Vovka in a Far Far Away Kingdom (1965) - full transcript

Soyuzmultfilm presents

Vovka in the Never-Ever Tsardom

Screenplay: V.Korostylyov

Director: V.Stepantsev

Staging directors:

A.Savchenko, P.Repkin

Camera: M.Druyan

Composer: I.Yakushenko

Sound: B.Filchikov

Art: O.Gemmerling, G.Arkadyev

Assistant Directors:

V.Turbiner, Ye.Shilova

Animators: Yu.Butyrin, O.Orlova,

A.Aleshina, A.Petrov, T.Taranovich

V.Dolgikh, G.Barinova, S.Zhutkovskaya,

L.Kayukov, A.Abarenov, V.Arsentyev

"Fairy Tales"

- Well, what else would you like

to read, my dear?

- I'd like another book like this one.

- I've got something even better.

Take a look.

"Do it yourself"

- Always "yourself" and "by yourself."

What about like in here?

Live like royalty! Doing nothing is

the only thing you get to do!

- Then you absolutely must visit...

...the Never-Ever Tsardom.

- Ha, like anyone can get there.

- And why not?

Where's the fairy-tale section here...

Ah, found it!

Now stand over here...

Straighten your head...

Try to be still...

- Wow!

- You see, only drawn little boys

can live in books. But you two...

...are the same thing, right?

- It's a fact! Are you a fairy?

- Oh, no-no! There is nothing

magical about this.

I just read this book

from time to time.

Well, go on, dear.

- Nobody's around.

Hello! Where is everyone?

- I've piles of food and drink immenses

and other stuff to stuff my tum.

But now and then I paint some fences

so no-one thinks that I'm a bum.

- Tsar! Hey, tsar!

- Oh my goodness!

- You scared me!

I thought someone picked up our

book to read, and I'm dressed like that.

- No, it's just me! But why were you

painting that fence?

You're a tsar! You're not supposed

to be doing anything at all!

- I know, I know...

That's my job -- doing nothing is

the only thing I get to do.

I'm bored to death!

And besides...

I'm not a real tsar.

I'm a fairy-tale tsar.

I figured -- while the book is on

the shelf, I'll paint a fence.

Useful, and a nice distraction.

Don't you agree?

- Nope. You just don't get

the point of living like royalty.

A tsar, that's...

You want candy? You got it!

You want ice-cream? You got it!

And he's painting fences.

- Well-well...

I see.

Care to yield a seat to the elderly?

Or do they not teach that at school?

- There you go.

- And the crown, too.

- There you go.

- It's a tad big on you.

- So... Ice-cream, you say?

- Yeah!

- Hello!

Guards!

- All right, boys.

Chop his head off.

For being a bum.

- Not a problem!

- At... the... door...

At the door...

...his old woman...

...and in front of her

a broken wash-tub.

Ah, that's where I am.

- Grandma! Hi!

- Hello, dearie.

- Grandma, how does one go about

seeing the Goldfish?

You should know, of all people.

- Well, the sea is right there.

- Except, I really suggest you don't go.

Just listen what sort of

travesty happened to me...

- She's going to try and tell me!

Like I didn't read all about it.

But I'm not you, right?

I don't want to be

"the ruler of all sea!"

She'll quickly see things my way.

- Hey, sonny!

Sweetie...

...you know...

...could you ask her

for a new wash-tub?

- Woah there!

Don't start that again!

First you'll want a wash-tub.

Then you'll want a washing machine!

- No, no...

...nothing like that.

- Oh, very well. I'll ask.

- Hey, Goldfish!

Hey-hey! Goldfish!

Can you hear me?

- What do you desire, old man?

- What? What's this?

- Ah-ha, Goldfish!

Listen up, Goldfish. First of all...

...I'll need you to...

- What?

Did you first weave the net?

Did you cast it three times

into the sea?

Did you catch me?

Didn't move a finger, but already

thinks he can order me around.

- Hey, where are you dragging me?

Oh, yeah? Whatever!

Stupid herring!

- Wow, that's awesome!

Hey! Who are you?

- We? We're Vasilisas the Wise.

- Who?

- Vasilisas the Wise!

- Where did you come from?

- We're here from different fairy-tales.

- Because we're holding

a Young Vasilisa Symposium.

- On the topic of wisdom exchange.

- What?

- Wisdom.

- I wish I could, you know, learn a few

wisdoms myself. Exchange or whatever.

- What do you think, girls?

Should we teach him?

- We'll teach him!

"Palace"

"(standard)"

"Pool"

"Tea Cloth"

"Self-serving"

Here's a lesson to be heeded:

let us calculate firsthand

how much cinderblock is needed

so the house is built as planned.

Let us quickly calculate

How the water pipes relate

Where from, and where it's flowing

Mathematics will dictate.

- I don't wanna!

I don't wanna!

First they teach me at school,

and now they teach me here, too!

- Hmm...

- You, my friend, need to get to the

Never-Ever Tsardom.

- Whatever for?

- Ah, but there you'll find

"two from the chest, at your behest."

Anything you tell them to do,

they'll do it for you.

- Anything at all?

- Anything.

- Wow, how do I get there?

- Go straight, and so you

don't get lost, follow this.

- Well, bye!

- Bon voyage!

"The Never-Ever Tsardom"

- Hey!

Two from the chest,

at my behest!

- Present!

- Hi!

Okay... is that true...

You'll do anything for me?

- Yeah!

- Yeah? Okay, then get me...

First of all, cookies!

Second of... hey.

Oh, are you going to bend

the fingers for me, too?

- Yeah.

- Very well.

- Second of all, candies!

And third... well, go on, bend.

And third of all, ice-cream!

And hurry, quick!

- Right away!

- Hey, hey! Hello! Stop!

What, are you going to

eat it for me, too?

- No, thanks. Get back into the chest.

- Pastries, hot pastries!

Meat-pies, turnovers, mincemeat tarts!

- A stove!

- Hello there!

- Listen, stove... can you

get me something to eat?

- Of course, dear!

Only... first you'll need

to chop some wood...

...get the fire going...

then knead some dough.

- All right, no problem!

Hey, you!

Two from the chest!

There you are.

This needs chopping and kneading.

- Right away!

- Not again!

The other way around!

- Got it!

- Are you doing this on purpose?

You want me to go around hungry?

- Get back into the chest, right now!

- These two have no clue.

I better do it myself.

One more time...

Why is it not chopping?

Whatever, this will do.

- Right, I'll knead this up, then...

Is this dough?

Why is it all sticky?

Oh, whatever.

This will do, I'm sure.

- There's your pastry.

- Yuck, what's this?

It's all black!

- Well, go on, then!

You baked it, you eat it!

- What, this is pastry?

No, thank you, I really...

don't feel like one right now.

- What's with you?

Are you laughing at me?

Think I can't do anything?

Just like you?

- Hah! Not at all! I just don't

have any tools, that's all.

- Well, that's easy.

- What's this?

Tools?

Okay!

Very well.

Whatever I want,

I can do it myself!

A trough, or a wash-tub.

I forgot this was over here.

Ah, if I could manage this...

...she'd be totally amazed!

- My goodness!

Don't tell me the Goldfish took pity.

- No, grandma, I did it all by myself!

- Atta boy!

Now you know what?

- What?

- Want to build me a house?

- A house?

I don't know how yet.

Let's see what it says

about building houses.

"Do It Yourself"

"That's all!"