Vampire Hookers (1978) - full transcript

Carradine is an aged vampire who has a bevy of vampiric beauties who lure many of their customers back to his lair. A pair of virile young Navy sailors get mixed up in their shenanigans.

She meanwhile with

strawberry lips cajoles,

and like an asp writhing
on burning coals,

moist on my lips, and
liken rode to sleep

thine ancient conscience in
my couch as deep.

I am so learned,,
that when men

I crushed to my dreaded heart,

or to their mumbling
kisses bare my bust,

so frail, so bold, so shy,

and so robust that impotent angels
damned themselves for me.

- All my life I've
heard about sailors

having a girl in every port,

and this is the first
port I've seen.

- You know I don't think
you'd know what to do

if you'd got your hands on a girl.

- I'd know enough to get more
than my hands on her.

By the time you figured it out,

she'd be more worked over than

a $2 hooker at a
Shriner's convention!

Ooh, I can handle it.

I know, you been handling it

all the way from San Francisco.

And you'll be dreaming about it

all the way back to San Francisco!

- Why don't we just stow these
bags in the barracks,

and hit the town? - I'm with you!


Man are we lucky to be
stationed here!

Yes we are!

Would you look at this place,
it's fantastic!

- You know this is the
Paris of the Orient!

I bet you could find anything you
wanted on this street,

just like Eddie said!

If Eddie said it,

you can bet your bottom dollar
on it being here!

- Oh yeah, Chief wouldn't
steer us wrong man!

Nope! - Nope, you know,

that old salt's
looking out for us.

- That he is! - Eh,
somebody has to!


Hey Chief!

Hey Eddie!

- How did you get
down here so fast?

- I just happen to know
the right people.

Julio here is the best damn cab
driver in this city.

Julio, this is Tom Buckley
and Terry Wayne.

Hi fellas! - Listen,

you guys need anything around
town while you're here,

anything at all, just, oh
just ask me and

Julio can find it for you.

If Julio can't find it, it
can't be found.

Now listen, I know
everybody around here,

and they know me around here,

so you need anything, just ask.

- But don't ask now, we
have to shove off.

- Where you off to? -
Oh we got some

important business to
take care of.

Oh yeah, what's her name?

And does she have a sister, huh?

Later fellas, later.

Let's go Julio.

- See
you later Eddie!

- Take it easy! - Can
you believe that?

He's already got something set up!

- Well there's nothing
to worry about!

We're gonna have
something set up too,

faster than a cat can
lick its ass!

And I know how to find women!

Is that right? - That's right!

- Then why are we
standing over here

when all the girls are over there?


This gonna be easier than
falling in a creek!

And a whole hell of a
lot more fun!


Hey Joe!

Come on, we're having a party!

Hold on, hold on a minute,

Wait, go get... - Huh?

Oh but we're gonna find girls,
but just,

you know, gotta be neighborly,
let's have a beer,

isn't that right! - Come on!

We're having a birthday party!

Oh my goodness!

Who's birthday, huh? -
His birthday!

- Oh, happy birthday! - Happy
birthday, whoa ho!


Now you taste our food, no?

Huh? - Better yet, this one!

What? - You take a this, balut.

A what? - A balut!

- A balut? - Yeah, it's
good for you!

Oh yeah?

- Oh yeah? - Makes you
strong in bed!

- Well we'll try some
of this then!

What do you, just crack
it on the table?

Hey no no no no! - Yeah?

You don't do it that way!

What? - We do it this way.

Oh how you do it.

- Look for the big end, see?
- Uh-huh.

And just, crack it a little.

Uh-huh. - Then peel it,

Yeah. - and you can see inside,

there's some water on it.

Uh-huh. - Uh-huh.

Uh-huh. - And then you put some

little salt. - Little salt.

- Uh-huh. - And then, you
sip the water.

Sip the water? - Yeah.

Tastes good huh? - Not bad!

Why don't you try it?

