Very Bad Things (1998) - full transcript

Honey, you sent in all the
deposit checks, right?

Yeah, I think so.

What do you mean,
you think so?

I mean... what? I mean,
I sent a lot of checks.

I think I sent them all.

The... the wedding
cake check?

Sent it.

Ok, the photographer?
Sent it.

Ok, the hotel
for my parents?

Sent it. The band?

Brought that one
to them, yeah.



Ok? Yeah.

The tent and judge.
Judge Townsend.

Uh, honey, the tent?
I don't know about that.

You forgot
the tent check?

I th...

Why? Why would... why did you
forget the tent check?

Why? I forgot.
I forgot.

You can't play around
with these tent people.

You can't. You can't
play around with them.

I know. I've been
dealing with them,

And believe me,
I'm not playing with them.

Kyle...

I have been doing all of
this by myself, ok?

I know. I have been
busting my ass.



I have done absolutely
everything, everything,

Everything, everything,
everything by myself.

I know.

Ok, everything has
been on my own, ok?

Ok, I've been
doing it all.

I bet
you didn't forget.

The bachelor party
checks.

Ok... is that what this...
is that what this is about?

No!

Because we could talk about it. No!

Let's go over it again.
No, no, no.

No, It's ok.

No, I'm just saying
that I'm sure.

That those checks found their
way to the mailbox.

That's all.

I wouldn't know.

It amazes me, you know,
It really amazes me.

How you and your little fun bunch
can become so organized.

When it comes to
mobilizing to Vegas.

It's not...
It's not me doing it.

It's them
handling it all.

And I'm sure that Boyd is the creative
force behind all of this.

Yeah, Boyd... Boyd's
organizing the whole thing.

Robert Boyd is a big
sack of hot gas.

Robert Boyd.

Tina... great, ok.
Here's the deal...

We're talking 5 guys.

Nice guys, Tina.
My friends.

Yeah. Well,
I'm calling you directly.

So you don't have
to go through the agency.

Hey! Could you please
not enter the house?

That's correct.
Cash straight to you.

Could you hold on?

Could you please
wait off the property?

We're just trying
to sneak a peak.

Well, just stay off the property until
I'm off the phone.

Why?

Because that's the way
we do it.

Chop, chop.

So, it's 5 guys,
900 bucks, just dancing.

Anything else is extra.

Are you in?

It's just how I feel. I feel that,
at some point in time,

You're going to have to reevaluate
some of your friendships.

Well... ok.

Specifically...
specifically who?

Charles Moore.

You don't like Moore?

I just don't see him
in the big picture.

Ok... but realize,

I've known him since
the third grade.

Well, he's weird.

He's quiet.

He's weird.

Hon, he just
doesn't talk a lot.

Why? I mean,
is he mildly retarded?

He never speaks!
He's a mechanic.

Well, he's weird, Kyle,
and frankly, I really...

I... I expect more
from you.

Yeah, ok, wh...
you expect more what?

You are going to be
hung over for 3 days,

Like those guys on Oprah who...
who get drunk.

And have disgusting sex
with prostitutes,

And then they go ahead, and they
just say their vows.

They say their vows
with the stench.

Of cheap hotel whore
sex all over them.

That's absurd.
Listen to yourself.

It's Vile, Kyle.
It's not Vile.

I've seen it on television.
I'm not going to...

What do you mean it's not Vile?!

I'm not going
to marry you.

With the cheap smell
of hotel whore sex...

I am not to be
common, Kyle, ok?

I am a creature
like no other.

I know that. I am a creature
like no other.

And I will not... I
will not be common.

Do you understand me?
I got you.

Is that too much to ask, Kyle?
Is it too much to ask?

You won't be common!

Honey, take it.

Are we going to eat,
or am I just going to...

Honey...

Do you love me?

Of course I...
I love you.

Of course I love you.

How much?

I love you
with all my heart.

Kiss me.

Look, it's just
insecurity.

I don't know. She's just
really been stressing.

It's insecurity, nut-gnawing
gut-splitters.

What does that mean?

It means
she's insecure.

About what?

About...

Mike Berkow.

Just a second.
All right, big man.

14.3. Thank you.
17.5.

4-6... 29.83...

at 9.

Look at him.

I'm amazed that the windows.

Don't blow out of their
fucking sockets.

With all
the ass-puckering rage.

In these
soulless lizards.

You know, I just...
I just want her to be happy.

Same alarm clock
every morning,

Same two pops on
the same snooze button.

Same shower, towel, toothbrush,
razor, blazer,

Hair pump, gel spray.
It's a fucking epi...

the beatrice accounts.

It's an epidemic,
Fisher.

You're getting
married, baby bub.

I'm not going to candy coat it.
It just gets worse.

It's an 18-wheel
cement truck.

That's going to crush every bone
in your big body.

Well, I'm not breathing
right lately, either.

Course you're not.

I... I just start getting,
like, lightheaded and dizzy,

And then the next
thing I know, I realize

I haven't breathed in, like... in two minutes.
That's because...

Hey, hey, hey... we're leaving from
my house in 3 hours, ok?

If you want to come, you better get
your numbers in order by then.

All right,
first of all...

No "first of all."
I'm not in a game mood, ok?

We were having
a conversation, ok?

You never said
"excuse me."

I'm sorry.
Fisher, I'm sorry.

That's all right.
We'll be there, Adam.

I know you'll be ready.
Michael... 3 hours.

Ok. All right.

Look at that big, blind,
gawky bitch boy.

Well, he's your brother.

Freaks me out, man.
You know that?

Panic junky,
I want to smack him.

I don't
deserve that.

Kyle Fisher.

We've got problems.

Problems?

Seating problems.

Ok, well, uh...

Ok, first they said
it wasunderstood.

That we were supposed to have gold-trimmed,
padded seats, right?

And now they're
trying to tell me.

That there's some sort
of misunderstanding.

And that now we can't
have padded ones!

Ok, so what kind of seats
can we have, then?

Nonpadded ones!

So what do
we do about it?

Well, you're going
to go down there.

Go down to where?

You're going to go down, and
you're going to straighten out.

Those chair people.

What... honey, I'm going
to Vegas in 3 hours.

I need your help!

I'll call
from the road.

Do you love me?

Do... more than I ever imagined I could
ever love anyone.

Straighten out
these chairs?

Ok, listen, we're
leaving from Adam's.

Why don't you come down
and see me off?

Maybe.

Timmy, Adam junior,
take a good look at this.

And notice how clean-cut.

And well-behaved
they all appear,

Respectable members
of modern society.

That's us.

Ok, boys... smile.

Smile, dad. Smile.

Smile!

Hey. Smile...

Smile, smile...

we're smiling!
And all right.

As you were!

Good-bye.
I love you.

I love you.

Have a really,
really good time.

I'll be back tomorrow.

No, hey, hey, hey...

No, no, don't let anybody smoke
in the car, honey...

Because Adam Junior gets sick, ok?
Ok, I'm...

Did you hear that, Boyd? No smoking.
I'm so serious.

I'll drive. Come on.
Not on your life.

Boyd, do you promise on camera
that you won't smoke?

Uh... I won't smoke.

Good. Thank you.

I'm coming, honey!

Bye, dad.

Don't smoke!

We won't smoke.

Bye! Bye!

Bye! Bye! Bye!

Vegas!

All right...

Dog needs a flea bath.
Let's go.

Oh, what if
I bring the wrong thing?

