Vergogna schifosi (1969) - full transcript

Years after getting away with murder, the three young perpetrators from Milan suddenly receive an incriminating photo, accompanied by a request for money. Despite their quick payment, they keep getting new messages.

- Manfred, answer me.
- Manfred!

- What's the matter with you, Manfred?
- What's happened to him?

Oh my God!

- What did you give him?
- What we did give him!

- He's dead.
- In my opinion he's dead.

He's dead.

And now?

- But what was it? - The usual stuff,
I saw he used to eat a lot of them.

We need a doctor.

Wait.

Come on, call a doctor, come on!



Let's consider things carefully.
Don't let's lose our heads.

Listen, I'll give you some money,
all you could want.

- Then, if you need...
- What!?

You can't get me into trouble.
I've got a family, a career!

And what are we?
Sons of a bitches?

- Let me leave.
- Oh well, Mr. Peeping Tom!

He has fun behind our backs,
then he thinks he can steal out!

But I'm going to the police!
If we're gypped, you'll be gypped too!

- Come on, try to be reasonable.
- Reasonable like hell! We don't let you go!

So, what to do?

When you brought him to me,
did anyone notice him?

No, not even when he came here
to the guest house.

- It's always been at night.
- Are you sure about that?

Sure...



But when you got acquainted with him,

I mean, at your first meeting,
who was he with?

No one, he was alone,
I already told you.

I smiled at him
and then he followed me.

That's all.

We must get rid of him.

If I can get out of this mess
I'm leaving Milan,...

I'll go back home.
Turn over a new leaf.

I'll become a teacher.

- Let's decide what to do?
- Let's dress him first of all...

or shall we take him away naked?

And you, help us, come on!

Help us!

If I can get out of this mess,
I'll change my life, change my life!

SHAME ON YOU, SWINE!

This way, please.

Come in, please.

Just a moment.

So, agreed and see you again.

- See you.
- See you.

- What is it?
- The Monsignori have brought a project.

- Wait a moment, please.
- Right.

Hello?

Hello? Yes, speak.

Please speak, it's me.

You have only to scale these things.

Sure! Within a week at the maximum,
see you, bye.

- 5 express, 3 certified, the usual
letters and one telegram. - OK, thanks.

Well, throw away, throw away,

archive, reply, throw away,

throw away, archive,

reply, throw away, reply,
this is for you.

Throw away, throw away, photocopy.

Monsignori can you wait a moment

Miss, remember the politician.
Hello?

Sure! Who cares
about the urban plan!

They may come here and
match themselves against me! I'm here.

Understood? I'm here.

Call me again.

Miss, let's write a telegram
to the politician. right now, OK?

Dear Gaetano, with reference to a contract
with the company for building construction

related to the new urban planning, I submit
this new point to you, the undersigned

Imprendit company, located in
etc., etc... please miss, write down...

Excuse me a moment.

The parties hereto stipulated and agreed
as follows...Sirs, take a seat.

Hello?

No, sir, no, I'm sorry,
the architect is at the cemetery.

Excuse me, Filippo, where's your wife?
Your home. doesn't answer.

She's already left.

- When?
- 2 minutes ago.

- You knew she was going to the sea?
- Oh, right.

Was it urgent?

No, just some information.

She took Laura, they met
at the highway entrance.

Listen, Lea, Filippo sent me, you'd better
come back to Milan, your mother isn't well.

Nothing serious, don't worry.

I'm sorry, Meg.

There's a hitch, my mother's not well,
I can give you the key if you want.

There's no need, thank you.
- Right, goodbye. - Goodbye.

Can you bring back my car, please?
- Yes, of course, darling.

This is the third time
her mother is about to die.

The fourth, including
her father. About turn!

The Manfred business has surfaced.

What? Don't you like the colour?
It emphasizes the design of the glass panel.

A fashionable colour,
a natty one, my word.

It makes the saint more attractive,
and gives death a more cheerful look.

Vanni?

- I'm so sorry, I have to leave,
see you tomorrow. - OK.

Anyway, if I change my mind, It'll
be covered in case of death, true?

Take a look at what's surfaced.

Manfred!

And now read
what's written on the back.

SHAME ON YOU, SWINE!! ON THE NIGHT OF
THE 4TH TAKE 8 MILLION TO THE 9TH KM

JUNCTION MILAN-LODI NEAR THE ABANDONED HOUSE
IN THE FIELD OF BEEHIVES - THANKS A BLACKMAILER!!

