Waiting for Butterflies (2015) - full transcript

[Soft music]

- [John] My grandmother was
always clear about one thing,

at the end of our days

the truly meaningful
parts of our lives

have absolutely nothing
to do with luck.

Life is about being aware of
the promises made to US by god.

Understanding that
god never promised

a life without
pain and heartache.

He never promised that the
storms wouldn't be many

and that those many storms

wouldn't be the
harshest of harsh.



The promises we do have
is the strength to fight

through the pain
and the heartache.

And an internal force to
withstand even the worst storms.

Once we have this clarity

we know that the weather
of our situations

is not determined
by simple luck.

That the weather itself
is not even a value.

[Crickets chirping]

It's our reaction
to life's weather

as we face it with
the strong arm of god

that will ultimately
determine our destiny.

[Birds chirping]

♪ Chase you up the mountain side

♪ brought me down



- [Rachel] Ash?

Ashley.

♪ Chase you through

- please don't
miss the bus again.

- [Ashley] I'm not
gonna miss the bus.

- [Rachel] How many
times have I told you

to keep this pigsty picked up.

- [Ashley] You know, most of
my friends have a housekeeper.

- We do too, me.

- You don't count.

Real housekeepers
don't complain.

Rude.

- [Rachel] Keep your
things picked up.

But I still love you.

- [Ashley] Love you.

- [Rachel] Don't miss the bus.

[Rattling pipes]
[Grunting]

- That thing has broke
every day this week.

- [Noah] And I fixed
it every day this week.

- What?

- You said it broke
every day this week

and I fixed it
every day this week.

So it could be worse for ya.

- Yeah, if it's at all possible
to make things worse for me

I'm sure we'll figure it
out and make it happen!

- [Noah] Good morning.

Hey!

- [Laney] Where's mama going?

- Away from me baby
girl, away from me.

[Solemn music]

Have a good day.

- It's okay mama.

[Sniffling]

- Knock knock.

- Hey.

- [Vicky] You busy?

Of course you are.

- Come on in, what's up?

- I have a few folks
you may want to see.

- What happened?

- Nothing really.

- [Rachel] Nothing?

- It seems Bobby denton had a
few not so nice things to say

about Lila and Nate thought
he would ask him about it.

- Bobby denton is
a big fat jerk.

- [Rachel] Lila!

- Sorry.

- No matter what Bobby denton
says I think Nathaniel knows

that he's not supposed
to be fighting.

- He asked him to say sorry.

But he didn't.

- Vicky, would you please
take Lila back to class?

- [Vicky] Sure thing.

- Can I say one more thing?

- Make it quick.

- Bobby denton
has two ice packs.

[Laughing]

- Let me get her back to class.

- Have a seat.

Are you okay?

- I'm fine it doesn't even hurt.

- Look, I know you were just--

- I know, I know I
shouldn't have hit him.

- As much as it seems like
fighting can fix the situation

I can promise you it doesn't.

- There's never
times where it's okay

to fight for something?

- What did he say
to your sister?

- He called her ugly, stupid
and she looked like a fish.

- [Rachel] What did Lila do?

- Well, she told him
he smelt like a fish.

He needed to be
punched in the face.

- You're a good big brother

to take up for
your little sister

but promise me next time
you'll do everything you can

not to hit someone.

There are other ways to fight.

- Okay.

- [Rachel] Promise me.

- I promise.

- All right, get back to class.

♪ La la la la

♪ la la la la

♪ la la la la

♪ la la la la

♪ la la la la

♪ la la la la

♪ there ain't no
life like candy land

♪ there was no
fakes be your hands

♪ life is just a candy cane

♪ caught up dancing
in the rain, rain

♪ rain

♪ there ain't no
life like candy land

♪ there was no
fakes in your hands

♪ life is just a candy cane

♪ caught up dancing
in the rain, rain

♪ rain

♪ So come over right now

♪ so we can settle
all the differences

♪ come see somehow

♪ you were just the one for me

♪ and go see your eyes

♪ when they're not
so glued to mine

- [John] I know that's
not army man Antwan greer.

- Oh-wah.

- [John] What's up brother?

How you doing?

- Good man, being all I can be.

- [John] I can see that,
it's good to see you man.

- It's good being seen.

- So when'd you get home?

I didn't think you were due
back until after Christmas.

- Coming in on a
bus this morning.

Had the opportunity to come
home early so I took it.

- I'm glad you did.
- Yeah me too.

- [John] I bet your mom
and sister were freaked out

when you walked in
through the door?

- Yeah, I think my
mom's still crying.

- Yeah, I bet.

- [Antwan] Had to ask the
whole town how to find you.

- Here I am.
- Yeah.

- A few birdies told
me you've been spending

your evenings out here working.

Didn't believe them.

I had to see it for myself.

John Archer working.

- Yeah I stay busy.

I mean we can't all be soldiers.

- Yeah, some of US are too busy

making priceless works of art.

- Yeah I wish.
- Come on.

We both know you're a genius.

Stop being modest.

- You know I do have an
art show opening next week.

Yeah it's my first
one, I'm excited.

- You should be.
- Yeah it'll be good.

- It looks like she
ain't even been used

since I've been gone.

- Yeah.

Well she's about the
only thing of value

I have in this world

so gotta keep her
that way you know.

- You know the whole time
on the bus this morning,

I just kept thinking about

what I was gonna do back
on my first night in aiken.

First night a free man.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

- [John] So what
are we gonna do?

- I don't know about you,

but I'm gonna get
me some dinner,

get a little bit of shut eye.

I'm tired, bro.

- We ain't kids anymore, twan.

Heck I get tired
just shoveling dirt.

Can't imagine what a day
of war would do to me.

- Yeah well you
speak for yourself.

I'm still a kid.

Tomorrow I act like one.

Go celebrate me back
in town in style.

- Okay.

- So you with me?

- Do I really have
to answer that?

- Okay then.
- Okay.

- So tomorrow.
- Tomorrow.

- [James] Is the little lady
still coming over this evening?

- [Carolyn] As far as I know.

I thought maybe we could
take her over to the pond

and let her feed
the ducks tomorrow.

- [James] Oh she'd like that.

- [Carolyn] If there were
any ducks there to feed.

Seems like they're less
and less every time

we come over here.

- [James] Anytime it seems
there's less of a good thing,

we're probably just not
looking hard enough.