No, no...

- Then what do you do,
then what do you do?

Peel it, you know,.

- Peel it,. - The
rest of the way.

The rest of the way. - Uh-huh.

Peel it on off here, uh-hmm.

Little bit... - Yeah yeah yeah...

Put some, add some salt again,
more salt!

Lil' more salt, huh? - Yeah.

You know, just for
seasoning and all that,

Uh-hmm. - that okay, and eat it.

Eat it. - All the way.

Eat it?

Uh-huh. - One piece huh.

- No the whole thing!
- Whole thing?

- Yeah swallow it whole - Just,
just put the

whole thing in... -
Yeah yeah yeah,

put it, yeah...

Yeah right on!

What is it?


What is, what is balut?

An unborn to duck.

A what? - An unborn duck!

Huh, taste good? - You mean like,

quack quack, duck?

Yeah right!

Quack, quack duck!

Taste good!

Hey come here!

You wanna try it? - No!

Oh come on, you try it! - No!

Oh come on, okay!

Hey Joe!

- It's the oldest
rule in the book!

You want to find girls,

go to where the music is!

The louder the music,
the more girls.

This place loud enough to
blow your eardrums!

- It's not my eardrums
I want blown.

- That waiter comes
around, order me another beer.

And I'm gonna go make room for it.

Uh, excuse me but uh,

I think you're in the wrong, uh,

I mean, not that you
haven't got anything

I haven't seen before! - You
want to see it now?



Well uh, my buddy's waiting.

So am I.

What do you do for a living?

Do you work? - I play.

I work like a dog.

I'll do it however you want.

That's what I like to hear.

Actually I'd love to.

Not now Wayne.

Wayne, come on!

Wayne will you please-

Help, help! - You've got balls?

You want to find girls you go to
where the music is.

- Well then you were the one with
the girl on your lap!

- Well how was I supposed to
know what she was?

Or he?

Or it?

That's funny, real funny!

Got any more bright ideas?

Uh, uh, well let's see, uh...

No, forget about it,

- No no no, now now now, - I
don't even wanna hear!

Come here, come here, come here,

wait a minute, wait a minute!

The only thing I was gonna say,
is if the first

oldest rule in the book
doesn't work out,

all you do is turn to the second

oldest rule in the book!

- Yeah, what's that?
- Want a date?

- Meet the second oldest
rule in the book!

Hi darlin', how you doing
tonight honey?

Ah, sweetie pie, - How are you?

How are you?

Oh, yeah, this looks
like a real thing.

Yeah! - Yeah, I think this is

the real thing! - Ah-huh!

All right, here we go.

This way?

- You wait here, we'll tell a
friend we need her apartment.

- Told 'ya I'd get us some action,

Come on fellas, get in!

- Sailor, you've had enough,
time to go.

Come on! - What's the matter man?

I didn't do nothing wrong.
- Come on!

- Please, please! - Come on,
let's go, let's go.

- Tell me Julio, what's the
question you get asked the most?

- What question do I get
asked the most?

Yeah? - Can you drink the water?

Sure, sure you can
drink the water,

you can also drink the rum!

It'll quicker than
the water!

Hmph, you can also drink, tooba,

which they make here out
of palm trees.

Tooba? - Palm trees?

Tooba, yeah they call

it that because fellas,

one drink of that and you see
stars and stripes forever.


Oh, oh!

My god!

- Hey good looking can I
buy you a drink?


- Boy, if you'd get me a
girl like that!

What's is worth to you?

Everything I got!

- Put it on the table.
- All right!

Here you go.


I saw her first!

Yeah I'm already paying!

- I'd like you to meet my
friend Cherish.

Eddie Taylor. - It's a pleasure

to meet you.

Well, shall we go?

Well she was looking at me!

- Boy I don't know, look
at me all night!

Hey, hey!

Hey, take your hands

off of him!

- You know it
gives me the creeps

going past the cemetery.

