Vidar the Vampire (2017) - full transcript

At this stage, no one
really knows who or what

is responsible for this
gruesome incident.

Several animals have been slain in what
could be described as an occult ritual.

There is no explaining how
these animals were drained

of blood without significant
cuts or injuries.

I'm here with Vidar Hårr who
is in charge of this farm, -

- and Vidar, you awoke
to this nightmare.

Who do you think is responsible?

This is the Devil's work, and
he is not welcome on our farm.

If he returns, I'm gonna pump him
full of lead with this shotgun.

In the name of Jesus.



It's not easy to get to the
bottom of this, ehh...

The circumstances
are quite absurd.

At this stage, we have yet to
acquire any serious information.

What do you mean by "serious"?

Ehh...

Seriously!

I woke up in the middle
of a pentagram, -

- turned my head to the
right, and behold...

a sheep.

Then, I turned my head to
the left, and behold...

yet another sheep.

They were both dead.

What went through your mind?

Are these our sheep?



Don't eat the microphone!

Were they your sheep?

They were.

'Every Sunday members of 'The
Children of Creation', -'

- an extremely conservative Christian
congregation, gather for worship.

Today, they are preparing an attack against
the evil that has struck their community.

'We will pray strenuously
for the Hårrs.'

Through prayer we will build a divine
fence around their farmstead, -

- on top of blessing
the livestock.

'We hope these measures will deflect
any further satanic attacks.

'And they will. Jesus
is on our side.'

Vidar, why are we watching this?

I just wanted to prepare you.

Prepare me?

Yeah. This story won't
make any fucking sense.

Why would you say that?

'Cause I'm not right in
the head, that's why.

I no longer know what's up or
down; what's right or wrong.

When am I dreaming?
What's reality?

I've lost my fucking marbles!

That's Why I'm here, right?

To see if you can help me
out, straighten my head, -

- fix me, if at all possible.

Nothing is impossible.

The best way to go about this would
be for you to tell your story, -

- and together we can work out whether
or not this story makes any sense.

Does that make sense?

Fine. Where do we start?

From the beginning
is usually best.

From the very beginning?

Where I was born, grew
up, that sort of stuff?

Or shall we begin when I
was born into darkness...

Start wherever you like, Vidar.

Very well.

Okay.

It was an ordinary day...

and as usual it started
at the break of dawn.

You should know, I've never
been a morning person, -

'- and I never will be.

'But as a farmer you
have no choice.

'There's too much
shit to be done.'

Shut the fuck up!

Free time is drinking time.

And drinking time is angst time.

And angst time, yeah,
that's my time.

So, my time is best
without free time.

Slow and steady wins the race!

Work time is a dull time.

And a dull time is a grave time.

And a grave time, yeah,
that's my time B.

So, my time is best
without work time.

Night time is a good time B.

And a good time is free time.

Yeah, free time, yeah,
that's my time.

Yet, my time is best
without free time.

Why weren't you in church?

I had to work. Mom's
not feeling well.

Thou shalt keep
the Sabbath holy.

Thou shalt SHUT YOUR FACE!

What do you want?

Karin wants to ask
you something.

Then I will ask.

Would you like to go...
steady with Karin?

I thought you were going
steady with Jonas.

They broke up. She wants
to be with you now.

For real?

Do you want to go steady or not?

I don't really know.

Don't you want to?

Sure, I guess I do.

Say yes, then.

Very well.

Come join us outside.

Okay.

God, I'm bound for the meadows.

B To drown all of my sorrows.

Dirty water will
swallow me whole.

And in silence I will go down

n I have to go,
please understand

n I need get there
as soon as I can.

All my hardships are overcome

41 The gates of heaven
are open to me D

n 80, if you see me
hop-skipping away.

Singing all to myself.

Tell my mom I attempted to give

n A legacy to my son.

God, I'm bound for the meadows.

B To drown all of my sorrows.

Dirty water will
swallow me whole.

And in silence I will go down.

Did you really think Karin
wanted to go steady with you?

You will never get a girlfriend.

Fucking farmer!

Stop crying!

Run home to your mama!

Oh, Lord!

I dare not wait any longer.

While Jesus is still by my side

n The pearly gates
will be open to me.

Although some folks
will disagree.

God, I'm bound for the meadows.

B To drown all of my sorrows.

Dirty water will
swallow me whole.