Blackmail after six years?
It's absurd, it's crazy!

It's crazy that picture appears
only right now!

Listen, it's pointless looking at me.

I destroyed all my pictures,
as you well know.

- Right! And I gave mine to the press
according to you!? - And this one?

Well, where's the evidence?
You can hardly recognise us.

Where's the evidence?

- Right, where's the evidence?
- There's a dead man involved.

Just use your brains.
Proof that we knew Manfred.

The scandal, jail.

Idiot.

You and your dirty mania for pictures!

- If it wasn't because of you... damn!
- Filthy mania! Look who's talking!

So listen to what I'm say:
goodbye and I'm dropping everything!

I don't give a damn about the blackmail,
I don't appear in that picture in any case.

- Quieten down and don't be so hasty.
- Dropping everything, are you?

Because the dead man
went alone to the park?

The car noticed that night was yours.

You'd better read the newspapers
once again, my dear.

Finally, a bit cool here.

Thus, let's sum up...

The blackmailer has always
been aware of Manfred's story.

And has been kindly waiting
for 6 years before blackmailing us.

Sure, what could he get
from us at that time?

Nothing from us,
but from Andrea for sure.

Let's try to sift
all the possible hypotheses.

The blackmailer has found
this picture only recently,

who knows where, and has decided
to get in touch with us...

And how should he have
remembered the dead man?

I mean, 6 years have passed?

Doesn't it seem to you
we're ineffective now?

He's a cunning guy, one who knows us well,
that's not a mere coincidence.

Ah, I heard
your darling bought a Ferrari.

Yes, Luca's father might
buy all of us, forget the Ferrari!

- No, thanks.
- Give it to him.

Vanni, want it?

Andrea? Listen, do you think
he can really get us into trouble?

I really think he can.

But you've to admit it'd be a nice topic
for our people to discuss,

they'd be talking about it
all summer long.

Vanni? What's up? Are you already thinking
of the cells you'd be charged to decorate?

Well, at this hour my brain is refusing
to think, I'm much too sleepy.

No money, no blackmailer.

Logical.
He knew we hadn't brought the money.

Why didn't you sign it?

I was just wondering the same thing.

- But who might he be?
- Who?

- The blackmailer.
- It's you, my dear.

You're the blackmailer!

This shop is a failure,...

you're burdened with debt,
you have no money right now...

So what does the architect contrive?

Let's gather a few million without
the nuisance of giving them back.

How? Resurrecting poor Manfred.

What a pity.

A vulgar heart
or a deeply vulgar one?

Obsolete insults nowadays
for a fashionable lady.

Chic,
the lady of Milan.

Look who's talking!
They want to be called "architects".

You look at them and say:
"How important these gentlemen are".

But when they open their mouths,
what mistakes they make.

- Imagine if he thinks of that...
- Yes, he does! And don't be hypocritical!

- Hypocritical!? - And, by the way, when
money disappeared from the guest house?

- Come on! what are you saying?
- I know him well,

He'd do anything to saddle
others with his troubles.

Right, with regard to troubles,
how did that money disappear?

I can imagine...
there was such a fuss...

On average one a week,
in three years...

Something like 120 little men
you took back home.

At least I didn't get paid.

Guys, calm down!

And if it were you?

- Why mightn't she need money?
- Stop it, kept man!

Listen...

another word and you'll lose
your splendid little Swiss teeth.

Oh my God, how late it is.

Today I'm so shattered,
will you see me home?

Might the blackmailer go to the police?

No, no, he'll show up again.

What now? Let's go.

We'll call one another at breakfast.

Good morning, madame.

Mr Luca called, middle of the night, he
insisted on speaking with you but I hung in.

I told him madame had had a sleeping-pill
so I couldn't wake her at all.

Instead I'll tell your husband, when he
wakes, you came back home around 2 am,

please don't make me a liar.

Not knowing whether you're leaving or not,
I've thought better not to unpack...

Would you like
the air-conditioning lowered?

Yeah.

The journalist, John Preston,

Good morning.

The President has left.

clearly meant that a new
Johnson's new candidature for president

would be the worst case
scenario for the USA.

Johnson, according to
the influential columnist,

is by now nothing but a failure,

while his early politics of consensus
has turned into a politics of division

and his inheritance has created
confusion and perturbation

for America and for
the Democratic party.

