Wallah Be (2002) - full transcript
Life is not easy when you are a Danish kid called Aksel who loves meatballs. Especially when you would much rather want to be one of the cool Muslim boys who wear those golden necklaces and say cool stuff in Arabic. To worsen things, during the holidays Aksel gets teamed up with two girls, Fatima and Annika, to perform a song to the local youth club's song contest, Melodi Grand Prix. The girls want to do a girly pop song, and the entire jury panel consist of Muslim boys! Meanwhile the kids find a stray dog who needs a home. This leads to nothing but trouble, and one of the girls, Fatima, is grounded by her parents for the entire holiday season. Now she can't perform the song, and Aksel realizes he must take action! He enters an unknown world of rituals and cultural perceptions, and fixes everything in his own unique way.
When Muslim kids get circumcised
they're given one of those to wear.
A confirmation robe.
How much is this?
- 400.
You can't afford it, right?
You'll just have to make some dough.
Wallah Be
That damned dog!
Yuck!
lf l catch him
he's had it.
Keep out of sight!
- Cheerful bastard, aren't you!
Sure.
Just keep out of sight.
Where do you think you're going?
- Will you drop me off at dad's?
You're not going to your dad's.
- But ...
We're going on holiday.
- He hit the bottle yesterday.
He doesn't drink
when he's with me.
Hey, are you giving your mum lip?
Ali?
Can l come?
This car's Muslims Only.
Mia isn't a Muslim.
No.
Muslims and Danish Girls Only. OK?
Why isn't he answering, then?
Because he's waiting for me
downstairs.
lt's because he's sleeping off
his drink, Aksel.
Hi, Dad, it's Aksel.
l'm on my way.
l'm coming.
l want to go on holiday ...
Has anyone seen my necklace?
- l want to go on holiday.
Aksel, put a sock in it.
- Come on, he's all cut up.
He's giving me ear ache.
l've lost my necklace.
He thought
he was going on holiday, OK?
My holiday ...
- Hand me the sugar.
Who's going to look after him?
- The club's open in the daytime.
But what about the evenings?
l know who's going to have
to look after him. But l refuse.
l had it on when l went to bed.
And l can't find it.
And it was from Ali.
Have you seen it?
Remind Ali that you have to be 1 8
to drive a car in Denmark.
And watch your damned toast!
Allah, Allah ...
What are you doing?
- What do you think?
Asking Allah to send me on holiday.
OK ... so you're a Muslim?
Last month you were Superman.
The cool dudes are all Muslims.
Well, tell your dad.
Muslims don't drink, right?
Look ... there are loads
of activities at the club.
All the other kids are away.
Fatima will be there.
And she's a Muslim.
A girl Muslim.
That's not cool.
Come and have breakfast.
Quiet! Quiet! The final group will
be Sarah, Trine and Tanya, OK?
Morning, Aksel! Going to be
in the song contest on Saturday?
Or you could be part of
the ceramics display -
- if you sat in the basketball net.
The song contest.
OK ... you'll be in group 4.
With ... Annika and Fatima.
Each group can use
the music room for an hour a day.
We can use the stage
from Wednesday onwards ... Quiet!
Weren't you meant to be going away
with your dad?
His work got in the way.
Can you help back stage?
- What do you think?
Our band's a girls band.
- And now it's a boys band, too.
Lars, l'd much rather be with them.
We don't want babies.
- Aksel, they don't want anything.
The lazy lads will be the jury.
You'll have to dress up
in girl's clothes, then.
The show's on Saturday at 1 .
Bring the family, right?
Testing!
lf l sing
you can be the chorus.
Why?
- Because l'm cool.
Why have you got that?
- Because l'm a Muslim.
Danes can't be Muslims.
- Oh, yes, they can.
No way.
l'm a Danish Muslim
My hair's full of slime
My wheels are divine
My style's just fine
l'm a Danish Muslim.
- A jerk Muslim.
We'll all sing
We'll write a song
And at the contest
We'll win a gong.
lt's got to be about love.
- Have you ever been in love?
l don't remember.
- l was, once.
Where we used to live.
With a boy called Kristoffer.
Kristoffer, Kristoffer,
She can't keep her fingers off yer
You're horrid.
Just leave off.
We'd better sing about death
and destruction. They hate love.
How do you know?
- Um ...
Hey, stop!
Love songs only.
Or you'll come last.
Toto!
- l'm coming. Love songs only.
What did he want?
- Nothing ...
Hey, girls! Wait for me!
l'm coming!
Lovely doggie!
We can sing about love.
lt's cool.
What is it?
You made him run away.
l reckon his master is dead.
He's a stray.
Hi, Dad! We're having
a song contest at the club.
Oh, so my daughter's
going to be famous, eh?
Our song'll be about you.
''Skirt chaser, skirt chaser!''
Do you have pizza every day?
- l certainly don't.
Shwama, then?
- Shawarma, you mean.
Beat it!
Go away! Stay away!
Or else ...
Stupid git! Stupid git ...
l'll write some words.
- No, l will.
Like heck you will!
He's coming!
- Mum, let us in! Hurry!
See you tomorrow.
- Yes. 'Bye, then.
Hi! Did you wipe your shoes?
- They're not dirty.
l've just hoovered!
Lift your feet.
There are at least nine of them.
- Why are you in my room?
Counting.
Come and see!
Nine, ten, eleven.
Eleven in one go.
A record.
lt's Fatima and her aunties
and a few others, that's all.
Are you in the song contest?
- Yes.
Tell me about it.
l've got this new system.
Monday ...
Tuesday ...
... Wednesday.
We can't wait!
- l don't think it's for parents.
Surely ...
- Yes, it says so here.
''lt's great that you all want to
take part in the club song contest!''
''Brothers and sisters,
mums and dads welcome!''
Would you like me
to sew your costumes?
No, Mum!
- Oh, no, just look at them!
You should ask Fatima over.
lsn't she a bit scatty?
- No more than you are.
l expect that
when dad's business picks up -
- we'll move back again.
l'm not moving back again.
- See you tomorrow!
See you tomorrow!
Fatima! Fatima!
lf you're interested
we'll sort something out for you.
Hi, Claus!
Fatima, pop down to the basement
for the laundry, there's a love.
l'll write this first, OK?
l'm not playing any more.
- You're a poor loser.
Are we trying to sell
a whole country or just a car?
Fatima!
- Hey! l'm on the phone!
l promised Mustafa you'd take him.
Pop down to the basement.
Fatima, please!
Then she'll shut up!
Go on! Get the laundry!
- You get it.
l'm writing an essay.
- A love letter, more like.
You kick me again and l'll ...
Buzz off!
Give it back!
So you nicked it!
Get out of my bathroom!
- No! Give it back!
lt's one l found.
- Yes, round my neck.
Give it back!
Don't fight till l've gone.
- He took my necklace.
l've got to do my face.
Out you go!
Give it back!
- Give it back to her.
Stay away from me.
No! Stay away from me!
This is for food.
There. OK?
Aksel's Birthday Party
Susanne's Home Services, hello?
No, l'm afraid not.
Goodbye.
See you in the morning.
- 'Bye, then, Mum.
''Bye, then, Mum!''
Stop it!
- You're over on my side.
Sorry.
Sorry ...
Aksel, um ...
- What do you want now?
lf l let you borrow this,
can l go out tonight?
OK?
