Vicky Donor (2012) - full transcript

Dr. Baldev Chaddha (Anu Kapoor), a well qualified fertility expert, runs a fertility clinic and a sperm bank in Dariyaganj, New Delhi, that guarantees a high quality and specialized sperm for the purpose. Unfortunately he has more failed cases to his credit than successes. A healthy, high performing donor is the need of the hour. Vicky Arora (Ayushmann Khurrana), a young, good-looking, Punjabi boy from Lajpat Nagar, is the only son and of no financial support to Dolly, a widow, who runs a small beauty parlor from home. As luck would have it, a small brawl in the colony brings Dr Chaddha and Vicky, face to face, where Chaddha, concludes that Vicky could be THAT donor he has been looking for. From here on, Chaddha's days and nights are spent in convincing Vicky to become a donor till he finally gives in. Vicky finds his love interest in Ashima Roy (Yami Gautam), a pretty Bengali girl, who works in a Bank. But soon there hunky dory world comes crashing down because of Vicky's past as a donor. With a brief emotional roller coaster ride, Vicky Donor is a light-hearted take on the subject of sperm donation.

You were saying that
this time it will be done.

This is a good
business you have made.

Since last two years I am
taking treatment from you.

Bhatia sir I
understand your feelings.

But didn't you only select
the donor after checking...

...the photo and other details.

I am just a doctor and not God.

We tried, but it
didn't work, what do I do?

Doctor it's been 8 years since
she's been keeping all fasts...

and hasn't left out any temple...

...mosque or any saint and now
your telling us "what to do".

I will get it printed in the Times
that you are cheating the people.

Bhatia sir you cool down...
have water. Don't take stress.

If not today then tomorrow,
she will definitely conceive.

What is Dr.
Chaddha sitting here for?

Now look at this and understand.

This is the female organ...

See this is uterus here
somewhere here is the egg.

The sperm and the egg must meet.

Here the sperm travels,
travels and meets here...

...hits here and
then baby is conceived.

Some sperms penetrate,
some bounce back.

In your case this
meeting is not happening

Then make it meet.

If we don't have a child, my
brother will takeaway my business.

He is a big rascal.

Lets take god's
name and try once more

Well fine, as it is it's been 2
years, might as well try once again.

But this time we need a good
quality sperm. - Definitely.

But this is the final try.

Come on... he said
he'll give us a good sperm

Come on...

Sir be prepared to put
these locks permanently.

The samples we have
are good for nothing.

Had even printed 3
ads in the newspaper...

...but not a single
reply worth considering.

Wretched sperm.

Chaman pick up the phone.

Dr. Chaddha's clinic.

I need to talk to Dr. Chaddha

He is in an emergency case. And will
call back, the moment he is free.

I wont spare that idiot

Tell that Dr. Chaddha of yours,
not to lie to me.

He has taken 30% advance from me...

Even after promising, he
hasn't given us a quality sperm.

You tell that fool
I'll hunt him down...

Now, why you are staring at me.

As if I have used the sample.

Chaddha sir get me the
sample of a cricketer.

Not only will he play for the
country but also mint money.

And if we have a sweet girl
then she can become a model

Don't you worry about the money.

We will load you with cash.

We will take very good care sir.

I get it.

You want a Dhoni and
you want an Aishwarya.

Yes, sir.

Then there's no worry what the
child will be when he grows up.

First decide his career and
then give birth to the child.

I will call you. Ok sir.

Thank you.
- Thank you.

God bless.

Aunty take 300 rupees.

What's the matter Dolly aunty?

This shade of lipstick is looking
very nice... its suiting you I say.

When it comes to good looks...
all we can do is take care...

...though the truth is that
with age we will lose it...

...anyways your mom's henna is due.

I'll let her know.
- Just clean it quickly.

By the way did Vicky find a
job or is he still as useless?

He will find one, you
needn't worry. - Okay.

And listen didn't your
engagement break sometime back?

Aren't your folks
looking for another guy?

I will tell you later on. Okay...

...loud mouth.

Oh god its already ten
and Vicky is still sleeping

My knees pain...

I feel like a maid in my own house...
take care of parlor... grand mom.

Oh Vicky

Vicky why don't you wake up.

How long are you going to sleep now?

Wonder why She doesn't let him sleep

A theft has taken place.

Where has the T. V gone.

- What happened?

Vicky they have
taken the our T. V...

All the clothes also taken.

Were you sleeping like
Kumbhkaran (sleeping giant)...

...or did you eat an
entire pack of sleeping pills?

Every morning you get possessed
by some ghost or what? Move now...

grand mom we have been destroyed.
Stupid have taken away everything

Why are you abusing? There
is nothing that you can do

Shut up and what you are
seeing from there like monkey.

Let me see at least,
what are you doing?

We have been ruined grand mom.

...good that they stole
the TV coz if you had... sell it to a trash picker... wouldn't have got
more than one thousand.

Your all the old sarees
could've been used for this only

What are you smelling like a dog?

Looks like it was the black
underwear gang... just smell and see.

Go and lodge an FIR and find out
from the shop in Ambar Colony.

They might have sold the T.V. there.

Listen that Mr. Bhale is giving
1500 per month to the watchman...

...and whole night he
whistles outside his house.

Why don't you increase his fees?

Don't you dare talk
about the money to me.

God knows how many kilos of detergent
goes in washing yourjeans...

...and then who pays for
your shopping and... expenses with your friends?

All I know is that if you
want to stay in this house... 5000 rupees every month...
and that's final.

Let me get the job once then
I will return all your money.

For God sake now don't
start the story of doing a job.

See the entire history so far...

no one has ever done job
in the family of Arora.

Here... take this

Umm... I will not keep quiet.

Why don't you take care of the
business along with your uncle.

You'll have to speak
English in the job.

And the expenses of the attire... I
am not going to give you a penny more

You are my mummy or my enemy.

Now where you are going with
the whisky. Won't you have tea.

Get me phenyl instead

I don't know anything. Now you
come to house after earning money

Vicky stop.

Now suffer because
of the pampering...

Obviously there is no trend of 'good'
morning in your father's house.

A robbery was to happen,
it happened...

The whole life has gone by
but I've never purchased...

...anything for my own self.

My small parlor income can't
take care of your expensive desires.

Wants to buy a flat TV...

What to do your
destiny is only not good...

listen, get me one more
cup of tea. It's too cold.

And as for TV, that I will
buy anyways... that too Sony.

What did you think that I am dog.

You'll sleep and I'll guard you.

I kept you for barking.

Lazy bum.

Listen. What is this.

Sirji you do your work.

What are you doing. This is my car.

Your car.

Then what. This is my car.

You keep you car. This is my dog.

You go with your dog.

This is my dog and I am tying.
What is your problem?

If it is yours then take
it some where else. - Why?

Munjal sir what happened.

Nareshji no one is
understanding the matter.

I was coming from the
market in the morning and...

...from market I went in the park.
I did exercise in the park.

What are you doing this.
You are just confusing us.

Munjal sir just clear the matter.

You are not understanding.

I am telling that I went in the
market and did exercise in the park.

When I came here
then seen that this boy

...was tying his dog
in front of my car.

Oh god why you are taking so much
time in explaining. - I'll tell you.

This is your house.

Ground floor is mine.

Ground floor is yours and car
is also yours. - This is my car.

Is it your dog.

This is not my dog.

You understand this.
- The same thing I am telling.

This is not my dog.
You understand this.

This is a Labradog.

See carefully it is Doberman.

My experience says it is labradog.

What is this
nuisance in the morning.

Now get lost from here.

You listen to me.

What are you doing?

Isn't he cute?

Listen... I was...
- Excuse me.

Isn't he cute?

You like it?
- Yes, very much. - What the price?

Sold the dog. Bye God
he is a heartless sperm.

Are you happy now?
Come on, let's go.

Some donor have come for interview.
Shall I send them.



I have 17 children.

You won't be able to do it...

You just give chance and see.

Hi Baldev.

~ Hi!


Get me men's magazines please

Sir, Abhishek.

Can you do it.

What sir.

How much cash do you think
I will make out of this.

I stay in Noida... can do updown.

I can sing

I won't get money?

- Yes sir.

Latha give me a crocin.

Okay, sir.

- Yes.

Lined up all the
world's losers for me.

Henceforth filter and then send.

Yes sir.

From tomorrow onwards you
start coming on my shop at Rajori.

You will learn the work in 5
- 6 months and...

...hen start your own work in
South Delhi. - That's right.

Yes How long will you be
wandering aimlessly here and there.

What's the problem?

You are the biggest problem.

All you do is sell clothes and you
will make Vicky also do the same.

