Weird: The Al Yankovic Story (2022) - full transcript

[gentle music]

[Al] Life is like a parody
of your favorite song.

Just when you think
you know all the words,

surprise, you don't know anything.

[siren blaring]

[shouting]

[doctor]
Clear the way, clear the way!

- [nurse] Clear!
- [nurse 2] Shut that door, please!

[electric shock jolting]

[doctor] Clear!

[monitor flat lining]



Dammit. Dammit!

All right, nurse, let's call it.

Time of death: 7:30...

[screaming]

[panting] Quick!

I need some paper,
and a number two pencil.

[Al] But... maybe
I'm getting a little ahead of myself.

[video rewinding]

Why don't we start
back at the beginning.

[radio static crackling]

[radio announcer]
All gabardine suits are now 30% off.

[radio static crackling]

[sports commentator]
Jenkins in to the windup,

and the three-two fastball is in the...



[radio static crackling]

[reporter]
President Nixon is on board Air...

[radio static crackling]

[whimsical music]
♪ Dr. Demento, Dr. Demento ♪

[Dr. Demento]
Whoo-whoo-whoo wind up your radio!

It's time for The Dr. Demento Show,

two hours of mad music
and crazy comedy

- from out of the archives...
- Alfy!

What have we told you
about listening to that garbage?

But Mom, it's Dr. Demento.
It's my favorite show in the whole world.

It's going to rot your brain.

You're lucky your father
wasn't here to catch you, mister.

You know how he feels
about that kind of music.

Yes, I know.

All right. Now go on, go get washed up.

Dinner will be ready in a few minutes.

[soft music]

[humming]

[sighs]

Alfy, aren't you going to ask
your father how his day was?

Um, how was your day, Dad?

What, how was my day?

We had another fatality
down at the factory.

Oh, God, real grisly one this time.

It was that McKinley kid
that started last week.

I kept telling him
to stop messing around

by that industrial shredder,
but he just wouldn't listen.

I would've reached
out and grabbed him,

but I already lost one hand
to that cursed machine.

Well, anyway, there's an opening
down on the factory floor.

Maybe I could pull a few strings

and you could spend the summer
working with your old man.

How's that sound?

Um, no, thank you.

"No, thank you."

Well, you're gonna have to learn
sooner or later,

that factory, that factory
will make a man outta you.

But I don't wanna work at the factory.
I wanna make songs.

What? You wanna make songs?
Did you hear that, Mary?

We got a regular Bing Crosby
on our hands, don't we?

Nick, you're embarrassing him.

Oh, am I? Why don't you
sing us a little ditty, Bing, huh?

Such a little songbird.
Sing one for us.

♪ Amazing grapes ♪

♪ How sweet the juice ♪

♪ It tastes so good to me ♪

Stop, stop! What in God's name
are you doing?

Those aren't the right words.

I know. I made 'em better.

By changing the lyrics
to a well-known song?

No, boy, what you're doing
is confusing and evil.

My God, and I will not have

that kind of blasphemy
in my own home.

But Dad...

What has gotten
into you, Alfred?

Hmm? With the songs and
the crazy magazines?

That is all gonna stop now,
young man!

Honey, I know it's hard to hear this,

but your dad and I had a long talk

and we agreed it would be best
for all of us

if you would just stop being who you are
and doing the things you love.

You don't understand me!

[door slams]

[Al]
It was a few weeks later

when a mysterious stranger
showed up at my door

and changed my life forever.

[doorbell rings]

[Nick]
Alfy, get the door.

Why, good afternoon, sir.
The gentleman of the house, I take it?

Well, congratulations.
Today is your lucky day.

How would you like to be
the envy of all of your friends

and the most popular fellow in town?

Well, everything you
need to make that happen...

is right here in this box.

Um, my dad is actually...

- Voila.
- [epic music]

Feast your eyes.

Have you ever seen
such a gorgeous instrument?

Better yet, try it on.

Son, when you play the accordion,
you are a one-man band.

You are the life of every party.

Go ahead, son, tickle those ivories.

[horrible accordion noise]

A natural talent.

