Virtual Girl (1998) - full transcript
John Lewis, a programming genius, has it all- a beautiful wife and a child, a lavish home and he's on the brink of making it big after he finishes one last project, a CD-Rom Sex Game called Virtual Girl.
(suspenseful music)
(suspenseful music)
(computer beeping)
(keys clicking)
(machine whirring)
(dramatic music)
(electronic whirring)
(electronic whooshing)
(electronic whooshing)
- I've missed you.
You look so good, I can
hardly control myself.
(electronic whooshing)
(electronic whirring)
(electronic whirring)
(computer beeping)
- You're all set, babe.
100% operational.
- I don't understand.
- You're goin' public.
A casino in Vegas just ordered 20 units
and that's just the beginning.
- I'm yours, just for you.
(laughs)
- I like that, just for
you, it's got a nice touch.
Just.
For.
You.
You know, I wish I could keep you, babe,
but it's time to cash in and share you
with that great, big, cold,
lonely world we all call home.
- But you said you loved me.
It's just a test, baby.
Make sure you answer correctly.
Plenty of poor bastards
out there will probably
fall in love with you.
You're software, doll.
I gotta get me some hardware.
I haven't had a date in the six months
I've been programming you.
(electronic humming)
Goddamit, another bug.
(screen blasting)
Ow, damn bitch burned my hand!
What am I saying?
Pain isn't part of the program.
- Pain?
Do you know what it feels
like to have someone you love
leave you, or worse than that,
want to give you to someone else?
That is pain.
- Look honey, your program crashed.
- Nobody leaves Virtuality.
- Manual override, shutdown program.
(whirring)
Manual override, shutdown program!
(electronic whirring)
(electricity shocking)
(groaning)
(woman laughs)
(thrilling music)
(spaceships whooshing)
(guns blasting)
(exploding)
(black hole blasting)
(ship exploding)
(beeping)
(ship exploding)
(electricity sparking)
(exploding)
(beeping)
(weapons blasting)
(exploding)
(ships whooshing)
(beeping)
(weapons blasting)
(exploding)
(beeping)
(exploding)
(doors clattering)
(weapons blasting)
(electricity crackling)
(ship exploding)
(weapons blasting)
(exploding)
(beeping)
(weapons blasting)
(ship exploding)
- Yes!
- Rock and roll!
- What does it mean?
- It means the end of Master
Yung and the Dark Confederacy's
plans to dominate the universe.
(Velcro ripping)
It also means that Space
Bandit is officially debugged.
- Debugged, you mean it's
functional, fantastic!
- Feels good to have my
feet back on the ground.
- Way to go, pal.
- You said it was beyond hope, Fred.
I told you this guy could
do it, you're the best!
- No, you said I better do it.
And yes, Charlie, I am the best.
- Tomorrow you get your reward, Johnny.
- The Richfield project, yes!
Well, ladies and
gentlemen, that's the final
show of the evening.
Your coats and hats are at
the door, I'm outta here.
The Richfield project, finally!
- Not quite.
(suspenseful music)
- Honey?
(soft rock music)
(water splashing)
(door creaking)
(water splashing)
Honey, is that you?
(knuckles rapping)
Babe?
- Hi, honey.
- Hi.
- I didn't hear you come home.
(lips smacking)
(sighs)
(computer keys clicking)
- You know a bedroom doesn't
make a very good office, sweetie.
- Oh I'm sorry, sweetie.
We're going to court with
the Bowser case tomorrow
and I'm giving the opening argument.
- How come all the lawyers on TV
have hot, passionate sex the
night before the big case?
- Perry Mason didn't.
- I'm talking about the shows in color.
Nice computer.
What program is this?
- Oh, something I wrote to
cross reference evidence
in prior case histories.
- Something you wrote, I'm impressed.
- Well, I've had a good teacher.
(romantic music)
(infant crying)
- Honey!
Have you seen my pajamas?
(birds chirping)
You promised me the Richfield
project, I've earned it.
- And it's still yours, I just need you
to take care of one little thing first.
- Forget it, opportunities like Richfield
don't happen every day.
- You don't even know what
I'm asking you to help with.
At least hear me out.
- How many times do I
have to save your ass
before you come through for me?
Richfield could really put me on the map.
- Saving my ass is what you get paid for.
I'm putting you on Virtual Girl.
- A cyber sex toy for
chronic masturbators?
- That's our client base.
This thing is huge.
It will be the biggest
moneymaker since Pong.
- No, it's time for me to start working
on the big stuff, Charlie.
I'm tired of fixing computer toys.
- You know how many lonely computer dweebs
sit around all night waiting to go online
and talk dirty in some cyber chatroom?
For them, this is the real deal.
And you got your work cut out for you.
I wanna make a big splash with this thing
at the software convention on the 27th.
- The 27th, that's two weeks.
- You want the Richfield job?
- I don't even know what's wrong
with this cyber hooker yet.
- Find out!
Now.
(dramatic music)
- Hold my calls, Kim.
- Yes, Mr. Lewis.
(beeping)
(computer keys clicking)
- Bring up Virtual Girl.
Activate interface.
(whirring)
(whooshing)
Fully interactive.
(bridge whooshing)
This is a serious program.
Wow.
(whooshing)
- Hi sexy, I don't believe we've met.
- You are so.
- Real?
- Yeah, you're amazing.
- I was hoping you'd like
me, you're just my type.
Strong, intelligent, sensitive.
- I guess you don't play hard to get.
- Oh, I know how to play games.
I just didn't think you seemed the type.
I figure you get enough of that at home.
- Excuse me?
- From your wife, the wedding ring.
- Oh right.
You are an unbelievable piece of work.
- Do you like what you see?
I'll change for you if you like.
- No, lingerie works for me.
(laughing)
(mystical tinkling)
(chuckles)
- Nice tease.
So far, so good.
(lips smacking)
- Not tonight, John, I had a lousy day.
- So did I.
No reason we should have lousy night too.
- John, hello.
I said not tonight.
We'll have plenty of time this weekend
to catch up at Mom's beach house.
- I can't go this weekend.
Charlie put me on this new project
and I've got to get it
done before the convention.
- That sucks.
- I know, and he's dangling
the Richfield project
in front of me like a carrot.
- I thought you already
had that assignment.
- So did I.
♪ I am tired and I am cold ♪
- Charlie's kind of a cock.
Just like the old days, huh, pal?
A little late night
swerve, swagging beers,
scoping babes.
- I hope I didn't interrupt
anything with you and Michelle.
- Monique, nah.
She moved out a month ago.
Got a job as Amazon Girl
at a comic book convention.
I was just watching some late night TV.
- You taking Richfield?
- Me, no way, that's your baby.
- I didn't mean anything, I'm just.
- It's cool, I heard we're gonna be
working with some people
from the Icarus Project.
The honchos are bringing somebody in.
- (sighs) Great, and I'm
stuck in cartoon land
with a computerized Betty Boop.
- Seems like a pretty good gig to me.
Turn her off whenever you want,
no lipstick on the collar.
- Very funny.
I gotta tell you though,
it's kinda spooky.
- Have you fully tested her?
- What do you mean?
- Come on, John, you haven't
been married that long.
- I wonder.
- Have you nailed her?
- No, and I don't plan to, I'm married.
- Not even a quickie?
- (chuckles) No.
- Why not?
- I just told you.
- It's part of the job.
- Excuse me, do you have a light?
- Sorry.
- Whoa, standby.
- Thanks.
- The next Michelle.
- You've got the touch with this thing.
(suspenseful music)
- Activate interface.
(electric whirring)
Interface still a rocky ride.
(woman laughs)
Hide and seek?
Good.
Keeps the participant on his toes.
Right stage, where's the star?
(sniffing)
They smell better than the real thing.
- Better than the real
thing's my specialty.
Roses, you shouldn't have.
- I didn't.
Ah, what the hell.
I picked them up at the
virtual Valentine's shop.
Pretty flowers for a pretty lady.
(whooshing)
- Have you ever made
love on a bed of roses?
- Logical temporal
distortions, jumps in time.
Brilliant.
- Thank you.
- Uh, I didn't mean.
You're welcome.
- Still trying to figure me out, John?
- Afraid so.
Adam and Eve fantasy, wow.
- Maybe you'd have better
luck if you just play along.
Let your little head do the
thinking, not the big one.
- No way, I'm not gonna
become a love slave
to a computer chip.
- I thought I was the love slave.
- I'm married, remember.
My ring?
