Vibes (1988) - full transcript
Cyndi Lauper and Jeff Goldblum play two psychics hired by Peter Falk to find his long lost son in a foreign country. When they get there they discover he's really hired them to help find a hidden temple in the mountains where all the psychic energy in the world comes from.
We're gonna die up here.
Where the hell did he go?
Juan!
That idiot
Oh! Oh!
Well, Burt, you are almost rich.
No!
Shut up, Juan!
No!
Juan!
You get back to work.
What is it?
I don't know
I bet the old man knew.
You shouldn't have shot him.
Man: Come on, pitch to zippy.
Only $1.
Come on, you'll double your money
if you can strike him out.
Come on, miss, you wanna try it? One
dollar you can double your money.
Three-card monte. This is the
game for ladies and gentlemen,
not playing baseball
with a jungle creature.
Nine's nine. Miss the red
nine and your money's mine.
Man: Man against beast
here. Come on, $1.
One dollar and you can
double your money.
How'd you do that, huh?
You got X-ray vision?
Are you one of those psychic freaks?
Yo, just keep on walking.
This game's for normal people,
not you psychic freaks.
Nine's nine. Who's next?
Ingo: Circle.
Star.
Wavy lines.
Star.
Try again.
Concentrate, damn it. Your mind
is a jumble of idiotic nonsense.
Where did you get
your degree from anyway?
University of Oklahoma.
That's great.
If we have a stampede,
you'll know just what to do.
Dr. Drake: It's been
40 minutes, Mr. gress.
Relax, I've almost got it.
- You did it.
- Yes.
I also wet my pants.
Nick: This is cold. Right out of
the package. Never been used.
Dr. harmon: Amazing.
This is from the cafeteria
here at the college.
Remind me not to eat here.
This is
oh, god.
Oh, Jesus. Dr. silver: Yes?
The woman's... her husband's back.
Eight, nine times.
Yes, we know.
You know?
How could you give that to me?
Don't you know how hard it is for
me to have to see things like that?
We have to test you. In science.
Now I won't be able to sleep.
What a sight. His whole
someone's had sex on this table.
Thank you very much, Mr. deezy.
That will be enough for today.
Alright, miss pickle.
Pickel, dr weinie.
- Weiner.
- Sorry.
Dr. Thompson has your envelope,
which he sealed last night.
Now, I'm going to do a drawing.
Now Dr. Thompson
opens miss pickel's envelope.
Dr. weiner, when did you decide
to draw a picture of an elephant?
Dr. weiner: Just this second.
She predicted it perfectly.
Miss pickel, you're fabulous.
I've been told that before.
Then they never call.
I'm working for a TV network now.
I predict the hits and the flops.
How you doing, Lyle? How's
that pretty missus of yours?
- Oh, fine.
- He's married to a former miss universe.
- Really?
- Yeah, I don't just move ashtrays.
Jane: How about you, Dave?
Still training attack dogs?
It's a living.
Dave can talk to animals.
Goody. I didn't know I was
having lunch with Dr. Doolittle.
I have never seen you
at one of these studies.
No, this is my first one.
What made you come to this one?
Well, for the same reason as all of you, I
suppose. To learn more about our gifts.
I mean, where do they come from?
And will we pass them
on to our children?
What if two psychics, perhaps two
people at this very table, reproduced?
It all depends.
Are we including baby huey?
I'm not unhappy telling
you that next week,
you're going to be hit by
a very fast-moving car.
Hey, let me eat what I want.
I eave me alone.
As you were saying, Nick.
When did you
become an authority?
Alright, I'll ask.
Yo! Stretch! When you eat fast,
you don't gain weight, right?
To whom were you speaking?
To youm.
No, no, I mean just before.
You were talking to somebody?
That's Louise. She's my
friend in the spirit world.
I'm talking to somebody.
I unatic
then you're a trans-medium.
Gee, that's very impressive.
You think that's impressive?
I'm only two credits shy of graduating
from madam Sally's school of beauty.
- Boola-boola.
- That's great.
What's your problem?
Aside from your face.
Good afternoon. I see you're
getting to know each other.
Only too well.
Fxcellent
and now that we're almost done,
I can tell you how delighted
we are with the results.
This has been the most exciting
week I could have imagined.
Dr. Steele, wouldn't
it have been better to
just concentrate on the
one or two best of us?
Well, we thought of that.
And indeed it was tempting to spend the
last days just with Nick and Sylvia.
Ingo: Nick and Sylvia?
Dr. Steele: The most
impressive psychic talents
I've come across
in 15 years research.
But of course, you other four
also have a great deal to offer.
Enjoy lunch.
Doctor.
Doc
- Dr. Steele.
- Yes, Sylvia.
We've been working
together now for a week,
and I was wondering, if maybe
you want to move in with me?
Move in?
Just kidding.
Ooh.
Firm.
That's my calculator.
But this is my heart.
Oh.
Really, though,
if you'd like to continue
working together...
I have your number.
Congratulations.
Well, he may call, he may not.
Oh, no. I mean about
being top of the class.
Oh!
You, too.
What's your shtick again?
You touch things?
Psychometry.
Wow
what the hell is that?
Psychometry.
Well, I touch things, as you say.
I can take an object
and tell you where it's been,
who's come in contact with it.
Any money in that?
Dough? Geetus?
No, not directly.
I'm a curator in a museum.
I examine ancient artifacts and.
Oh, stretcheroo, I gotta
tell you something.
Yes, one moment, please,
but an important one.
We've been through stretch, stretcheroo,
next it will be stretch Mark.
Where will it end?
Okay, okay. Here's
what I need to know.
Do you have a girlfriend?
Yes I do
I'm sorry. I'm sure
you're a very nice young woman...
- Hey!
- Yeah?
Wait till I offer
before you turn me down.
It's just that my psychic guide,
Louise, is worried about you.
- She says your girlfriend, Hillary...
- Hillary!
Yes, is she hurt? Is something
the matter with her?
Worse. She's playing
bouncy-bouncy with another guy.
I'm trying to be
as delicate as I can.
Hillary? No!