And in silence I will go down.

'Vidar, is that you?'

Yes.

'Who rang the doorbell earlier?'

Some kids from church.

'What'd they want?'

Nothing.

'Could you get me a
glass of water?'

What's that?

Water.

Did you close the tap?

Mmhm.

Turn on the cooling?

Yes.

Tuck in the pigs?

I've taken care of everything.

You're a good boy, Vidar.

Remember your bedtime prayers.

YES.

'If you truly exist...

'If you can hear my prayers, -'

- you have to wake me from
this fucking nightmare!

I can't take this anymore.

I hate my life!

I'm 33 years old, god damnit, and
I still live at home with my mom.

I want out!

All I ever do is work.

I want to live freely.

I want to drink, fuck and fight!

I want to taste a variety of
women in their twenties and up.

Twenty plus.

Amen.

Come.

'Ask and it will
be given to you; -

'- seek and you will find.'

Who turned on the
fucking lights?

'I did.'

Who am I?

'I am the Alpha and the Omega,
the First and the Last.

'I am the Living One; I was dead, and
now look, I am alive forever and ever!'

I can't see shit.

'Fear ye not! Soon you will see
the world through brand new eyes.

'He who has Christ in
him is a new creature:

'Old things are passed away;
all things are become new.

'I have come into the
world as a light; -

'- that you may have life,
and have it to the full.'

Do you accept Jesus Christ
as your Lord and Savior?

Lord, save me!

This is my body.

Open wide...

and eat!

Whoever eats my flesh and drinks
my blood remains in me, -

- and I remain in them.

I'm sorry. Let me see
if I got this straight.

What you're telling
me is that...

you accepted Jesus?

I accepted the body of Christ;
I became one with Jesus.

And, Jesus himself was there?

In person, -

- violated you orally, -

- before offering his blood.
The blood of the covenant...

to you?

And this took place
in your mom's barn?

Yes.

That's right.

Yeah... I'm a little hesitant
to ask what happened next -

- after you... accepted Jesus.

I got sick.

Okay?

'I tried everything:

Traditional medicine,
modern medicine, -

'- strong medicine,
herbal medicine.'

I tried physical therapy,
light therapy, homeopathy.

I tried healing.

I tried everything.

Nothing worked.

'I fell deeper and
deeper into darkness.

'Slouched around indoors
like a fucking sloth.“

Had to hire a contract
worker to maintain the farm.

'In the end I was so weak; I
could barely stand up straight.'

Luckily, my mom
came to the rescue.

'She knew the way to salvation.'

'My dear fellowship...'

'..a most wonderful
Sunday to you all.'

I must confess, my heart is filled
with joy by today's great attendance.

But, I guess that is to be expected as we
are graced by the presence of celebrity.

Our guest has traveled, by train,
all the way from Kristiansand -

- in order to help brother Vidar,
who's struggling with health issues.

Hallelujah.

A most heartfelt welcome
to Tor Magne Abrahamsen.

Hallelujah!

Hallelujah!

Thank you very much.

God bless you, Tor Magne!

Right back at you!

Hallelujah.

HALLELUJAH!

My thanks to 'The
Children of Creation' -

- for this wonderful opportunity to
practice God's almighty medicine.

Right, as you can see, the offering
bag is being passed around.

Salvation, unfortunately,
doesn't come free.

Notes are better than coins.

Hallelujah.

Hallelujah.

Yeah. All jokes aside.

Shall we pray to God above...?

Yeah.

To help, -

- and to heal...

Vidar's corrupted soul.

Yeah!

Shall we pray to God?!

'YEAH!'

Then, let's do this.

Dear Jesus...

Dear Jesus.

Lord Jesus.

Jesus, -

- may your power -

- penetrate...

Vidar's corrupted soul.

Hallelujah.

Hallelujah!

I claim authority
over all suffering:

Borreliosis, -

- AIDS, -

- all forms of cancer, -

- all heart disease, -

- porphyria, -

- fibromyalgia, -

- homophilia...

all suffering!

Yeah, hallelujah!

- YEAH, HALLELUJAH!
- Hallelujah!

CHASE THE DEVIL OUT OF HIS BODY!

HALLELUJAH!

YEAH, OUT! OUT OF HIS BODY!

Out of his body. Hallelujah!

Yes.

Yes.

I have Jesus on the line.