What if I bring
cucumber soup?

Who cares!
You're a fucking moron!

Shut up! It's my
fucking opinion.

It's a stupid
fucking opinion, ok?

Oh, thank you.

You have developed this incredibly
annoying habit of talking just...

For the pleasure of
hearing yourself speak.

Listen, he...
Boyd brought up statistics...

Hey, hey, hey!
Leave me out of this.

The hell I did.

The hell you didn't.
You said...

The hell I did...

You said one out of every two
marriages ends in divorce.

You said it.
- I didn't...

You're an asshole,
Adam.

You're an asshole.

Oh, why am I
an asshole?

Multiple reasons.

Give me one. No.

Name one reason. No!

Give me one reason.
I'm not going to give you...

You can't give me a reason.
I don't have to...

Give me one reason.
Give it to me.

Shut up!

I want one reason.

Shut up for one second.

Give me a reason.
I want a reason.

Shut up! Shut up!

You're just an asshole.
Live with it.

Is this Culver
Party Rentals?

Yeah, can I speak to whoever's in
charge of chairs?

Can't you wait till
we get back there?

I'll pay you
for the call, ok?

I'm on a monthly rate, here.

How am I going to tell what call
is your call?

Just use my phone.

Hey, don't be ridiculous.

No, you're being ridiculous.
You're being a tightwad!

A tightwad, huh?
- Yeah!

Why don't you just say what you mean, huh?
Jew! Say it!

All right, you're a Jew!

Yeah, "Jew." I knew it.
You're being a Jew!

I knew it was coming,
you goy is her fuck.

Shut up! Hello?

Cheap bastard!

I'd like to speak to somebody
in chairs, please.

Hola.
You drive like a Jew!

Ah, how does
a Jew drive?

4 hours and 15 minutes. I can make
Vegas in 3 and change...

I'm not getting a ticket.

I'm not going to get
a ticket for you.

You slow-driving
son of a bitch!

Yes? Is this...
let's go!

Tony, this is Kyle Fisher.

I have a wedding
in a week.

We have... you're doing my wedding
with the chairs.

Every car is passing us.

Yeah, I'll hold.

Hold? You're going to hold?

For Chris sakes, call him when
we get there.

You're being a Jew!

Please get off
the goddamn phone...

Yes, I'm holding
for Tony in chairs...

Don't hold anymore!
Hang up!

It's 45 cents
a minute!

No, I'm not Tony.
I'm holding for Tony.

Hello?

Hi.

Hello? Hey!

Is it... hello...
Baby, is that you?

Hi.

Hi.

Are you calling me from jail?
Not yet.

Hey, did you check out
the chair situation?

What?
What about the chairs?

The chairs?
I made 3 calls...

What? 3 calls?

But I can't stop thinking about
how much I love you.

Well, you should.
Well, I do.

What are you doing?

Oh, just a bit
of organizing.

Are you nesting?

Yeah, I'm nesting.

Go have some fun.

Not too much, ok?

Ok, I'm going to go have fun
with my friends,

But not too much.

And you know
in your heart.

That it is
just a matter of time...

All day, bullets flying,
babies are getting shot.

If I'm the king
of Israel, right...

Israel does not
have a king.

What the hell
do they have?

They have a president...
president, yahoo.

Ok, I'd say to myself,
"yahoo"...

Hee hee hee.

"Take a look at the map."
Yeah?

"Look what's
all around you.

"People who are wishing
horrible, bad, bad things.

For you and your people."

The buck's going
to stop right here, buddy.

Not going to happen
with me.

My kid don't know the 6 fucking
new England states,

He has trouble
with geography,

I'm not going to stick that shit
in his face.

I'm going to help
the little guy, you know?

That's right.

Put him in the car.

Take him to Maine
for the lobster dinner.

That's how you teach a kid.
Go skiing in Vermont.

That's it.
Take him skiing!

Or Yankee stadium
for a hot dog.

That's the way.
You got to...

I'm just saying, it's not...
you don't stare him down.

No, don't
stare him down.

I'm not going
to do it!

Do not...
eyeball your kids.

That's my point exactly!

What?
What is your point?

Take Mexico!

Think about it.
The Mexicans would love it.

They're dying for
a little order down there.

First of all,
you get what I'm saying.

You know exactly
what I'm saying.

Let the Israelis
work it out!

They kind of
all look alike!

The Jews
and the Mexicans!

So I think, on a whole,
your average Joe Mexican's.

Going to have less of a problem
getting his head around.

The whole fucking assimilation thing!
Am I right?

Yeah!

I mean, I tell mine...

I tell mine
they're little men.

I tell them
that they're strong,

That they
make me feel joy.

I let them know, man.
I mean, I really...

I really let them know
that they are just...

Just as important.
They mean just as much.

You know what I'm saying?
Mm-hmm. Yes.

Just as much, man.
Yes, yes.

And you're
their godfather.

I know,
and I'm honored.

No, no, no, no, no.

No? I'm not.

No, no, you're
the godfather,

But I'm saying...
what I'm saying is,

If anything
ever happens to me...

Oh, brother,
don't even... yeah.

Don't worry about it.

Because that is
the point here, ok?

That is what
I'm driving for.

Because, man,
when the big storm comes.

And all the forests
are knocked down.

And all the rocks
have fallen away.

And... and the leaves
are bare,

What's left?

What is left?

The little trees.

The little fellas
that the storm didn't see.

The tiny, little fellas.
That's where it's...

The stripper's here.

Excellent.

Gentlemen,

This... is Tina.

Hey, boys.

Hi.

Fish!

She's all yours, buddy.

Anything you want, man,
bought and paid.

Whoo!

I can't do it.
I can't do it.

I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.

I'll take a ride.

I didn't jump
the gun, did i?

I feel the vibe. I feel the
vibe a little bit.

I'm Michael.

Did I do OK out there?

Yeah, you kidding?

I'm just in Vegas
gambling, spending money.

You're so beautiful.

Did you win anything?

Look at this.

Not what you thought, huh?

Woo! Ha! Ha!

Woo!

Got an awful big hit.

Ok, you do know
it's 500 right?

Yeah, over there,
no problem,

But yeah,
500 of my dollars?

Right.

But I thought...
Boyd didn't pay?

No, Boyd didn't pay.
It's 500.

Straight sex,
nothing kinky.

No, no, I'm not going to use you
as a hand puppet or anything.

I just want to make
sweet love to you.

Because you have no idea
what you've gotten into.

Oh, yeah!

Trying to get his legs up,
so he can try to...

See, you didn't think it would be
like this, did you?

You thought I was some punk,
didn't you.

You thought I was
a little punk.

Pumped up! Pumped up!

Good boy.

This isn't work,
is it? Not work.

Look at
the jump he did,

Sticking it in there.

Take it!

Take it! Take it!

Easy, baby.

Aah!

Cool. Ha ha!

You fucking maniac!

You...

I fucked up.

Oh, my god!

Oh!

Jesus Christ!

Don't touch her!
Don't touch her!

Call 9-1-1!

Don't move.

We were playing.
We were playing.

I think she's dead.

How do you
know she's dead?

She's got no
fucking pulse!

Listen, you don't know
what the hell you're doing.

Just get back.

All right, where do you look?
What side of the neck?

Left, left,
left side.

Either side,
you idiot!

I'm calling 9-1-1.

We were playing,
and she bumped her head.

Bumped?! Bumped?!

