Valentines Date (2021) - full transcript
A couple seeking a quick divorce must survive a chaotic and crazy weekend retreat to get it.
♪ Hey
♪ Hey
♪ Hey
[Priest] Daryl and
Lola, two beautiful people
by the power vested in me
on this sanctified day,
standing here before God,
I now pronounce you now, now
and forever husband and wife.
You may kiss your bride.
[crowd cheers]
- Well.
- Aa!
- I was jus...
- The question Daryl was
for your wife.
You must give her
the opportunity
to express her truth
without interruption.
- Boring.
- Boring?
Daryl.
What?
Look, we pay you
by the hour, right?
So if she spends more
than half of our time
just to come up with insults,
what are we paying for?
We can insult each
other on our own.
This is why we're here.
No, we're here because
the state says we have
to be here in order
to file for divorce,
so let's not pretend
like is anything else.
Daryl, Lola, the reason
that you are here is,
because in compliance
with the Family Federal
Preservation Act,
in order to dissolve
your marriage
you must complete therapy first.
Doesn't say we have to do
it with you though, does it?
[chuckles] Daryl, you
can choose any therapist
you'd like; However,
good luck getting
an appointment this year.
This new law has us all swamped.
We're sorry, Dr. Barrabi,
we're just a little on edge.
No apologies necessary.
Call me Angel.
Okay, Angel.
Daryl, it's your turn.
Oh, I get to speak.
What was the question?
What's the sex like?
I asked your wife to
describe what sex was like
with you using one word.
And she said boring.
Daryl, I want you to
express your opinions
and feelings as response
not to your wife,
but as a truth,
honestly speaking to me.
Dead fish.
Daryl, I need you
to use an adjective
to describe what sex
is like with your wife.
I didn't know this
was a English class.
Okay, dead fishy adjective
meaning is like having sex
with a dead fish.
- We get it.
- Lola.
Okay, Daryl, I understand
what you're trying to say.
Daryl and Lola,
during these sessions
it's really important that you
don't interrupt one another.
You might just discover
something you were unaware of.
Lola, what do you
think Daryl likes most
about the person you are today?
[scoffs] I don't know, my ass.
Is that an honest answer,
or is that a sarcastic one?
Honestly, I don't know.
I mean, when we
first got together
he used to compliment
everything I did, everything.
Now I could build a
house from the ground up.
I could get a
promotion on my job.
Hell, I could save the world.
Matter of fact, I could even
suck his dick from the back
and he wouldn't
give me a thumbs up,
so to answer your good question
honestly, my ass maybe.
Daryl, what do you
think Lola likes most
about the person you are today?
That's easy she likes the fact
that I make less money than her.
Is that an honest answer,
or is that a sarcastic one?
That's a sarcastic answer,
and it's the honest answer.
Look, I'm an accountant.
I hate my job,
but I'm too far into
my career to change,
and I make good money,
but she makes great money.
I am the only black woman at
my firm I have to represent.
Anyway, she's always tired,
and the job is the excuse
which is why the
sex is dead fishy,
and I want to divorce
because I don't like fish.
I want some fucking chicken,
and lamb whatever
else is out there.
Okay, okay, okay, okay,
I understand the reason
that you are here is
because you want to divorce,
okay, I get that; However,
during our sessions I asked
that you not use the word.
As you know, it is my
job to bring you back
to marital bliss.
- Good luck with that.
- Good luck with that.
I'd like to do an
experiment with you.
Have you ever heard
of hypnotherapy?
Hypnotherapy?
Wait, you mean like you
dangle a watch in front of us,
and then we fall asleep
go to the sunken place
and wake up barking like dog?
Yeah, I'll pass.
So you believe it works then?
I think it's a bullshit.
So you don't believe
I can hypnotize you?
Definitely not.
So you have no
reason not to go along
with this bullshit
therapy then, right?
Wait, wait, wait, I
didn't sign up for this.
I don't wanna spend
another month trying
to get another appointment
with a different therapist,
do you?
No.
Just play along with it.
Wonderful.
Close your eyes.
[Daryl and Lola sighs]
Everything in this
world moves on a rhythm.
Imagine the rhythm
of your breathing.
The rhythm of your
heart beating.
Imagine the rhythm
of your blood flowing
through your veins from
your head to your toes.
Imagine the rhythm
of the air blowing
through the trees.
Imagine the cars
40 feet below you.
Imagine the rhythm of the water
flowing through the ocean.
Imagine the solar
system moving in unison.
Imagine the rhythm of
the earth around you.
Imagine the universe
and it's rhythm.
When I snap my fingers I
want you to open your eyes.
[snaps fingers]
- Oh my God.
- Oh, oh shit.
Doc, what did you,
what did you do us?
It's okay.
Why do I feel sad?
Yeah, I'm crying.
Are these tears in my eyes?
Yeah, mine too.
Please, please, it's okay.
Please sit down, it's okay.
Everything is okay.
You just came out of hypnosis.
EDITED BY ISMAIL DUSTIN EL MRINI INSTAGRAM:
DUSTIN.ISMAIL FACEBOOK: ISMAIL EL MRINI
The reason I wanted you to
undergo hypnotherapy was
so I could get to the
root of your problems,
and recommend a treatment.
I know it can be a
little disorientating
when you're coming out,
but I promise you,
you won't be barking
like a dog anytime soon.
