Vice Girls (1997) - full transcript
Three sexy cops will have to go undercover to catch a ruthless pornographer who is murdering young runaway girls.
[siren blaring]
[tires screeching]
[honking]
[rock music]
Hey!
Get 'em, Coop!
Freeze!
Ugh!
[grunting]
Ooh!
Ooh!
Ugh!
Ooh!
Ugh!
Ugh!
Ugh!
Ooh!
Shit, it's a chic.
Vice.
You're busted.
[rock music]
Congratulations, Coop.
Aw, shit.
GROUP: Congratulations!
Oh, I really need this.
[ominous music]
Congratulations on finally
getting your badge there, Coop.
Or maybe I should
say Detective Cooper?
Yeah, thanks, Bessley.
Sweetie, did you
know about this?
Detective Cooper.
I like the sound
of that, don't you?
Ah, come on, Coop.
I know you hate a party,
but this one's in your honor
so maybe you could just
smile a little bit.
I don't want a party.
Well, you've got one.
So damn it, enjoy it.
How about a nice club soda?
You've earned it.
How about a shot of tequila?
Straight, no chaser.
Come on, Coop.
I thought you were on the wagon.
And I thought you
were a bartender.
Come on, Sweetie,
give me a break.
OK.
[ominous music]
Is this right?
Do I look OK?
You know, uh, back
when I was a cop,
we didn't have any nifty
parties for a promotion.
No?
What'd you get?
Well, they, uh, handcuffed
me to the legs of a pool table.
And then the guys--
[chuckling] they send in
this great big hula dancer.
A hula dancer?
Yeah.
And, well, she started to, uh--
why the hell am I
telling you this?
I have no idea.
Pour me another, will you?
Listen, don't look now,
but here comes Chandler.
Looks like he's got a date.
With her?
Not a chance.
Well, Detective Cooper.
Heard you had a little trouble
getting to bed last night.
Buy you a drink, boss?
It's my party.
I heard two cops
on foot patrol
found you passed out in front
of your apartment building.
They had to drag you
upstairs and put you to bed.
Look.
You gonna congratulate
me or chew me out?
That's the Captain's
special way, Coop.
Promote, then pounce.
Cooper, I want you to
meet your new partner,
Detective Block.
Block, Detective Cooper.
EDITH BLOCK: Congratulations,
Detective Cooper.
Um-- call me Coop.
Everybody does.
Block just transferred
from San Francisco.
Well.
Have a seat, Block.
Let me buy you a drink.
I don't drink.
Oh, uh.
Well, uh, Sweetie
serves a mean club soda.
Orange juice
please, bartender.
You got it.
And then there's this.
[sighs] I know.
Eight street kids
killed in two months.
Great music.
Towards you?
I want you and Block
to go undercover on this.
You know Lieutenant Russo?
Russo-- the fat guy
with hair on his back?
Hardly.
He's your go-between
with Homicide.
He has the case summary.
He's at your disposal.
I'm also sending you a
tech expert from downtown
in a couple of days.
Tech expert?
What are we, secret agents?
Stop whining.
You're going to need all
the help you can get.
Look, I've got to run.
Congratulations.
Captain, you're
leaving so soon?
We didn't even get
a chance to dance.
[chuckles]
My protege.
Well, looks like
it's you and me, Block.
It looks that way.
Sweetie, give us another
round and I'll quit forever.
Last one, Coop.
So do you have a first name?
Edith.
It's Edith.
No, really.
I mean, what's your first name?
It's Edith.
OK.
I think I'll just
stick with Block,
if that's all right with you.
I'd, uh, appreciate that.
[ominous music]
So you gonna make me a star?
Sweetie, take care of my new
partner for a minute, will you?
Excuse me, Block.
Sure.
You.
Oh, yes.
You're Cooper.
Congratulations.
You staring at me over there?
Sorry.
Uh-huh.
Follow me.
You know, back in my day,
we didn't have any Vice Girls.
But I've decided, uh,
it ain't a bad idea.
Inside.
You know, your name sounds
really familiar to me.
Block.
Are you sure we have
worked together before?
I don't think so.
I've worked in San
Francisco most of my career.
Frisco.
Love that town.
Great seafood.
[rock music]
I got it.
You're that cop that got her
partner shot because you were
too tough to call for backup.
That's enough, Bessley.
No, no, no, I knew
she looked familiar.
I remember now.
You know what
everybody's saying?
That in a way, you
killed your own partner.
Hey!
That incident was a year ago.
I have been totally
cleared of all allegations.
Now, as of 12:00 noon today,
I am back on the force.
Understand?
[rock music]
[moaning]
[ominous music]
[moaning]
This is so cool.
I feel like a real movie star.
[gagging]
[gunshot]
[heavy breathing]
What'd you say your name was?
John.
John Russo.
Lieutenant John Russo?
Yeah.
[laughing]
That figures.
You got a case sum ready for me?
I left it on the bar.
Great.
Captain said you
were at my disposal.
Hey, wait.
What-- hey, hey.
Where are you going?
Your cuffs.
[rock music]
I hope you understand.
My future's in your hands.
Did we lose 'em?
Yeah, of course we did.
Nobody can catch us.
What'd you get?
Uh-- lots of paper clips,
a fancy pen, and looks
like an adjustable date stamp.
Alls I got was
some stationary.
Well, we can use the pen
and the stationary, and--
and write all our loyal friends
and loving families thank yous.
[laughing]
Yeah.
All we need are some stamps.
Actually, I'm looking
at my only friend.
Jesse?
JESSE: Yeah?
