Vacation in Val Trebbia (1980) - full transcript



In paradise,
where you meet the angels...

...where you meet the martyrs...

Bobbio, we've arrived in Bobbio.

In Bobbio you suffer,

from Perino to Bobbio you vomit.

In paradise,
where you meet the angels...

And so arrived a crow,
an owl and a talking cricket.

Come on, into the buggy!

No, no, no, from the other side!

I'd like to know from you gentlemen

whether this poor puppet
is alive or dead.

Long nails.

Filthy knees.

Dirty ears.

A liar's nose.

In my opinion,
the puppet is stone cold dead,

but if by chance he weren't dead,

that would mean he's still alive.

I think that a good doctor,
when he doesn't know what to say,

should simply say nothing at all.


I've known this puppet
for a long time.

- He's a thorough scoundrel.
- He's a thorough scoundrel.

- He's a naughty brat.
- He's a naughty brat.

- A lazy boy, a vagabond.
- A lazy boy, a vagabond!

- This puppet...
- This puppet...

- He's a disobedient little boy.
- He's a disobedient little boy.

He will drive his poor daddy
to despair.

When the dead cry
it means they are getting better.

I don't mean to contradict the crow,

illustrious friend and colleague,
but in my opinion...

- Will you worship our gods?
- No.

You'll pay for that answer
with your life!

Our Father who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name.

Hail Mary, full of grace,
Our Lord is with you.

Blessed are you...

...those who trespass against us,

lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from Evil.

- Hi, how are you?
- Hi!

- How are you?
- I'm fine, thanks.

- How are things going in Rome?
- Well, in Rome...

The film industry's suffering.

- But you're still working.
- Yes... Well, of course.

Well, yes, I can't complain.

- And on the women front?
- Women! We're no longer players.

Right? We've retired now!

- Okay, see you then. Bye.
- Bye, thanks.

- Who is he?
- He's the son of...

Listen here!

I refuse to take this bitter medicine.
No, no, no!

- My dear boy, you'll be sorry!
- I don't care!

- Yours is a serious illness.
- I don't care!

The fever will soon take you
to the other side.

- I don't care!
- Aren't you afraid of death?

Not one bit! I'd rather die
than take that bitter medicine!

Turn that way...
You two in the front, that way!

Follow Giorgio!

- What do you want from me?
- We've come to take you away!

To take me away?
But I'm not dead yet!

Not yet, but you'll only live
for a few more minutes,

because you didn't take the medicine

that would have cured your fever.

Oh, dear fairy!
Give me that glass immediately,

I don't want to die!
No, I don't want to die!

Never mind, this time
it was a wasted journey.

Now the children can have some cake!
And there are pastries too!

Careful, watch out.

There, I'm dead.

Are you nuts? If you give me
these loving kisses,

I can't resist! Give me a kiss!
Give me a kiss!

- A nice kiss, I want a nice one!
- No, come on!

- Look, a loving kiss...
- Yes, yes.

Look! Ouch!

- I'll give you one!
- Are you going to eat me?

- Watch out, he'll look at your cards.
- Come on...

- Come on, play!
- Come on.

- Come on!
- It's your turn! Go on.


Throw down an ace,
I win this round.

- No, wait...
- Don't you have one?

Okay... keep your points.

Wait, let me put down my six.

- Let's play our top one.
- Take it.

We've won.

No, you've already done this
once before!

- It's over.
- We didn't do it before!

- You've got another five!
- Nonsense!

- Get lost, idiot.
- Stop being a pain!

I told you:
"Leave the Jack there!"

Fuck off!

Listen, want to come for a swim?

No, I'm feeling sorry for myself.
The water's a bit cold.

- Come on, let's have a swim.
- No, I'm going. I'm cold. See you.

No! Hey, where are you going?
Get me down!

- Bye!
- Wait! No!

- Bye.
- No, don't leave me here.

I have to go home, you can't...
You can't leave me here!

Get me down!
No, you can't leave me here!

Don't leave me here. No!

I've found you!
I've been waiting for you.

Dirty thief, come down!

Dirty rascal! Shame on you!

I'll show you.

Come here.

I'll take your pants off!
You'll get a beating!

That'll teach you not to steal
from people.

Come here!
I'll teach you a lesson!

Giorgio, get under the covers,
come on!

Come on, sleep now. It's early.

- Godammit!
- Come on.

I said...

Wait, hold onto him.
I need to remember my dream!