Okay doc, you win,
it worked, you happy?
Are you happy?
How did you feel
when you woke up?
- Sad.
- Sad.
What did you do to us?
What did you make us experience?
Daryl, do you
wanna know as well?
Definitely.
Okay, I took you both
through scenario exercise.
In the exercise your mind
constructs a world according
to the guidance the
therapist gives you.
And what was that guidance?
I instructed you
to construct a world
where your spouse
simply cease to exist,
and then live in that
world for a year.
Hell no.
- Hell no doc.
- [chuckles] Yeah.
I appreciate what you just
tried to do and everything,
but no, I don't believe it.
You probably put like drops
in our eyes to make us cry
when we're asleep
but tell the truth.
I mean, it's a
little far fetched.
I tell you What?
Why don't you just go
ahead and sign this,
and we will be out
of your hair forever.
What was the last time
you guys watch the news?
Oh, we don't have cable,
you know, we just watch
it off of the internet.
We're saving money.
Antenna?
Too much information
can be a bad thing.
Newspaper?
Why are you so worried
about how we get our news?
Well, the state
just updated the law.
Marriage preservation
effective immediately
any couples seeking dissolution
of their marriage must
have 50 hours of therapy.
- 50 hours?
- 50 hours?
Yeah, 50 hours guys with
the same marriage counselor.
You could move, refile, qualify,
and then get your divorce there.
- Yeah.
- Okay doc, realistically,
with your schedule how
long are we talking?
The only reason you got
an appointment with me is
because I had a
couple who reconciled,
so honestly, 49 one hour
treatments will take
about three years.
Oh, no, no, no, no, I
cannot go another three years
with this man.
Doc, this is probably
gonna sound like a bribe,
but we have money.
We have about $20,000
saved up and we're looking
for a place to donate it to,
maybe we could donate
it to for your...
To your hypnotherapy research.
Exactly.
So you want me to compromise
my company, my job for you?
I'm sorry the law is the law.
I may have a solution
to your problem
but it will cost you
in more than money.
Name your price.
When was the last time
you all went on a date?
[Lola scoffs]
It's been a while.
It's been too long.
Oh, is this my fault?
Usually I only
recommend this to couples
that I think just need to tweak
their marriage a little bit.
There's an experimental
intensive therapy program.
It's very hush hush,
and it's something
like a couples retreat,
but it's much more intense.
You just want it to be
over and I can see that.
So here's the deal
I am authorized
to offer alternative therapies
in lieu of our visits.
Here's the deal
complete the training,
and you get the paperwork
that's the deal.
And what happens
if this doesn't work?
I mean, you see how he acts,
what if he can't handle
it and he bails out,
like he bails out
on everything else?
I don't bail.
I follow through,
I give 100% everything
I do of anything.
I'm worried about her dead
fishing in the operation
and getting us kicked
out for not trying.
Look, you've already
given each other seven years
of your life.
Next week is Valentine's Day.
How about you all go
on your last date?
It sounds like a shit show.
Guys, please it's up to you,
you can do the retreat,
or you can do 49 more
sessions with me,
or you can stay married
and work out your problems,
but for today our
session is over,
so please make your next
appointment at the desk.
[saxophone music]
[ambient music]
[door unlocks]
[door closes]
[upbeat music]
Put your hands up,
beautiful, beautiful.
Ah, nice.
Ah, that's what
I'm talking about.
[techno music]
You can touch down right there.
Just put it down right there.
Good job nephew.
[techno music continues]
[indistinct]
[laughs] Let's get
one more come on.
Coming, coming, coming.
Ooh, that boy good right there.
Woo, all American.
Where the hell are these people?
Hey mommy.
Hey baby.
Is that DJ?
No, my man likes
it when I talk to him
like he's five years old.
Mommy, do I still
have to go to bed
at the same time at
my uncle Glen's house?
Listen, you've been a good boy,
and you can stay up
as late as you want
just make sure that it's
okay with uncle Glenn.
Are you behaving,
are you playing nice
with your cousins?
Yes mommy, what's an areola?
Areola?
- Junior, hey daddy.
- Hey champ.
Yeah, me and mommy love
you, and we miss you,
and we'll be back
to pick you up soon.
- You're having fun?
- Yes.
Good, be a good boy and
pass me to uncle Glen.
Okay.
Hello.
Glen, why is my son
asking what an areola is?
A areola?
An areola, you know
the titty circle,
the Oreo on the nipple,
why is he asking about areolas?
Calm down he found a dictionary.
Listen, he's asked the
letter A right now.
He asked me and I said,
"No ask your mother."
Oh, okay.
Everything okay?
Yeah, I'm fine I'm
just a little stress.
Thank you so much
for doing this.
We appreciate it.
Ah anytime siz I got you.
You and Daryl made a good kid,
but it's a shame
it didn't work out.
For what it's worth
happy Valentine's day.
Hello, hello.
Okay.
Come on we outta here man.
Who the hell is this
Mr. Savelove anyway?
I don't know, it's
definitely a fake name.
Sound like an '80s porn star.
Yeah, like a '80s
James Bond villain.
With an eye patch and
a long dirty fingernail
on his Pinky.
Yeah, I know, a
little cat with no hair.
Like a gollum from "The
Lord of the Ring Gollum King".
[laughs] Yeah.
Hello, and Happy
Valentine's Day.
Daryl and Lola congratulations
on your decision
to take the Save Love
Challenge on this special day.
