Watch If You Dare (2018) - full transcript

What many are saying is the most disturbing film of 2018, Watch if you Dare revolves around a series of horrifying incidents. If you press play, look away ;)

♪ La la la ♪

♪ La la la ♪

♪ La la la ♪

♪ La la la ♪

♪ La la la ♪

♪ La la la ♪

♪ La la la ♪

♪ La la la ♪

You're not in a hurry?

Nope, one more client.

Ugh, late night.

Yep, if she shows.

Do you mind finishing
up in the back?

I'm running late already.

I got it.

Don't wanna keep
the boy waiting.

Not this boy.

How do I look?

Beautiful, lady.

He doesn't wait, he's an idiot.

All right, I'll see ya later.



Hey, Mandy.

Come on over.

I know I was in full support
of growing out the hair,

but it's been too
long, I missed you.

I know, I know.

I've been so busy.

So, what are we doin' tonight?

A wash and a blowout.

You in a hurry?


I was gonna offer you
some wine, but...


Uh, I think so.

I can make time for that.


Thank you.



There you go.

Oh, thank you.

So, what's the hurry?

Ugh, throwing a gigantic
party later this evening.

Boss' 25th anniversary
with the company.

I need to look perfect.

We can do that.

I'm hoping this goes a long way

towards finally getting
that promotion.

That glass ceiling
is a real bitch.

So where's the party gonna be?

The Benjamin Lofts.

Have you ever been?


It is so gorgeous.

And I hired the best caterer.

Oh, it's gonna taste so good.





Mandy, Mandy, calm
down, calm down.

- Claire!
- You're gonna hurt yourself.

Claire, what's happening?!

I just wanna try it on, okay?

I'm gonna give it back.

I just, I need you to be quiet.

- Okay?
- What the fuck, Claire?!

No, I just, I need you, just.

Please, please, please.


Help me!

Hi, Pepper.

Where's my girl?

Come here, baby.

Good girl.

Look what I have.

It's a good one, isn't it?

I need to look perfect.

I need to look perfect.

I need to look perfect.



That glass ceiling
is a real bitch.

Aaron: Serves me right
just to see you there.

Yeah, man.

Rough night?

Yeah, I'm hurting a
little bit, dude.

Ah, you can see it.

Hold on, you know what,

I gotta get a bottle of water.

Ah, mate, ah, you're
drinkin', man.

So, what you up to today?

This is it, this
is my every day.


- Yeah.
- Lucky to get out,

take advantage of the sun?

12 years old.

So, he was about 17.



So, he was 17, and
the daughter is 12.

- Yeah.
- Awful.

I know, what you do if your
12-year-old got pregnant?

What would you do, Aaron?

Wouldn't be prepared
for that, would you?

You better go out and enjoy
the sun yourself, yeah.

I'm gonna try, I'm gonna try.

I don't know, man, probably.

Sure, dude, fuckin' hit me up.

Um, I'm gonna be around
there, I mean, not too late.

Nine o'clock?

Yeah, so just get
in touch with me,

and then maybe we can
grab a couple of beers

and get a little
wild or something.



You think you can be here,
bastard, I fuckin' told you.

Stay the fuck away from here.


Open the door!


No dream, Mueller.

You got the invite.

They called and told
me about it yesterday.

And you waited until
now to tell me, Chef?

Well, I thought it'd be fun
to let you stew a bit.

Man, I thought you
were mad at me

for screwing up the
payroll last week.

Yeah, that's what made it so
much fun to let you stew.

Do you know how long
I've been waiting

for an invitation to Kitchen X?

Yeah, you've been going
on about it for months.

Keep in mind, it's a secret.

There's a reason Kitchen X

is called an underground

Health Department nearly
shut us down a few years ago

because some food
blogger got too mouthy.

This stays between you and me.

God, I hate the
Health Department.

Look, even if I had anyone
to tell, I wouldn't.

I'm serious, Mueller,
you can't tell anyone.

You can't tell any
waitresses or customers

or any of your foodie friends
in your foodie chatrooms.

No one, not even
your girlfriend.

Hannah, I have officially
been invited to Kitchen X.

That's great, hun.

I wish I wasn't outta
town or I'd go with you.

