Vampire Warriors (2010) - full transcript

Vampire Warriors follows the uneasy friendship between vampire hunter Ar (Jiang Lu-Xia) and a family of "vegetarian" vampires, including Max (Chrissie Chau) and her womanizing father Lung (Chin Siu-Ho). Ar spends her days walking around hunting down bad vampires, while Max and her good vampire friends hang around town aimlessly, complaining about how bored they are. That all changes with the arrival of Mung (Yuen Wah), a vampire kills other vampires to make himself more powerful (aren't they always?). When Ar realizes that Mung's dragging her sister (Law regular Pinky Cheung) with him, she joins forces with the vegetarian vampires to fight their common enemy.

Your alcohol tolerance is high.

Are you okay?
Hold on! I can't take anymore!

How come you're so weak?

Heidi's alcohol tolerance is low.

Are you okay?

Where to?

Where to? You'll know if you follow me.

I have the music we talked about.

Wanna listen?

Who're you? Stop staring, would you?

Take a look at what you're kissing.

You blind dude?

Run! Help!

Who're you? Why did you intervene?

I'll kill you!

Have you seen a lady vampire called Sue
who wears a red cape?

Sure, I know her.

I know where she is.

Let me lead you there.

Is the one you talked
about two hundred years old?

That's her.

Almost two hundred years old.

Wrong answer.

The one I'm looking for is only
a few years old.

What? Why're you hiding outside?

Are you able to sniff my blood?

Come in! Be my guest.

What? You know I don't drink human blood.

Really? You should try it,
for the first time.

Really? Then I'd give
you an excuse to kill me.

I'm not that dumb.

How could that be?

I consider it as a blood
donation to the Red Cross.

Cut the crap!

How could I give you my virginity?

Then... who would you give it to?

Not gonna tell you,
you can't keep a secret.

Won't be Tom Cruise, right?

He's already old.

Good to be old, high blood pressure.

No need to suck hard,
the blood will just burst from the artery.


Cum inside your mouth... with blood.

What? Come inside my mouth?

You're bad.

Really works?

Of course.

Have you tried it?

Nuts! I never have a boy friend.


Of course.


What're you doing?

Take a look if you have that virgin mole

What do you wanna do?

Yes, a virgin should have it!

No more playing!

Let me take a look!



What're you doing?

How's that?

Are you able to sniff
where the vampire goes?



What're you doing here?

Who is it?

Come out.

Dad, what're you doing here?

Nothing! What's up?

Nothing! She is also a vegetarian

I can smell it.

It means alright.

Who're they?


Friends, we always come out for fun.


But she called you dad?

Did she? No!

Mister, how old are you?

A hundred something.

A hundred something?

Even your daughter is
older than one hundred.

What you said is wrong.

My daughter looks young.

How could she look like
she is over a hundred?

It means that she is your daughter.


Better take a good look of his big son.


Uncle, how old are you?

Age should not be an obstacle.

My face doesn't look old.

No more joking!

If I wanna look for an old face

I'll find a mummy in Egypt.

Won't find any mummies here.

Me instead.

Because I'm a daddy.


Go to hell!

Beauty, please don't go.

Dad Dad.

Why did you do that?

I only called you dad.

You're really our dad.

I know, I know I'm your dad.

But take a look, do I look that old?

Dad, when was last time you looked
in a mirror? A thousand years ago?

You're such an eloquent girl.

Speaking arrogantly.

It'll affect our father
and daughter relationship.


From now on, we're all on our own.


The night is still young

I still have time to party.

Let's go.

Our dad is so ridiculous

dating young girls at his age.

But your dad looks handsome.


Dad! Come back quickly!

There's a girl who likes you.


Damn kid, joking around again?

I see some good food over there.

What good food?

What is it?

You'll find it out when you come over.

A pangolin.

It was here.

I just saw it.

Who were you chasing?

Dunno, I thought she was my sister.

Are you still looking for your sister?


Have you seen a vampire in red?