And you can have ten kroner.
- Where are you going?
None of your business.
And l can wear it
for the song contest?
No, only tonight.
- Right, l'll tell on you.
And if you follow me
l'll land you one ...
lf you go out,
don't forget your keys.
You've got no wheels, though.
... Let's go.
Get out of my car, pal!
Chill!
- l don't like visitors.
l've got you something.
How sweet!
- lt's a poem.
''Life without love ...''
''Like an angel without wings,
Like a ring without a finger ...
Hey, what's that?
Can l see?
Leave it till later.
- Oh!
Can l come?
- What are you at?
Nice necklace.
- Because l'm a Muslim.
You are? ln that case
you can come for a ride.
l never said he could borrow it.
- You did!
You little liar!
Take it off.
But if you want to come you have
to say this ... ''l'm a donkey''.
l'm a donkey.
- No, ''l'm a donkey'' ...
With a bit of practice
you'll be able to come with us.
l thought we'd agreed?
- Coming, you guys?
So what are you doing here?
Mia! Mia! Mia,
l left my keys behind!
Mia!
l need to phone mum.
l've locked myself out.
OK, dial 0 first.
She didn't answer?
- No. l'll call my dad.
Yeah? Hello?
Didn't he answer either?
- No. He must be out.
Where are you going?
Have a seat.
l didn't think Muslims drank.
l have to drink or l'll die.
Not alcohol, though.
Can l have some?
Of course. You thought
you weren't allowed to?
Not since l became a Muslim.
- You've become a Muslim?
Yes.
Why?
- Because it's cool.
So you'll be driving too fast,
stealing, and joining gangs?
Yes.
l don't believe in God, though.
A Muslim who doesn't
believe in God? That's news.
l believe in Allah.
- He's the same God.
l thought they were different.
You'll need some
phrases in Arabic, too.
''l am a donkey''.
Who taught you that?
- Ali.
My son Ali?
Do you know what it means?
lt means ''l am a donkey''.
What would you like?
- A number 36 with extra chilli.
36 with extra chilli. Right.
Good morning, Aksel.
- Good morning.
Fatima, wake Ali up.
He's not to sleep all day.
l'm coming.
l phoned your mum.
She knows you're here.
Your mum was really angry
with your sister.
Ali, get up!
- Good morning, Fatima.
Hi, Aksel.
You fell asleep?
l think so.
Have you written our song?
Nor have l.
What did he ask you?
- Nothing.
What did she ask you?
- lf you liked coffee.
Do you like it?
- lt's delicious.
She asked ''What song?''
- And you lied to her?
No song.
- Aksel, what is this song?
lt's only the club song contest.
Oh, no.
Nothing.
What are you doing with my mobile?
- Song contest? At a club?
The club song contest.
- Singing? At a club?
Dad said l could.
- What did l say you could?
The club song contest.
- Yes. She's allowed.
What on earth ...
- What's wrong with that?
She wants to sing at a club!
ln some Song Protest or something.
What are they on about?
- Whether l can sing at the club.
l said she wasn't allowed to.
- We'll see about that.
Dad says l can.
- Fatima! Go to your room!
Anything to do with the kids
has to be discussed with me!
She's so mean!
- What did she say?
That she'd give me one more
chance to be in the contest -
- and l should be grateful for being
allowed to go to the club at all.
She can't even ride a bike.
- She can't?
Aren't Muslims allowed to?
- Hi, Aksel.
Hi, Bono.
lt won't bite.
- l'm not allowed to touch dogs.
Me neither.
- Why not?
Because mum's allergic.
- Because l'm a Muslim.
Where are you going?
l'm not touching that dog.
l'm a decent Muslim.
Muslims have
to help anyone in need.
lt's true!
We've only got frozen food.
- My dad's got loads of meat.
Come!
Come!
Hey! Beat it! Beat it!
We can make money from our song
and buy dog food.
By the time we've written it
he'll have starved to death.
l've got some words.
They just need some adjustments.
Life without love ...
Like an angel without wings
Like a ring without a finger
l can't sing that.
Some girl wrote it.
My brother did.
Life without love ...
- ''From Ali to Mia''.
l got it off the computer.
He was writing an essay.
That's not an essay.
- l know it isn't.
lt's a love poem for your sister.
- lt'll make her even worse.
Without you life's no game
Life without love
Where can we sing it?
- This place mum worked at once.
With these old rich people.
They gave her loads of stuff.
Life without love
ls a lonely life
ls a lousy life
Without taste or colour
Life without love ...
- lt's for a starving dog.
Thank you.
l'll take one of these, all right?
Thank you.
2 kroner 25.
- 2 kroner 25?
And a cigar.
That wasn't very much.
There'll be decent food
for you at last!
Hello ... you look very happy!
About your marriage ...
1 35 ...
Who was that?
- The lmam.
What's an lmam?
- He tells Muslims what to do.
You know the mosque?
That's where he's from.
l'm not allowed near dogs.
- He didn't say anything.
lf he wanted
he could snap his fingers -
- and l'd never be
allowed outside again.
How awful!
- He looked all right.
lf he comes back,
l don't know about the dog.
He won't hurt you.
He can see l'm a good Muslim.
Of course he can't!
- He can!
You look like a Dane
who eats liver paste.
And loads of people
have necklaces like that.
And l've never seen a Muslim
in trousers like those.
What's wrong with them?
- They're so naff.
Do you think they're naff, too?
- Only a little bit.
Where are you going?
- To buy some dog food.
And then to the club.
l've had enough of you two.
They are naff.
- Very.
So why did you say
''Only a little bit''?
We can call him Kristoffer.
Kristoffer, Kristoffer,
She can't keep her fingers off yer
What are you at?
Aren't they cool?
They're just like Ali's.
Where is the dog food?
- The dog food?
Why didn't you buy any?
- l saw these cool pants.
They only had one pair my size.
Take them back.
Right now!
l can't.
- Why not?
- Because ...
- Because what?
The dog needs food.
- We gave him some biscuits.
That's not proper dog food.
- You want me to walk round naked?
You can wear your old trousers.
- l binned them. They were naff.
Get those pants off
or sing on your own.
What are you doing?
Hey, stop it!
Stop it!
- Off with the trousers, Aksel!
No!
You've got to.
Get on with it.
Sing!
OK!
All right, all right!
Like an angel without wings
Like a ring without a finger
What's that?
- Listen!
Like crying without tears
That's how l feel, my love
- lt's ...
When you're not with me ...
l want to see you soon
Because l miss you
Miss you so
Life without love
ls a lonely life, a lousy life
Without taste or colour
Life without love
Aksel, get down.
Come here!
- Aksel!
Aksel, stop!
- Come back!
Where did you get that song?
- Your computer.
Did l say you could?
- Sorry!
l bet ... We're going home.
Mum and dad will be thrilled.
What a mess!
There, Kristoffer.
You were so hungry!
We've got more for you.
l'm sure they'll cool down soon.
l washed seven times.
- That's not the point.
You were meant to be at the club,
not at the mall singing with a dog!
The dog didn't sing.
Don't laugh.
... Look at me.
The point is that
we can't trust you any more.
What have you done!
lt's so shameful for us!
The dog needed rescuing.
- You should have phoned the RSPCA.
Perhaps you are just stupid?
- The lmam didn't say anything.
The lmam?
Did you run into him, too?
l didn't see him.