Although, you might
wanna be careful

who you share this info with.

You haven't told
anyone else, have you?

No, no, I promised
Chef John I wouldn't,

but I had to tell somebody.

Hannah, this is it.

This is what my life has
been heading towards.

I've been working
at a restaurant

for as long as I can remember.

When I was a kid,

I worked for the neighborhood
diner washing dishes.

I worked my way through
college serving tables.

Fast forward to now,

and I am the general
manager of a four-star,

chef-driven, fine-dining

serving some of the
best food in town.

Well, you seem to
enjoy working there.

It's a great job,
pay's not bad either.

But to be honest,

the best reward is getting
to work with someone

that's the caliber
of Chef John Lando.

The food, the food is killer,

especially in the last
couple of months.

And you know me, I like trying
new recipes, I like to cook,

but if I've got Chef John

cooking for me, why bother?

You're lucky to be
doing what you love.

I've never met anyone who's
as much into food as you are.

I can't help it!

You know, lately, I've been
reading more cookbooks

than I have fiction

and watching more Food
Network than I have films.

Oh, speaking of which, it's a
new Wine Dungeon commercial.


Slave, what is that
you are drinking?

It's not a corporate-produced
wine, is it?

No Mistress Beth, it is a
state-grown, I swear it.

Ah, Riesling, I see
you are learning.

This Riesling is not dry!

Don't you Americans know

that your Riesling doesn't
have to be sweet?

Haven't you learned anything?

Don't be punished
by corporate wines.

Don't let bad wines put
you in submission.

Come to the Wine Dungeon
and get what you deserve.

Get 30% off when you
mention this ad.

Mueller, Mueller!

Sorry, I got sidetracked, bleh.

What was I saying?

Oh yeah, look, if
you were to say

my life revolves around food,
I'd say you were right,

and that is a life

Hey Chef.

You ready?

You have no idea.

Where is this place?

North of town, don't
worry about it.

I'll drive, you leave
your car here.

What the hell is that?

Bottle of wine I
brought for dinner.

No, don't even think
about bringing that.

Greg and Beth are
pairing wines tonight.

Greg and Beth from
the Wine Dungeon?

The very same.

Do yourself a favor,
leave that in your car.

How many of these things
have you been to, Chef?

Quite a few now.

Each one gets better.

The kid running this thing

really pushes the envelop
with each dinner,

exposing us all to things
we've never tried before.

Who brought you your first time?

French Milt.

Whoa, French Milt?

He's gonna be here tonight?

Oh, he wouldn't miss it.

He usually contributes a
little something on his own.


Welcome, my friends.

Welcome to Kitchen X.

It is definitely my pleasure

to serve you this
evening, Mr. Mueller.

That's Teddy from
Spirits Speakeasy.

I love the cocktails there.


May I present diver scallop

wrapped with
applewood-smoked bacon,

topped with a pimenton
parsnip puree

with Espelette pepper
and a mustard seed.


I paired the scallop
with this impressive

little sparkler from
Spain, Via dei Borgia,

mostly because I thought
the terroir of a Bourgogne

would have been
too overpowering.

The delicacy of the scallops

seem to call for something
a bit more flighty.

Hi, I'm Beth, I'm from
the Wine Dungeon.


Uh, I'm a big fan
of you and Greg.

It's an honor to meet you.

I'm Mueller, I work for
John at Lando Seafood.

I love your commercials.

Oh, thank you, Mueller.

Always nice to help someone

develop their taste
for fine wines.

You don't drink corporate
wines, do you?

Because if you do.

I'm just kidding, honey.

Actually, I put
together a wine list

for Lando with some of...

I've actually never been there,

but I've heard some nice things.

If you ever want to
develop your wine list,

you should give me a call.

You know, I've been there.

Yeah, I wrote about its
opening in my blog.

I wasn't that impressed
with the service.

It seemed a bit untrained.

As I mentioned on
my blog, you know,

the food was a bit
uneven for my tastes.

A couple of the commenters
on my blog seem to agree,

but I'm sure you've worked
out those problems.

I'd like to think we have.

Oh, well, in that case,


Come, let me introduce
you to some people.

Shannon, have you
met Mr. Mueller?