You think it was a stupid
idea to rob a stationary store?
You mean instead
of, like, a fruit
stand or the bank or something?
Yeah.
[laughing]
Hey, Jesse, Polly.
Hey, Coop.
Want to buy a pen?
Let's see it.
Two bucks.
Tell you what.
I got some stuff here, just
some blankets and food.
How about we make a trade?
For a cop, you're not too bad.
So did you guys check out
that runaway shelter yet?
Yeah, we checked it out.
Somebody stole Jesse's
shoes the first night.
Your shoes?
Aw, Jesus.
Sorry about that.
You know, I might have an extra
pair laying around somewhere.
Will you just stop
trying to help us?
We're doing fine, OK?
Thanks anyway, Coop,
but, uh, I stole them back.
Listen, there's
something else,
and it's really important.
There's been a few
murders around here--
young kids just like you.
A few murders?
I count nine.
Where have you been?
Polly, she's just
trying to help.
She's right, it's nine.
Did you know that
last girl, Michelle?
You're even dumber
than I thought.
Of course we knew her.
Take it easy, Polly.
Did you ever see her
talking to anybody or--
I didn't see anything.
Michelle was a very nice kid.
She was just really,
really stupid.
And Jesse and I aren't stupid.
I know you're
not stupid, Polly.
All right, just be careful, OK?
Thanks for the stuff.
I'll see you around.
Bye, Coop.
Man, you dug into her.
Come on, she's just
looking out for us.
The only person Coop is
looking out for is herself.
[phone ringing]
COOPER (ON ANSWERING
MACHINE): This is Cooper.
Leave a message.
[beeping]
JOHN (ON SPEAKER PHONE): Cooper.
Uh, this is John, John Russo.
I left a couple of
messages before, and, uh--
I know.
I'm sorry I've been so busy.
JOHN (ON SPEAKER PHONE):
--I just thought that after
the other night, um-- that is--
well, I wanted to see you again.
I could take you out
on a proper date.
Who wants a proper date?
JOHN (ON SPEAKER PHONE):
Well, I guess, um--
just give me a call, OK?
555-6373.
Bye.
[phone clicking]
Ugh.
[laughing]
Two eager, Russo.
[ominous music]
Strangulation,
just like the others.
I'd say she was
killed someplace else,
though, then dropped here.
You OK?
What?
Jesse, her name's Jesse.
You knew her.
I'm sorry.
I wonder if that was
even her real name.
I was just talking
to them yesterday.
She's 15.
Was 15.
Them?
She and her friend Polly.
Well, maybe she saw something?
Let's comb this crime scene.
Can't afford to miss a
thing, not a single thing.
Detective, this
one found the body.
What's your name?
Chrystal.
COOPER: What happened, Chrystal?
I had some business to
conduct here in the alley.
You had business with whom?
Forget it, he's long gone.
All right, go on.
So like I already told
the cop, me and the guy
walk down the alley.
Bam, there's this dead body.
He freaks out and takes off.
I have a little bit of a
conscience, so I call the cops.
You didn't see anything else?
No.
All right.
Thanks.
Take down her address
if she has one.
Two interesting
items over by the body.
Notice this?
Lens cap.
Looks new.
Yeah.
And this.
What is it, a
piece of plastic?
But it's new.
There's no dirt on it.
It's shrink wrapped.
It says Hi8 Super Crown.
Video tape.
That's right.
[suspenseful music]
[sad music]
I think I might
have seen something.
Sweetie, did Wolfgang show?
Yeah, he's in the pool room.
I, uh, told him I was
thinking about putting
some strippers in here
and I needed his advice.
And, well, he bought it and
trotted right on over here.
Listen, you girls be careful,
because he's on to something.
No problem.
Sweetie, thanks.
I owe you one.
Remember, we need this guy.
This has got to work.
Block.
Wolfgang does not
carry a weapon.
We're just gonna talk to him.
Think of it as a
conversation piece.
[snorting]
Hold it!
Vice!
Oh, fuck me.
Didn't they teach you
anything in prison, Wolfie,
or do I have to
send you back there?
Up yours, babe.
[gagging]
Wow.
Maybe you can teach
me that some time.
It would be my pleasure.
Penny for your thoughts.
Dollar for your death.
Oh, I just love these
little impromptu gatherings.
Don't you, Wolfie?
Oh, I ain't saying shit
to you till I see my lawyer.
Well, you know, you
might not need your lawyer.
Hey, Sweetie, give me a beer
here for my pal Wolfgang.
Block?
Tomato juice.
Oh, what is this,
a goddamn tea party?
Oh, yeah, Wolfie, and
you're the guest of honor.
We need a favor.
And frankly, you owe us one.
About 3 grams
of favor, I'd say.
I guess you've heard there's
been a rash of killings.
Yeah, hookers.
Kids!
Street kids.
- Yeah?
Well, I don't do kids.
And I never whacked
anybody before.
Hey, what's this all about?
Get on with this, OK?
What, are you in a hurry?
Yeah, I got a fucking
pedicure at 2:00.
You still own that adult
video store down on Central?
Maybe.
You know what maybe gets
you these days, Wolfie?
About 10 years in the big house.
And considering your
past indiscretions,
I think they might
even keep you longer.
Yeah, yeah, I own the place.
Big deal.
Hey, can I get
some of that beer?
I'm dying here.
So are these kids.
Russo.
You never called.
Cooper.
This is Lieutenant Mindy Turner.
Chandler brought her on.
She's your tech support.
I know Mindy.
I requested her.
Hello, Coop.