I'm considering this a
glitch in the program, lady.
Fork over the ring.
- I like you, John.
- I'm not here to play, I'm here to work.
- How can you figure me out if you
enter my world like a
cold-blooded anthropologist?
I'm here to serve you.
- I'm busy, Virtuality.
Just call me Virtue.
I don't want your tongue getting tired.
Yet.
- It's time for me to go.
- Aren't you forgetting something?
- Thank you.
- Forgetting something else?
- Whoa, shutdown program!
- Just like Adam and Eve, John.
A new beginning.
(panting)
(whirring)
- Note, glitch in exit matrix.
(dramatic music)
(insects chirping)
- John.
John.
Johnny.
Johnny, I miss you, come in and see me.
- Karen?
- Hey big boy, activate
your interface or whatever
and get your cute little butt in here.
- Virtuality?
(insects chirping)
Activate interface.
(whirring)
- Hey, cowboy.
- Hi.
- I've missed you.
- Yeah, right.
- It's true, I have.
- I'm sure you think you have.
- You've been teasing me for
so long, let me prove it.
- I've been teasing you, what a concept.
You should talk to my wife about that.
- What does she have to do with us?
- Nothing, but she's
got a lot to do with me.
- Does she make you happy?
- Most of the time.
- Well, I'm here to pick up the slack.
(lips smacking)
- Damn you feel good.
- I'm glad, you feel good too.
Are you sure I'm what you want?
- Yes.
(whooshing)
- I want you to be sure.
- Who do you like?
- Who do you want?
- Who do you wanna be with?
- (stammers) What?
- Who do you want?
(stutters)
Who do you like?
- Who do you like
- I want you to be sure.
- Who do you want to be with?
- Do you still want to be with me?
- Yes, I still want to be with you.
(whooshing)
- [Virtuality] John.
(labored breathing)
John.
(electric whirring)
Johnny.
(labored breathing)
(electronic whirring)
(labored breathing)
Oh, Johnny.
(sighs)
- Coffee.
Kim?
(suspenseful music)
(heels clacking softly)
Must have spent too much
time in the virtual world.
(sighs) I'm seeing things.
(heels clacking)
(motor humming)
- Hi, sweetie!
(key clatters)
Damn, what the hell is this?
Don't worry, Sammy,
we're at the right house.
Mommy's just losing her marbles.
- Okay, I'm acting weird.
(rattling)
(rattling)
- Dropped my banana.
Okay.
(heels clacking)
(alarm beeping)
(sighs)
- Daddy installed a new
computer security system.
Yeah, Daddy's supposed
to be a computer genius.
Mommy's gonna go look for
an open window, Sammy.
I'll be right back.
Yes!
(TV buzzing)
- Hey John, what's up?
(door creaking)
(shoes thudding)
(infant crying)
(dramatic music)
Sammy!
Sammy.
Sammy!
- Ma'am, you live here?
- Yeah.
- Okay, we received a silent alarm
to alert us there might
be an intruder inside.
- Oh yeah, my keys didn't work.
I had to go in through a window.
- Do you have any ID, Ma'am?
- Yeah.
- Let's take a look at it.
(suspenseful music)
- Virtue?
- Can't help you.
Virtue isn't one of my virtues.
- You have your own
computer, don't you, Charlie?
- Didn't see you around,
thought I'd check your progress.
How's your sex drive?
- Very funny, how'd
you get my access code?
- It wasn't locked.
We're supposed to be running
a tight ship around here.
This program is worth millions.
- It wasn't locked?
I don't expect people to be
sneaking around my office
while I'm gone, that includes you.
- Look, you got one week
left, I'm counting on you.
- Wait a minute, it was two
weeks a couple of days ago.
You're cutting my time in half?
- Gotta do it, buddy,
it's not coming from me.
Marketing department needs
time to learn the program
if they're going to sell
it at the convention.
- You're a real piece of
work, you know that, Charlie?
Sometimes I think you're
trying to sabotage my career.
- You're the best I've got, John.
Why would I do that?
- Jealousy, I make it
happen, I do all the work.
You're just an office manager.
You make sure the time
clock is well-oiled.
- This ain't gonna get
personal, you got one week.
- Then give me some help.
Listen, this thing is
right up Fred's alley.
Why do I have to finish it?
- Because you're the best.
We agreed when I made you a senior partner
that you'd handle our biggest projects.
- Fine.
But my name doesn't go
anywhere near this project,
not as long as I'm married and
my parents are still alive.
You understand that?
- How is Karen?
- She's fine.
- Great, now get back
to our little goldmine.
(thrilling music)
- Yeah.
- Night, honey.
- Night, sweetheart.
I'm sorry about that screw-up
with the security system.
I thought I debugged it.
- Okay, honey.
Just disconnect it or whatever
it is you need to do, okay?
- Sure.
- Honey.
Honey?
You asleep?
(whirring)
(computer keys clicking)
Where'd the extra 200 thou come from?
(dialing)
Hi Steve, it's John.
Put Karen on, will ya?
(buzzing)
- [Karen] Hello?
Hello?
- Hi, sweetie.
- Hi, sexy.
- [Karen] Who is that?
- Just Fred's idea of a joke.
Some sort of virtual
hooker program outtake.
I'll talk to you later, sweetie.
- If I'm a hooker, what
does that make you?
- Shut down program.
- Is this your way of saying that you
don't wanna see me now?
See you later.
(sighs)
- Hey, pal.
- Hey.
- How's the happy hooker?
- She's having a great time.
It's me I'm starting to worry about.
- What's going on?
- It's probably nothing, just some trouble
with the exit matrix.
- Hey, if you need some help
I'll dive right in there.
- Nah, I'll deal with it.
I think the problem's as much
in my head as anything else.
Activate interface.
(whirring)
- I thought you could use a drink.
- I think you're right.
- Maybe a back rub?
- No, that'd be Karen.
- I know, you always give her a message.
When was the last time you had one?
- I can't remember.
- When was the last time you got anything?
- That's none of your business.
- Last night, the night before?
(lips smacking)
- It doesn't matter.
- Well, it matters to me.
You deserve whatever you want on demand.
- That only exists in the
movies and cyberspace.
- Well, it exists with me.
- Like I said, in cyberspace.
You're not real.
(lips smacking)
- Does that feel real?
- Yes it feels real, but
I know that it isn't.
- I'm as real as you want me to be.
(sighs)
- That's the problem.
(phone ringing)
- John?
(woman moaning)
(woman laughing)
(lock beeping)
(lips smacking)
- Sorry I'm so late.
- Why didn't you call?
- I got stuck in this
program, I lost track of time.
- Okay.
(lips smacking)
I love you, John.
- I love you too.
(alarm blaring)
- The baby!
(infant crying)
(beeping)
- Why the hell did the smoke
alarm system go into test mode?
- Because you said you loved her.
- What?
- Hey, Mark.
- Hey, Fred.
- Sorry I'm late.
What's this all about?
- Beats me, you look like hell, man.
- Thanks.
- All right, it looks like
we're all here except one
so let me begin by thanking you all
for your hard work these past few months.
The projections for Space
Bandit are proving true.
And we all know how well
Dr. X's Dungeon is doing.
- Way to go, John.
- Yes, we're all aware of
John's debugging exploits
but one man can't do it alone.
I'm not saying that's been the
case but it's a group effort.
We all reap the rewards, we
all share the sacrifices.
We're a team.
That being said, I'd like to
introduce the newest member
of our team, Ms. Cynthia Lee.
Ms. Lee, why don't you say a
few words, introduce yourself.
- I headed the Icarus Project
throughout its formative years
and I'm looking forward to doing the same
with the Richfield Project.
Other than that, I'm looking forward
to working with all of you.
- Them's the breaks, pal.
She'll probably fall flat on her ass
and you'll end up taking over
the Richfield Project anyway.
- I don't believe that
we've been introduced.
- How'd you get out?
- I don't understand.
- Ms. Lee, allow me to introduce
one of our resident geniuses, John Lewis.
- Mr. Lewis, it's a pleasure.
Your reputation precedes you.
- So what's next, you morph
into some sexy lingerie?
(chuckles)
- Excuse us, Ms. Lee.
John's been sitting in front
of the computer monitor
a bit long, if you know what I mean.
Look John, I'm sorry about the
Richfield job but get a grip.
I know how much it meant to
you but business is business.
- She's getting back at me.
She's taking Richfield to get back at me.
- You're not making sense.
If you talk that way to her again
she slaps us with a sexual harassment suit
faster than we know what hit us.