I just love your restaurant.

Why, we haven't chatted
since, when was it?

You know, it seems like
just the other week,

I was telling Dwayne over
at the farmer's market

just how good the food
was over at your place.

You know Dwayne, right?

Uh, yeah...

He just finished an excellent
organic wine dinner

that was mind-blowing.

I told him that I
really loved lobster,

and you know what he does?

He puts lobster on the menu.

You have met Teddy,

but have you met French
Milt from Amuse-bouche?

It's an honor, Chef.

The first course is
just about ready,

and I need to apply
some finishing touches.

Would you mind
entertaining Mr. Mueller

while I see to the kitchen?

Ha, thank you.

Well, this place
is wonderful, huh?

How 'bout those scallops, huh?

Amazing, they were
soft and velvety,

and they were wrapped in
that smoked bacon, right?

Actually, the bacon should
have been described

as cured instead of smoked.

The devise Brandon
used involved pellets

instead of actual hardwood,

which negates it
as being smoked.

And personally, I would have
referred to it as pork belly,

since that's where
bacon comes from.

You you know that, right?

It comes from the belly?

And that was such an
inventive pairing,

the champagne and the bubbles
and the scallops, wow.

That's all I can say.

You and Greg really
know what you're doing.

It's not really all
that inventive,

if you think about it.

The pepper is counteracted

by the cool crispness
of the Spanish grape.

The acidity cuts through the
spice at, cuts it in half.

In fact, the pairing of
sparkling and scallops

is as old...

Ladies and gentlemen,
course one is now ready.

Please, join me at the table.

For the first course
of this evening,

I am proud to present my
version Reuben deconstructed,

complete with a corn beef
Wagyu, sauerkraut emulsion,

a Swiss cheese cream,
Russian foam dressing,

and a rye crouton.

I would like to
thank Beth and Greg

for pairing this with a lovely
pinot from Stover Creek.

Oh, the '07 vintage, of course.

Dungeon approved.

Ah, please, everyone enjoy.

We eat to support life
and to practice the way.

Mm, corn beefing Wagyu,.

Oh Brendan, you are
something of a treat.

This is actually my first
time getting to taste Wagyu.

These flavors are amazing.

The Japanese believed they can
flavor this exclusive meat

with extensive care
and attention.

Not only do they
control their diet,

but they can feed the
cows beer and sake.

And they massage the cows, dude.

What a way to go.

The flavors in this
dish are so compelling.

I wish I could take a
photograph for my blog.

No photos!

I know, I just wish I could.

Wait till you try
the next course.


Oh, how are you
cooking the kidney?

Oh, kidney is a fun little dish.

First, you gotta get in and
pull off the membrane,

but you're gonna need to leave

a little fat on there
for flavor, you know.

Now, most people'll tell ya
that you gotta marinate it

with a little vinegar
and soy sauce

because it's a
pretty stinky organ,

but I like to add just a
little bit of milk in there

to cut right through the flavor.

Then, a little garlic,
a little onion,

and we dice that kidney up
into little half inchers

and drop it in, a little simmer.

Add some aromatics like a
bonyato or some carrots.

What's wrong, Mueller?

Little awful talk
makin' ya uneasy?

That's the problem
with most Americans.

They don't respect the awful.

No one seems to realize that
tenderloins are finite.

I'm sorry, I got dizzy
all of a sudden.

You don't have a shellfish
or peanut allergy, do you?

Uh, not that I know of.

If I had a shellfish allergy,

I'd just have to kill myself.

Me too.

My all-time favorite
wine is Vermentino,

especially the later
Sardinian vintages.

I can't fathom not
enjoying shrimp.

What's the matter, buddy?

You don't look so good.

I'm sorry, everyone.

I think the bubbles
from that champagne

are going to my head.

It's not champagne

unless it comes from
the region in France.

What you had was a Spanish Cava.

Uh, Mr. Mueller, would
you like to lie down?

I have a little room just to
the right of the kitchen,

if you like.

Hey buddy, how you doin'?

You did all right.

Chef, what's going on?

Why am I in this tub?

Hang in there, buddy.

You just got a little
ill at dinner.

You just need to rest
up a little bit.

