Waxie Moon in Fallen Jewel (2015) - full transcript
Can Seattle's gender-blending celebrity find love in The Emerald City? Join Waxie Moon in an epic journey (spanning decades) as she learns the value of friendship, family and fashion
Hi everyone.
I'm Jinx Monsoon.
And welcome to my
gracious drawing room.
And I'm here to introduce
Waxie Moon in "Fallen Jewel".
One of the best movies
you'll ever see, ever.
[laughter]
This movie has everything:
original music,
burlesque,
boy-lesque...um dancing,
fun, frivolity,
romance, the devil!
It's got just about everything
in it as well as some of
Seattle's favorite
queer performers.
Waxie Moon
himself, BenDeLaCreme,
um, yours truly, Sarah
Rudinoff and Keira McDonald
who aren't queer but
we like 'em anyway.
Inga Ingenue,
Lou Henry Hoover,
Nick Garrison, Jackie
Hell the list goes on
and on ladies and gentlemen.
Seattle has quite a bit
of talent to work with.
The best thing about this
movie is it is unlike anything
you've ever seen before.
It's got that right balance
of cult appeal and just enough
charm, sass and wit to keep you
in your seat begging for more.
[laughter]
Which is how most of my
audiences are except um,
they are actually
begging for less.
Um, but it's the
opposite with this movie,
you know you can't get enough.
Another wonderful charming
aspect of this cult hit is
that is has monthly screenings
here in the Northwest and
throughout the country I'm
sure, eventually if not yet.
[laughing]
You know I actually hosted
the first one you know
being a you know little
character in the movie myself.
Waxie Moon and I performed a
touching and charming tribute
to Bette Midler in "The Rose".
So look for a cult screening
near you or come to Seattle
for one of our monthly
screenings of this quaint
and very unique little film.
[laughter]
Of course any flick
by Wes Hurley is a
flick worth being flung.
So flick it,
stick it, lick it.
I don't care.
Just pop your popcorn, pour
your gin and settle down ready
to watch Waxie Moon
in "Fallen Jewel".
Good night my babies and
have a wonderful evening.
*
* Only if I could freeze
that moment in time *
* Before I had to
make this choice *
* In a blink of an eye,
everything I knew *
* Slipped away...
WAXIE (VO):
Seattle, Washington.
The emerald city, the Oz
of the Pacific Northwest.
A place, not only of
courage, brains and heart,
but also coffee,
salmon and Savage love.
WAXIE: And, while yes, as a
gender-blending queer lady
boylesque performance-art
solo stripping sensation,
I do occasionally
wear ruby slippers,
for me, there's no
place like home.
WAXIE (VO): It is also home
to my three best friends.
Meet Marya, a high-powered
lawyer and surgeon.
MARYA: I object!
WAXIE (VO): She's
always working on a case.
WAXIE (VO): Next
there is Polly.
As the owner of a darling
bakeshop she knows that the
way to a man's heart is
through his stomach..
And then of
course there's Sahara.
A woman in charge
SAHARA: Well, of course I can.
Mr. Businessman.
I'll have three girls in
cheerleading outfits with
three cases of lubricant in your
hotel room within the hour.
Credit card number, please.
*
WAXIE (VO): And then
there is me, Waxie Moon.
*
One sunny Seattle morning
the girls and I met at our
favorite brunch
spot - Café Flora -
to discuss our
favorite subject...
POLLY: Men!
WAXIE: I love the rugged
outdoorsy look of Seattle men.
MARYA: Me, too, but that
strong independent type can
be difficult to penetrate.
SAHARA: Penetrate?
I love penetrating a man.
It's called pegging.
I prefer doggy style...
WAXIE: No
Sahara, by penetrate,
we mean get to know.
SAHARA: Oh.
Well there are other
ways to penetrate a man.
POLLY: Sahara, you always
take it the extra inch.
SAHARA: Don't you
mean extra inches?
MARYA: OK, back to topic.
Yes, I mean get to know.
Seattle men are
difficult to get to know.
POLLY: You know why that is?
Men who are attracted
to Seattle want an urban
environment but they
also want their space.
SAHARA: It's true.
I mean, this is
such a great city.
We're a major metropolitan
and we have tons of gorgeous
space, green space,
with trees and everything.
Cock.
WAXIE: Yes but that's
the kind of men you meet.
Someone who's kind of like
hi-it's-really-nice-to -
meet-you-but-don't-get-too-
close-I-want-my-space.
MARYA: Exactly.
It's especially hard for
a working professional
career-minded woman
to find available men.
Sure, there are lots of
attractive men out there,
but who has the time?
Just the other day....
JUDGE: Overruled.
MARYA: I object.
JUDGE: Sustained.
MARYA: Thank you, your honor!
HANDSOME LAWYER: Good work.
Now that the case is closed
would you care to have a drink
with me sometime?
MARYA: I don't drink
coffee with the opposing team.
HANDSOME LAWYER: Who
said anything about coffee?
Can I have your number?
MARYA: All right...
Ooh.
Another time.
I'm needed at the hospital
for an emergency surgery.
I'll see you around.
HANDSOME LAWYER: Wait!
Your helmet!
WAXIE: You think it's hard?
Imagine having no time
and being a celebrity.
Finding love seems
impossible for me.
Just the other day.....
WAXIE: Oh, thank you.
RUNNER GUY: Beautiful
keys for a beautiful lady.
WAXIE: Why thank
you kind sir, Mr.
handsome-key-handing-me-guy.
RUNNER GUY: So
when's your next show?
PARK SEX MAN #1: Oh my god!
Look!
It's Waxie Moon!
PARK SEX MAN #2:
I love your work.
PARK SEX MAN #3:
Do you cum glitter?
SAHARA: Men, men, men.
Maybe, men are the problem.
The last 45 men I
had this morning
couldn't even get me off.
So I went to a lesbian mixer.
MARYA: Sahara!
You - a lesbian?
SAHARA: Don't act so shocked.
I'll do the
occasional muff dance.
So I'm at this mixer with tons
of available gorgeous women.
I brought the most
gorgeous one home with me.
*
*
THE MAN: Hey
girls, may I join you?
SAHARA: Sure, go right ahead.
JACKIE HELL: Who
is this, Sahara?
SAHARA: Just something
leftover from last night.
JACKIE HELL: But you told me
you were a lesbian like me?
SAHARA: Sorry.
But no matter how
gorgeous she was I realized
I just love cock too much.
POLLY: Stop!
Stop!
Sahara, you're always
talking about dirty dirty sex.
You shouldn't have sex
on the first date anyway!
What about romance and love?
Just the other day, I had
my forth date with Brian.
I think things are
going beautifully.
He's sweet,
attentive, appreciative
and so very romantic
SAHARA: Have you had sex yet?
POLLY: No!
No!
No!
But we did have
a lovely dinner.
He knows how to treat a woman.
Do you like that honey?
Don't forget to
use your napkin.
Here, let me, honey.
Would you like some dessert?
How was that?
Would you like to go
see a movie tonight?
Great, me, too!
WAXIE (VO): Hearing about
the girls' dating ordeals and
thinking about my own
love life got me wondering,
when you're a stripper is
it possible to shed all the
layers and
actually find true love?
Can a gender-blending queer
lady boylesque performance art
solo stripping sensation
find the man of her dreams?
Or are celebrities destined to
remain Sleepless in Seattle?
SAHARA: ....so I was using
three fingers like he asked
and then I realized -
he has four testicles!
MARYA: So Polly, you never
told us how you met Brian.
POLLY: Oh, we met on Buttface.
WAXIE: Buttface?
What's that?
MARYA: Don't tell me you
don't have a Buttface profile.
NICK: Ladies!
No talking in class!
WAXIE, POLLLY, MARYA: Sorry!
POLLY: I wondered why
you never Buttfaced me.
WAXIE Buttface?
I don't even know what
you're talking about.
MARYA: It's an online social
networking dating service.
You know I'm really surprised,
but I like this Buttface.
WAXIE: I don't know about the
whole online dating thing...
POLLY: Buttface
isn't like other sites.
It's simple.
You just
Buttload your profile,
get responses and meet
tons of available men.
NICK: Ladies!
What did I tell you?
*
* What power are you
* Who from below
* Has made me rise,
* Unwillingly and slow
* From beds of
everlasting snow! *
*
* Can't you see how
stiff, how stiff *
* And wondrous old
* Far unfit to
bear the bitter cold *
* I can scarcely move,
* Or draw my breath,
* Can scarcely move,
* Or draw my breath.
* Let me, let me,
Let me, let me, *
* Freeze again....
* Let me, let me
* Freeze again to death!
* Let me, let me,
Let me, let me, *
* Freeze again....
* to death!
*
*
WAXIE (VO): Later on
Marya was performing
an emergency surgery.
Surgery.
MARYA: All right,
we need fourteen
liters of dimomalpapin.
He's losing blood quickly.
Connect the external aorta to
the trachiatic valve of the
complex
carbohydrate nerve endings.
MOTHER: Connection complete.
MARYA: We're losing him.
MOTHER: Try
distancing the gallbladder
from the latent lip suture.
MARYA: Good idea.
MOTHER: Hurry; there
is very little time.
MARYA: OK, I'm going ahead
and making a severing incision
across the
oblongata palpitator.
MOTHER: That's too risky.
MARYA: We have no choice!
The periodontal
abdominal canal is blocked.
MOTHER: OK, we're going in on
my count - in three, two, one.
MARYA: And we are clear.
Good job everyone, good job.
MOTHER: Nurse, go
ahead and stitch him up.
Good job to you, daughter.
That was a tough one.
Another life saved.
You handled yourself so well.
MARYA: Well, I
learned from the best.
MOTHER: Oh enough flattery.
Let's clean up and
go to the courthouse.
MARYA: I thought you
had another surgery?
MOTHER: No, but
speaking of heart.
When is my daughter going
to give me a granddaughter?
MARYA: Oh mother you
know I'm too busy for that.
I can't even find
time to meet a man.
MOTHER: Well, you
better make time.
Your clock is running out.
Tick tock tick tock.
And there is more to
life than just your career.
MARYA: Mother I cannot believe
I'm hearing this from you.
You're Seattle's chief
surgeon and chief justice.
You've always instilled in me
the value of an education and
career path.
MOTHER: Yeah, and I'd give
it all up in a heartbeat
for a fat little grandchild.