We're vampires.

How do we know where the vampires are?

Lots of human out there.

I smell an old woman.
I can tell she'll die soon.

How much longer you think she will last?

Let's bet.

Sure! On what?

Gulp this water down if you lose.

Serious! How would I finish such a big one?

Serious! Are you scared?

Are you scared of me?

No. Alright! Come on!

Max, do you wanna play?


OK, help us keep time.

You all get ready.

Whom do you think will win?

Kar! She is eight hundred years old!
Very strong.

I think Rex will win.

We'll see.

On your mark? Ready?

One, two, three.

Fifty-eight seconds.

Thirty-one seconds.

Sixty one seconds.

She is dead!

How many seconds?

Fifty-eight seconds.

Damn it! Can't hold on
for three more seconds.

I win.

Big deal.

I don't care.

Two botttles, one for each.

We have to drink it all?

How could Lin finish such a big one?

Forget it, we quit.

Why do you help Lin?
Do you have a crush on her?

No way.

It's okay, I'll drink it.


Are you sure? Let me help you.

No! The worst thing that
could happen is death.

Trust me, I died before.

Come on! Cheers!


Don't act like an idiot.


Are you okay?

Already told you
not to pretend to be so tough.

If you can't drink it, just let me help.

Thought you were always lucky.

Gulping down some pig
blood is gonna be okay?

Don't you know that lots of vampires
are poisoned to death by water?

I don't care.

Maybe it's better to
die than to be a vampire.

Is being a vampire that miserable?


I agree.

Being a vampire is so boring.

Don't play with my stuff.

I had a dream that I was going to die.

Eight hundred years

I've been a vampire for eight hundred years

I'm stuck in a life without any feeling.

Not hurt! Not hurt!

I just can't feel anything.

I'm a corpse.

No feeling.

You really are a bummer.

You always say unkind words.


Unhappy again?


Thinking of Sue again?

I'm hungry, I'll go eat

I wanna go too.

Don't you think they're gay?

If Ar was a tom-boy,
she'd attract a lot of girls.

You don't say...

I also wanna know if you're lesbians?

That's disappointing.

We've a crush on you for so long.

And you think we're lesbians?

What did you say?

There's something that
we can't speak about.

Actions speak louder than words.


Lin! go!

Stop it! No!

Take off his pants.


Don't move!

Are you Madam Joyce's friend?

Are you Joey?

This is the friend who
you were talking about.


OK, follow me.

Let me find a good spot.

What is this place?

Hey! Aren't we going to hotels?

Don't you hear me?

I got a name. I'm May.

May, so where're we going?

Madam Joyce told me
that you're high-class call-girls.

How come you've never been
to a private club house?

It doesn't look like anyone is living here.

Don't be scared

I borrowed you both from Madam Joyce.

I'm responsible for your safety.

Don't worry. Should you get hurt,

I'll be in big trouble!

Let's go! This customer is very gentle.

Let's go.

It's so horrible Joey?

I wanna leave.

Excuse me, May.

We wanna leave, we won't do it.

Since you've already come,
why don't you finish what we've started?

What's wrong with you! We quit!

Leave after you finish.

Go to hell! What's wrong with you?

I'll get someone to kill you!

Help! Joey!

What does he want?

The boss is here.

Handsome! Calm down!

Take it easy.

You just wanna have fun.

We'll accommodate you.

But you must wear condoms.

Condoms? What's that for?

Please don't kill me!

Who're you?

Don't die yet! Gimme some more time!
Please. Hey, stay alive!

You have to be alive
for me to take you soul!

What a waste!

Why did I hit him so hard?

He is top-rated.


There's one more, I don't want to waste it.


Please! Let me go!

Please let me go!

No! No!

Disgusting, you have no manner at all?

Did you find the place?

You said that you were hungry

I'm looking.

Did you think the one in red is Sue?

I think so.

Have you found it? What do you wanna eat?

Find it! Come over!