We're not going past.


Are we gonna turn off some place?

We go in. - We go in?

You mean we're gonna do
it in a cemetery?

- This
is where I live.

You live here, oh.

You're the caretaker or something.

your father's

the caretaker.

- My father's dead. -
And you wanted to

be close to him.

- People live where
they have to live.

- Yeah but honey nobody has to
live in a cemetery.

People live in cardboard boxes,

under railroad bridges,

and they live on
benches in the park.

- I knew a guy once who
lived in '54 Plymouth.

Yeah I've done it in a

never in a cemetery.

- You'll never know
it's a cemetery,

once you get inside.


A red blooded man like yourself,

couldn't be afraid of the dead?

Hey friend, do me a favor,

don't go anywhere, okay?

Don't worry.

I'll take good care of you.

I don't believe this!

Not in a coffin!

- Coffins are for being
laid to rest.

Not for being laid.

Please, I want
to be with you!

Oh man this is something.

God only knows what the
caretaker would say

if he found out that somebody
was living down there!

No on will find out tonight.

- Hey listen baby, I got
a little money,

not a lot mind you, but uh,

you just gotta get
yourself an apartment.

You'll learn to like it here.

Ah to hell with the caretaker,

you better pray that the
Health Department

doesn't find out about this.

- I'm not very

- I'm getting better at it
all the time, baby.



These things only happen when
I'm decently dressed!

A man, comes!

- I hope it's a red blooded
American this time.

This is amazing!

- Think how much more
amazing it will be,

when you have your clothes off!


You know you sure
couldn't get a

room like this at the Holiday Inn!


Hello? - I'm coming darling.

- Hey uh, don't go
disappearing like that, okay?

- Take your
clothes off for me.

Hmph, where the hell did she go?

Don't be afraid my darling.

You like the way I look?

Yeah, most beautiful.

Why don't we just do it,

and let me get the hell
out of here, okay?

- I thought you wanted
to stay with me?

- Well, maybe we ought to go
to a nice hotel,

what do you say?

Stay with me!

- Uh, well don't take
this personal now-

Ah, splendid!

A red blooded American.

What the hell is this?

- That my friend is
not a question.

To be or not to be, that
is the question.

To die, to sleep, no more.

And by a sleep to say we
end the heartache,

and the thousand natural shocks
that flesh is heir to,

it is a consummation
devoutly to be wished.

- Hmph, you're out of
your mind pal!

- It is time for you to shuffle
off your mortal coil.

You stop right there!,

or I'll break your
China doll in half!


- He's probably still shacked up
with that oriental chick.

- Well the least he could have
done is brought her

to the brig to cheer
us up a little.

We were only in there a week.

He's not gonna let go of
that China doll

till his liberty's up!

All he had was a week!

- A better
week than we had,

and you can bet your
boots on that one!

Come lovely and soothing death,

undulate round the world,

serenely arriving, arriving,
in the day,

in the night,

to all, to each.

Walt Whitman must have
been a vampire,

only a vampire would have written
so much about the night,

about death.

Walk out with me, toward
the unknown region.

- All I know is I
haven't had a sun tan

in 136 years!

- Has it been that long since we
came to this place?

- I have no complaints,
we are safe here,

the blood supply is high,

and the competition is pretty low.

That's true.

Go to bed.

- I like sleeping here,
it's nice and warm.

- I'll give anything to
go to the beach

for at least 15 minutes!

Go to bed, both of you!

- A girl can talk sometimes,
can't she?

- You've been talking
for 136 years.


I never liked going to bed alone!

Go to bed!

- I knew Walt Whitman and he
wasn't a vampire!

- I'm telling you, Eddie
would not have

gotten himself on that list!

- Well he was due back from
liberty last night.

Maybe something happened to him?

- Well something's
gonna happen to him

as soon as we find him!

He was always bragging,

he was so experienced!