MARYA: Oh, mother.
WAXIE (VO): Meanwhile
across town Polly was
mending a heart of her own.
POLLY: Did you enjoy
my cooking my sweet?
How you gobbled it up.
Yum, yum, yum.
Was it tasty?
You look so cute today.
No one looks sexier than you.
I was thinking maybe I should
take time off from the bakery
and maybe we should start
thinking about getting married.
I really really want a large
wedding with all our friends.
Maybe, in June.
We could go up to the
resort in Whistler or the
country club in Bothel.
What do you think my angel?
BRIAN: Where do you
keep your cash, bitch?
POLLY: I love you honey.
WAXIE: Meanwhile across town
Marya and Sahara were having a
serious
discussion of their own.
SAHARA: Oh my god,
I didn't realize
running a brothel was illegal.
MARYA: Well, you're lucky this
time you got off with just a
warning but that's because you
know the best lawyer in town.
SAHARA: That's
why I called you.
MARYA: Well it was a good
thing you did but next time
you might not be so lucky.
You may want to reconsider
this whole prostitution thing.
SAHARA: Reconsider?
But sex is not only my
lively hood it's my life.
I can't just go without it.
MARYA That's for
you to figure out.
I would just hate to
see you in the big house.
SAHARA: You're right -
prison and prostitution is no
laughing matter.
MARYA: All right call
me if you need anything.
I'll talk to you later.
SAHARA: Thanks Marya.
SAHARA: Ladies we need to
make some changes around here.
Today's close call with the law
was a little too close to home.
I've decided to suspend
operations immediately.
No more sex for sale.
From this point forward
the Happy Endings Brothel
will be closed for business.
I have put too much
emphasis on sex in my life.
Today I realized that
sex is not the answer.
Our society is obsessed
with sex - vaginal sex,
oral sex, anal sex,
same sex, missionary,
69, doggy style,
fisting, stumping,
scat, flurries,
plushies, the Sarah Palin,
the Dirty Sanchez, Pao Ga
Ma!, Belgian chocolate,
Two Girls in a Tea
Cup, Crème de Minth,
watersports,
pegging, indoor sex,
outdoor sex, salad sex,
you name it's all out there.
I guess, my friend
Polly was right.
Maybe, we should all
just give up sex and
commit to personal growth.
From this point forward I
will not only be closed for
business but I'm going to
swear off sex completely.
Ladies clean out your lockers!
*
*
WAXIE (VO): Meanwhile
across town that afternoon
I had three blind dates.
And I was feeling hopeful.
SALESMAN DATE: All right,
I don't have a whole heck
a lot of time for this so
let's get right down to
brass tacks, shall we.
What do you do for a living?
You mind if I go first?
I'm a doctor.
I know, right.
Congratulations.
Call your mom.
She's gonna be thrilled.
Doctor Dave, that's
what they call me.
ERNIE VON
SCHAMLTZ: Here you go.
So what do you think?
Wanna look inside?
Wanna see?
I would love to show you.
PERV DATE: Well, so
far I like what I see.
You know what else
I'd like to see?
Your privates.
PERV DATE: Your Vera Wang.
Frotterate your gooey duck.
Your bulging b-worm.
Your Ladybird Johnson.
Your nuts and bolts.
WAXIE (VO): Three horrifying
dates and three cups of coffee
later, I felt hopeless and
decided to cheer myself up by
taking a walk in
Volunteer Park.
*
LYNN SHELTON: Looks
like the moon is waning...
*
MARYA: Oh Waxie.
That's the price of fame.
WAXIE: I know but I just
started to cheer up and she
made me feel
muahhhh blah blah blah
MARYA: You know what you need?
WAXIE: A hot fuck in
a cold winter cabin?
MARYA: No!
A night on the
town with the girls!
I'll call Sahara.
SAHARA: Hello?
MARYA: How about a
night out tonight?
Waxie needs some cheering up.
SAHARA: Perfect, why don't
we meet at Pony at nine.
I'll call Polly.
POLLY: Hello?
SAHARA: Waxie
needs cheering up.
We're meeting at Pony at nine.
POLLY: Great, see you then!
WAXIE: Toodles!
*
*
* Come take wine and roses
* Come take heaven and hell
* Come distill this
pain you're imposing *
* Come on to me
I'm someone else *
* Be here in my hour of need
* It stretched out to a
week but who's counting *
* Mama told there could be
* One man
without this doubt and *
* You got me
speaking in Chinese *
* Xie Xie and yes please
* How did you
reinvent kisses? *
* I got this spot
and you missed it *
* You don't look like much
* That jacket ain't working
* But you're
feeling like someone *
* I could get
close to in person *
WAXIE (VO): After a fun
evening of drinking, dancing,
flirting and walking and
laughing, we went to see my
very favorite performer
of all time... myself.
*
*
WAXIE (VO): That
night made me realize;
Love is one thing but
friendship is everything.
And at the end of
the day we're all just
little girls longing for love.
WAXIE (VO): The next morning,
feeling invigorated by my
night out with the girls, I
thought maybe Polly was right -
maybe love can be found online.
And I decided to create
my own Buttface profile.
*
*
RECEPTIONIST: Caine
Blackwell Design Associates -
We're committed to
your glamorous home,
the environment
and world peace.
How may I direct your call?
WAXIE: Caine
Blackwell, please.
RECEPTIONIST: Who
may I say is calling?
WAXIE: Waxie Moon.
RECEPTIONIST: One
moment Mis-ster Moon.
CAINE: ...And once that
permit comes through,
we can get started on
the second Space Needle.
Yes, ah, yes, yes.
Waxie Moon.
I hoped I'd hear from you.
WAXIE: Well hope springs
eternal Mr. Blackwell!
CAINE: He who has hope
has everything, Miss Moon.
WAXIE: Hope for the best.
CAINE: Learn from
yesterday, live for today,
hope for tomorrow.
WAXIE: Hope, sky and light.
Sailor's Delight.
A stitch in time saves hope...
CAINE: I'm
grateful you called.
How about a walk,
maybe, to the Space Needle?
WAXIE: The Space Needle?
That sounds like
something from the future.
What is it?
CAINE: It's a
Seattle landmark.
WAXIE: I've never heard of it.
Let's go!
*
* dear miss you're my
* You're my favorite one
* I can keep spying one
* No one here will ever know *
* What I saw
* Don't ever want to
give this feeling up *
* Not once or ever
* 6; 5 is coming up and I...
*
* Little things I find
* You leave behind
* I've been watching you
* While you primp and prune *
* And I like
everything that I see *
* We'll stand
together as the ocean burns *
* The airplanes flailing, making
love to sinking ships, O *
* The storms will
pull our limbs off *
* We'll replace
them all with sticks *
* And intertwined, my
love, we'll make a tree *
* One day that tree
will learn to be a forest *
* That bears the fruit that
makes the world remember taste,
* And on a hill
your voice will echo *
* Circling 'round and 'round
* Chased by a voice that
sounds a lot like mine *
* Our voices swirling
'round will make a vortex *
* With atoms smashing
passionately divine, O *
* And spitting
bits of matter 'round *
* The building blocks of life
* And from those goops of
ooze new life will spring *
* I will watch the species
rise, in spite of their decline
* As they grow to
outer space one day *
* You can be the mother earth
and raise your many kids *
* Even as they claw
and bite your skin off *
* Then we'll have
apocalypse for breakfast *
* The landscape boiling
deep-fried to a crusty black, O
* And after all is silent
* We'll give
each other smiles *
* And close our cosmic
eyes and go to sleep *
* But don't cry, love
* Because we still have time
* There's still a
sky outside tonight *
* And I have eyes for you
*
*
MARYA: Bravo! Bravo! Bravo!
POLLY: So did you take my advice
and make a Buttface profile?
WAXIE: Not only did I post one
but I have some exciting news!
I am getting married!
MARYA: That's soooo romantic!
SAHARA: When are we
going to get to meet him?
WAXIE: Soon enough.
He can't wait to meet you.
POLLY: Well until then, let's
celebrate and go shopping!
*
*
WAXIE: I just, I
can't believe this is
finally happening to me.
POLLY: Oh Waxie,
we're so happy for you.
It just gives me some
hope for my own future.
MARYA: Polly, you
know you're next.
POLLY: All right guys, I
can't lie to you anymore.
Brian isn't eligible
for parole this time.
SAHARA: Why
didn't you tell us?
WAXIE: Oh honey, I'm so sorry.
MARYA: He could break out.
Have you seen Prison Break?
POLLY: It's OK.
It'll be fine.
Oh Waxie, this day is
supposed to be all about you.
You shouldn't be crying.
You should be laughing.
MARYA: She's right.
WAXIE: I feel like I'm going
to have a whole new life.
In few minutes
I'll be a new Waxie.
SAHARA: Well, I hope this
new Waxie can still find time
for her old best friends.
WAXIE: Oh come here, you.
*
* A missile cabled
through the night *
* Wonder if it made
its destination *
* The big prize all
for you and me *
* Raise your arms
catch and release *
* Seek the window
tatters in the air *
* Fall forward
deep into the sea *
* The window
capers off in pairs *
* Fast forward
sleeping next to me *
* A mess I've grown
used to living in *
* Wonder if I'll make
my destination *
* Don't fight
more for you and me *
* Raised above the caste
that faces east *
* Seek the window
tatters in the air *
* Fall forward
deep into the sea *
* The window
capers off in pairs *
* Fast forward
sleeping next to me *
*
DAUGHTER: Mommy! Mommy!
WAXIE: Over here my darling.
DAUGHTER: Caaaiine Blackwell?
Who's Caine Blackwell, mommy?
WAXIE: Why,
that's your father.
DAUGHTER: Is
Daddy in the ground?
WAXIE: Yes my darling,
your daddy's in the
ground with the angels.
LOU HENRY: Mommy, mommy, look!
WAXIE: That's
wonderful Lou Henry.
Now come along darling.
It's time to go home.
*
*
Why, hello Margaret.
How lovely to see you.
Won't you come in?
MARGARET: Oh, I can't stay.
I just dropped by and bring
you these eggs and let you
know that Harold and I
will not be able to attend
your anniversary party.
Harold's mother has taken ill
How are you Waxie?
WAXIE: Oh you know me.
I'm just fine.
MARGARET: Frankly,
I was a bit surprised
to receive your invitation.