Son, you cannot squander that.

You have got to buy this beauty,
and I guarantee it,

you are gonna have girls
lined up around the corner.

You're gonna need a lifeguard

because you're gonna be drowning

- in so much p...
- Hey! What's going on?

And hello to you, sir.

What are you doing in my house?

And why is my innocent young child
wearing that devil's squeeze box?

That's actually our newest...

I thought I told you to shut up!

[glass breaking]

I don't remember you telling me
to shut up before,

but if you're telling me now,
I will gladly...

[grunting]

[groaning]

Dad!

- [chair breaking]
- Ah!

[punches landing]

Dad, stop! You're killing him!

Nick? Oh, Nick, oh, Nick!

No, Nick! Hey!
Nicky, stop it right now!

You made me do this, boy.

You brought this evil into the house.
And now look at you.

Look at you.

Take that devilish monstrosity off
this very instant.

I don't wanna see you
ever wearing it again!

Nick, why don't you go
take a little walk?

I think you'd better cool off.

- Yeah. Yeah.
- [gurgling]

I could use some fresh air
because it stinks in here.

[groaning]

I'll be right back.
Don't go anywhere.

I'll be right here. [Coughs, sputters]

Mister, I'm so sorry about this.

My husband, he just has
a little bit of a temper,

but he is a good man and
he means well, but anyway,

if you're amenable to it,

we'd like to buy that accordion.

Mom! You mean it?

How do you feel about
an early Christmas present?

Yes! This is the best thing ever!
Thank you so much!

There's just one thing.

No one can see you playing it,
especially your father.

This is our secret.
Do you understand me?

Mom... does Dad hate me?

No, of course not, sweetie.

Then why is he always
so hard on me?

Listen, you're too young
to understand now,

but just trust me,
your father has his reasons.

[sputtering] I think I have
a collapsed lung.

We're trying to have
a conversation here, sir.

[Al] For the next few years
I kept to myself,

and tried my best
to please Mom and Dad,

but deep down,
I felt like I was living a lie.

Sure. I was well-behaved,
I got good grades,

but I never let anyone know
the real me.

Hey, Yankovic, you going to that party
at Hofstadter's tonight?

- His parents are out of town.
- Ah, geez, guys, I don't know.

I'm not really allowed to go to parties.

You don't need to have
your parents' permission. Just sneak out.

I-I don't think I can.

My mom always tucks me in
in case I have night terrors.

[scoffs] You have night terrors?

No, I... You know, just in case.

Well, just use a hay boy, then.

A hay boy? What's that?

- You don't know what a hay boy is?
- [scoffs]

Oh, dude, you've got a lot to learn.

Just let us handle everything.
We'll pick you up tonight.

Okay, yeah.

Night-night, Alfy. Don't let the bed bugs
give you night terrors.

[polka music]

[indistinct party chatter]

I mean, Myron Floren is great and all,
Lawrence Welk sure likes him,

but he's way too overexposed.

For my money,
it's Whoopee John Wilfahrt

that really gets me just
hoppin' and steppin'.

I'm all about that Minnesota sound, man.

[gasps] Look what I found!

Hey, hey! Hey, you didn't tell me
that this was gonna be a polka party.

- What, do you not like polka?
- No, I like it, it's...

My parents would kill me
if they knew I was here, okay?

I'm so, so sorry, guys. I-I-I gotta go.
I can't... I can't be here, man.

Come on, Al. Live a little!
What's the worse that could happen?

You might actually let your guard down
and enjoy your life for once?

[polka music continues]

Yeah, yeah, I can...
let my guard down.

[music stops]

[polka music resumes]

Hey... and sorry.

Hey, everybody, look what I found!

[laughs]

Dude, pass it here. Pass it.

[playing "Chopsticks"]

- Okay, dude. Okay.
- [laughter]

Al, here. You gotta try this.

Oh, no. No, no, thanks. I'm good.

Al's afraid his mommy and daddy

are gonna find out
he tried an accordion.

[laughter]

I just don't wanna play, okay?
Just, just lay off me, man!