At Save Love Industries
we bring couples together
through experiential therapy
which uses real
life decision making
to reinforce the
essential values
that form the basis
of our relationships.
Today 614 couples have gone
through our
experiential therapy.
As of this day 612
of those couples
are still very happily married.
One couple died in
a tragic accident
and you are couples 614.
That's right, your
experience has already begun.
Now beneath the seats
you're sitting in is a box
please pull it out
and open it up.
Oh, go ahead now.
All right, when you open
the box you will find
that there are two truffles,
one for each of you.
Now these truffles
are nothing more
than a sweet
self-dissolving sedative.
Now experiences here are
necessarily discrete,
so you will take the sedative,
and then you will wake
up in your experience.
The Best of love to
you Daryl and Lola.
[TV goes off]
[suspense music]
Oh my God,
where are we?
Shit. [Groans]
Where are we?
[suspense music]
What in the ghetto
"Hunger Games" is this shit?
Where's my phone?
What the hell?
Oh my God.
I can't believe I let you
convinced me to do this dumb shit.
You know, they probably have
already stolen our identities
and emptied our bank
accounts by now,
and left us here to die.
Oh, so now it's my fault.
Well, you're the one that
wanted the quick divorce.
Oh, don't play the
blame game with me.
We wouldn't even be here
if it wasn't for you.
If you're so perfect then
why don't you figure
out a perfect plan
so we can get the
hell out of here
and be done with each
other once and for all.
- Fine.
- Fine.
- Shit.
- Shit.
Well, we can't stay here,
'cause we'd be crispy
critters by morning.
Yeah, we probably
have enough water
to lose maybe like
a couple days.
24 hours.
- Not the way you drink.
- Whatever.
- Daryl?
- What?
What is that?
Is that a dead body?
Oh shit!
Hello.
Go look.
[screams]
- Oh, blood, blood.
- Okay.
Is he dead?
Definitely dead,
- definitely dead.
- Oh God.
What in the actual fuck?
Oh my God.
Why did I let Daryl
convince me to do this?
This is not good.
We gotta figure
out who this guy is.
Well, check and see if
he has an ID or something.
[suspense music]
All right.
Well, grab it.
Here, I need your
hacking skills.
Oh, you need me.
- Just.
- Okay, the phone has like,
a sliver of battery left,
but there's one problem,
it needs facial recognition
to open the phone.
Okay.
Yeah, definitely has like,
two minutes of battery tops.
We can either make a phone call,
or look, there's a message.
Let's see if we make a call
there's the possibility
that the ringing will use
up the rest of the battery?
Yeah, and I don't know
any phone numbers, do you?
911.
Oh yeah, and what are we
gonna say when they answer?
Ma'am, where are you?
Yeah, plus, the message
might have some clue
to who the hell this
guy is and where we are.
Final answer?
Final answer.
Okay.
[Savelove] Hey, Bobby,
this is Mr. Savelove.
Hey, you're just a few hours
late for your check in,
so I thought I'd
check in with you,
and I know this is the
paranoid in me speaking,
but I got a little worried
that maybe your old friends
in Organized Crime had
caught up with you.
Now we know this is a stretch,
because this is the
very reason we send you
on these remote South
American type jobs
to keep you safe
from these people,
and obviously if you're
gonna start an experience
in a remote location you
might not have the signal.
So you know what, I'm just
gonna let you do this operation
with no training wheels.
Enjoy your weekend
with Daryl and Lola.
They're pretty much
doomed to fail,
but you know, we
can't win them all.
We will see you all in the
rendezvous point on Monday.
Godspeed.
Did he just say South America?
- Oh my God.
- Not the south of America,
South of fucking America.
Oh my God, this is so crazy.
Why did I even let you
convince me to look here?
Oh look, there's like
a paper or a script.
Please be a map.
A map?
It's a script with instructions.
Instructions for
Save Love's handler.
Participants will
wake up this orientated,
read them the following message.
Your name is insert name here,
and I will be your handler
for Save Love's adventure.
The purpose of this venture
is to give a last hurrah
to the couples planning
to end their marriage.
You should view this weekend
as an opportunity to say
and do things that will leave
you both with no regrets
as you embark on
your separate lives.
On Monday, Monday at 8 a.m.
the adventure will end,
and we will all be
picked up and taken home.
In the meantime your
mission is to survive.
Make the most of what you have.
After that walk towards
a helicopter dramatically
and climb in.
The participants will
try to ask you questions
act like you don't hear them.
When you get into
the helicopter,
yell back at them dramatically
with the following words,
"Very important, if
at any point you want
to quit this adventure
and forfeit your payment.
You can do this by lighting
the flare in your bag.
Only I will know what it means
"that I will come pick you up."
Tell the pilot to hover
close to the ground,
so that the participants
have to cover their faces
then tell him to fly away fast.
This will leave them
participants most impressed.
I am not impressed.
How to be an asshole to
people who just wasted 20Gs.
Oh my God, oh no, we
are definitely getting
our money back.
[scoffs] Good luck with that.
What do you mean?
I didn't sign up for this.
- Well.
- Well nothing.
We just spent $20,000
on getting out of here,
so we can get divorce and this
is not what I signed up for.
We have a hitman on the loose,
and the guy that was supposed
to help us is now dead
so we have no way to get
out of this nightmare,
so best believe I am
getting my money back,
and I am suing the
crap out of them.