What with the circumstances
being what they are,
I thought maybe you would forgo
having a gathering this year.
WAXIE: Perhaps
that would be wise,
it's certainly
not practical...
but Caine always
loved this party so.
It was important for him to
commemorate the day we met.
MARGARET: Well, suit yourself.
I know Harold and I will
be sad to miss the party.
All right then,
I'll see you later.
WAXIE: Margaret, may
I tell you a secret?
My modeling agent
called and it looks Iike
I'll be filming a commercial.
I'm actually
headed there right now.
So perhaps it's OK to
splurge a little after all.
MARGARET: Well, Waxie,
I'm so happy for you.
You'll have to tell me all
about it when I see you next.
*
WAXIE: I just
couldn't get this horrible
waxy film out of my head!
Line?
DIRECTOR: Cut!
Cut!
Cut!
Can't you remember your lines?
You only got three of them.
What is with you?
We do not have all day.
If you insist on
wasting my time....
I told them she wasn't
right for this part.
WAXIE: I'm sorry.
I haven't done this in years.
I put my career on
hold to be a homemaker.
And today is my
anniversary....
DIRECTOR: Action!
WAXIE: I just
couldn't get this horrible
waxy film out of my cat.
But then, I
discovered Pussy's Choice.
Pussy's Choice works so
well, you'll be tempted
to use it on your own hair.
I am.
DIRECTOR: Great!
Now you can go home to your
husband and homemake away.
DIRECTOR: At least,
her pussy did well.
CAMERA MAN: I
thought she was a widow.
DIRECTOR: Oh poor
miserable soul.
*
WAXIE: Oh Caine,
you were so able.
Happy anniversary.
I miss you so much.
GUEST 1: For a widow she
certainly looks happy.
GUEST 2: Do you think
that color is appropriate?
GUEST 3: I heard she doesn't
have a dime to her name.
GUEST 4: For a woman her
age she's positively radiant.
GUEST 5: I feel
sorry for the children....
not having a father.
GUEST 6: Ladies, hold
on to your husbands.
GUEST 7: It's nice to
see someone could
afford such extravagance.
GUEST 8: She
spared no expense.
GUEST 9: Did you
see the flowers?
GUEST 10: Oh, deviled eggs.
My favorite.
WAXIE: Ladies and Gentlemen,
your attention please.
My lovely daughter has
prepared a special act for our
gay bash and she would
like to share with you now.
WAXIE: All right, my darling.
DAUGHTER: Now, mommy, now?
WAXIE: Yes.
*
*
Charles?
CHARLES: The door was open.
WAXIE: May I help you?
If you're looking
for a washroom,
it is right down the hall.
CHARLES: May I
have this dance?
WAXIE: Why Charles of course.
Are you and Lily
having a good time?
CHARLES: I'm
having a good time now,
dancing with the most
beautiful person in the room.
You look positively
resplendent tonight.
WAXIE: Resplendent?
Oh Charles I don't even
know what that means.
CHARLES: Well, it
means available.
WAXIE: Charles!
Please!
CHARLES: Well, you
are a widow after all.
WAXIE: And
you're a married man.
CHARLES: With desires.
WAXIE: Let's just
forget you ever said this.
CHARLES: I can't hold back.
You know you want me.
WAXIE: Charles, stop it!
CLIFF: Is
everything okay out here?
WAXIE: Charles,
I said stop it!
CLIFF: Leave the lady alone!
CHARLES: I don't take
orders from domestics.
CLIFF: Well,
perhaps maybe you should.
CLIFF: Beg your
pardon, Miss Moon,
I have to take out the trash.
WAXIE: Leaving so soon?
I hope you had a
good time, Cliff.
Thank you again.
CLIFF: Thank you, maam.
WAXIE: Please, won't
you stay a bit longer?
Have a cocktail with me.
CLIFF: I would, it's
a very nice party.
But I think I'm making some
of your guests uncomfortable.
WAXIE: Nonsense!
You are always welcome here
CLIFF: Well, I
appreciate the invitation.
And I wonder if you'll
consider an invitation from me.
My friends and I are
having a little gathering
tonight in the village.
Nothing big, nothing fancy.
Just some music and poetry.
WAXIE: Poetry?
You can read?
CLIFF: Yes, maam.
Would you care to join me?
WAXIE: I'd be honored.
CLIFF: Great I'll
pick you up in an hour.
WAXIE: That sounds lovely.
*
CLIFF: Miss Moon, these
are my friends - Davey,
Florence, Pearl and Jerry.
They're real cool cats.
WAXIE: It's
lovely to meet you.
CLIFF: Davey's a preacher.
WAXIE: Preacher?
JERRY: Don't worry mama.
It's a Special kind of church.
DAVEY: You
should come sometime.
WAXIE: Oh, I don't know.
I'm Episcopalian.
CLIFF: Don't mind them.
FLORENCE: Where did
you find this dame?
CLIFF: Wouldn't
you like to know?
FLORENCE: Have you
shown her your paintings yet?
WAXIE: Paintings?
Oh, you're an artist?
What kind of landscapes?
FLORENCE: Honey, landscapes?
His work is like jazz -
smooth, streaked with
rhythm and intellectual.
WAXIE: Intellectual?
Oh look, it's my maid!
Betsy!
*
* I have wasted years
* sleeping on a bed of ice
* Frozen
laughter, frozen tears *
* A perfect frozen paradise *
* But smoke from a
field of burning clover *
* Choked me wide awake
* I thought the
world had frozen over *
* That was my
first mistake... *
*
* Everything is on fire
* And now, now it's my turn
* The world's
alight with desire *
* Watch me, watch me burn
* I can't tell
* is it heaven or hell?
* there are flames
everywhere I turn *
* Everything is on fire
* Watch me, watch me burn
*
* Across the burning seas
* our souls ignite
* Ten thousand degrees
* Fahrenheit
* Spark to flame
* Blaze to conflagration *
* Smoke to smolder
* From house to house,
from nation to raging nation *
*
* Everything is on fire
* And now, now it's my turn
* The world's
alight with desire *
* Watch me, watch me burn
* I can't tell
* is it heaven or hell?
* there are flames
everywhere I turn *
* Everything is on fire
* Watch me, watch me burn *
* Temples and towers
* Flags and flower
* Minutes and hours
* Watch them burn
* Peaks and prairies
* Barges and ferries
* Lofts and libraries
* Burn, burn, burn,
burn, burn, burn, burn *
* Rocks and ridges
* Banks and bridges
* Floors and fridges
* Watch them burn
* Villas and valleys
* Garrets and galleys
* Bowling alleys
* Burn, burn, burn,
burn, burn, burn, burn *
* Paris, Rome
* London, Nome
* Tokyo, LA,
* Seoul, Taipei,
* Everywhere,
everyone, everything, *
* everything,
everything is ... *
* Everything is on fire
* And now, now it's my turn
* The world's
alight with desire *
* Watch me, watch me burn
* I can't tell
* if it's heaven or hell?
* there are flames
everywhere I turn *
* Everything is on fire
* Watch me, watch me burn,
burn, burn, burn, burn, burn *
* Ohhhhh,
* I thought the
world had frozen over *
* We have so much to learn.
WAXIE: What was that music?
CLIFF: It's
called rock n roll.
WAXIE: Rock'n'roll?
It's so....
Different.
I've never heard
anything like it.
Oh, Betsy, you were wonderful!
I had no idea you
could do such things.
BETSY: Who are
you to judge me?
WAXIE: I don't understand.
Betsy I didn't mean to...
CLIFF: Are you all right?
WAXIE: Yes, I'm all right.
But I think I offended Betsy.
I feel just terrible about it.
Oh Cliff, you know I don't
understand these things.
CLIFF: Should I take you home?
WAXIE: Perhaps
that would be best.
*
*
BETSY: The milk boy is here.
WAXIE: Thank you Betsy.
Good day, Davey.
Always nice to see you.
Won't you come in?
I just made your favorite,
chocolate chip cookies.
MILK BOY: No, maam.
Not today.
WAXIE: Don't be silly Billy.
They're hot from the oven.
I'm sure you have
time for one cookie.
MILK BOY: I
really shouldn't maam.
I've been advised against it.
WAXIE: Advised against it?
What nonsense?
That's terrible advice -
everyone enjoys a cookie.
MILK BOY: No maam,
I've been advised not
to socialize with you.
WAXIE: Not to....
I don't understand.
We've always been
friends, Kenny.
What on earth are
you talking about?
MILK BOY: My mom says what
goes on here is inappropriate.
WAXIE: Inappropriate how?
MILK BOY: I don't know maam
but my mom says you're a woman
living in sin with loose
morals and a penchant for
servants half your age.
WAXIE: Oh, Timmy
that's just not true.
You mustn't
believe such things.
Where on earth would
she get that idea?
MILK BOY: From your
neighbor, Miss Margaret.
WAXIE: Margaret?
MILK BOY: Yes maam.
WAXIE: Oh Timmy, you mustn't
believe everything you hear.
MILK BOY: Here is your milk!
*
*
WAXIE: What have I done!
BETSY: Let me
clean up your mess.
LOU HENRY: Mommy!
Mommy!
Look!
WAXIE: Oh my darling
Lou Henry what happened?
DAUGHTER: He got beat
up by boys at school who
said you were a bad person.
Are you a bad person Mommy?
WAXIE: No my
darling, I'm your mother.
LOU HENRY: Mommy, mommy, look!
WAXIE: Oh don't
cry my darling.
Everything will be all right.
I promise.
BETSY: Miss Moon, there is
a man on the phone for you.
His name is Cliff.
WAXIE: Not now Betsy.
Tell him I'm not in.
Mommy did a very bad thing.
But I know how to
make it all better.
*
*
CLIFF: Hello Waxie.
*
WAXIE: Cliff you're a
nice man but you're
slightly younger than me.
And yes we have
something special between
us but that was one night.
A night of magic, but I
come from a world that's so
old-fashioned and unforgiving.
And you, your world....
Your world is so...
So free...
unlike mine.
Maybe if things were different
we could find happiness.
But I can't change
my life for you.
I have children to think about
- Lou Henry and my daughter,
they need me right now.
They need me more than I
need you or you need me.
Oh life is so cruel....
Being a widow I never
thought I'd find love again.
But here you are - knocking
at my door, welcoming
me into a world of poetry
and loud rock'n'roll music.