What grand mom you are
also always cursing him.

What is wrong in his work.
- Again you started.

You always taunt
him about his work...

Uncle I won't sell your polka
dot clothes. I want to do a job.

There is respect in that.

And respect is what sets apart
business class from officer class.

I won't lift your shop
shutter up and down...

Vicky this is no way
to talk to elders.

Mummy I want respect.

Oh ya as if I have no respect...

We are irrespectable people...

for last 50 years I am
running 4 shops in Delhi

Brother... please
- And two are on rental.

Brother cool down.

He's a kid... - From where have
you bought these useless apples.

- Hey you listen to me.

I can hire and sack
fifty salesmen like you...

Vicky my son listen.

Grand mom its been fifty
years since I am working...

why don't you sometime
give some respect to me...

If you deserve then I
will give respect to you.

Grand mom when you give
only then I'll deserve.

No first you deserve and then take.

You are strange...

You will make me sell clothes.

Hey Vicky... listen...

You look handsome.

Please introduce to me also to...

What intro

Introduce me to that
girl in the parlour.

If mom comes to know
she'll give us a thrashing...

Vicky... c'mon... don't I always
help aunty with her parlor things...

Get me and intro please.
- Please...

Bloody despot...

Okay fine... looks like
you'll not help your friends...

Selfish creature...

Go away.

Come... have a seat

- Yes.

Yes this is the bill for
the fees and auto charges.

Give these duplicate bills later...
First tell the matter.

His name is Vicky Arora

WOW you have WOH one CTOTG TUPGGS...

you idiot, I only told you that...

lam telling you. this is the
bill for the snacks that I ate.

He did B. Com. from
Bhagat Singh 53%...

...loves loitering
around with his friends.

Mother runs a parlour.

He himself knows all the work...

...of parlour like manicure...
pedicure etc...

Father is dead but it seems he
has left a lot of money behind.

Status on Face book is 'complicated'
but on Orkut it shows 'single'.

And the watchman was saying that...

...he probably has an affair
with Sweta, his neighbour...

His job application has been
rejected from 4-5 places...

...and is a
beloved of his grandma...

Listen my mood is off so If there is
something interesting then tell me.

Now should I make it up or what.

I told you the facts.

Yes his grand
father had 19 children.

Come again...

19 children. There were
four twins and 11 singles.

Last child took birth
in the age of 78 years.

At what age?

78 years.

Did you cross check?

There is record in corporation.

What is address.

Address is 6/124, Lajpat Nagar
- 4, New Delhi.

Dolly today it's not effecting.
Have you added more water?

Uhh you are drinking slowly.

But even I am not high yet.

Umm. Dolly I'll
tell you something...

I respect you a lot.

Grand mom let it be. By morning
you will forget all this respect...

...and be back to
cursing me and my destiny.

Don't feel bad as I speak
anything in the hangover.

But I didn't get a
single penny in your dowry...

...this hurts me till date...

...that's why I speak like that...

...grand mom this is wrong.

You know I have
given my whole life...

...and my beauty
parlour income to you.

I never served my own mother
as much as I have served you.

And you speak like this...

I know it.

And only you can take my tantrums...

...that's why I respect you...

but only if you had got
something for me from...

...your home when you got married...

it would have been nice...

when Vicky wife will
get nothing for you...

then you'll know how much it hurts

Uhh grand mom I told
you several times...

...not to take the
Vicky's name while drinking...

...I loose the high.

I don't know what he
will do in his life.

He is a good boy and one day he
will make our ARORA family famous.

Prepare one more.

Yes. First finish this one.
- No.

Hey you... blowing empty whistles.
- Yes sir.

How did the theft
happen when you were there?

Sir one round takes 15 minutes.

I am the watchman
and not the superman.

Yes sir what is the matter.

You are chasing me since morning.

I will dial the number 100

Please don't misunderstand me.

I am law abiding citizen.

I have to talk something private.

Talk. Its private only.

No not here. My car is there.

You are searching the in law.
Stop the car here.

Whatever you wish to speak,
speak fast.

Just I asked this casually.

Now you tell me about your hobbies.

Hobbies... nothing.

After seeing you I
understand that you are correct man.

Oh for what.

For some work.

Sirji I mean what you want from me.

Well what is your
opinion about the sex.

As much as I get is less.

I saw you and understood that

Ok ask me further.

Except this what do you do?

Sir what I am doing and
what I am not doing...

...where I am going,
what is your problem.

Stop the car here in the side.
I am feeling uncomfortable.

For every small thing
tell me to stop the car.

Anyway am Dr. Baldev Chaddha, M.D.
Infertility specialist.

Shake hand to me.

I had a small
infertility clinic in Dariaganj...

...for the treatment of the married
couple who don't have any issue.

Side by side I am
running a bank also.

For that I need a
special donor. Sperm donor.

What happen.

What so funny?

Sir this is the thing for donation.

What so funny about it?

$109 -

Why are you laughing?

Thank you sir for
dropping me home in the cold.

What's so funny about it?

Think about it... I
will pay you well.

Let it be thank you.

If he wasn't my neighbor, I
would have hit him with my sandal...

You beat him and see. I
will cut your water pipeline.

Then we'll see how
you wash your henna.

...lndian Idol wannabe...

No grand mom you don't be angry.
I was just joking.

Here Vicky have this...

I said thank you Pepsi aunty.

Hello Dolly Beauty Parlour.

Yes just hold on. I am calling.

Vicky your phone.
- Coming mummy.

Come quickly.
- Yes.

Yes hello Vicky here.

You... this is the limit...
you've like entered my house...

No thank you sir. Now next
time don't try to call me again.

Wrong number.

Nowadays too wrong number
phones are coming for you.

Vicky listen.

Yes what?

This is parlour's money, go and
deposit it in the cooperative bank.

No mummy

No ya mom... your bank is dated...
it has no reputation...

not even an ATM...

Don't fuss around... we've had an
account in the bank since partition.

I am going... but to
open a new account.

Vicky please don't
create a new problem.

Sure. Sure.

Yeah, just give me
like one hour. Okay?

Excuse me.

Ma'am I want to open an account.

And here is the money.

Have you come for the
first time in the bank?


Well, sir that's not how
the accounts are opened.

Fill up the form and take
a token from that counter.

You can come back as
your number comes.

But Ma'am there is
no one in the queue.

Sir these are bank rules. Please.

Weird rules I say.

Sir your money.

Thank you, sister.

Thank you so much.

Ashima lunch

Come on, let's go.

Ma'am you are going half day.

I got the token also and we
will fill up the form also.

Its lunch hour sir.

I have to go.

Till then you sign on the bottom.

3 passport photos and
some one to introduce you.

Why others. I can
introduce myself...

Myself Vicky Arora
and you are Ashima Roy.

Oh you are a Bengali?

Yes I am not Punjabi.

You bring some one else who
has an account in this bank...

...and can introduce you.


Shall we?

Ashima, he is
Varun's friend. - What?


Now what?


The clinic is suffering losses and you
are producing one after another...

I have already offered
you but you always say no.

Shut up. There is something called
the family back ground of sperm.

Duffer sperm!

Cancel all my appointments.

Madam how is it fault if
I have had a fifth child?

Here, you have...

I thought you'd be a decent
guy since you're a doctor.

By God you really have a dirty mind.

Very awkward. What is dirty in that?

You are asking youngsters to
do such type of cheap work...

Do you even know what
you are talking about?

I have good respect and
my patients worship me

It makes no difference to me.

Keep your respect at home...
doesn't matter to me...

I hate kids

But why?

Have you ever smelled them?
There is so much foul smell.

Of urine... of potty... and
when they vomit doing wuack...

I don't want to have kids...

Who is telling you to
give birth to a child?

When it is my sperm then
won't the child be mine?

Only your sperm will be used.

Talk softly... the
shop owner knows me...

Sorry, sorry.

Ya ya I've got it all packed...
now please keep the phone...

Now what I was saying was that...
only the sperm will be yours

...but the responsibility of
the children will not be yours...

Neither the susu nor the potty...

In any case it is going waste.

Become a donor, at least
some one will be benefited.

No how do you know
that it is going waste.

And as it is it gets wasted only...

Shall I store it in a
syntax tank overhead or what

Don't store in the
tank but store with me.

I will give you money also for that.

Sir why are you
getting me trapped into...

lam trapping you?

The real trapping is what the
people in cities face these days.

This infertility is the
cancer of modern life.

I don't want to listen.

My dear this is the problem of
insecure and highly ambitious people.

See the routine life.

Sitting late in the office then
fighting the traffic return home...

...taking drink and
again working on the laptop.

And finally telling your wife
that darling I am too tired.