- On Monday.
- Monday.
Today is Friday.
We have to survive
in this until Monday.
What do you wanna do?
We can't stay here,
so I'm looking this way and
all I'm seeing is nothing.
So we will definitely
run out of food and water
before we hit civilization.
If we go this way we
got the mountains,
and that's a tough hike,
but we'll have some shade,
might find some water,
and we'll definitely well
we might find a cave too.
A cave?
Do I look like a
cave woman to you?
Do you have a better idea?
Oh God, just kill me now.
Don't tempt me.
Don't start.
[backpack zips]
[sighs] What's the point?
[sighs]
So the mountain then?
What choice do I have?
[ambient music]
Good morning.
Good morning.
[sighs]
I guess you're not so useless.
What are you making over there
with those astronaut meals?
We have Mexican chicken stew,
beef ravioli.
Sounds delicious.
[guitar music]
It's actually pretty good.
What are we gonna tell Junior?
I don't know.
Honestly, why don't
we say we grew apart?
What does that even mean?
It's something most couples say
when they go through a divorce.
It seems to fit us.
I wish we weren't.
Yeah me too.
[sighs] Well let's
hurry up and eat,
'cause we need to get to
that cave before nightfall.
I don't think I wanna
sleep on these rocks again.
[suspense music]
Daryl, I can't
walk much further.
I figure we got
about 15 more minutes
before we get to the peak.
Can you tough it out?
Well yeah, let me
just get some water.
Daryl, I don't have
any more water.
I thought I had
another bottle in here.
Daryl I don't have
any more water.
- I think I drank less of it.
- Oh, I got one,
I got one.
It's okay.
Thanks.
You know, we've been
through way worse than this.
Remember that time we got
robbed and stranded in Detroit.
[laughs] Yeah.
No phone, no shoes, no money.
And nobody believed us.
Yeah, 'cause everybody
thought we were crackheads.
We did look and
smell like crackheads.
Well, you looked
like Samuel L. Jackson.
I looked like Halle Berry.
All right "Jungle Fever" yeah.
Anyway, we could
get through this.
[Lola sighs]
Right?
Yeah.
Let's go on our date.
Daryl?
Yeah.
This is the worst
fucking date ever.
[laughs] Happy Valentine's Day.
Happy Valentines.
Oh my God.
[groans] I'm so thirsty.
I'm tired.
I'm tired, and
thirsty, and hungry,
and I don't know which is worse.
Is that what I think it is?
[chuckles] Yes, it's the top.
How much further
do you think it is?
[groans] About three hours.
Oh no.
- [sighs] I can't.
- Come on.
I can't take another step.
You need to.
I don't plan to
die here with you.
I need to.
Actually look, I
think I found something.
Come on.
Come look.
Come on, Daryl.
Come on.
Look.
Check, open it up.
Well, be careful 'cause it
can be a bomb or something.
Really?
[Lola] What is it?
- It's water.
- Oh my God.
And it's still cold.
[Lola pants]
How is it still cold?
I don't know zero fucks given.
Who do they belong to?
Really, it doesn't matter.
You know what?
Let's package it up
and get outta here.
Not bad.
I don't wanna spend another
night on this mountain.
Yeah.
Matter of fact, did you
hear a howling last night?
Oh my God, did you
lick my toes last night?
Ah, in your dreams.
I mean, I'm serious.
It was either you or
coyote sniffing around me
and licking my toes.
Why would a coyote sniff
and lick us and not eat us?
Because we stink?
Speak for yourself.
You stink on a normal day,
so I know you stink today.
A matter of fact, it was
probably your stinking ass
that saved us last night.
[laughs] You got jokes when
you get a little water in you.
I'm just saying.
It could be one or two options,
either coyote lick
my toes or you did.
- Whatever.
- Whatever.
Wait a minute, what
if this was all a part
of Save Love's Adventure?
You know, like, when
the marathon organizers
they leave refreshments
along the route.
Okay, but how could
they possibly know
that we will end up
in this exact spot.
I mean, that is true,
our tour guide Bobby
did get murdered.
Unless Bobby's
job was to drop us
in the middle of nowhere,
and let us fend for ourselves,
and remember we did all those
personality assessments.
So maybe they just calculated
what logical decisions we
will make all the way up
until this point.
Right, but they probably figured
that we would see the city
from the top of the mountain's
peak and then just give up.
Exactly, 'cause remember even
when we were on the mountain
when we first started
climbing the mountain
the only route that we
could logically took
without mission impossible
style mountain climbing
there was only one.
So in theory, if we make
logical decisions the whole way
through it shouldn't
lead us to safety,
or at least help us
survive until Monday.
Okay, but what
happens when your logic
and my logic are not the same?
Shit, I don't know.
[sighs] We'll just talk it out,
like we did in the desert.
Pack up the waters in your
backpack and let's go.
It's okay.
[backpack unzips]
[Lola] Make sure you
get all of those, Daryl.
Yeah, yeah.
[backpack zips]
Hurry up.
[suspense music]
[car engine revving]
This is some kind of a mirage.
[Miguel] Hello amigos.
Americano.
Oh my God.
American?
You is Americano.
Do you understand English?
[Miguel speaks in
foreign language]
I mean obviously that
person is a Mexican.