The head of the White House,
Preston goes on,

has divided both his country
and his own party on Vietnam.

But, after withdrawing
from the campaign,

aware that he cannot govern such a divided,
and for him ungovernable America,

he actually did nothing to unite his
country to help the Democratic campaign.

Domestic news:

A massive exodus for
the August holidays has started,

"the escape from concrete."

Olga.

- Leave me in peace...
Vanni, do you love me? - Yeah.

Hello?

Put it on the window sill.

Excuse me.

Hello?

Sure, father,
marriage is very important

but it's better my son
dedicates himself only to work.

- How old are you? - 28.
- How young he is.

Excuse me.

Hello?

- Slept well?
- Good morning.

Morning, darling.

Hello, darling.

Sorry but I was
back a bit late last night.

No problem, dear.

- It's for you.
- Hello?

Hang yourself.

It might be the tenth time
they've called and not replied.

You can disconnect it.

A frosty melon is on the left, madame.

I think we'd best postpone going
to the sea for a few days at least.

My mother should have
recovered by then.

Sure. We can leave when you want.

Hello?

- Darling, what do they want?
- None of your business.

Speak! Answer!
Go to the devil!!

Hello? Well, Carletto...

Yes, yes, what's up?

Your exhibition?
No, I'm sorry, I have to leave.

Yes, when I come back...
About a month.

Never mind... so call me again, bye.

Carletto...Carletto!

Carletto?

Where does he come from?

What has it got to do with Carletto?
Doesn't he live in Rome now?

Things don't seem to be this way.

I met him in the city centre a month ago,
I heard someone screaming and calling me.

- You know how he was.
- So what?

He wanted me to see his exhibition, I was
in a hurry, so told him to go to the devil.

- Carletto as a blackmailer...
it's a bit simple. - Not at all.

Maybe. You can imagine him
playing that role. Stupid little man.

- Yet I'd cut my...
- Say goodbye to your career!

- He's the only one who could know.
- And that picture? Where could he get it?

- He was always in the way.
- Would he have been waited all this time?

- Yes, why not?
- Perhaps we have underrated him.

But can you tell me who he'd have
stolen the picture from?

Maybe you gave him
the picture for free.

Come on, stupid!

For heaven's sake, Vanni,
wait for a while.

- So, what'll we do?
- He's gone back to live there.

- Yes. - Absolute madness!
- Let's make up our minds.

I can't go up, I haven't
been there since that night.

Naturally! Being such
a really strong woman!

That night it was me
who bent his legs to get him inside.

How many times must I tell you again it
was an accident? Manfred had a weak heart.

What should I have done according
to you, maybe get into trouble?

Run the risk of prison?

I'm going to murder that bastard,
hurl him out of the window!

And if it weren't him?

No, I'm sure it's him,
I feel it.

Excuse me, does
Carletto Perugia live here?

There's the same dirt,
the same stink of cabbages.

And of talcum powder.

Water on the infernal flames
of white people.

Water on the infernal flames
of white people!

Look who's returned!

Look who's returned!

Hey! Have you gone mad?

Why mad? Oh, I'm sorry! I wanted
to play a joke on a friend of mine.

Forget it, it doesn't matter.

- Where did you fall from?
- We didn't fall, we were just passing.

Right! We were passing,
we were warm so we said:

"Why not visit our friend Carletto and
get a bucket of water over our heads?"

Lea, what a dish you've become.
I read your book.

The lady of Milan, gee.

So, old friend, what nice things
have you to tell after such a long time?

- What to tell you?
- Right, yeah.

I'll give it some thought, OK?
Give it some thought.

What shall I tell you?
What shall I tell you?

Well, don't worry about him, he's
non-violent, he doesn't eat white people.

Come on, be good and go for a pee,
a pee!

So, are you still here in Milan,
with this heat?

Some hitches...

And Andrea?

- He's at work now, he works.
- Right! He works. - That's fine.

Andrea has probably
become a bigwig by now...

being a guy like that...
you're important too, aren't you?

- Too good.
- Aren't you a fashionable architect?

And you,
did you graduate?

- No, no degree, I'm a lifelong student.
- I think I've understood,

it's sentimental. For me too
when I think of my diploma.

Primary school teacher. Can you imagine
what would she have been teaching?

How did you come back to live here?

Are you going to write your memoirs?