Lieutenant, this
is Detective Block.
[suspenseful music]
I know Block.
Well, great.
Then we're all friends here.
Russo, what do you got?
What about him?
What about my beer?
Oh, don't worry about Wolfie.
He's just about to sign
on with the Vice Girls.
Vice Girls?
[laughing]
It's cute.
Uh, listen, we got a link
here for what it's worth.
Turner.
The lens cap
found at the scene
comes from a Hi8 video
camera, which would
match the Hi8 shrink wrap.
They film a lot of pornography
on this type of camera.
They're not too expensive and
the quality is pretty good.
Well, what do you
think about it, Turner?
Well, I'd say somebody
was taping the killings.
Snuff films perhaps?
Hoo.
And snuff film sell
for lots of money.
Don't they, Wolfie?
Yeah, well-- well,
I wouldn't know.
I'm only into what's legal.
Anyway, I'm a fine, upstanding
member of the community now.
I try to stay away
from that stuff.
Well, we got a list
of suspects here.
I want you to invite
them to your little, uh,
autograph party.
- What!
That'll fuck my business!
Yeah, you're already
fucked, Wolfgang!
Coop, I need a word.
You think about it.
Del Vecchio, in my office.
So what's up, Russo?
Well, um, I wanted to--
to talk to you about the
party the other night.
You and I at the party and, you
know, what happened and all.
But, um, I just--
I-- I get the feeling
that you don't.
I don't what?
[laughing]
You just don't want
to talk about it.
Oh, on the contrary, Russo.
I'd love to talk about it.
I had a great time.
What about you?
Well, yeah.
Uh, you know.
I had a-- I had a--
[clearing throat]
I had a great time
too, actually.
Great.
Then everybody's happy.
So were you gonna join me
for a tinkle here, or what?
No, no.
[clattering]
MINDY: Bitch!
[grunting]
Ugh!
Hey, hey!
What the hell's going on here?
I thought we were all friends?
Detective Turner knew my old--
[glass shattering]
--partner.
Shit.
Are you happy, Turner?
Her partner was my friend.
What, do you think
she did it on purpose?
MINDY: That's not the point!
That is entirely
the point, Mindy.
Do you think
she's the first cop
that ever made a mistake, lost
a partner in the line of duty?
All right, maybe she should
have call for a backup.
She didn't.
Maybe she thought
she could handle it.
I made a mistake like
that once myself.
We all make mistakes.
We do things that we regret
for the rest of our lives.
Look, you're cops.
People get killed.
That is the goddamn job.
So why don't you get
out there and do the job
you've been hired to do.
Catch that killer.
[groaning]
I'm all right.
I just love female boding.
Who doesn't?
Why don't you
shut the hell up!
All right, here's the deal.
You help us out, and we
forget about your little sinus
condition.
You chicks are nuts.
Fuck me.
[rock music playing]
How's it going, Quentin?
It's going great, Mr. Love.
We're selling out of everything.
You know, this is just
like a real movie set.
Dominique Star right
here in the store.
The cops in the back
with a sting operation.
Will you keep your mouth
shut about that, you idiot!
Sorry, boss.
Do you think you could
introduce me to Dominique Star?
All right.
Look, just don't go on about
the movies the way you do, OK?
Say hello, nice to meet
you, goodbye, and that's it.
Got it?
- Got it.
Go.
Excuse me, Dominique, this
is my store clerk, Quentin.
He wanted to meet you.
Fritzi.
Nice to meet you.
Nice suit.
Thanks.
You know, Miss Star,
I'm a big fan of yours.
I've seen all your movies.
And I'm a filmmaker too.
Maybe we could get
together sometime
and discuss the
state of the cinema?
Trends and applications--
[clearing throat]
Nice to meet you.
Goodbye.
Nice to meet you.
Goodbye.
Bye-bye.
Mr. Trope.
[laughing]
How are you?
I'm fine, just fine.
Listen, you
asked me to let you
know if I ran into
anything special
in the area of your interest.
Oh, like that last item.
That was superlative.
Listen, I have
a live item today.
Very tender.
You might say, uh,
a young nubile.
Oh!
Oh, a nubile!
You don't say?
[laughing]
I do say, Mr. Trope.
And for a mere 60 bucks, she'll
do her little schoolgirl dance
for you.
Right now, live.
Well, Mr. Love, I
happen to have three
20s right here in my pocket.
Will $60 do?
$60 is perfect.
Just go on back right
through the door.
You know the way.
Thank you, Mr. Love.
Thank you very much.
[suspenseful music]
Excuse me, miss.
This is the school
girl dance, isn't it?
What?
MINDY: Let me zoom in on him.
Well?
Here.
I'll turn up the volume
in the left breast.
No, it's not him.
I don't think so.
Well, I mean, it's hard to tell.
It was so dark.
What I mean is, you're not.
You gotta be 25 years old.
You, sir, are an
insulting pedophile.
And I was told you were 12.
Vice.
You're busted.
TROPE: What?
Tape anything interesting on
that video camera, Mr. Trope?
Why?
Where's your lens cap?
I-- I lost it.
Yeah right.
Come on, let's go.
But I didn't do anything!
Yeah, well, we'll
think of something.
TROPE: Come on!
Gimme a break!
I have to make a
little adjustment here.
Excuse me.
- Mm-hmm.
I must admit, Turner,
this is the most
intriguing surveillance
device I've ever operated.
Thanks.
Just be careful of the nipples.
They're very sensitive.
Right.
[rock music playing]
Send back one more.
You got it.
Hey, this ain't
what I paid for!
Really?