Oh... Oh, hallelujah!

It's Tor Magne, Jesus.
Speak to me, speak to me.

Yes.

He says:

"“I am the light of the World."

Jesus.

“He who walks in the light shall
not fall into darkness, -

- but follow me.“

Jesus.

'It's obvious.

Jesus is the light!

YEAH!

Cast the Devil out!

Out! Out! Out!

Let Jesus take the wheel, Vidar!

Yeah!

Yeah! Hallelujah!

Seize the day. Bathe
in heavenly light.

Amen.

Amen.

Jesus... Jesus...

Your soul shall be cleansed.

Cast away the shadow
of The Beast.

HOLY HEEEEEEEEE...

So, you wear this suit
on a daily basis?

Ehh, no. I usually
sleep during the day.

I don't always wear... this.

Because you're
allergic to sunlight?

Something like that.

So, let's imagine...

You leave here today
without wearing your suit.

What would happen?

Then it all goes
straight to hell.

How so?

I get severely sunburnt.

ARE WE THERE YET?!?

Vidar?

Vidar'?!

Help! Help!

“Until we meet again, Vidar...

Today is a sad day.

Our congregation has lost
a most beloved child.

A mother has lost her
one and only son.

A good son and an even
better Christian.

An unselfish,
hard-working farmer -

- who sacrificed blood and sweat in
order to cultivate God's pastures.

He nurtured God's creations.

He provided for his family.

He took care of the
ones he loved.

Dear Vidar, you have without a doubt
earned a place in the Kingdom of Heaven.

What a friend we have in Jesus.

All our sins and griefs to bear.

What a privilege to carry.

Everything to God in prayer.

From the earth you have come.

Back to the earth you shall go.

From the earth you
will rise again.

"Our Lord, Jesus Christ says: “I
am the resurrection and the life."

"The one who believes in me will
live, even though they die.“"

Run home to your mama!

I drive a car.

This is my steed

n I drive around and about.

At cruising speed

41 My senses are sharpened 41

n I have no cargo.

Drifting through Jaeren.

My steed goes where
the wind blows

n I'm “m the zone 41

I'm all alone.

MOM!

LET ME IN!

MOM!??

WHY IS THE DOOR LOCKED?!

MOOOM!!'??

MOM!!!

Didn't you hear me?

What's with the shotgun?

AWAY FROM ME, SATAN!

'Drink and drain it dry, my son.

'You must retain
tendon strength.

'Whoever serves me
must follow me...

'- and our throne shall
be in the city.'

'How long have you
lived in Stavanger?'

Long enough.

It doesn't sound like
you're thriving.

It was cool when I
first got here.

Everything was new and exciting.

Lots of people - lots of noise.

But I've tasted all this city has to offer
and I simply can't stomach it anymore.

I can't!

So, Why don't you move back?

Why don't I move back?

"“A prophet has no honor in his own
town, nor in his own house..."

and in my case: anywhere.

You used the word "to taste".

To taste?

Yes, you said: 'I've tasted
all this city has to offer.”

What do you mean by that?

That should be pretty
self-explanatory...

You're going to taste
a variety of women...

- in their twenties and up.

I am?

Yes! Twenty plus.

For real?

Yes, for real.

What else do you want
me to do, Vidar?

Do I need to walk on water?

I've raised you from
the dead, god damnit!

Two fucking times already.

That alone should give
you a massive hard-on,

but you're just sitting
there like a limp dick.

You're a frightened little lamb.

You've choked your natural
instincts for 20 fucking years!

What the fuck!?

It's totally insane.

We can't go on like this.

No-

It's about time you started
worshiping the pleasures

of life, instead of
practicing abstinence.

Fuck abstinence.

We are all animals, Vidar.

I'm an animal.

You are also an animal, and
the pastures are out there.

Could you do me a favor?

What?

Grow some balls and go
through the wide gate.

'I have drunk the wine of wrath
from Babylon's fornication.

'I have sullied myself with
snakes, rats, and whores.

'I'm so fucking dirty
that I'll never get rid

of the stench, no matter
how many times I wash.

'I've walked through the gate
that leads to destruction.

'There is no turning back.

'I can only move forward.'

Vidar.

Vidar!

Vidar.

Listen!

Yes?

He Who welcomes me
welcomes you...

- and he who welcomes you welcomes...
ehh, wait a sec...