Yeah, well, that's
what Louise says.
No, we're practically affianced.
I'm the tree on which hangs the fruit
of her life. She calls me honey muffin.
- Honey muffin?
- Yeah.
She calls you honey muffin, and
I can't call you stretcheroo?
Listen, I'm sure you're a brilliant
psychic, but no, she wouldn't.
- Hey, cheer up. See you.
- Fine. Goodbye.
You don't know Hillary. I do.
That's why I'm not worried.
If I thought for one moment she
wasn't faithful, I'd be...
Gee, I think this jell-o was bad.
I'm... I feel dizzy.
Sometimes they don't
refrigerate it.
Are you done?
And you're available in the next
few months. I can count on you?
You can count on me, draw
on me, anything you want.
That's wonderful. You're
a very special person.
Taxi!
Nick!
- Nick...
- Steele.
I wish you'd reconsider
becoming part of my project.
It's going to be very exciting.
I've kind of made a decision. I
don't want to be a psychic anymore.
What?
Yeah, I'm going to turn
my attention to ceramics.
I'll send you a donkey.
Nick, that's a gibe.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You know,
I've something on my mind, though,
which I'm sure is nothing,
but until I take care of it,
which I'm sure
I won't have to do,
I can't really talk about
your program or whatever.
Right. Nick needs
time to be Nick.
That's fine. I understand.
Nick: Yes, well...
Dr Steele: What is it?
I'm sorry, there's a guy
taking my picture over there.
Hey, hang on.
What the hell are you doing? Come back!
Come back here, damn it!
What's all this about,
do you suppose?
You're so gifted. Why
don't you know already?
Hey, Nick, you don't look so good.
Women troubles?
- What have you heard?
- Nothing.
You're abusing my smock, man.
- I'm sorry.
- It's okay.
- I'm sorry.
- It's alright.
What do you think?
Well, the embalming techniques would
seem to indicate 18th dynasty,
but for new kingdom,
it's awfully...
Why do we have to go
through this again?
Come on. Touch it.
Get some of those vibes
you usually get.
No! I do not wish
to sacrifice my humanity
in order to be used by people
as a walking ouija board
or magic wand of some...
Tony: Nick!
- Nick! Nick!
- What?
- Thank god you're back.
- What happened, Tony?
Look, I'm buying a used car.
I got it out front.
I think they turned
the mileage back on me.
Will you come outside and
feel the car for me?
Tony, we're very busy here. We've
got a sarcophagus exhibition.
- We're under a deadline.
- Nick.
I heard you were back. I ordered
fish today in the lunchroom.
They say it's fresh. I don't think so.
Tell me.
What's that? Hey!
Tony: Sure, you won't feel my
car, but you'll feel his fish.
Hey, I'm getting mad now.
Nick, my boy. Welcome back.
Mr. Van Der meer. Thank
you, mr Van Der meer.
Listen, I... you know,
I'm trying to work here.
We're very busy, and I don't
have time for nonsense.
Never bother Nick when he's working.
Never.
Are you alright?
You're not upset?
Yes, I feel fine now.
I'm recovering.
Good, good. Stand right there.
Alright, everybody, come in.
Come on in.
Now, this is our examination room.
And this is Nick deezy, our curator.
Nick is a psychometrist.
So, everybody take out your keys
or some other personal effect,
and Nick will tell you
all about yourselves.
Mr. Van Der meer, what is this?
These are the museum trustees.
They're here for a week, and I want
you to help me entertain them.
- And Nick.
- Yeah?
I don't want them to
examine the books.
What?
Van Der meer: Alright, hand up everything.
Here we go.
Okay. Here we are. Okay.
Man on pa: Coming down the back
stretch and heading for home,
it's Bobby's choice
on the outside.
Tom boy laredo charging fowards the wire.
Bobby's choice is pulling away.
You what?
I swear I'm in big trouble.
A gentleman named Milo wants to
stick my head in a pneumatic press.
I'll be wearing
an envelope for a hat.
Just talk to Louise.
I need one winner.
That's why you came back? So
Louise could pick you a horse?
No, sweetheart, I came
back 'cause I love you.
How can we be together
if I don't have a head?
You see what I mean?
Alright. I'll ask Louise.
It won't be easy,
though, she hates you.
Well, tell her I'm a new man. You
know, I don't eat red meat anymore.
I feel good about myself.
- Leave us alone a second.
- Thanks, babe.
What do you say, Louise?
He's in trouble this time.
No, he has changed.
Louise, I'm lonely.
Give me a chance here.
Number four? Got it.
Thanks, Louise.
Five winners in a row.
Louise, I love you.
We'll go to my place. I'll change
and we'll go to the bubbling dub.
Oh, yeah, whatever.
Are you ready to go, Fred?
Sylvia, you
remember Gloria, huh?
I ran into her
at the exacta window
what a coincidence, huh?
So, she's going to give me a ride
home, 'cause it's on the way.
But it's nice to see you again.
No hard feelings, huh?
No. No feelings at all.
Bye.
You took long enough. I
almost got picked up.
What? A classy girl like you?
Come on, Louise.
I'll buy you a drink.
Not yet.
Are you glad I'm
staying over tonight?
Yeah, real glad.
You don't sound real glad.
Nick, is something
wrong, honey muffin?
Hillary, have you been...
Been what?
Taking care of yourself?
Of course.
Oh, god, it's true.
Nick, it's not what you think.
Another man has been holding these panties.
You know I can tell
it's... it's my father.
What?
He did my laundry for me.
I swear.
Your father's a professional hockey
player, who scored two goals that night
and an assist?
Oh, god. I should have
burned those panties.
But why, Hillary?
Why would you want...
I was lonely. You were gone.
I went out with a bunch of girls.
I had a bunch of drinks.
We met a bunch of guys. I...
You had a bunch of sex.
We can settle this
what I did was 100% wrong.
Now I'm not prepared to endure an
emotional bloodletting over this.
So I think you have two options.
You can choose not to forgive me, in
which case a long-standing relationship,
based on common interests,
lovely memories,
and a not inconsiderable physical
attraction would be wiped away.