Ugh!
No, it's not him.
[music - "vice girl boogie"]
Boogie boogie.
Sugar boogie.
Boogie boogie.
Boogie boogie.
Vice boogie.
Sugar vice.
Boogie boogie.
Vice boogie.
Boogie boogie.
Sugar vie.
Boogie boogie.
Vice boogie.
Boogie boogie.
Huh!
Yeah.
Boogie boogie.
Vice boogie.
Boogie.
Huh!
Sugar vice girl.
Vice girl.
Whoa!
Sugar vice girl.
Sugar vice girl.
[sighing]
She must have taken off.
Who?
Polly.
The whole place is empty.
Wolfgang's got it all locked up.
Oh, great.
When the hell
did she slip out?
I don't know, but I think she
really felt bad about coming up
short today.
Yeah, but that's
not her fault.
She is only 15.
So Captain finds
out we lost the one
person who might have seen--
Too late.
He just found out.
Don't you ever knock, Captain?
I take it you
accomplished nothing
here, other than losing the
one person who saw the killer.
Am I right?
We'll find her.
Let me see if I
got this straight.
You three meter maids
spend a whole day
trying to finger a perp with
a 15-year-old hooker who might
have seen something somewhere?
Russo tells me a simple
lineup of suspects
wasn't good enough for you.
Well, I didn't
exactly say that--
Shut up, Russo.
You had to go through
this whole charade.
Is that it?
The facts exactly, sir.
Block.
If I were you,
I'd start getting
serious about doing my job.
Just one more thing.
While you three were goofing
off, there was another murder.
Let's go, Russo.
Sorry, Coop.
[laughing]
Why don't you three badge
bimbos get the hell out
of my store?
Bad timing.
Very bad timing!
[shouting]
Forget about him!
Take it easy!
- Sounds like my speech worked.
- I hope so.
I still need you to
keep an eye on Coop.
She tends to bend the
rules a little too much.
I don't want her to
screw up this case.
Stay on top of her.
Understand?
I will, sir.
You know, an obvious
thing has occurred
to me in the Captain's absence.
[coughing]
How can a scum sucker like
you be in this business
and not know about snuff films?
Where to get them,
who makes them.
You know, ladies, I
think Wolfie here knows
far more than he's letting on.
Now, you see this gun?
Poor little gun.
It only has one bullet.
But where?
Now, every time I
ask you a question
and you don't tell me
what I want to hear,
I pull the trigger.
[gun clicking]
- Jesus!
- You didn't answer me!
That's one!
- Please, don't.
Don't, don't.
[gun clicking]
Two!
Jesus Christ, you didn't
even ask me a question!
You tell me what
I want to know!
I-- I don't know anything!
I don't handle that stuff!
I swear to you.
Maybe three's a charm, then?
No, no, no, no!
It's-- it's in a file
cabinet in the second drawer.
Check it, Block.
You better not be playing
with me, Wolfgang.
- It's empty.
- It's in there!
It's in there!
It's taped up
underneath, I swear!
Got it.
Thanks, Wolfie.
Here's a little
party favor for you.
[bullet clanging]
WOMAN (ON VIDEO):
Ooh, that was good.
I want some more.
Is your friends still--
hey!
What the hell are
you doing with that!
Hey!
Hey!
No!
[gunshot]
[thudding]
Good Lord.
Well, there's
not much to go on.
Yeah, but it's all we've got.
Listen, Wolfgang.
You're going to get us an
introduction to the person who
made this tape.
Fuck me.
What am I doing here?
I'm supposed to be tech support.
Stop complaining.
We're undercover.
Ugh.
I'm a little bit too
undercover for my liking.
I think you look great, babe.
- Are you afraid?
- Certainly not.
Then pet him.
Pet Henry.
WOLFGANG: Tralaine.
Mr. Love, you
skanky smut peddler.
Glad you could make it.
Mint julep?
Thank you.
As you can see, I deliver.
This is Jan, Edith, and Mindy.
Mindy.
An ancient name.
I watched you walk in.
Reminded me of that
beautiful goddess Isis.
[laughing]
You must have me confused
with some other goddess.
(WHISPERING) Mindy!
(WHISPERING) What?
You know, Tralaine, these
babes really dig your movies.
Films, Wolfgang.
Films.
Oh, yes, we love
all your films.
Really?
Hmm.
"Come All Ye Faithful."
A holiday classic.
Is that your video camera?
Oh, one of many.
Marvelous little device, really.
"The Night of the
Naughty Necrophiliac."
Oh, I loved it!
Looks like you
lost your lens cap.
Well, aren't you the observant
little cinematographer.
"The Island of Dr. Lesbo."
Now, that's a movie.
Mindy, it's clear to me that
you are a true sex-tellectual.
MINDY: Ah!
It's funny your friends
don't look the type.
COOPER: We don't?
No.
What do we look like?
Cops.
I'm kidding!
Relaxez-vous!
[laughing]
Wolfgang, why don't you show Jan
and Edith to the dance floor?
I'll entertain Mindy.
Well, I, um--
Let's dance.
Uh--
[dance music]
Loosen up, Block.
Whip it.
Tralaine, you're
one heck of a dancer.
Isis, you're my
wet dream come true.
Why, hello there, darling.
Hello, Elvis.
It's Elroy.
Sheryl, you
really think you're
the only one whose libido is
manipulated by external forces?
Well, I hope not.
I strongly resent
having my libido
pulled to and fro by every
Madison Avenue huckster.
Not to mention Hollywood
and its minions.
[dance music]
[laughing]
[glugging]
[giggling]
Oh yeah.
