Vampire Hookers (1978) - full transcript

Carradine is an aged vampire who has a bevy of vampiric beauties who lure many of their customers back to his lair. A pair of virile young Navy sailors get mixed up in their shenanigans.

She meanwhile with

strawberry lips cajoles,

and like an asp writhing

on burning coals,

moist on my lips, and

liken rode to sleep

thine ancient conscience in

my couch as deep.

I am so learned,,

that when men

I crushed to my dreaded heart,

or to their mumbling

kisses bare my bust,

so frail, so bold, so shy,

and so robust that impotent angels

damned themselves for me.

- All my life I've

heard about sailors

having a girl in every port,

and this is the first

port I've seen.

- You know I don't think

you'd know what to do

if you'd got your hands on a girl.

- I'd know enough to get more

than my hands on her.

By the time you figured it out,

she'd be more worked over than

a $2 hooker at a

Shriner's convention!

Ooh, I can handle it.

I know, you been handling it

all the way from San Francisco.

And you'll be dreaming about it

all the way back to San Francisco!

- Why don't we just stow these

bags in the barracks,

and hit the town? - I'm with you!

Okay!

Man are we lucky to be

stationed here!

Yes we are!

Would you look at this place,

it's fantastic!

- You know this is the

Paris of the Orient!

I bet you could find anything you

wanted on this street,

just like Eddie said!

If Eddie said it,

you can bet your bottom dollar

on it being here!

- Oh yeah, Chief wouldn't

steer us wrong man!

Nope! - Nope, you know,

that old salt's

looking out for us.

- That he is! - Eh,

somebody has to!

Huh?

Hey Chief!

Hey Eddie!

- How did you get

down here so fast?

- I just happen to know

the right people.

Julio here is the best damn cab

driver in this city.

Julio, this is Tom Buckley

and Terry Wayne.

Hi fellas! - Listen,

you guys need anything around

town while you're here,

anything at all, just, oh

just ask me and

Julio can find it for you.

If Julio can't find it, it

can't be found.

Now listen, I know

everybody around here,

and they know me around here,

so you need anything, just ask.

- But don't ask now, we

have to shove off.

- Where you off to? -

Oh we got some

important business to

take care of.

Oh yeah, what's her name?

And does she have a sister, huh?

Later fellas, later.

Let's go Julio.

- See

you later Eddie!

- Take it easy! - Can

you believe that?

He's already got something set up!

- Well there's nothing

to worry about!

We're gonna have

something set up too,

faster than a cat can

lick its ass!

And I know how to find women!

Is that right? - That's right!

- Then why are we

standing over here

when all the girls are over there?

Hmph!

This gonna be easier than

falling in a creek!

And a whole hell of a

lot more fun!

Whoo-hoo!

Hey Joe!

Come on, we're having a party!

Hold on, hold on a minute,

Wait, go get... - Huh?

Oh but we're gonna find girls,

but just,

you know, gotta be neighborly,

let's have a beer,

isn't that right! - Come on!

We're having a birthday party!

Oh my goodness!

Who's birthday, huh? -

His birthday!

- Oh, happy birthday! - Happy

birthday, whoa ho!

Mm-huh!

Now you taste our food, no?

Huh? - Better yet, this one!

What? - You take a this, balut.

A what? - A balut!

- A balut? - Yeah, it's

good for you!

Oh yeah?

- Oh yeah? - Makes you

strong in bed!

- Well we'll try some

of this then!

What do you, just crack

it on the table?

Hey no no no no! - Yeah?

You don't do it that way!

What? - We do it this way.

Oh how you do it.

- Look for the big end, see?

- Uh-huh.

And just, crack it a little.

Uh-huh. - Then peel it,

Yeah. - and you can see inside,

there's some water on it.

Uh-huh. - Uh-huh.

Uh-huh. - And then you put some

little salt. - Little salt.

- Uh-huh. - And then, you

sip the water.

Sip the water? - Yeah.

Tastes good huh? - Not bad!

Why don't you try it?

No, no...

- Then what do you do,

then what do you do?