Or, you can rise above this,
and we can construct a happy
and fruitful life together.
The choice is yours.
Now, which will it be?
Louise, let's kick ass!
Alright, Freddie,
you're a dead...
Who are you?
Talk!
Okay. My name is Harry.
Harry buscafusco.
I'm here because I need a psychic,
and I read your ad in the paper.
May I ask, why do you keep a
shotgun in your apartment?
It's not really mine. An old
boyfriend left it here.
Why does he keep it?
I don't really know. You don't ask a
guy named ice pick too many questions.
Now, let's get down to brass tacks.
Why'd you break into my apartment?
Because I was afraid to stand in the
hallway carrying what I'm carrying.
Yeah?
$50,000.
And it's all yours,
if you do a job for me.
Oh, yeah.
You're gonna ask me to do
something really weird.
It's nothing weird.
Sylvia, my son,
he's missing.
She certainly wasn't my first girl and
she certainly won't be my last girl,
but I did think
she was the right girl.
You talking to me, Nick?
No, I was looking for sympathy. I
must've thought you were somebody else.
Mario, he is still not centered.
Let's do it again.
I got three post-graduate degrees.
I gotta move furniture?
Okay, guys.
What the problem is, is...
Nick, the trustees are back, and
I think they're looking for you.
- I'm leaving.
- You'll be in trouble.
Well, what am I going to do?
You know, I'll get in more
trouble if I stay here,
'cause I'll punch
one of them in the nose.
Nick, wait!
Hi, Nick. Remember me?
Sylvia. Yes. Hi.
I brought you something I
thought you might like.
What?
$50,000.
Van Der meer: Nick, wait!
Come with me.
Well, but that's a lot of money. Why
do you want to share it with me?
Hey, I got ethics, you know.
You think I want
to take some guy's money
and toddle off to Ecuador
and then not find his son?
I can't always count on Louise.
You seem to be the reliable type.
Not that I'm an expert
on the subject.
Question number two...
You always number what you say?
What do you want to hang around here for?
Your job? Your girl?
No, we broke up.
Louise was right
about that, huh?
I'm sorry.
Being a psychic hasn't
made you too happy, huh?
When I was seven,
when I was in school,
and some kid threw a rock through
the school principal's window.
And they took me down to the
office, gave me the rock
and made me tell who did it.
I did. None of the
kids talked to me.
I don't think they were mad at me. They
just looked at me like I was a freak.
God, you've always had it, huh?
Yeah you?
No. When I was 12,
I fell off a ladder.
I was in a coma for two weeks.
When I came around,
there was Louise.
Only for a few years
nobody believed me.
So they put me in this home.
That's when I discovered
astral projection.
No, you can do that?
Sure. I had to get
out of that place.
My body was still there,
but my mind would escape.
Louise helped me do it.
Where would you go?
Anywhere it was happy.
Like the movies.
Do you know how hard it is to buy
goobers when you're out of your body?
Now, I just do it
at the dentist.
It's scary, though.
You know, sometimes I'm really
afraid I won't get back.
And you trust this guy Harry?
He's sweet.
Nick, we're special people.
We got to make our specialness
work for us instead of against us.
We're entitled to be happy.
Besides, I don't know about you, but
I'd feel great finding a missing kid.
Yeah, I'm gonna give
it some more thought.
Why? Your life is in
a shambles anyway.
Look, I don't make major life decisions
on the spur of the moment like this.
I do
but your major life
decision is probably,
"how high should
I comb my hair today?"
Fine. I'll go to Ecuador,
become rich and famous.
You stay here with
everything that's dead.
Well, Nick, you're certainly not
the boy that I hired. No, sir.
That boy would do
anything for me.
The trustees are furious, so
you'll have to apologize.
Now, do what you did
at the Christmas party.
You know, with the keys and the coins.
And wear the turban and the cape.
- You'll find it in the...
- No, no, Mr. Van Der meer,
that's not gonna be possible,
because I'm taking an immediate
sabbatical to Ecuador.
Alright, stretch.
Fcuador?
You can't. I won't allow it.
Well, then,
maybe I'd better quit.
- Quit?
- Yes, sir.
Well that's a fine howdy-do.
Let's go.
No more cracks about my hair.
That's not gonna be easy.
Nick! Nicky!
Sylvia, how lovely.
Thank you for hurrying. You must be Nick.
Boy, you're big. What a day.
You look great. Nice flight?
I can't breathe
yeah, we're like 10,000 feet
above the sea level, you see.
And there's like no air here. Takes
a while to get accustomed to it.
I like to breathe.
I'm good at it.
Yeah, that's right. That's good.
Deep breaths. Hurts, doesn't it?
- Yes.
- Who's the head Shepherd?
Please excuse me for
being so self-involved.
Hey, what you do with yourself,
that's your business.
Right.
Just know that we are both
100% dedicated to
resolving this terrible
personal crisis of yours.
Yeah, thanks. Get in.
Thank you.
Gracias.
It's me, Sylvia. Nick: Come in.
Hey, joyboy, I need an opinion.
Which dress do you like better?
This one or this one. Quick,
'cause I got to hit the lobby.
Do you own any dresses
that rise above mid-bosom?
Mid-bosom? I love
the way you talk.
You probably also say "penis."
All my dresses are like this.
If Macy's wants to sell something, they
put it in the front window, right?
I'll wear the pink.
Do you think somebody could
be interested in you
for something other
than your body?
No
Nice self-image.
Boy, you sure brought
a lot of clothes.
Oh, no. Only one of
these is for clothes.
Yeah, what's in the other two?
Gifts for the natives?
No. I brought my own food.
I'm taking no chances.
This is all dehydrated.
So are you.
Look at this. Perfectly safe.
All you have to do is add water
and you have cheese enchilada
ranchero free of microorganisms.
Yum, yum.
Listen, tons of fun,
it's the water that makes most people sick,
and you brought food that needs water.
Nice room. Let's go.
Nick: Where?
Where do you think?
To find Harry Jr.
You mean right now? I don't mean to be
callous, but it's almost happy hour.
