Use Me (2019) - full transcript

Rose!

Hey.

I didn't know
who else I could call.

God, what's wrong?

I'm at the airport.

I don't know what to do.

I don't know if I should come back to
Sydney or what I should do.

I got no money.

Julian...

Let me just ask you one question.

Are you filming this?



Like, right now,
are you filming this?

All right. Speaking of
documentaries, though,

you're now venturing
onto your third feature, uh,

which is about a lady
named Ceara Lynch.

You've done your research.

Now, I did do
a little bit of research.

I was kind of...

Did you do the research
in front of your wife?

That's the question.

I did run it past her.

- A Mental?
- Humiliatrix.

- Humiliatrix.
- Mental Humiliatrix,

that's her official job title.

There are people who pay
her vast sums of money,



basically, for the
privilege of being used.

She doesn't meet any of
her clients in person.

Everything's virtual.

She's kind of living
the American dream.

That depends on your definition
of the American dream.

- What's yours?
- For me, it's pretty obvious.

If you can make a movie
that's a hit in America, you've made it.

How did you come across her
in the first instance?

Well, actually it was her idea.

She found me online
and we Skyped,

and we just hit it off
right away.

- Hi.
- Hey, bitch.

How's it goin'?

Very good, thank you.

We ended up
Skyping for hours.

She completely convinced me
to go over there.

I sold my car,

I withdrew all my savings.

People have this image in
their mind of who a person is,

and my job is to go in
there with a camera

and find the truth behind that.

I want you
to blackmail me

and threaten to tell my
boss at work my secret.

I want you take
everything from me.

Use me until I have
nothing left.

I love to get used.
You are on top.

In this business,
Ceara Lynch,

she is the gold standard.

You're a complete stranger

and you're going to explore

in a world of debauchery and insanity.

Just watch your back, man.

There's a lot of
beautiful women out there

that would never be
able to do this at all.

Oh, my God, I am so sick
of hearing you say that.

You filthy whore.

The internet is my dungeon.

Ceara completely changed my life.

And I'll have you by the balls.

I have seen her cut through men
like warm butter.

There's a fine line
between fantasy and reality.

I think I saved the best for last.

So what is the American dream?

Traditionally,
the American dream

is pulling yourself up
from the bootstraps

and making it big
on your own terms.

You can rise from the bottom
to the top in America.

It draws people in from all over
the world. I mean, look at you.

You're from Australia and you're
making a movie in America,

so I think that's proof that you're
trying to live the American dream, too.

Um...

I guess, what I'm saying
is good luck.

And I really hope you find
what you're looking for.

How you feeling?

- Nervous?
- Little bit.

You don't ever look nervous.

That beard just
masks your emotions.

I know, you can't see
it behind the beard.

All right.

So, pretty much, just don't
ever cut and it'll be fine.

- Okay.
- Yeah, just keep rolling.

- Hello.
- Hey!

- How are you?
- Good, you made it.

- I got my guy with me.
- Hey.

- How are you?
- Good.

- Nice to see you.
- Yeah, you too.

- Here.
- Thank you.

I don't really drink
at the moment, but that's...

- Ah, you'll drink today.
- Okay, whatever you say.

Let's go feed my chickens.

My backyard.

So we got, the two
black and white ones

are Amelia and Bodelia.

We got the white one,
that's Cruella.

Betty is the yellow one.
Goldy Hen.

And Miss America is the Americana.

So you want to see the house?

We got my bedroom.

This is my office space.

And this room is where
all the magic happens.

Get your ass all nice
and ready for me.

If you didn't have money,

I wouldn't even spit
in your general direction.

Do you understand?

So, basically, a guy emails me,

tells me his fantasy,

and I make it come to life.

What are you looking for, hmm?

My dirty panties again?

Your wife doesn't know
anything about you.

Eat another human being.

Do you want to be my dog?

From inside the cage, you give
me female hormone injections.

I'd love to see you forcibly
make a guy turn gay

by Pavlovian conditioning.

You breaking my ribs
with a baseball bat.

This guy, I think has
like cinematic movies

going on in his head when
he masturbates.

Are you wearing
panties right now?

Because I haven't talked
to you in such a long time.

You're the most amazing thing in my
life.

- Yeah, I believe that.
- I want to jerk off.

Better not crash, better
keep your eye on the road.