[Gasping]

What's wrong?

- [Carolyn] Nothing.

- [James] Should we
go back to the car?

- [Carolyn] No, let's just
sit down for a minute.

- How bad is it?

- It's already better.

It leaves as
quickly as it comes.

[Sighing]

I guess when it comes to
aging, I'm not like fine wine.

- Is there anything I can do?

- No, no, I'm fine, really.

- Well if you're
fine, then I'm fine.

- [Rachel] Are you brushing
your teeth, young lady?

- Yes.
- You better be.

Five more minutes.

- At least your fictional
time is less than

the last one you gave them.

- Funny.

- Hey do you remember
Sharon dirks?

- Should I?

- I think you met
her at the food

shelter function last summer.

She's a redhead.

- [Rachel] I think
so, what about her?

- It's her and her
husband I keep having

to show the place on diller to.

- What?

No, I know that look.

That's the I have
something to tell you look.

Spill it.

- I was just gonna tell you
how amazing you look tonight.

- I don't buy that
but I'll take it.

- I didn't hear you knock.

- Under the mat.

- Lila, your uncle John's here.

Why aren't you at mom's?

- [John] She ran out of chips.

- Uncle John!
- Hey, there she is.

I swear you get bigger
every time I see you.

- [Lila] That's how
it works, right?

- I guess so.

So em...

What are you all
dolled up for anyway?

- She has a daddy date.

- [Rachel] Something like that.

- Well whatever the
reason, you clean up well.

- Is that a compliment?
- Back handed.

But a compliment nonetheless.

- [Rachel] That's
what I was thinking.

- Are you ready?

We still have to drop Lila off.

- Can uncle John take me?

- Can uncle John take you where?

- [Lila] I'm staying
with grandma.

- I'm sure uncle
John's too busy.

- You know I do have
more chips to eat.

But I guess I could
give her a lift.

- I don't think--
- John that'd be great.

We're running late already.

- [John] Yeah it's no problem.

- Have you had a
single drop to drink?

- I'm not answering that.

- Straight from here to there?

- That either.
- John.

- Okay, no alcohol, no stops.

Got it.

- Love you.
- John thanks.

- Yeah, no problem.

- Please be careful.

- Rachel, let's go.

- Have fun you two.

So where are your
brother and sister?

- Nate's at Harrison's
and ash is anywhere

away from this house.

- She seems to spend a
lot of time there huh?

- [Lila] Yep.

- I've got an idea.
- Okay.

- What do you say
we stop for a cone

on the way to grandma's.

- I say yes.
- Done.

[Phone ringing]
I gotta take this.

Tell you what, grab that,
order whatever you want

and tell them to make two.

- Okay.
- Okay?

[Phone ringing]

- Ron, what's up, man?

Yeah what are you thinking?

[Gun firing]
[Tense music]

[Solemn music]

- You know I can't
remember the last time

we took a walk for
the soul enjoyment

of each other's company.

- We can maybe
start doing it again

if I can get you to get
home before nine o'clock

in the evening.

[Laughing]

- Fair enough.

Of course you know after
we start with the walks,

then after that you're
going to have to start

taking me dancing
every once in a while.

- Dancing?
- Yes dancing.

You know I love to go dancing.

What are you doing?

- Dancing.
- Here?

- Right here.

- There's no music.

- Who cares?

- You're right.

Let's dance.

[Gentle music]

Thank you.

- For what?

- For nothing.

For everything.

[Phone ringing]

- I thought we'd at
least get through dinner.

Answer it.

- Not tonight.

- Rachel, it's fine.

- Let me see who it is.

Hello?

[Sirens wailing]
[Chattering]

- [Man] Yeah, they're
trying to get her stable now

and that's what we're doing.

Trying to get her stable
before they move her on out.

Okay 'cause I have
another test to do.

- I was getting ready to
close and then all of a sudden

the door burst wide open
and this guy walks in,

and he comes at me with
a gun and he demands

all the money and
then there's a kid.

- [Officer] Take your
time, it's alright.

- [Shop keeper] There's a shot.

[Chattering]
[Solemn music]

- [Rachel] Where is she?

Where is she?

Where is she?

Tell me she's okay.

- Lila?
- Okay.

- [Man] They're working
on her right way.

- That's not my baby!

Oh no!

That's not her.

[Chattering]

Oh god, what did you do?

What did you do to my baby?

[Shouting]

[Siren wailing]

- [Vicky] Rach.

- [Rachel] What am I gonna do?

- What are they saying?

- They told US nothing.

- [Vicky] It's gonna be alright.

[Solemn music]

- [John] Nathaniel
and ash, do they know?

- Do you wanna tell them?

- Where is she?

- Inside.

I wouldn't do that
if I were you.

- [John] I'm sorry.

- I know you're sorry, John boy.

You've always been sorry

and you've always been
a sorry selfish person.

You spent your whole life

worrying about John,

worrying about all
the little things

you thought would
make you happy.

And everybody always just
looked the other way.

Let you do what
you wanted to do.

There were never any
repercussions until now.

Your selfishness has
ripped my world to shreds.

- I am sorry.

- Stop saying that.

The only thing you should
be doing is getting

on your knees and begging
god to bring my baby back.

- God, you honestly
want me to pray to god?

- That's exactly what
I want you to do.

- Forget it, okay, if god
cared at all about me,

if he cared about any of US,

none of this would
have happened.

- [Rachel] Don't
you dare say that.

God didn't have anything
to do with this.

This wasn't his fault.

It's your fault.

No one else's.

He didn't do this.

You did!

- Keep lying to yourself.

- Let me make one
thing perfectly clear.

I never want to see you again.

Do you understand?

This will not be forgiven.

I don't ever wanna
see you again.

- You don't mean that.

- [Rachel] Oh I do.

I couldn't mean it more.

- I know she's not my daughter

but I cannot imagine loving
anyone more than I loved her.

You have to know that.

- The only thing that I
know is that I hate you.

- Not anymore than
I hate myself.

- You sent her in
there by herself.

Why?

- I had a phone call.

- My baby is dead because
you had a phone call.

Please.

Never ever forget that.

Get out.

Get out!

[Mellow music]

- [Man] Would you
get the next round?

- Hey, could I get another?

- You don't think you've
had another, friend?

- Pour the drink.

- You got it.

- Alright, this one's
going in the corner.