Fine. You rest here in this
luxurious hotel at my expense.
Meanwhile, Harry Jr. is lost in the
mountains with blood-thirsty natives,
cave dwellers that are
hitting him with sticks.
And shrinking his head.
And his head wasn't
that big to start with.
But that's alright. I'm only 50.
I'l have more sons.
Harry.
Sylvia: Don't worry,
Harry. We'll find your son.
My god, are we higher?
- Oh, no.
- What happened?
I just sprayed
unguentine up my nose.
Harry Jr.
This is the spot where Harry Jr.
Was last seen.
He used to get off that bus, and
he used to go up in the mountains,
sometimes for days. Weeks.
What for?
School report. Extra credit.
This is a shirt
that he used to wear,
when he went on these hikes. Now,
Nick, if you would touch this,
maybe you could tell us where
would he go from here?
I et me see.
It's definitely the place.
This shirt's been here before
very strong vibrations.
- That way!
- Here we go!
- There!
- You're sure?
Positive. Whoever wore this shirt
went off in that direction. He
what's wrong?
This isn't your son's shirt.
- Sure, it is.
- No.
This shirt's only been worn by one man. An
older man. Much too old to be your son.
Did I say my son?
No, I'm sorry.
I'm his son. It's my father
that's missing. Harry sr.
Nick: He's not that old.
He's about your age.
I'm adopted.
My mother re-married.
One of my high school buddies. She saw
his picture in my year book and...
Whammo!
I buy it.
I'm going back to New York.
Did you have to make me look
like a fool in front of Louise?
As if that doesn't
happen enough.
Sylvia! Nick! Kids!
Kids!
Alright, I lied. I was afraid if I told
you the truth you'd go off without me.
You'd keep it for yourselves.
Keep what?
We're having a private
conversation here, sir.
Yes. Yes. It's beautiful workmanship.
Here. Right. It's money.
That's it, chew it up real good.
Everybody, bye-bye to the mayor. Bye-bye.
Yes yes
what is it you're really
looking for up here?
The room of gold.
The room of gold now?
What do you want, a bullhorn?
- Incas?
- Incas.
Incas?
Over here, over here.
A couple of guys, associates of
mine, went up to the mountains.
They were up there for weeks.
I think they came very close.
What happened?
I don't know. One didn't come back,
and the other, that's his shirt.
Yeah, well, where's
the rest of him?
Hospital back in town. He's a
he was a brilliant guy.
Now, he could hold an in-depth
conversation with a cannoli.
Is he married?
Harry, this has been
to a lost incan city.
Nick: Let's see your friend.
Nick, puppy, it's
just not a good idea.
Nick: 'Cause there was never a
friend and you're still lying to us?
No. It's just the
hospital parking,
and who knows when
the visiting hours are.
Fine. Tell you what. Count
me out of the whole thing.
Count you out? Nick, you're our partner.
We love you.
Can we find this without him?
Nick, we'll take the
bus back to the hotel,
and tomorrow morning,
we're off to the hospital.
- Excellent.
- Okay.
And what about tonight?
Happy hour?
Why not? And then
the room of gold!
It might be safer
if no one else knows
what you two guys are doing
down here in Ecuador.
You know what I mean?
- Safer?
- Safer?
Billion dollars' worth of gold.
Oh, there's the bus. Race
you for a window seat.
Enjoying your water?
I see you ordered another drink.
Would you like them to run a
hose from the bar to your mouth?
Hey, loosen up. Louise says you're gonna
meet your dream lover on this trip.
There are a lot of
attractive women here.
Yeah
elegant.
- Classy.
- Hey, so what?
See these women? Take away
the expensive clothes,
the high-flown manners and
sophistication and what have you got?
- Me.
- Absolutely.
Well, I mean, that's not so bad.
You're you.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
I could play in this league.
All men are the same
except some have criminal
records, some don't.
I gotta pick a target.
Rich.
How do you tell which are which?
When I say, "it does, too,"
you say, "it does not."
It does, too.
It does not.
Sylvia: It does, too.
Nick: It does not.
- It does, too.
- It does not.
You're being so obnoxious.
Can someone please settle this?
In a Rolls-Royce corniche, the bar
opens from left to right, doesn't it?
Fxcuse me.
The lady is correclo.
- Thank you.
- Not at all.
I'm Alejandro de la vivar.
I'm Sylvia Van pickel.
This is my brother, Ziggy.
I'm here for a small
business meeting.
The price of silver one day
is up, the next day is down.
Will you still be
here in 15 minutes?
Yeah
but I won't wait more
than an hour and a half.
Alejandro: In 15 minutes.
Nice to meet you, Ziggy.
He was very charming. I
think you can do better.
Me? My last boyfriend was a guy who drank
soup by putting his head in it. He would
Nick: Ingo swedlin.
What's he doing here?
Remember what Harry said? Nobody's
supposed to know why we're here.
Well, what if he asks?
Let's dance. It'll give us a
chance to think up a story.
He's coming over.
Think of a story.
What? No, he's stopped.
He's staring at someone's shrimp cocktail.
This bodes ill.
Let's move it, stretch.
Sylvia, look who's here.
This is quite a surprise.
Nick: What are you doing here?
Why wouldn't I be here? They have
a lovely buffet. How about you?
- We come here every year.
- First time ever.
Both of you? Together?
You just met two weeks ago.
- What he means is, we'll be coming here...
- Be.
- From now on.
- Be coming.
Every year. Right, poopsie?
That's right, banana-head.
We met and va-va-vooml
I can't keep my hands off him.
Ditto
Well, I guess I'll leave
the two of you alone then.
Sylvia: Mmm.
I think he bought that.
Yeah. I think we
fooled him completely.
There's Alejandro.
See you in the morning, Nick.
Have fun.
That's what I'm gonna do.
Good evening.
- You're not Latin.
- No.
I saw you dance. I was
sure you were Latin.
Tell me, are you
as good as you look?
I'd rather let you decide.
I suddenly got a chill.
Well, I'm hoping
it's me and not a virus.
I am consuelo.
I am Ziggy.
You like?