- Experience has
nothing to do with

a girl hitting you over the head,

taking your money and leaving
you in the alley.

- Oh man, that girl couldn't
have hurt anybody

if her life depended on it!

- That cab
driver could have.

- How come we can't find
him around here anymore?

How am I supposed to know?

But I tell you one thing,
I'm not going back

to base until we get to the
bottom of this!

- Then we'll be on that
list right next to Eddie!

- We'll just have
to be a little

more forceful about
getting some answers.


Hey wait, wait, wait wait!

Wait a minute guys!

Can't we talk this over, now wait!

Wait, wait wait! - Now come on,

come on, we're not
looking for problems!

Come on, no!

- Oh, come on man we've
been everywhere,

we've been to the bar, nearly
got killed there,

been to the cab company,

walked every damn street...

- Just a couple of more places,
all right?

Oh man...

Hey hey hey hey hey!

That's her!

Hey! - Hold on!

- Hey hey hey hey hey hey! -
Hey hey, hell...

Come on! - Taxi!

Looking for a little action?

- Follow that cab! - Oh
I'm not getting

mixed up in anything!

No, he, he's a friend of ours!

He left his wallet at the base,

we're just bringing it to him!

- He's not gonna have enough
money to pay his driver!

Come on!

Not so fast!

- Well how do you expect
me to catch him?

We don't want you to catch him.

- Yeah well we want it to
be a surprise!

Well listen I don't want to get

mixed up in anything!

- There's nothing to
get mixed up in!

A graveyard?

- I'm not going into
the graveyard.

We gotta follow them.

- I don't go
into graveyards

even in the daytime!

Had a very bad experience
in a graveyard

when I was a kid!

So that's Texas courage?

- No it isn't, that's
psychological problem.

- A hell of a buddy you
turned out to be.

- Hey listen, you don't
understand what this was man,

I was only about seven or
eight years old see,

and I was coming back
from the store,

and this big ole dog
starts chasing me,

you know what I mean?

And there's only one
place I could hide

is in this graveyard! - Hey, at
least wish me luck!

- Good luck. - Hey, the
meter's running!

- Oh man, this was the
biggest damn old dog

you ever seen in your life,

it had teeth the size of
fence posts, you know?

He's gaining on...

- I'm so sick and tired of
these Bloody Maries!

You know I could go for some
good Scotch and water.

Blood is thicker than water.




He'll never become a vampire.

Give him time. - Hmph!

What's the matter Pavo?

It's all right, you'll be a
vampire some day.

When? - Soon Pavo, soon.

Pavo want fangs!

Aw, I know.

Some day Pavo, some day.

There's someone here!

Sure as soon as we are
having a good time!

- We'll have a better
time after we catch him.

I'm leaving!

I didn't mean it!

I didn't mean it!


Just like that!

Terry! - Tom?


I can't go in there!

Hey hey, we can get out of here!

I gotta help him!

- Well look, he's the one
who wanted to go in!

He's my buddy!

Wait for me! - Yeah sure!

- Hey hey hey hey what
are you doing?

Terry! - Tom!


Leave me alone, leave me alone!

I didn't see anything!

Yow! - It's me, I'm here!

Good, now he can kill us both!

He mustn't get away.

- How
can he get away?

Pavo never lets anybody get away.

Did you get a good look at him?

He could'a killed 10 of us!

They're vampires!

They killed Eddie and they
drank his blood!

- A little
rich for my taste.

Who, who's there?

Only the dead.

I'm Marcy.


I am Cherish.

- I am Richmond Reed, a name
which you all know

by sight very well, but
which no one can speak

and no one can spell.

What? - Doesn't anyone

understand poetry anymore?

- I'm just an Aviation Fire
Control Technician.

- That was written by
Robert Southey.

He died in 1843.

I died in 1847.

I outlived the pompous bastard.

You, uh, died in-

18-hundred, 47.

He was born in 1775.

Wha, that would make you a...

Vampire. - We are all vampires.