[“The Chicken Dance” playing]

No, guys...

- [clapping]
- I'm not gonna...

[clapping]

I'm not... I'm not... I'm not...

[clapping]

Okay. Yeah, sure. I'll play, yeah.

- [clapping]
- [laughter]

[fast, proficient polka music]

[cheering]

- It's the cops! Everyone, run!
- [sirens]

[overlapping shouting]

I'm sorry to disturb you, ma'am,

but I'm afraid we found your son
at a polka party.

He was playing an accordion.

That's impossible. Alfy's in...

A hay boy?! Really?

What did I do to deserve this,
huh? Huh?

It's like I don't even
know you anymore, Al.

You want me to be like you.
Look at me, I'm nothing like you.

You want me to work that factory.

Okay, I don't even know
what you make down there.

You just call it the factory.

You will find out what we make
at the factory

when you work at the factory!

Well, it's my life,
and I wanna make music

and I wanna play the accordion.

Ah, hogwash!

And I'm good. I'm really, really good!

How did you get good
at playing the accordion, huh? Huh?

It certainly wasn't
under my roof, was it?

What'd you do, sneak out
and practice in the woods

in the middle of the night?

No. I played it here, quietly.

Yeah, I play in the closet.

But I'm not a closet accordion player
anymore.

It feels good!

The closet, you say?

Hmm...

No-no-no. Dad, Dad, hey.
Hey, hey, hey, Dad.

No-no-no. You're not going...
It's not in there.

You're not gonna find anything in there.

Dad, what are you doing?
No, no, Dad... No-no-no-no...

Dad, no. Dad, please.

- Uh-huh?
- Stop, stop.

- Boy.
- Stop. Stop it.

- Boy, this...
- Please, Dad. Please! No-no-no!

This is for your own good, boy.

No, I need this, I need this...

[yells]

[crashing]

Nooo!

No, no, no, no, no!

You... You think you're gonna stop me
from playing?

You'll see.
One day I'm gonna be the best...

Well, perhaps not technically the best,

but arguably the most
famous accordion player

in an extremely specific genre of music.

I'll show you.

I'll show everybody!

[Nick] Get out!

- Good riddance!
- [door slams]

[soft music]

[Al] Things at home
never got any better after that.

But within a few years, I graduated

and I was able to move out
and live on my own.

Well, with three other guys
in a dirt-cheap apartment,

but the point is, I didn't
have to answer to anybody.

- Hey, hey.
- Howdy.

[Al] Now I'd have a chance
to find others

who would truly understand me.

I could find my people.

[accordion music]

♪ Beat on the brat
Beat on the brat ♪

♪ Beat on the brat
with a baseball bat ♪

♪ Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, oh-ho ♪

♪ Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, oh-ho ♪

- Okay.
- ♪ Hey! ♪

♪ Hey! Hey! Hey! ♪

- Okay, that's enough. Thanks.
- Mm.

Yeah. Very... very interesting.

So... we'll let you know, okay?

Great. Um, when?

Right now. You didn't make it.

[men snicker]

This sucks.

It's the fifth audition
I've been kicked out of this week.

It's almost like nobody wants
an accordion player in their band.

That just doesn't make any sense.

Yeah. Accordions are cool.

That's the problem
with being on the bleeding edge.

You gotta wait for the rest of the world
to catch up with you.

I don't have time to wait.

If nobody wants to have me
in their group,

I'm just gonna have
to go it in on my own.

Don't worry,
it's gonna happen for you.

You just gotta hang in there.
We got your back.

Thanks, Bermuda. All you guys.
You've just been so great.

You really get me.

It is such a difference after living
with my folks for so long.

Yeah. And you know, the best part
of moving away from home

is you can do anything you want.
Hook up with girls...

Get high all the time.

Yeah, I mean, literally anything.
There are no rules.

Just last night, I was driving

down the wrong side of the 101
with my eyes closed,

not knowing whether I was
gonna live to see another day

or die in a horrible, fiery wreck.

Suck on that, Mom and Dad.

- Yeah. You get it, Steve.
- You go, Steve.

Oh, wow, Steve.