Parts of me are
already applauding.
I have something for you.
I have something for you.
Here. It's an aphrodisiac.
It's made from the horn of
rhinoceros and dried rabbit glands.
But no sugar, I hope.
Are there rhinoceroses
in a garage in New Jersey?
What?
A garage in New Jersey. I swear
that's where this was made.
So what? Try it.
And then in a basement
in Brooklyn,
in a police station, in a bag
marked "pcp." This is angel dust.
Honey, you've been gypped.
Don't take it so hard
you think we're going to
let you beat us to it?
You think we're going to let you
find it for that pig, Harry?
I'll come back later, when
you're not so upset. Hey!
I'm going to kill you.
I take it sex is off?
Should I call the police?
Should I not?
I should've known.
How could I have known?
Sylvia! Oh, my god.
Excuse me. Did you just come
from mr de la vivar's room?
Gracias.
Mmm-bmm
Sylvia: Oh! Oh!
What the hell are you doing?
I was just in time. He was
about to strangle you
with this beautiful
piece of jewelry.
Boy, that's class.
What happened?
You asked me to marry you.
No! Your brother
Ziggy attacked me.
Are you insane?
Get off it, al.
I'm on to you like a boil.
The phony clothes.
The whole charade.
Ambassador! What is happening?
I was beaten and attacked.
You attacked the Spanish
ambassador to Ecuador?
Did I?
You jerk. I had that guy
eating out of my hand.
Literally. Look,
there's still melon.
I'm sorry. A woman tried
to kill me, and I...
I'm surprised all women
haven't tried to kill you.
Look, look, Sylvia.
Yes, and I thought they'd
come after you, too. So...
So you tried to save my life.
Hi. I'm going downstairs. They don't
understand me on the telephone.
How do you say "cookies" in Spanish?
I know how to say "milk."
Somebody tried to kill Nick.
Look, he's wounded.
I ook.
That's probably nothing. A mistake.
Somebody got boisterous.
Happens down here all the time.
So what? So you
got a little wound.
A woman. She's dead.
Dead? A woman?
- Yes.
- Where?
She's easy to spot.
She's the one that's
Nick: That's odd.
The police must have
hauled her off.
No, no, no, it's only been five minutes.
So, we'd have heard the police.
There'd be one of those chalk
outlines of the body. You know...
Maybe she bounced.
Like out of the hotel.
Women are soft
a gang! Her gang took her away so
that no questions could be asked.
- Right.
- So we're discounting the bouncing theory.
Completely. A gang that's gonna
take another shot at me.
Louise says gang.
Well, gangs are not
necessarily bad.
You know there are nice gangs. There
was our gang, alfalfa, buckwheat.
Alright, here's what we do.
We don't wait until tomorrow. I get a
car, we sneak out of the hotel tonight,
we go straight up into the
mountains before morning.
They'd never expect that.
Will they expect me to
leave this hemisphere?
- Because that's what I'm going to do.
- Kids,
why let one crazy woman
with a knife ruin
what otherwise has been a
very lovely experience?
How many of us were having a
good time before this happened?
Hands. One, two...
What are we counting? What's to count?
Are you both nuts?
Let's at least go to the hospital like
we said we would. Then you can decide.
Harry: Sounds fair to me.
- Fair?
Nick,
I think Harry's right. You
should go to the hospital.
Why?
Oh!
Great. First I get stabbed,
then I'm bleeding.
You give me any more trouble,
I break you like a twig.
- Understand?
- Yes.
I loved your last movie. What was
that called? Conan the nurse?
Okay, no trouble.
Well, sorry, visiting hours are over.
We can't see him.
So why don't we just go
up in the mountains,
find the gold,
get rich, go home?
Race you to the elevator.
Harry, puppy, I want
to see your friend.
What's to see? The guy's a veg.
Cucumber with lips.
Besides, Florence nightmare
won't let us in.
Mmm-bmm
- Louise...
- What is it?
It's I ouise.
She's very upset.
She says there's a tremendous
psychic energy on this floor.
Probably somebody getting a sponge bath.
I know that makes me crazy.
Follow her. Follow Louise.
Yeah. Yeah, sure.
My lord.
Hi, Burt.
Jesus, you look good. I mean it.
You got some color.
Harry: That stuff is not dripping
out of your ears anymore.
That's great. You're gonna be out
of here in a couple of days.
Can he talk?
Ljh
a little
"go away. I
don't want any visitors.
"Just help Harry find the gold.
It's perfectly safe. Well, goodbye."
Well, goodbye, Burt. I'll
pick up those magazines you wanted.
Okay, that's it. Let's go.
Can Louise talk to him?
I'll ask I ouise?
Sylvia: Louise?
Come on, you're
making me look bad here.
This guy's gotta have some marbles left.
You can...
Harry. Harry.
It's me
I found it, Harry.
- I found it.
- Where is it, Burt?
It's far.
Deep in the mountains.
- Where?
- Wind
dust
very far.
Fli's dead
how? How did he die?
And where?
I want pudding.
They never bring me pudding.
All they bring me is ice cream.
Talking about pudding.
Did you bring back any gold, Mr.
Wilder?
It would help me
find the rest of it.
Linbelievable
how could Cary Grant
have never won an Oscar?
He's thinking randomly. It's
like his mind is leaking away.
Harry,
I once slept with your wife.
Estelle or Vivian?
Both
well, you're one up on me.
Can you think back
to where you were?
Can you put yourself back there?
Yeas
estelle, please,
you're married to Harry.
No, no! Back to the mountains.
Where you were.
Yeas
Sylvia: Do something!
Do something!
Sylvia: Nick, what happened?
Nick: I don't know.
Static electricity. Never
drag your feet on a rug.
- Always lift them.
- You don't die of static electricity.
What's up there, Harry?
What did he find?
All I know is gold.
- What are you feeling, Nick?
- I don't know.
But it had nothing
to do with gold.
- I'm going.
- Back to New York?
Into the mountains.
Where he was.
I have to.
Well, I suppose we're all
here for the same reason.
I don't think so. You see, we
just came for the rabbit test.