We're all dead.

And we all like you very much.

Die now!

Stop being afraid!

We won't tell anyone!

Just, let us go, huh?

- You joined the navy to
see the world.

- Yeah, this world, not
the next one.

Where's your sense of adventure?

This is a moment to treasure!

Death comes once in a lifetime!

This is not death, it's murder!

It's not murder, it's dinner!

The sun!

Back inside!

- Maybe if I stayed
out just this long

every morning I could get at
least a little tan.

- But I want some
of those sailors!

Your adventure must wait!

I shall remember while the
light lives yet!

And in the night time, I
shall not forget!

- We gotta tell
somebody about this!

We gotta get out of here!

We gotta tell the authorities!

- What authorities? - I
don't know but

that's what you always
hear people saying,

that we gotta report this to
the authorities!

- Well they're gonna
throw us right back

in the brig for going off-limits!

Terry, they're killing guys!

They killed Eddie! -
As long as they

didn't kill us!

And one chance is all I
plan to give 'em!

Listen, we report this to
the authorities,

first thing they're gonna do is
drag us back out here!

So now if you wanna report it,
you go right ahead!

Leave me out!

- Terry, they ain't gonna
believe just one witness!

- You think they're gonna
believe vampires?


You saw, a vampire?

You're the first ones in 14 years

who got drunk enough to
see a vampire!

Chief we weren't drunk!


The vampire was drunk.

Yes Chief he was, they all were.

- All of them? - All
four of them sir,

the man and the three girls.

And the big ugly guy probably.

- You guys been drinking that
tooba haven't you?

- Chief, vampires are luring men
out to that cemetery!

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
and next you'll see

Rodan rising out of the
South China Sea!

- Chief, that cemetery is
full of dead bodies!


Get out of here!

- Would you believe the Wright

- Oh, the Wright Brothers
were there too huh?

Just flying over the tombstones?

Vampires my ass!

Bloodsucking ghost or body of a

dead person believed to have
come from the grave

by night and suck the
blood of the living.

Any member of a South
American family-

- Any member of a South
American family?

- Small bats, they're highly
destructive to cattle.

Oh, I'm going back to sleep!

- No wait, wait a minute Wayne,
listen to this!

The legends do not reveal how
the corpse gets out

of the grave and into the locked
houses to attack people.

A supernatural being
returned from the dead

and at the same time a
material being.

All the vampire's powers and
actions exist for

only one purpose, to satisfy his
lust for human blood.

- What the hell is this,
Boy Scout Camp?

If you want to tell ghost
stories go find a tent!

Your life could depend on this!

- So could yours if you don't
let us get some sleep!

- Hey I saw them, I saw a guy
hanging by a rack

with his throat cut and they were
drinking his blood!

- If you don't shut up
them vampires

will go after your blood,
with a mop!

Hey wait a minute!

Come on!

I trust you slept well?

- I gotta be going! - No,
you stay.

We have guests so seldom, we'd
love to have you for dinner.

Maybe some other time.

Please just stay with us.

- Unbidden guests are welcomest,
when they're gone,

and Shakespeare was a man who knew
about unwelcome guests.

Can I have my clothes back?


- They might get damaged, you
wouldn't want that

to happen would you?

They might fit some needy person
after you're gone.

Gone? - But not forgotten!

- At least let us have
something to remember!

You're so human!

- A girl can have a good
time once in a while!

We won't let him get away!

- A bird in the hand is worth
its weight in gold!

- We won't let him out
of our hands!

- I don't mind being a vampire but
this is like being a nun!

Pavo watch!

- One night with them, will
kill you anyway!


I gotta get out of here!

First thing in the morning.

He couldn't have gone AWOL!

He's too scared to go AWOL!

- Well he wasn't too scared to
leave without a pass!

- Look, just give me till roll
call to find him!

- Okay you got
till tomorrow.

There you go!

Take me to the market!