He who welcomes me...

- ehh, no homo, welcomes
the one who sent you...

- and the one who sent you...

Ah, fuck that... look!

Never mind... forget about it.

Take this, get in there and
tell her the Lord has sent you.

Understood? You ready?

Eh, thanks.

You're welcome.

KNOCK...!

And the door will
be opened to you.

The Lord has sent me.

Jesus fucking Christ...

Come in.

'He had a fucking harem
filled with high class

hookers, or harlots as
he referred to them...'

- and technically speaking, it
was a hotel room, not a harem.

'I only say this because
every time I came

knocking I was greeted
by a new piece of meat.

'But all the flesh was covered
by the same disguise.'

It was hard to tell them all apart.
If you know what I'm saying?

Have we met before?

Maybe in your dreams?

Where would you like to bite me?

Right between the legs.

Yes...

Yes.

Vidar, I would like to try
something, if that's ok with you?

What?

I want to show you a
series of abstract images.

All you have to do is
tell me what you see.

I don't see any harm in that.

But before I get
them, I need to ask.

I hope it's ok...

Well?

How was it?

It was totally nuts.

I've never experienced
anything like it.

She was...

She was downright dark as night.

Dark as night.

Where I'm from...

Small town...

There's not a single
black person.

Not one.

However, I heard that in
the next town over...

'They' walk to the
train station...

but then 'they' ride bikes home.

This one won't remember
much come morning.

Let's get out of here. I can't
stand this fucking China-music.

What about me?

No, no, no.

I was looking forward to this.

Calm yourself!

There are certain rules
we must adhere to.

First and foremost:

Without blood, you
have no life in you.

Right.

But that doesn't justify
getting shit-faced.

Stop consuming before it affects the heart.
Now, that's a good rule of thumb.

Right.

Secondly...

Regarding vintage,
you should be aware:

Anything past 30
tastes fucking awful.

- Are you following me?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And thirdly...

You know this one:

Be kind to those who deserve it.

Don't waste love
on the unworthy.

Cruising for pussycat.

Here, kitty, kitty.

Come with me to Paradise City.

On the terrace, rolling
up that diggy.

Call me Big Popa,
put on some Biggie

41 Yeah, crank up that bass 41

41 Me and my homes are
down for the chase 41.

City chicks make
them boys go crazy.

Wicked smile, wicked style.

Oh, baby, baby.

Cobblestone music
from alleyways.

Stavanger, many
colours she displays

41 My city has many
flavours, that we savour 41

41 On never-ending
summer days 41.

And the evenings are merry.

With a case of Corona and
a mouthful of cherries.

Feet swinging from the docks.

Waiting for that take-out
that simply rocks.

Come with me down
to Paradise City.

Where the grass is green
and the women are pretty

Nike Air, Dickies,
start to get jiggy

41 Come with me down
to Bunny Town 41.

Come with me down to Paradise...

and stay the fuck out!

Oh, Vidar. Keep at it!

This is good shit!

Techno, Vidar,
wasn't available BC.

Can you feel it?

Can you feel it in your johnson?

Are you psyched!?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

CAN YOU FEEL IT?!

Yes, yes! Watch
where you're going!

I am watching!

I am the way, and the truth,
and the lifeeeeeeeeee...

n This love can
never see the sun.

Only lives in the
dark by the moonlight

n This love's a
locked up loaded gun

n 80 wrong, so wrong,
but it's so right.

And in the night we'll never die

n This love, this
love is a vampire.

'Goddamnit'

Women suck!

'What did you say?'

I said, you are very pretty.

Thank you.

How old are you?

Twenty-one.

Oohh!

Twenty plus.

Yeeeaaah.

Yeah.

What are you doing later?

I'm going home...

alone.

Oh-

Why are you being cranky?

Hello?

Why are you being cranky?

You should answer when
asked a question.

Why are you being...

Now, witness something
truly amazing!

Finally, you're back.

Blessed is he who comes
in the name of the Lord.

I've filled this glass
with water, right?

Does anyone want water?

No!

That's What I thought.

Watch this!

I will display my splendor.

Alright...

Make it so.

BOOM!

Is that wine?

It's Wine.

Is that wine?!

It's Wine.

Is that wine?!?

Of course it's wine.

Seriously!'?

Give it a taste.

You're kidding?

Not at all. Taste!

It's Wine!