Peel it, you know,.

- Peel it,. - The

rest of the way.

The rest of the way. - Uh-huh.

Peel it on off here, uh-hmm.

Little bit... - Yeah yeah yeah...

Put some, add some salt again,

more salt!

Lil' more salt, huh? - Yeah.

You know, just for

seasoning and all that,

Uh-hmm. - that okay, and eat it.

Eat it. - All the way.

Eat it?

Uh-huh. - One piece huh.

- No the whole thing!

- Whole thing?

- Yeah swallow it whole - Just,

just put the

whole thing in... -

Yeah yeah yeah,

put it, yeah...

Yeah right on!

What is it?

Balut!

What is, what is balut?

An unborn to duck.

A what? - An unborn duck!

Huh, taste good? - You mean like,

quack quack, duck?

Yeah right!

Quack, quack duck!

Taste good!

Hey come here!

You wanna try it? - No!

Oh come on, you try it! - No!

Oh come on, okay!

Hey Joe!

- It's the oldest

rule in the book!

You want to find girls,

go to where the music is!

The louder the music,

the more girls.

This place loud enough to

blow your eardrums!

- It's not my eardrums

I want blown.

- That waiter comes

around, order me another beer.

And I'm gonna go make room for it.

Uh, excuse me but uh,

I think you're in the wrong, uh,

I mean, not that you

haven't got anything

I haven't seen before! - You

want to see it now?

Now?

Here?

Well uh, my buddy's waiting.

So am I.

What do you do for a living?

Do you work? - I play.

I work like a dog.

I'll do it however you want.

That's what I like to hear.

Actually I'd love to.

Not now Wayne.

Wayne, come on!

Wayne will you please-

Help, help! - You've got balls?

You want to find girls you go to

where the music is.

- Well then you were the one with

the girl on your lap!

- Well how was I supposed to

know what she was?

Or he?

Or it?

That's funny, real funny!

Got any more bright ideas?

Uh, uh, well let's see, uh...

No, forget about it,

- No no no, now now now, - I

don't even wanna hear!

Come here, come here, come here,

wait a minute, wait a minute!

The only thing I was gonna say,

is if the first

oldest rule in the book

doesn't work out,

all you do is turn to the second

oldest rule in the book!

- Yeah, what's that?

- Want a date?

- Meet the second oldest

rule in the book!

Hi darlin', how you doing

tonight honey?

Ah, sweetie pie, - How are you?

How are you?

Oh, yeah, this looks

like a real thing.

Yeah! - Yeah, I think this is

the real thing! - Ah-huh!

All right, here we go.

This way?

- You wait here, we'll tell a

friend we need her apartment.

- Told 'ya I'd get us some action,

huh?

Come on fellas, get in!

- Sailor, you've had enough,

time to go.

Come on! - What's the matter man?

I didn't do nothing wrong.

- Come on!

- Please, please! - Come on,

let's go, let's go.

- Tell me Julio, what's the

question you get asked the most?

- What question do I get

asked the most?

Yeah? - Can you drink the water?

Sure, sure you can

drink the water,

you can also drink the rum!

It'll quicker than

the water!

Hmph, you can also drink, tooba,

which they make here out

of palm trees.

Tooba? - Palm trees?

Tooba, yeah they call

it that because fellas,

one drink of that and you see

stars and stripes forever.

Yeah...

Oh, oh!

My god!

- Hey good looking can I

buy you a drink?

Mark!

- Boy, if you'd get me a

girl like that!

What's is worth to you?

Everything I got!

- Put it on the table.

- All right!

Here you go.

Hey!

I saw her first!

Yeah I'm already paying!

- I'd like you to meet my

friend Cherish.

Eddie Taylor. - It's a pleasure

to meet you.

Well, shall we go?

Well she was looking at me!

- Boy I don't know, look

at me all night!

Hey, hey!

Hey, take your hands

off of him!

- You know it

gives me the creeps

going past the cemetery.

We're not going past.

No?

Are we gonna turn off some place?

We go in. - We go in?

You mean we're gonna do

it in a cemetery?