What about you, Al?

What's something you always
wanted to do,

but you were never allowed to?

Make up new words
to a song that already exists.

- Oh, well, you should do that, then.
- [Steve] Absolutely.

Yeah. Why don't you do it right now?
Go on. Make up something brilliant.

No, guys, it's not that easy.
I gotta wait for inspiration to strike,

and I'm pretty sure that well dried up
a long time ago.

Oh, well, if you're not
gonna write us a song,

why don't you make us
some sandwiches?

Oh, yeah, dude, I'm starving.

[all chant]
Sandwich! Sandwich! Sandwich!

Okay, okay, okay. Guys, I'm on it.
Jim, you wanna put on some tunes?

Yeah.

[static crackling]

["My Sharon a" by The Knack on radio]

Oh, Steve?
This bologna has your name on it.

- Can we?
- Uh, yeah, sure.

Just open up a package of my bologna.

♪ Ooh, you make my motor run
my motor run ♪

♪ Gun it comin' off of the line, Sharon a ♪

♪ Never gonna stop, give it up
Such a dirty mind ♪

♪ I always get it up for the touch
of the younger kind ♪

♪ My, my, my-yi-yi, whoo!
M-M-M-My Sharon a ♪

♪ Whoo!
M-M-M-My Sharon a ♪

♪ Whoo!
M-M-M-My Sharon a, whoo! ♪

Is this DJ asleep?
The record keeps skipping.

Hey! Wake up.

♪ Whoo!
M-M-M-My Sharon a, whoo! ♪

- ♪ M-M-M-My Sharon a ♪
- [quietly] ♪ M-M-M-My bologna ♪

- ♪ M-M-M-My bologna ♪
- ♪ Whoo! M-M-M-My Sharon a ♪

Al?

[whispers]
♪ M-M-M-My bologna ♪

♪ M-M-M-My bologna ♪

You okay?

♪ Ooh, my little hungry one, hungry one ♪

♪ Open up a package of my bologna ♪

[toaster dinging]

♪ Ooh, I think the toast is done
The toast is done ♪

♪ Top it with a little of my bologna ♪

Where did that come from?

Dude, I've got chills.

I don't know, it just came out of me.

I've never heard anything like that
before in my life.

You have to record that.

Record it? No, come on, guys.

Al, you've got something here.

I don't know if it comes
from God or the devil,

but the world needs to hear it.

No, forget it, guys. I don't have
the money for a recording studio.

I think the bathroom at the bus station
has pretty good acoustics.

["My Bologna" playing]

Yeah, sounds good in here.

You can put it right there,
that works.

♪ Ooh, my little hungry one, hungry one ♪

♪ Open up a package of my bologna ♪

♪ Ooh, I think the toast is done
The toast is done ♪

♪ Top it with a little of my bologna ♪

♪ Never gonna stop, eat it up ♪

♪ Such a tasty snack
I always eat too much and throw up ♪

♪ But I'll soon be back
For my my my-yi-yi, whoo! ♪

♪ M-M-M-My bologna
M-M-M-My bologna, hey! ♪

[accordion music continues]

[cheering]

[accordion music continues]

[cheering]

[belches]

All right. Just mailed the tape off
to Captain Buffoon.

Now, I guess, all I gotta do
is sit back and wait to become famous.

[scoffs] Yeah, I don't think
that's quite how it works, Al.

Nobody becomes famous overnight.
That's a myth.

Sometimes it takes years,
decades of hard work to get noticed.

- What?
- Look, I believe in you.

I know it's gonna
happen for you someday,

but you can't just mail your
tape off to some disc jockey

and expect to instantly become
a sensation.

Man, why can't I catch a break?

[Captain Buffoon]
Captain Buffoon on your radio dial.

No, I'm not making this up...

I just received this tape
in the mail a few minutes ago,

and what can I say?
It's an instant sensation!

It's already the number one
most-requested song of the week,

and we're playing it all day long.

So, here it is, once again,
Al Yankovic with "My Bologna!"

[all yelling]

- [grunting, slapping]
- Again!