She's got a fucking spike
in her head!

Adam, wait! What?

What are you doing?

What do you think
you're doing?

I'm calling
the ambulance!

Just wait one...
wait one second. Ok?

Michael? Michael?

I'll take it out.

I can take it out.

What the fuck
have you done?!

Why are you calling
an ambulance? She's dead.

I'm sorry. Sorry.

Oh, god, just call the police.
No.

Just call 9-1-1.

I slipped.

What did you do,
goddamn it?

Nothing.

What the fuck did you do,
you little shit?!

Get out of here!

All right, all right,
just calm down.

It was an accident!

Everybody just get a hold of themselves,
all right?

You are a lying deviant!

It was an accident!

Are you sure...
yes, I'm sure!

What were you doing?

The floor was wet,
and so I slipped.

Why was
the floor wet?!

I don't know.

Why, goddamn it?!

Why, you little
fucking pervert?!

Come on, damn it,
take it easy.

You don't fucking know!

Calm down.

We're not helping anything
by losing our temper.

Let's just get
our heads together. OK?

Whatever we associate in our nervous system
determines our behavior.

You fucking guys. You fucking guys.
You fucking guys.

You fucking guys!

Now let's just
take a second here,

And take a hold of the situation
and review our options.

We call the police!

Ok, call the police,

That's good.
That's one option.

That is not an option!

This is not
multiple choice here.

Yes, it is!

There are always
options, Adam.

You fucking guys!

We can definitely
call the police.

That's an easy call.

Now, if we call the police,
what happens?

They come up here,

they find a dead prostitute
in the bathroom,

and then they ask us
what happened.

What the hell are you going to
tell them?

You had nothing
to do with it?

You didn't know
she was a prostitute?

I mean, that it was
all Michael here?

Your brother,
by the way.

You don't mess around
with a homicide...

what about the alcohol,
narcotics...

don't tell me
there are no options.

There are always
fucking options.

What is the choice?
What options?

We can bury her
out in the desert.

Oh, sure, why not?

No, no,
he's right, he's right.

He's right.
He's right.

We could take
her up to Red Rock.

Find some nice
quiet place

and just put her
in the ground.

We can do this. We can get her
out of here.

Have you lost
your fucking mind?

Nobody knows
she's here.

I called her personally.
Nobody knows.

Her blood is
all over the bathroom.

Don't you think we got a little bit of
a DNA problem here?

It's a marble floor.
We can clean it up.

They've got us on accessory
to murder, Adam.

It's not accessory, ok?
I didn't do shit.

That's not
the point, Adam.

I mean, the room is
covered with blow,

moore looks like he went at it with
a fucking mountain lion.

I mean, the room looks like the
Manson family stayed here a month.

This is a major thin-ice situation
we got here.

I'm getting married, guys.

I have got a wife, and I've got two boys, ok?
Don't tell me.

Let's just take
a vote, a simple vote.

We got two choices:

one, we clean up
this mess right now,

bury it out
in the desert,

go home,
and never look back.

Or, we can easily
call the police,

roll the dice,
take our chances,

and pray to god that it's only
Michael who falls.

The choices are simple:
it's desert or police.

Desert.

The fucking desert.

Uh-uh.

Fish,

I owe you, bro.
I owe you, man.

Desert.

Nobody knows
she's here.

Oh, God... oh, God.

How do we get her
out of here?

We can wrap her up
in blankets,

bring the car around to the back
of the hotel,

lower her gently down
off the balcony,

put her in the car.
We're done.

Jesus Christ,
have you done this before?

The reality is, you take away the horror
of the situation,

take away the tragedy
of the death,

take away the moral
and ethical implications

of all the crap that you've had
conditioned and beaten

into your head
since grade one,

what are we left with?

What?

It's a 105-pound problem.

105 pounds that's got to be moved from
point "a" to point "b."

Now, a straight line is the shortest
distance between two points,

but we're denied the luxury of a
visible straight line,

but that line exists,
and I see it.

I see that line.

Trust me.

Adam, trust me.

Hotel security.
Could you please open the door?

Oh, fuck.

Hello?
Hotel security.

What do they want?

Shit.

Oh, fuck.

They know.

Calm down.

Hello?

Goddamn it, they know!

Tell them right now!

Just keep
your voice down.

They have cameras
in the ceiling.

Shut up!

Shh-shh.

We don't have time.
Shut up. Shut up.

Shh.

He's gone.

He's gone.

Hello?

Hotel security.

Hi, how are you?

Y'all didn't
hear me knocking?

No, we heard you.

Mmm, yeah. You guys making a lot of
noise tonight.

What is it,
a toga party?

It's a bachelor party.

Well, y'all going to have to
keep it down.

Well, we will. We will.
We absolutely will.

Listen, we're very, very sorry,
we apologize.

We've been partying
a little hard,

but we're all getting
ready to go to sleep.

Mmm-mmm.

Well, this is going
to be a problem.

Someone's going to
have to pay.

Yeah, we're going to take care of
that first thing in the morning.

Yeah, you will.

What the hell gets
into you people?

Drugs and alcohol.

Well, I got
no problem with that.

Dr. Bigbucks.

Hey, how about a beer?

No. Maybe
some other time.

Listen, we're very, very sorry,
we apologize.

We didn't mean any
disrespect to the hotel.

We're very sorry.

Hey, hey, don't worry about it.
Don't worry about it at all.

Just as long as
you keep it down.

What the fuck is that?

Sir, please,
before you go in there,

I just want to explain.

Can I talk to you
one second, please?

D-d-don't go
in there yet.

We were calling 9-1-1 right when you came,
I swear to God.

This is not
what it looks like.

Go in there
and put your fucking pants on.

I'm not going to put
my pants back on.

No, you get dressed.
Goddamn it, I'll handle this.

Just get back.
Just get back.

Everybody just get...
just move back.

The floor was wet.
She completely slipped.

Get me a phone.
Just get me a telephone.

Back up, back up!
He wants us to back up.

I want everybody
just to move back.

Just take your
fucking hands off me!

Clear a path!

Don't let him bleed
on the carpet!

Go on! Get out!
Get out!

Shut the door!

Come over here!
Help me!

Jesus! Oh, shit!

Son of a bitch!

He'll bleed out.
He'll bleed out!

Oh, my god!

You motherfuckers!

All right, he'll bleed out.
He'll bleed out.

Oh, die!

Think anybody...

die!

Die, you son of a bitch!

It's all right.

Come on.

Come on.

Bingo.

New plan.

No, no,

not so much of
a new plan

as a modification
on the old one.

I'm calling the police.

So help me God, you touch that
fucking phone,

I'll bury you with them.

Surrender is
no longer an option.

I repeat, it is
not an option.

Is there anyone here who does not
understand that?

Little gut check
time, fellas.

Time for some serious
self-exploration.

How do I function?

For real, no more bullshit.

Can I keep my cool
when they bounce my bananas,

when they won't play my song,
et cetera, et cetera?

You get me?

Do you get me?

Not really, no.

That's not a problem.

Understand not my words,
but follow my orders.

Follow my orders.

Let me be
the success coach.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

What?
We can't do this.

We've already
done this.

No, no, I mean
the suitcases.

We can't bury them like this
in the suitcases.

Why not?

Because it's sacrilegious.

How do you figure?

According to Jewish law,
the blood and the limbs

are considered to be a sacred part of
the human spirit.