Who knows?
Perhaps homesickness, perhaps...

poverty. as you like.

- Would you like to see your rooms again?
- Wait, let's speak a bit.

- It's years since we last met.
- Let's go, come on.

Excuse me but... Vanni?

Come on, that girl, a friend of mine,
isn't coming back until this evening.

What comes into your mind?

My friend looks so much like you she has
all the qualities to be successful too.

- What a pity!
- A pity? How come?

Well, she doesn't want to go
to bed with me either.

Listen, can you explain why you told me
this matter was skin-deep?

I spoke that way.

If it's skin-deep,
feel, feel...

What a crazy guy, you've not changed,
always the same.

I wish I was crazy those times.

I must tell you I cared for you...

So you don't still care for us now?

Sure, I do care for you.

You're always in my heart!

Vanni, really incredible things occurred
on this bed. A bed of success.

- Everyone exploits the weapons
he knows best. - Right.

- Once upon a time you weren't so brilliant.
- As I told you, once upon a time I was...

an idiot, a dumb guy
and I wasn't so interesting.

And now, what are you?

Still a dumb guy, just like before.

- Cheers! To your health.
- Thank you.

I saw your exhibition, you know.
Not bad.

These ones are enjoyable.

Yeah, I also like these.

Look at that!

Milan, 10th September 1962.

- This one cannot be viewed.
- Why not?

Because, let's say,
it's personal.

Are we really not allowed?

Peekaboo!

Peekaboo!
No typewriter,

it's employed, you know, someone
goes to mountains and another to the sea.

Wow, Koh-i-Nor, gee whiz!

Not so bad your life, eh?

And what about you, Carletto,
how are things with you?

It's fickle. Sometimes
I sell something, I manage.

It's a strange thing, I can't understand
why we lost touch with each other.

"Hello? The lady isn't home. Oh, I'm sorry,
sir, the architect hasn't come back yet".

"I'm so sorry" I spent
a lot of money on phone calls.

But two years have passed
since you left Milan.

Before I left,
you were never free for me.

No one wanted to snub you.

Come on, I'm just kidding...
it's logical, isn't it?

It's life, new...

acquaintances, old friendships
become loose, business, job...

You, for example,
you're always getting the lead out.

- Sorry for the last time we met.
- No, don't worry.

By the way, how is it
that you're paying me a visit today?

To give our regards to you.

For old time's sake.

- And who told you I'm living here?
- Someone at your exhibition.

Understood. Amazing!
It's been a wonderful surprise!

- Listen, Carletto, I need
to know something. - One moment...

- Let's go.
- Here are the October revolutionaries.

These are some wealthy friends of mine.

Here's some foam rubber for shinguards
and foam rubber against truncheons.

Did you ever play revolution?

- So he's a revolutionary now...
- Imagine that!

An up-to-date behaviour,
you know, these protests...

He doesn't seem to understood
much about politics, even lately.

He seems to me, to understand
less about it less than before.

He simply enjoys
playing the intellectual.

And money, what about that?

Not even a step forward,
he was a scrounger and he still is.

In my opinion he's changed.

Yes, he played dumb

but he's anything but stupid.

Mr architect?

Hello, my dear,
nice to see you.

I've not seen you in a month,
you cheated my husband

and told Esmeralda I disgust you.
How am I?

-- I'll explain everything.
- I'm not free this evening.

- Fine, tomorrow. - No, we're meeting
this evening, too easy for you.

OK, as you like, this evening,
I'm sorry but I've some customers.

I forgot about this telegram.

It's from our friend...

"Payment must be made
on the night of the 7th".

And to think that I've asked him
over this evening.

I'm just looking forward to seeing
if he'll have the nerve to come!

- Carletto? Come out.
- Good. How could you guess?

Be quick or
you'll let the heat in.

The red flower is for you,
do you know its meaning?

An ardent love.

For Mao's sake!
Not so bad this little nest.

- May I keep my shoes on?
- Don't play the fool.

Listen, Lea, you mightn't believe me
but I feel rather embarrassed.

Indeed, I might turn into
a painting,

a Persian carpet
or a Chinese porcelain.

- Or even into an air conditioner.
- Come on, come in.

- Here's Carletto.
- Good evening.

Long live the revolution!

This is my husband.

A lucky man.

Nice to meet you.

A perfect construction.

- How are you?
- Fine, thanks.

Here's my husband.

Arturo.

- A perfect suntan.
- Flatterer.