- This

is where I live.

You live here, oh.

You're the caretaker or something.

Or

your father's

the caretaker.

- My father's dead. -

And you wanted to

be close to him.

- People live where

they have to live.

- Yeah but honey nobody has to

live in a cemetery.

People live in cardboard boxes,

under railroad bridges,

and they live on

benches in the park.

- I knew a guy once who

lived in '54 Plymouth.

Yeah I've done it in a

never in a cemetery.

- You'll never know

it's a cemetery,

once you get inside.

Inside?

A red blooded man like yourself,

couldn't be afraid of the dead?

Hey friend, do me a favor,

don't go anywhere, okay?

Don't worry.

I'll take good care of you.

I don't believe this!

Not in a coffin!

- Coffins are for being

laid to rest.

Not for being laid.

Please, I want

to be with you!

Oh man this is something.

God only knows what the

caretaker would say

if he found out that somebody

was living down there!

No on will find out tonight.

- Hey listen baby, I got

a little money,

not a lot mind you, but uh,

you just gotta get

yourself an apartment.

You'll learn to like it here.

Ah to hell with the caretaker,

you better pray that the

Health Department

doesn't find out about this.

- I'm not very

good.

- I'm getting better at it

all the time, baby.

Master!

Damnation!

These things only happen when

I'm decently dressed!

A man, comes!

- I hope it's a red blooded

American this time.

This is amazing!

- Think how much more

amazing it will be,

when you have your clothes off!

Yeah.

You know you sure

couldn't get a

room like this at the Holiday Inn!

Cherish?

Hello? - I'm coming darling.

- Hey uh, don't go

disappearing like that, okay?

- Take your

clothes off for me.

Hmph, where the hell did she go?

Don't be afraid my darling.

You like the way I look?

Yeah, most beautiful.

Why don't we just do it,

and let me get the hell

out of here, okay?

- I thought you wanted

to stay with me?

- Well, maybe we ought to go

to a nice hotel,

what do you say?

Stay with me!

- Uh, well don't take

this personal now-

Ah, splendid!

A red blooded American.

What the hell is this?

- That my friend is

not a question.

To be or not to be, that

is the question.

To die, to sleep, no more.

And by a sleep to say we

end the heartache,

and the thousand natural shocks

that flesh is heir to,

it is a consummation

devoutly to be wished.

- Hmph, you're out of

your mind pal!

- It is time for you to shuffle

off your mortal coil.

You stop right there!,

or I'll break your

China doll in half!

Back!

- He's probably still shacked up

with that oriental chick.

- Well the least he could have

done is brought her

to the brig to cheer

us up a little.

We were only in there a week.

He's not gonna let go of

that China doll

till his liberty's up!

All he had was a week!

- A better

week than we had,

and you can bet your

boots on that one!

Come lovely and soothing death,

undulate round the world,

serenely arriving, arriving,

in the day,

in the night,

to all, to each.

Walt Whitman must have

been a vampire,

only a vampire would have written

so much about the night,

about death.

Walk out with me, toward

the unknown region.

- All I know is I

haven't had a sun tan

in 136 years!

- Has it been that long since we

came to this place?

- I have no complaints,

we are safe here,

the blood supply is high,

and the competition is pretty low.

That's true.

Go to bed.

- I like sleeping here,

it's nice and warm.

- I'll give anything to

go to the beach

for at least 15 minutes!

Go to bed, both of you!

- A girl can talk sometimes,

can't she?

- You've been talking

for 136 years.

Ha!

I never liked going to bed alone!

Go to bed!

- I knew Walt Whitman and he

wasn't a vampire!

- I'm telling you, Eddie

would not have

gotten himself on that list!

- Well he was due back from

liberty last night.

Maybe something happened to him?

- Well something's

gonna happen to him

as soon as we find him!

He was always bragging,

he was so experienced!

- Experience has

nothing to do with

a girl hitting you over the head,

taking your money and leaving

you in the alley.

- Oh man, that girl couldn't

have hurt anybody

if her life depended on it!