There must be something else,
beside vodka,

that will mix with blood!

You'd think that after all
these centuries,

the march of
civilization would have

marched across one other product

that mixes with blood!


Do you want to get rich?

Find something that will
keep its own flavor,

without effecting the
flavor of the blood!

Though I look old, yet I'm
strong and lusty!

For in my youth, I
never did apply,

hot and rebellious
liquors in my blood!

Shakespeare was a vampire.



- It's almost perfect. - Close
enough for me honey.

Just a little bit closer.

- You know the perfect
thing would be,

if we could eat some
breakfast in bed

and watch the sun come up.

- Perfect could be if the
sun never came up,

and I could stay here forever.

- You're gonna stay right here,
just like this.

- Well you know I'm
gonna have to get

back to base sooner or later.

Later honey. - Much later.

Whose turn is it?

- One of you must know
where my clothes are.

You're not going anywhere.

- I'd just like to know
where they are.

- We like you just
the way you are.

- Whose turn is it? - Whoever
gets there first.

- Well it must be
getting very late!

- We'd better
hurry then honey.

Don't go anywhere!

- That's the 200th
time they told me

not to go anywhere!

I'm not going anywhere!

- I've always been a little
scared of graveyards.

- That's the 300th time
you told me that.

- I couldn't have been five or
six years old, see!

Then what the hell are you doing

coming here in the
middle of the night?

I'm looking for somebody!

- If they're here my friend,
they'll be here in the morning!


This damn door hasn't been
opened in 50 years.


oh, oh!


Mmm, whose turn is it?





I have trodden the
wine press alone.

And of the people there
was none with me.

I will tread them in mine anger,

and trample them in my fury!

Their blood shall be sprinkled
upon my garments,

and I will stain all my raiment!


Tell the girls if they
plan to spend

the night in there, spread a
little dirt on the bed.

Get the blood out of that rat
before it evaporates!

Pavo, practice makes perfect!

- It's times like this, that make
you appreciate being dead.

I know. - We won't let

anything happen to you!

Whose turn is it?

- Hey you got any tools,
anything, uh, tire iron,

big screwdriver,
something like that?

Yeah yeah.

There you go!

Whose turn is it? - Not mine.

Not mine. - Not mine.

Not mine!



Man come back!

What man?

Can't you be a little specific,
you cretin?

Man come back, open door!

- What the devil are you
babbling about?

Pavo take away!

Pavo take away!

- You are the single, most
incoherent specimen

of humanity it's ever
been my misfortune

to encounter.

Why in my day we had
servants who...

- What's that smell? - It
smells like pizza!

Did someone send out for pizza?

It's garlic!


Garlic! - Ooh!

- Don't you read Shakespeare,
you imbecile?

Eat no onions, or garlic,
for we are

to utter sweet breath!

Shakespeare was a vampire!

What else have you got there?

Cover it up, cover them up!

Cover them up you dolt!

Ah, take those away!

Take the crosses away, take
the garlic away,

and take yourself away!

I shall take care of our visitor.

Come on, let's get out of here!

Come on let's go!

You're not going anywhere
are you buddy?


- Now what in the hell
am I gonna do?

There's gotta be somebody
who can help me!


We've already been out there once!

And we're not going
out there again!

But they killed a taxi driver!

There's a whole bunch of
vampires out there!

- Why can't you sailors just
have a good time,

instead of getting
drunk and bothering

us with your crazy ideas?

You gotta do something!

- All right I'll send out
a man tomorrow!


That's gonna be too late!

My buddy's out there! -
Sorry that's the

best I can do!

Well what about this guy Julio,

maybe he knows something,
why don't

you pick him up for questioning?

We have no reason to do that!

Well if you won't do it,

could you tell me where I
could find him?

Well, you can find him

most any night down on
Harrison Street.

He works the graveyard shift.

Graveyard shift?

I might of known...

Hey, say, you know a cab
drive named Julio?