There married life becomes hell...

One's left unable to
do the real work...

On the other hand
are our villagers...

their touch is enough
to make a woman conceive

Do you know the root cause
of this problem... ask me what

- Stress


- Stress.

The sperm count becomes low
as the stress goes higher.

You and the village...
same to same... copy... ditto

lucky... happy... and
stress free... highly fertile... me please

you've come back to your purpose...

I don't want to do
this social service.

Okay, I agree to you.

But what is the guarantee
that there will be child.

No there is no guarantee...

No guarantee.

But this will be known...

...whether you are capable to
give birth to a child or not.

Stop the car.
- Yes.

I said stop the car.
- One minute what happened?

Stop the car.

What happened?


How could you say it...
that I am not fit for that...

I cannot give birth to a child?

Don't misunderstand me.

Misunderstanding... my foot...

Now dare you call me ever again...

Listen to me.

Who are you to talk
such crap about me?

Don't misunderstand me.

Sorry dear

I'm telling you... I can
give birth to as many kids...

That is exactly why I came to you.

Heights of being a pile on ya...

Now what are you doing here?

Drinking affects the
strength of the sperm...


I haven't said yes to you as yet...

But you haven't said no either...

Understand my problem.

Will you have cold coffee?

Can I drop you somewhere?

See Vicky I am not pressurizing you.
but please understand my situation...

Can we talk in the evening. Ok.

Shall I wait.

What time, what time in the evening?

There is one link.

My cousin's brother in
law works with the RBI.

Sorry sir, not possible.

I think I'll now have to
find a source in the ministry

Not even then sir

There must be some way out.

I don't know anyone who
has an account with your bank

...does that mean I
can't get my account opened?

Sir I have already told you
I do not have the authority.

You could speak to
the Branch Manager.

I spoke to him

By the way Ashima, your
account is with this bank right?


Lets, you and me become friends...

...and you give me a NOC...
my works done...

Sir I don't know you.

Care for some coffee

I'll get some connection...
see you...

Dr. Chaddha I really
gave it a serious thought

lam unemployed, sort
of good for nothing...

that doesn't mean I'd do
such kind of silly work...

So my final decision is a NO!

Do you believe in God.


Then, for god's sake say yes

See if I don't get a donor like
you, my clinic will get ruined...

the competition is very tough...

...everything will get ruined...

Listen don't do this emotional talk.

Please go ahead and
catch some other party.

Thank you.

What are you saying?

Here... things are getting
ruined and you're saying...

...I should speak to someone else...

It won't be that
easy to get someone else

So what do I care...
sit on the seat...

ls there only one guy
in the whole of Delhi.

...neither does he belong
to the Tatas or Birlas...

You're just wasting your time
behind him... for no reason...

There is...

There is... something in the boy

This one is of our south trip.
That time Vicky was 8 years old.

And this one... is when I was young

You don't look old now either.

Thank you.

- By the way I'm not that old...

...but when faced with increasing
responsibilities at a young age...

...the stress does come out on
the body and face. - Yes yes.

And this one is my husband's.

He died after this trip.
This is his last photo.

Doesn't he look a lot like Obama.

Yes yes... same to same...
just 2 shades fairer...

Whenever that chap comes on TV,
I leave all my work and sit...

It feels as if he has
taken a rebirth in America.

Oh Vicky you've come.

You didn't tell me that you are
starting a business with Chaddha sir.

You got quite late.

You were quite a naughty boy... have
come to know of your entire history...

But I didn't reveal
that thing, promise...

Shit man, by god, mom's swear,
you have crossed the limit

Relax, mummy will hear it

Please, don't touch me.

Do you know what a
big pile on you are?

See if you don't want
to do it, then don't.

But don't call me a pile on.

It hurts.

You only tell me...

Sir I am a common man.

I live in Lajpat
Nagar's refugee colony...

My mother is a widow.

If she, Pepsi aunty,
Sharma's, Bhalla's, Chopra's...

if they come to know that I do
such... meaning such kind of work...

...then I'll lose
all my respect...

you'll get me thrown
out of the colony.

See what I am trying to say is
that I am a certified MBBS doctor...

...and this work is legal.

Not from today but since
the times of the Mahabharata.

I can stand at India
Gate and announce that...

...its an ancient science...

when women couldn't have children,
they used to call Rishis...

Rishis used to give their
blessings... 'tatha asthu'...

...and there... done... it's a very
ancient science... what's wrong in it

And if you look at it from
a business point of view...

...then you can make money,
I can make money... clinic will get saved...
rest is up to you...

Should I leave?

Good night.
- Good night.


Yes, Dr. Chaddha had come in the
morning, he's very jocular by nature

Whiskey has come back... don't know
from where Dr. Chaddha got him from

Okay, mom.

The baby has to be matching with us.

We are very classy people...

...we want our baby to be
like us... refined... you know.

Absolutely aristocratic...

Not a problem. Just fill up
your requirements in the form.

Next week John
Abraham is coming to Delhi.

If he agrees, then
we'll make a deal with him.

Don't joke, Baldev.

Madam you are the one joking.

See it is my guarantee to
give you a healthy sperm...

...with a good hit rate.

But whether the baby will be well
behaved or naughty how I can tell?

You have a nice day.
- Thank you very much, Dr. Baldev.



Don't you think it
is a little bit funny?

Yeah, that's okay. Its alright.

Listen to me clearly.

Tell me.

I am doing this
only for pocket money.

There has been no change of heart


I still hate children.

Got it.

Got it.

Go there.

- Yes sir...

Take his details.

Okay sir.


Vicky Arora.



- 25.

Height? - 5'10

- You're coming with me?

Yes, sir. Come sir

There is the wash basin, and
here is the tissue paper...

...and here is the container.

In this, you may
throw it and store it...

Okay sir.

Done sir.

What happened?

Wouldn't happen like this...

No problem.

This is called performance
pressure in medical terms.

Everyone goes through it...
even cricketers before a game...

Don't get tensed.

Come with me.

Come come... inside here...


Yes sir.

Thank you.

Sit... sit

Don't take stress. We have
a solution for everything.

Here, take this this Oh Boi...

Double X boys... Excite boys...

Triple X... and this
is wild ones... right...

All the best.

Play the DVD and put on the
headphones... all the best


Done sir.

Congratulations. Your first payment.

Balance will be paid to you
after completing the procedure.

Balance payment.

What I mean is that for the
next five to six months...

...this sample will be
tested in the lab...

...and if there is a meeting with the
egg then we shall pay you the balance.

As it is we have a done deal right

You just enjoy!

The spark plug is jammed

My destiny is doomed

My destiny is doomed

Sharma's, Rowde's,
Bhalla's, all victims

Part of the guilty army

Part of the guilty army

No more prayers, no more medicines

I am changing my style

Let all men take a hike

I have found the potent Chaddha



Chaddha is on the pursuit

Chaddha is on the pursuit

Chaddha is on the pursuit

Chaddha is on the pursuit

Vicky you... now what...

You had told me that you will
meet me when I get myself a job.

So I came here first


Oh you are working now

- Yuck...

lam a sperm donor

Only sick people like you
can do this kind of work.

Next time don't show me
your face... Get lost.

He's modern's world's handyman

Going all around
with his sticky hands




- Ashima

- Ashima

- Ashima


- Hello

...Is she your relative?

Brother I was helping you.

Keep your help with yourself,
and get out of here.

Seriously, the world just
does not appreciate decency...

And why should I go that way,
I'll go this way...

Get lost.

I am a sperm donor
- What?

Chaddha is on the pursuit

Chaddha is on the pursuit

Chaddha is on the pursuit

Chaddha is on the pursuit

Couldn't you knock before entering

Why you are feeling shy?

Mummy papa have gone for a wedding.


So you've come parading yourself,
to celebrate your honeymoon...

You get lost!

Now even if you call me,
I won't come... know that Sunny and Bunty,
they're always running after me...

...and that Pitampura guy,
he's even bought a car...

I've got everyone
hanging just for you...

Who are you showing attitude to...
I've never stopped you...

Fine, I'm just warning you...

...that there's a whole cue of
boys waiting for me out there...

so don't be in this illusion
that you're the only one...

Shut the door...
I've to change my shirt

Ya ya no one's watching you...

bloody loser!

She thinks she is too smart.

I am coming, mother!
- Just go.

Hey Vicky... listen up brother...

Just go off to sleep man...
always butting in from behind

Listen Dimpy, from the parlour,
was giving me the look...

getting it ya...

You went to the parlour.
- Yes

Mum will take my case...
don't ever do that again.

Sorry, see you always
get the action bro... I have a
genuine problem right...

Alright, listen, listen, Don't
introduce me, that's alright.