I'm gonna have Nick's baby.
Ain't that right, big daddy?
Thanks, doc.
Remember, lots of milk. That's
/eche down here. Excuse us.
Ingo: Whatever Mr. Wilder told
you, he will also tell me.
I don't think so. He's dead.
Nick: Ah, a silencer. In a hospital.
Very thoughtful.
Tell me what you know, Nick.
Right, right. What are you
going to do, kill us?
There's a nurse right there.
She's a witness.
Nice shot. Ingo, you're crazy.
Nick: But nice crazy.
Tell me what
Mr. Wilder told you.
Nothing. He slept
with Harry's wives.
Everybody has to know?
Just that it's deep
in the mountains.
It's far. It takes days. Wind, dust.
Eli's dead. That's it. I swear.
I believe you. Now I'm going to
have to kill all three of you.
Ingo, why? You don't have to kill us.
There'll be another nurse along any minute.
Just think of it as an effective way
of eliminating the competition.
I ouise?
Ingo: Trying to contact
your psychic connection?
I ouise!
Ingo,
your mother doesn't
want you to do this.
Ingo: My mother is dead.
Yes, I know. She's speaking to me,
well, to my psychic guide, Louise,
from the other side.
She wants you to stop this.
This 1s pathetic.
Your mother's name is Gretchen.
She died in a bobsled mishap.
Ingo, she wants you
to let us all go.
And give us all your money.
Nick: Shut up, Harry.
Mama!
Harry, give me a hand.
Harry: Can you read my lips?
That's too much money.
You got any that don't spit? No,
I don't want the whole family.
No one llama.
I'm dying here.
How much, really?
Harry: 2007? I don't want to marry him.
I just wanna rent him.
I'll try another approach.
I'll talk to the llama.
This way.
Louise wants us to go that way.
Great. What do we do now?
Have a psyche-off?
No, it's this way, Louise.
- She says no.
- You're wrong, Louise.
- Their first fight.
- Coming?
Well, I'm in a quandary.
Louise is sure that the
lost city is that way?
No. No, Louise doesn't say
the city's that way.
She just wants us
to go that way.
Why?
'Cause she's trying
to protect us.
From what?
From death
and horrible agony.
Well, we're gonna have to look beyond that.
Come on, we follow Nick.
Come on.
Oh!
- Knock, knock.
- Hello.
Hi. Nice legs.
Thanks. You've got...
You're very...
What are you doing here?
Well, I wasn't tired.
I just finished Harry's hair and I thought
I'd see how you were doing, so...
How you doing?
Fine. Very fine.
You know, I think we should
start earlier tomorrow.
Who needs six hours sleep?
- What's with you?
- What?
Up every morning at the crack of dawn.
On the trail. Go, go, go.
What have you been doing?
Smoking the local shrubbery?
No
Ever since that night in the hospital,
when I touched that poor man.
And you flew across the room.
Yeah
- I just feel pulled.
- Pulled?
When I'm out on the trail,
sometimes it's not like I'm
walking, it's like I'm
falling, and I can't stop.
I think we're close
me, too.
Nick
How'd that happen?
It just happened.
Is it gonna happen again?
- Yes.
- When?
Now
okay.
- Shut up, Louise.
- Yeah, Louise, shut up.
You know I'm curious. When
did you decide you liked me?
I guess when you tried
to save my life,
I appreciated that.
I thought, back then,
"he's really nice."
I thought, "if there was that
I could ever do for him,
"I will
what do you mean?
- What do you mean?
- Do for me?
What, like now?
What's happening here?
A minute ago you were ready
to disappear down my throat.
I don't know. This is starting to
sound a little too much like charity.
I must have said
the wrong words.
I admit I'm not that smart.
I'm not a museum person.
Well, you know, the way it's coming out,
you're looking for a little action.
There's nobody here but
me and Harry, and I won.
- But not by much.
- Okay.
I want you bad, alright.
I dream about you and me
in a house in long island.
I'm only half a woman until I
make love to you. You happy now?
Must we spoil what's been a
depraved and embarrassing evening?
No, no, no, please, please.
Not another word.
This is just how
I want to forget you.
- Screw you!
- No, thanks.
Boy, Nick, you really know how
to show a girl a good time.
Hey, I forgot to ask you.
Can I sleep on this?
Who gives a shit?
- What's the matter with her?
- I wouldn't sleep with her.
Really?
Sylvia
I'm telling you something.
He's double-crossing us.
He's gone off to get it himself.
That's ridiculous.
He wouldn't do that
Nick is a totally honorable guy.
Despite that, I like him.
Oh, yeah? Well, tell me something.
Where is that talking frankfurter?
It's my guess
he fell off that cliff.
Oh.
See, that's why after the fight last
night, you should have slept with me.
What good would that have done?
It would have done me
a lot of good.
Hey.
Nick!
Nick
- did you...
- Yes.
- You found it?
- I found something.
That's it, that's it.
He found it!
That's my Nicky. Come
on, let's go get it.
I'm never going
near that place again.
Come on, Nick. Here we go, boy.
Come on.
Louise, what's really
happening here?
Louise, it's the bad thing.
Harry, don't go!
Don't go? That's crazy.
We're gonna be rich!
Wait! Louise is freaking out.
We gotta leave this place
right away, Harry.
There's no danger there, I swear.
You know what's happening here?
You two are feeling a lot of sexual
tension as a result of the near miss
in Nick's tent last night. Why
don't you guys work that out?
I'll turn around, give you a couple
of minutes. Have a good time.
> In our mountain greenery
> where god made the scenery j»
Harry, you can turn around now.
Already? I'd see
a doctor about that.
Harry, there's no gold in that city.
You're wrong. It's something else.
Gold! The room of gold! I swear. If
I'm lying, may god strike me dead.
Sylvia: Oh, god!
An Indian taught me how to do that.
Underhanded.
Getting pretty good at
it, don't you think?
You swine.
Harry: Well,
this is it, dolls.
I may as well tell you now.
The $50,000 I gave you.
Don't spend it. It's counterfeit
don't talk
I'm sorry I was never
honest with you.