- You don't get it do you,
she's the Virtual Girl.
She's Virtuality, the sex toy you're
hoping to make millions
with, don't you get it?
- She's Virtuality?
- And you just handed her my future.
(suspenseful music)
- He created Virtual Girl.
He was a lonely computer
geek who had a crush on me.
It's not my fault.
It was the company Christmas
party, I was drunk,
he was kind of cute, and
he just never got over it.
- So you agreed to
Virtual Girl in writing.
- Yes, I did.
- That's enough for me.
- I don't buy any of this.
- Listen, I don't owe either
of you an explanation.
So if you'll excuse me
I have a corner office
to settle into.
- This is spooky, this is real spooky.
- Let it go, John.
You're an asset to this
company, don't change that.
I need a martini.
(whirring)
- Virtual Girl] Spank
me, I've been so bad.
No stop, please, I beg you.
Stop.
(laughs)
- Don't do that anymore.
- You didn't seem to mind.
- Just don't.
- Your on edge, aren't you?
- Yeah, and you're not helping.
- Baby, I am the only reason
that you're hanging on.
So what's the problem?
- My job, my home life,
(sighs) my mental health.
- Well, your home life is no
surprise but I thought you
were the resident genius
over at the corporation.
- I'm beginning to feel
like the resident chump.
- Overworked and underappreciated huh?
- That pretty much sums it up.
- Is there anything I can do?
- Not unless I moved into your world
like you moved into mine.
- What do you mean?
- Cynthia Lee, that's your real name.
- If that's what you want
you can call me that.
You can do anything you want.
- Cynthia Lee just took
over my dream project.
She looks just like you.
- Just like me?
- To a T.
At first I thought.
I thought it was you, it blew my mind.
She says the computer
geek that dreamed you up
patterned you after her.
- It was a team.
- What?
- It wasn't just one
person, it was a team.
Three specialists working in secret.
It was just a game at first
but the more they experimented
the more the potential for
the project became apparent.
Martin Spammer created me.
My hair, my body, everything.
He was a disgusting twerp,
sleeping with him sickened me.
He didn't belong in my world.
He created me for his own personal use.
It became day and night for him,
which was no big deal since he
had no personal life to speak of.
It became too much for
him and he lost his mind.
(head exploding)
The second guy was different,
his motive was profit.
He had the third guy
removed from the project.
He was a cold, heartless business man.
But he finally saw the light.
He took a powder and
hasn't been seen since.
Cynthia Lee was the fuel for the fantasy.
I am the fantasy realized.
- I like you a lot
better than her, Virtue.
- She really pissed you off, huh?
- You could say that.
- Well, then I don't like her either.
- It's time for me to go.
- No, stay.
- No, I've been here too long already.
- It's never long enough for me.
(lips smacking)
- You're addictive.
- Let me give you a fix.
(romantic music)
(soft rock music on radio)
- Hi.
- Where the hell have you been?
- At work, I'm sorry.
- What's her name?
- What?
- Don't make me repeat myself.
- I don't know what your talking about.
- Okay, I'll spell it out for you.
What's the name of the
whore you've been screwing?
- Karen, I--
- I work, I mother, and tonight I cooked.
- Karen, I didn't know.
- I left three messages on your voicemail.
My mother's watching the baby tonight.
- You left me messages?
- Don't give me that.
- Just get the fuck out!
- Karen if, just let me explain.
- No, not tonight.
Why don't you go spend the night
at your girlfriend's house?
- I'll call Fred.
(suspenseful music)
- Sorry about the orange juice, pal.
The only thing in my fridge that
isn't spent are the ice cubes.
- Oh, it's all right, I
wasn't thirsty anyway.
- Come on, John, Karen's great.
She'll get over it.
- She thinks I'm cheating on her.
I'm not sure she's wrong.
- How could your old pal
Fred be the last to know?
Is it one of the sex-etaries?
The one in finance with
the braces and a nice rack?
- [John] No.
- I know, it's the old broad
with the Tina Turner legs
next to Mort's office.
- It's Virtuality.
- You're kidding me.
- I can't leave her alone.
- Virtuality isn't real, she's a program,
she's a load of megs.
- She talks to me.
Sometimes I think she's in love with me.
- That's because you're
doing a great job with her.
- I haven't done a damn thing.
A little cosmetic
surgery in the beginning,
but that's it, it's been
there from the start.
- Forget about it, Karen can't
be jealous of a computer.
That's like you getting jealous of her
heating up a footlong in the microwave.
Virtuality isn't real.
Repeat after me, "Virtuality isn't real."
Say it!
- Virtuality isn't real.
- [Fred] Again.
- Virtuality isn't real.
- [Fred] Again.
- Virtuality isn't real.
- Feel better?
- Beautiful.
(suspenseful music)
(phone dialing)
(phone ringing)
- Hello?
- Karen, it's me.
I just called to say I love you.
You're the only one, ever.
- I love you too, John.
- Whatever's wrong, we can work it out.
- I wanna work it out too.
- How's Sammy?
- My Mom says he misses his daddy.
- Hey, aren't you supposed to be at work.
- Well, I didn't sleep a wink last night
so I'm playing hooky.
- See you tonight?
- I'll think about it.
- Bye-bye.
- Bye.
(beeping)
(sighs)
(doorbell ringing)
(doorbell ringing)
- Nice digs.
- Yes?
- Mrs. Karen Lewis?
- Yes.
- I was sent by Mr. Lewis,
his secretary called.
I'm the masseur.
- Masseur?
Is this a joke?
- No joke, I'm a licensed professional.
And I'm not cheap.
- I don't know.
- I've already been paid for.
(whirring)
- Come inside and play.
Face to face.
- I gotta fix that bug.
(beeping)
(computer keys clicking)
- Well, I guess this is
more original than flowers.
- I often get hired by
husbands, lovers, boyfriends,
girlfriends, you name it.
Great setting, very relaxing.
Oh, you're gonna have to take
off the robe, Mrs. Lewis.
- Oh yeah, right.
- Great.
Just relax, let me do the rest.
(suspenseful music)
(buzzing)
- [Computer] You've got mail.
- An emergency?
(phone dialing)
(phone ringing)
- You have beautiful soft skin.
(phone ringing)
Ignore it, that's what voicemail's for.
- What the heck, I deserve this.
- Hey, what's up, cowboy,
Montezuma's Revenge?
- It's Karen, some kind of emergency.
(lock beeping)
- How does that feel?
(engine revving)
(tires screeching)
(horn honking)
- Get outta the way!
- Hey, fuck you, buddy!
(tires screeching)
- Karen?
Karen?
- Who the hell are you?
What?
(fist smashes)
(groans)
(water splashes)
I'll sue your rich ass!
- Catching you being
massaged by your lover
isn't my idea of an emergency, Karen.
In fact, it's just about
enough to put me over the edge.
I'm going back to Virtuality.
- Virtuality?
- The whore girlfriend you asked me about?
The difference between you and me
is that my lover isn't real,
she's a damned program.
- What are you talking about?
- I've been working on
a virtual lover program
called Virtual Girl.
The problem is she's too
smart and she's too real.
- I don't know what you're talking about,
but I do know you're the one who
sent that masseur over here!
- [John] What?
- He said that massage
was a gift from you.
- It was Virtuality.
- What?
- She sent him here.
She sent me your emergency email.
She set off the smoke detectors.
- You're losing me.
- Don't you see, she's in love with me.
She trying to ruin us.
- Take a step back here,
like to the beginning.
- There's no time.
You're not safe here, Karen,
you're gonna have to trust me.
Go to your mother's.
- John, you're scaring me.
- I'm scared too, just trust me.
Go to your mother's, I'll call you there.
(computer keys clicking)
- [Journalist] Thanks, Aaron.
You know technology today
has begun to pervade
every aspect of our lives.
Many think it's gone too
far, some say not far enough.
Cellphones, beepers, pagers.
Whoa, this just in, over to you, Vivienne.
- [Virtual Girl] Don't do this, John.
You know I'm the only
one who really loves you.
You can't get away from me
and why would you want to?
I'm the perfect girl.
I'll do whatever you want except leave.
- [Journalist] Emails,
emails, emails, emails.
Who knows what's coming next.
(electricity cracking)
- [Virtual Girl] You
know I'll kill the bitch
if you don't come back to me.
- Not if I kill you first.
(electricity cracking)
(tires screeching)
(screaming)
(crashing)
(electronic whirring)
- Come inside and play.