♪ Ooh, my little hungry one, hungry one ♪

♪ Open up a package... ♪

You know what this means, right?

You gotta get yourself a record deal.

[both screaming]

♪ Never gonna stop, eat it up ♪

♪ Such a tasty snack
I always eat too much and throw up ♪

♪ But I'll soon be back
For my, my, my-yi-yi, whoo! ♪

♪ M-M-M-My bologna ♪

♪ M-M-M-My bologna, hey! ♪

[accordion music continues]

I've heard enough.

And what did you think?

Do you know why they call it
the "music business"?

Uh, why?

Because it's a business.

It's a business!

Use your head, kid.

Nobody wants to hear
a parody song

when they can hear the real thing
for the same price.

[stammers] What's the point?

Yeah, it makes
no financial sense, whatsoever.

Uh, my-my-my song was actually

a-a big hit on
The Captain Buffoon Show.

- [laughing] Oh!
- What?

Captain Buffoon? Really?

- Yeah.
- [Tony] Wait, wait.

Captain Buffoon actually
played your song on the radio?

Yeah.

Why didn't you tell us?
This changes everything.

Ben, get this young gentleman
a record contract this very instant.

We are gonna sign him
to a 14-album deal.

Wait, really?

No! What do you think I am,
an idiot?

- He's not an idiot!
- I'm not an idiot!

- If I may interject here.
- Please.

Look, I'd just like to say

that you got some nerve
coming in here

and wasting my time and
my brother Tony's time.

I'm gonna remember your name
because you, Al Yankovic,

are the most untalented, pathetic loser

that I've ever met in my entire life.

Okay, um, maybe...

You're nothing but a hack,
a stupid, useless parasite,

- and you're so ugly.
- Okay...

That ridiculous hair,
that horrible mustache,

stupid glasses.

You make me wanna throw up!

All right, thank you.
Thank you, Ben.

Thank you, Ben, for your,
for your thoughts.

- Thank you.
- Jeez.

- Ugh.
- Look, kid,

if you really have your heart set
on doing this stupid music,

maybe write more than one song.

Yeah, all the biggest musical acts
have more than one song in their catalog.

That's very true.

And also, get out
in front of a live audience.

Any audience, any stage,

just get out there, build up your chops,
and who knows?

Maybe someday... we'll talk again.

But don't count on it
because you truly suck.

Right.

Okay.

[man] ♪ One, two, three, four! ♪

[fighting grunts]

[loud rock music]

♪ Bowling with the devil! ♪

Thank you! We are Skunk Barf!

- You guys suck!
- [crowd booing]

[shouting, jeering]

I can't do this. I can't do this.

Just relax, you'll be great.

Yeah, the new song's a bona fide hit.

It's about ice cream!

Everybody likes ice cream.

This seems like more of
a whiskey and... heroin crowd.

Look, guys, I appreciate you being here
for moral support and everything,

but they are literally gonna kill me.
We need to leave right now.

Don't be silly, man.
They're gonna love you.

All right, we got, uh, most of the blood

cleaned off the stage,
so you're on, now.

- Go start the car.
- Nah, you got this, Al.

This is your moment.
Go get 'em, champ.

- [struggling]
- Go get 'em.

[exhales]

[indistinct chatter]

All right, all right,
who's ready for some more music?

Okay, uh, coming next to the stage,

it's this guy's first time,
Al Yankovic.

- [feedback screeching]
- Hey. [Clears throat]

Sorry.

Sorry.

Ah, nice Hawaiian shirt, Trapper John!

[crowd jeering]

[sniffs] Um...

[man] Boo!

["I Love Rocky Road"]

♪ I hear those ice cream bells
and I start to drool ♪

This guy needs some help.

♪ Keep a couple quarts
in my locker at school ♪

♪ Yeah, but chocolate's gettin' old ♪

- ♪ Vanilla just leaves me cold ♪
- [drumming joins]

♪ There's just one flavor good enough
for me, yeah me ♪

♪ Don't gimme no crummy taste spoon
I know what I need ♪

♪ Baby, I love rocky road ♪

♪ So won't you go and buy
half a gallon, baby ♪

♪ I love rocky road ♪

♪ So have another triple scoop
with me ♪

♪ Ow! ♪

Gimme a shot of tequila
and two scoops of rum raisin.