- That cab

driver could have.

- How come we can't find

him around here anymore?

How am I supposed to know?

But I tell you one thing,

I'm not going back

to base until we get to the

bottom of this!

- Then we'll be on that

list right next to Eddie!

- We'll just have

to be a little

more forceful about

getting some answers.

Forceful...

Hey wait, wait, wait wait!

Wait a minute guys!

Can't we talk this over, now wait!

Wait, wait wait! - Now come on,

come on, we're not

looking for problems!

Come on, no!

- Oh, come on man we've

been everywhere,

we've been to the bar, nearly

got killed there,

been to the cab company,

walked every damn street...

- Just a couple of more places,

all right?

Oh man...

Hey hey hey hey hey!

That's her!

Hey! - Hold on!

- Hey hey hey hey hey hey! -

Hey hey, hell...

Come on! - Taxi!

Looking for a little action?

- Follow that cab! - Oh

I'm not getting

mixed up in anything!

No, he, he's a friend of ours!

He left his wallet at the base,

we're just bringing it to him!

- He's not gonna have enough

money to pay his driver!

Come on!

Not so fast!

- Well how do you expect

me to catch him?

We don't want you to catch him.

- Yeah well we want it to

be a surprise!

Well listen I don't want to get

mixed up in anything!

- There's nothing to

get mixed up in!

A graveyard?

- I'm not going into

the graveyard.

We gotta follow them.

- I don't go

into graveyards

even in the daytime!

Had a very bad experience

in a graveyard

when I was a kid!

So that's Texas courage?

- No it isn't, that's

psychological problem.

- A hell of a buddy you

turned out to be.

- Hey listen, you don't

understand what this was man,

I was only about seven or

eight years old see,

and I was coming back

from the store,

and this big ole dog

starts chasing me,

you know what I mean?

And there's only one

place I could hide

is in this graveyard! - Hey, at

least wish me luck!

- Good luck. - Hey, the

meter's running!

- Oh man, this was the

biggest damn old dog

you ever seen in your life,

it had teeth the size of

fence posts, you know?

He's gaining on...

- I'm so sick and tired of

these Bloody Maries!

You know I could go for some

good Scotch and water.

Blood is thicker than water.

Pavo!

Drink!

Drink!

He'll never become a vampire.

Give him time. - Hmph!

What's the matter Pavo?

It's all right, you'll be a

vampire some day.

When? - Soon Pavo, soon.

Pavo want fangs!

Aw, I know.

Some day Pavo, some day.

There's someone here!

Sure as soon as we are

having a good time!

- We'll have a better

time after we catch him.

I'm leaving!

I didn't mean it!

I didn't mean it!

Terry!

Just like that!

Terry! - Tom?

Terry!

I can't go in there!

Hey hey, we can get out of here!

I gotta help him!

- Well look, he's the one

who wanted to go in!

He's my buddy!

Wait for me! - Yeah sure!

- Hey hey hey hey what

are you doing?

Terry! - Tom!

Terry!

Leave me alone, leave me alone!

I didn't see anything!

Yow! - It's me, I'm here!

Good, now he can kill us both!

He mustn't get away.

- How

can he get away?

Pavo never lets anybody get away.

Did you get a good look at him?

He could'a killed 10 of us!

They're vampires!

They killed Eddie and they

drank his blood!

- A little

rich for my taste.

Who, who's there?

Only the dead.

I'm Marcy.

Suzy.

I am Cherish.

- I am Richmond Reed, a name

which you all know

by sight very well, but

which no one can speak

and no one can spell.

What? - Doesn't anyone

understand poetry anymore?

- I'm just an Aviation Fire

Control Technician.

- That was written by

Robert Southey.

He died in 1843.

I died in 1847.

I outlived the pompous bastard.

You, uh, died in-

18-hundred, 47.

He was born in 1775.

Wha, that would make you a...

Vampire. - We are all vampires.

We're all dead.

And we all like you very much.

Die now!

Stop being afraid!

We won't tell anyone!

Just, let us go, huh?

- You joined the navy to

see the world.