And yes it's irresistible but
I'm a grown woman and yes I
have needs but there
are also responsibilities.
Perhaps I've said too much.
Have you ever experienced
a passion like this before?
One that unites souls?
Of course you have, but me I'm
a woman who knows nothing of
these things, a family woman.
My life consists of luncheons,
bridge games and country clubs
and I'm feeling faint...
I...
But you're right.
Maybe it's selfish to give up
on this love that's so rare.
Like a bird, a fine bird.
In a cage,
swimming, in a lake,
a singing bird like chirping
song about a dream of a woman
me, but what do I
know about music?
The music we made that
night was different.
So different like modern art,
expressive rhythms with red
paint and streaks of blue
and orange like a sunset.
Oh how we don't
want the sun to set
on the twilight of our lives.
Living together is impossible.
Living, struggle,
we must work work,
I must work.
Otherwise, how
can I support you,
your art, my children.
But you're right, look at me,
I came here to end this and
here I am in your arms
and all I can think is
Yes Yes Yes.
I must be with
you Cliff, I can't
imagine a life without you.
Why should we be
slaves to our passion?
Oh how I long to
be responsible,
reasonable and strong, but
the booming voice in my head
screams, Yes,
yes,yes, I love you,
I Love you Cliff, I
love you my Darling.
I choose you you
you, my one and only.
My one.
Thank you.
Oh, Cliff, I'm so happy.
*
LOU HENRY: Mommy, mommy!
Look!
DAUGHTER: Mommy, are you
ready for your surprise?
WAXIE: Of course, my darling.
DAUGHTER: You have to
close your eyes first.
WAXIE: All right my darling.
*
*
CLIFF: It's finished!
Do you want to see?
WAXIE AND CHILDREN: Yes!
WAXIE: It's so wonderful.
You're soooo talented.
But it looks like there
is an empty space here?
CLIFF: There
doesn't have to be.
WAXIE: You're right.
There doesn't have to be.
*
*
DAUGHTER: Mommy,
what are you doing?
WAXIE: I'm going to
make a sandwich for Cliff.
I want you to watch and learn.
DAUGHTER: We're going
to make a sandwich?
WAXIE: Yes, my darling.
There's a time in every
woman's life when she needs to
take care of her man.
This is one of those times.
WAXIE: Betsy!
Make a sandwich!
*
*
What are you?
I don't understand...
CLIFF: I, I'm sorry...
WAXIE: No!
Don't say it!
I don't want to hear it!
Can't we work this out?
We can get you
professional help.
I'll pay.
CLIFF: But I'm happy
being a homosexual.
WAXIE: No, don't say
that word, that word.
It's wrong.
It's wrong - you disgust me!
Don't you understand?
We're meant to be together.
We fit.
Men should be men.
Women should be women.
*
*
DAUGHTER: Do you
still love me Mommy?
WAXIE: Of course, my
darling I've always loved you.
And I'll never stop.
DAUGHTER: Why doesn't Mister
Cliff come around anymore?
WAXIE: Oh dear daughter,
mommy wants to be alone.
Go outside and play
with your brother.
*
MARGARET: Your maid let me in.
WAXIE: Have you run out of
rumors about me that you can
spread around
the neighborhood?
Is that why you're here?
MARGARET: Oh
Waxie, forgive me!
It was never my
intention to hurt you.
WAXIE: What you did...
what all of you did made
me feel so alone, so judged.
I will never feel like a part
of this neighborhood again.
I will never feel welcome.
MARGARET: Waxie,
that's not true.
That could never be true.
We love you.
You'll always be one of us.
Why everyone in the
neighborhood thinks of you as
if you're their own family.
It's just that sometimes
family has to teach you a
lesson, a hard lesson
but in a loving way.
WAXIE: Well, I
learned my lesson.
You will never see
me with him again.
MARGARET: Waxie,
that is wonderful news.
It's for the best, you'll see.
Why now our children
can play together again.
I will let you use
my pool like before.
Dry your tears.
Now, I know how to
turn that horrid grin
into a beautiful smile.
I'll go home and
get some eggs.
I will return shortly.
Don't go anywhere.
LOU HENRY: Mommy, mommy look!
BETSY: Miss Moon, your
daughter has stepped into a
bear trap and
fallen down the well.
WAXIE: Noooooo!!!!
WAXIE: Noooooo!!!!
*
*
DOCTOR: Are you the
poor child's mother?
WAXIE: Yes, doctor.
How is she?
DOCTOR: I can see where
she gets her great looks.
WAXIE: Oh, thank you!
Do you mean to tell
me that she will live?
DOCTOR: Live?
She will do a lot
more than live.
She will run and dance and
prance and do all the silly
childish things which are
so commonplace at her age
WAXIE: Oh Doctor, I'm
such a bad mother.
DOCTOR: A lucky
mother, I would say.
Bear traps are dangerous.
In the thirty years
I've been a doctor,
I've never seen a
child fall into a well and
not come out a cripple.
WAXIE: It is all my fault.
I don't deserve....
DOCTOR: Nonsense.
No mother can protect her
children from every bear trap
that life throws at us.
All we can do is endure
and hope that God loves us.
WAXIE: Oh doctor
you're such a philosopher.
You understand so
much about life.
I wish I could
understand more.
Ever since my husband died I
felt like a diamond earring
that someone just
tossed into the gutter.
I keep on shining
as bright as I can,
hoping that
someone will see me,
reach their hand through
the bars of the gutter grate,
pick me up, wash
me and treasure me.
But all I can see
is waste matter,
waste matter everywhere.
And then I shudder and
think - how long can I shine?
How long until I'm so
covered in waste matter that
no one will ever find me?
DOCTOR: What was
your husband's name?
WAXIE: Caine Blackwell.
DOCTOR: It can't be.
WAXIE: You don't
understand doctor.
That was his name
- Caine Blackwell.
DOCTOR: It can't be.
All these years.
WAXIE: What is happening?
DOCTOR: Can't
be...I looked so hard.
How could I miss it?
NURSE: The good doctor served
with your husband in the war.
The cruel war made them
the closest of friends.
More than friends.
WAXIE: Oh no, not
him too, not homosex....
NURSE: They were brothers.
Thicker, thicker than blood.
WAXIE: Not homo?
NURSE: Of course not.
They were soldiers.
Your husband told him all
about you and the children.
WAXIE: How nice.
NURSE: As they lay
there in the trenches,
drenched in blood
and their own urine,
covered in mud
and other things,
so close to losing
their grip on sanity,
so close to losing
their faith and hope,
your husband would tell
stories about his life with
you and the children.
And those stories
kept them alive,
those stories kept
them wanting to survive.
WAXIE: Oh Caine....
NURSE: One day your husband
was so enraptured with his
memories of you, so
focused on the stories he was
telling that he didn't
notice a grenade fall
into the trench next to him.
DOCTOR: The next thing
I knew, I was cradling
his head in my arms.
Just his head.
The doctor in me knew that no
man could survive such a blow.
But then for the
briefest moment,
he opened his eyes.
And he opened his mouth.
And he whispered to
me, ever so quietly -
"Find Waxie and take
care of her forever for me."
"Find Waxie and take
care of her forever for me."
And I looked him in the
eyes and I made him a promise.
DOCTOR: I am here now.
You don't have to cry.
*
DAUGHTER: Mommy, I'm hurt.
WAXIE: Yes my darling, there
is a time in everybody's life
when we get hurt.
And sometimes hurts hurt.
But you're going
to be better soon.
Very soon.
I promise.
Mommy loves you so much.
You are the light of my life.
You're my little jewel.
And sometimes jewels fall.
Fall into a bear trap.
And when they fall
they get tarnished like
fine silver in a museum.
But you take out the cloth and
tarnish remover and you shine
and shine it till
it's bright again,
and even better
than it was before.
A bright brilliant
shiny, shiny jewel.
Remember my daughter,
every person is a jewel.
And you are no exception.
You're such a precious stone.
Like an emerald.
Or sapphire.
Or an opal
DAUGHTER: I'm a diamond.
LOU HENRY: Mommy, mommy, look.
WAXIE: Or a peridot.
Whatever kind of
precious stone you are,
you'll find a way to shine again
better than new, like gold.
DAUGHTER: Mommy, the doctor said
he's going to be our new daddy.
Is that true?
WAXIE: We'll see, my darling.
I've been thinking -
maybe I don't need
a man to make me happy.
Maybe, a woman can
take care of herself.
Oh I shouldn't say such
radical things to my daughter.
My darling, I
need some fresh air.
I will take a walk outside
but I will be right back.
Don't let your
brother break anything.
*
*
WOMAN: The dark lord
has arrived, bow down!
*
DEVIL: [RUSSIAN]
Vaksi, karaleva maya.
Ya tak dolgo tebya iskal.
WAXIE: You must be mistaken.
I'm a good Christian woman.
DEVIL: [RUSSIAN] Yesli ty menya
ne polyubish ya tebya ubyu.
DEVIL: [RUSSIAN] Yesli ty menya
ne polyubish ya tebya ubyu.
WAXIE: I don't understand.
I don't speak Russian.
*
*
COP: Seattle
Police Department.
Put your weapons down.
*
*
COP: Look at this place.
What a fucking mess.
COP 2: Hey -
check out that one.
COP 1: I've seen
her face before.
COP 2: What a shame!
Such a beauty!
*
*
* My, open mouth
* Catching flies
as I walk down *
* Hills toward your house
* At an ever breaking speed
* Duly recognized by
the American public *
* At home watching TV
* Face hits the ground
* As I fall down
* Been so long since I felt
* This way
* Towards anyone else
* If I could only tell you
about all the days that I *
* have thought
of you and me *
* I'd talk to a wall of
smiles magic tricks and
magic eyes like a dove *
*
* Oh I'm not surprised I'm
not taken aback by you *
* Oh I'm not surprised I'm
not taken aback by you *
* Oh I'm not falling for your
magic tricks with mirrors, *
* smoke and sparkles
flashing wands and *
* palms that
read like a psalm. *
*
*
* Are we machines?
* You can find us at
the gasoline pumps *
* In machines *
* My doggie has a microchip
* I'm backing up
the memory bits *
* How long will
you remember this *
* How long will
you remember? *
*
* I want machines
* I spend
twelve hours a day *
* On my machines
* Embracing all
I want to know *
* Recording
where I often go *
* Light the way
you bring me home *
* Bring me *
* Why am I so lonely?