We're thieves.

Are you screwing with me?

A vegetarian restaurant?
You can't be serious?

Did you say you are hungry?

You witch!

Goodness! Not even
a tiny drop of pig blood.

Can you eat ketchup?

I just wanna play with it in my mouth,
can't I?

Sure! Keep playing!

Is that shrimp?

Not a real one.

It is made of yellow
bean, flour and gluten.

Looks real, right?

And this?

Fish fillet.

Doesn't look real.

This celery looks so real.

What is it made of?

Are you full?

What about you?


Do I smell good?

Stinky witch.

Don't you wanna try my blood?

No! Pig blood tastes better.

Only talking.

Just the blood,
any animal is just about the same.

Sucking blood is for getting their spirit.
To do that, we have to kill people.

But I don't wanna kill people.

Aren't you the noble one?

Do unto others what you would not have done
to yourself.


You look pretty when you smile

I wanna be able to smile like that.

Try it.

What're you laughing at?

I'm a vampire. How could I smile?

People are very funny lately.

They go for Botox.

They inject poison into their flesh
to make it stiff and dead.

Really ridiculous.

Guess they've got too
much money to squander.

How come you don't have much money?

I started killing vampires with my father
when I was young.

Never in school.

I'm illiterate.

You can't find a job if you can't read.


Humans have their own problems.

It's late.

Good night.

Good night.


Rex, still not asleep?


Corgi? Where are those Corgi?

Where are they?

I'm talking to you. Where're you going?

Rabbit again.

Why are you always eating my stuff
without asking me?

I bought those Corgi.

What about dad? He's not back yet?

How would I know?

Stop stealing my stuff.

It was British Short hair last time,
and this time, Corgi.

What's wrong with you? Are you a thief?

I love western cuisine.

If you like it, buy it yourself.
Why did you eat mine?

OK! I'll get it myself, next time.

You better! I'll remember you said that!


You said you live alone.


They come to visit me.

Who're you cheating?


What Beauty? I have a name.

You're really bad.

Don't leave, Beauty.


Don't you remember my name?


Go to hell!

Are you really leaving?

Why're you here? Aren't you going out?

Yes, we are! We'll go to the harbour front.

Why aren't you going?

I haven't changed my clothes yet.

You are corpses. Whatever
you wear, you're still dead bodies.

So are you, then why would you change?

That's because I got style.

Where's Ar? Going out so early?

Don't know.

Why're you following me?

Didn't I knock you hard enough?

Hello... My breakfast.

Are you hitting people or the organs?

Where can you run?

Miss Yes.

Yes, can I help you?

Do you know where the Tai Fu Village is?

Three to four blocks ahead.

Turn left and go further down for awhile.


Very close.

Very close? Can you lead me there, Miss?

Miss, please

please help out this old woman

I wanna visit my grandson.

It's already late. If I arrive there late.

My daughter-in-law will be angry with me


OK! I'll take you over.

Thank you.

What? Won't you help me in?

What do you want?

You asked me what I wanted?

Really!.just what do you want?

The evil force is very strong here.



You go first!

Where are they? Didn't
they say harbour front?

Should be here.

Over there.

They're really turning up the heat.

They're really passionate.

They're over doing it.

I really wanna try kissing?

Showtime! Showtime!

I'd like to know what kissing is like.

I could actually see our lips touched.

But still, I felt nothing.

Horny tramps!

So boring.

I also wanna be able to feel.

I wanna smile, I wanna cry.

But first, you should be able to feel pain.

As a vampire, you're asking too much.

You even want to know what pain is?

My mother once told me
that pain is very important.

Pain tells you that you're injured.

And that you required treatment.

She also said that
it wasn't just the pain physically.

But that when people were unhappy.

They would get headaches.

Heart burn.

They're symptoms to warn you
that you have problems.

It let you take action early,

or else it could be too late
when the real trouble comes.

So that's what it is.

I'm bored! What're we going to do?

What's good to do?