- [speaks in foreign language]
You're two Americano, right?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
[Miguel yells in
foreign language]
This is the part where his
friends harvest our kidneys.
[Miguel speaks in
foreign language] Okay?
[Miguel Speaks in
foreign language]
My sister she make a bet
from moneys and chips,
do not touch.
[speaks in foreign language]
She says you guys are Africans,
and I said [speaks in
foreign language], come on.
See that the problem is,
I watch a little
bit of MTV, okay,
so that's why when I see
swag I know what it is.
Baby, but when I look at you
the scheme, J Lo, baby good.
And you my friend [speaks in
foreign language] those Timbs,
Brooklyn, baby, Brooklyn,
[speaks in foreign language].
You're good, okay man.
Let me get something, you
rapping and you hoochie mama.
Hoochie mama, no.
Oh, I'm sorry, I'm
sorry, I'm sorry,
okay, my English not
very good looking.
I meant to say a baby mama.
Oh, no, I'm definitely
not a baby mama.
- Technically, you are.
- I am his wife.
My name is Lola this
is Daryl, you are?
My name is Miguel and my sister,
let's say, so are you, you know?
Yes, am I?
You rapping, you
know, you're a rapper?
You know what?
When I was in the ninth
grade I was rapping.
I know what you're meaning.
They call me MC Deep Cuts.
Yeah, because your
toenails were so long.
MC Deep cuts.
Close enough.
Daryl is an accountant
we're trying to get
to the US Embassy.
Do you know which way we go?
You got any water,
you got water?
Water, water, you got water?
- No, sorry we're out.
- We ran out.
Your loss that way.
That way?
No, no, see we just came
- from that way.
- Came from that way.
We just walked a day
and a half from that way.
Well you did okay.
You're [chuckles] but you
[chuckles] you're right,
I mean that none of my business,
but if you wanna walk then
no impossible you need
the plane, fly, plane,
airport 200 away
you gotta go there, no,
no, walking babe I'm sorry,
but they like to see
but I don't know.
But why don't you just okay.
- Mm-mh.
- A plane?
I'm sorry my English not
very good speaking I'm sorry
but you got money for the plane?
- No.
- No.
When okay, I mean,
that no money, no plane.
No embassy no way, hey wait,
♪ No money
♪ No plane
♪ No embassy
Right, that like the first one
mate, the first one rapping
I'm rapping the first one.
You like it 'cause it's
a bit slow but we can
pause, pause, pause
we can do both.
Oh my God.
- Nice rap, Miguel.
- Mmh.
- We got robbed kind off.
- Mm-hmm.
And they took all our
money and our phones.
No, okay.
- So we need.
- I didn't do it.
We have money but we need
to get access to the internet,
so that we can get our money.
- Really?
- Do you have
like a phone that we can use?
Can we borrow your phone?
Is like a little
complicating, okay?
This town is called
Nophono, okay.
It used to be among steering
until we tell you we relocated.
- Nophono?
- Nophono, no phoning mean.
The police that was in there
they don't [speaks
in foreign language].
He [speaks in foreign language].
He left the police hall
to become an [speaks
in foreign language]
and the mayor of this town,
and since then there was
no crimes for 100 years.
And then somebody decided
to travel to the city
[speaks in foreign language]
and get a cellphone.
So what do you think
is gonna happen?
[speaks in foreign language]
They try to sneak it into town,
and guess what?
Within a week the first crime,
so since that no [speaks in
foreign language] e-mail, Yahoo,
Messaging, no, and the closest
city is 300 miles away,
so the only visitors we
get is when all those monks
beginning to pray and
then to the hotel,
so sorry no, Messaging,
Yahoo, no internet
[speaks in foreign language]
We got TV only internet.
- We are so fucked.
- So fucked.
You guys need a
place to stay tonight?
Tonight right?
- Right.
- Yes.
[speaks in foreign language]
My cousin is the
owner of the hotel.
You got money?
No.
Didn't we just cover this?
Yeah, we already went over this.
Well, no money, no
hotel, no, I can't do that,
no, my cousin, my
primo is very serious,
very serious about money.
No money no hotel,
I can't do it, no.
- I'm good are you?
- No, I can't do it.
Okay, what about this,
Miguel, what if MC Deep Cuts
- writes you a rap.
- I don't play like that.
- Yeah.
- And you get us a hotel night
for tonight and tomorrow night.
Yeah, fire.
Yeah it will be the best rap,
and you'll become super famous.
Super famous.
You dare do that for me?
I got you.
No, I don't like it.
I don't like it because you
putting me we best friends,
we go through a lot and put
me in difficult position.
I no do that.
I give you the free
night, okay, I do that
because I like you,
but after that my
cousin I'm telling you,
I don't even like him,
he dangerous, he gonna want
payment after the first night,
and those bars better
be fire, aight?
I thought you didn't
speak English well.
I know a little bit come on
[speaks in foreign language]
I know for a bit but
when it comes to sex,
drinking, moaning,
Lisa fucking Lisa, man.
Miguel, do we have a deal?
I like your Timbs.
Okay, very nice.
My friend we thank
bro, okay, west coast.
Okay thank you.
Yeah, common themes I like it.
All right, no walking.
Want a ride?
I can't walk another step.
We gotta ride in a Hearse.
Come on let's go, hurry
it up, let's go, very nice.
Hey one friendy,
it's a little full.
Hey, Bennie [laughs] on the
back let's go, let's go.