No, l bet you were up
to something else.
You're going nowhere from now on.
No club. You're grounded.
You said l could be
in the song contest.
Sit down!
Not when l can't trust you.
You can't trust Ali, either.
With his filthy love letters!
Go to your room! Go on!
She's awful.
Sit down.
Where are you going?
Finish that essay.
And l'll look at it.
lt was so embarrassing.
So embarrassing.
lt wasn't me.
- Ali wrote those words for me.
And you brayed them
across the mall.
lt sounds pretty amazing.
lt wasn't me.
- Who was it, then?
You know this boy
who looks just like me?
So much that Annika and
Fatima thought it was me?
He's a bit weird.
Give me my necklace.
l need it for the song contest.
- Give it to me.
Seeing it on you drives me nuts.
Why can't you keep
your fingers off my things?
lf you sing it even once more ...
And it's your fault
l can't see Ali again this week!
You may be a teeny bit
to blame for that.
Why do you always gang up on me?
Excuse me.
l've got such an awful itch.
lt's my allergy.
- Oh?
There's nothing in the food.
- lt's as if we had an animal ...
l haven't been near any animals.
- Me neither.
Are you sure?
l haven't!
- All right ...
You can't be allergic
to the goldfish, surely?
Goodness!
l'm really sorry.
- That's OK.
But will you come to
the song contest on Saturday?
Song contest?
Sure. l'd love to.
'Bye, then, dad.
- 'Bye. See you on Saturday.
Come over here.
You can't see her.
- Why not?
She's grunted.
l've been bad.
Mum and dad say l've got to stay
indoors for the rest of the week.
- Fatima!
- But l'll get out.
Come and help me
instead of talking out there.
Go on practicing.
Because l'll be there.
And we'll win ...
... the club song contest!
'Bye, then, Aksel.
- 'Bye, Mustafa.
Great.
Never again will l
Mean nothing
We're better.
- We aren't. Listen!
One day she'll meet ...
lt's OK her not being here.
She isn't much of a singer.
She's better than you.
- No, she's not.
And you should do something
about your singing.
You keep singing flat.
- l what ?
You sing flat.
- Thanks a bunch.
Where are you going?
- lt's no fun without Fatima.
But my dad's coming on Saturday.
- You'll have to sing on your own.
What if l get hold of Fatima?
- She's grounded.
l can just ask the lmam.
- The lmam!
The guy
who tells Muslims what to do.
Do you know where the lmam is?
- What?
Do you know where the lmam is?
The lmam? Upstairs.
Office
Yes?
What do you want?
l'd like to ask you something.
- l'm busy. Come back later.
Muslims have
to help people in need.
She's got to be in the song contest.
''Got to be'' ...
There's so much
we think we've got to do, but ...
Aren't you sorry for the other two?
Doing the song contest on their own?
Without me?
- You're thinking of them?
They might come last.
My darling ...
They'll manage without you,
eh, darling?
l am a Muslim, too.
- So you've said the creed?
What's that?
- lf not, you're not a Muslim.
Hi, Annika!
Like an angel without wings
Like a ring without a finger
Have you seen my charger?
There is no god except Allah
and Mohammad is his messenger.
You what?
There is no god except Allah
and Mohammad is his messenger.
Have you seen it?
- No.
There is no god except Allah ...
... and Mohammad is his messenger.
You have to believe it ...
and learn a lot about lslam.
And you need
your father's permission.
That's no problem.
- You think he'll let you?
He lets me do anything.
When can l see him?
lt's just a house
he's borrowing.
Dad! Dad!
Hi, Aksel.
Who's this?
The lmam.
Oh? OK.
Hello. Rickard.
l wasn't expecting visitors.
Are you from the club?
- No, l'm an imam. A Muslim priest.
From the local mosque.
- Oh?
Right.
Well, come on in.
Thank you.
lt's just a house l'm borrowing ...
l'll take it.
- Thanks.
No, thanks, l don't drink.
- Right. Of course not.
He's allowed soft drinks.
- Want one?
No, thanks.
l think it sounds all right.
You wanting to become a Muslim.
At any rate it's better than
collecting Pokemon cards.
Not that you can compare ...
- Not quite.
But it's good to have
something to hang onto in life.
Quite right.
Calm down, all right?
This will look good on Fatima.
This one?
This is almost identical.
lt'd look good on Fatima -
- and that one would
look good on you.
You always wear pink.
Allah is greatest and
Mohammed is his prophet ...
... Am l a Muslim now?
No ...
Mohammed is God's prophet.
- Hi, Aksel.
Hi, Annika.
- Did you ask the lmam?
Yes.
- What did he say about Fatima?
Fatima?
- Yes, Fatima.
Fatima ...
- Fatima! The song contest!
Oh, right. The song contest.
Fatima.
l've got it all under control.
You deal with the dog,
l'll deal with Fatima, OK?
Oh, right.
- l'm on top of it.
Yes. OK.
... 'Bye, then.
You want to sing to us or something?
- You want to come to prayers?
To prayers?
- Yes. At the mosque.
Now?
- Yes. Now.
You must be crazy.
- What does he want?
He wants me to go to prayers!
- Well, it's been a while.
Yes, Aksel. Take him along.
... Ali's going to the mosque!
We have to wash first.
We wash three times, all right?
- Right up our noses?
Just a splash.
... OK?
And a bit on your hair.
Do your ears at the same time.
All that's left now
is our arms.
Don't we have to wash our tummies?
- No, that's not necessary.
They're hopefully clean.
Like this ...
Yes, to pray you need to be clean.
Leave your shoes here.
Right foot first.
That's it.
Just do what l do.
Your arms!
- My arms.
You'll have to take on a new name.
You know that?
You can't go round being
called Aksel if you're a Muslim.
You need an Arab name.
And you have to pray
at the times on the list.
You can't eat pork.
And you'll have to be circumcised.
lt's all a load of trouble.
Don't worry, it's only a little snip.
Know what l think?
This car is cool.
Ali, you need doing over.
The way you drive!
What you saw
was perfect parking.
Who's that?
- Muslim Aksel.
Taught him some new words?
- Yep. Say them, Aksel.
Allah is the great ...
And Mohammed is his prophet.
- Nice one, Aksel!
lt sounded all wrong.
Only kidding.
lt sounded OK.
Didn't it?
- Yep ...
Muslims can touch dogs.
- Fatima said she couldn't.
That's because our granny said so.
But it's all right.
Some strict Muslims
just say it isn't.
ln our family we can pat them
but they mustn't lick us.
Or come indoors.
OK?
- OK ...
Stay cool.
See you later. Say hi to Mia.
'Bye, then.
See you later. 'Bye.
l've been out in Ali's car.
- Fatima's got to sing with us.
''Got to''? There's so much
we think we've got to do.
But it isn't always
so necessary after all.
Do you see?
No, l don't suppose you do.
ls it delicious?
Was that a meatball you just ate?
Aksel, aren't you a Muslim?
Yes.
ls that a good meatball?
lt's got pork in.
No way.
- lt has. Hasn't it?
Yes.
Why did you put pork
into the meatballs?
l always do.
So l've been eating pork?
Yes.
Stop it, Aksel.
lt's disgusting.
l'm a Muslim.
Pigs are unclean.
Filthy animals.
- Aksel, stop it.
Aksel!
- My name's not Aksel. lt's Achmed.