We're vampires.

We should do thing that is appropriate
to what we are.

It's so boring!
I don't wanna be a vampire anymore.

I jump too.

I'm coming.

Let's jump.


Why did we jump? We knew it won't hurt.

What does my great sister want?

Nothing! I can't even complain?

I've water.

Why did you throw my water away

Max also threw you botttles.
Why don't you punch her?

I'd just like to punch you.

That's super!

Yes! He landed on his head
without hurting himself.

How could he do that?

What? They're idiots

I don't think so.

They have guts.

You haven't seen much.

Why don't you give it a try?

Yoyo, what are you doing?

Anything they can do, I can do better!

Yoyo, you're so brave.

Super! It felt just great!

Are you okay?

It hurts! Oh no!

It's very painful!

I think I just broke my back.
Call the ambulance at once!

Really painful! Help!

What're you hitting?

No matter what you do,
you're still a corpse.

Why did you hit my breasts?

It proves that
they aren't an ordinary breasts?

They're super bowling balls.

Bowling balls? Don't you run, witch!

Let me squeeze yours No!

Mine are just #8 balls.
They're for children.

How dare you say that they're for children.

Will that be too R-rated?

What I'm referring is bowling ball.

Don't run! Bowling balls?

Don't run! What I said were bowling balls.

Gosh, you're so sick.


Your T-shirt is so beautiful.
Where did you get it?

These girls are bad.

But that tall guy looks good

I'll lock up this target first, you don't.

Do you like my T-shirt?

I bought it in Mongkok.
I can take you there.

It has nothing to do with me.

Let's exchange phone numbers.

How about you giving me your phone number.

Let's run.

Don't run! Wait!

What's wrong with him?

So impolite Crazy.

They aren't pursuing.

You witch, you're just making trouble

I didn't.

Are you sick? Sniffing her period!

Crazy! I didn't.

No? You still deny it.


Here you are.

OK! OK! See you tomorrow.

OK! Bye!

Good night! Good night!

Max and Rex are truly a lot of fun

Max won't get angry easily.

That's right.

Are you a human or a vampire?

I'm a vampire.

But not an ordinary one.


I don't know how to describe it.

In short, I'm a vampire who eats vampires.

Still able to crawl? Lively!


Let's see how you taste.

What do you want?

Not aged enough, tasteless.

This one is probably good enough.
It should taste better.


This is true vampire indeed.

You're worthless.

A loser, can't eat vampires.

You kill them this way.

They will suffer in the hell forever.

None of your business.


Are you mocking me?

Humans eats pigs, vampires eat humans

I beat other vampires
and feast on their blood.

This is called survival of the fittest.

That is simply natural.

Lions and tigers are carnivores.

Whereas cows are vegetarians.
That's the way it is.

If you force a cow to eat meat.

The cow will die.


You call this crap.

I think it's very meaningful.

Let me teach you a lesson.

How do you like it?

I'll mess you up.
You won't die, and you won't live either.

It's because you didn't
take me as you lover

I hate rejections.

I want you to live in pain forever.

Right, I almost forget.



Ar, why're you here?

These rats are for you Thank you.

Rats! You don't eat rats.

Do they have any rashes or hives?

Why are you kicking me?

You simply don't eat rats.

None of your business, go to sleep.

I just leave you girls here, I'll go home.

Ar, where did you go?

Nothing special, just works.

How many vampires did you kill tonight?

This one was rare.

An old woman turned out to be a vampire
in her seventies.

However, her power was very weak.

How about you? Where did you play?

We went bungee diving at the pier.

So boring.

What fun can a vampire have? Exactly?

Is it that bad to be a vampire?

It do you thing?

Sometimes I think that it would be better
to be a corpse than a vampire.

At least I don't need to know anything
if I'm dead.

It's the opposite for us.

Yet we're unable to feel anything.

When we meet someone
we love, someone we like.

We're unable to touch them or hug them.

We can't taste anything.

Or feel any pain.