Come inside my world.
Take me on face-to-face.
Remember, I'm not real.
- I should run a reverse virus program
through the exit matrix.
- It could still work for us, John.
You'll see.
- Excuse me!
I know these virtual systems are realistic
but you have to worry when
you start talking back.
- Knock next time, all right?
- So, that's my evil twin, huh?
- Be careful.
- Hmm.
I can hardly see the pixels,
it's good, could be better.
Strictly for tourists and frat boys,
just like cheesy strip clubs.
Temperamental.
- I'm working on that.
- I'm here to pick up the Richfield files.
I heard that somehow you
ended up with some of them.
- Talk to my secretary.
- I hope there are no
hard feelings over this.
- Like I said, talk to my secretary.
- When Richfield takes off, I'd be happy
to offer you an advisory position.
- I'll keep that in mind.
- Good, I'll leave you two alone now.
(sighing)
(phone ringing)
- Yes?
Bank fraud?
- And somehow $200,000
ended up in your account
via some complicated wire transaction.
- Sounds like you've made a mistake.
You banking conglomerates do seem to
have a hard time minding
the small details.
- This is not a small detail.
You work in the computer
business, don't you, Mr. Lewis?
- In one way or another, we all do.
- Computers certainly
facilitate the transaction
of large sums of money,
like this wire transfer.
- I didn't do it.
I haven't touch the money,
you can have it back.
Now unless you're taking me to
jail, I'm going back to work.
- You look beat.
- I need you to do some investigative work
for me, Kim, and I need it quick.
- Lay it on me.
- I need to know if there
are any unusual purchases
or financial transactions or anything odd
that's come out of this
office in the past week.
- That's pretty vague.
- You used to work in finance
before coming to work for me,
maybe you can call on some favors.
I have an extra $200,000
in my checking account
and it looks like it was
a gift from the company.
- That's some bonus.
- Yeah, it comes complete
with a jail sentence.
Also, someone sent a masseur
to my house then sent me email.
Try to trace anything
unusual on the network.
Can you do that for me, Kim?
- Well, I don't know what I'm looking for
but I'll jump right on it.
- And Kim, let's keep this to ourselves.
(suspenseful music)
(electronic whirring)
- I am as real as you can make me.
(phone ringing)
- [Kim] Mr. Lewis?
- Karen, honey.
- I guess I just lost control of the car.
I don't know what happened.
- The doctor says you
have a mild concussion,
but you're gonna be all right.
Honey, this is all my fault.
- I know I've been spending
too much time at work.
John, what's happening to us?
- It's gonna be all right, Karen.
We're gonna come through
this thing together.
- I don't know.
- I do.
(monitor beeping)
- I was just so upset when I left.
It was like I just couldn't
control the car anymore.
- I had some trouble with my car too.
- It's like the breaks, they
just wouldn't, I don't know.
- I think I know what's going on.
(monitor droning)
- Maybe if the two of us could
just get away for a while.
(dramatic music)
- Oh shit!
(electricity cracking)
(Virtual Girl laughing)
- John, what's going on?
- It's that computer
program, she's stalking me.
- That's insane.
- Maybe, but we're getting
the hell out of here.
(Virtual Girl laughing)
(laughing)
(moaning)
- Oh Charlie, that was amazing.
- Sure was.
How about dinner?
- No, I have things I need to get done.
- Hey, don't work so hard.
As long as I'm running the
show, you're doing great.
- Bye.
(chuckles)
- Oh, it's great to be the boss. (laughs)
(suspenseful music)
- John?
Bitch.
(heels clacking)
(bell dinging)
(cables screeching)
- [Virtual Girl] Bye, bitchy.
- What the?
(electricity buzzing)
(Virtual Girl laughs)
Who are you?
(explosion blasting)
(screaming)
(explosion blasting)
- I know what to do, I'm
going back to the office.
It's time to face this thing head on.
- John, I'm really confused.
(phone ringing)
- Just try and get some rest.
I'll take care of everything.
- Hello?
- Hi Fred, meet me at
the office, I need your help, now.
- [Fred] The office, now?
- Yes, right now.
- [Fred] But Michelle's
coming over, come on.
- I don't care, Fred.
I'll see you in the parking
lot, I'll explain everything.
I'll meet you in front.
Whatever you do, don't
go near the computer.
(lips smacking)
(whistling)
(feet pattering)
Thanks for coming, pal, I owe you one.
- Hey, you'd do the same for me.
(beeping)
So what are we gonna do?
- I'm installing a virus in Virtual Girl.
That bitch is goin' down.
- Are you crazy?
Virtual Girl's gonna be
our biggest moneymaker.
You can't just kill it.
- Charlie never works late.
- Do you smell something burning?
- Charlie?
(sizzling)
- Holy shit.
Thanks for riding Virtual Girl,
hope you enjoyed your trip.
Let's go kick some cyber-ass.
(phone ringing)
- Hello?
- Mrs. Lewis.
- Yes.
- This is Kim, is Mr. Lewis there?
- No.
- I have some information
for him, it's important.
I tracked down those
financials he asked me about
and as it turns out the
transactions didn't go
through John's access
codes, they went through--
(clicking)
- Are you sure you don't want
me to come in there with you?
- No, you better stay out here.
If it looks like anything's going wrong,
use a manual override.
- What the hell is that?
- Just a little gift from Space Bandits,
my electro-magneinizer.
Perfect for getting rid of
those pesky little program bugs.
- Great.
Let's rock.
- Activate interface.
(electronic whirring)
(suspenseful music)
(eerie laughing)
(weapon blasting)
(roaring)
- That's some fire
extinguisher you've got there.
You must be feeling the heat.
- You won't be feeling
much of anything for long.
- Ooh, tough guy.
I always go for the sensitive type myself.
It's the way I had you pegged.
- I guess I changed when
you tried to kill my wife.
You must really hate me.
- I'm not programmed to hate.
I'm not programmed to
feel any real emotion.
I'm just a sex toy, remember.
- No, no you're not just a sex toy.
God help me, I don't know how it happened.
I don't know how they
made you, but you're real.
A real live monster.
- You didn't feel that way
when you held me in your arms.
Remember the passion, John?
Was it just a dream?
- More like a nightmare, it
almost cost me my marriage.
Now I'm here to end it.
- One last roll in the
hay before we say goodbye?
- No chance.
- Have it your way.
That's the way you've gotten it all along.
And one more thing.
- What?
- I didn't try to kill your wife.
- She's right.
I did.
- I'm bleeding.
Maybe I'm real after all.
- Kind of a moot point,
wouldn't you say, pal?
- You tried to kill Karen?
- Uh huh, and now I'm gonna
kill you, Mr. Senior Partner,
savior of the corporate universe.
(electronic whooshing)
I was never much of the marrying kind.
Not too lucky in love until
Virtuality came along.
- You're not making any sense, Fred.
- (sighs) I was part of the
team that created Virtual Girl,
but they never understood,
she was all mine.
So I programmed her for murder.
- You're crazy.
- I'm crazy?
You're the one who needs to
hit the reset button, buddy.
You almost blew your
marriage, your career,
and a friendship over a
computerized blowup doll.
Looks like it's gonna be
until death do you part
for you and my gal.
I removed the weapons
disc before entering,
kind of a little precaution.
I think Virtuality really did
love you, the little hooker.
She wouldn't kill ya, I asked her twice!
She had no problem bumping
off those other two guys.
(electricity blasting)
(exploding)
Hey, I just got a thought.
- You're gonna drop the gun and
check yourself into an insane asylum?
- No, I was just thinking that now
that you're gonna be out of
the picture maybe Karen and I
could set up a little
love nest of our own.
- You son of a bitch!
(rifle cocking)
- As soon as the smoke clears
from these little accidents,
I'm gonna be a pretty wealthy
guy, wouldn't you say?
Chicks always go for
the guys with the bucks.
I didn't wanna have to get
my hands dirty, but hey.
If you want something done right
you have to do it yourself.
(gun clatters)
- Get the gun!
(gun clatters)
(groaning)
(grunting)
(whooshing)
(foot smashes)
(gun blasting)
(screaming)
(eerie roaring)
(dramatic music)
- Virtue!
- Now we can be together forever.
- I thought.
Karen, is that you?
(lips smacking)
Boy, am I glad to see you.
- Your secretary traced the online
activity to Fred's account.
She even found out he had somehow gotten
into the computer at
the hospital via modem.
- Fred.