Get me from somewhere else then...

Who am I

Get me some action ya bro
- Here take mine...

You are forgetting your promise.

The love goddess will
never forgive you...

Oh Vicky!


We met at the bank.
- Really

Get my account opened

How are you?
- Very good.

Hey... what's up


Looking sweet.
Different... kind of cute

Thank you.

So, you're single.

How would you know?

Otherwise your boyfriend would
be sniffing around like a dog...

...guarding you...
- Excuse me.

I am an independent working
girl and not like other girls

I know.

Therefore don't even try.

Why, working girls
don't have affairs?

May be, but they definitely don't need
a boyfriend sniffing around them... least I don't

Madam see... that depends...

...if you trap a simple,
decent dog...

I mean boyfriend like me... then
he is bound to sniff around...

lam trapping you... don't forget
you came here to speak to me...

don't forget...

Look... standing here alone...,
all dressed up...

...these are the
beginnings of setting the trap...

I didn't know that
I'd meet you here...

And if you would have known, you
wouldn't have come dressed up?

I wouldn't have come!


You are back!!

No, am still stuck in traffic.
Didn't sleep yet...

Your dad would snore all night,
let out gas repeatedly...

I would fight that you
are not letting me sleep...

I would then come to
your room and sleep...

...and no sooner would I catch a
wink than he'd come & call me...

...would hold my
hand all night long... do I suppose I'd
feel sleepy now all alone?

Shall I prepare a drink.

No, I'll go in just five
minutes and sleep down

By the way hundred percent we share
some higher connection between...

we keep bumping into each other...

first at the market,
then on the road...

...then at the sangeet...
quite unbelievable.

Remove the life out of the computer...
what're you so busy with...

...that you can't even
spare a minute to respond...

...there's this dude sitting
in front of you talking crap... least respond...

Sir this is not my drawing room.

That I should
entertain you... it's a bank...

Give me your address,
drawing room, bedroom...

we could chat anywhere. even
I am quite uncomfortable here


Was telling you... to be seated
quietly... now you've broken it...

...give you one tight one...

Sir is that your son...

...yes he is my son.

No just think and be
sure that he is your son.

Yes he is my son.

Does anyone get his son to
the bank for an outing...

...its the worlds
most boring place...

...listen kid you carry on playing

He's come here so many times.

I know he is an over the
top guy, but he's cute.

Come on your single enjoy it.

Don't be a bore


What bore...

...why do you people feel that I
don't want to be in a relationship.

No listen. I have to be sure first.

Yes but at least meet
him once & as it is...

...who is asking you
to have sex with him.

Look at these marriage photos... both
of you are looking so cute together.

See this one.

Dr. Trehan any problem.

Ok let me call you back.

Whose sample is this?

Is everything ok.

Ok. more than ok.

I say unbelievable.

His sperm count is 100 million
and motility rate is very strong.


Who is this?

Well, he's a foreigner...

So finally you found your Alexander

Dr. Trehan why are
you joking with me.

Hello Chaman give an
appointment to Bhatia.

- Yes

Some Chaman had come
by in the morning...

...and gave this sweet box...

...was saying
there's some good news.

When did he come.

He had come early in the morning

So how does it feel.

You've conceived for the
first time... that too twins...

lam shit sacred...

lam shit sacred...

Meaning why the hell did
you send the laddoos home...

...henceforth am not telling
anyone that I am a sperm donor...

...the women are slapping me
while your making me eat laddoos

You know... women they're
just wired differently...

...god hasn't made such a
woman who can understand a man...

...but you don't feel
disappointed... it'll affect...

...and with such women... neither
waste your time nor your sperm...

...seriously your sperm
count is outstanding...

first time in my career...

lets give it another shot...

No sir the world is very mean.

If everyone comes to know... doing
nothing, am becoming a father...

And if your clients
spread the word...

...then mom will throw
me out of the house...

Why would the
clients spread the news.

There is confidentiality
clause in the contract

Sir may I say something, I did this
just once just to keep your word... I don't want to
make a habit out of it...

No no make it a habit.


Yes mummy.

Did you purchase a TV

What TV

Yes they've brought this LCD



Why aren't you speaking?
Where did you get the money from?

Ya... ya ya mom it's yours keep it.

Keep it inside please

Long live my Vicky.

Look Vicky if you've
touched my bank account...

...I am telling you...
don't increase my BP...

Ya mom I'll explain later



LCD... and this is
just the beginning...

Bhatia has sent the LCD in
celebration of his twins.

Now you wait and watch
what all you'll get both... cash and in kind...

...there is much to
enjoy for a sperm like you

What would be the cost of LCD

Fifty to sixty thousand.

Sir why don't you understand.

Technically I have
become a father...

...and it feels really strange

What feeling my dear

Just do what you feel like doing...

eat well, sleep well,
and dress well...

...don't take stress...
it'll affect your sperms

All the time sperm sperm. Cant
you ever think of anything else...

Listen listen...

I get like over a
thousand biodatas everyday...

...with people
applying to be sperm donors...

...ask Chaman if you wish to...

If you had so much
choice why did you select me.

Listen... sit... sit... it 20 years
experience or 6th sense...

I can tell a good sperm just
by looking at a man's face...

You're taking my case...

See your report, its brilliant.

Such DNA belong only
to the true Aryans...

your a pure Aryan... you're
the son of an Aryan you bloody...'re the son of
an Aryan you bloody...

Confused sperm.


Have you ever heard
the name of Alexander.

Your DNA belongs to his family.

What are you talking.

Listen listen

Look... whets written here...

. Map

What's written here...

The conquest of Alexander the Great

Look this is Macedonia,
Alexander's country...

from here he takes off...
continues continues...

reaches here Asia
Minor meaning Turkey...

from Turkey he takes off straight,
then left then again left and...

...then a right
and reaches Persia...

...after crossing Persia... and via
Hindukush he entered into INDIA...

...but before he reached INDIA...
he had many marriages... marriage left
his soldiers behind...

Alexander's soldiers and
local women had sex...

...and married each other... and
had their children... understood...

...and you guys came here
only after the partition right?

And Lajpat nagar ls
full of refugees... also are a refugee right...
so all this happened right there...

what I am trying to say is
that you are a pure Aryan race!

Don't believe me do you... look this
is history and this is science...

they both go along together...

I am a man of science

We can not go on together...

...just drop me home please

Listen... the sperm count of
an Aryan is best in the world.

I get all types of
demands from overseas...

...sperm samples of Brad Pitt,
Shahrukh Khan, Lady Gaga, Beckham.

Clients demand the sperm
samples of such celebrities...

Now you please tell me where am
I to get their samples from...

...but since there is a
demand we would have to meet it


You are there na...

You play cricket so
you are my Dhoni...

...handsome you already are,
so there is my Beckham...

you dance, sing well...
there you go - Lady Gaga...

and drama is inborn in us Indians...
so you become my Shahrukh...

...consumer is happy and
so is the manufacturer...

Sir increase my rate then...


Greedy sperm...

When this little flower
bud blooms into a plant

It blooms into a bud.

Hey, iPhone has come.

This is a 16GB one.

Dear, I had asked for a 32 GB one.


It blooms into a bud

And so does the demand for this...

...that and just about
everything that money can buy

Dolly Arora..

Didn't you say Rs.5,000
per month? This is 5,000..

From where did you get this money?

We want the best quality sperm

Don't worry about the money

We're getting demand
from foreign countries...

Give me cash. - Cash. - Cash.

I need a good
quality Indian sperm donor.

Cash. Give me cash.


Mrs. Bhatia breathe...

Take a deep breath...

When this little plant
turns into a big tree

Turns into a big tree

The feeling takes over to
live big, in style and live free

And so does the demand for this...

...that and just about
everything that money can buy

As the wants are unlimited
and even bigger than the sky

lam late. I will try and
make it as soon as I can.


What are you doing madam.
Delhi is not safe in night. Come.

First CR park please

So, how's work at the bank going...

...but you have quite
an interesting job...

...just sit back and
count others' cash...

Don't you get bored...

Meaning there isn't a single guy in
the bank whom you could check out...

I go there for work,
not to check out guy

As I told you, I am not interested.

That's the problem... just chill...

...take life lightly... else
you'll be frustrated all life long

Well, am I the
frustrated one or you...


...who was checking out
those useless magazines.

O.K. so I did see those magazines...

but didn't buy a single one...
check if you wish to...

Please Take left in the street.

Here's your Bengali colony

Ashima... bye... no thanks...

Am not that bad...

Good night.

Sir by the way you
could have done much.

Just take it to Lajpat Nagar

You're a smart chap...