The body has to be united,
or the soul can't rest in peace.

What the hell? That's what
we're doing.

No, no, it's not. We got their parts
all mixed together.

We can't do this
to them.

She's Asian.
They don't have Jews in Asia.

That is absolutely
not true.

Michael, do they
have Jews in Asia?

Huh?

They have...
yes, they do.

They have Jews in Asia.
He is correct.

What the fuck are
we supposed to do?

We're going to have to
open up the suitcases.

We're going to
unpack the bodies

and reunite
the appropriate limbs.

No fucking way!

That's what
we're going to do!

No fucking way!

We have to do this,
goddamn it!

Adam, we got
to get going.

The sun's coming up.
Come on!

I am not flexible
on this.

Let's do it.

I've got her head.

This is her head.

I got a combo situation.

Do you have
any of him?

I have... that's her.

Watch your step,
all right.

Hey! Hey!

I've got a mop.

Just open
the fucking bags up!

Adam, heads up.

Jesus Christ!

Don't just toss
it around, goddamn it!

Show a little
fucking respect!

I have her lower leg.

Ok, I have his upper leg
and her lower leg.

I have his upper leg
and her lower,

leg and they don't
go together!

How do we
get started, Adam?

Look, if you don't want to do it,
just sit the fuck down!

Great fucking idea!
Everybody's losing their goddamned minds!

Is this her stuff here?

That's her!
That's him!

All right,
let's do this.

All right, somebody get his torso,
find his torso.

Forget the head,
we'll just start.

We got the head.

We'll start with black, then we'll go
to the Asian, all right?

We're going to
make you very happy.

Ok, you don't
do nothing.

I got toes!

Ok, relax.

I got toes.
I have somebody's toes.

Ok?

All right.

Allow me to be
the first to say

that what we have done here
is not a good thing.

It's clearly not
a good thing,

but it was, given the circumstances,
the smart play.

I'm proud of us.

I am proud of each
and every one of us.

It's going to be ok.

We performed
under the most complex

and nerve-shattering
of situations.

I mean, each one of us stood fast,
and we all delivered.

I feel proud.

We're going to hell...

hell or prison,
whichever comes first.

That's wrong.
That is flat-out wrong, Adam.

You got to change
your associations.

Hell is for cowards,
for hypocrites,

for people who fear to live by the strength
of their own conviction.

Now, this is war!

Given the circumstances
and given the fact

that we are alive
and they are not,

we've all chosen
life over death.

I mean, two wrongs
don't make a right,

so our conviction
and execution

would only mean more death here,
not less.

I don't know, Boyd.

Just seems to me ever since you started
this personal growth,

self-help, power fucking dysfunctional
fucking bullshit,

you are all fucked up
in the head!

Don't even go there.

You don't know what the hell you're
talking about, all right?

Personal strength has
nothing to do with this.

True, it's helped me to unlock energies
and see my options more clearly,

but to give it credit
for all of this

is a little bit more
than they deserve.

Don't you think we ought to
say more words over the bodies?

What kind of words?

Like a... a prayer.

Go ahead.

Dear god...

I don't fucking
know how to pray.

Say what's
on your mind.

Speak from the heart.
Let it flow.

Dear god...

this is pathetic.

You're pathetic.

What did you say?

You're not a team player.

Don't point at me.

You've never been
a team player.

That's why you don't
have any friends.

What are you talking about?
I have friends.

The hell you do.

The hell I don't.

You have acquaintances.

Business friends, superficial
golf buddies.

You've always been
a fringe player.

Don't point at me.

You have some serious male-on-male
intimacy problems.

What are you fucking
talking about?

You can't deal with men!

Guys, maybe now is
not the time for this.

Come on, Fisher,
this is the perfect time.

This is the real time.
We're in the moment.

Adam, your brother
and myself

as well as several
others present

have always felt
that you were

a fully repressed, living-in-major-denial,
lock-down flyboy.

What?

Fire in the hole,
big guy.

What?

Dear God, please forgive us for
what we've done here tonight.

We've lost our way.

Speaking for myself,

I am deeply in love with the woman
I'm about to marry,

and I am very much looking forward
to raising a family

and being a positive
member of society.

We promise,
if you forgive us,

that we will never forget
this tragedy

and we will try
with all our power

to use it as
a daily reminder

that we are on this earth to do
good, not evil.

Let us move from this day forward with
new spirit and purpose.

You have given us
a second chance,

so let us take
that second chance

and use it to fuel
our fires of productivity

so that the spirits of the two people that
we buried here tonight

can forever live on in our good deeds
and positive achievements

that we, from this day forward,
shall make our lives' work.

Thank you, God,
and once again,

please give us your guidance
and your forgiveness. Amen.

Hello?

It's me.

Hey!

I'm on the road.
We're running a little late.

Really? How late?

Um... like an hour.

Honey, did you check
on the chairs?

What?

Did you check on the chairs?
Ok.

Ok what? What?

What. Yeah.
What about the chairs?

I left a message.
Everything's going to be ok.

Yeah? You sound
a little funny, honey.

Did you do the cocaine
last night?

Um... nope.

I'm gonna be home in, like, 4 hours,
ok, hon?

Did you have fun?

Was it fun, honey?

You think he had kids?

What?

Children.

Do you think that man
was a father?

I don't know.

I got a really bad feeling...

that he had children.

I don't know.
I think he was too young to have children.

We're gonna burn for this.

Come on, guys. Daddy's home.
Let's go. Adam jr.

Where did you go, dad?

Today is the beginning
of the rest of our lives.

Hi, daddy!

Oh...

Honey! Honey,
we have to go.

My soccer game's today.

You were gonna drive me and my friends.
You have to.

Nobody says anything
to anybody... ever.

We're late.

Right?

Let's go.

The idea is to be able to,
like, look at everybody

and know that they're all
in the same wedding, right?

I mean, I just want to make sure
that everything's sort of pressed.

I don't want to look like it's been hanging
on a hanger all the time.

I want everything
to be, like...

I just want them to all look like
they're just... you know, clean.

Here, let me...

let me help... I'll help you with that.
Your nails are filthy.

I don't care...
like, just for the day,

all I ask is that
they're clean for the day.

After that, I don't care
what happens, ok?

Ok.

Hi, Boyd. Hey.

Ok, um, basically...
are you gonna stand like this?

I'll stand any way
you would like me to stand.

Michael...

Mike... what is...
what happened here?

He gave me a collar
center because I have an irregular size.

An irreg...

I'm in between sizes.
My neck is wide, and...

this looks like it hurts.
It does.

Does it hurt?
Yeah. I can't really breathe.

Is this your shirt?
Did you bring this, or is this theirs?

It's theirs. Ok, well, this
is just totally unacceptable.

How are you feeling?
Put your arms down.

If you can just take it in on the sides right here...
right here. Right here.

He's got two kids,
goddamn it, just like I said!

Two fucking kids,
goddamn it!

Calm the fuck down! Let's move on
past the fucking blaming shit.

Ok, now, where'd
you get this?

At the newsstand
on third.

Fucking Boyd,
that fucking idiot!

Goddamn it,
they're onto us! They're not onto us.

Boyd, did you read
the paper?

Is that him? Is that him?
Give me that!

Goddamn it, calm down.

Boyd, you fucking idiot!
This shit is coming down, man!

That's just nothing.

That's just a stupid missing persons thing,
that's all.

You got us into this mess!