I sell panties, socks,
shoes, pantyhose,

toenail clippings,
used Kleenex, piss,

used hair from my hair brush.

So, I sold my shit recently
to a guy for $4,000,

and I was a little worried
because I don't know

the legalities
around shipping waste.

So I emailed my lawyer,

but he was really cool about it.

- He said...
- That's genius!

And it really, to me,
it's a triumph of capitalism

and really one of
those things where,

uh... you know,

from an entrepreneurial spirit,

really, just adds to the
American dream in a certain way.

So I have what's
called my Ignore Line.

Guys will call, um...

Have fun.

...and I put them on hold.

And as long as they
stay on the line,

I get paid $5 a minute.

So, Financial Domination is basically

where guys literally get off
on giving a woman their money.

The most I've ever had
anyone spend was $20,000

and it was a guy,
he was watching me on Skype,

and he set up a Saks
Fifth Avenue account.

He put in all the credit
card information,

all of his information,
and then he gave me the login.

And then the session was
just him watching me shop.

You know, I was telling him,
"Oh, I'm
going to buy this Prada handbag.

I'm going to buy this Burberry coat,"

and just racking up his bill.

He loved that I was
using his credit card.

I have a degree in psychology,

so I'm curious about how
the human mind works

and sexuality has
always fascinated me.

The Diamond Experience isn't
really something I do for money.

It's just part of my
research on male sexuality.

So, if a guy comes
to me with an issue

and I think I can help him,

we'll start to talk.

Every case is different.

So that could mean
I act as their therapist

or it could be like a role-play.

Sometimes, I set up
these fantasy scenarios.

All right, showtime.

Whatever it takes.

I would probably have
trouble getting off

if it weren't for her.

I think I would have far
worse erectile dysfunction.

And now I'm actually able
to function normally in everyday life.

I used to have a problem with intimacy.

But because of Ceara,
the problem's gone.

Yeah, I just pay
attention, you know?

Because, at the end of the day,

these are all male desires.

These aren't my desires.

And I've just been
doing it so long

that I know, like,
what seems to work.

So, what are your
absolute hard limits?

I don't get naked on camera,

I don't have sex on camera,
and I don't do sessions in real life.

My whole brand is supposed
to be that I'm unattainable.

That guys aren't worthy
of seeing me naked.

I'm holier than thou.
I'm a goddess.

So if I were to get naked,
that's giving something up.

- Hello!
- Hey, guys.

- I'm Julian.
- Hi.

What up?

How you doing? Nice to meet you.

Everybody knows Ceara.
Everybody that's in this part

- of that industry knows who Ceara is.
- Mm-hmm.

- Gotcha.
- Yep.

You were about to say,
she's a little bit like

- her character, you think?
- Oh, oh, shh,

yeah, I just feel like
there's just something else

in there that's just,
yeah, I don't know.

- Satan, it's Satan.
- Yeah.

In fact, I bet there's
a 666 right behind her ear.

- I'm pretty sure.
- No.

- I told you.
- No, I'm just glad I'm on
her good side.

That's what I meant to say.

- Really? Wow.
- I'm on her good side. We're good.

Are we having fun yet?

Show him how
it's done, please?

- Oh, my gosh, no.
- What, you didn't like that?

That was weak.

Jesus Christ!

What's going on? Oh, God!

- Woo!
- Okay.

Here you go.

When she was about 16,

I mean, I knew
she was making money,

and I didn't know where
she was getting her money from.

I came home from work one day

and here on the
dining room table

is this Manila envelope
with something in it,

addressed to somebody
in Florida.

So I open it up and
she was selling panties,

and I got really upset.

So I did what any dad would do.

I threw her panties away,

I put a dirty pair of my
underwear in with her note,

sealed 'em up, and mailed them
off to the guy.

Once I figured out
that she was safe,

that people can't find her,

and there's firewalls, you know.

It's all through telephone
or on the internet.

There's no actual
meeting people.

Okay, yeah, it sounds pretty...

You know, I would've preferred
brain surgeon,

but, you know.

Yeah, just kind of a normal
American suburb upbringing.

Yeah, money was really
tight when I was born.

The first house that I lived at
was a trailer park, actually.

1702.

I actually have nothing
but happy childhood memories.

And after the trailer park,

I lived in this
farmhouse for a while.

But it's all abandoned now.

Yeah, I think I had
a very different idea

of what my future
would be back then.