Chef, Chef, get me outta here.

It's frickin' freezing in here.

We'll get ya out
in a little bit.

You just need to relax.

You don't wanna injure
yourself anymore, do ya?

I'm bleeding.

Chef, why am I bleeding?

Chef, what am I doing in
this tub with all this ice?

What, what are you doing?

French Milt said if that guy
keeps freaking out like that,

he's gonna pump adrenaline
through his body,

and I don't want him
spoiling those ribs

before I have a chance to show

the impressive pairing
I have for them.

Rose, buddy.

Not in the neck, you idiot.

You think tasting the adrenaline
and the endorphins are bad?

Once those drugs hit his system,

we'll be tasting
chemicals all night.

You have any idea

what I've been feeding
this guy for a week?

Please, somebody help me!

That would be the dinner bell.

Mm, Brandon, these black beans
are a wonderful addition.

The thigh really is
more marbled, Milt.

You were right.

I like the skin, crispy.

Where are the skins?

Oh, don't worry, pal.

I'll get ya some skins
for your doggie bag.

We'll have to process him
before the night's over,

so they'll be plenty
of stuff for everybody

for late night snackin'.

Bully's picked on me in school.

I never really fit in.

I admit I thought about suicide
for a long, long time,

but that's when I found food,
and I finally belonged,

and I started the blog,
and it was like,

for the first time, food
gave my life meaning.

He may have been a little
old for my tastes.

Think about it, nobody eats a
farm animal in its late 20s.

Yeah, that's why your work

with molecular gastronomy
is so amazing.

It's not tough or
stringy at all.

So, what's the next course?

It's something to know

I can look back on those
bullies back in school

and know that they know nothing

about the difference between
cured ham and prosciutto.

Savages know nothing
of sous vide, right?

Enjoy your white
zinfandel, peons.

Check his temperature.

Don't hit the bone, dude.

I know.

Teddy, Teddy, what's going on?

Calm down.

Oh my god, is that
meat thermometer?

Please, don't do this, please!

Please, don't do this!

He's still squealing in here?

Check these out.

They come up in New York.

This one's for power.

This one's for finesse.

Plus, they cut
through bone, dude.

No, no, no!

Hold still or it's gonna
hurt a whole lot worse!

You better get a
rollin' pin in here.

We gotta shut this guy up!

John: I'll take care
of this, French Milt.

Relax, and wrap those
fingers in bacon.

Remember, there's eight of us,

and we need all of his
fingers, and no thumbs.

Those are nasty.

I was gonna make a little
pate out of these guys,

but they went a different route.

Personally, I think
whole sous vide thing

is a passing phase and
overrated, but when in Rome.

Wow, I don't think we're
topping that thigh.

Hey, anybody want a Pimm's?

Oh, I just adore Pimm's.

I'll have some.

Don't even think of
ruining your palate

with those botanicals.

The juniper in that liquor

will counteract the
delicate tannins

and soft finish of the
Burgundy I've selected.

Oh, but this is gin-based.

I've got the Pimm's
number six up.

It's vodka.

I thought they stopped
making that years ago.

They did.

So, tell me, Brandon,

what inspired genius we'll be
enjoying in the next course.

Ah, it's a little something

French Milt and John,
they dream up.

We take the fingers,
we wrap them in bacon,

and serve them over
white bean cassoulet.

The white beans are from
the farmer's market.


Still think it's
fundamentally wrong

that we're keepin' him alive.

I mean, really, it is not right.

You're being ridiculous.

Am I really?

It is a proven fact
that the hogfish,

which is headshot in the
Keys, dies more quickly,

so heart stops pumpin'
blood to the organs,

which, in turn,
preserves the meat.

The fish never goes into
shock, mean never gets sour.

Ancient cultures
have long believed

that fear seasons the kill.

Fear and maybe a little
bit of bacon fat.

Everything tastes
better with bacon.

I prefer to do my flavorings
with my meat myself.

So Brandon, how does he taste?


You're a part of this?


I actually googled Donner party

cookin' methods the other day.

I musta looked at 100
different sites.

And there was this
very droll documentary

about the whole affair,
which I have to say,

conveniently left out how
they prepared the food.

Oh, that's ridiculous.