It's just the same routine everyday,
eat and sleep, eat and sleep.

It's like being a tree.

Is that it?

Then, what is you reason for living?

If I live, I can see my father, my brother

Kar and Lin. Other than these,

there'll be no other reason for not dying.

What about me?


You're also very important.

Only if I don't die

I'll be able to see you age and die.

If you're able to get
married and give birth

I'll be able to see your children die.

To see your grand children die.

Pretty interesting.

Not sure if your children look like you?

Very funny?

Pretty funny.

Good night.


Good night.

This female vampire is really good.


Yet this is a vampire hunter.

Let me think it thoroughly.

Little girl, just how old are you?

For nothing better,
you choose be a vampire hunter.

You don't want to see another day-break!

Take a good look.

Is it good?

They can move.

Too bad that we're not friends, otherwise

I'll let you touch my body.

It got body temperature. See...

My body temperature is 18C today.

You monster.

In fact, you're not much of a fighter

I don't need to be afraid of you
if I knew it earlier.

I don't suck human blood originally

I break my rule today just for you.

Sue, my sister.

Ar, my sister.

Are you crazy, Sue?

Try to kill me with this steel bar?

I was purposely testing you.

Giving you a chance.

I never thought that you want me to die.



What a touching reunion scene?

Never mind, still early

I'll let you enjoy
this tender moment a bit longer.

What? Nothing to say?

Why this way?

Don't you curious why Sue
turns into a vampire?

Ask her.

When I tried to catch him eight years ago.

I was defeated and bitten by him.

Not right

I wanted to marry you eight years ago.

But you refused me and I got mad.

It's so natural.

Little girl, how about I marry you?


Ar, you better run.

He is heartless

I'm not gonna leave

I have already transformed into a vampire.

There's no way back for me.

Death is my only resolution.

This is brave

I finally understand why I like you.

Why aren't you leaving?

We both die if you don't go.

Save your life and revenge for me.

Don't lose your life for nothing.

What do you want again?

I wanna kill a vampire today.

How come you're so humorous today?

Killing yourself?

Let me finish eating up those vampires.


Why are you hurting so badly?


Why are you here?

We're leaving

I'm here to say goodbye.


My dad's girlfriend was eaten
by a vampire nearby.


A vampire-eating vampire.

Where's your dad?

At home.

Is a vampire eaten by another vampire?

This is our vampire business,
none of your concern.

Sue was killed by a vampire.

Sue was a vampire too.

Can a vampire drink
another vampire's blood?

It's the demon way.

Those who suck the spiritual blood of
another vampire can strengthen their power.

But the vampire that
feeds on vampire's blood.

Will bring harms to his body.

Those who do that are...

in need to suck blood
from different vampires everyday.

If not, they'll die promptly

Rex, take care of Max.

Hey mister.

Since you're here, please show yourself.

Since you're here, let's meet.

Are you looking for me? I'm here.

I'm Lung. And you are?

I'm Mung.

I'm a fifteen hundred years old vampire

I'm asking for your kindness and leniency.

Let go of these three young people.

You can have me any way you like
with my hands tied up.


That's an interesting offer.

You've more than a thousand years strength.

Rich inside, with inner beauty.

But the little girl is so young and fresh.

It's hard to choose between you two.

What should I do?

Nonsense! There's no need to choose

I can simply take both.

You won't let the young ones go?

Are you asking me this at this moment?
Is that a funny gag?


The sun is coming out soon.

Ar, please take care of Max.

He'll not be unable to get you.

Dad, I'm not leaving!

Dad! Dad!

Rex, are you scared of death?

No, dad.


Let's do the man thing.

You father and son are pretty interesting.

Good! Let's have fun.

Dad! Rex!

What happened to you?

Answer me!

Dad! Rex!

Answer me!

Your sister is calling you, answer her.

Dad! Rex!

How are you doing?

Answer me!

Your sister is still calling, answer her.

You have no manner at all.