Don't talk crap... lets go

This way.


Hi I am sorry I got late...
too much traffic...

uhh should we order for lunch?

Obviously but I
thought you would not come.

Now that night you
dropped me at home safely

...didn't even take the money
for auto also, so one lunch is O.K.

I was going home
in the auto anyways.

Anyway where do you work.


Where do you work.

I am looking for a job and for
time being I am in export import.

Of what?

- Really!

Really my dad was
working in Handicraft Emporium.

I mean he is retired now

What happened, what so funny...

What happened, what's so funny...
so are you single

You want to confirm
before having an affair

No I am just asking you.

I hardly know you.

I don't want have
an affair with you.

Then how come
you've come for a date.

I just came.

It is not a date.

O.K. leave it.

Have I held you as yet

You always talk like this.

I talk like that also.

Ma'am, your order please.

There is a reason
- Bye.

For this restlessness

I like you

this I agree to

There is a reason

for this restlessness

I like you

this I agree to

There was once some disinterest


Now I have found peace, limitless


Let me be lost
- I am getting late.

Today no bank

Why... I never bunked

There is always a first day.

But why?

Yeah, tomorrow..

She is having a burger. Call later.

Daily bunk for one or
two hours... it'll help

It's time to love you

Let me be lost

Let me lose myself

Let me be lost

Let me lose myself

It's not the weather, it's the heart

You are unique, the rest is useless

You are unique, the rest is useless

You are unique, the rest is useless

You are unique

Let me be lost

Let me lose myself

Let me be lost

Panditji what happened?

Vicky Pepsi aunty was
asking me what you do.

I told her to ask you herself.

Whatever you all are planning,
send it out of boundary.

See my dear there is no hurry.

But one thing let me tell you...

...that I really think you and
Sweta look really sweet together

See son now you have
started earning, so get married.

Today your telling
me to get married...

...tomorrow you'll
tell me to have kids...


If its only about kids, then I
can have them today itself...


Why did you kiss me and all of that?

That night I was drunk, after
that have I ever touched you...

...put on your dupatta

Put on my dupatta...
Why're you ignoring me.

You were drunk
just that one night...

...what about the other nights.

What other nights. I
never touched you.

Did lever stop you.

See the door is open,
somebody could see us...

what are you doing...
get away from me

Look if you don't want to
do marriage now then O.K.

I will convince to mummy, but don't
break our relationship in this way...

What relationship...

I have already told you that
we are just childhood friends

don't raise false hopes...

So you do all that with a friend
that one should do with a girlfriend.

Aren't you feeling anything...

...just troubling me aren't you...
or you've found somebody else...

There's no one else...

...and even If there is why should
I tell you... bloody pile on...

Hooo... when that you've
done everything with me...

...I've become a pile on

I even given you all
my pocket money...

now you give me back all my money

There... shown your real self...

Bloody typical C block mentality...
here take this... here take all your money...
haven't even counted it

I will take my money and
now you see... what I do...

I will tell everything to aunty...
open up all your secrets

What you will tell.

Yes I know everything
about you and the doctor...

I know all that's going on
between the two of you...

What do you know.

That you're getting
your treatment done

Treatment... hahahah... Go,
go, tell everyone...

Yes I will tell to the
entire colony and you go to hell.

You go to hell. You take your money.

Now I'll show you
when you come to me...

And one more thing...

One day or other all this
will come out in the open.

I've become habituated to
earning quick money thanks to you...

What is wrong in this?

As it is what does a boyfriend and
girl friend do with each other...


Eating burgers at Wimpy's.
Some kisses... some touching... they aren't going to have
kids right... all wastage of sperm...

Listen now you be
away from all these.

All the time

You land up connecting such
diverse topics with each other...

If I listen to you... I'll
land up dying a bachelor

Come on your job.

Me, hi I'm on the treadmill...

...what are you doing in parlour?

Hadn't you refused me? Are
you out of your mind?

You hang in there, am coming.
Stay there. Okay bye.

What are you doing here?

Extremely sorry sir, not
today please next time double

Just give a little bit.

Give some at least...

Hey have called for some
sweets from Tiwaris...

Send them home...

Ma'am, your driver is waiting...

Leave that.

Mom... here's the money...

Thank you aunty I will be back. Bye.

O stranger from distant lands

Your home is across the seas...
O, dear foreigner

I could not understand anything...
but you sing beautifully...

This was mom's favourite song...

...5 year's back she died,
since then...

Sir tea

In the house there's
only myself, dad and Peeshi

One thing's for sure...

...your children will
become singers


Genes, after all they
will have an effect.

Well do you love children.

You love kids.

I'm ok

I love kids

You love kids
- I love them.

I am also a kid only.

Unsaid things get colored

You start calling a
person your very own

Sir its coming switched off.


Suddenly how come you
made a plan to meet?

I want to tell you something.

Tell me.

I am a divorcee

I knew it. I knew there
had to be something...

...that you're forever cranky...

What's the story?

3 years back we had an
arranged marriage.

The boy was from DU. A Banker.

Oh would be earning well.

Sorry then what happened.

Nothing, on our first night of
marriage, I came to know that...

...he loved somebody else and married
me only under family pressure.

I don't know why
he kept it a secret.

Should have told me.

They are sissies... Bengalis

I am not like that.

What happened after that?

Nothing, caught an auto in
the middle of the night..

...and came back to my house.

He did not even find it
necessary to drop me home.

Ha, that's not a marriage there,
you didn't even have sex...

Besides you had to
spend on the bridals...

Well when you meet mom,
avoid the divorce matter.

Why. - We're Punjabis...
conservative... not modern like you'll

And you.

Everything is cool for me.

Do you have a secret...


735 friends on Orkut

750 on Facebook...

And this is the profile picture

All details are totally correct.
You can check it whenever...

Why are we here...

...what do you want from me.

Don't know Ashima...

But since I've met you... I
feel I can't live without...

It's like you've become a habit...
first when I met you at the bank...

I was like what kind of girl
is she... then I was like... however she is...
she's just fine... make you smile sort of
became my responsibility...

...after dropping you at
home in the evening...

...and then picking
you up in the morning...

...and the time in between...
bloody just doesn't pass...

...but why've you
asking me all this...

Because even I have fallen for you.

I want to marry you.

I want kids a family...

...but that's ok...
it's not necessary...

...for you to have
similar feelings...

Maybe you don't
want to settle down...

So you can let me know

Come, let's go to your
Kaalibadi and get married.

I am serious Vicky.

I am also serious.

Listen... this
'Peeshi' in your house...

Is she your cat or dog...

Peeshi means aunt.

Do you drink

The purity of water

The purity of water

It's nice... a little blue though

Sit comfortably

I like it...


Brings a tear to my eyes

Brings a tear to my eyes

My beloved didn't show up

My beloved didn't show up

My love didn't show up

My beloved didn't show up

My beloved didn't show up

My love didn't show up

You know what a
drunken bengalan looks...

Take a look at
yourself in the mirror.

You are drunk

Father's at home...


So do we play ludo sitting here?

Your absence has made me go crazy

Come back, my beloved

Your absence has made me go crazy

Come back, my beloved

Seasons have come and gone

You still haven't come, my love

O intro... get out of here...

You still haven't come, my love

When I saw your divine eyes

When I saw your divine eyes

A tear came to my eye

A tear came to my eye

A tear came to my eye

On the terrace when we would meet

I will call you.
- Ok. Correct...

- Bye

I'm crazy about you. I love you

You won't find anyone like me

Forego the world and come back to me

Forego the world and come back to me

Brings a tear to my eyes

A tear came to my eye

A tear came to my eye

A tear came to my eye

What is all this
going on in your life.


Lying doesn't suit you

Who is this Ashima.

We are getting married

Listen... dating and
shating is fine...

...chilling out, going out
ls fine... but marriage.

Listen understand the
importance of bachelorhood...

In bachelorhood you can eat when
you want, drink when you want...

...the toothpaste cap will
remain wherever you left it...

...but after marriage
you'll lose this freedom.

And from the client's point of view
the value of bachelor's sperm is...

Every time you just talk
about sperm... sperm... sperm

It's been four years...
my mind has gotten rusted...

Rise above the sperm
there is a heart also.

Chaddha sir what about love?

Your dad's never
going to accept this...

Why Peeshi ma?

Why... you know don't talk
like as if you don't understand...

North lndian...aethe uthey kithey...
oh god...ssss...

cant even think about it...

you know they don't even take off
the price tags from their clothes...

and then they'll say
'Oh I made a mistake...'

Ok just meet him once

No this match is NOT
possible at all

Showed you so many girls...

and finally you chose to
find yourself a Bengali...