Hey.
Oh yeah.
Oh baby.
[laughing]
Mm-hmm.
[laughing]
[groaning]
Fascinating.
I mean--
[laughing nervously]
I split and I-- and I go
home and I get in the shower.
And all of a sudden, I'm
staring at the shower head.
And-- and, you know,
I'm staring at it.
And I start thinking, what
if shower heads could talk?
Well, I'm finding I'm
becoming a really big, big star.
What if the damn
thing had eyes?
What if it's looking at me?
Hey, what if it's
looking at me right now?
So, Isis.
You're quite sure you'd
like to work in film--
my film?
Tralaine, it's
a dream come true.
That's good.
I'll arrange a little audition.
Detective Cooper?
What are you doing here?
I'm undercover, Quentin.
Cool it.
You've certainly got the
look down for this party,
Detective Cooper.
My friends call me Coop.
How'd you get into
this party anyway?
I thought it was
pretty exclusive?
It's all who you know.
You know, I'm kind of
Tralaine's protege.
He's actually quite
brilliant, and he's very, very
well-respected in the genre.
You snuck in, didn't you?
They think I'm part
of the kitchen staff.
[laughing]
What are you looking
for down there?
Actually, I--
No, don't tell me.
You lost your lens cap.
Yeah.
Did you find it?
No.
So, yeah, yeah.
So I jumped out of the shower.
I couldn't take it anymore.
[tango music]
Tango?
Why not?
It would appear that
Tralaine has made his choice.
You think she'll be OK?
My impression has been that
Mindy can take of herself.
[laughing]
She really nailed you
with that beer bottle.
I would remind you that
she took me by surprise.
Well, no sense in
wasting an open bar.
Come on, Block.
Coop, I told you.
I don't drink.
I know, but maybe
they've got some imported
guava juice or something.
Come on.
Hmm.
I quite like guava juice.
I haven't showered since.
I can't.
I can't!
Fred, I think
you're full of crap.
[rock music]
I've been thinking
about my older days.
And I'm wondering if I'm
wasting my life away.
To me, the creative
act is one of struggle.
An effervescent battle
between heaven and earth.
A throbbing,
thrusting, undulat--
oof!
Idiot!
Mr. Tralaine.
I don't know you.
How did you get into my party?
Actually, I--
Where did you get
that video camera?
Did you steal it?
Absolutely not, sir.
I'm a filmmaker too.
And I'm your biggest fan.
A fan!
Well.
Do you mind?
I'd be honored.
Ah.
[shattering]
Now get out.
But I've seen all your movies.
Get out before I
have you thrown out.
Out.
We have got to
get her out of here
before she blows our cover.
Come on, can't you
at least try and walk?
I can walk.
This is bad.
This is very bad.
Are you guys ignoring me?
We're not ignoring you.
Let's go.
(LAUGHING) I
just love you guys.
I'm fine.
You are not.
Come on, let me go.
Will you quit looking
at me like that, Block?
I know my limit.
Well, it doesn't
appear that you do.
Look, thanks for
the ride, Block.
Goodnight.
Do you need
anything before I go?
Um-- there's some
aspirin on the bookshelf
in my dining room.
Could you bring me four?
[laughing]
[suspenseful music]
Here.
Why do you have a
picture of you and Polly?
Detective, what does
this picture mean?
It's none of your
goddamn business.
This girl is involved
in the investigation
of several homicides.
If you don't tell me the
nature of this picture,
I'll have no other choice than
to involve Captain Chandler.
Yeah, you're a
good cop, Block,
but you gotta
loosen up a little.
Look, I haven't
done anything wrong,
unless you call having
a picture of my sister
in my home a crime.
Your sister?
Yeah, Polly's my sister.
Our parents were killed
three years ago by a--
it doesn't matter.
They're dead, all right?
Polly came to live with me.
It just didn't work, you know?
I mean, we fought all the time.
Well-- I drank and she fought.
I tried try to convince
her to come home,
but she just wouldn't.
You know, I've tried,
and I've tried, but she--
You have not
tried hard enough.
You know, there
isn't a day that
goes by that I don't
worry about her
and wonder what scumbag
she might have to--
she's a big girl, Block.
You know?
Polly is 15 years old.
She's 15!
Goodnight, Block.
But why did he pick me?
I'm just supposed
to be tech support.
Oh, relax, Melissa.
You techies are
always fantasizing
about getting down and dirty.
Here's your chance.
You ladies OK?
Yeah, Sweetie, we're fine.
Listen, uh, I owe
you another one.
You got that right.
What are you doing anyway?
Modern science, Sweetie.
Mindy rigged up this,
uh, high-tech bullet bra.
It's coming pretty handy.
It's got audio
visual capabilities,
computerized chassis, and
it's fully adjustable.
This way she can keep
in contact with Block
and myself at all times.
And the underwire
acts as the antenna.
OK.
Let's, uh, check
that nipple focus.
Looks good from here.
Picture perfect.
Switching to tracking.
Great.
Also, should Tralaine
want to take her
elsewhere for the
audition, we can track
for miles with this thing.
Hey, there we are.
I'm impressed.
What are you staring at?
I was just contemplating
whether perspiration
could cause any kind
of electrical shock.
It's fully grounded.
Where are you gonna
hide your piece?
Don't ask.
Hey, Sweetie.
SWEETIE: Hey.
How you doing, buddy?
- Good, man.
Block.
Wow.
Mindy, you look-- slutty.
Thanks, Russo.
Yeah.
Detective.
Russo.
Well, I just came by to
see if you needed anything.