I did?
From what I remember,

it was your rat-fuck brother that decided
to play chop suey

with the hooker's
fucking head.

Will you shut up?!
Calm down.

Shut up! These fucking phones
aren't secure, goddamn it!

Just lighten up, would you, please,
Adam? All right?

Just show some character. Walk through
some fucking fear.

Don't talk to me
about character, pal.

Watch the tone,
fella, ok?

Fuck you, Boyd!
Give me the phone.

Fuck you, too, snake-eyes,
cocksucker!

Fuck you!
Shut up. Boyd?

They have my credit card
imprint, you know that?

He hung up, goddamn it!

Fucking asshole!

Fucking...

Look what you did, goddamn it!
Look what you did!

Refocus... your mind!

Control... your... fear!

Knock it off!

Hey, don't snap at them.

They're making me nuts!

No, they're singing.

It's a disgusting song.

Well, you taught it
to them.

Guys! Guys, be quiet.

Your daddy's in a really, really bad mood,
and if you're really good,

You're gonna get some whizzers...
I promise.

Whizzers!

We want whizzers!
We want whizzers!

Ok? Ok, yeah.
High-five. All right.

We want whizzers!
We want whizzers!

We want whizzers!

We want whizzers!
Whizzers! Whizzers!

Whizzers! Whizzers!
Whizzers! Whizzers!

Whizzers! Whizzers!
Whizzers! Whizzers!

Whizzers! Whizzers!

Whizzers! Whizzers!

Whizzers! Whizzers!
Whizzers!

We want whizzers!
We want whizzers!

We want whizzers!

Hey, how do you like
the minivan?

We want whizzers!
We want whizzers!

We want whizzers!

We want whizzers!
We want whizzers!

We want whizzers!

So, how do you like
your minivan?

Fine.

Whizzers!

We want whizzers!

No, no, honey. Honey, go in there and
get them some whizzers.

What?
They're screaming for whizzers.

Just go in there
and get some whizzers.

I'm not going in there.

They are screaming like monsters.
It's giving me a headache.

I used the credit card so I don't have
to go in there!

Go get them
some fucking whizzers!

Whizzers! Whizzers!
Whizzers!

Whizzers! Whizzers!

Thank you. Go.
Please. Whizzers.

We want whizzers!

Love you!

Fucking whizzers!

Excuse me.

Yeah. Sure.
No... no problem.

Aah! Oh! Aah!

Ooh! Aah! Jeez!

I'm sorry.
I... I got it.

I got it. Sorry!
I'm sorry.

Just leave it.

Leave it
and get out.

I'm... I'm sorry.

Buddy, you ok?

Hey... whoa!

What the hell
is wrong with you?

Just get out!

Yay!

Dad's got the whizzers!
Dad's got the whizzers!

Dad's got the whizzers!
Dad's got the whizzers!

Here he comes!

Where are the whizzers?

They didn't have
any whizzers.

What do you mean, they don't have
any whizzers?

They didn't have any
fucking whizzers, ok?!

What are you doing?!

What is your problem?!
What is your goddamn problem?

Aah!

Dad!

Oh, oh...

Nice to see you.

Oh, my God!

You look so beautiful!
I love that dress.

Oh, my God... have you seen Amanda?
Oh, my God, come here.

She's wearing the same exact dress
she wore to Heidi's wedding.

I'm losing it, Fish.

Hey, now...
how's it going?

Nice to see you.
Nice to see you.

I got a migraine like a fucking
monkey kicking in the side of my...

I get you, I get you.
Hi. Hi, Cynthia. Nice to see you.

Hi, Mr. And Mrs. Wilshire.

Fish. Fish...

I'm sorry,
I'm not myself.

Just, please, not now.

Where's the bathroom?

It's just past...
where's the fucking bathroom?!

It's past the bar!
Excuse me.

Here's a picture
of Kyle, age 4,

and his good friend,
Jo-Jo the mule.

Now...

evidently,
when they got to camp,

Kyle and Boyd over there
had some serious arguments.

Try and get me
in the mouth.

Shh.

...who exactly
was Kyle's best friend,

Boyd or the mule?

Well, Fish had a less
than normal relationship

with that ass.

You're just jealous, Boyd.

Well, be that as it may,

after camp came football,

and for those of you

who didn't follow
the sports pages back in 1977,

you might not remember
the peewee powerhouse of Oklahoma,

who, under the leadership
of yours truly,

managed to roll to
an auspicious league record of 0 for 12...

scoring exactly
not one damn touchdown.

Where are you going?

Oh... ho ho!

He was a husky kid then,
and he's a husky kid now...

whose great talent
was persistence.

They showed up.

They didn't score much.
They didn't score at all.

Ha ha! But they showed up.

So... now I'd like
to propose my toast...

to the groom and...
his wonderful bride.

God bless.

God bless.

God bless.

Adam,
what's wrong, man?

I can't...
I can't fucking breathe.

What's wrong?

Fish, I'm sorry.
- Ok!

You're freaking me
out, brother.

That was definitely not cool... definitely
inappropriate behavior.

Just shut up
for a second.

Negative!
This is not what you've worked out

in terms of self-management
here, Adam.

Come on!
Pull it together.

He's having some kind
of problem?

What's the problem, Adam?

What is the fucking
problem, huh?

Come on.

I just... I just...
we're gonna get caught.

We're not gonna
get caught.

I know we're gonna
get caught.

They're eyeballing
my minivan.

Who? What?

At the Minimart.

What the hell are
you talking about?

They're smoking me out!
Who's smoking you out?

Nobody is
smoking you out!

Shut up!

Kyle!

Yeah? What, hon?

Honey... yeah?

Is everything OK?

Yeah, everything's fine.
Great.

OK. Can we go
back inside?

Yeah. Sure.

Honey, now... now.
Can we go inside?

I just have these...
um, we have these...

yeah, we got, uh... groomsmen's
last-minute preparations to make.

We've got a rehearsal
dinner going on inside.

Dad, everything's fine, ok?

I'm in the middle of my goddamn toast
in there!

Why don't the two of you
go back inside,

you get back into the toast,
and I'll be back in, ok?

So just go on, please.

Honey, we have a rehearsal dinner
here, ok?

Everything's
beautiful. Your wife looks beautiful,

except for what you did to
her fucking nose.

Adam, the timing fucking
sucks on this here.

We got the rehearsal
dinner thing right now.

You never gave
a damn about anyone but yourself.

You're a fucking
reject, ok?

You eat my ass!

Hey! Eat my ass!

This doesn't help!

If you ever touch
my minivan again,

you are going to be
very sorry, brother!

Very fucking sorry!

You are aloser!
Loser?!

Loser! You're a...
you think your shit's so fucking righteous?

You were right there,
right there with us... side by fucking side.

You murdered that girl!

You murdered her!
You're a murderer! Murderer!

Keep it fucking down!
Keep your fucking voice...

Shut your fucking mouth.

I didn't do anything, ok?
Yes, you did.

I might just turn your little
pathetic ass in.

How about that, pal?

Did you hear that?

Adam, calm down, ok?

I'm not gonna calm down!
I can't do this!

I can't do this!
I'm telling you, they...

it won't work!
It cannot work!

It has worked!
It is working!

It's done!

I'm telling you,
they've got fiber optics,

they've got
dna samples,

they've got FBI scientists...

the fucking internet,
goddamn it!

They figure this shit out!
They figure it out every fucking time!