Ashima Roy...have you lost it?

Her name itself is so bitter,
what'll she be like...

do you know how
dominating these girls are...

and why do I have to
adjust everytime...

I am not going to adjust
this time, I will not...

...first get dominated by in
laws then by this Bengali bride...

...listen carefully, only a Punjabi
bride will enter this house...

...and that too a
fair & pretty one...

else go get married all by yourself!

Even if no one goes, I will
definitely go to your marriage...

and that too wearing
a suit by Ritu Kumar

Grandmom, you don't
interfere...please don't...

I have only one son...and
he'll get a Bengali bride...?

Listen they are really big misers...

I challenge you, show me one
such Bengali in the whole world...

...who lives like
us...with a big heart...

...and their
food...FISH...bitter oil...

morning evening
night fish fish fish...

god, a man would just faint...
I will not...

Mom please least meet her just once

lam not going to
meet that Bengali woman

She is not typical.

Every time something good happens...

...she has to spread
sadness...that's her habit

Your grandfather, wanted
to make you a sardar...

I was the one who opposed it...

...and now this Bengali woman,
she's going to make you a monkey...

...will make you wear a
monkey cap and rubber chappals...

then don't come to me crying...mumma
save me... save me, help help help

Ignore all tell me...
does she look like Moon Moon Sen?

Better than that...

- Yes

Show me a photo...

It is in the phone see.

Show me...


Oh dear god, looks so pretty...
like a princess... touchwood...

...can I give you a surprise?

I am going to sponsor
your honeymoon trip...

Oye why did you
stop this...continue.

What is this you are doing?

You know I hate North Indians...

I mean you're an independent,
modern, smart, Bengali woman...

and he ARORA, Punjabi!

We have our culture, literature,

...this just won't match,
no match at all...

bloody money minded business
class (Making fun) bailey bailey...

and you want to do that monkey dance

...that's right baba...that's
exactly what I want to do...

...and what culture
are you talking about...?

About that son-in-law of
yours who didn't have the guts... speak the truth that he
already loved somebody else...

...he was your cultured,
well read Bengali...right?

Vicky's not like that... he
genuinely cares for me baba...

That's because he has some personal
agenda...they are selfish people

Ya he does have an agenda
baba...he wants to marry me

Where does he work?

Own business.


No no this marriage cannot happen...

...your uncle's son-in-law,
can't you find a boy like him...

I don't care papa...

That is why I told you
not to settle in Delhi.

You keep quiet...
your also responsible...

...what do you mean
by you don't care...

I am the owner of
this house I decide here

Here have this fish

Fish...a man's character can be known
from the way he buys his fish...

...he has to pass
the fish test first.

He does not eat fish.

Couldn't you find a
Bengali boy to fall in love with?

Best of the Bengali boys wants
to marry, engineer...

They are good behaved...

they are good lovers...too...yes...

what...what...what do you think...

...what do you think,
they are not good in bed.

What're you saying...

I'm saying the right
thing...they are good in sex also

I was...

if your mom was
alive...she would have told you...

when I used to hug her
tight...she would ummm feel shy...

...and ask me to loosen up...

...and don't tell me
Punjabis are better than us.

When do you want to meet him?

What will I do
visiting those bengalis...

...sorry but I can't come...

No no I wasn't telling
you...ya ya I'm coming...

Pack me 4 portions of
chole-puri with extra choley...

...ya I'm coming
you keep the phone...

Sorry friend sorry.

Sir, you tell me not to get married
While you yourself have a wife...

No no she's not my wife...

...she's my maid
servant since 32 years... she behaves like
a wife inspite of a being a maid... as good as a wife...

Sorry dear

Fine don't come...but never
try calling me ever again...

I hate Punjabis.

I can understand.

...our nature is different
and further more they are Aroras...

...didn't I tell you these
Bengalis don't like us Punjabis

I hate Delhi also.

Sir, which means you
haven't seen Delhi well enough...

lam happy in my CR
Park my Bengali colony.

By the way...that too is Delhi sir

Are you his uncle?

No no business partner
professional uncle you can say.

What is your business.

investments...only profits didn't tell
us why you hate Punjabis

Because we believe in simplicity...Not
like Punjabis who are only show offs.

I agree with you madam...Our
cultures just don't match...

I was explaining him this only
that there will be a problem...

See understanding

Sir understanding is
very important sir...

If the two of us have an understanding
all problems will get solved...

...and I know a
little bit about Bengalis

I see what do you
know about Bengalis.

They love fish...

Sir, they're intelligent...

jana gana mana adhinayak...

...our national anthem was written
by gurudev Rabindra Nath Tagore...

and sir

Football Mohan Bagan

Sir, that guy plays
brilliant football

Guy... it's a team,
it's a football team...

He made a team...and
your 'elder sister' sir

elder sister...elder sister Mamata

Ya...that very same elder sister
is the 11th chief minister of Bengal

Sorry, sir.


Yes Baba

Bring the tea

I'll bring the starters

Mrs.Arora I hope Vicky has informed
you that Ashima is a divorcee

Divorcee? Vicky you didn't...

This is too much.

Oh such a fine
don't look like it at all...

anyways all for good...that
fellow's loss and Vicky's gain...

Now whatever grandmom
decides would be the final word

Listen you don't have
any children do you...

O grandmom, what's the difference,
we either say yes or no...

whichever way lets decide
fast...what's the big deal!.

For me she's absolutely Ok...

Dolly for me she's
absolutely fine...

You know Dolly...Vicky's mother...

Vicky's father Gurmeet
passed away very young...

...and she became a
widow at a very young age...

if it was up to me I would
have gotten her remarried...

why spend your
whole life sad & alone?

I appreciate your
progressive thinking.

Thank you.

If Vicky's fine, then even
we don't have any problem...

after all we're also modern people...
right...congratulations dear...

Your husband didn't come ma'am

Oh I never married...ummm...
I didn't find the right man should have told me...

I would have lined up
right men for you...

Mr.Rai there must be
tremendous pressure on you


Daughter is a
divorcee and sister bachelor

And you widow.


How old must you be

Excuse me, can we
talk about the wedding

See, we don't want a loud
marriage...not loud at all...

and the marriage should
follow the Bengali traditions

No no no no...the marriage will
be done by Punjabi traditions...

...after all it's our
son's first marriage...

so many known people...they're
all waiting to be invited...

and please do invite a DJ


No no no what is she saying

Listen keep quiet... now belong to
the Arora family...

...let these bongs speak what
they wish to...uh anything else

See...all this drinking and all that
goes on in your Punjabi marriages...

I personally feel that all that should
not happen in a marriage ceremony

Our family really
does not like that.

Where are the beer bottles

Look through the window of your eyes

Measure it on the
balance scale of your heart

Look through the window of your eyes

Measure it on the
balance scale of your heart

You will not find
someone like me no matter

...where in the world you search...

You people open da door

I manna burn da floor

What is this.

He's become a sucker

Get mixed in our
lives and its colour

Could not she find a
better Bengali boy.

Look how they're dancing,
like monkeys.

Oye pigs, stop this, the
ceremony is about to begin.

Get mixed in our
lives and its colour

Why're they taking
her round and round

Hope she doesn't fell giddy...

Great ...enjoy

This is all a wastage of money,
wastage of sperm.

You people open da door

I manna burn da floor

You people open da door

I manna burn da floor

Yes, yes, I am coming.

Bunty bring on the
liquor bottles from the car...

I never wanted Tuna to get
married in a Punjabi family...

...but now I think she
has made the right choice.

Both are looking so cute.

Peeshima what is this.
This is very simple.

There would be bulb in your house...

so remove the bulb...
and put it down...

We are happy and we keep
everyone happy. Come with me.

Where where Mrs. Arora

And wear their untamed
hearts on their sleeves

You will not find
someone like me no matter

...where in the world you search...

Your dad's gone balle balle

Mrs. Arora chicken
curry was out of the world.

Thank you thank you. What
I was saying was that...

...the terrace room is not
big enough for the two of you

...why don't we take a two
bedroom flat some where nearby.

No mummy we will manage. Why Vicky.

Mrs. Arora listen I am
shifting to Kolkata...

...and the entire
house will be empty.

They can easily shift there.

No no but they will be away from us.

Whose phone is it?


...just been married...
don't you have any patience...

See this is a politician
family and I am under pressure.

Don't refuse, this is a big deal
and I have already made a commitment.

If you refuse, I'll
be in big trouble...

And What about the
problem that'll...

Vicky relax...think with cool mind.

On a later day, if this child
becomes tomorrow's Prime Minister...

...then you can proudly say Vicky
Arora's son is the Prime Minister.

Who are you explaining to?