We don't sell ice cream here.

You better start selling it
before this song's over

or you're gonna have a riot
on your hands.

♪ When I'm all alone
I just grab myself a cone ♪

♪ And if I get fat and lose my teeth
that's fine with me ♪

♪ Just lock me in the freezer
and throw away the key ♪

♪ Singing
I love rocky road ♪

♪ So won't you go and buy
half a gallon, baby ♪

♪ I love rocky road ♪

♪ So have another triple scoop with me ♪

♪ I love rocky road ♪

♪ So won't you go
and buy half a gallon, baby ♪

♪ I love rocky road ♪

♪ So have another triple scoop with ♪

♪ I love rocky road ♪

♪ So won't you go and buy
half a gallon, baby ♪

♪ I love rocky road ♪

♪ So have another triple scoop
with me ♪

[audience cheering]

Why didn't you guys tell me
you could play? You're great.

I guess it didn't seem relevant 'til now.

- [cheering]
- Thank you!

Oh, hey.

Oh! You're Dr. Demento.

Oh, wow. I, I am such a huge fan.
I can't believe this.

I've been listening to your show
my entire life.

Whoo-whoo-whoo,
wind up your radio...

- Don't do that.
- Sorry.

Um, did you see the show?

I did. And let me
tell you something, kid.

Every once in a great while,
I can spot a talent

that I know is headed
straight to the top.

Nervous Norvus,

Wild Man Fischer,

and now... you.

What I saw you do on that stage
tonight blew my mind!

I'm telling you, you've cracked the code.
You're onto something special.

Wow, I mean, you, you,
you have no idea

what it means
for me to hear you say that.

- Thank you so much.
- Oh...

I only wish the Scotti Brothers
felt the same way.

Ah, those suits.
They couldn't recognize real talent

if it slapped them in the face
with a dead fish. [Laughs]

But I might be able to
get them to notice you.

How?

Well, stick with me, huh?

I know a little something
about the biz.

Uh, wait, are-are you saying
you want to be my mentor?

No, I'm saying I want to be your...
de-mentor!

[laughs]

But first, we gotta find you
a stage name.

I mean, Al Yankovic. Ugh, blech.

Doesn't exactly trip off
the tongue now, does it?

I guess not.

It's so clunky. It's long.
It's ungainly. It's hard to pronounce.

Sorry.

Now, I'm just gonna throw this out there.

Would you be willing
to change your name to...

Weird... Al Yankovic?

I love it.

[laughs] Great. Great!

Hey, I'm having a little pool party
at the house this weekend.

I'd love to introduce
you to some folks.

What do you say you come on by,

we'll continue this conversation
at the grotto.

Yes, of course!

Mm-hmm. And don't forget to stay demented!

[laughs]

You got it.

[indistinct party chatter]

H-H-Hey!
There he is, my newest superstar.

Ah, so glad you could make it.

I've been telling everyone about you,

and, uh, looks like you've
brought your band.

Okay, fine.

Uh, there's some canapés right
over there, gentlemen.

Help yourselves. So,
let me show you around, okay?

Everyone's dying to meet you.
Oh, right this way.

- Uh, Mr. Herman.
- [Pee-wee] Hello.

I'd like you to meet
"Weird Al" Yankovic.

Ah, a rising star.

Pleased to meet you.

[both laughing]

And this is, of course, Tiny Tim.

Oh, Mr. Yankovic.
Oh, why, you're just the cat's pajamas.

Is that a good thing?

Sure.

Ah, excuse us, gentlemen.

Nice to meet you.

So that's Demento's new protégé.

You know, I hear they don't even hand out
raincoats and tarps at his shows.

Amateur hour.

Amateur hour.

- Well, hello, Dali.
- Andy.

What do you think of
this "Weird Al" Yankovic?

Dali predicts he will change
everything we know about art!

Weird Al will change the world!

Eh, I give him 15 minutes.