It's wine. It really is wine.

'Vidar?'

'How did you..'

'Vidar!?'

'What do you see?“

Beaver.

Bat.

Mmm... beaver?

Bat.

Bat?

No, wait!

Beaver...

Definitely beaver.

The fuck you looking at?

Nothing.

Hanging out?

Don't even bother.

What?

Don't bother!

I have a boyfriend, ok.

Yeah, ok.

Where is he, then?

The fuck if I know?!

So he...

He just left you here?

He'll be here soon, 0k.

Yeah, ok...

And in the meantime you're
sitting here eating a burger?

- Yeah.
- ..all by yourself?

I'll tell you, if I
were your boyfriend...

You would never be my boyfriend!

Why would you say that?

“Why would you say that?”

Jesus, look at yourself.

Eww, you're disgusting.

Nasty face and...

Wearing farm overalls
on a night out?

It's the middle of winter.

Aren't you cold
wearing no pants?

That was uncalled-for.

What?

That was totally uncalled-for!

What?!

I won't tolerate this.

Can't I wear whatever I
please without worrying

about dirty old pigs like
you staring at my pussy?

I wasn't staring at your pussy.

Yes, you were staring
at my pussy.

No, I wasn't. - Yes, you were!

You were staring at my pussy
when I was sitting right there.

I saw you.

No, I did not.

Yes.

You stared right at my pussy!

No, I didn't stare
at your pussy.

You sat there...

and I sat there.

And you were staring, -

- with those eyes, right at my pussy.
- No, no... I did not.

- You stared at my pussy!
- I did not stare at your pussy.

Yes, you did!

- Yes, you did!
- I did not.

YOU STARED AT MY PUSSY!

I DIDN'T STARE AT...

STOP LYING!

Be kind to those who deserve it.

Be kind to those who deserve it.

'What?

'Yeah, but you said you were
meeting me in the city square.'

So, Where are you now?!

After-party!??

What?

Well, can't I just
meet you there?

Hello!?

'Sorry, baby! I know I'm late.

'Fucking Odvard and his Minttu.'

You asleep?

Hey, babe?

Sunshine?

'Hey!

'Wait!

'Come back here!“

You wanna check out my pussy?

No!

No.. no, no, no!

'Where are you going?'

No.

No, please...

'Here you go.

'Yum, yum!'

The blood is the life, Vidar!

The blood is the life!

"'It takes courage to stand up and
say: “Yes, I have a problem."

'Yet, it requires divine strength
to keep this problem in check.

'We have admitted to ourselves
that we suffer from addiction.

'We are powerless over
The Devil's juice.'

But we have made a choice.

We chose to believe in something
greater than ourselves.

A power than can help us
return to our senses.

We have agreed to put our will and
our lives in the hands of the Lord.

We have a new member
among us tonight.

A lost soul who has
found the strength and

courage to stand up and
proclaim his troubles.

Would you care to share
your story with us?

Do I have to stand up?

Nope, you do as you please.

Then I will remain seated.

Yes, then you remain seated.
That's great.

OK-

Hi, I'm...

My name is Vidar.

Hi, Vidar!

So...

To be perfectly honest, I really
don't know what I'm doing here.

I'm not technically
an alcoholic.

But, uh...

I drink...

I mean, I drank...
a little too much.

I've been sober...

about a week now.

That's great! That's
great, Vidar!

There's no need for applause.

This is how it starts.

I'm gonna burst soon.

No... you have to
be strong, Vidar.

Be strong!

Let Jesus take the wheel.

Let Jesus take the wheel? - Yes.

You know what?

That is without a doubt the
biggest mistake of my life:

Letting Jesus take the wheel.

Trust me.

I know the Savior on
a personal level.

He's sitting right there!

Right there.

Hey hey!

That guy.

Yeah...

Pay him no attention.

This is not his story.

Actually, it's about him too.

My point is:

Jesus is not the way
out of this mess.

He is temptation itself.

I'm truly starting to wonder.

Are Jesus and Lucifer
one and the same?

Huh?

No-

Just think about it!

Both were cast out of heaven
by their father, right?

Right.

Both gathered huge
flocks of sheep, -

- incapable of rational thought.

Dependent on others to take
control, like you said.

Yes?

Yes!

The Devil encourages us to sin.

He does.

Jesus fraternizes with whores!