Listen stop giving me this crap...

The risk has will
cause a break up in my marriage.

Complicated sperm.

Hurry UP-

Two minutes.

Okay, I will get it.

Go now...

Come on

Who? - No one.


Come on

Who was that man?

No one...

Moments.. these moments..

These moments of mine...

This is our exotic
honeymoon destination.

Yes yes absolutely O.K. Bye

People go to Bangkok
and we've come to Kolkata

So how do we like it.

Feels good... just place a
bed the open air


This mosquito net, reminds
me of cricket's net practice

I will die without you

I will die without you

I will die without you

I will die without you

This was just net practice...

...lets play again...

I will die without you

Mummy drinks

After dad's death she
became very lonely...

so gets relaxed taking one
or two pegs...feels good...

That's true cool ya

You know I wish to change my
profession, start something new


Its enough.

Don't feel interested...

But there is money in
your account. I've seen it

Any way whatever makes you happy...

...meanwhile drop me to the bank
and in the evening pick me up...

Just like that
Vicky has flown away...

...gone out of our hands...

How much more would you use him... get used to being without
him...look for someone else...

if we can get 5-6 months
more with him, be grateful...

I won't be coming tomorrow...

Pain in the sperm.

Doctor will be
available tomorrow morning.

Excuse me where does Dr.Shobha sit

Third row from left.

Ashima are you fine?

Are you fine?

Why are you crying...tell
me what did the doctor say?

Ashima has tubal blockage.

I have read her reports...

...she would never
conceive in the natural process

Doctor she's still quite young...

...there must be some
treatment or way-out.

I understand your point Mr.Arora...

...but some times the body is just
not well equipped for the pregnancy.

I would not like to give
you any false hopes...

...but right now you
need to support Ashima...

...emotional and psychologically...

Vicky don't joke with me.


What happened.

Tuna can not have baby.

Is she alright.

Ashima say something...

What do I say...

...the entire world
can have kids except me

Don't think like this. Its destiny.


This is my destiny.

You're speaking as if I
haven't tried hard enough...

We'll consult some other doctor.

Haven't a child is
not everything is it...

But for me it is.

Our child...

...half punjabi, half Bengali...

...half Delhi, half Kolkata...

...half Vicky and half Ashima...

If you keep crying like
this...even I feel really bad...

to divert the mind..

...let's go out some where...
let's sit there and discuss...


Such things happen
in today's life style.

What can we do...

Listen adopt.

Grandmom our blood is
our own after all...

See I am the head of family,
rest is up to Ashima...

Grandmom there are only
two things modern in Delhi... is Metro and other you.

You know I don't know
about this adoption and all.

I have not thought about it.

I don't know whether we will
be able to give so much love... another's child

I don't know. Anyways
I'm feeling sleepy...

Vicky this is only
my report, not yours.

Where are your reports?
We did your tests right.




Why not.

What problem would
I have? I am fine.

How can you be so sure?

Every one will think
that I have a problem...

What if there is
some problem with you...

Fine, we'll do it tomorrow.
Don't get stressed

No one minute... the question is
not that we'll do it tomorrow...

...the question is why didn't you
get you're your tests done. Why?

Because...earlier I was
used to donate sperm...

I was a sperm
donor...l was a sperm donor...

It was before marriage.

So what about those...
handicrafts...Trading business.

Oh now I get it...

Why didn't not tell me...I am a
divorcee...still I told you right.

It was a marriage of only a
few hours still I told you...

...because I wanted you to
know everything about my life.

How could you hide such
a big thing from me...

Why is it so important
for you men to hide things.

Look at me when I am talking to you.

What would I have told you...

No you think now I will understand.

What would I have told
you...that I donate sperm.

I used to get myself
tested for pregnancy...

It would come out negative...
I used to cry for hours...

And you used to, very
calmly console me...

now I know
were already had children

They are not my children
only my sperm was used.

Sorry, you did it for money.

Oh God.

Its disgusting Vicky.

Why didn't you tell me.

Look now I made a what do I do...

I am not interested just
tell me why didn't you tell me.

What would I have told you.

Did you do it after marriage also?

...used to come home
to collect the sample...

Move move...

Now, what's the point
in sleeping separately.

Husband wife have such problems.

And trust if that
itself does not remain.

I can not sleep with you any more.

I can not sleep with a
man who shags for money.

I feel so stupid...You
kept doing all this

...just didn't come to know.

Earlier I did it for
money but later

O.K. fine when you felt that you
were doing it for social service...

...then you could have told me...

...may be I could have understood...

And where are your children.
I want to meet them... now.

How you can just meet's It's a contract.

What contract...l am your wife.
You're my husband...

...they are your
children and I can meet them.

I want to meet them now.
I don't know...

I don't care just now.

What are you searching for.



What's it to you...l want it.

Not going to the bank.




The purity of water

The purity of water

Yes mummy.

Police is here, they are
saying that you have black money...

...and they have come to take that.

This is only a beauty parlour...

...or some other
facility is also available.

Excuse me, how're you
speaking with the lady...

Are you Vicky.

Mummy you go inside

Just tell me where
did all this come from.

I have purchased it,
don't people give gifts...

It is gift.
- Yes

These 25 lakhs is also a gift.

Good thing the parcel
went to the wrong address...

To Pepsi Ballad and
she reported it to us.

Listen. Where are you taking him...

Mummy you go inside...

I will come in sometime...
just inform Ashima

My beloved didn't show up

My beloved didn't show up

My beloved didn't show up

My beloved didn't show up

I am sorry my dear.

My love didn't show up

My beloved didn't show up

When I saw your divine eyes

When I saw your divine eyes

Hey hero come outside.

Now you tell me that when a person
gets such good news after years...

...who's become a
father for the first time...

...and if he happens
to be a rich man...

Wouldn't he like to
share his happiness?

...he'd like to give a cash or kind...

...besides this one came
from the minister's house... if I take his name then
both of us will be in trouble...

ls there a business like this also?

Yes of course sir, and
its legal. Sperm donation.

What happened.

It makes no difference to you...

...if the some one's
life is destroyed does it.

Just tell me what happened

Sir Ashima can not be pregnant.

We can not have a child.

Me, a sperm donor,
used to brag about it...

...and now I myself
can't have a child...


She has tubal blockage.

I am so sorry.

Forget this sorry sir...

it's like this only now,
life has taken my case.

Just listen...

Where is Ashima?

Don't you feel ashamed of
yourself doing this dirty business?

The inspector suspected
me of running a brothel...

You have ruined our family's name...

...and you ask me where Ashima is...

She has left for Calcutta...

...and if I was in her place,
I would have done the same.

Now get lost from here.

The purity of water

The purity of water.

Tuna have you fought
with him and come here.

No dad.

Then what's wrong.


...bloody villain,
I'll catch him soon...

Sperm donor ohm...

so what's the problem.

What are you saying dad?

How can you support him?

Darling you are a
modern woman, well read...

...well traveled and you are
talking like this rubbish.

Rubbish...your calling it rubbish...

Your son-in-law
already has children...

...and you expect me to
have a modern outlook?

He should have told me...

My beloved didn't show up

These are today's so
called modern women

...shameless - who can give
birth to a child with anybody...

Grand mom you call yourself modern.
Are modern people like this.

Atleast I understood one thing.
- bread also got burnt.

Those who couldn't have kids,
have kids today because of Vicky

Mom it's all science. hell with
your science and arts...

...because of this our
entire family's name is ruined...

This is science...


Your memories

Your thoughts

Smolder my life


Dark, lonesome nights

Frighten me, hound me

My love,

without you I shall die

Dolly let it be, am
not in a good mood today

without you I shall die

Even I am not in the mood

Thank you.

Vicky how are you brother?

Are you happy now? - Brother
if your there won't I be happy?

Vicky dear you've come alone?

Dolly aunty and Ashima didn't come?

No they didn't come.
- Congratulations.

They haunt

And tear me apart

Your memories

Your thoughts

My love,

without you I shall die

My love,

without you I shall die

Oye Vicky I heard
that Ashima has left...

listen am your uncle if you
have anything to say feel free.

You didn't even call...

where are you going.

To donate sperm. You
want to come along?

They haunt

And tear me apart

Vicky dear at my shop, look,
this is the ladies section...

...and that is gents section.

Poppy write the bills...

Vicky Dolly had called me, told me
that you've done something wrong...

...really you've done
something very inappropriate...

What wrong...what wrong have I done.

Uncle I was a sperm donor.
ls sperm donation wrong work.

If it is yes then what you will do.

You will stop me from
coming in the shop.

Go to hell with your shop.

What have you done all your whole life
except giving birth to this Poppy.

