
- Yeah, Tom.

He, uh, you know, he does makeup
and special effects for movies.

Not anything major but indie.

Well, let me tell you
to tell Tom,

I think he's gonna win
an Oscar someday.

This project is incredible.

He went above and beyond
and so did you both.

But I have to ask you
to take this video down.

Um, uh, why?

Well, gun violence
for one thing, Max.

- They're digital effects.
- I know that, we've had complaints.

Parents are very upset
over the content.

They're describing it as
disturbing. They're saying it's scary.

They're saying the content
in this video is sick, Max.

You both did... a little
too good of a job, I'm afraid.

How can you tell it's us?
You can't see our faces.

Well, because it's a high school
class project and you're teenagers.

You can't keep a secret.
All the kids know, Max.

They're probably just jealous

'cause their crappy little
Photoshop projects

didn't turn out
nearly as good as ours did.

Look, between you and me,
I understand that,

and I couldn't agree more, Ayla.

Now, but this project
has gotten me in more hot water

with administration
than I care to touch on.

- Did Jeni lose it again?
- Punish us for doing a great job.

- Yeah, I get it.
- No, Max, you're not being punished.

You still get the A's, okay.

It's just you-you made it
a little too lifelike.

- It's a little too realistic.
- How is that our problem?

Mr. Lewis, you can't
connect it to the school.

You can't tell
who's in the video.

I-I mean,
we even spoofed the IP address

to make it look like
it comes from New Mexico.

Look, we have thousands
of comments.

This is how things spread.

That's what you told us.

"Oh, my God!"
"This is so good."

"It looks so real."

"Show us more Crockamoley."

The comments just keep going.
It says, it says...

- That...
- What? What does it say?

Nothing.

Look, I'm asking you both...

with massive respect
for all of the hard work

that went into this video,
please take the video down.

Mr. Lewis, with all due respect for
everything you've taught us about free speech,

standing up for ourselves
and censorship...

No.

So I'm guessing you're gonna
fail us now, huh?

No.

Well, it started out great.

Now everyone thinks it's fake.

I mean, Ayla,
that's the internet.

People shit on everything.

Ten-thousand views
is pretty good.

It was a good run.

You wouldn't know a good run
if it hit you in your fat ass.

The views have died off.

It's because of these haters.
These losers!

God, I hate people!

People are over it.
It's boring.

How the hell are we supposed
to do the Crockamoley challenge

if everyone says it's fake?

Guys, we risked our lives
for an A.

And then we are told
to take it down.

Another lie!

Another person screws us over!

Nothing ever turns out
like you're promised.

God, I'd like to throw
one of those haters in there!

Yeah, record that.

And then we'll post it.

I mean, that's what we
should do, right?

Come on!
We should do that, right?

Um, sorry guys.
I figured out why it's beeping.

It's got a leak or something.

I'll just fix that.

Shut the hell up!

Tada!

Tada!

Why are you doing this?

Why?

We can't do this.
We can't...

Get off. Stop!

Please.

So what?

You gonna fucking tell?

Is that it?

You swore.

Why are you scared of us?

I'm not.

What would Crockamoley think?

I have to get out of here.

So go.

This is messed up.

I mean, what if he flips out?

What do we do?
What then?

Shut up, you blubbering baby.
This is great.

All right,
you have my attention.

I haven't eaten in a few days.

All right, man.
Well, you're in luck.

All you gotta do, come with us.

We'll give you like...
a hundred bucks.

You! You're the one
who set my hat on fire.

Hey, hey, man.
You're good.

All is good.
He won't touch you.

We promise.

Come on.
It's only a short walk.

Do you wanna see?

See what?

You want me to go in here?

We're gonna go in with you.

Oh, good, 'cause for a second

I thought you guys
might leave me the fuck alone.

What's in there anyway, huh?

Are you guys buying me a car?

Just go, man.

What the hell
is wrong with you kids, huh?

Why are you doing this?

We're shooting a video.

We just wanna see your reaction.
Come on.

The last time

I starred in one of your videos,

you set me on fire while I
was asleep, you little shit.

Just go!

What the hell is that?

Is this some sort of joke?

Huh?

What the hell is this?

Is this some sort
of prank video, huh?

This shit is awful.

We just killed that guy!

There's another Crockamoley
video or whatever the hell it is.

Did you see it?

The shit looks real.

- Damn. How'd they do that?
- I know, right?

Oh shit,
we're already late to class.

Is this
some sort of prank video, huh?

This shit is awful.

So what time do you
think you're gonna get here?

Give me, like, ten minutes.

All right.
So plan on an hour then.

I always come on time.