- Yeah right.

Sean's tab, could I
do a Jack and coke?

- Sure.
- Thanks.

Thank you.

- Where do you think
you're going so fast?

- [Woman] Excuse me?

- You wanna come home
with me tonight or what?

- [Woman] Get off of me.

- What do you
think you're doing?

Did you wanna die tonight?

- [Man] You need to
get out of here, kid.

- And you need to listen to him.

- Hey I'll go, I'll go,

but I believe I
ordered one last drink.

- You know what, I'll
get his last drink.

- Thank you, nice guy.

You think that hurts me?

- No, but it's
pretty funny though.

- Oh yeah, that's real funny.

- [Man] Hey just leave,
kid, before you do get hurt.

- Leave?

I haven't even paid my tab yet.

- Consider it on the house.

- What, do I look like
I need a hand out?

- Come on, man.

- Hey, how about we, move.

How about we barter?

Okay you give me liquor and...

I'll help you
clean the place up.

- Hello.
- Good morning, doc.

- [Doctor] Carolyn,
how are you doing?

- [Carolyn] Well I've
been better of course.

- As much as I don't
want to say this,

I don't want to
drag it out either.

With everything inside of
me I wanted to come in here

and give you better news today.

- Has it gotten worse
or just not any better?

- The chemo had no effect.

Not only that, it's
spreading much faster

than we expected.

- What exactly does that mean?

- It means we do
not have much hope

for a positive
turn at this point.

- How long do I have?

Please just tell US how long.

- A few days, the
very most a few weeks.

- Um, can you go ask somebody
for a glass of water?

- Certainly.

- Even with this,
we can continue to
administer the chemo.

- Well you just said it's
not gonna turn around.

- Doctors are
wrong all the time.

But I will say,

we're hoping for a miracle here.

- No.

No more chemo.

What's gonna happen
is gonna happen

and I don't wanna be any
sicker than I have to be.

Besides god creates miracles,

chemotherapy certainly does not.

Thank you.

- Okay.

I'll give you two a few moments.

- Tell me what I can do?

If I could make it
go away I would.

- I need them here.

Please James get my family here.

I don't care what you
have to tell them.

I need them here with US.

- I promise you,
they will be here.

[Phone ringing]

- Hello?

Hey papa.

I'm good, how are you?

It's papa.

- [Rachel] I'm not here.

- Actually she just walked in.

Here she is.

I love you, bye.

- Thanks.

- Hi daddy.

Daddy I would but
I'm super busy today.

What?

What's wrong?

[Tapping on door]

- Who is it?

What time is it?

[Knocking]
- Open the door.

- [John] Go ahead.

- Well you don't look good.

So you got a lot of
painting done last night?

- Why are you here?

- Why am I here?

I've been asking that myself
more and more everyday.

John what's your problem?

- Being woken up this
early is one of them.

- What did you do last night?

[Phone ringing]

John.

John your phone.

Hello?

Hi, sir, how are you?

Yeah, one second.

Hey, it's for you.

- [John] Tell them
I'll call them back.

- It's your grandfather.

- [John] Tell my grandfather
I'll call him back.

- You tell him.

- Hey grandpa.

[Solemn music]

What?

Okay, how is she?

Yeah.

Of course, course, I can come.

Alright.

Okay I love you.

- [Price] Hey, is
everything okay?

- I don't know.

- What's wrong?

- My grandma, she's sick.

- [Price] What kind of sick?

- Like cancer sick.

- I'm sorry.

- It's fine.

- What are you gonna do?

- I don't know.

Toss some stuff in a bag.

Go to aiken.

- How are you gonna get there?

- I'll figure it out.

- Do you want me
to come with you?

- No.

- Why not?

- 'Cause it doesn't make
sense for both of US to go.

She's my grandma.

- Okay.

- You should, you
should take off.

I'm gonna hit the road.

- Alright.

I love you.

- Yeah.

[Somber music]

- Have you heard anything
about your appeal?

- Not yet.

I'm supposed to see
the lawyer today

but I don't expect much
in the way of good news.

How are you, young lady?

- Okay.

- Tell your father what you
made on your report card.

- I know how smart you are
so I can probably guess.

- Tell him, Laney.

- All as, one b.

- Wow.

- It would've been all
as but Mr. Pascer lost

one of my papers.

- That's still really good.

- She works really hard.

We should probably get going.

- Okay when can I expect
to see you two again?

- We'll be back, okay?

Tell your father
good bye, Laney.

- Laney, will you touch my hand?

Daddy loves you,
never forget that.

- Let's go, baby.
- Love you.

[Solemn music]

- Now don't waste those
tears on me, I'm okay.

- I don't understand,
you're fine.

We were over here just last week

and you seemed fine.

- I don't spend my time
asking those questions.

And my advice to you is
you don't ask them either.

The more questions you
ask the better chance

you have of getting
answers you don't like.

- What can I do?

What do you need?

- Same thing we
all need, prayers.

- Oh mom.

I can't sit here

and see you like this
and close my eyes

and ask for a miracle.

I'm not gonna sit
here waiting for that.

- Honey you're forgetting
something you once knew.

We don't wait for
miracles to happen

the miracle's waiting for US.

- How can you be so strong?

I can't be that strong after
every thing that's happened.

Especially not after this.

- Being strong takes the
same effort as being weak.

It's just the road
you decide to take.

- You say these things,

and I really wanna
believe them I really do.

But at the end of the day,

mama, you're still gonna
be laying here dying.

- Well that's the road
you're choosing to take.

Luckily it's not a dead end.

I'll handle your
prayers for you.

Baby I know you're hurtin'.

After all you've been through.

Nobody would blame you
if you never recovered.

- What am I supposed to do?

- Build around pain.

Build happiness around
all of your heartaches.

When you do that,
you'll see the dawn.

- [Rachel] Oh mom [weeps].

- It's okay.

[Easygoing music]

♪ I'm a long, long way from home

♪ in a golden
grassy old tran zone

♪ where the sky sings
of purple and blue

♪ does this road
bring me to straight

♪ to you

♪ And she's gotta get going

♪ she don't know
where she's going to

♪ and he's gotta get flying

♪ but he don't know
where he's flying to

♪ you can't stop the
clock to look at what time

♪ I've got yours
and you've got mine

♪ no you can't stop the clock

- [sissy] John Archer?