We don't need
your help, Russo.
You're the one who sent Chandler
to Wolfgang's video store
after us in the first place.
It was not pleasant.
Well.
I just did it by
the book, Cooper.
Section 12, paragraph 4--
You know, that's
your problem, Russo.
You're a friggin' bookworm!
Coop, I suggest we don't
have time for this right now.
Bookworm?
Well, thank you very
much, Vice Girl.
In my office now.
Yeah, yeah, very nice.
What?
[rock music]
[moaning]
[clearing throat]
And I hope that's
perfectly clear, Mr. Russo.
What happened?
Where's Russo?
You know, Coop, I think you
should take it easy on the guy.
I think he's got a crush on you.
Think so?
So, everybody ready?
Block?
- Ready.
- Mindy?
- Ready.
Sweetie?
For a guy that ain't going
no place, I guess I'm ready.
Great.
Let's do it.
Take it easy, girls.
And good luck.
Oh my god, there's Polly.
Where the hell have you been?
Leave me alone.
Polly, what happened?
Look, why don't
you just get back
in the car with your friends
and leave me the hell alone.
Polly, why the hell
did you run out on us?
I couldn't ID the guy.
It was too dark that night.
I thought I could,
but I couldn't.
Polly, can't you see?
If--
Look, I know what
you're gonna say.
You're gonna tell me
to get off the streets
and go live with you.
What is with this sudden
interest in my life?
What, did you run out
of money for booze?
Polly.
[suspenseful music]
[doorbell buzzing]
TRALAINE (ON INTERCOM):
Come in, Isis.
[whip cracking]
Oh, mighty Isis.
Tralaine.
Come in, my beloved.
I won't be long, dear.
I'm just shooting a very
emotional scene upstairs.
Pivotal moment for the
characters, really.
Oh, I'm so weary of lifting
everyone up, up, up.
Although it is
creatively invigorating.
Don't go away, now.
I do so love auditions.
MINDY (ON MICROPHONE):
I just got stage fright.
[suspenseful music]
OK, I'm out.
Doing some snooping.
Switching to visual.
Nothing downstairs.
Gonna go to the second floor.
Be careful, Melissa.
She can't hear you.
I know.
[moaning]
I'm upstairs.
Here some people moaning.
Must be the movie.
It sounds pretty fake.
I'm gonna take a peek.
Tralaine's in there.
I think he's got a gun.
This doesn't
feel right, Block.
Get in there.
I'll call for backup
and be right behind you.
Good, good, good, Bob.
Now move aside.
Hey, what the hell!
No, don't!
[gunshot]
Tralaine, no!
[gunshot]
Vice.
Everybody freeze!
Hey, what's going on?
This isn't in the script.
What the hell
is going on here?
It's a movie!
What?
Fake bullets, fake blood.
She's fine.
You're fine, right?
Fine.
Fine?
Yeah, I'm fine.
Don't shoot me, mighty Isis!
I don't have a gun,
Tralaine, or I just might.
It was an accident!
Your startled me!
Isis, you're magnificent.
Stupendous.
Sex-sational.
Tralaine, what
is going on here?
We're making magic, of course!
And, well, simply
buckets of money.
The really sick people
out there think it's real,
and I'm only too happy
to supply the illusion.
How old are you?
Uh, 21.
COOPER: Yeah, let's see your ID.
I-- I left it my other pants.
What other pants?
You're not wearing any pants.
How old are you?
17.
17.
I'm surrounded by vipers!
Book him.
Yes, yes, she was fine.
But you know how it is.
They only seem to
last through one film.
The cops?
Well, they had to let me go.
My lawyer is too good for 'em.
Besides, what do you
think they have on me?
A 17-year-old hooker?
She'll never testify.
You can trust me on that one.
Yes, it was a good thing
I was firing blanks.
But the footage
does not look good.
I think we'll have to go back
to tried and true methods.
Yes, I got some good
possibilities at the party.
Mm-hmm.
I'm well aware of that, Steve.
Well, you'll just
have to stall them.
[gagging]
All right.
This is Grandma's recipe.
She's probably looking down
at us in complete shock
that I'm cooking, let
alone cooking her soup.
Let me see that thermometer.
Hey, it looks like
that aspirin worked.
You're getting better already.
Go ahead, eat.
Remember this day?
Yeah, I remember it.
It was before I knew
what a lush was.
Look, Polly, I know
I've been a rotten sister.
I know I've let you down.
Nobody's perfect.
I mean, I'm not.
Mom and Dad being gone
still really hurts.
But what hurts me even
more is knowing you're
out there on the streets.
I wish things could be
different, you know.
I mean, I just wish that
you would make an effort.
You could try.
Spare me.
I'm gonna go
crash on the couch.
[plates clattering]
Morning.
Hi.
I thought I'd make us some eggs.
Is that OK?
Yeah, it's great.
[phone ringing]
Cooper.
EDITH (ON PHONE): It's Block.
Yeah, Block, what is it?
EDITH (ON PHONE):
We received a tape.
What kind of a tape?
EDITH (ON PHONE):
It's the real thing.
Apparently from our killer.
It was addressed to you.
All right, listen.
Meet met at Sweetie's bar.
I don't want to
run into Chandler.
Listen, Polly, I have to go.
Yeah well, me too.
I gotta go.
No, listen.
Polly, I want you to stay
here with me and be safe.
Will you just try it?
Please?
OK.
Great.
I'll call you as soon
as I can, all right?
OK.
Sweetie, what can I say?
Three.
You owe me three.
Yeah, I know.