I just really wanted this bad.
I wanted to be somebody.
You are somebody.
Somebody with money.
"Would you like your limousine now, Mr.
Buscafusco?"
"Two tickets for Rome,
Mr. buscafusco?"
"Isn't she a little young, sir?"
I'm scared
don't worry. Louise said there's
nothing to be afraid of.
She's gonna take care of you.
I see her. She's pretty.
- Remember me?
- You bet.
He's only late because of you,
you miserable piece of shit.
Enough of that already.
Nick, you've been to the lost city.
Tell me where it is.
No
The count of three and they're
all over the mountains.
- They being?
- Your nuts.
- Just to clarify.
- One.
- Tell him.
- Two.
- I can't.
- Three.
You!
Sylvia: Why, it's Dr. Steele.
Thank god I got here in time.
Harrison, how did you ever...
Dr. Steele: I assume
he killed Harry.
- Yeah, the bastard.
- You knew Harry?
A long time.
There was only one Harry.
And now there's none.
Harrison, look out behind you.
That's Carl
say, aren't you that
idiot tin salesman?
It's nice to be remembered.
Ingo killed Harry and
was about to kill Nick.
What was the thinking
behind that?
Well, I'll tell you then. He was...
Dr. Steele: Shut up.
Carl, I told you, one of us
must always stay with him.
You mean you guys are all in
cahoots with one another?
Yeas
so you killed Harry?
Harry is dead and
so is the subject.
Now let's talk about something
I want to talk about.
The location of the lost city, which,
I suspect, is somewhere up there.
Congratulations, Ingrid, we're lost.
Feel free to kill yourself.
This is the way Nick came.
I'm sure of it
one thing you gotta
say about me.
I got some great taste
when it comes to guys.
I'm sorry. You know, I did my best.
What do you want?
I don't mean you,
I mean him, Dr. craphead.
I pick one low-life
bum after the next
I swear I don't even think I
ever fell for a decent guy.
- Thanks.
- I didn't mean to say...
No, no, no, we had this
fight before, I know.
Yeah, but you're always
taking it the wrong way.
- Please.
- Alright, then.
Carl: Move! Hey!
Hey!
So this is where Nick sprouted
wings and flew over the mountain.
There is going to come a point
where I'm not going to have to
listen to your insults anymore.
And then what?
Care to see the lost city?
Come on!
What is that?
That's what we came for.
I sense something. The presence
of something not human.
Not human?
Oh, stop. You're scaring
me to death move.
Sylvia: Oh, boy.
Get away from that. You don't
want anything to do with that.
On the contrary, this is
exactly what we want.
Curious. This can't be incan.
They left no alphabet.
It's not incan. It's older.
Ingo: This is the formula.
I'm sure of it.
Dr. Steele: Can you read this?
- No.
- Not enough psychic energy?
- [T's too much.
- Great.
In english, Sylvia.
This is the beginning
and end of all things.
It is the tip of god's
arrow fallen to earth.
- No!
- From
get away from her.
You get away from her.
You were decoding that pyramid.
You were speaking in tongues.
Nick, what is that thing?
I don't know. But it's
high time I found out.
Sylvia: Nick!
Nick: Energy, tremendous energy,
the most concentrated psychic
energy source on the planet.
- They knew how to use it.
- Nick.
And they used it
against each other.
Dr. Steele: Very good, Nick. I was
right about you. You are the best.
Carry on reading
the pyramid, Sylvia.
Don't. The rest of the message tells
how to extract and harness this power.
Finish reading
the pyramid, Sylvia.
I'd give you the finger,
sweetie, but I'm too refined.
She told me enough. Now, it's
just a matter of cryptography.
Soon, Harrison, we'll
have all the power.
So, do I trust ingo
and kill you now?
Or keep you alive, should he prove to be
suffering from his usual overconfidence?
What do you think, Carl?
He hardly ever asks me for my opinion.
I'm flattered.
There, that's the last
of the ideograms.
I just need the phonograms.
You'll have it by the dawn.
Great.
I said, you'd
have it by the dawn.
You're not gonna
get away with this.
Get away with what, cutie?
With whatever it is you're
trying to get away with.
What I'm gonna try and get
away with is to re-introduce
some much-needed
order into the world.
But it doesn't concern you.
It doesn't
no. You and Nick could find your way
back here to fulfill your own ambitions.
I don't need the competition.
Sorry.
Louise, help me
say goodbye to Nick.
Don't worry if you
can't bring me back.
It doesn't matter now
I don't think we would have
found it without you, Nick.
And this is how you
show your appreciation?
I'll give you a break. Where
wouldn't you like to be shot?
South America.
- Sylvia!
- Hey, don't call me girls' names.
It's you. What? Yeah, I know. We
probably only have a few minutes.
What the hell?
Really? That's so sweet.
Thanks for coming over. I'm glad. I
wish I could get us out of this.
Wait a second
remember in the hospital with ingo,
what you did with him and his mother?
Do that for me and this guy.
Yeah, I'll wait.
You do this a lot?
You talk to rocks?
In a moment, I'm going to
have a big surprise for you.
A message from the other side.
Yeah. Good. Hi, perrito.
Perrito? Only my papa
ever called me perrito.
I know. I'm sort of
in contact with your papa.
Bullshit
"I don't know how it got there, but get
your sister's head out of the toilet,
"or I'll crack your ass
the other way."
It is the old man
that's right. He's inside me.
Now listen, Carl.
He wants you to let me go.
- He does?
- Yes, Carl.
He's inside of you, huh?
Yes, that's right, perrito.
- You miserable old bag of shit!
- What?
All my life I wanted to get back at you,
but you died before I got a chance.
- Now, perrito...
- Don't "perrito" me.
All those nights you locked
me up in the paint shed.
I was scared to death
- Sylvia...
- I hate your guts.
Here's for the paint shed.
Here's for what you did to mama.
Surely I had some
good qualities.
Why didn't you ever
tell me you loved me?
That's all I wanted
I love you, perrito.
I swear, I love you.
Really?
Really, son, I always did.
Papa. Papa.