They won't figure it out.
You've just got to relax.

I've got children.
I've got a life!

Your kids are one crutch away
from a telethon.

You got a frigid,
swamp-hog wife...

you fuck!

Kyle!
What is going on?!

Jesus! What is...
are they fighting over there?

No, baby...
baby, they are fighting over there!

Now, what the fuck
is... aah! Aah!

Back off, Michael!
That's enough!

Goddamn it, back off!

You are not going
to ruin this for us!

You will not
ruin it for us!

This is gonna stop.
You fucking go home!

You fucking murderer!

Back off! He's gone!

You're a fucking loser!
You're a loser!

You need to take a time-out.

Go home!
Go home, you fucking murderer!

Fucking loser!

Go home, you fucking murderer!

Easy, easy! We got to go back in.
We got to go back in.

The problem is gone, ok?
Time out.

Oh, fuck.
We got to get in there.

Listen. We're gonna
go back inside,

we're gonna
collect ourselves.

Adam... are you cool?

No, Boyd.

No!

I am definitely not cool!

All right, problem child is leaving.

Back inside, ok?

Just get the fuck
out of here!

Go home, you fuck!

Pull it together.
I got my whole fucking family in there.

Just get it
the fuck over with.

What do you want?!

Mr. Fucking Minivan.

Get the hell
out of here, Mike!

He's gonna take out
my minivan!

Don't you dare!

Hey, hey, hey...
my God!

Aah! Fucking Christ!

Oh...

oh...

so it was some sort
of accident?

Yeah. He, uh...
he didn't realize.

I guess he just lost
control of the car.

Was there some sort
of argument?

No, nothing like that.

We heard there was
some arguing going on.

What, some kind of
sibling muscle-flex thing?

No, no, no.
They love each other.

Just, uh... we were all just outside,
just talking.

We were just talking.

What were you
talking about?

Uh, the wedding...

married... wedding...

yeah, how it's probably
going to be the last time

for all of us to be together...
to see each other...

before he gets married.
Married. I'm getting married.

A lot of people seem
to think there was some hostility.

Unh!

How the fuck am i
supposed to comment

on what a lot of other
people thought, huh?

I mean, listen,

we've all suffered
an incredible trauma here,

and we're in full-on
grieving mode right now,

and your questions are just a little bit
poorly timed.

Do you understand?
Thank you very much, officer Randone.

Easy, Boyd.

No "easy Boyd."
Don't give me that shit.

I got a friend in there
in pieces, for god's sakes.

How about a little
sensitivity, huh?

There was no fighting going on or nothing.
Yeah.

Unh, unh, unh!

What was
that guy's name?

Robert Boyd.

Unh, unh, unh!

Excuse me...

his situation is critical.

He's, uh... asking
to speak to his wife.

Yes?

It's bad. I just want to warn you of what
you're going to see...

unh!

He's in defib.
Gonna have to step away, ma'am.

10 of lidocaine.

Clear.

More blood here.
More blood.

Charge 300. Clear.

Nothing.

He's got nothing left in his heart.
I've got nothing.

I'm gonna call it.

Time of death,
11:58 p.m.

I'm very sorry.
He's dead.

What did he say?

I'm sorry,
he's dead.

What?

You... why are you
walking away?

What are you
walking away for?

What are you
walking away for?

The need to know is clear:

what did Adam tell Lois?

That's the name of the game. What did
Adam tell Lois? What does Lois know?

Yeah.

I killed my brother.

I killed my brother.
I killed my brother.

All right.

I ran my brother down in cold blood.
I ran him down.

I killed my brother.
I killed my brother.

Come on.

I killed my brother.
I killed my brother.

It's time to pay the man.

Goddamn it! It's time
to pay the man!

Just take it easy!

It's time to pay!
Take it easy!

Listen to me. Easy!

You kill one man,
and you're a murderer, ok?

You kill all,
and you are god.

OK, just take it easy.
I killed my...

take it...

you motherfucker!

Aah!

Aah! Unh!

Never!

The memory of
the just is blessed,

while the name
of the wicked shall rot!

Get the... get the car.

The evil that men do lives after us.
You hear me?

Easy. Get off me!

Get off me!

The memory of the just is blessed,
while the name...

pick him up.

It's time to confess your sins!
Confess our sins!

Keep your voice
down, Michael.

Open the door!

Just shut your face!

Get in the car!

Get in there.
Come on!

The memory of the just
is blessed,

while the name of
the wicked shall rot!

Michael! Michael!

You will control
your conditioned response.

You will pull yourself
together, Mister!

All right!
Are you hearing me?

Yes.

Jesus.
He's cracked up.

I'm not cracking up!
He is not cracking up!

What have we done?

What did you ask me?

I said, what have we done?

Yes, you did.
Now, that is the question.

That is exactly the question we should
be asking ourselves.

"What have we done?"
Why don't you tell us. What have we done?

I just want to get married.
Exactly!

Exactly my point.
What's your fucking point?

I'm not talking
to you, moore.

What's your point?!
What's your point?!

You want to know
what you're doing here?

You are love-pumping.

You are protecting
all that is sacred and beautiful

and in sync with poetry
and sunsets

and little newborn babies.

You're walking the walk.

This is it, Fisher...
the real stuff.

You love this woman,

and nothing...
absolutely nothing... supersedes love, man.

Nothing!

I love you,
I love moore, I love Michael.

This car is
full of love!

But trust me,
we will do what it takes...

whatever it takes.

Love does not lose.

Michael. Michael...
oh, Michael...

I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.

No, it's not your fault.
It's not your fault.

I'll get you
a new minivan.

Then you can be
the soccer mom.

You're the soccer Mom!
Steady, boy.

No, it's not
your fault.

No... Michael, watch the nose.
The nose!

Oh, Michael.

Michael, come on, let's go.

Oh, God. Oh, oh!

I'm sorry!

I'm sorry!

I'm sorry!

Oh! Oh, my god!

I'm sorry!

Canceled?!

Canceled?

You're out of
your fucking mind.

Nobody's talking
about canceling.

I'm just talking
about modifying.

No way. No way!

Can we just
talk it through?

Talk what through?
Look it, look it...

we are locked and
loaded here, right?

I mean,
we are nonrefundable.

I have family at
the airport as we speak,

getting ready to come here to see
us get married.

Do you understand?
I have a table full of presents out there.

Just answer it!

Hello?

Kyle, it's Lois.

I was up at Adam's study,
and I found a note.

It seems to be
some sort of confession

about some horrible thing he did
to a woman in Las Vegas, and...

buried outside of Vegas, about Boyd
being the ringleader...

she wants to know what the hell's going on.
I'm starting to freak out.

We're goosed. We're not goosed.
What's her disposition?

Regarding what?
Did she sound pissed, scared, hostile?

Did she say anything
about calling the police?

No, but she's definitely
pissed and hostile,

and she clearly is starting to think that
something's not right.

We're goosed...
goosed by God!

Michael, would you please calm down, all right?
What did you tell her?

I told her I had no idea
what Adam was talking about in that letter.

Did she believe you?
I have no idea.

You can tell when people believe you.
It's obvious.

I don't have that skill,
but if I had to guess,

I'd say that she
in no way believed me.

Goosed! Shut up.

Goosed! Stop it.

Goosed!
What's goosed?

Would you give him another pill?
He's already had two.

Give him two more.

We are goosed!

Open sesame.