Well, vamonos, come on,
come on [speaks in
foreign language].
Let's go.
Oh shit.
Is there somebody in there?
You don't talk to her,
she don't talk to you.
Let's go time, come on.
Ladies first.
[scoffs] Daryl.
Be careful.
Okay baby [speaks in
foreign language].
See that.
That's how you do it baby.
[upbeat music]
[indistinct]
[upbeat music continues]
[sighs] Oh my God.
[door closes]
[cheers]
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Oh yes.
[sighs]
[Daryl sighs]
[Lola sighs]
I'm sorry, are you
missing something?
Oh, last night we
slept on the ground.
Tonight we're in
this hotel room,
we have this bed.
Yeah, but we still have
nothing to eat but MREs.
I guess this is
better than nothing.
Come on, come lie down.
Really?
Relax, stick boys,
it's just a nap.
What happened to us?
I don't know, we got trapped
in the middle of nowhere
with so with some dead,
mafia murder, hitman.
I mean, we have no phones,
no passports, no internet.
I'm serious.
What happened to us?
[sighs] I don't know,
we're just humans, I guess.
I guess what I'm saying
is every time I think
about something shitty
that you did to me
I think of something equally
shitty that I did to you,
and then I remember something
shitty that you did to me
before I did a
shitty thing to you,
and I guess, I just don't
know where it all started.
I mean, I understand we've
been together for seven years,
and I honestly can't remember
the last time I liked you.
- I mean...
- Damn.
Don't get me wrong,
I love you I just
I can't remember the last time
that I was in love with you.
I mean sometimes you're
so ugly to each other
that you get to a point
that there's just no return.
Yeah.
[sighs]
You know what?
We're here now,
like for whatever crazy force
of nature brought us here,
we're here now,
so maybe we should just
do what Dr. Barrabi said.
It's a date.
Let's try to enjoy it.
EDITED BY ISMAIL DUSTIN EL MRINI INSTAGRAM:
DUSTIN.ISMAIL FACEBOOK: ISMAIL EL MRINI
Deal?
Deal.
But what are we gonna
do tomorrow night?
I don't wanna stay outside
and be homeless again.
Usually people think
better well rested.
Let's get some rest
then we'll figure it out
when we wake up.
Okay.
[ominous music]
[bangs on door]
Coming.
Where'd that come from?
Who knows left outside.
I mean, obviously
it was a mistake.
Let me go give it
to the front desk.
Oh, not so fast.
I'm saying maybe there's
something in there we could sell.
Oh my God, you are so grimy.
Babe, I'm saying
if we don't come up
with a plan we're gonna
be sleeping on the streets
in Nophono today.
I think we at least
owe it to ourselves
to know what's in the bag.
Wait, what if this is all
part of Save Love's experience?
Miguel is so fucking weird,
[Lola chuckles]
And no phone, no internet.
I mean, what are the odds
that his cousin owns a hotel?
I see your point.
What if what you're
saying is true
then doing the most logical
thing should lead us
to what we need.
Fuck it, open the bag.
Wait, what if there's a bomb?
Now it's a bomb.
I'm serious.
Oh my God, you watch
too much action movies.
Open the bag.
Open it.
And if it is a bomb?
If it's a bomb we can sell it
so we don't have to spend
another night outside.
Open the bag.
[Lola gasps]
It'll feel like
$5 million in here.
What are we gonna do?
Well, I'll tell you
what we're not gonna do,
we not turning it
into the front desk.
Let's pack this shit up
and go get us some food,
and pay for another
night at the hotel.
Aint gotta tell me twice.
Let's go.
Hurry up.
Let's go.
Waiting on you slow poke.
Almost done.
Wait a minute.
Back there you call me
babe that's how we feeling?
[sighs] We're in
a truce right now.
Truce till we
survive this thing.
I'm tired of arguing.
Truce.
[door opens]
[guitar music]
We did that.
Oh yeah.
Do you know what we didn't do?
- What?
- We didn't shower.
[piano music]
Damn.
You coming?
[piano music continues]
[shower runs]
[upbeat music]
- What was that?
- Somebody is pissed.
- Open the door.
- Or what?
You missed the drop.
- My boss...
- Your job was to wait
until I get the money.
It wasn't dropped
off to me, all right,
so I'm sorting it out
now, but I need more time.
[Man] You have
approximately three seconds,
one, three.
[gun fires]
Oh shit.
Someone's got to report
this to the cops.
We gotta get out of here.
We cannot stay here.
Let's go, let's go.
Let's get the fuck outta here.
- Let's go, let's go.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait.
We can't leave.
We gotta calm down.
They don't know we here.
Someone just got murdered.
I know but if we
leave they will see us.
Look, the way I see it
the best thing to do is
to stay in the room.
We order room service
and we don't fucking leave
until Monday morning.
No, I'm getting the
fuck outta here now.
Listen, to me we only got two
options, either we stay here
or we go and sleep
in the mountains,
or we can't sleep in the streets
- 'cause we're too conspicuous.
- No, no, no, no,
I'm not sleeping in the
mountains one more night.
Then it's settled.
Oh God.
I'm scared.
Come lay down with me.
[ominous music]
Quiet.
I'm sorry.
For what?
For cheating on you.
[Suspense music]
That's it.
You're not gonna say anything?
I cheated on you too.
What?
Hold up you have been
treating me like shit lately
and you cheated on me too.