Yeah. We'll see.

I came to get something.

I'm not as stupid as you think.

I need to get it.

I can't believe you guys
hangout in this shit hole.

That's what I say about home.

Is it in there?

In there.

Does your boyfriend in there
think he's gonna jump me?

No.

Definitely not.

Come and get it.

You think I'm fucking stupid?

Where's my fucking gun?

Shut up!

Geez.

Hi. Jeni?

It's-it's Ayla.

No, please, don't hang up.

I... I just wanted to say

that I'm so sorry...

for the way
I've treated you since...

forever.

I wanna make it up to you.

Is this all
part of the project, hmm?

Convince the teacher
this is real?

It is, Mr. Lewis, I-I swear.

Everything you saw
on that channel is real.

No, it-it looks real.

It looks real,
I'll give you that,

but, look, I still think

y'all are trying to Punk me
or something.

Are you
recording this right now?

- No.
- Are you recording this?

No, no, please. No.

You know, Max,
he came and told me

that you guys
have a friend who does effects.

- Is that not true?
- No, those are his Max facts.

- It's not true?
- No.

So I'm supposed to not believe
his reasonable story

for yours about a monster
that feeds on homeless people?

Yeah, okay.

I'll take you there.

Tonight.

Why? Is it for the likes?

Because I hate her.

Aw, you scared, Jeni?

Please!

Please, just let me go.

Please.

Since first grade,

you've cried,
pissed your pants...

...dragged every class
we're in to a halt.

We get told,
oh, you're just different.

But you get
the same grades as me!

We're not the same, bitch!

Now...

see the difference
between you and me.

Do it.

Stop it! No, stop!

What the hell is wrong with you?

It's on foot from here.
Come on.

Hey.

Y'all have permission
to be here?

Come on.

Mr. Lewis...

You can't be scared.

It... It can smell fear.

It'll go nuts.

Really?

- It smells fear?
- Yeah.

- Really?
- Yes.

Okay, I tried, Snack.

- I tried.
- Mr. Lewis...

- Have you lost your mind?
- It's not a trick, okay.

Would I bring you down here
if it wasn't so important?

Please, you have to believe me.

Yeah, we're all clear.

I still got some water in here.

Oh, it stinks in here.

All right,
where's this boogeyman?

What the hell is this?

That's Crockamoley.

This... this isn't
a guy in a suit?

- Seriously?
- No.

Huh...

Oh, my... Oh, my...

- Oh, my God.
- Mr. Lewis... Mr. Lewis, calm down.

Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.

Calm down.

What the hell did you kids do?

Hi, Mr. Lewis.

This... this thing.

This is real.

Sure is.

Calm down.

Why'd you bring him here, Snack?

You lied.

You guys killed somebody.

- You're murderers!
- So are you.

Is that why you brought me here?

- No.
- To fucking kill me?

No. Mr. Lewis, no.

Whoa, whoa, whoa...
He's a teacher.

Hey, hey, hey, just...

- No, stay! Hey, hey, hey!
- Let us go, or I let it go.

I can't let you do that.

Relax. Okay.

You wanna see
what happened to Jeni?

Bran!

Jeni?

Come on.

Get out of the way!

Go!

Ayla!

Open up!

Good evening, boys and ghouls.

You're listening to
Where the Scary Things Are.

I'm your host, Monster Mash Ken,

and with me
is the Mistress of Darkness,

the Queen of Fright,
the Lady of the Night, Muse.

Also joining us
is Crista Creature and Whirl.

All right, so we got something
special as always.

I came across this found footage
film called The Legend of Lockjaw.

I wanna read the description
to our audience.

Uh, we've watched this film

and we're gonna talk about
that in a second,

but here's the description:
"Three years ago,

seven children disappeared
without a trace.

This footage was found
by a security guard

for some Halloween
haunted attraction.

Were they were taken by Lockjaw,

a local monster urban legend,

or something worse?
This is their story."

Muse, what did you
think about it?

Well, yeah,
like you said, we watched this

and honestly, I gotta say
I think this is bullshit.

Um, I wanted to believe it, but it's-it's
so fake. You can see how they did it.

Yeah, you know,
I'm a schmuck when it comes to

anything technical
involving the computer,

but even I on my own laptop
could do a better job.

You know, if you wanna fool us,
and we're horror experts,

you better show something
a little bit more than

bargain basement effort here.

Yeah, I am so with you guys.

Hard pass for me.

This found footage
died so, so long ago.

Man, it's fake, fake, fake.

We have a guy online
who claims to be Snack.

Allegedly, one of the kids
in this footage.

So let's welcome Snack to
Where the Scary Things Are.