You'll want us to wear scarves?
- Yes, as a matter of fact.
Filthy animal!
Achmed, have you obeyed
Allah's commands today?
Have you prayed a hundred times
to Mecca?
Are you ready to fight
the Danish infidels?
Shut up!
l'll bash you!
Annika!
Annika!
Aksel! lt's Annika!
We can't leave him outside in this.
He's not coming in here.
- lt'll kill him.
lf the thunder kills him
it'll be the will of Allah.
You are a real jerk of a Muslim.
Fatima? Where are you going?
Where are you going?
- Nowhere.
Nowhere?
There, there, Kristoffer.
Right, Kristoffer, don't be scared.
We'll find you somewhere dry.
Don't be scared.
l'll find somewhere.
No, no, no, Kristoffer!
There, there ...
l can't find my inhaler!
What on earth!
- l'm sorry, l'm sorry.
Damn it!
Annika dragged a dog in.
- A dog?
There are dog hairs everywhere.
Annika, what are you doing?
- What were you thinking of?
Beat it! Get it out of here.
Kristoffer!
- Annika!
Kristoffer!
- Annika!
Do you want a lift?
- No, l'll walk.
See you, Aksel.
Have a nice day.
Achmed!
- See you, Aksel.
Achmed!
- Aksel! Aksel!
Achmed!
- Kristoffer's in the basement.
l'm going to the club.
Just one last time, Aksel ... Achmed.
We're not having a dog in our flat.
This is the last straw.
lt was in the basement.
Did you put him there?
- No ... Yes.
Come on out, you brats.
l know you're there.
l know you are.
Come on out.
Damn it!
A dog's do!
Damned brats!
When l catch you
you're for it.
What's the time?
- 5 past 1 2.
What are you doing?
- What do you think? Washing.
Shh! Not a sound!
ls there something
wrong with the toilet?
No.
Pooh!
Has somebody crapped somewhere?
No. l farted.
What's that?
Shall l help with the supper?
No ...
Aksel!
What's that?
- My tummy, that's all.
Sure.
- You're weird.
Out of the way.
A dog!
- Muslims can have dogs.
Outside, really.
- He's lovely!
Clean up that dog's do.
Get on with it!
Where is it?
- l don't know. Get on with it.
Like an angel without wings
Like a ring without a finger
Like a boat without oars
Like crying without tears
l miss you
You ... you ...
l miss you ... you ...
You!
Life without love
Turn faster.
Life without love ...
ls a lonely life
A lousy life
No, it's no good.
l won't do it without Fatima.
l'm afraid l can't stop your friend
from being grounded just like that.
Why not?
Hello ... Just a moment, please.
lt's up to her dad and mum.
Not me.
Right ... right.
Testing.
Testing.
Right. Whoops!
l think it's working now.
Good afternoon!
Welcome to the club song contest.
We've had a good week.
We've helped one another.
We've made room for one another
to achieve the best results.
Not everyone can win, l'm afraid.
Because over there we've got
all the hard lads of the jury.
They're relentless.
Give them a round of applause.
l don't think she'll make it.
l was looking for my dad.
The first song ...
The Hip Hop Boys with
''Something's Bugging Me Totally''.
There's something ...
Something wrong
With my mum
Something's bugging me totally
Cigarettes
Smoking
Cigarettes
Something's wrong
With my dad
Something's bugging me totally
Alcohol ...
- What's up?
Good Muslims help those in need,
right?
With my PC
Something's bugging me totally
Virus
Virus
Something's wrong in lsrael
Something's bugging me totally
War ...
Mind out! Mind out!
Will you teach me how to pray?
Oh, no!
- l do it all wrong. Just 5 minutes.
OK. Come in.
Hi, Aksel!
- Hi.
Where's Fatima?
ln her room.
She's completely crazy.
Cool room.
- Shall we get a move on?
Can l try by myself?
- You asked me to teach you.
l want to be alone with Allah.
OK. Mecca's that way.
And take your shoes off.
You going to do it or what?
- Yes.
Hi ...
What's going on?
- Mum, what's wrong with Aksel?
Hi, Aksel.
Look at Aksel. He wants to
learn how to pray but he can't.
Right.
There's still ... whoops!
l'll raise the mike ...
- No, she isn't here.
We're going to change the order.
Now for the last song but one,
''The One and Only''.
Ali, weren't you
going to pray with Aksel?
He's weird.
- Can you give Mustafa a hand?
3, 4, 5 ...
ls he doing it right?
- Yes, but he has to find seven.
You have to find seven.
- Have you found them all?
No. 1 , 2 ...
3, 4, 5, 6 ...
You did it!
- 8 ...
Beat it!
lt's Aksel.
- Mum, look, there's one.
l'm trying to help you.
Look, Mum! Fire!
Fire!
- Oh, goodbye, Aksel.
Goodbye.
How come he came
out of the bedroom?
Like l said.
He's weird.
Mum, there it is.
Fire!
Dear Diary, mum and dad
are the horridest in the world.
Fatima!
- Mustafa, go to your room.
One day she'll meet
The one and only
And never feel all alone
Mum?
- Yes?
Dad's come.
Starry nights
We're floating
On each other's hearts
They come last.
Carried away ...
Fatima, wake up!
Get into your own bunk.
Now!
Right.
Right. l don't know
if we have any more ...
l'm afraid
the last contestants aren't here.
So the jury will only have
nine songs to vote on.
Oh! Hi, Fatima!
We welcome Fatima,
Annika, and Aksel!
She's got Aksel's clothes on!
Aksel couldn't make it.
But he's lent me his clothes.
''They can survive on their own
and they avoid human beings.''
Read me some more.
- l've read two books.
There aren't any more.
But Mustafa ...
lf you sit here quietly
while l go out ...
l'll give you 20 kroner
next time l see you.
Like an angel without wings
Life a ring without a finger
Like a boat without oars
Like crying without tears
That's how l feel, my love
When you're not with me
l want to see you soon
Because l miss
l miss you
You smell of shawarma.
- Haven't you made any supper?
Didn't you have some shawarma?
What are you doing down there?
Where is Fatima?
Where is Fatima?
Hi, Dad.
Do you like my haircut?
Where is Fatima?
Without you life's no game
Life without love
ls a lonely life
A lousy life
Without a trace of spice
That song was written by my brother
for Aksel's sister, Mia.
A really good Muslim.
This is really exciting.
lt was almost a dead heat -
- between first and second place.
But second place went to ...
Hello, Aksel!
l'd like to ask Annika, Fatima
and Aksel to come on stage.
You came second.
Let's hear it for them!
Aksel, what's going on?
Hi, Aksel!
- Yes, let's hear it for them!
And first place goes
to the Hip Hop Boys.
Well done!
- Same to you!
We should have won.
- lt was because l wasn't there.
lf Kristoffer had been there
we'd have won.
Do you realize that Kristoffer
is actually a bitch?
A pity Aksel wasn't in it.
Apparently he had something
else he had to do ...
l've got you a consolation prize.
Achmed!
- Thank you!
Just call me Aksel.
Goodbye, Aksel.
See you tomorrow.
Yes, 'bye.
Right on.
Let's have you in it, too.
Ali, are you coming?
- No, l'll walk.
You'll walk?
OK, walk!
Well then, Darling!
Your dad came.
But he left.
Hi! lsn't Aksel great?
Thanks.