Don't even act like you
don't know who I am.

- Sissy?

Get over here.

Wow.

You grew up.

- Not a little girl anymore.

- I guess not,
how's your brother?

- [Sissy] Boy you really
did get out of here, huh?

- [John] I don't understand.

- John, Antwan died last fall.

He was killed in Iraq.

I can't believe you didn't know.

- No.

No that can't be true.

Someone would've told me that.

- He's dead.

I guess when you left
aiken, aiken left you, huh?

- Sissy, I'm sorry,
I didn't know.

- [Sissy] Don't apologize,
he's an angel now.

He's doing fine.

- Yeah.

Yeah well if angels exist.

I've no doubt Antwan
has his wings.

Look I should really get going.

Tell your mother I said hello.

- [Sissy] I will.

- It's good to see you.

- [Sissy] It's good
to see you too John.

- This isn't about US, okay?

Can we do this?

- We can do it if
we don't speak.

That's something we
should be used to.

- Are you gonna at
least let me know

what I'm about to walk into?

- What's in there is
what brought you here.

Answer your own question.

- [John] I'm back.

Good to see you grandpa.

How are you doing?

- Okay, okay.
- Yeah, how is she?

- Depends upon who you ask.

- I'm asking you.

- It's in god's hands.

- [John] Is that your
way of not answering me?

- Is that your way
of not hearing me?

- Can I ask you something?
- What's that?

- How come nobody
told me about Antwan?

- What difference
would it have made?

- He was my best friend.

- Would you have
come to his services?

Your grandmother
wanted to tell you.

I told her not to.

Figure you had enough
on your plate as it is.

- Well it still would've
been nice to know.

Could've saved me some
embarrassment today.

- Sorry.

We should've told you.

- So what's the plan?

- The plan John boy is
for US to keep doing

what we've been doing
for what two years now?

Being here for mama.

- I can't change the fact
that I haven't been here.

Alright but let's
figure something out

because I'm here now.

- John?
- Yeah?

- [Carolyn] Is that you?

- Yeah, grandma, it's me.

- God knows I've watched
that woman upstairs

cry herself to sleep, praying
for you two to fix this.

I've watched it too many times.

I'm not gonna do it now.

- I don't know what
you want from me daddy.

- It's not a matter of knowing,
it's a matter of doing.

- So now it's my fault.

- Fault and taking
responsibility don't always go

hand in hand.

You can have one
without the other.

- Tell me what I can do.

- Well, I've been
waiting a long time

to hear you ask
me that [laughs].

- What's this?

- What it is isn't important

but what it will be,
will truly amaze you.

- Okay.

Okay are you...

At least gonna tell me
what I need to do with it?

- When it feels right, open it.

Page one will start
you on a journey.

- I'm not so sure I'm ready
for a journey right now.

- Do it for me.

Promise, promise
you'll do it for me.

- Okay, promise.

- You have something so
special inside of you John.

But it's up to
you to let it out.

When you do, oh my.

God's artwork will
be on full display.

- Why do I feel like
you're telling me good bye?

- No good byes.

Just an introduction
to the potential

that I know god has given you.

- I've missed you.

- Daddy I can't just sit around
here and see her like this.

I can't sit around here and
pretend like everything's okay.

What?

- What do you want me to say?

Clearly everything I've said
so far hasn't helped, so...

I'm here to do
whatever I need to do.

- Get some rest, you're tried.

We're all tired.

Rest could go a long way.

- No, I'm fine.

If you don't need
me here for awhile,

I'm gonna take a
walk, clear my head.

♪ 'Cause you know
my heart's desire

♪ so help me be a man

♪ what is your plan for me

♪ to open my eyes and see

♪ you are worthy

♪ you are worthy

♪ you are worthy of all praise

♪ 'cause you fill the
void over the ocean

[chattering]

- Hey, hey!

Is that aiken's own Picasso?

Oh man.

Man, it's like seeing a ghost.

Heck the whole town thought
you'd done curled up and died.

- Nope, I'm alive.

- Man now folks if you
y'all don't know here,

well John boy is one of
aiken's few claims to fame.

[Whispering]

Now hang on, hang on this
will just take a second.

What was I saying?

Oh yeah aiken's fame to claim.

Listen if you guys need
a picture or a painting

or anything, he's your man.

On the other hand, if you
wanna keep your kid alive.

John Archer may not
be the way to go.

- Just stop it.
[Chattering]

- It's fine, I know the sound
of alcohol when I hear it.

- I'm sorry, everyone
calm down, calm down,

we're just playing, having
fun, right John boy?

- Yeah, whatever
you wanna call it.

- Hey wait, wait, wait.

Before you go, let's just say

I wanted to have someone offed.

Do I have to call you or set
up some kind of appointment?

How's that work?

What?

What, you all booked up?

- [Man] Hey, hey, hey.

- Do not pretend like
you know me, okay?

- [Jake] Get off me, John.

- Laugh all you want, Jake.

I don't feel a thing.

I don't doubt you're up there.

I doubt your motives.

I need to know why you
are doing this to me.

I was always told that you
wouldn't give US anything

more than we can handle
and yet here I am.

I'm clearly broken
and yet you insist

on giving me more pain
so either break me,

I don't care, break
me or let me be

because I hate where I am.

I'm sick of this.

- [Carolyn] And through him
to reconcile upon himself

all things whether on
earth or in heaven,

making peace by the
blood of his cross,

you who once were alienated
and hostile in mind

doing evil deeds,
he is now reconciled

in his body of
flesh by his death.

In order to present
you holy and blameless

in the above
reproach before him.

It's not the paths in life
that make US who we are,

it's the obstacles we forged
through along those paths.

Although this
journey is specific,

it's a journey that
can be taken by anyone.

Obstacle one.

[Gentle music]

[Ominous music]

[Door buzzing]

- [Noah] If I'm honest, i'm
shocked to see you, John.

- They didn't tell
you who was here?

- Common courtesy is
sparse inside these walls.

I'm not sure i'd
believe them anyhow

seeing our history and all.

- Look I'm just gonna
cut to the chase,

my grandmother's dying.

Doctor said it's day to day.

Now can you tell me,

whether that be of any
importance to you.

- But that can't be true.

I saw her no more
than a few days ago.

She acted like she was fine.

- That might be the
case but apparently

she hasn't been
fine in awhile now.