Oh, I have to hold him
so you can remember your dream!

Come here, Giorgio, be good.

Listen, you can't be a pain like this
every morning!

Wait a minute.

Stop it, you two!

Oh, stop it!
Leave me alone! Come here you.

And try to sleep, okay?

What happened?

Oh, it's the same thing
every morning, what a drag!

What happened?

- We did this! Bang!
- What did you do?

I came to you,
then I put my head like this

and then... bang!

Did you hurt yourselves?

- No, I didn't.
- Will you stop it?

- Come on, go make some tea.
- Yes.


Oh, what a drag, guys!
Every morning...

Stop it, for God's sake!
Enough! Get out!

I'd like to whack my mum
with a wooden clog!

- You're here? Wait, go outside.
- Get out!

- Where's the squirrel?
- I saw him go there.

Here... hold the box.

- Yes.
- I can't see him.

- Where?
- He's there!

You can't see anything.
It's strange that you saw a squirrel!

I can see him. Get the towel!

- Hurry, before he runs away!
- Where's the towel?

- There. Come on! Hurry up!
- Calm down!

Why are you shouting? Calm down.

We'll catch him,
there's no way out.

Just close the door.
Whenever you do these things...

I don't know,
you always get stressed.

Why don't you do it then?

- No, we'll do it together!
- Okay, don't push me! Calm down!

- Where's he gone?
- There he is!

- Get the sack! Come on...
- Wait!

- He's there, look!
- Get him, Giorgio, come on!

Get him!

Let's wait a few more days,
then we'll see...

- But he's healthy and alert.
- Yes, let's wait.

We'll set him free when we leave.
He's cute, isn't he?

Why do we have
to keep him in a cage?

All right, set him free.
What do I care?

Oh, I don't know. I wouldn't have
put him in a cage in the first place.

I'd have left the door open
so that he could get out.

- Set him free, go on.
- Shall we set him free?

Pull it down, Giorgio, go on.

There, he'll come out now.
Here he comes!

Keep it open!

Come on out! Here he comes.

Keep it open, don't frighten him.

Did you see how he jumped?
Look where he's going!

Do you know that
you're a real pain in the ass?

Every time I'm resting,
every single time,

you have to wake me up.
- You wake up by yourself.

It's not me that wakes you up,
it's you!

No, no. You wake me up
by making noise, making a din,

the kid, and this, and that...

I'm not responsible
for your nervous system.

There's more I could say...
Minor things, but they're true.

My nervous system
is perfectly fine!

The only thing I object to is being
here in Bobbio, because...

Daddy, can I have more
of what you just gave me?

- What?
- A plum?

- Get one yourself.
- They're in the kitchen.

- But who'll wash it for me?
- Wash it yourself!

- I don't know how to!
- There! I was saying

that it's not my nervous system,
it's being here in Bobbio!

It's the fact that
we've come back to Bobbio!

So why did we come then?

We need to make
a decision about this.

- There's a car coming.
- So what? They'll be going to Moglie.

It'll be some pain in the ass
who's coming here.

How can you be sure of that?
They'll be going to Moglie.

- Why would they come here?
- No, they're coming here, you'll see.

- Say it again!
- They're coming here!

"They're coming here"!

- Understood?
- What should I do to you now?

You should do fuck all, okay?

You really shouldn't be so rude.

What should I do to you?
Tell me! I should slap you.

I'm tired of being here,
do you understand? I can't take it!

Well, we came here...
So what's the problem?

Couldn't you have sold this house?

Or burn it, or let it crumble
into the river!

Calm down, calm down.
We'll sell it, we'll sell it.

"We'll sell it, we'll sell it!"

Okay, if we're selling it
let's go down to Vico,

take all the furniture away
and sell the house.

That's a matter that concerns me.

You're interfering with my business.
These matters concern me, okay?

They concern you but at the same time
they concern me too,

because I live with you, my dear.
- They concern me.

And another thing you don't get
and that you should

is that selling up doesn't just mean
selling the place and making money.

It means deciding,

and that's no small matter,
it means deciding to say goodbye

to a certain world,
to say goodbye to a certain past,

which is, in case you don't know,
one of the fundamental problems

that concern man,
you know, letting go of the past

and creating a world...
A world of one's own.

So as you can see,
this isn't so simple.

- I know, but I don't think...
- They're coming now.

Will you let me speak?
You never listen when I speak!

Don't shout.