* Just build me
a new machine *
* Why am I so lonely
* Just build me
a new machine *
I'm Jinx Monsoon.
And welcome to my
gracious drawing room.
And I'm here to introduce
Waxie Moon in "Fallen Jewel".
One of the best movies
you'll ever see, ever.
[laughter]
This movie has everything:
original music,
burlesque,
boy-lesque...um dancing,
fun, frivolity,
romance, the devil!
It's got just about everything
in it as well as some of
Seattle's favorite
queer performers.
Waxie Moon
himself, BenDeLaCreme,
um, yours truly, Sarah
Rudinoff and Keira McDonald
who aren't queer but
we like 'em anyway.
Inga Ingenue,
Lou Henry Hoover,
Nick Garrison, Jackie
Hell the list goes on
and on ladies and gentlemen.
Seattle has quite a bit
of talent to work with.
The best thing about this
movie is it is unlike anything
you've ever seen before.
It's got that right balance
of cult appeal and just enough
charm, sass and wit to keep you
in your seat begging for more.
[laughter]
Which is how most of my
audiences are except um,
they are actually
begging for less.
Um, but it's the
opposite with this movie,
you know you can't get enough.
Another wonderful charming
aspect of this cult hit is
that is has monthly screenings
here in the Northwest and
throughout the country I'm
sure, eventually if not yet.
[laughing]
You know I actually hosted
the first one you know
being a you know little
character in the movie myself.
Waxie Moon and I performed a
touching and charming tribute
to Bette Midler in "The Rose".
So look for a cult screening
near you or come to Seattle
for one of our monthly
screenings of this quaint
and very unique little film.
[laughter]
Of course any flick
by Wes Hurley is a
flick worth being flung.
So flick it,
stick it, lick it.
I don't care.
Just pop your popcorn, pour
your gin and settle down ready
to watch Waxie Moon
in "Fallen Jewel".
Good night my babies and
have a wonderful evening.
*
* Only if I could freeze
that moment in time *
* Before I had to
make this choice *
* In a blink of an eye,
everything I knew *
* Slipped away...
WAXIE (VO):
Seattle, Washington.
The emerald city, the Oz
of the Pacific Northwest.
A place, not only of
courage, brains and heart,
but also coffee,
salmon and Savage love.
WAXIE: And, while yes, as a
gender-blending queer lady
boylesque performance-art
solo stripping sensation,
I do occasionally
wear ruby slippers,
for me, there's no
place like home.
WAXIE (VO): It is also home
to my three best friends.
Meet Marya, a high-powered
lawyer and surgeon.
MARYA: I object!
WAXIE (VO): She's
always working on a case.
WAXIE (VO): Next
there is Polly.
As the owner of a darling
bakeshop she knows that the
way to a man's heart is
through his stomach..
And then of
course there's Sahara.
A woman in charge
SAHARA: Well, of course I can.
Mr. Businessman.
I'll have three girls in
cheerleading outfits with
three cases of lubricant in your
hotel room within the hour.
Credit card number, please.
*
WAXIE (VO): And then
there is me, Waxie Moon.
*
One sunny Seattle morning
the girls and I met at our
favorite brunch
spot - Café Flora -
to discuss our
favorite subject...
POLLY: Men!
WAXIE: I love the rugged
outdoorsy look of Seattle men.
MARYA: Me, too, but that
strong independent type can
be difficult to penetrate.
SAHARA: Penetrate?
I love penetrating a man.
It's called pegging.
I prefer doggy style...
WAXIE: No
Sahara, by penetrate,
we mean get to know.
SAHARA: Oh.
Well there are other
ways to penetrate a man.
POLLY: Sahara, you always
take it the extra inch.
SAHARA: Don't you
mean extra inches?
MARYA: OK, back to topic.
Yes, I mean get to know.
Seattle men are
difficult to get to know.
POLLY: You know why that is?
Men who are attracted
to Seattle want an urban
environment but they
also want their space.
SAHARA: It's true.
I mean, this is
such a great city.
We're a major metropolitan
and we have tons of gorgeous
space, green space,
with trees and everything.
Cock.
WAXIE: Yes but that's
the kind of men you meet.
Someone who's kind of like
hi-it's-really-nice-to -
meet-you-but-don't-get-too-
close-I-want-my-space.
MARYA: Exactly.
It's especially hard for
a working professional
career-minded woman
to find available men.
Sure, there are lots of
attractive men out there,
but who has the time?
Just the other day....
JUDGE: Overruled.
MARYA: I object.
JUDGE: Sustained.
MARYA: Thank you, your honor!
HANDSOME LAWYER: Good work.
Now that the case is closed
would you care to have a drink
with me sometime?
MARYA: I don't drink
coffee with the opposing team.
HANDSOME LAWYER: Who
said anything about coffee?
Can I have your number?
MARYA: All right...
Ooh.
Another time.
I'm needed at the hospital
for an emergency surgery.
I'll see you around.
HANDSOME LAWYER: Wait!
Your helmet!
WAXIE: You think it's hard?
Imagine having no time
and being a celebrity.
Finding love seems
impossible for me.
Just the other day.....
WAXIE: Oh, thank you.
RUNNER GUY: Beautiful
keys for a beautiful lady.
WAXIE: Why thank
you kind sir, Mr.
handsome-key-handing-me-guy.
RUNNER GUY: So
when's your next show?
PARK SEX MAN #1: Oh my god!
Look!
It's Waxie Moon!
PARK SEX MAN #2:
I love your work.
PARK SEX MAN #3:
Do you cum glitter?
SAHARA: Men, men, men.
Maybe, men are the problem.
The last 45 men I
had this morning
couldn't even get me off.
So I went to a lesbian mixer.
MARYA: Sahara!
You - a lesbian?
SAHARA: Don't act so shocked.
I'll do the
occasional muff dance.
So I'm at this mixer with tons
of available gorgeous women.
I brought the most
gorgeous one home with me.
*
*
THE MAN: Hey
girls, may I join you?
SAHARA: Sure, go right ahead.
JACKIE HELL: Who
is this, Sahara?
SAHARA: Just something
leftover from last night.
JACKIE HELL: But you told me
you were a lesbian like me?
SAHARA: Sorry.
But no matter how
gorgeous she was I realized
I just love cock too much.
POLLY: Stop!
Stop!
Sahara, you're always
talking about dirty dirty sex.
You shouldn't have sex
on the first date anyway!
What about romance and love?
Just the other day, I had
my forth date with Brian.
I think things are
going beautifully.
He's sweet,
attentive, appreciative
and so very romantic
SAHARA: Have you had sex yet?
POLLY: No!
No!
No!
But we did have
a lovely dinner.
He knows how to treat a woman.
Do you like that honey?
Don't forget to
use your napkin.
Here, let me, honey.
Would you like some dessert?
How was that?
Would you like to go
see a movie tonight?
Great, me, too!
WAXIE (VO): Hearing about
the girls' dating ordeals and
thinking about my own
love life got me wondering,
when you're a stripper is
it possible to shed all the
layers and
actually find true love?
Can a gender-blending queer
lady boylesque performance art
solo stripping sensation
find the man of her dreams?
Or are celebrities destined to
remain Sleepless in Seattle?
SAHARA: ....so I was using
three fingers like he asked
and then I realized -
he has four testicles!
MARYA: So Polly, you never
told us how you met Brian.
POLLY: Oh, we met on Buttface.
WAXIE: Buttface?
What's that?
MARYA: Don't tell me you
don't have a Buttface profile.
NICK: Ladies!
No talking in class!
WAXIE, POLLLY, MARYA: Sorry!
POLLY: I wondered why
you never Buttfaced me.
WAXIE Buttface?
I don't even know what
you're talking about.
MARYA: It's an online social
networking dating service.
You know I'm really surprised,
but I like this Buttface.
WAXIE: I don't know about the
whole online dating thing...
POLLY: Buttface
isn't like other sites.
It's simple.
You just
Buttload your profile,
get responses and meet
tons of available men.
NICK: Ladies!
What did I tell you?
*
* What power are you
* Who from below
* Has made me rise,
* Unwillingly and slow
* From beds of
everlasting snow! *
*
* Can't you see how
stiff, how stiff *
* And wondrous old
* Far unfit to
bear the bitter cold *
* I can scarcely move,
* Or draw my breath,
* Can scarcely move,
* Or draw my breath.
* Let me, let me,
Let me, let me, *
* Freeze again....
* Let me, let me
* Freeze again to death!
* Let me, let me,
Let me, let me, *
* Freeze again....
* to death!
*
*
WAXIE (VO): Later on
Marya was performing
an emergency surgery.
Surgery.
MARYA: All right,
we need fourteen
liters of dimomalpapin.
He's losing blood quickly.
Connect the external aorta to
the trachiatic valve of the
complex
carbohydrate nerve endings.
MOTHER: Connection complete.
MARYA: We're losing him.
MOTHER: Try
distancing the gallbladder
from the latent lip suture.
MARYA: Good idea.
MOTHER: Hurry; there
is very little time.
MARYA: OK, I'm going ahead
and making a severing incision
across the
oblongata palpitator.
MOTHER: That's too risky.
MARYA: We have no choice!
The periodontal
abdominal canal is blocked.
MOTHER: OK, we're going in on
my count - in three, two, one.
MARYA: And we are clear.
Good job everyone, good job.
MOTHER: Nurse, go
ahead and stitch him up.
Good job to you, daughter.
That was a tough one.
Another life saved.
You handled yourself so well.
MARYA: Well, I
learned from the best.
MOTHER: Oh enough flattery.
Let's clean up and
go to the courthouse.
MARYA: I thought you
had another surgery?
MOTHER: No, but
speaking of heart.
When is my daughter going
to give me a granddaughter?
MARYA: Oh mother you
know I'm too busy for that.
I can't even find
time to meet a man.
MOTHER: Well, you
better make time.
Your clock is running out.
Tick tock tick tock.
And there is more to
life than just your career.
MARYA: Mother I cannot believe
I'm hearing this from you.
You're Seattle's chief
surgeon and chief justice.
You've always instilled in me
the value of an education and
career path.
MOTHER: Yeah, and I'd give
it all up in a heartbeat
for a fat little grandchild.
MARYA: Oh, mother.
WAXIE (VO): Meanwhile
across town Polly was
mending a heart of her own.