She was diagnosed with
stage three stomach cancer

over a year ago.

What, you find that funny?

- No, no, it's not
funny, not in the least.

It just figures.

Mrs. Archer thought so
much of other people,

she wouldn't even
let on she had cancer

for fear of putting
the slightest bit

of attention on herself.

Was there something I
can help you with, John?

- I'm not here for myself.

I am certainly not here for you.

She asked me to come see you.

I felt like I owed
it to her to do so.

Here I am.

Now I would like to
know what you have to do

with my grandmother.

- I'd apologize again if I
thought it meant anything.

- It wouldn't,
answer the question.

- May I be allowed to
explain the unexplainable.

- She has me here
for some reason.

Explain it so it
makes sense to me,

and try doing it
without being so casual.

- Well let me start by
saying my casual spirit

as you call it is not
meant to be disrespectful,

not in the slightest.

Brother, spirit's all
we have in this place.

- Oh forgive me if I don't
have sympathy for you.

- I don't expect it.

I expect sympathy from no one.

I know what I've done.

I know what I'm guilty of.

But I ask you to
understand that I am not

the same man you were
staring at two years ago.

- Correct me if I'm wrong,

isn't that what everybody
says in this place?

- [Noah] Of course
they do and most

of them sincerely mean it.

- Just tell me what you have
to do with my grandmother.

[Sighing]

- My guess.

She changed my life.

Maybe she wants me
to change yours too.

- What could you
possibly do for me?

You're the one stuck
inside these walls.

- Please don't assume
these walls take my freedom

and don't assume being
outside of them keeps yours.

Besides who better to learn from

than the man who's
been to hell and back.

- [John] Tell me what
I'm here to know.

[Buzzing]

- Time's up, John.

You know where to find me.

[Solemn music]

- [Carolyn] And are justified
by his grace as a gift

through the redemption
that is in Christ Jesus

whom god put forward as a
propitiation by his blood

to be received by faith.

This was to show
god's righteousness

because in his
divine forbearance

he had passed over former sins.

It was to show his righteousness
at the present times

so that he might be
just and the justifier

of the one who
has faith in Jesus

obstacle two.

[Crickets chirping]

- [Man] How was the pool?

- It was fun.

- [Rachel] Daddy, you gotta eat.

- Not that hungry
for some reason.

- What have you eaten today?

- I reckon I haven't.

- Nothing all day?

Well you gotta eat something.

- [Carolyn] James.

- You're eating something
when you get back.

- [Robert] You need to sit
down and eat something.

- Hey.

Sorry I didn't
mean to interrupt.

- Don't be silly,
grab something to eat.

- Are you sure?
- Of course I'm sure.

- Alright.

What's up.

Hey, stranger.

- Hey uncle John.
- How are ya.

Robert.
- Welcome home.

- Thank you.

So where's grandpa?

- Your mother's
upstairs resting.

Your father went to be with her.

- [John] How's she been feeling?

- Her spirits seem to be high.

- That's good.

- Where have you been all day?

- Trying to fulfill a promise.

One that looks
like I can't keep.

- What?

- She said she knew it was time.

Closed her eyes
and drifted away.

[Solemn music]

- Why didn't she ask for me?

- She said her
peace to everyone.

Revisited a peaceful moment

makes the peace at risk.

She wanted to be remembered
by nothing but a smile.

- [John] Excuse me.

- [Rachel] It's okay.

- [Carolyn] If a man
vows a vow to the lord

or swears an oath to
bind himself by a pledge,

he shall not break his word.

He shall do according to all
the proceeds out of his mouth

and whenever you stand praying,

forgive, if you have
anything against anyone

so that your father
also who is in heaven

may forgive you your trespasses.

Obstacle three.

- Hey there.
- Hey.

How are things?

- [Gabby] Good as always.

- Hey baby.

- Hey.

[Knocking on door]

- [Holly] Can I help you?

- You may not remember
me, but I'm John--

- Archer.

- Right.

- [Holly] How can I help you?

- Do you have a minute to talk?

- What do we have to talk about?

- I'm not sure exactly.

- Gabby, can you give
me just a minute?

- Of course.
- Okay.

What did you need
to talk to me about?

- Well I guess I
should start by saying

I met with your
husband yesterday.

- And why would you do that?

- [John] I'm not
sure of that either.

It comes down to a promise
I made to my grandmother,

the rest I'm trying
to figure out.

- I really hate to
ask this John, but...

I'm a very busy girl,
what exactly do you need?

- [John] When was the last
time you saw your husband?

- Why?

- I'm just trying to
complete a puzzle here

and I don't even think
I have the right pieces.

- I take my daughter in
once a month to see him.

We stay for a few
minutes and then leave.

Then I spend the next
month trying to forget

I sat in front of him.

- Have you noticed
a change in him?

- Of course, look
at what he did.

When you're at rock bottom,
there's only one way to go.

- I don't know why,
but for some reason,

he had a relationship
with my grandmother.

A profound
relationship it seems.

- Noah's a lot of things
but there's nothing

profound about him.

- I think that's
where my grandmother

saw things differently.

It may even be why I'm here.

- If that's the case then
you're wasting your time.

- Look I'm not trying
to change your thinking.

I can't even get mine to change.

The next time you see him,

be open to the fact
that he's a changed man.

- I can't even
comprehend the pain

that he's caused your family.

My daughter, she's still
sittin' in that house alive.

If you're open to the fact
that he's not a monster,

then maybe I can try it too.

Yeah.

I need to get back inside.

- This may sound really strange,

but is there any way I
can meet your daughter.

- Yeah, sure.

Laney.

Someone here i'd
like you to meet.

This is John.
- Hi Laney.

It's nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you, John Archer.

- It was good to meet you too.

- [Holly] Me too.

- I should get going,
but thanks again.

- [Holly] You're welcome.

- Price?

What are you doing here?

How'd you know where to find me?

- There's this little diner
like right when

I got into aiken,
gave me this address.

Said I might find you here.

- Well you should've called.

Would've saved you the
trouble of hunting me down.

- It's no trouble, I kinda
wanted to surprise ya.

- Yeah, well you did.

Thanks for coming.

- How's your grandma doing?

- She passed away last night.

- John no, I'm so sorry.

- [John] It's okay, it's okay.

- You're a terrible liar,
you know that right?

- How would you like
to meet my family?