I have to shout
because you don't listen.

You don't hear what I say.
You don't listen to me.

- I'm talking, can you hear me?
- Of course I can, but right now...

The car's coming, you deal with them.
Maybe it is Gianni Schicchi.

- Wait a minute.
- No, darling.

They're your friends,
you deal with them.



Giorgio, come to mummy!

This year is the last time
I organize the party.

- No one ever gives me a hand.
- It's always the same old people.

I bet there's no one here.

- Gisella!
- What?

- Where's Marco?
- How do I know?

Is he hiding?

I don't know, try round the back.
He's making a mess.

- We can't go on like this.
- There he is, carefree...

- He doesn't have any problems.
- Hi.

Come on, what's going on?

- Ah, forget it.
- Well?

- Just forget it!
- Are you having a row?

- Are you fighting?
- Yeah, a row! Come on, sit down.

A row, a row...

It's lots of things,
you wouldn't even understand.

I already have.
It's the same old story:

"it's mine", the feminism story,
stressing out the husbands...

Look, we need to sell this place.

- To sell...
- Really, we need to sell it.

I'm being serious!

But the price you've asked for
doesn't reflect the market value.

You want to sell it
but it's not that simple!

It's unmarketable for Bobbio.

Well, I don't know about that.

I don't want to undersell it
or sell it too fast,

but it's a cause of conflict.

We can't make a compromise.
And plus, the climate here in Bobbio...

The climate!

We came to organize a party
and you're talking about the climate.

Family arguments, family arguments!

This holiday...
It always turns into...

It's a dinner!

- Nonsense!
- You come every year...

Is eating all that matters in life?

Here all you do is eat!
Here, you eat, at all hours.

You eat in the evening,
at night, in the morning...

Salami, ham, tortelli...

All people do is eat!

But, Marco, we work all day,
so we like to relax.

We get together with friends
and find a moment to be together.

- It's not just about food!
- As long as you're happy!

Go get a bottle of wine, come on!

But I want to sell up.

Get some salami too.
We don't eat it that often...

He wants to sell up,
but it's the same old problem.

We come to see him, he argues
with his wife, he wants to sell up,

it's always the same problem.

Rome, the film industry...
Can't he relax?

I want to sell up!
No one is taking me seriously.

When I say that I want to sell up...

I want to sell up!
I'm sick to death of Bobbio!

I'll be your middle man,
but stop saying

you're sick of Bobbio,
have some respect.

Respect for what? For Bobbio?

You want to sell
for a price which is not feasible.

This is Bobbio, it's not Rome.
250 million, 200 million...

- You won't get that price.
- Well, I'm in no hurry,

I don't want to undersell it,
but I think...

I'm still not certain,
but I think that's the way forward.

I have to get out of Bobbio.

You've already seen what happened
when you sold that piece of land.

Wasn't that enough?
You saw what they did?

Yes, but that's not the problem...

It's not just a question of money.
It's a bigger problem.

Evidently, I don't know...

It's about breaking away
from your past.

So you keep saying,
but you always come back.

You come back because
you're tied to your past.

Look, this...

You want to relive those situations.
Cut it out.

This is the last year.

You have a drink too, come on.
Let yourself go for a moment.

- You only drink water!
- I have to tell you something.

Whenever we come here to visit you,
you either want to sell

or you've argued with your wife,
or you're fed up...

- Come on, really!
- What?

Just relax, let's talk about
something else.

Relax? But...

- You're obsessed.
- Well, no, hold on, the fact is

that I don't...
I mean... for example...

He has two jobs daily:

first he has to get pissed off
then he has to get "unpissed off"!

But he's not a bad kid!
He's a good kid.

You know perfectly well that
he'll spend his old age here,

just like everyone else from Bobbio!
- So you don't want me to be happy!

So you think...
I know we're joking now...

So you think that I'll retire

and come here to spend my old age?
- Do you wanna bet?

Let's go, it's late.
We still have loads to do.

- The water will be cold now.
- You'll be cold too.

Look at the fish jumping. Look!

The water's cold now.

Every time I take my trousers down,
it gets caught.

Go get the soap.

Watch out, I'm coming!

Come on!

Look how he's become...

For God's sake,
just shut your mouth!

Damn you!

Let's go home, come on.

A beautiful youth!

The mouth... of the girl
who had lain in the grove of reeds

looked all chewed.
When with my long knife,

I cut the tongue and palate,
I found in a nest under the arbor

a litter of young mice.
A young sister had died.