- Yeah, this world, not

the next one.

Where's your sense of adventure?

This is a moment to treasure!

Death comes once in a lifetime!

This is not death, it's murder!

It's not murder, it's dinner!

The sun!

Back inside!

- Maybe if I stayed

out just this long

every morning I could get at

least a little tan.

- But I want some

of those sailors!

Your adventure must wait!

I shall remember while the

light lives yet!

And in the night time, I

shall not forget!

- We gotta tell

somebody about this!

We gotta get out of here!

We gotta tell the authorities!

- What authorities? - I

don't know but

that's what you always

hear people saying,

that we gotta report this to

the authorities!

- Well they're gonna

throw us right back

in the brig for going off-limits!

Terry, they're killing guys!

They killed Eddie! -

As long as they

didn't kill us!

And one chance is all I

plan to give 'em!

Listen, we report this to

the authorities,

first thing they're gonna do is

drag us back out here!

So now if you wanna report it,

you go right ahead!

Leave me out!

- Terry, they ain't gonna

believe just one witness!

- You think they're gonna

believe vampires?

Vampire?

You saw, a vampire?

You're the first ones in 14 years

who got drunk enough to

see a vampire!

Chief we weren't drunk!

Yeah!

The vampire was drunk.

Yes Chief he was, they all were.

- All of them? - All

four of them sir,

the man and the three girls.

And the big ugly guy probably.

- You guys been drinking that

tooba haven't you?

- Chief, vampires are luring men

out to that cemetery!

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

and next you'll see

Rodan rising out of the

South China Sea!

- Chief, that cemetery is

full of dead bodies!

Naturally.

Get out of here!

- Would you believe the Wright

Brothers?

- Oh, the Wright Brothers

were there too huh?

Just flying over the tombstones?

Vampires my ass!

Bloodsucking ghost or body of a

dead person believed to have

come from the grave

by night and suck the

blood of the living.

Any member of a South

American family-

- Any member of a South

American family?

- Small bats, they're highly

destructive to cattle.

Oh, I'm going back to sleep!

- No wait, wait a minute Wayne,

listen to this!

The legends do not reveal how

the corpse gets out

of the grave and into the locked

houses to attack people.

A supernatural being

returned from the dead

and at the same time a

material being.

All the vampire's powers and

actions exist for

only one purpose, to satisfy his

lust for human blood.

- What the hell is this,

Boy Scout Camp?

If you want to tell ghost

stories go find a tent!

Your life could depend on this!

- So could yours if you don't

let us get some sleep!

- Hey I saw them, I saw a guy

hanging by a rack

with his throat cut and they were

drinking his blood!

- If you don't shut up

them vampires

will go after your blood,

with a mop!

Hey wait a minute!

Come on!

I trust you slept well?

- I gotta be going! - No,

you stay.

We have guests so seldom, we'd

love to have you for dinner.

Maybe some other time.

Please just stay with us.

- Unbidden guests are welcomest,

when they're gone,

and Shakespeare was a man who knew

about unwelcome guests.

Can I have my clothes back?

No.

- They might get damaged, you

wouldn't want that

to happen would you?

They might fit some needy person

after you're gone.

Gone? - But not forgotten!

- At least let us have

something to remember!

You're so human!

- A girl can have a good

time once in a while!

We won't let him get away!

- A bird in the hand is worth

its weight in gold!

- We won't let him out

of our hands!

- I don't mind being a vampire but

this is like being a nun!

Pavo watch!

- One night with them, will

kill you anyway!

Oh!

I gotta get out of here!

First thing in the morning.

He couldn't have gone AWOL!

He's too scared to go AWOL!

- Well he wasn't too scared to

leave without a pass!

- Look, just give me till roll

call to find him!

- Okay you got

till tomorrow.

There you go!

Take me to the market!

Ah!

There must be something else,

beside vodka,

that will mix with blood!

You'd think that after all

these centuries,

the march of

civilization would have

marched across one other product

that mixes with blood!

Pavo!

Do you want to get rich?