- I would really like that.

- [John] Grandpa, i'd
like you to meet price.

- [James] Hello.

- I just heard, I'm so
sorry for your loss.

- Thank you.

- I know she was a great woman.

It's good to finally
meet you though, sir.

I've heard lots of
wonderful things.

- [James] Sir. [Laughs]

How old do you think I am?

- [Price] I'm thinking late 20s.

- Smart girl.
[Laughs]

- Price, this is Rachel.

- It's nice to meet you.
- You too.

- Where are Robert and the kids?

- He took the kids home.

- Hey grandpa is it alright

if price takes
the guest bedroom?

- Of course.

- Thank you, I'm gonna
stay out of y'all's hair,

I just really wanted to come by

and meet you guys and
let you know my family's

been praying for you all.

- Thank you.

- I'm gonna go grab
my bag out of the car.

- I can get it.
- No it's fine, stay.

I'll be right back.
- Alright.

- She's great, John.
- Yeah, yeah, she is.

- Daddy, do you need me
to stay here tonight?

- [James] I don't,
I'll be just fine.

- Yeah, you should go
home, get some rest.

I'll be here.

- Okay.

- Come on, I'll take
you to your room.

- [Price] It was good
to meet you both.

- [James] Nice meeting you.

- [Price] This room's so roomy.

- My grandmother
loved her house.

- I can tell.

You know...

You're kind of like a
book I've had for awhile.

Just never really opened it.

I keep reading the
front and back cover

but I never look
at the whole story.

- What do you wanna know?

- Everything.

- Well you have to
start somewhere.

- Is Rachel your sister?

- I have a long book.

- What else do we have to do?

- Okay.

You know that my mom died
when I was real little,

I told you that.

Grandfather and
grandmother aren't really

the only parents I've known.

So aunt Rachel became
my sister Rachel.

We just never felt like
siblings because of the age gap.

We still had that same hatred

that some siblings have
just none of the closeness.

That gap became a
canyon after that night.

- Your sister blames you.
- Yeah.

Yeah, she should.

I would blame me.

I've tried everything to
get it out of my head.

You look tired.

- I am.

- Chapter two soon?

- [James] How did I know
I would find you in here?

- Probably because this
is where I always come

when I have words to say
and no idea how to say them.

What are you still doing up?

- Probably the same
reason you are.

Nowadays it seems
we get so focused

on the minutia of the
possible reactions

to our words that we end
up not saying the things

that so badly need to be heard.

- Yeah well based
on my track record,

whatever I have to say
really needs to be heard.

- So says the man saying them.

Have you ever asked
the folks hearing it?

I hate to hear about people
talking about failures.

Failure is not easy.

Failure takes effort.

Where do we get off
complaining about not getting

the results we want or need

when we didn't even try to
get them in the first place?

This family has had
to endure a tragedy

of a kind I wouldn't
wish upon a worst enemy.

But for the first time
since it happened,

it seems we're making strides
to be a family once again.

There's nothing in the
world your grandmother

wanted more than to
have that happen.

Don't let your fear of words

prevent US from taking
another step closer.

You'll figure it out.

I have something for you.

Come with me.

- She still is beautiful.

No.

No, grandpa, I
don't deserve this.

- Don't be silly, it's your car.

- No, seriously grandpa.

I can't take this.

- Cars have more
forgiveness than we do.

- Thank you.

- [James] Good night.

- Grandpa?

Look, I want to say
the right things.

I just don't think I can.

- I think you can.

More importantly
god knows you can.

You just gotta have faith.

- I've heard that word a
lot in the past few days.

I don't think I have
any faith right now.

Honestly I'm not
sure I ever did.

- You may not have faith
but one thing I can promise,

faith has you, kid.

[Door creaking]

- What?

- Can we please stop this?

- [Rachel] Stop what?

- Stop this.

This thing that we do everyday.

Rachel I don't know if
I can take it anymore.

I don't know what that means.

I just can't do it.

[Soft piano music]

- Do you have some
magical way to fix it?

You think I like living
a life like this?

I'm trying.

Everything I know how
to take away the pain.

As bad as it sounds,

I feel better now
that mama's died.

At least now I can make
myself believe that

Lila's back with family.

I am drowning in anger.

My daughter thinks I hate her.

My son hasn't spoken
to me in days.

And I don't...

And I don't even wanna know
what you feel about me.

There's nothing about a
life like this that I enjoy.

- Rachel, when's the last time
you got down on your knees

and practiced what you preached?

You've always told
everyone else,

to pray to god in
their darkest hour.

You are in a pitch black.

You want to go at it all alone.

- I guess I've grown
up and realized that

faith is easier to
preach than to practice.

- If you say faith was easy,

it was easy it
wouldn't be the key

to so many amazing things.

- I could have all
the faith in the world

and it wouldn't matter.

No amount of faith is
gonna bring Lila back.

- You're right it wont.

She's looking down
at US from heaven

and she'll be happy
to know that faith

brought her family back.

I picture her smiling
down on US every day.

Rachel, magic
doesn't make faith,

faith makes magic.

- I could use a little
bit of both right now.

- We've lost so much.

I can't lose you too.

[Easygoing music]

- Sheriff Baxter.
- John Archer?

- Yes sir, this is
my girlfriend price.

- It's nice to meet you, price.

This is my grandson, Matt.

- Good to meet you both.
- Hey Matt.

Thank you for meeting with me.

- It's no trouble.

I'd do anything as a
favor to your grandfather.

What can I do for you?

- I'm gonna let you guys talk.

- Alright.

Well, there's this prisoner
that's in the county

that I'm looking for some
one on one time with.

Noah--
- Noah wilcox.

- Yeah, yeah, how'd you know?

- That only makes sense.

What do you need from me?

- [John] How can I get
some more time with him?

- [Baxter] I don't know
why you'd want more time.

- Honestly sir I don't
even know myself.

I just know it's time my
grandmother wanted me to spend.

- I'll tell you what,
give me a couple of hours

and head on over,
I'll get you set up.

- Really?

Just like that.
- Just like that.

- Thank you, sir,
I appreciate it.

- No problem, tell your
grandfather I said hello.

- I will, thank you, sir.

- [Robert] Morning.

- Morning.

[Gentle music]

- You guys make a habit
out of watching US sleep?

- At least not usually
in the same room.