The one spent down there
had been a beautiful youth,

eating liver and kidneys,

and their beautiful death
came quickly too.

We threw them into
a bucket of water.

Ah, the cute little beasts,
how they squeaked!

Here, here.

- Here.
- Thanks, is it water?

- No, it's wine.
- I'm glad you brought it,

because that smoke
dried my eyes out...

And my mouth!

Tonight you'll sleep with me!

If in bed you are my bride,
in the garden you are my rose.

When I kissed you I get a shock,
a shock of love for you.

And you'll have it...

And you'll have it up your ass!

And you'll have it...

You'll pay for everything!

You'll have it up your ass!

- You'll pay for everything!
- Hey, enough!

So the second one is more diluted.

No, it's not more diluted.
It's like something that's finished.

So it doesn't have much
of an effect on you then.

It does! The second one affects me
more than the first,

but it takes three or four
to have more of an effect.

Three are better than one!

So, now that you've been drinking
for twelve days, how do you feel?

The same as before.

- Why should I start over?
- Every morning, basically...

This morning he had
a bit of a headache,

he said with two glasses
of white wine it went away.

That's normal because if someone
is used to drinking white wine

they'll miss it if they don't have any.
It's like their bread.

You're right, wine is important.

Well, yes, it can be important.

For someone who likes it,
it's like women.

When we don't have any,
we're missing our daily bread.

- So you're comparing wine to women?
- Not for everyone.

For someone who likes it,
wine is like bread. Or women.

- You know what they say in Bobbio?
- What do they say?

Women here don't do it
with guys from Bobbio.

They do it with priests
and Carabinieri.

They only do it
with priests and Carabinieri!

Did you hear what they say?

I've never been with a woman,
here in Bobbio.

And they say I'm a ladies' man.

- He's drunk, you can't talk about...
- Did you hear what he said?

They're drunk, we're all drunk tonight.
It doesn't matter...

It's the truth, they don't do it
with guys from Bobbio.

Only with priests and Carabinieri.

- We need to get some foreign girls.
- Right, foreign girls!

We need to bring some life
to this town!

Nothing ever happens here, nothing.

What a drag, what a drag, what a drag.

This is no time to be
talking bullshit!

It's poetry...

You're saying this crap
in the midst of this chaos?

- What a drag, what a drag!
- No one understands you!

- You, Jerry, you're young!
- Exactly.

I have a young spirit.

You should have kept
your young spirit,

instead now you have...

You have a young spirit,
but there's nothing in your spirit.

There's nothing in my spirit,
but what's in yours?

- Even less, it's old!
- Exactly.

That's what I wanted you to say:
there's even less!

- It's a bit old, you see.
- Right, exactly, it's stale...

- Whatever...
- Do you want to drink?

Go on, give me a drop.
Do you want to sell the house?

I don't know, I'm a bit fed up.


- It's nice.
- It's nice, yes. It's very nice.

- It's nice here.
- I was born here, in San Martino.

- Where were you born?
- Here in San Martino, at the inn.

- Really?
- Right near your house.

I've spent my whole life here.
On that cherry tree there.

Are you nuts?

That cherry tree has been my life.
I climbed it looking for cherries.

- Did you? I see.
- As kids, we were always here.

- We called it "the little farm".
- Ah, yes, of course.

- Let's have another drink.
- I already had another earlier.

So why are we here then?

- One last toast.
- One last toast!

Everyone's asleep! Do an impression
of someone, let's have some fun...

I don't know, maybe a friend
of yours from Bobbio?

She drenched me!

My goodness, what's she done?
This isn't even my jacket!

If you'd done it before,
it would have been funny,

but now it's just stupid.

Turn that way when you're talking!

If you'd done it before...

- Listen, this jacket isn't mine.
- No, it's just that...

Tremble with fear,
the witches are back!

- Nonsense!
- You'll pay for everything!

Shit! Fuck off!

You'll pay for everything!

Oh, godammit, I've had enough!

You're talking nonsense.
The witches are not back!

What the hell
are they talking about?

Oh, where is a deep sea
where one can drown?

This is our tired lament

in shallow marshes
just a few centimeters deep.

Nothing ever happens here, nothing.

The air is leaden and damp.

Oh Lord, send us the plagues,
destroy the fields,

burn the harvested crops,
destroy the villages and forests,

for we are fat and sick
and we want to die.