Find something that will

keep its own flavor,

without effecting the

flavor of the blood!

Though I look old, yet I'm

strong and lusty!

For in my youth, I

never did apply,

hot and rebellious

liquors in my blood!

Shakespeare was a vampire.

Who?

Shakespeare.

- It's almost perfect. - Close

enough for me honey.

Just a little bit closer.

- You know the perfect

thing would be,

if we could eat some

breakfast in bed

and watch the sun come up.

- Perfect could be if the

sun never came up,

and I could stay here forever.

- You're gonna stay right here,

just like this.

- Well you know I'm

gonna have to get

back to base sooner or later.

Later honey. - Much later.

Whose turn is it?

- One of you must know

where my clothes are.

You're not going anywhere.

- I'd just like to know

where they are.

- We like you just

the way you are.

- Whose turn is it? - Whoever

gets there first.

- Well it must be

getting very late!

- We'd better

hurry then honey.

Don't go anywhere!

- That's the 200th

time they told me

not to go anywhere!

I'm not going anywhere!

- I've always been a little

scared of graveyards.

- That's the 300th time

you told me that.

- I couldn't have been five or

six years old, see!

Then what the hell are you doing

coming here in the

middle of the night?

I'm looking for somebody!

- If they're here my friend,

they'll be here in the morning!

Yeah...

This damn door hasn't been

opened in 50 years.

Oh,

oh, oh!

Oh!

Mmm, whose turn is it?

Ha!

Ha!

Ha!

Pavo!

I have trodden the

wine press alone.

And of the people there

was none with me.

I will tread them in mine anger,

and trample them in my fury!

Their blood shall be sprinkled

upon my garments,

and I will stain all my raiment!

Ah...

Tell the girls if they

plan to spend

the night in there, spread a

little dirt on the bed.

Get the blood out of that rat

before it evaporates!

Pavo, practice makes perfect!

- It's times like this, that make

you appreciate being dead.

I know. - We won't let

anything happen to you!

Whose turn is it?

- Hey you got any tools,

anything, uh, tire iron,

big screwdriver,

something like that?

Yeah yeah.

There you go!

Whose turn is it? - Not mine.

Not mine. - Not mine.

Not mine!

Master!

Master!

Man come back!

What man?

Can't you be a little specific,

you cretin?

Man come back, open door!

- What the devil are you

babbling about?

Pavo take away!

Pavo take away!

- You are the single, most

incoherent specimen

of humanity it's ever

been my misfortune

to encounter.

Why in my day we had

servants who...

- What's that smell? - It

smells like pizza!

Did someone send out for pizza?

It's garlic!

Oh!

Garlic! - Ooh!

- Don't you read Shakespeare,

you imbecile?

Eat no onions, or garlic,

for we are

to utter sweet breath!

Shakespeare was a vampire!

What else have you got there?

Cover it up, cover them up!

Cover them up you dolt!

Ah, take those away!

Take the crosses away, take

the garlic away,

and take yourself away!

I shall take care of our visitor.

Come on, let's get out of here!

Come on let's go!

You're not going anywhere

are you buddy?

Ah!

- Now what in the hell

am I gonna do?

There's gotta be somebody

who can help me!

No!

We've already been out there once!

And we're not going

out there again!

But they killed a taxi driver!

There's a whole bunch of

vampires out there!

- Why can't you sailors just

have a good time,

instead of getting

drunk and bothering

us with your crazy ideas?

You gotta do something!

- All right I'll send out

a man tomorrow!

Tomorrow?

That's gonna be too late!

My buddy's out there! -

Sorry that's the

best I can do!

Well what about this guy Julio,

maybe he knows something,

why don't

you pick him up for questioning?

We have no reason to do that!

Well if you won't do it,

could you tell me where I

could find him?

Well, you can find him

most any night down on

Harrison Street.

He works the graveyard shift.

Graveyard shift?

I might of known...

Hey, say, you know a cab

drive named Julio?

You know where- - Julio?

Yeah. - He's inside.

In here?

I've been

looking for you!

- I've never seen you

before in my life.