Let's see the tape.
WOMAN (ON VIDEO): So,
you're gonna make me a star?
[suspenseful music]
This is so cool.
I feel like a real movie star.
Great music.
Towards you?
[gagging]
[muffled yelling]
That was no fake.
Indeed.
Analysis, Block?
The brand name
on that cassette
matches that of the
shrink wrap in evidence.
It appears to be
the same killer.
Go on.
Well, the killer's hand
reaching from behind the camera
appeared to be a man's hand.
And based on the strength
required for strangulation,
I'd say that was
a same assumption.
And this tape was
dropped off, not mailed?
That's correct.
Take the tape back
to headquarters.
Start going through
all the surveillance
tapes of the precinct entrance.
That will take some time.
Well, then get going.
- Turner.
- Yes, Coop.
Help Block.
I was afraid you'd say that.
Buy you a beer?
What?
A beer.
Can I buy you a beer?
Isn't it against
regulations to drink on duty?
It's 10 AM already.
What are you, a
bookworm or something?
Block, I wanted
to tell you that--
I-- I just wanted--
I've been trying
to tell you that--
Yes, Detective?
Well, you remember back at
Tralaine's mansion, right?
Yes, I can recall that.
I know you can
remember it, Block.
Do you have to be so damn
literal all the time?
I do endeavor to be precise.
Well, that's not
the point, Block.
I'm trying to say thank you.
Thank you?
Yes.
For what?
For saving my life.
Actually, I did
not save your life.
Tralaine was firing blanks.
Yeah, but you didn't know
that when you jumped between us.
And I just wanted
to say thank you.
I only did what any other
trained law enforcement
officer would have done.
So your thank you is misplaced.
I'm trying to say
thank you, you idiot.
You're welcome.
And, Block?
Yes?
About what happened
in San Francisco.
I-- I know you're a good cop.
You know what, Sweetie?
I think I'll, uh,
have coffee instead.
Coffee?
I'm turning over a new leaf.
Coffee is a sensible drink.
You want regular or decaf?
Don't push it.
All right, so what
shall we toast to?
Let's toast to family.
I will toast to family.
To all the families all over
the world, carpe diem, and e
pluribus unum, and
justice for all.
You know, I didn't think
it would happen, Russo,
but, uh, you may
be coming around.
Is that a good thing?
Well, you passed the head
test with flying colors.
RUSSO: The head test?
Great head on demand.
You're obedient, Russo.
I like that in a love slave.
Thank you.
What?
What is it?
Your tie.
RUSSO: My tie.
You like that?
No, no, no.
On the tape.
The tie.
The victim had a skinny
little tie around her neck.
Where have I seen a
tie like that before?
I don't know.
Tie Town?
How could I be so stupid!
What-- what's the name of
that guy, uh, the video guy--
Wolfgang Love.
No, no, the other guy.
Oh, Quentin?
Yeah, exactly!
Sweetie, give me the phone.
Wait-- wait a minute.
Are you talking about
Wolfgang's assistant?
That weird, quirky little guy,
always wears the same outfit?
That's the one.
I gotta call Polly.
His name's not
Quentin, it's Arnold.
Arnold, uh, Hilowitz.
I know because I've
checked his ID a dozen
times just to bust his balls.
[phone ringing]
Shit, no answer.
Arnold Hilowitz?
I'm sure of it.
Let's hit it, Russo.
She's gone.
He's got her, I can feel it.
Maybe she just
left on her own?
No, this place is a mess.
So what?
Russo, Polly's not like that.
And look, a street kid does
not leave her jacket behind.
Nah, it doesn't feel right.
Something bad has happened.
Get an APB out on Arnold
Hilowitz aka Quentin.
Call Block and
Turner at the station
and have them meet me here.
Then meet me at
Wolfgang's video store.
I'm taking your car.
Here you go.
Shit!
[muffled yelling]
Locked.
All locked up, Block.
What do you think?
A little persuasion.
No.
No, we don't have
a search warrant.
Russo!
Where's Coop?
She should be here.
Russo!
All right.
[rock music]
Block, Russo!
He's dead.
Ah, shit.
I'll call the Captain.
You two need to find Coop.
Coop's place first?
Might be some clues there.
Then Tralaine's mansion.
It should be empty.
Go!
[suspenseful music]
[breathing heavily]
Hilowitz, you
murdering bastard!
Where is my sister?
It's Quentin.
Polly!
Are you OK!
Mm-hmm.
Has he done anything to you?
Uh-uh.
Say something, Coop.
I always knew you'd make
an excellent actress.
I just had to have you
in one of my films.
And now I've had the
good fortune of snagging
both Cooper sisters.
What a coup!
I know that you're
both ready to give
a really excellent performance.
I'm not performing anything
for you, you bastard!
And that's the key, isn't it?
You're not performing, and
yet what a performance.
COOPER: What are you
talking about, Hilowitz?
I'm talking
about how difficult
it is to find somebody who
can make it truly believable.
You know what I mean?
You're sick, Arnold.
Never call me Arnold.
[locator beeping]
And those other
two, your partners.
What are their names,
Blockhead and Curly?
They just don't have
that special something
that the camera loves.
But you have it, Coop.
And a nickname to boot.
Look, if it's me you
want, you've got me.
Why don't you let Polly go?
Oh, no.
If I did that, I'd have to
rewrite the entire script.
And believe me, that
can be a real pain
in the ass for the director.
You'd be lucky
to direct traffic.
That's what my
ex-boss Wolfgang said.
COOPER: What do
you mean ex-boss?
Oh, didn't you hear?