One, two, three, ready, go!

Go, Giorgio!
Come on, you can do it!

Giorgino, Giorgino, Giorgino!

- Where shall I put this?
- Listen, let's also do...

- Let's also do...
- Where did I put mine?

Shall we put stones around here too?

Paolo! Don't dig your stupid hole!

They're always hungry here.
People in Bobbio just think of food.

- You either sunbathe...
- Salami, bread, salami...

Whenever I come here I get fat!
All I do is eating.

- We've all got fatter.
- Anyhow, the children...

They're fine,
they've got a good appetite.

Right! Are you saying
that adults don't? I don't understand!

There's always a dinner,

more eating, and eating,
"see you for dinner, for lunch"...

Talking of dinners,
don't we organize the dinner this year?

I don't know, you tell me.
Don't we organize the dinner?

It doesn't matter,
we had one the other night!

That was for your birthday,
the mid-August dinner is a tradition.

- How many of us came to that dinner?
- It's a tradition.

- About forty of us.
- Wow! Forty people, all eating.

The grilled swordfish was very good.

- The meat skewers were good too.
- Very good.

- So were the peppers.
- Every year it's the same thing.

- We always talk about food!
- If we don't have one,

we'll ask ourselves:
"Aren't we going to have one?"

- We've done other things.
- Of course. This is a good thing.

Dinner is an opportunity to be together,
but we can get organized

and do something else.
- We need to stop talking then!

- There's Stefanino behind us...
- One more month...

- Really, what a drag!
- Why do you say that?

Every afternoon at the river,
the usual things, the children there...

That's not true, this year
we did something different.

Hold on, you come to Bobbio
to relax too, don't you?

But look: we were supposed
to organize a dinner,

but since I don't have any ideas,
so we won't have it!

We don't want to do
the same dinner as last year.

Exactly, let's do something else!

It's just a dinner,
there's nothing innovative about it.

But last year we did some great things:
the ghost scene, the theatre scene...

There's always been
something different every year,

but this year, this is how it is,
we don't know why...

Go away!

Go away!

Gege! Tell Gisella
to meet me on Berlina beach.


My goodness, help!

Kira, go a bit further away!

- It's cold!
- Are you cold?

There's no sign of your father.

- Where's my daddy?
- How do I know?

- Wait...
- Put it on your foot.

Instead of on your hands,
let's put them on your feet.

- I've got giant feet now!
- Oh, poor giant foot!

Come here, Kira...
Don't get wet again.

- Now I can't walk!
- Let's see the giant foot...

No, it's fine now!
Look who's coming. There.

You jerk!
I've been waiting hours for you!

I've been waiting hours for you
to finish doing what you want!

- Is that so?
- You jerk!

- Did you learn that from mummy?
- Yes.

- Yes?
- Ah, I see!

- That's not true, you didn't.
- I knew it.

You really are a jerk, Bellocchio.

- Why?
- You're a real jerk, damn you!

- You, your dinghy and your cave!
- Are we going?

- Are we going?
- What?

- Are we going?
- I think so.

- Give me a T-shirt.
- Wait, you have to help me.

- What do you want?
- I'm not helping!

Giorgio, take these giant feet!

- Do you need a towel?
- Yes.

- Giorgio... Giorgio!
- How was the kid?

Fine. Take the giant feet.

If you don't help me,
I'm not going to eat with you!

Just leave him.
Can I have a T-shirt?

Are you angry?

Look, don't say a word.

- No...
- Not even a word!

- What do you mean?
- Silence.

- What do you mean?
- Neither of us must say a word.

What do you mean?

Let's not say a word then.
I won't and you won't either...

We won't say a word.

That's a good idea, for both of us.

- This is wet, you can keep it.
- Did the kid have a good time?

- Did he have a good time?
- Yes, he did.

- Giorgio!
- Giorgio! We both called him!

Giorgio, come here.
Help me, I can't do this on my own.

- Come on, it's nearly done! Gio!
- Come on, let's go.

- Come on!
- Hey! Calm down, okay?

- Come on!
- Calm down. Calm down.

Okay? Watch out, Marco.
Nice and quiet, no talking,

but respect others
like I respect you.

Are you angry?

Let's go, Kira.

Help, get me down from here!

I don't want
to stay up here forever.

Help, get me down! Help!

It'll be night soon,
I don't want to stay here! Help!

Get me down!
My mother's waiting for me, help!

You can't leave me here,
come back!