He turns water into
wine, god damnit!

He's the biggest
alcoholic among us!

Thank you, Vidar.

No! No, listen!

Thank you, Vidar!

That was great.

I drink blood.

I drink blood.

Yeah, that's great.

I drink blood.

That's great, Vidar.

VIDAR!

Shhh.

Right.

Anyone else care to share?

'No matter what I do, I
always fall off the wagon.

'The longer I refrain from drinking,
the more I lose my mind.'

I can't control myself.

I turn into a monster.

What if I could wake this morn'

Without feeling sad and blue

n In a healthy body born

n One that functions
without you.

Oh, how nice

41 Oh, What fun 41.

Oh, the things I would've done.

B What if I could hit the town.

Talked to folks 'bout
this and that J.

A faithful steward to His crown.

Laid to rest my sinful past.

Oh, how nice

41 Oh, What fun 41.

Oh, the things I would've done.

Guess I'll have to settle down

n I am who I am at best.

Give it time and it will grow

n I hope that I'm
myself no less.

Oh, how nice

41 Oh, What fun 41.

Oh, the things I would've done.

Just to be normal.

Vidar?

Is that you?

Damn right, that's you.

I didn't recognize you
with that insane mustache.

I seriously thought
you were dead.

Nahh...

You about to do some drilling
in the 'meat tunnel'?

I only eat meat.

You and I both, Vidar.

Come join me for a beer.

We can reminisce about
the good old days.

The whore needs a
break anyway, Vidar.

I fucked her so hard the
walls were shaking.

She started crying, Vidar.

Tears of joy.

Tears of pure joy.

Could it be that this
uncontrollable desire...

- this obsessive hunt for
short-lived happiness...

is your way of eluding
your true problems?

Wait, I'm not following?

Addiction can be someone's
attempt to avoid

an emotional problem by
removing the emotion.

Thus, avoiding to deal with
the underlying problem.

Which is?

Let me give you an example:

Humans eat in order
to survive, right?

Sure.

But if you eat lots of chocolate
because you're feeling sad, -

- or because you're bored...

- you're essentially
fooling the part of the

brain that provides the
sensation of happiness.

However, the moment this
feeling subsides...

the sadness returns.

You'll never rid yourself
of your problems this way.

So, What you're saying is...

The reason I'm out drinking
every night is because...

deep inside, I'm feeling sad?

Vidar, may I be blunt with you?

I think your problem
exclusively concerns...

young, tight pussy, Vidar!

Pattaya, Vidar.

Pattaya.

Oh my God, Pattaya.

If you've never been, you need to get
your ass on the very first flight.

You will drown in pussy, Vidar.

But those days are gone.

Nowadays my ass is
stuck at home, -

- with four shitty kids and a wife
that barely touches me anymore.

What about you, Vidar?

Are you married?

That's What I thought.

You will never get a
girlfriend, Vidar.

You will never get a girlfriend.

When he comes at you with his left
hook, you turn the other cheek?

Who the fuck taught you that?!

You have to strike
back, god damnit!

You thirst for vengeance!

You thirst for blood!

You're an animal,
Vidar, you hear me?

You're a fucking beast!

Here you go!

Now get your shit together, and
beat the crap outta that brat!

'Use your teeth!'

Use your teeth!!

USE YOUR TEETH!

'There's no arguing, that
dickhead deserved to die.'

I deserve to die.

For real this time!

Without being resurrected,
and resurrected, -

- and resurrected,
and resurrected, and

ressurected, and resurrected,
and resurrected!

What's the point of
living like this?

Huh?

I devour anything in my path.

It's pure gluttony.

MnyeethyeehMNYEEH!

A fucking mess!

I only think of myself
and that's your fault!

My fault?!

Yes, your fault.

You're a terrible role model.

Terrible!

You bring out the worst in me.

You make me commit all
sorts of horrible acts, -

- without considering
the consequences.

With no concern for those
touched by these acts.

Quite literally:

The ones I'm molesting!

I can't take this anymore!

I'm tearing apart my
soul, piece by piece.

I've given you
everything you wanted...

and still you're whining?!

Yeah, yeah, thank you!

Thank you very much!

This isn't exactly
what I envisioned.

Then, What did you envision?

The fuck if I know?!

Anything but this?!

I think we need to take a break.

Then we take a break.

I'll sleep in the car, and we'll
talk once you've calmed down.