Well, well, well, if it isn't Dr. Demento.

Wolf man Jack.
Who let you in here?

The Wolf man goes where
the Wolf man wants, baby.

[howling]

Security!

Relax. I just came by
to lay eyes on this cat

you've been paradin' around.

The one who takes
preexisting musical compositions

and completely changes the lyrics.

He has a name, you know.
And it's "Weird Al" Yankovic.

Well then, put 'er there, Weird Al.

Oooh! Too slow.

What is the meaning of this?

This is me telling you
that I know hit talent

when I see it, and this kid ain't it.

He'll never crack the top 40,
he's too niche.

This kid, as you call him,
is the future of music.

Right. Well, if he's so great,
how about he comes up

with a new parody song
right now on the spot?

- [guests] Ooh...
- Whoa.

I mean, come on, man. It's a party.
I don't know that's a good idea.

[John]
Do "Another One Bites the Dust."

[laughs] That seems fitting,
who said that?

I did. I'm John Deacon...

of Queen.

I play the bass in Queen.

[crowd] Oh...

All right, future boy.

Let's hear what you can do
with "Another One Bites the Dust."

We're waiting.

You don't have to
prove anything to him.

[Jack]
Come on, guy from Queen.

Let's go find a party
with some real talent. [Laughs]

Get me my accordion.

[Jack]
Hey, you like deviled eggs?

I love a good deviled egg.
They don't love me, though.

["Another One Rides the Bus"]

♪ Ridin' in the bus
down the boulevard ♪

- ♪ And the place was pretty packed ♪
- ♪ Yeah! ♪

♪ I couldn't find a seat
so I had to stand ♪

♪ With the perverts in the back ♪

♪ It was smellin' like a locker room
There was junk all over the floor ♪

♪ We're already packed in
like sardines ♪

♪ But we're stoppin'
to pick up more, look out! ♪

♪ Another one rides the bus ♪

- ♪ Another one rides the bus ♪
- [train whistle]

♪ And another comes on
And another comes on ♪

♪ Another one rides the bus ♪

♪ Hey, he's gonna sit by you ♪

♪ Another one rides the bus ♪

♪ Another one rides the bus ♪

♪ Another one rides the bus
Ow! ♪

♪ Another one rides the bus
Hey, hey ♪

♪ Another one rides the bus
Hey-ey-ey-ey-ey ♪

♪ The window doesn't open
and the fan is broke ♪

- ♪ And my face is turnin' blue ♪
- ♪ Yeah! ♪

♪ I haven't been in a crowd like this
since I went to see The Who ♪

♪ Well, I should've got off
a couple miles ago ♪

♪ But I couldn't get to the door ♪

♪ There isn't any room
for me to breathe ♪

♪ Now we're gonna pick up more
Yeah! ♪

♪ Another one rides the bus ♪

♪ Another one rides the bus ♪

♪ And another comes on
And another comes on ♪

♪ Another one rides the bus ♪

♪ Hey, he's gonna sit by you
Another one rides the bus! ♪

[guests cheering]

I don't know what to say.

That was the...

That was the most beautiful thing
I've ever heard in my entire life.

You truly have a rare gift, Weird Al.

Hey mate, we're playing
a little gig next week

called Live Aid,
Wembley Stadium.

I'd be honored if you
would join the band

and play that song on stage with us.

What do you say?

Hard pass!

[laughter]

- This guy?
- Get him, get him out of here!

[Al] I felt like
I was on top of the world,

but this was just the beginning.

"Weird Al" Yankovic is
one of the most exciting

new artists in pop music today.

His self-titled debut album

was just certified quintuple platinum.

[audience cheers]

Simply by taking well-known pop songs

and changing the lyrics,

Yankovic has taken the world by storm.

I have never seen a collection
of Hawaiian shirts like this.

Oh, well, thank you, Oprah!

[Oprah] He has the number one album
in 20 countries

and counts among his fans
such luminaries as...

Hey, turn this up.

[Oprah] ...President Ronald Reagan
and Pope John Paul II.