Those who don't learn about
mistakes in the past

are condemned to repeat them.

That's what they say.

Or something like that anyway.

The only thing I did find
was one word, roasted,

which could mean anything.

I mean, how did they roast it?

Did they use wood like in
a traditional barbecue,

and if so, what kinda wood,
hickory, oak, larch?

I think they used
mesquite out West.

Stop your whining.




Now, it's my pleasure
to serve you.

Where do you think
you're going, Mueller?

Look at you.

Tch, tch, tch, you won't make
it a block in your condition,

not unless you let me help you.

It's cold out there.

Give us the bottle, Mueller.

Stop being such a
naughty boy, Mueller.

You know you don't
wanna hurt us.

If you put that bottle down,

I promise I'll give you the
spanking of your life.

You know you wanna
give it to me.

I like my wine full bodied.

I am sick and tired

of being the one getting cut on.

I'm gonna kill everyone
of you sick mother...


You little food whore.

You guys owe me big
time for this one.

I was just supposed
to seduce the prey.

It was your job
to make the kill.

Oh well, the things I
do for a good meal.

Nice shot, Hannah.

See what I was
tellin' ya, Brandon?

Instant kill stops the heart,
meat doesn't go into shock.

I still think there are
exquisite flavors you get

when blood pump
through the heart,

especially the fearful heart.

You remember pig
we have last week.

Oh, you mean the cop?

What do we do about
all these bodies?

That's a whole lot of meat.

I have a very big deep freezer.

Let's chunk these bodies
up and get 'em on ice.

Let's get this heart out quick.

♪ You and me alone ♪

♪ With a hunger and a craving ♪

You're late.

Last minute red tape,
but we're here.


Can you please open this, sir?

There's no need to call me sir.

My friends call me Snake,
you know, like Plissken.

It's clear.

Keep movin', idiot.

Are you ready for this last step

in your recovery program, R.J.?

And why are we doing this?

I have to know,
once and for all,

that what I saw that
night wasn't real,

that it was just a figment of
my overactive imagination.


The sooner you can accept that,

the sooner you can move
on with your life.

Good luck, kid.

Thanks, Burton.

We'll give him 10 minutes.

So, what happened in there
that made him go all nutso?

Seven years ago, his
brother went missing.

R.J. was babysitting
him at the time.

He went looking for his
sibling all around the house

and later found him
dead in the basement.

He suffered a total mental
breakdown from the trauma.

He went into a catatonic state,

didn't talk or
communicate for a year.

He blamed himself for
his brother's death.

How'd his brother die?

He bled to death.

Somebody stabbed him?

Actually, someone cut
his genitals off.

Poor kid.

By the way, they never did
find his you know what.

Or the person who did it,

which only added to
R.J.'s paranoia.

His religious parents
had warned him

about playing with himself.

Masturbation was the
most sinful thing

you could do in that household,

and if you gave into
such devilish behavior,

the knob goblin would get you.

All right, you bastard.

If you're real, show yourself.

We may never know who
actually killed his brother,

but at least we can get some
closure for R.J.'s psyche.

The last step is acknowledging

there's no such thing as demonic
creatures in the basement.

Time's up R.J.

Did you hear me, R.J.?

Well, shit.

What the hell you doin'?

Call the police.

So, I still get paid
for this, right?

♪ You and me alone ♪

♪ With a hunger and a craving ♪

♪ Nothing here to eat ♪

♪ One of us must say ♪

♪ Usual, it's true ♪

♪ I'm stranger than
the normal mind ♪

♪ I offer it to you ♪

♪ So one of us may thrive ♪

♪ Cannibals in love ♪

♪ Cannibals in love ♪

♪ What good's an eye ♪

♪ If I can't see your flaws ♪

♪ Take it if you wish ♪

♪ I will always be in awe ♪

♪ And what good's a leg ♪

♪ If I plan to never leave ya ♪

♪ Carry me away ♪

♪ And I promise to
believe in ya ♪

♪ Cannibals in love ♪

♪ Cannibals in love ♪

Knob goblins?

Knob goblin, knob
goblin would get you.

Knob goblins?

Knob goblin would get
you, knob goblin.

The knob goblin would get you.