I'll make us breakfast
tomorrow and...

No! No, no...

YES!

No, I'm talking about
a longer break.

How long?

I have no idea, -

- but if life truly is eternal,
it should be really fucking long.

Use your fucking head!

You'll never manage without me!

NEVER”

I don't believe you.

You did not just say that??

Are you disowning me?

What?

You said you don't believe in me.
Are you disowning me?

I don't know this man.

I don't know him!

Why should I believe in you?

How can you say such a thing?

You've known me all your life.

I thought I knew you.

I did.

I thought you were a nice guy!?

How could I be so wrong?

How the fuck could
I be so wrong?!

I'm no longer your companion.

I don't want your dirty money.

'Freely you have received, and
freely you will give it away.'

What the fuck does that mean?!

You and your hopeless parables!

Fucking unintelligible!

Ok, now I'm completely lost.

Where did Jesus go?

You ask me, I ask you.

I don't talk to him anymore.

Now, that's an unexpected
step in the right direction.

So you don't hear voices anymore?
No one is telling you what to do?

Not a single soul.

I'm all alone now.

That's fantastic.

Hello.

Hi.

You wanna buy?

Flower?

No, thank you.

Please.

Girlfriend. Please?

I don't have a girlfriend.

Please?

I don't want a flower.

- Who the fuck am I gonna give a flower to?
- Beautiful flower... please.

I don't have a girlfriend
to give any flowers.

What the fuck am I
to do with a flower?

Please. - Please, move along.

I don't need any flowers.

I don't want any flowers.

No flower.

No flower!

Hey, wait a second!

Wait!

Let me guess:

The Lord sent you?

No, not this time.

I brought a flower.

Thanks?

What are you up to?

I'm working.

F course.

Want to hang out instead?

Hang out?

Yes, do something else.

Not unless you pay for it.

I have lots of cash.

Lots.

Look!

I can pay for everything.

Absolutely everything.

As long as you
pretend to like me.

Pretend to enjoy
yourself, at least.

Pretend it's real.

Very well. Fine.

Come in. I just need
to get dressed.

Eirin, good night, Eirin.

Eirin, good night.

Good night, Eirin

I'll see you in my dreams.

Last Saturday night
I got married.

Me and my wife settled down.

Now me and my wife are parted.

I think I'll go out
on the town 3.

Eirin, good night, Eirin.

Eirin, good night.

Good night, Eirin

I'll see you in my dreams

n I love Eirin, God knows I do

I'll love her 'til
the seas run dry.

But if Eirin should turn me down

I'd take morphine and die.

Eirin, good night, Eirin.

Eirin, good night.

Good night, Eirin

I'll see you in my dreams.

Eirin, good night, Eirin.

Eirin, good night.

Good night, Eirin

I'll see you in my dreams.

A part of me really wants
to kiss you right now.

That's not possible.

Why not?

Your time is up.

No. No, no, no, no!

Give me another ten minutes.

Just ten minutes!

Oh, Vidar, we're already
ten minutes past.

But you haven't helped me yet.

We've only been chatting.

You take 1.200 Kroner an hour
just to Sit here and Chat?!

Vidar, I understand that this
might sound unreasonable, -

- but I have an agreement
with health services, -

- and if you can acquire
a doctor's referral,

you'll only have to
pay your deductible.

However, you should be aware, the
wait might take six months...

- and I would recommend a
new session next week.

I bet you would.

For 1.200 Kroner an hour I might
as well solicit a prostitute.

Get more bang for my buck.

Vidar, that's enough.

You can't expect to get well
after one single session.

I can't flick a magic
wand in the air and say:

Take your weird garments and your
sunglasses, go outside, enjoy life, -

- you're fit a as fiddle.
This is not how this works.

This is a process.

We've only started scratching the
surface, and quite frankly, -

- I think we should keep scratching
until we reach the bottom...

and then we unravel the knots.

How does that sound?

Ehh, I... I'm thinking...

Vidar, I...

Sorry, but we have to finish up.

I have another client waiting,
and you can't be here right now.

You understand.

So, what I'll do is:

I'll put you down for
a new session next...

Thursday.

Same time.

Until then, I suggest you continue
your twelve-step program.

Sound good?

Good, Vidar. Until next time.

Have a safe journey home.

Mmh.

41 Oh, hem me God 41