- I forget they're
not babies anymore.

- Does this mean you guys
love each other again?

- Buddy we never stopped
loving each other.

- Could've fooled US.

- We were only
fooling ourselves.

But that's a changin'.

We haven't been a
family for awhile now

and it's been my fault
and I'm gonna fix it.

When you lose something
so close to you,

it often blocks the
view of the great things

you still have.

But only if you let it.

I'm done lettin' it.

- I'm happy to have
you back, mama.

- Me too, baby.

Me too.

- Do you wanna come in with me?

- No, I think this is something
you need to do on your own.

- Well at least take
the car, go somewhere.

- Okay.

Maybe I'll spend time
with your grandfather.

- Bet he'd love that.

Hey...

Before we're apart again,
I just wanted to tell you

how I feel,

I love you.

Whatever has stopped
me from saying that

until now is absolutely
nothing to do with you.

It's just stuff that
I've had to work out.

- I love you too.

Good luck in there.
- Thanks.

- You must know someone.

- She's passed.

My grandpa would have
something to say here.

The more we talk,
the quieter it gets,

something like that.

- Sounds like a wise man.

- [John] He is.

- I'm gonna miss her.

You know I don't even
remember life before her,

and I think that may have
been her whole purpose.

- You're a changed man, Noah.

I didn't see it before
but I see it now.

- [Noah] I'm glad to
here you say that.

- Who were you?

I mean...

I think in order to find
forgiveness I need to know

why any of this had to
happen in the first place.

- There's nothing I could say

to earn your forgiveness, John.

- You have my forgiveness.

I'm trying to forgive myself.

- If you wanna hear the story,
I'll tell you the story.

- [John] Please.

- Just tell me where to start.

- Start before it all went down.

- I was a supervisor
at the furniture plant

out in Richmond.

I was wealthy by no means,
but you know we got by okay

and without much stress
to do it.

Then one morning I got up at
5 A.M. like I did everyday,

drove my truck out to the
plant like I did everyday

and I scanned my card
key like I did everyday.

Only this morning, the
door wouldn't open.

Apparently from some
time between that morning

and when I left
work the day before,

the plant had closed.

To this day, I was still
not exactly sure why.

That led to an immediate
lifestyle downgrade.

Cars, house, the food
that we ate every night.

The economy was in
the dumps, I mean...

Jobs were hard to find.

I did every thing I
could to earn a dollar

but it was not enough.

The closer I got to failure
to making ends meet,

the bigger the gap between
Holly and I became.

But at the end of it, she
hated the sight of me.

I don't blame her.

It was my duty to
provide for her and Laney

and I was coming up short.

I clearly remember the morning
on the day it all happened.

I was driving a
wrecker truck then.

Like most mornings, Holly
wasn't really talking to me,

so I kissed Laney and
I went out the door.

Towed a car back into
town and soon after that

my truck broke down.

For that...

I got fired.

And that pushed me
right over the edge.

Something...

Something snapped.

Looked up and I saw it.

Made a decision.

For safety reasons,
I always kept a gun

in the glove compartment.

I took it and I got
out of the truck

and then I stopped
and I turned around

and I emptied the clip, I put
all the bullets on the seat.

I was just desperate for money.

Nothing more than that.

Next thing I know i'm
robbing the place.

I know it was me standing there.

It was almost like I was outside
of my body and looking at it.

And then she walked in.

[Gun firing]

I have seen that smile
of hers every day since.

I mean,

aside from the fact there
were no bullets in the gun,

I don't even remember
pulling the trigger.

But apparently there was
a bullet in the chamber

and apparently I did
pull the trigger.

The rest is the rest.

- Why didn't you say
anything in court?

You stood there and
you said nothing.

It wouldn't have gotten you off,

but man it could've helped.

- How could I do that to Lila?

Huh?

Whose fault was it?

Hers?

It was my fault regardless of
the surrounding circumstances,

it was me standing there,
it was my gun, my bullet.

I killed that little girl.

I didn't deserve
to say anything.

- I think we use the words
blame and regret too much.

What we need is
forgiveness, redemption.

- Starting to sound like
your grandfather now.

- I just pray that god
will give me the sense

to take my own advice.

- [Noah] You'll get it.

- There is one more
question I have.

It's actually the only
question I came in here with.

- You wanna know
how the relationship

between me and
Mrs. Archer began.

Much like it did with you.

Complete shock that she
was sitting in front of me.

- Mr. Wilcox.

- Why are you here?

- [Carolyn] I take
it you know who I am.

- I do, why are you here?

Most people would say
because I've lost my mind.

But I'd like to think I
see hope behind those eyes

and with a little hope,

faith can be turned into peace.

- Why do you want
me to have peace?

- When we're faced
with tragedies,

there are obstacles that
stand in the way of faith,

redemption and forgiveness.

And when these
obstacles are removed,

then we can find our
pathway to peace.

- [Noah] That's when she started
to tell me about something

called the butterfly diaries.

From then on, she would
come to visit me every week.

Sometimes every day.

She would read from
the Bible to me.

She would tell me
stories of faith.

Stories of redemption.

Stories of forgiveness.

I never read what she was
writing in those diaries.

But she kept it
up over the years.

- Faith...

Redemption and forgiveness.

- Yes, she was very clear
it had to be in that order.

Faith starts it all.

- You were right all along.

She changed your life and she
wanted you to change mine.

- She was very intentional.

Mrs. Archer knew when
it comes to some people,

a certain voice
needs to be heard.

- Thank you.

- Those are two words I
never expected to hear again.

I didn't expect it but
I was always hopeful.

- Can I get you to
take a walk with me?

- Sure.

Let me grab my jacket.

- Well you haven't
yelled at me yet.

I think we should
celebrate that at least.

You know I thought I
tried everything I could

to get you to forgive me.

And--
- John.

- [John] No, let
me finish, please.

- Okay.
- Please. Umm...

I went from seeking
your forgiveness

to being angry at you
for not forgiving me

yet here we are and...

For the first time
since that night,

I can honestly say
I forgive myself.

[Gentle music]

And the heartache
that I've caused

this family is unforgettable.

But thanks to some good advice,

I believe that unforgettable
can be forgiven.

Rachel I love you.

But what I need most right
now is for you to forgive me.

- I don't think I've
ever spoken words

that had the potential
to control my happiness

as much as this.