Dad! Rex!

Where are you?

Actually, a vampire can feel a lot of pain.

By squeezing the heart

Rex! What's happened?

Scream again!

Any feeling?

Any feeling?

Rex! How are you?

What can I do?

Beauty, are you still there?

You bastard! What do you want?

What do you want? Talk to me!


I just don't want you
to leave, if possible?

If you don't leave

I promise I won't kill your brother.

What do you think?

Are you serious?

Of course.

Should I trust him?

OK! I'm not leaving!

You have to keep your words!

Sure! It's settled then!

You have a father.

What about your mother? Where is she?

Scream again!


What are you doing?
You said you wouldn't kill him

I didn't kill him

I just made him hurt.

You shouldn't ignore me in the first place

I tell you! I tell you!

My mom passed away.

Many years ago.

Where's my father?

Where's my father? How is he?

Where's my father?

He's dead.

And he tasted real good.

What are you looking at?

You're crying... with tears.

So many metal plates?

I'm a human, I can get hurt.

What's so strange?

Wouldn't those metal plates slow you down?

Bite me.

I wanna be a vampire.

What are you talking about?

If I become a vampire

I'll have your vampire
body and super powers.

My wounds will also heal.

Then, maybe I can fight him.

Being a vampire is miserable.

Is this what you really want?

Rather than drag out my miserable
existence, I can die on my own terms.

If I can sacrifice myself
for something meaningful.

It's not so bad I guess.

If I don't kill him today

I'll regret it for the rest of my life.

Rather than live in pain forever.

I wish to fight and die with honor.

Hold on.

Let me feel the sun for the last time.

Don't you want to know how it feels?

Come on!

Give me your hand.

How is it? OK?

It's OK.

Much more than OK.

That's what pain is all about.

Let's begin.

The night is here.

Get up.

I squeezed too hard and killed you

I'll have to explain it to them.

Have they left?

Still here or not?

Can you hear me?


You don't have to hide.

Are you still here?

I wanna discuss something with you.

I killed your brother

by accident.

It was merely a matter of carelessness.

How about...

I'll make it up to you

I'll count from one to one hundred.

And let you go first, OK?

I'm counting.

Max, if I lose

I don't want you to come out and save me

I'd rather you leave.

Sacrifice is dying for
something meaningful.

To court death is unnecessary

I'd rather you leave

and avenge me at another time.


What's this? You keep crying.

If you act like this, I'll be worried.

You better take care.

What's wrong with you?

You wasted your life
and turned yourself into a vampire?

Are you crazy?

For all the things that I did...

I could get just a bit of human feelings.

So why did you make yourself a vampire?

What's wrong with you?

I'm willing to enter
hell for my loved ones.

A worthless piece of slime like yourself
would never understand.

Even a cockroach will
do anything to survive.

Only a human will die for his loved ones.

To die for loved ones?

Which means you're certain
that you will loose and die.

Good! You know your limits!

Come on!

Lets me send you to hell!

You're the same as before, no improvement.

Max! I can't make it much longer!

You better get out of here!

I'm not leaving! I'd rather die!

Right! Don't leave!

Stay here and watch the big ending.

Is he dead?

Those vampires who were killed by him

should be free now.

Dad and the rest are set free.

Maybe they can be reincarnated as humans.

What about yourself after this?

I'll keep going after man-killing vampires.

But there's one thing

I gotta settle right now.

I'm hungry.

I'm telling you that I'm hungry,
you should help me find food.

What kind of attitude is this?

Did you forget who bit you
and turned you into a vampire?

As a matter of fact,
you should address me as Master.

Master my ass! Quickly!
Show me where to find food.

Find my ass!

Didn't you say
that you wouldn't hurt the good vampire?

The one who attempts to starve another
vampire to death is a bad vampire.

OK... then... what would you like to eat?


Snakes are cold-blooded, can't eat them.


Why would I lie to you.

You have a lot to learn as you go.

Being a vampire is just troublesome