Nice to meet you.
We're OK now.

- And what about Andrea?
- He's coming later.

- Take a seat. - No, you.
- No, please. - Thanks.

We were just waiting for you
for a cake.

Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me.

- I heard you used to protest.
- Don't you?

It's no longer fashionable.

Protests.

They make me laugh, it's just
another way to do business.

- We protest too.
- Yes, this picture is precise, though I...

Come on, you're like us too. Your old
student oddities don't fool me.

We are all made in the same mould.

Some from a better,
others worse.

I've been wondering for 47 hours

whether I had to put a bomb
a few steps from here or not...

Is there a bomb or not?

Could I get a painkiller?
I've such a headache.

Maybe it's the air conditioning,
if you're not used to it...

Oscar, take care of it.

It will pass immediately.

Go on please and don't worry about me.

Yes, I used to go to a guest house too,
but I got a bachelor apartment.

Come on, tell the truth,
what's wrong?

- Vanni used to lend his room to you.
- No, no, if we want to tell the truth...

Just wait, let him speak...

Sure, we're all ears.

Lea was on the ball too,
in short we were just exuberant hicks.

You're a town dweller.

- A pure-blooded one.
- As well as Andrea, those ones...

Instead, the big city
made our heads spin...

So our Andrea worked
for a left-wing newspaper.

Not exactly... not exactly...

Excuse me, what's wrong?

If you changed your mind, it doesn't mean
you killed someone by any chance, does it?

Ice?

Ice?

- Why don't we go and get some air?
- Attention, please, attention...

I know a very funny game...

The goose.

The Chinese goose...

Ring, ring-a-ring-o'-roses...ring,
ring-a-ring-o'-roses...ring, ring...

No, no, penance, penance...

Well done, Oscar. Money. Lea, 9. Ring,
ring-a-ring-o'-roses, ring, ring-a-ring-o'-roses...

penance, penance, penance!
Oscar, count up well please...

Vanni, 9.
Move from stop to prison.

Ring, ring-a-ring-o'-roses.

Lea, 11. Changing of the guard,
changing of the fifteen!

12!

Andrea, who never left, is leaving,
where will he go? To the cloister.

Come on, Andrea, be good,
take the talcum powder.

Penance, penance...

Show me the card...

The woman equals 12...

Might one doubt destiny?

Mad man, ring, ring-a-ring-o'-roses...

Money, ring, ring-a-ring-o'-roses...
Dead man, ring, ring-a-ring-o'-roses,...

Mad man, ring, ring-a-ring-o'-roses...
Hot, ring, ring-a-ring-o'-roses...

Money, ring, ring-a-ring-o'-roses...

Please, we must put in writing...

- But why Filippo?
- No... no... listen to me...

But Lea...

Please, keep the score well...

Be quiet, quiet! Just for a while,
now let's sum up!

What happened?

Oscar, bring some candles right now!

- Damn!
- The fuse is out of order, madame.

- OK, thank you.
- What happened to your foot?

Nothing, nothing...

So, why did you cry out?

A little cramp.

I'm sorry, guys, but I've got to go,
I made an appointment. Sorry.

- Sure. Revolutionaries go
to bed early. - Right.

Red flower.

Thank you for
your hospitality.

Hey, you wouldn't
put a bomb on my doorstep?

Don't worry, Filippo, don't worry.

- Your turn will come, but not
this evening. - Can you tell us when?

Look around,
keep your eyes open wide.

Who knows...
maybe one day you'll understand.

Good, Oscar. Goodbye!

Hey, at 2 o'clock this house... bang!

- Good night, darling.
- Good night.

Listen, dear, I almost forgot that
I need a million for tomorrow morning.

Can you make a check out? Thanks.

- Thanks.
- OK, darling.

You'll skip your journey to India.

- Darling?
- Yes.

- How nice Carletto is.

And what a memory.

There we are.

Here's the beginning of the adventure
of Mr Bonaventura.

Here are the millions.

The bill first...

Thanks.

You've become wiser too.

My dear, those old times
have long gone.

- Good morning, madame.
- Good morning.

- Are you staying at home?
- I think so.

I'm almost sure I won't
be back home for dinner.

See you later, my dear, bye.

Ah, give my regards to Carletto.

Why should I see Carletto?

Just a thought.

So what do I with the suitcases?
Do I have to unpack?

Ask the lady for that.