That was a lovely poem.
Thanks ... Mum!
Come on.
- lsn't he a cheeky so-and-so?!
Come on, Achmed! Come on!
You can call me Aksel.
lt can't be fun dressing up in girl's
clothes and being called Achmed ...
You will take her for a few walks?
Don't worry.
What shall we call her?
- l don't know.
You don't?
''l Don't Know'' ...
Come on, l Don't Know!
they're given one of those to wear.
A confirmation robe.
How much is this?
- 400.
You can't afford it, right?
You'll just have to make some dough.
Wallah Be
That damned dog!
Yuck!
lf l catch him
he's had it.
Keep out of sight!
- Cheerful bastard, aren't you!
Sure.
Just keep out of sight.
Where do you think you're going?
- Will you drop me off at dad's?
You're not going to your dad's.
- But ...
We're going on holiday.
- He hit the bottle yesterday.
He doesn't drink
when he's with me.
Hey, are you giving your mum lip?
Ali?
Can l come?
This car's Muslims Only.
Mia isn't a Muslim.
No.
Muslims and Danish Girls Only. OK?
Why isn't he answering, then?
Because he's waiting for me
downstairs.
lt's because he's sleeping off
his drink, Aksel.
Hi, Dad, it's Aksel.
l'm on my way.
l'm coming.
l want to go on holiday ...
Has anyone seen my necklace?
- l want to go on holiday.
Aksel, put a sock in it.
- Come on, he's all cut up.
He's giving me ear ache.
l've lost my necklace.
He thought
he was going on holiday, OK?
My holiday ...
- Hand me the sugar.
Who's going to look after him?
- The club's open in the daytime.
But what about the evenings?
l know who's going to have
to look after him. But l refuse.
l had it on when l went to bed.
And l can't find it.
And it was from Ali.
Have you seen it?
Remind Ali that you have to be 1 8
to drive a car in Denmark.
And watch your damned toast!
Allah, Allah ...
What are you doing?
- What do you think?
Asking Allah to send me on holiday.
OK ... so you're a Muslim?
Last month you were Superman.
The cool dudes are all Muslims.
Well, tell your dad.
Muslims don't drink, right?
Look ... there are loads
of activities at the club.
All the other kids are away.
Fatima will be there.
And she's a Muslim.
A girl Muslim.
That's not cool.
Come and have breakfast.
Quiet! Quiet! The final group will
be Sarah, Trine and Tanya, OK?
Morning, Aksel! Going to be
in the song contest on Saturday?
Or you could be part of
the ceramics display -
- if you sat in the basketball net.
The song contest.
OK ... you'll be in group 4.
With ... Annika and Fatima.
Each group can use
the music room for an hour a day.
We can use the stage
from Wednesday onwards ... Quiet!
Weren't you meant to be going away
with your dad?
His work got in the way.
Can you help back stage?
- What do you think?
Our band's a girls band.
- And now it's a boys band, too.
Lars, l'd much rather be with them.
We don't want babies.
- Aksel, they don't want anything.
The lazy lads will be the jury.
You'll have to dress up
in girl's clothes, then.
The show's on Saturday at 1 .
Bring the family, right?
Testing!
lf l sing
you can be the chorus.
Why?
- Because l'm cool.
Why have you got that?
- Because l'm a Muslim.
Danes can't be Muslims.
- Oh, yes, they can.
No way.
l'm a Danish Muslim
My hair's full of slime
My wheels are divine
My style's just fine
l'm a Danish Muslim.
- A jerk Muslim.
We'll all sing
We'll write a song
And at the contest
We'll win a gong.
lt's got to be about love.
- Have you ever been in love?
l don't remember.
- l was, once.
Where we used to live.
With a boy called Kristoffer.
Kristoffer, Kristoffer,
She can't keep her fingers off yer
You're horrid.
Just leave off.
We'd better sing about death
and destruction. They hate love.
How do you know?
- Um ...
Hey, stop!
Love songs only.
Or you'll come last.
Toto!
- l'm coming. Love songs only.
What did he want?
- Nothing ...
Hey, girls! Wait for me!
l'm coming!
Lovely doggie!
We can sing about love.
lt's cool.
What is it?
You made him run away.
l reckon his master is dead.
He's a stray.
Hi, Dad! We're having
a song contest at the club.
Oh, so my daughter's
going to be famous, eh?
Our song'll be about you.
''Skirt chaser, skirt chaser!''
Do you have pizza every day?
- l certainly don't.
Shwama, then?
- Shawarma, you mean.
Beat it!
Go away! Stay away!
Or else ...
Stupid git! Stupid git ...
l'll write some words.
- No, l will.
Like heck you will!
He's coming!
- Mum, let us in! Hurry!
See you tomorrow.
- Yes. 'Bye, then.
Hi! Did you wipe your shoes?
- They're not dirty.
l've just hoovered!
Lift your feet.
There are at least nine of them.
- Why are you in my room?
Counting.
Come and see!
Nine, ten, eleven.
Eleven in one go.
A record.
lt's Fatima and her aunties
and a few others, that's all.
Are you in the song contest?
- Yes.
Tell me about it.
l've got this new system.
Monday ...
Tuesday ...
... Wednesday.
We can't wait!
- l don't think it's for parents.
Surely ...
- Yes, it says so here.
''lt's great that you all want to
take part in the club song contest!''
''Brothers and sisters,
mums and dads welcome!''
Would you like me
to sew your costumes?
No, Mum!
- Oh, no, just look at them!
You should ask Fatima over.
lsn't she a bit scatty?
- No more than you are.
l expect that
when dad's business picks up -
- we'll move back again.
l'm not moving back again.
- See you tomorrow!
See you tomorrow!
Fatima! Fatima!
lf you're interested
we'll sort something out for you.
Hi, Claus!
Fatima, pop down to the basement
for the laundry, there's a love.
l'll write this first, OK?
l'm not playing any more.
- You're a poor loser.
Are we trying to sell
a whole country or just a car?
Fatima!
- Hey! l'm on the phone!
l promised Mustafa you'd take him.
Pop down to the basement.
Fatima, please!
Then she'll shut up!
Go on! Get the laundry!
- You get it.
l'm writing an essay.
- A love letter, more like.
You kick me again and l'll ...
Buzz off!
Give it back!
So you nicked it!
Get out of my bathroom!
- No! Give it back!
lt's one l found.
- Yes, round my neck.
Give it back!
Don't fight till l've gone.
- He took my necklace.
l've got to do my face.
Out you go!
Give it back!
- Give it back to her.
Stay away from me.
No! Stay away from me!
This is for food.
There. OK?
Aksel's Birthday Party
Susanne's Home Services, hello?
No, l'm afraid not.
Goodbye.
See you in the morning.
- 'Bye, then, Mum.
''Bye, then, Mum!''
Stop it!
- You're over on my side.
Sorry.
Sorry ...
Aksel, um ...
- What do you want now?
lf l let you borrow this,
can l go out tonight?
OK?
And you can have ten kroner.
- Where are you going?
None of your business.
And l can wear it
for the song contest?
No, only tonight.
- Right, l'll tell on you.
And if you follow me
l'll land you one ...
lf you go out,
don't forget your keys.
You've got no wheels, though.
... Let's go.
Get out of my car, pal!
Chill!
- l don't like visitors.
l've got you something.
How sweet!
- lt's a poem.