Teach you to hit your papa.
Get back in your body, Sylvia.
I'm coming to rescue you.
Drop it!
No! Toss it please.
Thank you. Move.
Sylvia.
Sylvia?
Hi, Nick.
Let's go.
Yeah
down
- just a second.
- What?
Harrison.
Dr. Steele: Yes, Sylvia?
That's for Harry.
I told you to kill them.
What do you think you're doing?
We're escaping. And pretty
flamboyantly, I might add.
- Wait a minute.
- What?
By the time we got back,
they would have the energy,
they could destroy anybody
who came after them.
Yes. Okay, here's what we're gonna do.
Sylvia is going to escape.
I'm gonna stay behind and make
sure nothing happens to this,
until she brings somebody back.
- Are you sure?
- Yes.
Have you handled
a machine gun before?
Sure, lots of times. In high school, I
was the captain of the machine gun team.
They can be very tricky, Nicky.
Not that tricky.
Better get going.
This isn't fair. I
dragged you down here.
You should leave, and I should
have to stay here with the gun.
Absolutely not.
You've very brave.
Well, everybody looks brave holding
a machine gun. Go, go. Hurry back.
Okay, boys,
what do you say we just
all make ourselves comfortable
and wait for the authorities.
Nick: Or I can lie here and bleed to death.
The choice is yours.
This isn't going to get in the
way of our friendship, is it?
Oh, let's just kill him.
Then we tap into the energy.
Goodbye, Nick. Sylvia: Don't!
Don't do it
what are you doing up there?
I want you and these other mutants
to walk out of here right now.
Or what?
I don't need a formula
to draw this energy.
No! No!
You saw what happened
to Mr. Wilder.
He was only touching his friend,
who was touching the pyramid.
You'll destroy yourself,
along with the rest of us.
That's right. Along
with the rest of you.
- Let's go.
- Okay.
Il et me kill him
Nick: Sylvia, let go.
Sylvia
Shit!
Sylvia, let go!
Louise, help her!
Sylvia.
How? What happened?
There was a calm.
The room
the whole thing turned to gold.
And I felt an incredible warmth.
And there was Louise,
smiling, saying goodbye.
What is it?
She went into the light.
She saved me.
Nick, Louise is gone.
We'd like to check in, please.
Yes, Mr. deezy.
We're a little crowded, so I'm going
to have to put you in different wings.
I hope you don't mind.
I'm that way.
I'm over there
take care of your leg.
Hi
May I come in a second?
Yeah, sure. I was just eating.
So, I'm going to leave
for New York tonight.
Okay. I'm going to stay here a
little while longer. I love it here.
Oh, yeah, it must be an awful
big adjustment for you,
still without Louise, huh?
It's okay.
Louise moved on to
a higher spiritual plane.
I guess she felt that I was ready
to be on my own. You know?
- Well, then...
- Yeah, have a good flight.
What are you doing?
I'm learning about the
person who held this glass.
- But, Nick...
- I'm getting a very clear image.
This is a person who acts as if she
has a lot of confidence in herself
but she doesn't. She's gotten involved
with a guy who usually isn't her type.
She doesn't want to admit it 'cause
she's afraid of getting hurt.
But she's fallen
in love with this guy.
And that's what I'm
getting from this glass.
Nick, I never
touched that glass.
Apparently, the waiter
is in love with you.
Well, I'd better go talk to
him, and let him down easy.
Nick
I touched this cup.
Sylvia, I'm sorry. Your head.
Oh, no, you okay?
Yeah
what is it?
There's someone here
I ouise?
No
Oh, my god!
It's Harry!
Js I've got a ticket,
no turning back
sl my destination
js the sea of trouble,
the land of pain
j you're sending me
where it always rains
js oh, reconsider,
I'm beggin' you
js some hesitation
js I'm holding on to my sanity
j I feel the beginning
of emergency
js my hands are slipping
js oh, please,
don't let me fall info
js this hole in my heart
js that goes all the way
fo China
js you got to fill it up
with love
j before I fall inside of
js this empty hole in my heart
js that goes all the way
fo China
js and though you can't
see the bottom
js believe me,
it's a long way down
js I'm on a planet
without a plan
js oh, it's so lonely
js I need fo see you
to get out of here
js there's something deadly
in this atmosphere
sl I'm in a desert
without 3 drink of
dp your sweef water
js you're my oasis
in the burnin' sand
js I'm out of danger
when you touch my hand
js throw me a lifeline
js I'm standin' on the edge of
js a deep, dark hole
js that goes all the way
fo China
js you got to fill it up
with love
j before I fall inside of
js this empty hole in my heart
js that goes all the way
fo China
js and though you can't
see the bottom
js believe me,
it's a long way down
Js oh, the gun was loaded
I didn't know
j I pulled the trigger
js I heard a noise,
the room went dark
js I saw the bullet
goin'in my heart
js I feel so dizzy
js oh, please don't lef me
fall info
js this hole in my heart
js that goes all the way
fo China
js you got to fill it up
with love
j before I fall inside of
js this empty hole in my heart
js that goes all the way
fo China
js and though you can't
see the bottom
js believe me,
it's a long way down
Is [ Got a hole in my heart
js you got to fill it up
with love
ls [ Got a hole in my heart
js you got to fill it up
with love
js oh, and you can't
see the bottom
jd you can't see the bottom
jd you can't see the bottom
js believe me,
it's a long way down
js oh, I got a hole in my heart
js that goes all the way
fo China
js you got to fill it up
with love
j before I fall inside of
js this empty hole in my heart
js that goes all the way
fo China
js and though you can't
see the bottom
js believe me,
it's a long way down
js oh, I got a hole in my heart
js you got to fill it up
with love
ls [ Got a hole in my heart
js you better fill it up
js fill it up, fill it up,
fill it up with love
js oh, I got a hole in my heart
js and though you can't
see the bottom
jd you can't see the bottom
jd you can't see the bottom
js believe me, it's a long way
ls [ Got a hole in my heart
js you better
fill it up with love
js oh, I got a hole in my heart
js that goes all the way
fo China >