- Madame?
- Put them into the refrigerator!

- Hi, Lea.
- Hello.

Yes, then I invited him for dinner

and he used the usual excuse
of another commitment.

I did insist but nothing doing.

This evening he's not free.

It's obvious, he wants the money.

So that pig has an appointment?

OK. I'll go out right now.

- And now where are you going?
- Wherever I want.

And what am I doing here?

My dear, whatever you want,
get down to it.

- What happened?
- Nothing, he outran me.

- How is it possible?
- I don't know, he disappeared.

- So we have to pay?
- Of course, did you bring the money?

Here it is.

My thought is it's really stupid
to waste 4 millions this way.

If only we would purge this trouble
once and for all.

And right away,
otherwise goodbye to summer.

Well, if I could only
lay my hands on him!

No, don't move.

IT'S NOT ENOUGH.

Not enough...

No, nothing, he didn't keep in touch.

I already told you,
in my opinion he disappeared.

Yes, a telegram arrived a hour ago.

It says: "8 + 1,

delivery is for
tomorrow evening, no excuses".

Understood? 8 + 1.

Understood,
yes, right, understood!

What the hell!?

Where have you been?

I made a jump to Tahiti.

No, no, I was kidding...
I had something to do.

It's cool, would you like some?

Listen, Carletto,

do you think my life
has always been a bed of roses?

Do you?

No. I've had
to swallow many bitter pills.

If you only knew to what lengths
I had to go and what else besides.

I had to laugh
even when I didn't like it,

do things which sickened me.

Accept people who sicken me

when everything inside
rises against it?

Do you understand the price I had
to pay to pretend to be someone?

What are you trotting out now?

Come on, Vanni, don't get angry.

Listen, I need a favour...

I'm embarrassed but...
I need one hundred thousand lire.

Don't worry,
you'll soon get it back.

Really.

You know, my folks have just put up
my grandmother's cottage for sale, a hole.

It's just a few poor stones,
but maybe we'll earn some millions from it.

Right. I'm glad for you.

But be careful you won't be
hit on the head

when you go to the bank.

It's Mr Carletto.

Hello.

Do you know I don't have
your phone number?

689 556.

- Please, sit down.
- Thanks.

Congratulations. I heard you're going
to sell your grandmother's cottage.

A small thing, you know,
8 million in total.

This is for you.

I noticed you liked it a lot
so I've brought it to you.

You recognize it, don't you?

Sorry if it's only half
but I like it too.

It's the one I'm most fond of.

Even if it's half,
you want it anyway, don't you?

Is something wrong?

In short, I still don't know what
to think about us, about you, about Vanni.

You came to the guest house,
invited me into your home.

Andrea even brought those two bigheads.
Suddenly all this interest in me

and then you make that face.

I must lie down for a while.

A headache?

Carletto, come in if you want.

Come, come.

Sit down.

Come closer.

Do you remember? "Anthropov ennepe
Mousa polutropon os mala polla"...

Do as you did then, come on.

"Anthropov ennepe Mousa
polutropon os mala polla".

"Anthropov ennepe Mousa polutropon
os mala polla"...

What are you doing?

- Did I scare you?
- Of course.

Try them.
Take them as a present.

By the way where are you going
on holiday this summer?

I don't know.
I don't think I'll go.

Really?

Madame, madame,
there's Mr Luca who...

Right. I see we have the same size.

It's decided. Carletto will come
together with us.

Take it, this is for Lea.

SHAME ON YOU, SWINE

The sea? Are you kidding? Right away,
on the night of 13th, same place...

the amount is 8 + 2. Thanks.
PS: I'm no longer going to wait.

He sent this letter before leaving,
that same day.

Now we have to take a decision.

What's to be done?

What's to be done?

- Why don't you kiss me?
- I don't want to.

Why not?

Stop it.

Why don't you want to kiss me?

- No...
- Kiss me...

- No.
= Why don't you want to kiss me?

Isn't it enough for you to make love?

See, I come and you're leaving,
I'm really sorry.

Listen, I've got to go back to Milan,
I have a commitment.

A pity, because I was feeling
just like a Pasha here.

But unfortunately
commitments are commitments.

Let us three hop off to Milan,
they wrote me

Titti can only stop off for a few days.

Right.

Well, thanks for the lift.
See you. Bye.

Bye.

With the windows closed and the razor,
a horn could hardly be heard...