Daryl you got me fucked up.
[Daryl] Sorry.
Who did you cheat on with?
No, matter of fact I can't
even believe you right now.
Seriously, after everything.
You've been walking
around here treating me
like I'm some sort
of damaged goods.
[Daryl] Okay, you wanna know?
Why Daryl, tell me
why, tell me why Daryl?
I'll tell you, I
will tell you why.
Because...
I can't make it even, okay.
I slept with that
girl out of spite.
With an empty heart.
I couldn't even even enjoy it,
'cause I kept seeing
your face with him.
You used to be my
only obsession,
but you killed that.
Daryl, [sighs] look,
I know I fucked up, okay,
and you fucked up,
we both fucked up,
[ominous music]
But it's not fair for you
to treat me like shit,
because of one single
moment, one mistake,
and I'm gonna own that,
that is my truth that I
cheated on and I'm sorry,
I am so sorry,
but for you to sit there and
act like all the good things
that I do means nothing.
EDITED BY ISMAIL DUSTIN EL MRINI INSTAGRAM:
DUSTIN.ISMAIL FACEBOOK: ISMAIL EL MRINI
[sniffles] Okay, I just want you
to promise me one thing, Daryl
when it comes to our son,
that you're always
gonna be there for him.
That you are gonna be the
kind of father that he needs
to steer the boat even
when the waters are rough,
because he needs
you above anybody.
Look, in the divorce
I don't want anything,
I don't want your money,
I don't want child
support, no alimony,
I just I want us to be
friends like we used to be.
I'm being petty as fuck.
[both laughing]
Oh my God, you are being petty.
[both laughing]
I forgive you, Lola.
Let's just never talk
about this again,
and let's never fight in
front of our child again.
Agreed.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, me too.
Oh Daryl, get
up, get up, get up.
[Machete shushes]
[speaks in foreign
language] First things first,
if you scream you die.
Good morning to the happy soon
to be divorced couple.
Don't be mean say
good morning back.
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
In my culture it's very
rude to start a conversation
before brushing your teeth,
so please...
go brush your teeth,
so we can have a
polite conversation.
That's enough get
back over here.
Sit on the bed.
My name is Alfonso
Mundo Matamoros Doohan
Ramon Nunez Pinyon, Jr,
but my friends, and my
enemies know me as Machete.
You have the option to
be a friend or an enemy,
either way you will call me?
- Machete.
- Machete.
Very good, very good.
You're a smart couple.
I know you grew up poor,
but now you are more educated
than most of the US population.
You have a suburban lifestyle.
You have an honorable kid.
You pretty much
have a perfect life.
Let me tell you about myself.
I too, have a family.
I have a beautiful young
daughter, a fantastic wife.
I work for the person who that
money was supposed to go to.
You see right now we should be
in the middle of this thing.
The man next door he's
an Interpol agent.
He was supposed to make a
transaction with my boss,
and he was supposed to record
it and provide it to Interpol
so they can arrest my boss,
and in exchange me and my
family we're supposed to move
to a new country and
start a new life.
But somebody bust the
drop and you guys wind up
with the money.
[sighs] Let me ask you this,
and do not lie to me,
did you spend any of that money?
Yes.
[Machete sighs]
[Machete screams]
[gun fires]
Okay. [Sighs]
But anyway, my boss is pissed,
but I'm sure I can explain it
away as a misunderstanding,
and we can make this
deal happen again,
because after all we got
the Interpol agent killed.
You will impersonate the
agent and his mistress.
You will record the
interaction on this webcam,
get the video to Interpol,
and then you can go home
and I can start a new life.
Look man, we're really sorry,
We're not the type.
But we're not that, just not,
- I'm a lover, not a fighter.
- And I'm an accountant.
Both of you will do
this, you understand?
Or I just kill you now.
- We'll do it.
- We'll do it.
Daryl, you're supposed
to be a high town criminal
who moves from place to place,
so the authorities
can't find him.
Lola, you're a prostitute
that Daryl has
rented indefinitely.
Both of you have to look like
you come from the underworld,
if you want my boss
to believe you.
I serve as head of security,
so I will be the
one standing next
to my boss receiving the money,
and counting it so the
money won't be missed.
Be at this address with a
briefcase at 12 o'clock,
high noon, do you understand?
[upbeat music]
All right, we
got like one minute
before we're supposed
to be in there,
- and I can't fucking breathe.
- Just breathe, Daryl.
Oh my God.
- Are you okay?
- Yeah.
No.
- Not this shit again.
- Okay.
- Focus, focus, focus.
- Okay.
Breathe, take a deep breath.
Let it out.
Okay.
I need you to be
the guy that you are
whenever we're at the bar and
someone is looking at my ass.
That guy, I need
you to be him, okay?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
You feel it?
- Do you feel it?
- Yeah.
- Shit yeah.
- Yeah, okay, okay.
- I got this.
- Yes.
Our life Insurance
is paid up, right?
Yeah, three months in advance.
Good, good, good, good.
- I need to tell you something.
- I need
to tell you something.
- Okay, you go.
- Okay, you go.
- Go first, go first.
- Okay.
If we don't make it
outta here alive...
Don't say that.
We gotta have a plan.
Okay, what?
If we don't make
it outta here alive
we gotta tell Junior
something heroic.
We can't let him think
we died doing some kind
of freaky drug deal.