- I knew something was
wrong so I jacked in.
- You're amazing.
(romantic music)
(thrilling music)
(suspenseful music)
(dramatic music)
(suspenseful music)
(computer beeping)
(keys clicking)
(machine whirring)
(dramatic music)
(electronic whirring)
(electronic whooshing)
(electronic whooshing)
- I've missed you.
You look so good, I can
hardly control myself.
(electronic whooshing)
(electronic whirring)
(electronic whirring)
(computer beeping)
- You're all set, babe.
100% operational.
- I don't understand.
- You're goin' public.
A casino in Vegas just ordered 20 units
and that's just the beginning.
- I'm yours, just for you.
(laughs)
- I like that, just for
you, it's got a nice touch.
Just.
For.
You.
You know, I wish I could keep you, babe,
but it's time to cash in and share you
with that great, big, cold,
lonely world we all call home.
- But you said you loved me.
It's just a test, baby.
Make sure you answer correctly.
Plenty of poor bastards
out there will probably
fall in love with you.
You're software, doll.
I gotta get me some hardware.
I haven't had a date in the six months
I've been programming you.
(electronic humming)
Goddamit, another bug.
(screen blasting)
Ow, damn bitch burned my hand!
What am I saying?
Pain isn't part of the program.
- Pain?
Do you know what it feels
like to have someone you love
leave you, or worse than that,
want to give you to someone else?
That is pain.
- Look honey, your program crashed.
- Nobody leaves Virtuality.
- Manual override, shutdown program.
(whirring)
Manual override, shutdown program!
(electronic whirring)
(electricity shocking)
(groaning)
(woman laughs)
(thrilling music)
(spaceships whooshing)
(guns blasting)
(exploding)
(black hole blasting)
(ship exploding)
(beeping)
(ship exploding)
(electricity sparking)
(exploding)
(beeping)
(weapons blasting)
(exploding)
(ships whooshing)
(beeping)
(weapons blasting)
(exploding)
(beeping)
(exploding)
(doors clattering)
(weapons blasting)
(electricity crackling)
(ship exploding)
(weapons blasting)
(exploding)
(beeping)
(weapons blasting)
(ship exploding)
- Yes!
- Rock and roll!
- What does it mean?
- It means the end of Master
Yung and the Dark Confederacy's
plans to dominate the universe.
(Velcro ripping)
It also means that Space
Bandit is officially debugged.
- Debugged, you mean it's
functional, fantastic!
- Feels good to have my
feet back on the ground.
- Way to go, pal.
- You said it was beyond hope, Fred.
I told you this guy could
do it, you're the best!
- No, you said I better do it.
And yes, Charlie, I am the best.
- Tomorrow you get your reward, Johnny.
- The Richfield project, yes!
Well, ladies and
gentlemen, that's the final
show of the evening.
Your coats and hats are at
the door, I'm outta here.
The Richfield project, finally!
- Not quite.
(suspenseful music)
- Honey?
(soft rock music)
(water splashing)
(door creaking)
(water splashing)
Honey, is that you?
(knuckles rapping)
Babe?
- Hi, honey.
- Hi.
- I didn't hear you come home.
(lips smacking)
(sighs)
(computer keys clicking)
- You know a bedroom doesn't
make a very good office, sweetie.
- Oh I'm sorry, sweetie.
We're going to court with
the Bowser case tomorrow
and I'm giving the opening argument.
- How come all the lawyers on TV
have hot, passionate sex the
night before the big case?
- Perry Mason didn't.
- I'm talking about the shows in color.
Nice computer.
What program is this?
- Oh, something I wrote to
cross reference evidence
in prior case histories.
- Something you wrote, I'm impressed.
- Well, I've had a good teacher.
(romantic music)
(infant crying)
- Honey!
Have you seen my pajamas?
(birds chirping)
You promised me the Richfield
project, I've earned it.
- And it's still yours, I just need you
to take care of one little thing first.
- Forget it, opportunities like Richfield
don't happen every day.
- You don't even know what
I'm asking you to help with.
At least hear me out.
- How many times do I
have to save your ass
before you come through for me?
Richfield could really put me on the map.
- Saving my ass is what you get paid for.
I'm putting you on Virtual Girl.
- A cyber sex toy for
chronic masturbators?
- That's our client base.
This thing is huge.
It will be the biggest
moneymaker since Pong.
- No, it's time for me to start working
on the big stuff, Charlie.
I'm tired of fixing computer toys.
- You know how many lonely computer dweebs
sit around all night waiting to go online
and talk dirty in some cyber chatroom?
For them, this is the real deal.
And you got your work cut out for you.
I wanna make a big splash with this thing
at the software convention on the 27th.
- The 27th, that's two weeks.
- You want the Richfield job?
- I don't even know what's wrong
with this cyber hooker yet.
- Find out!
Now.
(dramatic music)
- Hold my calls, Kim.
- Yes, Mr. Lewis.
(beeping)
(computer keys clicking)
- Bring up Virtual Girl.
Activate interface.
(whirring)
(whooshing)
Fully interactive.
(bridge whooshing)
This is a serious program.
Wow.
(whooshing)
- Hi sexy, I don't believe we've met.
- You are so.
- Real?
- Yeah, you're amazing.
- I was hoping you'd like
me, you're just my type.
Strong, intelligent, sensitive.
- I guess you don't play hard to get.
- Oh, I know how to play games.
I just didn't think you seemed the type.
I figure you get enough of that at home.
- Excuse me?
- From your wife, the wedding ring.
- Oh right.
You are an unbelievable piece of work.
- Do you like what you see?
I'll change for you if you like.
- No, lingerie works for me.
(laughing)
(mystical tinkling)
(chuckles)
- Nice tease.
So far, so good.
(lips smacking)
- Not tonight, John, I had a lousy day.
- So did I.
No reason we should have lousy night too.
- John, hello.
I said not tonight.
We'll have plenty of time this weekend
to catch up at Mom's beach house.
- I can't go this weekend.
Charlie put me on this new project
and I've got to get it
done before the convention.
- That sucks.
- I know, and he's dangling
the Richfield project
in front of me like a carrot.
- I thought you already
had that assignment.
- So did I.
♪ I am tired and I am cold ♪
- Charlie's kind of a cock.
Just like the old days, huh, pal?
A little late night
swerve, swagging beers,
scoping babes.
- I hope I didn't interrupt
anything with you and Michelle.
- Monique, nah.
She moved out a month ago.
Got a job as Amazon Girl
at a comic book convention.
I was just watching some late night TV.
- You taking Richfield?
- Me, no way, that's your baby.
- I didn't mean anything, I'm just.
- It's cool, I heard we're gonna be
working with some people
from the Icarus Project.
The honchos are bringing somebody in.
- (sighs) Great, and I'm
stuck in cartoon land
with a computerized Betty Boop.
- Seems like a pretty good gig to me.
Turn her off whenever you want,
no lipstick on the collar.
- Very funny.
I gotta tell you though,
it's kinda spooky.
- Have you fully tested her?
- What do you mean?
- Come on, John, you haven't
been married that long.
- I wonder.
- Have you nailed her?
- No, and I don't plan to, I'm married.
- Not even a quickie?
- (chuckles) No.
- Why not?
- I just told you.
- It's part of the job.
- Excuse me, do you have a light?
- Sorry.
- Whoa, standby.
- Thanks.
- The next Michelle.
- You've got the touch with this thing.
(suspenseful music)
- Activate interface.
(electric whirring)
Interface still a rocky ride.
(woman laughs)
Hide and seek?
Good.
Keeps the participant on his toes.
Right stage, where's the star?
(sniffing)
They smell better than the real thing.
- Better than the real
thing's my specialty.
Roses, you shouldn't have.
- I didn't.
Ah, what the hell.
I picked them up at the
virtual Valentine's shop.
Pretty flowers for a pretty lady.
(whooshing)
- Have you ever made
love on a bed of roses?
- Logical temporal
distortions, jumps in time.
Brilliant.
- Thank you.
- Uh, I didn't mean.
You're welcome.
- Still trying to figure me out, John?
- Afraid so.
Adam and Eve fantasy, wow.
- Maybe you'd have better
luck if you just play along.
Let your little head do the
thinking, not the big one.
- No way, I'm not gonna
become a love slave
to a computer chip.
- I thought I was the love slave.
- I'm married, remember.
My ring?
I'm considering this a
glitch in the program, lady.
Fork over the ring.
- I like you, John.
- I'm not here to play, I'm here to work.