If you were a sperm donor like me...

...then could have had a chance
of giving birth to better samples.

My love,

without you I shall die

My love,

without you I shall die

My love,

without you I shall die

Hello, you didn't call me even once

Say something at least


Just ask me how I am

Come back my dear...

...promise will
never make you cry again.

I need some more time Vicky.


Your memories

How are you.

Let it I
could be without you...


Dark, lonesome nights

Frighten me, hound me

My love,

without you I shall die

Hello Vicky

How you dare to call here.

You got only my son in
the entire world for this.

- See I also know to do business...

...but I never play with
the emotions of people.

See you are misunderstanding me.

We have trusted on you
and you have used us.

You have made our house into
pieces, made partition of it.

What type of doctor are you?

Let it be now.

Shut up and see I am
giving you warning that...

...if you came in
front of my eyes...

...and if you tried to meet
or contact to me or Vicky... future then I
will cut you into pieces.

Meet me once, please.

It makes no difference.

All these things happened and
you did not tell me anything.

Sir the reality is that you
have taken his advantage... have purchased car,
farm house and house.

First it is important to take
out Vicky from this situation...

...otherwise the acidity which
is in me will never be healed up.

Dolly is the first lady
who read me correctly.

It is called grip on life...
that she has.

She was shouting in anger on phone
but there was pain in the voice.

Great lady.

Sir I understand Dolly ma'am...

...but now what to do
further that we have must think.

Oh, God.

So, what you are thinking sir.

I don't understand how
it will happen so soon.

You don't give me tension.

Sir you don't take tension and go.

Just leave that
key and lap top here.


Chaman what is going on.

Sir good morning sir

Good morning.


What is this.

Sir this is the file of Vicky Donor
and all the details are in this.

Oh you are very unpredictable sperm.

Sir you don't think now
and take the name of God...

...and dial the first number.

You are right.

Hello yes... Mr.Bhatia speaking?.

Mr.Bhatia greetings,. Dr.Baldev
from Chaddha Infertility clinic...

O.K. ma'am... Ahuja with Mrs.Ahuja
next Saturday 25th Anniversary.

Am I talking to Mrs. Grewal.

Hello, Dr. Chaddha.

Oh my God you recognized my voice.

You know what my in-laws say
that he is a ghost of Ambani.

Yes I have sent silver
anniversary card by courier.

But it was my duty to
invite you personally.

Mrs. Mehta has done another one!

I am so sorry Mr.Mehta... the way Mr.Mehta can
you give the number...

...of new husband of Mrs. Mehta.

He cut it

Can I talk to Mrs.
Mirchandani please.

Next baby, cooler sperm...

After two building.

Madam is not there... he is in
the bedroom with someone else.

Yes Mr.Lee Silver Jubilee

Kapoor or this is
just a gentle reminder.

We will definitely come.

Tuna so what's your plan.

Bank wants to know
when you are joining back.

I don't know.

What you are doing is
not good for you Tuna.

Whatever is in your heart you must
discuss with Vicky, it is necessary.

It is necessary.

Did he feel necessary to tell me?

I don't know

You are so shameless!

Always keep coming here!

Every one commits a mistake.

You forget the past.

Again you are back
on the same topic.

Don't say topic...

...since the last two months four...

...cases have been
lodged by clients against me.

You ask why because their children
have not even learnt to say...

...mummy papa and they
have started to abuse.

The party says that the family back
ground of the donor was not good.

Shake hands at least!

Well tried Chaddha sir,
please get out.


See I can understand your
frustration but I realized.

How can you
understand the frustration?

This house is not a
house without Ashima.

The silence is haunting...

One iron lady your
mother told me correctly...

...that I have
spoiled your family life.

I did it. I have to correct it now.

Dolly says that Ashima
should come back home.

I also think that
Ashima should come back.

Ashima has to understand
that you were not wrong.

This is not possible.

Once you bring her to my clinic
for one hour on next Saturday.

Next Saturday is the 25th
anniversary of the clinic.

See this, 25th silver
jubilee anniversary.

Do you think that she will come?


I told you I need some more time.

I can not come now.

Just see, it is only
a matter of one day.

Even after that if you feel
that what I did was wrong then...

...we will sort
out according to you.

You want separation or divorce?


Did I hear no.
not again you will go with him.

Dad you are again taking his side.

Yes I am...

...because you are only
thinking about yourself.

But she is right papa, meaning I
have not told her. It is my mistake.

Question yourself Tuna.

You are hurt because he was donor
or he has not informed you or... can not get pregnant
while he can become a father.

He loves you...

...even after knowing that because of
you he can not give birth to a child.

He loves you...he wants to be with's not that easy darling.

For once, just think from his side.

It's ok.

If you don't want to
come then don't come.

Why are you crying?

See I have come to your city
Kolkata for the second time.

Show me your city.

Show me Kaalibadi...

...a match of Mohan Bagan...

Make me meet Mamata
didi but don't cry.

But don't cry.


Come, come.

Grace of God,
welcome...come...please come.


Whatever Vicky has done or I got it
done from him was right or wrong

I really don't know...

Call me a businessman or a
doctor or my helplessness...

Nor do I wish to
give any explanation...

But I would like to
ask you one question.

Just stand here and tell me
how you are feeling to see...

...these kids playing in the park.

What kind of a question is this?
All I know is among these... even my child
could have been there.

All are happy, enjoying-

Everyone's family is complete but...

...why not mine.

Just like you are feeling now...

...few years back parents of these
children were also feeling the same.

Before Vicky donor
came into their life.

The reason for their
happiness is Vicky.

Because these
children are from his sperm.

Come with me.

Look, look.

Which among them are mine?

Each & everyone is yours...

All of them are mine?
- 53

01:55:01,235 --> 01:55:03,277
Total 53


Can I meet them?
- Sure.

Yes but don't ask for details.

When this little flower
bud blooms into a plant

Bud blooms into a plant

The pot of wants blooms with it

The pot of wants blooms with it

And so does the demand for this...

...that and just about
everything that money can buy

As the wants are unlimited
and even bigger than the sky


Here, here's you gift.

There he stands, and
another one stands

Asking for money,
and much more money

There he stands, and
another one stands

Asking for money,
and much more money

Very good.

Enjoy yourself.

When a bud turns into a tree

He is quiet fit.

You get the urge to live

You get the urge to live

Sit down, sit down.

When this little plant
turns into a big tree

Plant turns into a big tree

The feeling takes over to
live big, in style and live free

Its a great couple

That boy there in black...

...his hair is like yours...

That little foreigner girl's...

...nose is like yours...

...that little ching chong...

...his eyes are like yours.

Baba was right and I was insecure.

I can not do the same
which you did...never...

I am sorry.

I am sorry.

I am sorry.


There is one more child...

...and I want you to meet with him.

Myself and Chaman
were inviting the...

...clients by going door
to door for the anniversary.

I came to know that
one couple among them...

...died in a car accident
near Chandigarh few years back.

After death of the son
they came to know...

...that their grand
daughter is a donor baby.

They tried hard to find
out but could not succeed.

Due to the old age and since there
was no one after them to take care...

...they put her in
this orphanage house.

...and Mr.and Mrs.Arora the
name of the child is Diya...

...and she's been here
with us for last six months...

Shall we go and meet her.

Sure sure...

Let's go home.

Thank you ma'am

lam sure you are
going to keep Diya happy.

Thanks ma'am

Thank you very much. Thank you.

Thanks. - Come. Come.

Thank you.

God bless.

You did all this for me.

Chaddha sir you are unbelievable...

What did I do? I
have not done anything.

You did all this and
this is your wonder.

The wonder of your sperm

This entire world is a sperm.

God bless you.


Chaddha sir...

Listen there is a
demand from one more party.

What are you talking?
lam a family man now.

Just do it for the last time.

Shall I say yes?

I will get it picked up
from any where you say.


Ok. Bye!!!

The one with beautiful eyes,
open the window and see.

Weigh it in your heart and see.

The one with beautiful eyes,
open the window and see.

Weigh it in your heart and see.

You will not find a
young man like me.

You may search in the whole world.

Search, search. Search, search.

You people go for the door.
I want to be on the floor.

Mix it with our colours.

Go over it with red flowers.

You will not find a
young man like me.

You may search in the whole world.

Search, search. Search, search.

You people go for the door.
I want to be on the floor.

You people go for the door.
I want to be on the floor.

For the sake of love.

Will open my heart before you.

You will not find a
young man like me.

You may search in the whole world.

Search, search. Search, search.

My shoes are sequenced.

The moustache is starched,
and the turban is colourful.

You will not find a
young man like me.

You may search in the whole world.

Search, search. Search, search.