Okay, that'll work.
- All right, cool.
- Let's go.
Are you ready?
Yeah.
Wait, what did
you want to tell me?
Oh, nothing.
Let's go, let's go.
You might not
get another chance.
Let's not get killed.
- Good idea.
- Okay.
All right.
Daryl?
Let's do it.
Put your glasses on.
Okay.
All right.
I have the burn,
I've got the burn.
Let's go.
[ominous music]
Well, well, well, so you
finally decided to show up
with my money.
We'd some problems
with the drop,
but we here now.
Do you have the money?
[suspense music]
It's all here boss.
Pleasure doing
business with you.
Wait a minute, what
about our product?
I see who wears the
pants in this relationship.
Your product will be delivered
whenever you pay the full
value of my services.
Look, you don't know
who you messing with.
We brought you the money
now you give us our product,
or else shit.
I've always considered
banks a rip off.
Yet, they are a
necessary rip off.
I mean, where else
can you get a service
that is guaranteed against
any extenuating circumstance.
In banking, late payments
cost you interest.
It's fundamentally
there after all.
You two came highly recommended
by my head of security.
Now I've taken your
integrity for granted,
so can you imagine how
disappointed I would be
if you decided not
to treat me fairly
by not paying me the
interest you owe me.
How much?
Double.
The higher the stakes
the higher the interest.
Boss?
[mumbles]
My head of security believes
I should show you the products
so that you would be sufficiently
motivated to get my money,
so there you go.
$5 million dollars worth of
West African blood diamonds.
But I don't think you are
sufficiently motivated,
so I've prepared a
little show for you.
Our mutual friend Machete
here should know better
than to ever question my
authority in front of my men,
so to prove his loyalty he is
now going to cut off his hand.
Whoa, whoa, you do
not have to do that.
Yeah, we're motivated.
We're fully motivated.
Boss, please.
Do it.
Boss please, I'm
just doing my job.
We don't, pleased don't.
Don't do this.
- You don't have to do it.
- Machete.
- Please.
- Do it or die.
[Lola] Machete, don't do it.
No, please let go of me.
No.
[Machete screams]
[knife thuds]
[suspense music]
[punch thuds]
[guns firing]
Oh God, oh God.
[guns firing]
Nice drop back there.
Thank you.
I meant her, but
you do all right.
Thanks, Machete.
We play a lot of video games.
- Yeah.
- I bet you do.
Listen, if I don't make it
out of here I need you to take
that front camera
to this address,
and make sure that they get it.
That will guarantee my family's
freedom and their future.
I need you to promise me.
Please promise me.
- We promise.
- We promise, Machete.
Okay let's get the
hell out of here.
Go that way take a left and run.
- What about you?
- I'll be right behind you.
[ambient music]
Well, [laughs] I don't
have to tell you that,
that did not go as planned.
You think?
[both laughing]
[all laughing]
Let me just say that of course
we have already refunded
the money in full,
and let me just say how
incredibly sorry I am
for what you've had to endure.
I even brought
Dr. Barrabi along,
because I was afraid you
might be tearing the flesh off
of each other right now.
I must say you
guys look different.
Well, we were starved.
We were stalked by coyotes.
Got shot at,
forced to write a rap.
Yeah, and we had no
internet and no phones.
Witnessed a bunch of murders.
Bunch of murders.
Yeah, that might have
changed us a little bit.
A little bit just a mich.
I understand, okay well,
I brought something today
that I think might cheer you up.
Your signed the paperwork
having completed therapy.
Congratulations.
[somber music]
- Nah.
- Nah.
[papers tearing]
Can we get the hell out of here?
- Absolutely.
- Yes, yes, of course we can.
Your Save Love express
chariot awaits.
Oh no, no more surprises
what the hell is that?
Oh, it's a helicopter.
- Okay.
- Okay.
[upbeat music]
♪ Yeah
♪ This is MC Deep Cuts
♪ And I wanna introduce
y'all to my main man
♪ Miguel aka Miguelito
aka the undertaker
♪ They call me the undertaker
♪ I drive a Hearse
♪ Be money maker
♪ You bring your girl
around me I will take her
♪ In my town I'm a
shaker and baker
♪ I rep for my city Nophono
♪ No internet
service, no phono
♪ You pick up the
phone no tono
♪ We don't have
[raps in foreign language]
♪ Shout out to my
nephew for the
♪ You know you come to
Nophono is your love
♪ Yo Deep Cuts come
get on the mic
♪ But them bars better
be fire, aight
♪ Deep cuts is the
hip hop legend
♪ Cool love is the
hip hop queen
♪ We stick two days
in the desert
♪ Can't tell you the
shit we've seen
♪ Deep Cuts is a haven father
♪ Me and Lola wasn't
feeling that scene
♪ We went through
long time hell
♪ But they still couldn't
break this team
♪ We had to fight some fools
♪ Back like Bonnie and Clyde
♪ Travel half way
around the world
♪ But our dreams
are still alive
♪ We got an awesome kid
♪ We got a decent life
♪ We have tenacious life
♪ And enjoy being man and wife
♪ Ah
♪ And that's how
the story goes
♪ Shout out to Maverick
Entertainment
♪ Delta Robin crew
♪ Best of luck to all of y'all
♪ Peace
♪ We outta here
Good morning.
Welcome to your
Save Love Adventure.
My name is Daryl and
I would be your guide.