Hey don't give me that!

You know me.

And my two buddies too, Eddie

Taylor and Tom Buckley.

Oh, oh yeah, now I remember.

How'd you find me?

Cops told me where you hung out.

Cops?

What are you going to

the cops for?

- 'Cause there's an awful

lot of crazy stuff

going on out at that cemetery!

One of my buddies is dead and

another one could be.

People out there at that

graveyard are vampires!

I think you've been

drinking a little too much.

- That girl Cherish,

she's a vampire!

Oh yeah?

The last time I saw her it wasn't

blood she was sucking.

- They're all vampires, and

somebody's got to

go out there and help me stop 'em!

- Okay, okay sailor, if it'll

make you feel better,

I'm going to the

graveyard with you!

You don't have to go

running to the cops!

Julio can help you out!

There aren't really

any vampires in

that cemetery, you'll see.

- I don't know, they seemed

awful real to me.

That was just your imagination,

graveyards can be real scary.

- Well you don't have to

tell me that, ha!

I spent a night in a

graveyard once,

it was the worse night of my life!

Oh yeah? - Yeah!

See I was coming home

from the store,

and a big damn dog

starts chasing me.

Whose turn is it?

When are we gonna kill him?

We need some fresh blood.

- We can't kill him

when he's asleep.

Sure we can. - It takes all the

enjoyment out of it when

they're asleep.

They never scream.

I miss that human cry of terror,

when they see

grim death looming above

their gizzard!

Look!

And flashed the living

lightning from his eyes!

And cries of horror, rend

the affrighted sky!

- Let's kill him now and

get it over with,

I don't think I can

stand the noise.

As soon as he wakes up!

Whose turn is it?

The worm!

- Why don't you, go

and wait for us,

we'll be right there.

- Well I completely lost track

of whose turn it was.

Now?

And try not to waste any.

Master!

The sailor, back again, in taxi!

- So that's why I'm

scared of graveyards!

Yeah that stiff

grabbed a hold of me

like a grizzly bear!

Took me nearly an hour to get

out of that graveyard.

I think it warped me for life.

You ever been scared

like that Julio?

Julio?

Kill!

Kill!

Kill!

Kill!

Kill!

- Oh I see you've reconsidered

our dinner invitation!

Back, back!

Get on back!

Back!

Back!

Back!

All right, where is he,

what have you done with him?

Come on!

Oh to have lived so long,

and died, and to have survived,

only to be destroyed, by a sailor!

Tom!

Tom!

Help!

Help!

Wayne!

I never thought I'd see you again!

- I never thought I'd

see anything again!

Wait!

I don't have any clothes!

Clothes?

Here, put that on!

Who cares about clothes at

a time like this,

let's just get out of here!

All right!

Julio!

Julio!

Boy am I glad to see you!

You're a life saver!

Let's get out of here!

Wait, wait, wait, wait!

Wait!

# Don't get hooked by a hooker

# When you sail in southern seas

# Even though she's a looker

# She can bring you to your knees

# She'll take you to the graveyard

# And try to ease your fears

# But her friends out

in the graveyard

# Have been dead for 100 years

# They're Vampire Hookers

# Yeah they're Vampire Hookers

# Whoa they're Vampire Hookers

# And blood is not all they suck

# These girls aren't illusions

# They slit throats

from ear to ear

# They want you for transfusions

# They'll never shed a tear

# They mix real Bloody Maries, and

have a grand old time

# But you'll find out,

if you visit

# That your life's

not worth a dime

# To those Vampire Hookers

# Yeah they're Vampire Hookers

# Whoa they're Vampire Hookers

# And blood is not all they suck

# So if you meet a hooker

# And she seems so sweet and kind

# Be careful if you date her

# Your life may be on the line

# They're beautiful and sultry

# But they're not what you expect

# You'll be begging them for mercy

# As they bite you in the neck

# Because they're Vampire Hookers

# Yeah they're Vampire Hookers

# Whoa they're Vampire Hookers

# And blood is not all they suck

# Blood is not all they suck

# Blood is not all

# They suck