POLLY: Did you enjoy
my cooking my sweet?
How you gobbled it up.
Yum, yum, yum.
Was it tasty?
You look so cute today.
No one looks sexier than you.
I was thinking maybe I should
take time off from the bakery
and maybe we should start
thinking about getting married.
I really really want a large
wedding with all our friends.
Maybe, in June.
We could go up to the
resort in Whistler or the
country club in Bothel.
What do you think my angel?
BRIAN: Where do you
keep your cash, bitch?
POLLY: I love you honey.
WAXIE: Meanwhile across town
Marya and Sahara were having a
serious
discussion of their own.
SAHARA: Oh my god,
I didn't realize
running a brothel was illegal.
MARYA: Well, you're lucky this
time you got off with just a
warning but that's because you
know the best lawyer in town.
SAHARA: That's
why I called you.
MARYA: Well it was a good
thing you did but next time
you might not be so lucky.
You may want to reconsider
this whole prostitution thing.
SAHARA: Reconsider?
But sex is not only my
lively hood it's my life.
I can't just go without it.
MARYA That's for
you to figure out.
I would just hate to
see you in the big house.
SAHARA: You're right -
prison and prostitution is no
laughing matter.
MARYA: All right call
me if you need anything.
I'll talk to you later.
SAHARA: Thanks Marya.
SAHARA: Ladies we need to
make some changes around here.
Today's close call with the law
was a little too close to home.
I've decided to suspend
operations immediately.
No more sex for sale.
From this point forward
the Happy Endings Brothel
will be closed for business.
I have put too much
emphasis on sex in my life.
Today I realized that
sex is not the answer.
Our society is obsessed
with sex - vaginal sex,
oral sex, anal sex,
same sex, missionary,
69, doggy style,
fisting, stumping,
scat, flurries,
plushies, the Sarah Palin,
the Dirty Sanchez, Pao Ga
Ma!, Belgian chocolate,
Two Girls in a Tea
Cup, Crème de Minth,
watersports,
pegging, indoor sex,
outdoor sex, salad sex,
you name it's all out there.
I guess, my friend
Polly was right.
Maybe, we should all
just give up sex and
commit to personal growth.
From this point forward I
will not only be closed for
business but I'm going to
swear off sex completely.
Ladies clean out your lockers!
*
*
WAXIE (VO): Meanwhile
across town that afternoon
I had three blind dates.
And I was feeling hopeful.
SALESMAN DATE: All right,
I don't have a whole heck
a lot of time for this so
let's get right down to
brass tacks, shall we.
What do you do for a living?
You mind if I go first?
I'm a doctor.
I know, right.
Congratulations.
Call your mom.
She's gonna be thrilled.
Doctor Dave, that's
what they call me.
ERNIE VON
SCHAMLTZ: Here you go.
So what do you think?
Wanna look inside?
Wanna see?
I would love to show you.
PERV DATE: Well, so
far I like what I see.
You know what else
I'd like to see?
Your privates.
PERV DATE: Your Vera Wang.
Frotterate your gooey duck.
Your bulging b-worm.
Your Ladybird Johnson.
Your nuts and bolts.
WAXIE (VO): Three horrifying
dates and three cups of coffee
later, I felt hopeless and
decided to cheer myself up by
taking a walk in
Volunteer Park.
*
LYNN SHELTON: Looks
like the moon is waning...
*
MARYA: Oh Waxie.
That's the price of fame.
WAXIE: I know but I just
started to cheer up and she
made me feel
muahhhh blah blah blah
MARYA: You know what you need?
WAXIE: A hot fuck in
a cold winter cabin?
MARYA: No!
A night on the
town with the girls!
I'll call Sahara.
SAHARA: Hello?
MARYA: How about a
night out tonight?
Waxie needs some cheering up.
SAHARA: Perfect, why don't
we meet at Pony at nine.
I'll call Polly.
POLLY: Hello?
SAHARA: Waxie
needs cheering up.
We're meeting at Pony at nine.
POLLY: Great, see you then!
WAXIE: Toodles!
*
*
* Come take wine and roses
* Come take heaven and hell
* Come distill this
pain you're imposing *
* Come on to me
I'm someone else *
* Be here in my hour of need
* It stretched out to a
week but who's counting *
* Mama told there could be
* One man
without this doubt and *
* You got me
speaking in Chinese *
* Xie Xie and yes please
* How did you
reinvent kisses? *
* I got this spot
and you missed it *
* You don't look like much
* That jacket ain't working
* But you're
feeling like someone *
* I could get
close to in person *
WAXIE (VO): After a fun
evening of drinking, dancing,
flirting and walking and
laughing, we went to see my
very favorite performer
of all time... myself.
*
*
WAXIE (VO): That
night made me realize;
Love is one thing but
friendship is everything.
And at the end of
the day we're all just
little girls longing for love.
WAXIE (VO): The next morning,
feeling invigorated by my
night out with the girls, I
thought maybe Polly was right -
maybe love can be found online.
And I decided to create
my own Buttface profile.
*
*
RECEPTIONIST: Caine
Blackwell Design Associates -
We're committed to
your glamorous home,
the environment
and world peace.
How may I direct your call?
WAXIE: Caine
Blackwell, please.
RECEPTIONIST: Who
may I say is calling?
WAXIE: Waxie Moon.
RECEPTIONIST: One
moment Mis-ster Moon.
CAINE: ...And once that
permit comes through,
we can get started on
the second Space Needle.
Yes, ah, yes, yes.
Waxie Moon.
I hoped I'd hear from you.
WAXIE: Well hope springs
eternal Mr. Blackwell!
CAINE: He who has hope
has everything, Miss Moon.
WAXIE: Hope for the best.
CAINE: Learn from
yesterday, live for today,
hope for tomorrow.
WAXIE: Hope, sky and light.
Sailor's Delight.
A stitch in time saves hope...
CAINE: I'm
grateful you called.
How about a walk,
maybe, to the Space Needle?
WAXIE: The Space Needle?
That sounds like
something from the future.
What is it?
CAINE: It's a
Seattle landmark.
WAXIE: I've never heard of it.
Let's go!
*
* dear miss you're my
* You're my favorite one
* I can keep spying one
* No one here will ever know *
* What I saw
* Don't ever want to
give this feeling up *
* Not once or ever
* 6; 5 is coming up and I...
*
* Little things I find
* You leave behind
* I've been watching you
* While you primp and prune *
* And I like
everything that I see *
* We'll stand
together as the ocean burns *
* The airplanes flailing, making
love to sinking ships, O *
* The storms will
pull our limbs off *
* We'll replace
them all with sticks *
* And intertwined, my
love, we'll make a tree *
* One day that tree
will learn to be a forest *
* That bears the fruit that
makes the world remember taste,
* And on a hill
your voice will echo *
* Circling 'round and 'round
* Chased by a voice that
sounds a lot like mine *
* Our voices swirling
'round will make a vortex *
* With atoms smashing
passionately divine, O *
* And spitting
bits of matter 'round *
* The building blocks of life
* And from those goops of
ooze new life will spring *
* I will watch the species
rise, in spite of their decline
* As they grow to
outer space one day *
* You can be the mother earth
and raise your many kids *
* Even as they claw
and bite your skin off *
* Then we'll have
apocalypse for breakfast *
* The landscape boiling
deep-fried to a crusty black, O
* And after all is silent
* We'll give
each other smiles *
* And close our cosmic
eyes and go to sleep *
* But don't cry, love
* Because we still have time
* There's still a
sky outside tonight *
* And I have eyes for you
*
*
MARYA: Bravo! Bravo! Bravo!
POLLY: So did you take my advice
and make a Buttface profile?
WAXIE: Not only did I post one
but I have some exciting news!
I am getting married!
MARYA: That's soooo romantic!
SAHARA: When are we
going to get to meet him?
WAXIE: Soon enough.
He can't wait to meet you.
POLLY: Well until then, let's
celebrate and go shopping!
*
*
WAXIE: I just, I
can't believe this is
finally happening to me.
POLLY: Oh Waxie,
we're so happy for you.
It just gives me some
hope for my own future.
MARYA: Polly, you
know you're next.
POLLY: All right guys, I
can't lie to you anymore.
Brian isn't eligible
for parole this time.
SAHARA: Why
didn't you tell us?
WAXIE: Oh honey, I'm so sorry.
MARYA: He could break out.
Have you seen Prison Break?
POLLY: It's OK.
It'll be fine.
Oh Waxie, this day is
supposed to be all about you.
You shouldn't be crying.
You should be laughing.
MARYA: She's right.
WAXIE: I feel like I'm going
to have a whole new life.
In few minutes
I'll be a new Waxie.
SAHARA: Well, I hope this
new Waxie can still find time
for her old best friends.
WAXIE: Oh come here, you.
*
* A missile cabled
through the night *
* Wonder if it made
its destination *
* The big prize all
for you and me *
* Raise your arms
catch and release *
* Seek the window
tatters in the air *
* Fall forward
deep into the sea *
* The window
capers off in pairs *
* Fast forward
sleeping next to me *
* A mess I've grown
used to living in *
* Wonder if I'll make
my destination *
* Don't fight
more for you and me *
* Raised above the caste
that faces east *
* Seek the window
tatters in the air *
* Fall forward
deep into the sea *
* The window
capers off in pairs *
* Fast forward
sleeping next to me *
*
DAUGHTER: Mommy! Mommy!
WAXIE: Over here my darling.
DAUGHTER: Caaaiine Blackwell?
Who's Caine Blackwell, mommy?
WAXIE: Why,
that's your father.
DAUGHTER: Is
Daddy in the ground?
WAXIE: Yes my darling,
your daddy's in the
ground with the angels.
LOU HENRY: Mommy, mommy, look!
WAXIE: That's
wonderful Lou Henry.
Now come along darling.
It's time to go home.
*
*
Why, hello Margaret.
How lovely to see you.
Won't you come in?
MARGARET: Oh, I can't stay.
I just dropped by and bring
you these eggs and let you
know that Harold and I
will not be able to attend
your anniversary party.
Harold's mother has taken ill
How are you Waxie?
WAXIE: Oh you know me.
I'm just fine.
MARGARET: Frankly,
I was a bit surprised
to receive your invitation.
What with the circumstances
being what they are,
I thought maybe you would forgo
having a gathering this year.
WAXIE: Perhaps
that would be wise,
it's certainly
not practical...
but Caine always
loved this party so.