Even international drug lord
Pablo Escobar

calls Weird Al his favorite musician.

♪ Oh, Ricky, you're so fine
You're so fine, you blow my mind ♪

- ♪ Hey Ricky! Hey Ricky! ♪
- [guns firing]

And what about this,
this necklace you're wearing?

Oh, these, yeah.

I, uh, I wear one
solid platinum record medallion

for each time my album went platinum.

So that's one, two, three, four, five.

Wow. Those look heavy.

They are super uncomfortable.

[Oprah] And it's not
just the record company

that's cashing in on Weird Al fever.

The artists he's parodying
are experiencing a phenomenon

that's being called the Yankovic Bump.

The Knack, Joan Jett
and even Queen

have seen their
album sales double

after Weird Al put
his unique spin on their songs.

Which begs the question,
who will be next?

Who indeed?

Al, you really do seem to have
the Midas touch. [Chuckles]

I've never seen anything like it
in all my years.

Your parents must be proud.

Yeah. Yeah, my parents...

Is everything okay?

Huh? Yeah. Yes, of course.

Yeah, whose, whose parents
wouldn't be proud?

[Oprah] Exactly.

- Al? Al?
- [phone ringing]

Hello?

- [Al] Hey, Mom. It's me.
- Alfy?

[Al]
It's been a long time, hasn't it?

We saw you on the TV.

It's crazy, right?

Yeah, who would've thought?

I'm actually gearing up
for a residency right now

at Madison Square Garden.

Sold out 25 nights in a row.

They're, uh, they're moving the Knicks

to a hockey rink in Jersey
for a month.

- Huh.
- Yep.

Yep. I'm living the dream.

I mean, to have 20,000 people
every night

singing along to my words

to other people's music.

I feel truly alive
when I'm on that stage.

[Mary] Oh, that's nice.

Are you eating enough bran?

- What?
- Well, it's important.

It keeps you regular
and you know how you get

when you're not having
your regular BMs, Alfy.

I... Yeah, sure.

Good. That's good.

So, um, so how's Dad?

Gosh, your father's a complicated man.

Does he ever talk about me?

Oh, sure, all the time. Yes.

There's so many things
that he wants to tell you,

but it's just difficult for him.

Well, like what?

You know, what does
he want to tell me?

Well, mostly he just
wants to let you know that

he's definitely not proud of you.

What?

Yes. He told me to be crystal clear
about that.

Also, he still thinks that parody songs
are stupid

and I don't have to tell you

how he feels about the accordion, do I?

Okay. Well, Mom,
I actually have to go now.

You know, he just never
really wanted to have kids.

Okay. Well, great talking to you.

Listen, if you do wanna get
that job down at the factory,

I'm sure your father can
pull a few strings for you.

All right. Take care now, bye-bye.

- Love you, Alfy!
- Yep!

- [grunts]
- [phone shatters]

Oh, tough call with the folks, huh?

You know, I can fire up the downstairs
hot tub for you if you'd like.

Oh, no, no, this is fine. I don't want to
put you through any trouble.

I... It's really no trouble.

I mean, there are actually
three other Jacuzzis

in the house that are
not here in my bedroom.

Oh, that's so sweet of you,
but really, I'm good.

You, on the other hand,
you don't seem so good.

Do you wanna talk about it?

It's just, my whole life,

all I've wanted is for my
father to accept me for who I am.

And I thought if I became
this huge success,

that that would change things, but...

Mm.

But he still hates everything about me.

You know, maybe he's right.
Maybe parody songs are stupid.

Look, you don't have to
write parody songs

if you don't want to.

What?

You look a little hungry.
Here, have a snack.

You can write your own songs.

You think I took
you under my wing

because you write parody songs?

No, I saw in you a visionary,

an artist who has
something to give to the world.

I saw in you something special,

something your father doesn't see

and that even you don't see...

yet.

This guacamole tastes funny.

[Dr. Demento laughs] Of course it does.
It's loaded with LSD.

What?!

- [laughs]
- No!

You need to open your heart
and your mind,

face your fears,
break your chains,

come with me on a spiritual journey.

Find your sourc