- How can you figure me out if you
enter my world like a
cold-blooded anthropologist?
I'm here to serve you.
- I'm busy, Virtuality.
Just call me Virtue.
I don't want your tongue getting tired.
Yet.
- It's time for me to go.
- Aren't you forgetting something?
- Thank you.
- Forgetting something else?
- Whoa, shutdown program!
- Just like Adam and Eve, John.
A new beginning.
(panting)
(whirring)
- Note, glitch in exit matrix.
(dramatic music)
(insects chirping)
- John.
John.
Johnny.
Johnny, I miss you, come in and see me.
- Karen?
- Hey big boy, activate
your interface or whatever
and get your cute little butt in here.
- Virtuality?
(insects chirping)
Activate interface.
(whirring)
- Hey, cowboy.
- Hi.
- I've missed you.
- Yeah, right.
- It's true, I have.
- I'm sure you think you have.
- You've been teasing me for
so long, let me prove it.
- I've been teasing you, what a concept.
You should talk to my wife about that.
- What does she have to do with us?
- Nothing, but she's
got a lot to do with me.
- Does she make you happy?
- Most of the time.
- Well, I'm here to pick up the slack.
(lips smacking)
- Damn you feel good.
- I'm glad, you feel good too.
Are you sure I'm what you want?
- Yes.
(whooshing)
- I want you to be sure.
- Who do you like?
- Who do you want?
- Who do you wanna be with?
- (stammers) What?
- Who do you want?
(stutters)
Who do you like?
- Who do you like
- I want you to be sure.
- Who do you want to be with?
- Do you still want to be with me?
- Yes, I still want to be with you.
(whooshing)
- [Virtuality] John.
(labored breathing)
John.
(electric whirring)
Johnny.
(labored breathing)
(electronic whirring)
(labored breathing)
Oh, Johnny.
(sighs)
- Coffee.
Kim?
(suspenseful music)
(heels clacking softly)
Must have spent too much
time in the virtual world.
(sighs) I'm seeing things.
(heels clacking)
(motor humming)
- Hi, sweetie!
(key clatters)
Damn, what the hell is this?
Don't worry, Sammy,
we're at the right house.
Mommy's just losing her marbles.
- Okay, I'm acting weird.
(rattling)
(rattling)
- Dropped my banana.
Okay.
(heels clacking)
(alarm beeping)
(sighs)
- Daddy installed a new
computer security system.
Yeah, Daddy's supposed
to be a computer genius.
Mommy's gonna go look for
an open window, Sammy.
I'll be right back.
Yes!
(TV buzzing)
- Hey John, what's up?
(door creaking)
(shoes thudding)
(infant crying)
(dramatic music)
Sammy!
Sammy.
Sammy!
- Ma'am, you live here?
- Yeah.
- Okay, we received a silent alarm
to alert us there might
be an intruder inside.
- Oh yeah, my keys didn't work.
I had to go in through a window.
- Do you have any ID, Ma'am?
- Yeah.
- Let's take a look at it.
(suspenseful music)
- Virtue?
- Can't help you.
Virtue isn't one of my virtues.
- You have your own
computer, don't you, Charlie?
- Didn't see you around,
thought I'd check your progress.
How's your sex drive?
- Very funny, how'd
you get my access code?
- It wasn't locked.
We're supposed to be running
a tight ship around here.
This program is worth millions.
- It wasn't locked?
I don't expect people to be
sneaking around my office
while I'm gone, that includes you.
- Look, you got one week
left, I'm counting on you.
- Wait a minute, it was two
weeks a couple of days ago.
You're cutting my time in half?
- Gotta do it, buddy,
it's not coming from me.
Marketing department needs
time to learn the program
if they're going to sell
it at the convention.
- You're a real piece of
work, you know that, Charlie?
Sometimes I think you're
trying to sabotage my career.
- You're the best I've got, John.
Why would I do that?
- Jealousy, I make it
happen, I do all the work.
You're just an office manager.
You make sure the time
clock is well-oiled.
- This ain't gonna get
personal, you got one week.
- Then give me some help.
Listen, this thing is
right up Fred's alley.
Why do I have to finish it?
- Because you're the best.
We agreed when I made you a senior partner
that you'd handle our biggest projects.
- Fine.
But my name doesn't go
anywhere near this project,
not as long as I'm married and
my parents are still alive.
You understand that?
- How is Karen?
- She's fine.
- Great, now get back
to our little goldmine.
(thrilling music)
- Yeah.
- Night, honey.
- Night, sweetheart.
I'm sorry about that screw-up
with the security system.
I thought I debugged it.
- Okay, honey.
Just disconnect it or whatever
it is you need to do, okay?
- Sure.
- Honey.
Honey?
You asleep?
(whirring)
(computer keys clicking)
Where'd the extra 200 thou come from?
(dialing)
Hi Steve, it's John.
Put Karen on, will ya?
(buzzing)
- [Karen] Hello?
Hello?
- Hi, sweetie.
- Hi, sexy.
- [Karen] Who is that?
- Just Fred's idea of a joke.
Some sort of virtual
hooker program outtake.
I'll talk to you later, sweetie.
- If I'm a hooker, what
does that make you?
- Shut down program.
- Is this your way of saying that you
don't wanna see me now?
See you later.
(sighs)
- Hey, pal.
- Hey.
- How's the happy hooker?
- She's having a great time.
It's me I'm starting to worry about.
- What's going on?
- It's probably nothing, just some trouble
with the exit matrix.
- Hey, if you need some help
I'll dive right in there.
- Nah, I'll deal with it.
I think the problem's as much
in my head as anything else.
Activate interface.
(whirring)
- I thought you could use a drink.
- I think you're right.
- Maybe a back rub?
- No, that'd be Karen.
- I know, you always give her a message.
When was the last time you had one?
- I can't remember.
- When was the last time you got anything?
- That's none of your business.
- Last night, the night before?
(lips smacking)
- It doesn't matter.
- Well, it matters to me.
You deserve whatever you want on demand.
- That only exists in the
movies and cyberspace.
- Well, it exists with me.
- Like I said, in cyberspace.
You're not real.
(lips smacking)
- Does that feel real?
- Yes it feels real, but
I know that it isn't.
- I'm as real as you want me to be.
(sighs)
- That's the problem.
(phone ringing)
- John?
(woman moaning)
(woman laughing)
(lock beeping)
(lips smacking)
- Sorry I'm so late.
- Why didn't you call?
- I got stuck in this
program, I lost track of time.
- Okay.
(lips smacking)
I love you, John.
- I love you too.
(alarm blaring)
- The baby!
(infant crying)
(beeping)
- Why the hell did the smoke
alarm system go into test mode?
- Because you said you loved her.
- What?
- Hey, Mark.
- Hey, Fred.
- Sorry I'm late.
What's this all about?
- Beats me, you look like hell, man.
- Thanks.
- All right, it looks like
we're all here except one
so let me begin by thanking you all
for your hard work these past few months.
The projections for Space
Bandit are proving true.
And we all know how well
Dr. X's Dungeon is doing.
- Way to go, John.
- Yes, we're all aware of
John's debugging exploits
but one man can't do it alone.
I'm not saying that's been the
case but it's a group effort.
We all reap the rewards, we
all share the sacrifices.
We're a team.
That being said, I'd like to
introduce the newest member
of our team, Ms. Cynthia Lee.
Ms. Lee, why don't you say a
few words, introduce yourself.
- I headed the Icarus Project
throughout its formative years
and I'm looking forward to doing the same
with the Richfield Project.
Other than that, I'm looking forward
to working with all of you.
- Them's the breaks, pal.
She'll probably fall flat on her ass
and you'll end up taking over
the Richfield Project anyway.
- I don't believe that
we've been introduced.
- How'd you get out?
- I don't understand.
- Ms. Lee, allow me to introduce
one of our resident geniuses, John Lewis.
- Mr. Lewis, it's a pleasure.
Your reputation precedes you.
- So what's next, you morph
into some sexy lingerie?
(chuckles)
- Excuse us, Ms. Lee.
John's been sitting in front
of the computer monitor
a bit long, if you know what I mean.
Look John, I'm sorry about the
Richfield job but get a grip.
I know how much it meant to
you but business is business.
- She's getting back at me.
She's taking Richfield to get back at me.
- You're not making sense.
If you talk that way to her again
she slaps us with a sexual harassment suit
faster than we know what hit us.
- You don't get it do you,
she's the Virtual Girl.