It was important for him to
commemorate the day we met.
MARGARET: Well, suit yourself.
I know Harold and I will
be sad to miss the party.
All right then,
I'll see you later.
WAXIE: Margaret, may
I tell you a secret?
My modeling agent
called and it looks Iike
I'll be filming a commercial.
I'm actually
headed there right now.
So perhaps it's OK to
splurge a little after all.
MARGARET: Well, Waxie,
I'm so happy for you.
You'll have to tell me all
about it when I see you next.
*
WAXIE: I just
couldn't get this horrible
waxy film out of my head!
Line?
DIRECTOR: Cut!
Cut!
Cut!
Can't you remember your lines?
You only got three of them.
What is with you?
We do not have all day.
If you insist on
wasting my time....
I told them she wasn't
right for this part.
WAXIE: I'm sorry.
I haven't done this in years.
I put my career on
hold to be a homemaker.
And today is my
anniversary....
DIRECTOR: Action!
WAXIE: I just
couldn't get this horrible
waxy film out of my cat.
But then, I
discovered Pussy's Choice.
Pussy's Choice works so
well, you'll be tempted
to use it on your own hair.
I am.
DIRECTOR: Great!
Now you can go home to your
husband and homemake away.
DIRECTOR: At least,
her pussy did well.
CAMERA MAN: I
thought she was a widow.
DIRECTOR: Oh poor
miserable soul.
*
WAXIE: Oh Caine,
you were so able.
Happy anniversary.
I miss you so much.
GUEST 1: For a widow she
certainly looks happy.
GUEST 2: Do you think
that color is appropriate?
GUEST 3: I heard she doesn't
have a dime to her name.
GUEST 4: For a woman her
age she's positively radiant.
GUEST 5: I feel
sorry for the children....
not having a father.
GUEST 6: Ladies, hold
on to your husbands.
GUEST 7: It's nice to
see someone could
afford such extravagance.
GUEST 8: She
spared no expense.
GUEST 9: Did you
see the flowers?
GUEST 10: Oh, deviled eggs.
My favorite.
WAXIE: Ladies and Gentlemen,
your attention please.
My lovely daughter has
prepared a special act for our
gay bash and she would
like to share with you now.
WAXIE: All right, my darling.
DAUGHTER: Now, mommy, now?
WAXIE: Yes.
*
*
Charles?
CHARLES: The door was open.
WAXIE: May I help you?
If you're looking
for a washroom,
it is right down the hall.
CHARLES: May I
have this dance?
WAXIE: Why Charles of course.
Are you and Lily
having a good time?
CHARLES: I'm
having a good time now,
dancing with the most
beautiful person in the room.
You look positively
resplendent tonight.
WAXIE: Resplendent?
Oh Charles I don't even
know what that means.
CHARLES: Well, it
means available.
WAXIE: Charles!
Please!
CHARLES: Well, you
are a widow after all.
WAXIE: And
you're a married man.
CHARLES: With desires.
WAXIE: Let's just
forget you ever said this.
CHARLES: I can't hold back.
You know you want me.
WAXIE: Charles, stop it!
CLIFF: Is
everything okay out here?
WAXIE: Charles,
I said stop it!
CLIFF: Leave the lady alone!
CHARLES: I don't take
orders from domestics.
CLIFF: Well,
perhaps maybe you should.
CLIFF: Beg your
pardon, Miss Moon,
I have to take out the trash.
WAXIE: Leaving so soon?
I hope you had a
good time, Cliff.
Thank you again.
CLIFF: Thank you, maam.
WAXIE: Please, won't
you stay a bit longer?
Have a cocktail with me.
CLIFF: I would, it's
a very nice party.
But I think I'm making some
of your guests uncomfortable.
WAXIE: Nonsense!
You are always welcome here
CLIFF: Well, I
appreciate the invitation.
And I wonder if you'll
consider an invitation from me.
My friends and I are
having a little gathering
tonight in the village.
Nothing big, nothing fancy.
Just some music and poetry.
WAXIE: Poetry?
You can read?
CLIFF: Yes, maam.
Would you care to join me?
WAXIE: I'd be honored.
CLIFF: Great I'll
pick you up in an hour.
WAXIE: That sounds lovely.
*
CLIFF: Miss Moon, these
are my friends - Davey,
Florence, Pearl and Jerry.
They're real cool cats.
WAXIE: It's
lovely to meet you.
CLIFF: Davey's a preacher.
WAXIE: Preacher?
JERRY: Don't worry mama.
It's a Special kind of church.
DAVEY: You
should come sometime.
WAXIE: Oh, I don't know.
I'm Episcopalian.
CLIFF: Don't mind them.
FLORENCE: Where did
you find this dame?
CLIFF: Wouldn't
you like to know?
FLORENCE: Have you
shown her your paintings yet?
WAXIE: Paintings?
Oh, you're an artist?
What kind of landscapes?
FLORENCE: Honey, landscapes?
His work is like jazz -
smooth, streaked with
rhythm and intellectual.
WAXIE: Intellectual?
Oh look, it's my maid!
Betsy!
*
* I have wasted years
* sleeping on a bed of ice
* Frozen
laughter, frozen tears *
* A perfect frozen paradise *
* But smoke from a
field of burning clover *
* Choked me wide awake
* I thought the
world had frozen over *
* That was my
first mistake... *
*
* Everything is on fire
* And now, now it's my turn
* The world's
alight with desire *
* Watch me, watch me burn
* I can't tell
* is it heaven or hell?
* there are flames
everywhere I turn *
* Everything is on fire
* Watch me, watch me burn
*
* Across the burning seas
* our souls ignite
* Ten thousand degrees
* Fahrenheit
* Spark to flame
* Blaze to conflagration *
* Smoke to smolder
* From house to house,
from nation to raging nation *
*
* Everything is on fire
* And now, now it's my turn
* The world's
alight with desire *
* Watch me, watch me burn
* I can't tell
* is it heaven or hell?
* there are flames
everywhere I turn *
* Everything is on fire
* Watch me, watch me burn *
* Temples and towers
* Flags and flower
* Minutes and hours
* Watch them burn
* Peaks and prairies
* Barges and ferries
* Lofts and libraries
* Burn, burn, burn,
burn, burn, burn, burn *
* Rocks and ridges
* Banks and bridges
* Floors and fridges
* Watch them burn
* Villas and valleys
* Garrets and galleys
* Bowling alleys
* Burn, burn, burn,
burn, burn, burn, burn *
* Paris, Rome
* London, Nome
* Tokyo, LA,
* Seoul, Taipei,
* Everywhere,
everyone, everything, *
* everything,
everything is ... *
* Everything is on fire
* And now, now it's my turn
* The world's
alight with desire *
* Watch me, watch me burn
* I can't tell
* if it's heaven or hell?
* there are flames
everywhere I turn *
* Everything is on fire
* Watch me, watch me burn,
burn, burn, burn, burn, burn *
* Ohhhhh,
* I thought the
world had frozen over *
* We have so much to learn.
WAXIE: What was that music?
CLIFF: It's
called rock n roll.
WAXIE: Rock'n'roll?
It's so....
Different.
I've never heard
anything like it.
Oh, Betsy, you were wonderful!
I had no idea you
could do such things.
BETSY: Who are
you to judge me?
WAXIE: I don't understand.
Betsy I didn't mean to...
CLIFF: Are you all right?
WAXIE: Yes, I'm all right.
But I think I offended Betsy.
I feel just terrible about it.
Oh Cliff, you know I don't
understand these things.
CLIFF: Should I take you home?
WAXIE: Perhaps
that would be best.
*
*
BETSY: The milk boy is here.
WAXIE: Thank you Betsy.
Good day, Davey.
Always nice to see you.
Won't you come in?
I just made your favorite,
chocolate chip cookies.
MILK BOY: No, maam.
Not today.
WAXIE: Don't be silly Billy.
They're hot from the oven.
I'm sure you have
time for one cookie.
MILK BOY: I
really shouldn't maam.
I've been advised against it.
WAXIE: Advised against it?
What nonsense?
That's terrible advice -
everyone enjoys a cookie.
MILK BOY: No maam,
I've been advised not
to socialize with you.
WAXIE: Not to....
I don't understand.
We've always been
friends, Kenny.
What on earth are
you talking about?
MILK BOY: My mom says what
goes on here is inappropriate.
WAXIE: Inappropriate how?
MILK BOY: I don't know maam
but my mom says you're a woman
living in sin with loose
morals and a penchant for
servants half your age.
WAXIE: Oh, Timmy
that's just not true.
You mustn't
believe such things.
Where on earth would
she get that idea?
MILK BOY: From your
neighbor, Miss Margaret.
WAXIE: Margaret?
MILK BOY: Yes maam.
WAXIE: Oh Timmy, you mustn't
believe everything you hear.
MILK BOY: Here is your milk!
*
*
WAXIE: What have I done!
BETSY: Let me
clean up your mess.
LOU HENRY: Mommy!
Mommy!
Look!
WAXIE: Oh my darling
Lou Henry what happened?
DAUGHTER: He got beat
up by boys at school who
said you were a bad person.
Are you a bad person Mommy?
WAXIE: No my
darling, I'm your mother.
LOU HENRY: Mommy, mommy, look!
WAXIE: Oh don't
cry my darling.
Everything will be all right.
I promise.
BETSY: Miss Moon, there is
a man on the phone for you.
His name is Cliff.
WAXIE: Not now Betsy.
Tell him I'm not in.
Mommy did a very bad thing.
But I know how to
make it all better.
*
*
CLIFF: Hello Waxie.
*
WAXIE: Cliff you're a
nice man but you're
slightly younger than me.
And yes we have
something special between
us but that was one night.
A night of magic, but I
come from a world that's so
old-fashioned and unforgiving.
And you, your world....
Your world is so...
So free...
unlike mine.
Maybe if things were different
we could find happiness.
But I can't change
my life for you.
I have children to think about
- Lou Henry and my daughter,
they need me right now.
They need me more than I
need you or you need me.
Oh life is so cruel....
Being a widow I never
thought I'd find love again.
But here you are - knocking
at my door, welcoming
me into a world of poetry
and loud rock'n'roll music.
And yes it's irresistible but
I'm a grown woman and yes I
have needs but there
are also responsibilities.
Perhaps I've said too much.