The windows will be closed,
the razor will be on.

But I ought to have a cast-iron alibi.

But why just me?!

Lea would come,
honk at a fixed hour.

Let's say, at ten.

Then she ought to call
on the entrance phone.

And you ought to tell Carletto
he has to throw the keys to her...

And Carletto?
Where would he be at that moment?

- Wait! - I can't go and call him at all.
- Quiet, calm down.

Carletto should stay on a balcony
to throw the keys to Lea.

You must be very quick.

But you... are you sure
about the tenants?

They are all on holiday.

What if someone, going around for
a walk by chance, should look up?

We must keep calm,
we must keep calm!

Calm.

Listen! Why should it be just me?

And who should it be?! Me?

- No, no, no honking.
- A phone call, decide!

No phone call, Lea should come calmly
with Filippo, ring the doorbell.

Call on the entrance phone, you would
tell her the main door doesn't open.

So the only thing not working,

is the button opening
the main door, right?

But one could see everything from here.

Behind the wall, yes.

Well, at that moment
everyone ought to stay here.

Right...

but how?

Too late, my dear.

By then Carletto would have
already gone indoors.

I'm not breaking my neck!

What if Carletto should turn...

if he should hold out?

Didn't you practice judo once?

- I don't agree...
- Stop it!

You don't think Carletto is a leaf?

But it's simple!

- He's here, looking down, at this
point you come... - But who tells you...

he'll be looking down when I come?

Sure he'll be looking, I'll be talking
to him from the sidewalk.

I'll be asking him for something
and make conversation until...

You come and put a hand here
and on top, done! But all out!

- Don't you see his hands are trembling?
- Want to be a guinea pig? Tell me.

Titti only stops off
for a couple of days,

A little party
seems appropriate to me.

No, look, I don't give
a damn about Titti.

Agreed, OK,
if you insist.

At Vanni's, understood?
Now put me through to Laura.

Hello? Yes, yes,
I've just heard, dear.

You want all of us in Milan.

Sure, it's necessary.
See you soon.

Bye.

What if Carletto shouldn't come?

What if Carletto doesn't die?

Dead man, ring, ring-a-ring-o'-roses...
money, ring, ring-a-ring-o'-roses...

How unlucky.
He must have drunk too much.

FOR CARLETTO, HIS FRIENDS

Watch out! There's a slippery area
of six square meters on my right.

Hello...

Hello... can you hear me?

It's Carletto speaking.

Attention! Attention!
It's Carletto speaking.

Are you ready to hear me?

You hit it,

it's just me, your blackmailer.

Shame on you, swine!

On the night of 4th
take 8 million to the 9th km,

near the abandoned house in the field
of beehives. It's not enough...

8 + 2. The sea? Are you kidding?
Shame on you, swine!

How much fear, how many millions
for a little pornographic picture.

I agree, it's not so presentable,

but what the heck!
You must keep your nerve.

I thought you were tough...

Weren't so tough, you?

Raise your distraught spirits,

no blackmail.

I just wanted to joke.

I was getting bored.

You know I'm a bit mad, don't you?

Incidentally:

I found the small and
execrable picture inside a drawer

by chance at the guest house,

who put it there?
Not me for sure.

Don't be scared.

it's the only copy,
now in your hands.

- Hey Carletto, what are you doing?
- I'm making a will.

You're crazy!
Want to see a movie?

Yes, just a moment.

The door, please.

Hello, hello? Finally I've decided.

I'm saying farewell.

I'm walking away
from your life on tiptoe...

once and for all.

Rodolfo D'Asburgo...
Mayerling.

As I said before,
never take a joke too far.

And then I run the risk...

of becoming like you...

or falling back to be
the earlier Carletto.

Do you remember
the earlier Carletto,...

who wanted to be good like you
without being able?

How sad.

Nowadays I'm really liking myself.
Well, kissing my own face in the mirror.

So, thanks for everything...

to Vanni for his spray,

to Andrea for his critics,
to Lea...

Lea...

you're a fucking whore.

The end. Goodbye.

Attention again! Attention again!

Listen a while,
about that big blond guy,

the third dirty pig in the picture,
who the hell is he?

I couldn't trace him at all.
That made me so angry.

Thought for a while
about playing a joke on him too.

Maybe he's become
an archbishop by now.

Carletto, excuse me,
Lea has arrived.

Why don't we go for a swim?

Are we going?

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