''Life without love ...''
''Like an angel without wings,
Like a ring without a finger ...
Hey, what's that?
Can l see?
Leave it till later.
- Oh!
Can l come?
- What are you at?
Nice necklace.
- Because l'm a Muslim.
You are? ln that case
you can come for a ride.
l never said he could borrow it.
- You did!
You little liar!
Take it off.
But if you want to come you have
to say this ... ''l'm a donkey''.
l'm a donkey.
- No, ''l'm a donkey'' ...
With a bit of practice
you'll be able to come with us.
l thought we'd agreed?
- Coming, you guys?
So what are you doing here?
Mia! Mia! Mia,
l left my keys behind!
Mia!
l need to phone mum.
l've locked myself out.
OK, dial 0 first.
She didn't answer?
- No. l'll call my dad.
Yeah? Hello?
Didn't he answer either?
- No. He must be out.
Where are you going?
Have a seat.
l didn't think Muslims drank.
l have to drink or l'll die.
Not alcohol, though.
Can l have some?
Of course. You thought
you weren't allowed to?
Not since l became a Muslim.
- You've become a Muslim?
Yes.
Why?
- Because it's cool.
So you'll be driving too fast,
stealing, and joining gangs?
Yes.
l don't believe in God, though.
A Muslim who doesn't
believe in God? That's news.
l believe in Allah.
- He's the same God.
l thought they were different.
You'll need some
phrases in Arabic, too.
''l am a donkey''.
Who taught you that?
- Ali.
My son Ali?
Do you know what it means?
lt means ''l am a donkey''.
What would you like?
- A number 36 with extra chilli.
36 with extra chilli. Right.
Good morning, Aksel.
- Good morning.
Fatima, wake Ali up.
He's not to sleep all day.
l'm coming.
l phoned your mum.
She knows you're here.
Your mum was really angry
with your sister.
Ali, get up!
- Good morning, Fatima.
Hi, Aksel.
You fell asleep?
l think so.
Have you written our song?
Nor have l.
What did he ask you?
- Nothing.
What did she ask you?
- lf you liked coffee.
Do you like it?
- lt's delicious.
She asked ''What song?''
- And you lied to her?
No song.
- Aksel, what is this song?
lt's only the club song contest.
Oh, no.
Nothing.
What are you doing with my mobile?
- Song contest? At a club?
The club song contest.
- Singing? At a club?
Dad said l could.
- What did l say you could?
The club song contest.
- Yes. She's allowed.
What on earth ...
- What's wrong with that?
She wants to sing at a club!
ln some Song Protest or something.
What are they on about?
- Whether l can sing at the club.
l said she wasn't allowed to.
- We'll see about that.
Dad says l can.
- Fatima! Go to your room!
Anything to do with the kids
has to be discussed with me!
She's so mean!
- What did she say?
That she'd give me one more
chance to be in the contest -
- and l should be grateful for being
allowed to go to the club at all.
She can't even ride a bike.
- She can't?
Aren't Muslims allowed to?
- Hi, Aksel.
Hi, Bono.
lt won't bite.
- l'm not allowed to touch dogs.
Me neither.
- Why not?
Because mum's allergic.
- Because l'm a Muslim.
Where are you going?
l'm not touching that dog.
l'm a decent Muslim.
Muslims have
to help anyone in need.
lt's true!
We've only got frozen food.
- My dad's got loads of meat.
Come!
Come!
Hey! Beat it! Beat it!
We can make money from our song
and buy dog food.
By the time we've written it
he'll have starved to death.
l've got some words.
They just need some adjustments.
Life without love ...
Like an angel without wings
Like a ring without a finger
l can't sing that.
Some girl wrote it.
My brother did.
Life without love ...
- ''From Ali to Mia''.
l got it off the computer.
He was writing an essay.
That's not an essay.
- l know it isn't.
lt's a love poem for your sister.
- lt'll make her even worse.
Without you life's no game
Life without love
Where can we sing it?
- This place mum worked at once.
With these old rich people.
They gave her loads of stuff.
Life without love
ls a lonely life
ls a lousy life
Without taste or colour
Life without love ...
- lt's for a starving dog.
Thank you.
l'll take one of these, all right?
Thank you.
2 kroner 25.
- 2 kroner 25?
And a cigar.
That wasn't very much.
There'll be decent food
for you at last!
Hello ... you look very happy!
About your marriage ...
1 35 ...
Who was that?
- The lmam.
What's an lmam?
- He tells Muslims what to do.
You know the mosque?
That's where he's from.
l'm not allowed near dogs.
- He didn't say anything.
lf he wanted
he could snap his fingers -
- and l'd never be
allowed outside again.
How awful!
- He looked all right.
lf he comes back,
l don't know about the dog.
He won't hurt you.
He can see l'm a good Muslim.
Of course he can't!
- He can!
You look like a Dane
who eats liver paste.
And loads of people
have necklaces like that.
And l've never seen a Muslim
in trousers like those.
What's wrong with them?
- They're so naff.
Do you think they're naff, too?
- Only a little bit.
Where are you going?
- To buy some dog food.
And then to the club.
l've had enough of you two.
They are naff.
- Very.
So why did you say
''Only a little bit''?
We can call him Kristoffer.
Kristoffer, Kristoffer,
She can't keep her fingers off yer
What are you at?
Aren't they cool?
They're just like Ali's.
Where is the dog food?
- The dog food?
Why didn't you buy any?
- l saw these cool pants.
They only had one pair my size.
Take them back.
Right now!
l can't.
- Why not?
- Because ...
- Because what?
The dog needs food.
- We gave him some biscuits.
That's not proper dog food.
- You want me to walk round naked?
You can wear your old trousers.
- l binned them. They were naff.
Get those pants off
or sing on your own.
What are you doing?
Hey, stop it!
Stop it!
- Off with the trousers, Aksel!
No!
You've got to.
Get on with it.
Sing!
OK!
All right, all right!
Like an angel without wings
Like a ring without a finger
What's that?
- Listen!
Like crying without tears
That's how l feel, my love
- lt's ...
When you're not with me ...
l want to see you soon
Because l miss you
Miss you so
Life without love
ls a lonely life, a lousy life
Without taste or colour
Life without love
Aksel, get down.
Come here!
- Aksel!
Aksel, stop!
- Come back!
Where did you get that song?
- Your computer.
Did l say you could?
- Sorry!
l bet ... We're going home.
Mum and dad will be thrilled.
What a mess!
There, Kristoffer.
You were so hungry!
We've got more for you.
l'm sure they'll cool down soon.
l washed seven times.
- That's not the point.
You were meant to be at the club,
not at the mall singing with a dog!
The dog didn't sing.
Don't laugh.
... Look at me.
The point is that
we can't trust you any more.
What have you done!
lt's so shameful for us!
The dog needed rescuing.
- You should have phoned the RSPCA.
Perhaps you are just stupid?
- The lmam didn't say anything.
The lmam?
Did you run into him, too?
l didn't see him.
No, l bet you were up
to something else.
You're going nowhere from now on.
No club. You're grounded.
You said l could be
in the song contest.
Sit down!
Not when l can't trust you.
You can't trust Ali, either.
With his filthy love letters!
Go to your room! Go on!
She's awful.
Sit down.
Where are you going?
Finish that essay.
And l'll look at it.
lt was so embarrassing.
So embarrassing.
lt wasn't me.