Have you ever experienced
a passion like this before?
One that unites souls?
Of course you have, but me I'm
a woman who knows nothing of
these things, a family woman.
My life consists of luncheons,
bridge games and country clubs
and I'm feeling faint...
I...
But you're right.
Maybe it's selfish to give up
on this love that's so rare.
Like a bird, a fine bird.
In a cage,
swimming, in a lake,
a singing bird like chirping
song about a dream of a woman
me, but what do I
know about music?
The music we made that
night was different.
So different like modern art,
expressive rhythms with red
paint and streaks of blue
and orange like a sunset.
Oh how we don't
want the sun to set
on the twilight of our lives.
Living together is impossible.
Living, struggle,
we must work work,
I must work.
Otherwise, how
can I support you,
your art, my children.
But you're right, look at me,
I came here to end this and
here I am in your arms
and all I can think is
Yes Yes Yes.
I must be with
you Cliff, I can't
imagine a life without you.
Why should we be
slaves to our passion?
Oh how I long to
be responsible,
reasonable and strong, but
the booming voice in my head
screams, Yes,
yes,yes, I love you,
I Love you Cliff, I
love you my Darling.
I choose you you
you, my one and only.
My one.
Thank you.
Oh, Cliff, I'm so happy.
*
LOU HENRY: Mommy, mommy!
Look!
DAUGHTER: Mommy, are you
ready for your surprise?
WAXIE: Of course, my darling.
DAUGHTER: You have to
close your eyes first.
WAXIE: All right my darling.
*
*
CLIFF: It's finished!
Do you want to see?
WAXIE AND CHILDREN: Yes!
WAXIE: It's so wonderful.
You're soooo talented.
But it looks like there
is an empty space here?
CLIFF: There
doesn't have to be.
WAXIE: You're right.
There doesn't have to be.
*
*
DAUGHTER: Mommy,
what are you doing?
WAXIE: I'm going to
make a sandwich for Cliff.
I want you to watch and learn.
DAUGHTER: We're going
to make a sandwich?
WAXIE: Yes, my darling.
There's a time in every
woman's life when she needs to
take care of her man.
This is one of those times.
WAXIE: Betsy!
Make a sandwich!
*
*
What are you?
I don't understand...
CLIFF: I, I'm sorry...
WAXIE: No!
Don't say it!
I don't want to hear it!
Can't we work this out?
We can get you
professional help.
I'll pay.
CLIFF: But I'm happy
being a homosexual.
WAXIE: No, don't say
that word, that word.
It's wrong.
It's wrong - you disgust me!
Don't you understand?
We're meant to be together.
We fit.
Men should be men.
Women should be women.
*
*
DAUGHTER: Do you
still love me Mommy?
WAXIE: Of course, my
darling I've always loved you.
And I'll never stop.
DAUGHTER: Why doesn't Mister
Cliff come around anymore?
WAXIE: Oh dear daughter,
mommy wants to be alone.
Go outside and play
with your brother.
*
MARGARET: Your maid let me in.
WAXIE: Have you run out of
rumors about me that you can
spread around
the neighborhood?
Is that why you're here?
MARGARET: Oh
Waxie, forgive me!
It was never my
intention to hurt you.
WAXIE: What you did...
what all of you did made
me feel so alone, so judged.
I will never feel like a part
of this neighborhood again.
I will never feel welcome.
MARGARET: Waxie,
that's not true.
That could never be true.
We love you.
You'll always be one of us.
Why everyone in the
neighborhood thinks of you as
if you're their own family.
It's just that sometimes
family has to teach you a
lesson, a hard lesson
but in a loving way.
WAXIE: Well, I
learned my lesson.
You will never see
me with him again.
MARGARET: Waxie,
that is wonderful news.
It's for the best, you'll see.
Why now our children
can play together again.
I will let you use
my pool like before.
Dry your tears.
Now, I know how to
turn that horrid grin
into a beautiful smile.
I'll go home and
get some eggs.
I will return shortly.
Don't go anywhere.
LOU HENRY: Mommy, mommy look!
BETSY: Miss Moon, your
daughter has stepped into a
bear trap and
fallen down the well.
WAXIE: Noooooo!!!!
WAXIE: Noooooo!!!!
*
*
DOCTOR: Are you the
poor child's mother?
WAXIE: Yes, doctor.
How is she?
DOCTOR: I can see where
she gets her great looks.
WAXIE: Oh, thank you!
Do you mean to tell
me that she will live?
DOCTOR: Live?
She will do a lot
more than live.
She will run and dance and
prance and do all the silly
childish things which are
so commonplace at her age
WAXIE: Oh Doctor, I'm
such a bad mother.
DOCTOR: A lucky
mother, I would say.
Bear traps are dangerous.
In the thirty years
I've been a doctor,
I've never seen a
child fall into a well and
not come out a cripple.
WAXIE: It is all my fault.
I don't deserve....
DOCTOR: Nonsense.
No mother can protect her
children from every bear trap
that life throws at us.
All we can do is endure
and hope that God loves us.
WAXIE: Oh doctor
you're such a philosopher.
You understand so
much about life.
I wish I could
understand more.
Ever since my husband died I
felt like a diamond earring
that someone just
tossed into the gutter.
I keep on shining
as bright as I can,
hoping that
someone will see me,
reach their hand through
the bars of the gutter grate,
pick me up, wash
me and treasure me.
But all I can see
is waste matter,
waste matter everywhere.
And then I shudder and
think - how long can I shine?
How long until I'm so
covered in waste matter that
no one will ever find me?
DOCTOR: What was
your husband's name?
WAXIE: Caine Blackwell.
DOCTOR: It can't be.
WAXIE: You don't
understand doctor.
That was his name
- Caine Blackwell.
DOCTOR: It can't be.
All these years.
WAXIE: What is happening?
DOCTOR: Can't
be...I looked so hard.
How could I miss it?
NURSE: The good doctor served
with your husband in the war.
The cruel war made them
the closest of friends.
More than friends.
WAXIE: Oh no, not
him too, not homosex....
NURSE: They were brothers.
Thicker, thicker than blood.
WAXIE: Not homo?
NURSE: Of course not.
They were soldiers.
Your husband told him all
about you and the children.
WAXIE: How nice.
NURSE: As they lay
there in the trenches,
drenched in blood
and their own urine,
covered in mud
and other things,
so close to losing
their grip on sanity,
so close to losing
their faith and hope,
your husband would tell
stories about his life with
you and the children.
And those stories
kept them alive,
those stories kept
them wanting to survive.
WAXIE: Oh Caine....
NURSE: One day your husband
was so enraptured with his
memories of you, so
focused on the stories he was
telling that he didn't
notice a grenade fall
into the trench next to him.
DOCTOR: The next thing
I knew, I was cradling
his head in my arms.
Just his head.
The doctor in me knew that no
man could survive such a blow.
But then for the
briefest moment,
he opened his eyes.
And he opened his mouth.
And he whispered to
me, ever so quietly -
"Find Waxie and take
care of her forever for me."
"Find Waxie and take
care of her forever for me."
And I looked him in the
eyes and I made him a promise.
DOCTOR: I am here now.
You don't have to cry.
*
DAUGHTER: Mommy, I'm hurt.
WAXIE: Yes my darling, there
is a time in everybody's life
when we get hurt.
And sometimes hurts hurt.
But you're going
to be better soon.
Very soon.
I promise.
Mommy loves you so much.
You are the light of my life.
You're my little jewel.
And sometimes jewels fall.
Fall into a bear trap.
And when they fall
they get tarnished like
fine silver in a museum.
But you take out the cloth and
tarnish remover and you shine
and shine it till
it's bright again,
and even better
than it was before.
A bright brilliant
shiny, shiny jewel.
Remember my daughter,
every person is a jewel.
And you are no exception.
You're such a precious stone.
Like an emerald.
Or sapphire.
Or an opal
DAUGHTER: I'm a diamond.
LOU HENRY: Mommy, mommy, look.
WAXIE: Or a peridot.
Whatever kind of
precious stone you are,
you'll find a way to shine again
better than new, like gold.
DAUGHTER: Mommy, the doctor said
he's going to be our new daddy.
Is that true?
WAXIE: We'll see, my darling.
I've been thinking -
maybe I don't need
a man to make me happy.
Maybe, a woman can
take care of herself.
Oh I shouldn't say such
radical things to my daughter.
My darling, I
need some fresh air.
I will take a walk outside
but I will be right back.
Don't let your
brother break anything.
*
*
WOMAN: The dark lord
has arrived, bow down!
*
DEVIL: [RUSSIAN]
Vaksi, karaleva maya.
Ya tak dolgo tebya iskal.
WAXIE: You must be mistaken.
I'm a good Christian woman.
DEVIL: [RUSSIAN] Yesli ty menya
ne polyubish ya tebya ubyu.
DEVIL: [RUSSIAN] Yesli ty menya
ne polyubish ya tebya ubyu.
WAXIE: I don't understand.
I don't speak Russian.
*
*
COP: Seattle
Police Department.
Put your weapons down.
*
*
COP: Look at this place.
What a fucking mess.
COP 2: Hey -
check out that one.
COP 1: I've seen
her face before.
COP 2: What a shame!
Such a beauty!
*
*
* My, open mouth
* Catching flies
as I walk down *
* Hills toward your house
* At an ever breaking speed
* Duly recognized by
the American public *
* At home watching TV
* Face hits the ground
* As I fall down
* Been so long since I felt
* This way
* Towards anyone else
* If I could only tell you
about all the days that I *
* have thought
of you and me *
* I'd talk to a wall of
smiles magic tricks and
magic eyes like a dove *
*
* Oh I'm not surprised I'm
not taken aback by you *
* Oh I'm not surprised I'm
not taken aback by you *
* Oh I'm not falling for your
magic tricks with mirrors, *
* smoke and sparkles
flashing wands and *
* palms that
read like a psalm. *
*
*
* Are we machines?
* You can find us at
the gasoline pumps *
* In machines *
* My doggie has a microchip
* I'm backing up
the memory bits *
* How long will
you remember this *
* How long will
you remember? *
*
* I want machines
* I spend
twelve hours a day *
* On my machines
* Embracing all
I want to know *
* Recording
where I often go *
* Light the way
you bring me home *
* Bring me *
* Why am I so lonely?
* Just build me
a new machine *
* Why am I so lonely
* Just build me
a new machine *