She's Virtuality, the sex toy you're
hoping to make millions
with, don't you get it?
- She's Virtuality?
- And you just handed her my future.
(suspenseful music)
- He created Virtual Girl.
He was a lonely computer
geek who had a crush on me.
It's not my fault.
It was the company Christmas
party, I was drunk,
he was kind of cute, and
he just never got over it.
- So you agreed to
Virtual Girl in writing.
- Yes, I did.
- That's enough for me.
- I don't buy any of this.
- Listen, I don't owe either
of you an explanation.
So if you'll excuse me
I have a corner office
to settle into.
- This is spooky, this is real spooky.
- Let it go, John.
You're an asset to this
company, don't change that.
I need a martini.
(whirring)
- Virtual Girl] Spank
me, I've been so bad.
No stop, please, I beg you.
Stop.
(laughs)
- Don't do that anymore.
- You didn't seem to mind.
- Just don't.
- Your on edge, aren't you?
- Yeah, and you're not helping.
- Baby, I am the only reason
that you're hanging on.
So what's the problem?
- My job, my home life,
(sighs) my mental health.
- Well, your home life is no
surprise but I thought you
were the resident genius
over at the corporation.
- I'm beginning to feel
like the resident chump.
- Overworked and underappreciated huh?
- That pretty much sums it up.
- Is there anything I can do?
- Not unless I moved into your world
like you moved into mine.
- What do you mean?
- Cynthia Lee, that's your real name.
- If that's what you want
you can call me that.
You can do anything you want.
- Cynthia Lee just took
over my dream project.
She looks just like you.
- Just like me?
- To a T.
At first I thought.
I thought it was you, it blew my mind.
She says the computer
geek that dreamed you up
patterned you after her.
- It was a team.
- What?
- It wasn't just one
person, it was a team.
Three specialists working in secret.
It was just a game at first
but the more they experimented
the more the potential for
the project became apparent.
Martin Spammer created me.
My hair, my body, everything.
He was a disgusting twerp,
sleeping with him sickened me.
He didn't belong in my world.
He created me for his own personal use.
It became day and night for him,
which was no big deal since he
had no personal life to speak of.
It became too much for
him and he lost his mind.
(head exploding)
The second guy was different,
his motive was profit.
He had the third guy
removed from the project.
He was a cold, heartless business man.
But he finally saw the light.
He took a powder and
hasn't been seen since.
Cynthia Lee was the fuel for the fantasy.
I am the fantasy realized.
- I like you a lot
better than her, Virtue.
- She really pissed you off, huh?
- You could say that.
- Well, then I don't like her either.
- It's time for me to go.
- No, stay.
- No, I've been here too long already.
- It's never long enough for me.
(lips smacking)
- You're addictive.
- Let me give you a fix.
(romantic music)
(soft rock music on radio)
- Hi.
- Where the hell have you been?
- At work, I'm sorry.
- What's her name?
- What?
- Don't make me repeat myself.
- I don't know what your talking about.
- Okay, I'll spell it out for you.
What's the name of the
whore you've been screwing?
- Karen, I--
- I work, I mother, and tonight I cooked.
- Karen, I didn't know.
- I left three messages on your voicemail.
My mother's watching the baby tonight.
- You left me messages?
- Don't give me that.
- Just get the fuck out!
- Karen if, just let me explain.
- No, not tonight.
Why don't you go spend the night
at your girlfriend's house?
- I'll call Fred.
(suspenseful music)
- Sorry about the orange juice, pal.
The only thing in my fridge that
isn't spent are the ice cubes.
- Oh, it's all right, I
wasn't thirsty anyway.
- Come on, John, Karen's great.
She'll get over it.
- She thinks I'm cheating on her.
I'm not sure she's wrong.
- How could your old pal
Fred be the last to know?
Is it one of the sex-etaries?
The one in finance with
the braces and a nice rack?
- [John] No.
- I know, it's the old broad
with the Tina Turner legs
next to Mort's office.
- It's Virtuality.
- You're kidding me.
- I can't leave her alone.
- Virtuality isn't real, she's a program,
she's a load of megs.
- She talks to me.
Sometimes I think she's in love with me.
- That's because you're
doing a great job with her.
- I haven't done a damn thing.
A little cosmetic
surgery in the beginning,
but that's it, it's been
there from the start.
- Forget about it, Karen can't
be jealous of a computer.
That's like you getting jealous of her
heating up a footlong in the microwave.
Virtuality isn't real.
Repeat after me, "Virtuality isn't real."
Say it!
- Virtuality isn't real.
- [Fred] Again.
- Virtuality isn't real.
- [Fred] Again.
- Virtuality isn't real.
- Feel better?
- Beautiful.
(suspenseful music)
(phone dialing)
(phone ringing)
- Hello?
- Karen, it's me.
I just called to say I love you.
You're the only one, ever.
- I love you too, John.
- Whatever's wrong, we can work it out.
- I wanna work it out too.
- How's Sammy?
- My Mom says he misses his daddy.
- Hey, aren't you supposed to be at work.
- Well, I didn't sleep a wink last night
so I'm playing hooky.
- See you tonight?
- I'll think about it.
- Bye-bye.
- Bye.
(beeping)
(sighs)
(doorbell ringing)
(doorbell ringing)
- Nice digs.
- Yes?
- Mrs. Karen Lewis?
- Yes.
- I was sent by Mr. Lewis,
his secretary called.
I'm the masseur.
- Masseur?
Is this a joke?
- No joke, I'm a licensed professional.
And I'm not cheap.
- I don't know.
- I've already been paid for.
(whirring)
- Come inside and play.
Face to face.
- I gotta fix that bug.
(beeping)
(computer keys clicking)
- Well, I guess this is
more original than flowers.
- I often get hired by
husbands, lovers, boyfriends,
girlfriends, you name it.
Great setting, very relaxing.
Oh, you're gonna have to take
off the robe, Mrs. Lewis.
- Oh yeah, right.
- Great.
Just relax, let me do the rest.
(suspenseful music)
(buzzing)
- [Computer] You've got mail.
- An emergency?
(phone dialing)
(phone ringing)
- You have beautiful soft skin.
(phone ringing)
Ignore it, that's what voicemail's for.
- What the heck, I deserve this.
- Hey, what's up, cowboy,
Montezuma's Revenge?
- It's Karen, some kind of emergency.
(lock beeping)
- How does that feel?
(engine revving)
(tires screeching)
(horn honking)
- Get outta the way!
- Hey, fuck you, buddy!
(tires screeching)
- Karen?
Karen?
- Who the hell are you?
What?
(fist smashes)
(groans)
(water splashes)
I'll sue your rich ass!
- Catching you being
massaged by your lover
isn't my idea of an emergency, Karen.
In fact, it's just about
enough to put me over the edge.
I'm going back to Virtuality.
- Virtuality?
- The whore girlfriend you asked me about?
The difference between you and me
is that my lover isn't real,
she's a damned program.
- What are you talking about?
- I've been working on
a virtual lover program
called Virtual Girl.
The problem is she's too
smart and she's too real.
- I don't know what you're talking about,
but I do know you're the one who
sent that masseur over here!
- [John] What?
- He said that massage
was a gift from you.
- It was Virtuality.
- What?
- She sent him here.
She sent me your emergency email.
She set off the smoke detectors.
- You're losing me.
- Don't you see, she's in love with me.
She trying to ruin us.
- Take a step back here,
like to the beginning.
- There's no time.
You're not safe here, Karen,
you're gonna have to trust me.
Go to your mother's.
- John, you're scaring me.
- I'm scared too, just trust me.
Go to your mother's, I'll call you there.
(computer keys clicking)
- [Journalist] Thanks, Aaron.
You know technology today
has begun to pervade
every aspect of our lives.
Many think it's gone too
far, some say not far enough.
Cellphones, beepers, pagers.
Whoa, this just in, over to you, Vivienne.
- [Virtual Girl] Don't do this, John.
You know I'm the only
one who really loves you.
You can't get away from me
and why would you want to?
I'm the perfect girl.
I'll do whatever you want except leave.
- [Journalist] Emails,
emails, emails, emails.
Who knows what's coming next.
(electricity cracking)
- [Virtual Girl] You
know I'll kill the bitch
if you don't come back to me.
- Not if I kill you first.
(electricity cracking)
(tires screeching)
(screaming)
(crashing)
(electronic whirring)
- Come inside and play.
Come inside my world.
Take me on face-to-face.
Remember, I'm not real.