- Ali wrote those words for me.
And you brayed them
across the mall.
lt sounds pretty amazing.
lt wasn't me.
- Who was it, then?
You know this boy
who looks just like me?
So much that Annika and
Fatima thought it was me?
He's a bit weird.
Give me my necklace.
l need it for the song contest.
- Give it to me.
Seeing it on you drives me nuts.
Why can't you keep
your fingers off my things?
lf you sing it even once more ...
And it's your fault
l can't see Ali again this week!
You may be a teeny bit
to blame for that.
Why do you always gang up on me?
Excuse me.
l've got such an awful itch.
lt's my allergy.
- Oh?
There's nothing in the food.
- lt's as if we had an animal ...
l haven't been near any animals.
- Me neither.
Are you sure?
l haven't!
- All right ...
You can't be allergic
to the goldfish, surely?
Goodness!
l'm really sorry.
- That's OK.
But will you come to
the song contest on Saturday?
Song contest?
Sure. l'd love to.
'Bye, then, dad.
- 'Bye. See you on Saturday.
Come over here.
You can't see her.
- Why not?
She's grunted.
l've been bad.
Mum and dad say l've got to stay
indoors for the rest of the week.
- Fatima!
- But l'll get out.
Come and help me
instead of talking out there.
Go on practicing.
Because l'll be there.
And we'll win ...
... the club song contest!
'Bye, then, Aksel.
- 'Bye, Mustafa.
Great.
Never again will l
Mean nothing
We're better.
- We aren't. Listen!
One day she'll meet ...
lt's OK her not being here.
She isn't much of a singer.
She's better than you.
- No, she's not.
And you should do something
about your singing.
You keep singing flat.
- l what ?
You sing flat.
- Thanks a bunch.
Where are you going?
- lt's no fun without Fatima.
But my dad's coming on Saturday.
- You'll have to sing on your own.
What if l get hold of Fatima?
- She's grounded.
l can just ask the lmam.
- The lmam!
The guy
who tells Muslims what to do.
Do you know where the lmam is?
- What?
Do you know where the lmam is?
The lmam? Upstairs.
Office
Yes?
What do you want?
l'd like to ask you something.
- l'm busy. Come back later.
Muslims have
to help people in need.
She's got to be in the song contest.
''Got to be'' ...
There's so much
we think we've got to do, but ...
Aren't you sorry for the other two?
Doing the song contest on their own?
Without me?
- You're thinking of them?
They might come last.
My darling ...
They'll manage without you,
eh, darling?
l am a Muslim, too.
- So you've said the creed?
What's that?
- lf not, you're not a Muslim.
Hi, Annika!
Like an angel without wings
Like a ring without a finger
Have you seen my charger?
There is no god except Allah
and Mohammad is his messenger.
You what?
There is no god except Allah
and Mohammad is his messenger.
Have you seen it?
- No.
There is no god except Allah ...
... and Mohammad is his messenger.
You have to believe it ...
and learn a lot about lslam.
And you need
your father's permission.
That's no problem.
- You think he'll let you?
He lets me do anything.
When can l see him?
lt's just a house
he's borrowing.
Dad! Dad!
Hi, Aksel.
Who's this?
The lmam.
Oh? OK.
Hello. Rickard.
l wasn't expecting visitors.
Are you from the club?
- No, l'm an imam. A Muslim priest.
From the local mosque.
- Oh?
Right.
Well, come on in.
Thank you.
lt's just a house l'm borrowing ...
l'll take it.
- Thanks.
No, thanks, l don't drink.
- Right. Of course not.
He's allowed soft drinks.
- Want one?
No, thanks.
l think it sounds all right.
You wanting to become a Muslim.
At any rate it's better than
collecting Pokemon cards.
Not that you can compare ...
- Not quite.
But it's good to have
something to hang onto in life.
Quite right.
Calm down, all right?
This will look good on Fatima.
This one?
This is almost identical.
lt'd look good on Fatima -
- and that one would
look good on you.
You always wear pink.
Allah is greatest and
Mohammed is his prophet ...
... Am l a Muslim now?
No ...
Mohammed is God's prophet.
- Hi, Aksel.
Hi, Annika.
- Did you ask the lmam?
Yes.
- What did he say about Fatima?
Fatima?
- Yes, Fatima.
Fatima ...
- Fatima! The song contest!
Oh, right. The song contest.
Fatima.
l've got it all under control.
You deal with the dog,
l'll deal with Fatima, OK?
Oh, right.
- l'm on top of it.
Yes. OK.
... 'Bye, then.
You want to sing to us or something?
- You want to come to prayers?
To prayers?
- Yes. At the mosque.
Now?
- Yes. Now.
You must be crazy.
- What does he want?
He wants me to go to prayers!
- Well, it's been a while.
Yes, Aksel. Take him along.
... Ali's going to the mosque!
We have to wash first.
We wash three times, all right?
- Right up our noses?
Just a splash.
... OK?
And a bit on your hair.
Do your ears at the same time.
All that's left now
is our arms.
Don't we have to wash our tummies?
- No, that's not necessary.
They're hopefully clean.
Like this ...
Yes, to pray you need to be clean.
Leave your shoes here.
Right foot first.
That's it.
Just do what l do.
Your arms!
- My arms.
You'll have to take on a new name.
You know that?
You can't go round being
called Aksel if you're a Muslim.
You need an Arab name.
And you have to pray
at the times on the list.
You can't eat pork.
And you'll have to be circumcised.
lt's all a load of trouble.
Don't worry, it's only a little snip.
Know what l think?
This car is cool.
Ali, you need doing over.
The way you drive!
What you saw
was perfect parking.
Who's that?
- Muslim Aksel.
Taught him some new words?
- Yep. Say them, Aksel.
Allah is the great ...
And Mohammed is his prophet.
- Nice one, Aksel!
lt sounded all wrong.
Only kidding.
lt sounded OK.
Didn't it?
- Yep ...
Muslims can touch dogs.
- Fatima said she couldn't.
That's because our granny said so.
But it's all right.
Some strict Muslims
just say it isn't.
ln our family we can pat them
but they mustn't lick us.
Or come indoors.
OK?
- OK ...
Stay cool.
See you later. Say hi to Mia.
'Bye, then.
See you later. 'Bye.
l've been out in Ali's car.
- Fatima's got to sing with us.
''Got to''? There's so much
we think we've got to do.
But it isn't always
so necessary after all.
Do you see?
No, l don't suppose you do.
ls it delicious?
Was that a meatball you just ate?
Aksel, aren't you a Muslim?
Yes.
ls that a good meatball?
lt's got pork in.
No way.
- lt has. Hasn't it?
Yes.
Why did you put pork
into the meatballs?
l always do.
So l've been eating pork?
Yes.
Stop it, Aksel.
lt's disgusting.
l'm a Muslim.
Pigs are unclean.
Filthy animals.
- Aksel, stop it.
Aksel!
- My name's not Aksel. lt's Achmed.
You'll want us to wear scarves?
- Yes, as a matter of fact.
Filthy animal!
Achmed, have you obeyed
Allah's commands today?
Have you prayed a hundred times
to Mecca?
Are you ready to fight
the Danish infidels?
Shut up!
l'll bash you!
Annika!
Annika!
Aksel! lt's Annika!
We can't leave him outside in this.
He's not coming in here.