I've never spoken words
this big, John boy.

But I do love you.

And I forgive you.

Are you ready, daddy?

- Reckon I'd better be.

- [Noah] Where's Laney?

- [Holly] Oh she's
out there with Gabby.

- [Noah] What's going on?

- Nothing.

I just wanted to have
a second to talk to you

before I brought her back here.

- Is everything okay?

- Yeah.

John Archer came to the house.

- He did, he must get around.

- [Holly] And I know he's
been here to see you.

- He has.

- Yeah.

He told me I needed to come
in here with an open mind.

That you're a changed man.

That you're not the
same man that you were.

- And?

- It got me to thinking.

Signs that you're a new man
have been right in front of me.

I've just been ignoring them.

- Why?

- 'Cause I couldn't
handle forgiving you.

Seeing you as a monster
trapped behind this glass.

In some odd way, it
makes my day easier.

Because if I have to think

that you're still
the man I married,

how am I supposed to sit at
home everyday without you?

I hesitate to say I love you.

Not because I don't,

but because it would be so
much easier if I didn't.

- The hard truth is

I may never get
out of this place.

I can't expect you to sit
around the rest of your life

out there waiting for me.

I can't even expect
you to want to love me.

But to hear you say that you
fight against the need to,

that's music to my ears.

- I love you.

- I love you.

Hi baby.

- Hi daddy.

- It's good to see you.

- I was wondering if maybe
we could do the hand thing

that you and daddy
did last time.

- Sounds good to me, Laney?

- [Price] Let me help you.

- I got it, I don't need help.

- Sure looks like
you do from here.

Okay enough, let me do it.

Not every southern man your
age knew how to tie a tie.

- Hey, I know how to tie a tie.

- Yeah, yeah, you do, do ya?
- Yeah.

- Well your suit looks good.
- Thank you.

- [Price] The last obstacle
is just getting this thing

around your neck.

- Wait what?
- What?

- You just said
my last obstacle.

- [Price] Yeah, your tie

and done.

- Hey there's
something I need to do.

I'll be right back, okay?

- What's going on?

John we gotta go to
the funeral soon.

- Here.

Take my keys head to the chapel

and let everyone know
I'll be there, okay?

- [Price] You want
me to drive you?

- I've gone two years
without a car, I'll be fine.

See you soon, okay?

[Gentle piano music]

- Good morning.

The family would like
to thank everyone

for their attendance.

I can't stand here

and claim to know

what angels are like.

But I do know this.

And that is if
they're anything less

than Ms. Carolyn Archer, I
gonna be very disappointed

it seems as lately every
time I was around Ms. Archer,

she was singing a song.

If she wasn't singing this song,

she was giving me one lyric.

She was helping me
apply this lyric

to the message that I was to
deliver on sunday mornings.

It seemed like at those
times she was my pastor.

Certainly not the
other way around.

So many times it felt like that.

I used to tell Ms. Archer
how much it hurt my soul

to stand up here in front of
good folks such as yourself

and try to think
of something to say

that could quite
possibly simply stop

one tear from falling.

I remember one time as I
was explaining this to her,

she looked up at me,

spread her hands out,

she said, "pastor!"

We all knew what this
means when she does that.

She said, "pastor,

"you can't have a
funeral without the fun."

Fun, she compared a
funeral to a celebration.

She looked at me and she
said, "now you go out there,

"and you tell those people

"how lucky their
loved ones are."

Lucky.

Lucky because now they're
standing next to the hand

of our maker.

In the presence of
our lord and savior

and how glorious
that it must be.

So let's put a little
fun into this funeral.

Let US enjoy this song

and let US celebrate.

Let US celebrate

Ms. Carolyn Archer.

[Gentle piano music]

♪ Amazing grace

♪ how sweet

♪ the sound

[Rachel weeping]

- I should go.
- No, she wanted you here.

- I'm sorry.

If there was anything I
could do to bring her back,

I would, please believe that.

Mr. Mills.

- [Robert] What am
I supposed to say?

- I know what to say.

Our mother would be
glad that you are here.

And I'm glad that you're here.

- I'm sorry.

- I know.

I forgive you.

And I know...

I know that our baby
forgives you too.

[Emotional music]

- You know Ms.
Archer always said

that she was waiting
for butterflies.

I never told her this but
I had absolutely no idea

what she was talking about

but now I do.

It warms my heart to know

that she's no longer waiting.

[Gentle piano music]

♪ Amazing grace

♪ how sweet

♪ the sound

- [John] Carolyn Mabel Archer's
favorite scripture was this.

Do not be conformed
to this world,

but be transformed by
the renewal of your mind.

That by testing you may discern
what is the will of god,

what is good and
acceptable and perfect.

Romans 12:2.

It's been said that if
nothing ever changed,

there would be no butterflies.

I pray that we all have
lives full of butterflies,

full of change that is met
with our eyes and faith,

forgiveness and redemption.

With our eyes on the miracles.

Not the miracles we
are so sure we need

or the miracles we are
so sure we deserve,

but the miracles that like
to show themselves as we are.

Waiting for butterflies.

[Easygoing music]

♪ A butterfly on the windowsill

♪ big dreams with
some shoes to fill

♪ old man he's seen history

♪ first dirt and
then the buildings

♪ but they've all been torn down

♪ just as he's torn down

♪ boy in room going crazy

♪ girl outside she's been lazy

♪ but they've all been torn down

♪ just as I'm torn down

♪ 'Cause I can see
the nights unfold

♪ just laying by the waves

♪ of Jade

♪ and I can see your
love for miles between

♪ and I can see your
love for miles between

♪ I can see the nights unfold

♪ just praying by
the waves of Jade

♪ 'cause I can sing of
your love for miles between

♪ The rain's coming

♪ the rain is coming

♪ the rain is coming down

♪ light of the world

♪ make way for me

♪ 'cause I can see
the lights unfold

♪ just laying by
the ways of Jade

♪ 'cause I can see your
love for miles between

♪ you're the Messiah

♪ you're the deliverer

♪ I love your name,
I love your name

♪ I love your name

♪ I love your name,
I love your name

♪ I love your name

♪ you're the Messiah

♪ you're the deliverer

♪ I love your name,
I love your name

♪ I love your name

♪ A butterfly on the windowsill

♪ with big dreams and
some shoes to fill

♪ some day you might find

♪ what you're looking for