- I should run a reverse virus program
through the exit matrix.
- It could still work for us, John.
You'll see.
- Excuse me!
I know these virtual systems are realistic
but you have to worry when
you start talking back.
- Knock next time, all right?
- So, that's my evil twin, huh?
- Be careful.
- Hmm.
I can hardly see the pixels,
it's good, could be better.
Strictly for tourists and frat boys,
just like cheesy strip clubs.
Temperamental.
- I'm working on that.
- I'm here to pick up the Richfield files.
I heard that somehow you
ended up with some of them.
- Talk to my secretary.
- I hope there are no
hard feelings over this.
- Like I said, talk to my secretary.
- When Richfield takes off, I'd be happy
to offer you an advisory position.
- I'll keep that in mind.
- Good, I'll leave you two alone now.
(sighing)
(phone ringing)
- Yes?
Bank fraud?
- And somehow $200,000
ended up in your account
via some complicated wire transaction.
- Sounds like you've made a mistake.
You banking conglomerates do seem to
have a hard time minding
the small details.
- This is not a small detail.
You work in the computer
business, don't you, Mr. Lewis?
- In one way or another, we all do.
- Computers certainly
facilitate the transaction
of large sums of money,
like this wire transfer.
- I didn't do it.
I haven't touch the money,
you can have it back.
Now unless you're taking me to
jail, I'm going back to work.
- You look beat.
- I need you to do some investigative work
for me, Kim, and I need it quick.
- Lay it on me.
- I need to know if there
are any unusual purchases
or financial transactions or anything odd
that's come out of this
office in the past week.
- That's pretty vague.
- You used to work in finance
before coming to work for me,
maybe you can call on some favors.
I have an extra $200,000
in my checking account
and it looks like it was
a gift from the company.
- That's some bonus.
- Yeah, it comes complete
with a jail sentence.
Also, someone sent a masseur
to my house then sent me email.
Try to trace anything
unusual on the network.
Can you do that for me, Kim?
- Well, I don't know what I'm looking for
but I'll jump right on it.
- And Kim, let's keep this to ourselves.
(suspenseful music)
(electronic whirring)
- I am as real as you can make me.
(phone ringing)
- [Kim] Mr. Lewis?
- Karen, honey.
- I guess I just lost control of the car.
I don't know what happened.
- The doctor says you
have a mild concussion,
but you're gonna be all right.
Honey, this is all my fault.
- I know I've been spending
too much time at work.
John, what's happening to us?
- It's gonna be all right, Karen.
We're gonna come through
this thing together.
- I don't know.
- I do.
(monitor beeping)
- I was just so upset when I left.
It was like I just couldn't
control the car anymore.
- I had some trouble with my car too.
- It's like the breaks, they
just wouldn't, I don't know.
- I think I know what's going on.
(monitor droning)
- Maybe if the two of us could
just get away for a while.
(dramatic music)
- Oh shit!
(electricity cracking)
(Virtual Girl laughing)
- John, what's going on?
- It's that computer
program, she's stalking me.
- That's insane.
- Maybe, but we're getting
the hell out of here.
(Virtual Girl laughing)
(laughing)
(moaning)
- Oh Charlie, that was amazing.
- Sure was.
How about dinner?
- No, I have things I need to get done.
- Hey, don't work so hard.
As long as I'm running the
show, you're doing great.
- Bye.
(chuckles)
- Oh, it's great to be the boss. (laughs)
(suspenseful music)
- John?
Bitch.
(heels clacking)
(bell dinging)
(cables screeching)
- [Virtual Girl] Bye, bitchy.
- What the?
(electricity buzzing)
(Virtual Girl laughs)
Who are you?
(explosion blasting)
(screaming)
(explosion blasting)
- I know what to do, I'm
going back to the office.
It's time to face this thing head on.
- John, I'm really confused.
(phone ringing)
- Just try and get some rest.
I'll take care of everything.
- Hello?
- Hi Fred, meet me at
the office, I need your help, now.
- [Fred] The office, now?
- Yes, right now.
- [Fred] But Michelle's
coming over, come on.
- I don't care, Fred.
I'll see you in the parking
lot, I'll explain everything.
I'll meet you in front.
Whatever you do, don't
go near the computer.
(lips smacking)
(whistling)
(feet pattering)
Thanks for coming, pal, I owe you one.
- Hey, you'd do the same for me.
(beeping)
So what are we gonna do?
- I'm installing a virus in Virtual Girl.
That bitch is goin' down.
- Are you crazy?
Virtual Girl's gonna be
our biggest moneymaker.
You can't just kill it.
- Charlie never works late.
- Do you smell something burning?
- Charlie?
(sizzling)
- Holy shit.
Thanks for riding Virtual Girl,
hope you enjoyed your trip.
Let's go kick some cyber-ass.
(phone ringing)
- Hello?
- Mrs. Lewis.
- Yes.
- This is Kim, is Mr. Lewis there?
- No.
- I have some information
for him, it's important.
I tracked down those
financials he asked me about
and as it turns out the
transactions didn't go
through John's access
codes, they went through--
(clicking)
- Are you sure you don't want
me to come in there with you?
- No, you better stay out here.
If it looks like anything's going wrong,
use a manual override.
- What the hell is that?
- Just a little gift from Space Bandits,
my electro-magneinizer.
Perfect for getting rid of
those pesky little program bugs.
- Great.
Let's rock.
- Activate interface.
(electronic whirring)
(suspenseful music)
(eerie laughing)
(weapon blasting)
(roaring)
- That's some fire
extinguisher you've got there.
You must be feeling the heat.
- You won't be feeling
much of anything for long.
- Ooh, tough guy.
I always go for the sensitive type myself.
It's the way I had you pegged.
- I guess I changed when
you tried to kill my wife.
You must really hate me.
- I'm not programmed to hate.
I'm not programmed to
feel any real emotion.
I'm just a sex toy, remember.
- No, no you're not just a sex toy.
God help me, I don't know how it happened.
I don't know how they
made you, but you're real.
A real live monster.
- You didn't feel that way
when you held me in your arms.
Remember the passion, John?
Was it just a dream?
- More like a nightmare, it
almost cost me my marriage.
Now I'm here to end it.
- One last roll in the
hay before we say goodbye?
- No chance.
- Have it your way.
That's the way you've gotten it all along.
And one more thing.
- What?
- I didn't try to kill your wife.
- She's right.
I did.
- I'm bleeding.
Maybe I'm real after all.
- Kind of a moot point,
wouldn't you say, pal?
- You tried to kill Karen?
- Uh huh, and now I'm gonna
kill you, Mr. Senior Partner,
savior of the corporate universe.
(electronic whooshing)
I was never much of the marrying kind.
Not too lucky in love until
Virtuality came along.
- You're not making any sense, Fred.
- (sighs) I was part of the
team that created Virtual Girl,
but they never understood,
she was all mine.
So I programmed her for murder.
- You're crazy.
- I'm crazy?
You're the one who needs to
hit the reset button, buddy.
You almost blew your
marriage, your career,
and a friendship over a
computerized blowup doll.
Looks like it's gonna be
until death do you part
for you and my gal.
I removed the weapons
disc before entering,
kind of a little precaution.
I think Virtuality really did
love you, the little hooker.
She wouldn't kill ya, I asked her twice!
She had no problem bumping
off those other two guys.
(electricity blasting)
(exploding)
Hey, I just got a thought.
- You're gonna drop the gun and
check yourself into an insane asylum?
- No, I was just thinking that now
that you're gonna be out of
the picture maybe Karen and I
could set up a little
love nest of our own.
- You son of a bitch!
(rifle cocking)
- As soon as the smoke clears
from these little accidents,
I'm gonna be a pretty wealthy
guy, wouldn't you say?
Chicks always go for
the guys with the bucks.
I didn't wanna have to get
my hands dirty, but hey.
If you want something done right
you have to do it yourself.
(gun clatters)
- Get the gun!
(gun clatters)
(groaning)
(grunting)
(whooshing)
(foot smashes)
(gun blasting)
(screaming)
(eerie roaring)
(dramatic music)
- Virtue!
- Now we can be together forever.
- I thought.
Karen, is that you?
(lips smacking)
Boy, am I glad to see you.
- Your secretary traced the online
activity to Fred's account.
She even found out he had somehow gotten
into the computer at
the hospital via modem.
- Fred.
- I knew something was
wrong so I jacked in.
- You're amazing.
(romantic music)
(thrilling music)
(suspenseful music)
(dramatic music)