Wolfgang went to that
big peep show in the sky.
Can you believe that bastard
wanted me to work overtime?
Well, forget it.
Not for minimum wage.
So I shoved a few of my
favorite films down his throat,
and that was that.
Do you think I qualify
for unemployment?
Top five, in no special order.
That's easy.
"Godfather."
Of course.
"Taxi Driver."
COOPER: Naturally.
"Midnight Cowboy."
COOPER: I love that one.
How many is that?
Three.
Gosh, let's see.
No special order, remember.
Right, thank god for that.
COOPER: I know.
Oh!
"The Magnificent Seven."
Interesting.
One more.
"Guys and Dolls."
Really?
Would have never pegged you
for a musical theater guy.
Oh, yeah, I love that stuff.
In fact, I'm hoping
to make my life
story into a musical someday.
Kind of a neurotic thriller.
A real song and
dance man, huh?
You betcha.
Hey!
What are you trying to pull?
You think I'm fresh out of
film school or something?
I believe this is your
gun, Detective Cooper.
I'm not usually
much into firearms,
although they do come in handy.
I'm more the hands-on type.
I think you know what I mean.
Did you get a chance
to view my work?
Your work?
The tape I sent you.
You're a sick fuck, Arnold.
I said Quentin!
So did you see it?
Yeah, I saw it.
What'd you think?
COOPER: Of what?
Her performance.
She was good.
She stank!
She couldn't take direction.
She couldn't hit her marks.
That girl couldn't
act to save her life.
Now it's your turn, Polly.
Let's see what you can do.
What do you say?
Quentin, don't do it!
You asshole!
You killed Jesse!
She couldn't take
direction either.
Polly!
I'm sorry, Jan.
COOPER: It's my fault. I'm
the one who should be sorry.
Hmm.
That was pretty good,
but let's try once more.
With feeling.
No!
No!
Please don't!
Don't!
Gee, Polly, you put
the rest to shame.
Let's loosen you up and
see what you can do, huh?
Now stand on the bed, Polly.
Go ahead, Polly.
It'll be all right.
Do it, Polly!
Stand on the bed!
Now dance a jig.
The cute little ditty that
would make your parents proud.
You don't have
to do that, Polly.
There you go again!
One director.
One set.
You know, Polly, now would
be a great time to tell
him to go straight to hell!
Go to hell.
You're ruining everything.
I know, Arnold.
Ugh!
Get the gun, Polly!
Back off!
Untie me, Polly!
Now dance.
I said dance, Arnold!
This is for Jesse!
EDITH: Freeze!
Vice!
This is a closed set.
[gunshots]
Cut.
Jan.
Are you OK?
Of course I'm OK.
Block, untie me.
He's dead, Jan.
Are you OK?
That's the question.
I don't know.
I'm shaking all over.
What took you guys so long?
We got here as
soon as we could.
Just in time, I'd say.
I killed him.
I killed the murderer.
No, you didn't.
Detectives Turner
and Block did it.
But I shot him with your gun.
No, it-- it was
Tralaine's gun.
It only shoots blanks.
Now aren't you glad you
didn't kill somebody?
I was so scared.
Oh, I know, sweetie, I know.
[crying]
But it's all over.
And I promise you that no one
is ever gonna hurt you again.
[suspenseful music]
It's gonna be OK.
He's an ex what?
Agent.
Turns out Quentin was Arnold
Hilowitz, ex Hollywood
agent and big time psycho.
They all want to direct.
When no one would let
him behind the camera,
he decided to branch
out on his own.
Coop, did you ever suspect
that Quentin was after you?
Not at all.
I guess Polly must have
been next on his list.
He followed her to my house.
I was his lucky bonus.
It's a good
thing Polly doesn't
know the truth about that gun.
What gun?
Never mind.
All right.
Can I buy you a drink, Coop?
No thanks.
- How is Polly?
- Great.
She's back at the house with me,
and she's talking about going
back to high school.
It's hard to believe
that we spent so much time
at that video store with Polly
trying to catch a killer who
was right under our noses.
You know, it sure is.
I remember this one
time I was on this case.
And it was in--
Sorry, Sweetie, you know
I've already heard this one.
Would you excuse
us for a minute?
All right, but just--
just one more thing, Coop.
What's that?
How in the world did Mindy
and Block find Quentin's place?
Sweetie, I'm surprised at you.
That's an easy one.
All it took was brains,
brawn, and one hell of a bra.
[laughing]
Come on.
Well.
OK.
[laughing]
Yeah, uh.
[music - "holly wood"]
Hollywood is crumbling down.
Memories are all that I found.
The only stars that
come out at night
are wearing spiked
heels, fishnet tights.
The streets are alive
with deadly sights.
She came from Nebraska to LA.
Prom queen high school place.
Some say, darling, I can help.
Just take two of these.
There's a friend of
mine I want you to see.
He's the one who can get
you where you want to be.
Darling, though we know
you made the grade.
Do you want to pay the price
and do the time that it takes?
Dreams aren't slow.
You know they come cheap.
But the price you
pay can linger on.
So pack up your
troubles and move on.
There's nothing here that's
really gonna last too long.
Home is where your
heart is, that I know.
The sooner you leave, the more
that you can take when you go.
A broken heart is all
this town has ever known.
And now that you know
the brutal truth.
All the derelicts,
thieves, degenerates
and the wasted youth.
Pack up your grandma's
plaid handbag
and go away knowing
you ain't coming back.
Oh oh oh oh.
Oh oh oh.
Oh oh oh oh.
Oh oh oh.