- lt'll kill him.
lf the thunder kills him
it'll be the will of Allah.
You are a real jerk of a Muslim.
Fatima? Where are you going?
Where are you going?
- Nowhere.
Nowhere?
There, there, Kristoffer.
Right, Kristoffer, don't be scared.
We'll find you somewhere dry.
Don't be scared.
l'll find somewhere.
No, no, no, Kristoffer!
There, there ...
l can't find my inhaler!
What on earth!
- l'm sorry, l'm sorry.
Damn it!
Annika dragged a dog in.
- A dog?
There are dog hairs everywhere.
Annika, what are you doing?
- What were you thinking of?
Beat it! Get it out of here.
Kristoffer!
- Annika!
Kristoffer!
- Annika!
Do you want a lift?
- No, l'll walk.
See you, Aksel.
Have a nice day.
Achmed!
- See you, Aksel.
Achmed!
- Aksel! Aksel!
Achmed!
- Kristoffer's in the basement.
l'm going to the club.
Just one last time, Aksel ... Achmed.
We're not having a dog in our flat.
This is the last straw.
lt was in the basement.
Did you put him there?
- No ... Yes.
Come on out, you brats.
l know you're there.
l know you are.
Come on out.
Damn it!
A dog's do!
Damned brats!
When l catch you
you're for it.
What's the time?
- 5 past 1 2.
What are you doing?
- What do you think? Washing.
Shh! Not a sound!
ls there something
wrong with the toilet?
No.
Pooh!
Has somebody crapped somewhere?
No. l farted.
What's that?
Shall l help with the supper?
No ...
Aksel!
What's that?
- My tummy, that's all.
Sure.
- You're weird.
Out of the way.
A dog!
- Muslims can have dogs.
Outside, really.
- He's lovely!
Clean up that dog's do.
Get on with it!
Where is it?
- l don't know. Get on with it.
Like an angel without wings
Like a ring without a finger
Like a boat without oars
Like crying without tears
l miss you
You ... you ...
l miss you ... you ...
You!
Life without love
Turn faster.
Life without love ...
ls a lonely life
A lousy life
No, it's no good.
l won't do it without Fatima.
l'm afraid l can't stop your friend
from being grounded just like that.
Why not?
Hello ... Just a moment, please.
lt's up to her dad and mum.
Not me.
Right ... right.
Testing.
Testing.
Right. Whoops!
l think it's working now.
Good afternoon!
Welcome to the club song contest.
We've had a good week.
We've helped one another.
We've made room for one another
to achieve the best results.
Not everyone can win, l'm afraid.
Because over there we've got
all the hard lads of the jury.
They're relentless.
Give them a round of applause.
l don't think she'll make it.
l was looking for my dad.
The first song ...
The Hip Hop Boys with
''Something's Bugging Me Totally''.
There's something ...
Something wrong
With my mum
Something's bugging me totally
Cigarettes
Smoking
Cigarettes
Something's wrong
With my dad
Something's bugging me totally
Alcohol ...
- What's up?
Good Muslims help those in need,
right?
With my PC
Something's bugging me totally
Virus
Virus
Something's wrong in lsrael
Something's bugging me totally
War ...
Mind out! Mind out!
Will you teach me how to pray?
Oh, no!
- l do it all wrong. Just 5 minutes.
OK. Come in.
Hi, Aksel!
- Hi.
Where's Fatima?
ln her room.
She's completely crazy.
Cool room.
- Shall we get a move on?
Can l try by myself?
- You asked me to teach you.
l want to be alone with Allah.
OK. Mecca's that way.
And take your shoes off.
You going to do it or what?
- Yes.
Hi ...
What's going on?
- Mum, what's wrong with Aksel?
Hi, Aksel.
Look at Aksel. He wants to
learn how to pray but he can't.
Right.
There's still ... whoops!
l'll raise the mike ...
- No, she isn't here.
We're going to change the order.
Now for the last song but one,
''The One and Only''.
Ali, weren't you
going to pray with Aksel?
He's weird.
- Can you give Mustafa a hand?
3, 4, 5 ...
ls he doing it right?
- Yes, but he has to find seven.
You have to find seven.
- Have you found them all?
No. 1 , 2 ...
3, 4, 5, 6 ...
You did it!
- 8 ...
Beat it!
lt's Aksel.
- Mum, look, there's one.
l'm trying to help you.
Look, Mum! Fire!
Fire!
- Oh, goodbye, Aksel.
Goodbye.
How come he came
out of the bedroom?
Like l said.
He's weird.
Mum, there it is.
Fire!
Dear Diary, mum and dad
are the horridest in the world.
Fatima!
- Mustafa, go to your room.
One day she'll meet
The one and only
And never feel all alone
Mum?
- Yes?
Dad's come.
Starry nights
We're floating
On each other's hearts
They come last.
Carried away ...
Fatima, wake up!
Get into your own bunk.
Now!
Right.
Right. l don't know
if we have any more ...
l'm afraid
the last contestants aren't here.
So the jury will only have
nine songs to vote on.
Oh! Hi, Fatima!
We welcome Fatima,
Annika, and Aksel!
She's got Aksel's clothes on!
Aksel couldn't make it.
But he's lent me his clothes.
''They can survive on their own
and they avoid human beings.''
Read me some more.
- l've read two books.
There aren't any more.
But Mustafa ...
lf you sit here quietly
while l go out ...
l'll give you 20 kroner
next time l see you.
Like an angel without wings
Life a ring without a finger
Like a boat without oars
Like crying without tears
That's how l feel, my love
When you're not with me
l want to see you soon
Because l miss
l miss you
You smell of shawarma.
- Haven't you made any supper?
Didn't you have some shawarma?
What are you doing down there?
Where is Fatima?
Where is Fatima?
Hi, Dad.
Do you like my haircut?
Where is Fatima?
Without you life's no game
Life without love
ls a lonely life
A lousy life
Without a trace of spice
That song was written by my brother
for Aksel's sister, Mia.
A really good Muslim.
This is really exciting.
lt was almost a dead heat -
- between first and second place.
But second place went to ...
Hello, Aksel!
l'd like to ask Annika, Fatima
and Aksel to come on stage.
You came second.
Let's hear it for them!
Aksel, what's going on?
Hi, Aksel!
- Yes, let's hear it for them!
And first place goes
to the Hip Hop Boys.
Well done!
- Same to you!
We should have won.
- lt was because l wasn't there.
lf Kristoffer had been there
we'd have won.
Do you realize that Kristoffer
is actually a bitch?
A pity Aksel wasn't in it.
Apparently he had something
else he had to do ...
l've got you a consolation prize.
Achmed!
- Thank you!
Just call me Aksel.
Goodbye, Aksel.
See you tomorrow.
Yes, 'bye.
Right on.
Let's have you in it, too.
Ali, are you coming?
- No, l'll walk.
You'll walk?
OK, walk!
Well then, Darling!
Your dad came.
But he left.
Hi! lsn't Aksel great?
Thanks.
That was a lovely poem.
Thanks ... Mum!
Come on.
- lsn't he a cheeky so-and-so?!
Come on, Achmed! Come on!
You can call me Aksel.
lt can't be fun dressing up in girl's
clothes and being called Achmed ...
You will take her for a few walks?
Don't worry.
What shall we call her?
- l don't know.
You don't?
''l Don't Know'' ...
Come on, l Don't Know!