Jesus, Boyd, you're gonna O.D. him.
Suck my ass!

Goosed!

Hey!

I never liked you, Boyd.

You're a sneaky little fuck...
always have been.

What are you
talking about?

Don't sweet-lip me.

I don't understand where
this personal attack is coming from.

You're a liar.
I want to know what happened in Vegas.

Nothing happened in Vegas.

I don't want to hear it
from the liar,

so stick a plug
in it, Boyd.

Fisher, what
happened in Vegas?

Nothing happened in Vegas.

Moore?

Nothing happened, Lois.

Michael...

do you have something
to tell me?

Michael, just tell Lois
nothing happened in Vegas.

Shut up, Boyd!
Shut up.

Michael...

Michael...

Goosed. What?

Lois, we were bad.

We were very, very...
we were very, very bad.

He's just upset about Adam.
We're all a little upset.

Michael, Michael, Michael...
what did you do?

Uh...

nothing.

Nothing happened in Vegas.

All right,
I'll call the police.

I will call the police
right now

if I don't start
getting some answers.

Please calm down, Lois.
Fuck you, Boyd.

Just take it easy, ok?
Enough of this.

Nothing happened, Lois.

Nothing happened. Nothing happened.
Nothing happened.

I am going to count to 5, and I will
call the police,

and then we'll find out
what happened. One...

Goosed!

Two... Please don't
make this situation

3... any more tense than
it has to be, all right?

4... Just relax, would you?

I am calling
the fucking police!

Ok, here's the deal!

Adam slept with
a prostitute in Vegas.

He was sick with guilt.

Yeah.

It's true. No.

It wasn't the first time.

Adam had a...

Adam had a thing
for... prostitutes.

My Adam?

My Adam? No...

I don't believe it.

I don't believe it.
It's not true.

Not my Adam!

We're very, very sorry.

You're lying!

You're a bunch
of liars!

I don't believe you!

Watch your fingers,
watch your toes.

All right, fellas,
I want you to listen to me.

Now, mommy's going to take
a little time-out,

and bunker's going to
keep you guys company,

and everything's going
to be OK... I promise.

Ok?

Ok.

Take my cell phone.

After you drop the kids off,
take Michael home.

Put a couple drinks
in him so he'll sleep.

I don't think
that's a good idea.

Just do it.
I'll call you later.

What are you doing?

I'm gonna take care
of business.

What does that mean?

What does that mean?
Are you insane?

Do you actually think
I would hurt Lois?

She's the mother of these kids,
for Christ's sakes.

What's wrong with you?

You got a real nasty side
to your thought process.

Look, I'm sorry. It's
just for tonight.

Lois is a mess,
Michael is upset, everybody's upset.

Shut up!

Ok, I am not canceling
this wedding.

I don't want you to.
I won't even discuss it.

Nobody's
discussing it, ok?

I'm just gonna bring them back home. I'm
gonna come right back.

You have to pick up the cake
in the morning, early.

Don't we have somebody
to do that for us?

Yeah. You.

What...?

Ok. Ok.

Aah!

Why did I have to...

aw, Jesus
fucking Christ!

Evil bastards!

Aah, you hear
that buzzing, fish?

Buzzing?

Yeah, like a...

like a fucking chirping
in the back of my skull.

I don't hear anything.

Yeah, well,
it's a nasty problem.

Deedee? Deedee.

Boom! Bing, bing, bing.
Bam, bam, bam.

Ahh...

dad used to bring home these
sparklers for me and Adam, you know?

Sparklers!

We'd go out back,
the 3 of us,

and we'd hold it up
to the sky

and watch the explosions of light
and sparks, you know,

and dad would be all,
"Wait for it. Here it comes. Watch for it.

Ok, here it comes.
Here comes the wah-hoo."

Wah-hoo?

Wah-hoo! The sparkler
would burn hot,

then hotter,
then even hotter,

and then there'd be this
one moment of pure burn

when that little fucker would
cook perfect... just perfect.

It would only last a second,
but that second was it.

It wasit.

And that's what dad had us
looking for, man.

Are you with me?
The wah-hoo moment?

That's exactly right.
That's what I'm driving at:

man burning at
his absolute...

all the forces
coming together,

burning just perfect...

perfect harmony.

That's what
I'm driving at.

Are you with me?

I think so.

I've been looking
for that flash.

I've been looking,
and I've been looking,

and I can't find it.

And what if it already happened,
you know?

My moment.

What if it happened,
and I didn't even see it?

Lois?

Lois?

Adam...

no, it's Boyd.

I just want you
to know

just how much
I didn't appreciate

that personal attack.

I'm really offended!

Uhh! No!

Uhh!

You picked the wrong woman,
motherfucker!

It's over, baby.

I'm gonna
turn myself in.

No.
After the wedding, of course.

After the wedding,
out of respect.

I don't think that's
a good idea...

No, no, no, no, no.
You don't understand.

Out of respect
for Fisher.

Out of respect
for you...

listen to me,
listen to me...

respect for your wife

and your wedding, OK?
All right?

Do you hear where
I am here?

I appreciate it.

You're just being
too hard on yourself.

No, no, no, no, no.

This is my doing, OK?

Just stop.

I'm gonna have a spark
of my own, all right?

Jesus!

Get up!

You're mine!

I'm gonna do this for Lois...

and for my brother...

and for the kids...

I'm gonna turn myself in,
'cause I'm all that.

Shh!

I've thinked it over, Fish.

What is it?

Listen...

if you think about names,

you know, babies...

Michael's a pretty
good one,

you know?

This stuff will
be over, right?

Fish? Fish?

You know what
I'm saying?

Hello?

Ok, here's the deal.

And it's a good one.
Lois is cool.

It's a pacified situation.

Whoa, whoa.
What do you mean?

She's resting,
she's comfortable.

The only thing is,

you still got Michael there,
right? Right?

Yeah.

Ok, great.

She wants to see him
in person.

She, uh...

she needs to grieve
with her family.

Just a little family time.

Right now? Yeah.

Well, isn't it
a little late?

Get over here and don't be so
goddamn selfish!

Ok, you guys
wait in the car.

I'm gonna take him in.

She just wants to
see him alone.

Lois wants
to see me?

Here we go, big guy.

Upsy-daisy!

Yes. She wants a big hug,
big family hug.

Come on.

One foot in front
of the other...

there you go.

- Hey, Fisher?
- Yeah?

I'm gonna do this,
and then we're gonna go to Fatburger.

Ok, big guy.

Lois is in the house.

Come on, Michael,
get in the house.

You know...

I'm thinking about
maybe making a move.

A move?

Yeah. Greenpeace.

Greenpeace?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Maybe go up to the North Pole,
the Arctic.

Tag polar bears
with dart guns.

I've always had
pretty good aim.

Michael was in love
with Lois.

That's what Michael and Adam
were arguing about

in the parking lot.

Michael killed Adam
in a jealous rage,

Lois rejected Michael,

he strangled her
to death...

and he shot himself
in the head.

Happens all the time.

That Lois, she fought
like a fucking comanche.

Well, I don't see how this
could have been kept from you.

Last month, Adam and Lois
changed their will.

They requested that you two,
as a married couple,

be custodians of record
for their estate,

including all properties, cash holdings,
security holdings,

and... children.

Adam had a $500,000 term
life insurance policy.

What does that mean?

That means we have $500,000 to help
raise the kids.

No! Yes.

No! Yes.

Actually, no.