You know where- - Julio?

Yeah. - He's inside.

In here?

I've been
looking for you!

- I've never seen you
before in my life.

Hey don't give me that!

You know me.

And my two buddies too, Eddie
Taylor and Tom Buckley.

Oh, oh yeah, now I remember.

How'd you find me?

Cops told me where you hung out.


What are you going to
the cops for?

- 'Cause there's an awful
lot of crazy stuff

going on out at that cemetery!

One of my buddies is dead and
another one could be.

People out there at that
graveyard are vampires!

I think you've been

drinking a little too much.

- That girl Cherish,
she's a vampire!

Oh yeah?

The last time I saw her it wasn't
blood she was sucking.

- They're all vampires, and
somebody's got to

go out there and help me stop 'em!

- Okay, okay sailor, if it'll
make you feel better,

I'm going to the
graveyard with you!

You don't have to go
running to the cops!

Julio can help you out!

There aren't really
any vampires in

that cemetery, you'll see.

- I don't know, they seemed
awful real to me.

That was just your imagination,

graveyards can be real scary.

- Well you don't have to
tell me that, ha!

I spent a night in a
graveyard once,

it was the worse night of my life!

Oh yeah? - Yeah!

See I was coming home
from the store,

and a big damn dog
starts chasing me.

Whose turn is it?

When are we gonna kill him?

We need some fresh blood.

- We can't kill him
when he's asleep.

Sure we can. - It takes all the

enjoyment out of it when
they're asleep.

They never scream.

I miss that human cry of terror,
when they see

grim death looming above
their gizzard!


And flashed the living
lightning from his eyes!

And cries of horror, rend
the affrighted sky!

- Let's kill him now and
get it over with,

I don't think I can
stand the noise.

As soon as he wakes up!

Whose turn is it?

The worm!

- Why don't you, go
and wait for us,

we'll be right there.

- Well I completely lost track
of whose turn it was.


And try not to waste any.


The sailor, back again, in taxi!

- So that's why I'm
scared of graveyards!

Yeah that stiff
grabbed a hold of me

like a grizzly bear!

Took me nearly an hour to get
out of that graveyard.

I think it warped me for life.

You ever been scared
like that Julio?







- Oh I see you've reconsidered
our dinner invitation!

Back, back!

Get on back!




All right, where is he,

what have you done with him?

Come on!

Oh to have lived so long,

and died, and to have survived,

only to be destroyed, by a sailor!






I never thought I'd see you again!

- I never thought I'd
see anything again!


I don't have any clothes!


Here, put that on!

Who cares about clothes at
a time like this,

let's just get out of here!

All right!



Boy am I glad to see you!

You're a life saver!

Let's get out of here!

Wait, wait, wait, wait!


# Don't get hooked by a hooker

# When you sail in southern seas

# Even though she's a looker

# She can bring you to your knees

# She'll take you to the graveyard

# And try to ease your fears

# But her friends out
in the graveyard

# Have been dead for 100 years

# They're Vampire Hookers

# Yeah they're Vampire Hookers

# Whoa they're Vampire Hookers

# And blood is not all they suck

# These girls aren't illusions

# They slit throats
from ear to ear

# They want you for transfusions

# They'll never shed a tear

# They mix real Bloody Maries, and
have a grand old time

# But you'll find out,
if you visit

# That your life's
not worth a dime

# To those Vampire Hookers

# Yeah they're Vampire Hookers

# Whoa they're Vampire Hookers

# And blood is not all they suck

# So if you meet a hooker

# And she seems so sweet and kind

# Be careful if you date her

# Your life may be on the line

# They're beautiful and sultry

# But they're not what you expect

# You'll be begging them for mercy

# As they bite you in the neck

# Because they're Vampire Hookers

# Yeah they're Vampire Hookers

# Whoa they're Vampire Hookers

# And blood is not all they suck

# Blood is not all they suck

# Blood is not all

# They suck