Adam failed to make his last payment,
so his term life lapsed.

But he did have a pension account
worth $150,000

and the house,
valued at 350,000.

Ok, so where does
that leave us?

150 and 350,

that takes us back up
to 500,000.

Not even close.
The property value's down.

The house is worth
100,000 less...

3 credit cards...

the minivan payments...

and the income and the state taxes
assessed on his I.R.A...

that leaves you
in the neighborhood of...

$14,223.

Are you fucking
kidding me?

The hell did you do that
for, you little asshole?

What are you gonna do about it,
you little fucker?

Come on, hit me!

Hey, hey,
come on... enough, enough, enough.

So...

when's the wedding?

Tomorrow.

We're getting
married tomorrow.

I've had enough of you two devils!

Enough! Enough!

Excuse me for a moment.

Enough!

What is going on?

These are your clients' kids!
Look at these...

it's gonna be OK.

It's not OK.

It's not OK.
It's not OK.

We're gonna be fine.

We have to cancel.

No. No, we don't,
no, we don't.

It's gonna be OK,
honey...

it's gonna be OK.

Do you love me?

Kyle...
it's gonna be ok.

W-w-we killed
a woman.

What are you
talking about?

In Vegas.

Michael killed a woman.

Michael killed her...
he hit her head and she bled.

And she... she died.

But there was nothing we could do about it,
so we buried her.

Who's dead?

The prostitute's dead.

You fucked a prostitute?

No. Michael did.

It was an accident,
Michael did it.

Where is she?

She's buried
in the desert.

You left a dead prostitute
alone in the desert?

She's not alone.

Boyd went...

Boyd went crazy.

He went nuts,
and he started killing everybody.

He killed a guard.
He killed Michael.

He killed Lois...

Stop, ok?
Just stop right there.

I don't want to hear
any more of this, ok?

I told you not to do
that stupid fucking bachelor party thing.

I know.

You were warned!
I know.

You were warned, Kyle!
You were warned!

I told you your friends were just jackasses!

I know!
And I'm sorry.

I've waited 27 years, ok?

27 years I have focused and prepared

to walk down that aisle,

and I will not be derailed.

I will not be embarrassed,

and I will not be denied!

So tomorrow,
I am walking down that aisle,

come hell or high fucking water!

Ok!

Showtime.

We're about two minutes out.

Moore?

Better take your position.

Chop-chop!

Let me see you.

There you are.

You look great, man.

Go get 'em.

Hoooo...

this is a situation that defies judgment.

We have acted and shown courage

of a nature not known by most.

You've got a warped though process.

Your brain doesn't function properly.

Whatever you say, Kojak.

I'm serious.

No, no, no...

I'm the serious one here, ok?

I'm the serious one.

I'm the guy making the fucking plays.

I'm the Indian runner,
for Chris sake,

and I want my money!

What money?

Blood money!

Insurance dollars
which you have thus far

somehow let slip your mind
to tell me about!

You're sick.

If you think you can fuck me, Fish,

you can't, ok?

I'm backed up.
I'm insulated, baby!

Backed up on floppy,
do you get me?

I want that fucking money!

Oh, God,
I can taste it!

Not a prayer.

Goddamn it!

I'm a fucking lighthouse, man!

I stay lit for you!
I stay lit!

I never go dark!
Never go dark!

You need help.

I want that fucking money!

I told Boyd two fucking minutes.

I want my money!

Hope you have a nice wedding,
you stupid idiot!

You trying to cheat me,
you goddamn bastard!

Boyd!

This is my day!

Baby, wait! Wait!

Stop, baby.

Ok.

Stick him in the crapper
and get your ass upstairs.

Baby?

The best man's not gonna make it.

We're gonna just start, ok?

Sure.

Great.

Where's Boyd?

In the toilet.

We're gonna
get started, ok?

Dearly beloved,

we are all here today
because two very special people,

Laura and Kyle,

have found each other.

You can't...
spawn the salmon man!

When I see two young people
in love as they are,

I find myself renewed and inspired
because the spirit...

rise!

With hope for the future and joy.

I'm coming!

Let us begin.

May we have the rings, please?

I'm on my way!

The rings.
We need the rings.

I don't have the rings.

I got the ring!

Boyd has the rings.

I'm there...

Excuse me.

Oh, God.

Oh, God...

Where's the rings?

Shh!

Jesus Christ!

Got 'em.

Now we can begin.

Do you, Kyle,
take this woman, Laura,

to be your wife and helpmate

in sickness and in health

along life's highways,
wherever they may take you,

until death do you part?

I do.

And do you, Laura,
take this man, Kyle...

I do.

You may kiss the bride.

Hey, guys?

Listen, I need two minutes with him.

I'll be right out.

Baby, I just want you
to know that all this,

Everything I did,
is 'cause I love you.

And I wanted you to have that wedding.

Like you always wanted to have, ok?

You and Moore are gonna go move
those fucking bodies,

Do you understand me?

And you're gonna bury Boyd with them.

And in fact, you know what?

You're gonna fucking put Moore
in the ground, too.

You want me to kill Moore?

I know he's your only friend left, ok?

But he is a loose string,

And you are gonna have to start.

Fucking flushing
the toilet like a big boy,

Do you understand me?

Laura?

Fuck!

You know...

You guys, listen...

Two minutes, please.
Just make my apologies for me, do your job.

And while you're at it,
you know,

Just get rid of that fucking dog.

The dog?

I don't care what you do,
get rid of him.

Lose him in the desert.

You want me to kill the dog?

Do you love me? Yes.

Do you?

Do you love me?

Do you love me?
Mm-hmm.

Do it?

Laura!

Fuck!

I told you two fucking minutes!

I've been thinking.

I've been thinking
about what you said that day...

The prayer.

About using this whole mess.

To bring out the good in me.

I think there's a lot
of truth in that.

I'm gonna pursue some options.

I want to join that big brother thing.

Yeah.

I want a black one.

I want a little black brother.

It's a big problem,
it seems to me,

You know?

Lack of racial integration,
that's a big one.

Don't you think?

Kyle?

Do you love me?

That ought to be
about the end of that.

Yup.

Because that is the point here,
OK?

That is what I'm driving for.

When the big storm comes.

And it knocks down
all the forests.

And all the rocks fall down.

And all the leaves are bare,
what is left?

What is left?

The little trees.

The little fellas
that the storm didn't see.

The tiny little trees.

Ok, boys,
let's hear the badger oath.

Come on, boys,
Let's hear it one more time.

A badger is great.

A badger faces great adversity...

a badger is economical,

Saves for the unforeseen.

A badger is sanitary,

Keeps his mind and body pure.

Yes.

Come on,
let's see the badger salute.

Aw, no!

Come on,
let's see the badger salute.

Yes.

Shit!

The hell with it.

Come on, give me your hand.

I don't need any help!

If you don't reach out to me,
I can't help.

Leave me alone!

Your new mommy's coming.

Your new mommy's...

Come on. Come on, now.
We're gonna make it.

Let's talk about our feelings.

I hate you
and your bitch wife!

Get your own crutch, stump boy!

Please clean the bathroom.

Let's talk about our feelings.
How do we feel?

A little help?

I can't breathe, asshole!

A little help, please?

Let go of me, you gimp!

A little help?

Honey, could you help me
with the wheelchair?

Honey? I need some help.

That's ok, she's not
running from you.

Help me, honey.
You want to talk about us?