A few things
I remember growing up,

Jehovah Witnesses, they don't
believe in Heaven or Hell.

They believe that there's
an Armageddon coming,

and it's coming really soon.

And that's going to basically
wipe out everyone

that isn't a Jehovah Witness.

And then Paradise comes after

to everyone that
follows Jehovah.

So we tried for a while
with the idea of kids,

you should give 'em some
sort of foundation,

but we lost faith in the
organization and then left.

So I was away on vacation with
my parents at Cobble Beach.

So there were two boys and me.

And I can't remember what
our parents were doing,

but me and the boys
were left alone.

And one of the guys had, uh,

like, a dirty magazine,
like a Hustler.

He showed us this page
of these two beautiful,

glamorous women, uh,
sucking each other's toes.

And...

I look at his pants
and he's getting hard.

I mean, it was under his pants,

but I had never really seen
an erection in person.

Right as I saw his penis,

the earth started shaking.

And I totally freaked out.

I started thinking about Armageddon.

And I just, like,
booked it out the door.

I just ran, and I just
saw this light,

like this really
bright white light.

I thought at the time that
it was the light of Jehovah

and, um, that I was running
towards Paradise.

I realized it was, uh,
just the lighthouse

and waited it out until
the earth stood still again.

It wasn't even, like,
a serious earthquake,

but, uh, it was
just crazy timing.

It really freaked me out.

Never told anyone that before.

- Exclusive!
- Yeah!

Is there ever any risk
with these
fantasies that are more extreme

that you're going to go too far?

No, I would never do anything

that I wasn't asked to do.

The illusion is that
I'm the one in control.

But, really, they're
telling me what do to.

It's very clear what they want

and that's exactly
what I give 'em.

I think it's really important
to draw a distinction

between a fetish
and an addiction.

A fetish is something abnormal

that gets you off sexually.

It's called a paraphilia.

It literally means you
have a sexual attraction

to non-sexual things.

An addiction on the other hand,
is a compulsive behavior

that's unhealthy or
disruptive to your life.

Let's say you get off
on women's shoes.

It's not something that most
people find sexually arousing,

so it's considered a fetish.

However, if you start going
into women's shoe stores,

stealing high heels, and taking them
home to masturbate over them?

- That's an addiction.
- If I get the
sense that a guy really has

an addiction and is ruining his life,

then I do feel some
responsibility to help him.

After a while,
it's not very fulfilling

just getting guys off.

What I really find satisfying is

if I feel like
I've truly helped them

in a way that
they can't help themselves.

For me, it's
more than a sexual outlet.

I know that what
she does offers release.

So perhaps it has some
psychological value.

Perhaps, it has some therapy.

I didn't even
know I was addicted.

I didn't know you
could be addicted

to what I was addicted to.

You know, a lot of guys
have these desires

that they can't
share with, you know,

their wife or their
girlfriend or, you know.

I and anyone else
who is in my profession

are pretty much the only people
that really hear about it.

I've basically carvedM a niche
helping men with strange addictions.

For instance, I had this one guy
who couldn't put his smartphone down

without having a panic attack.

I had another guy
who was addicted

to being kicked in
the balls to the point

where he might not be
able to have kids.

I got a rush out of that.

That was, like, a thrill.

Well, we all know
about drug addiction.

But addiction to behavior

or addiction to inanimate objects

can be quite
compelling for people.

So if you have tried
everything else,

maybe your best bet is
an Online Humiliatrix

with a psychology degree.

I'm feeling good.

I'm feeling like
my instincts were right.

That she is an amazing subject
and has a lot of complexity.

More than I thought originally.

Oh, my God.

Just beautiful.

You know, at least I get paid
for filming myself.

- What's your excuse?
- What do you mean, what's my excuse?

- You're always filming yourself.
- Yeah, what's wrong with that?

Why do you do it?

- Well.
- It's kind of narcissistic.

Oh, and being a cam girl
isn't narcissistic?

Again, I get paid for it.

I wouldn't be doing it if
I wasn't bringing money for it.

All right, well...

And it kind of sucks

'cause I'm meant to be going
back to Australia soon,

but I kind of don't
want to leave.

I feel like there's so
much more to this story.

- Road trip!
- Woo-hoo!

I mean, I don't think
I've ever met anybody like her.

She's...

...she's really special.

But I've already used all my
savings just getting this far.

What do you think about doing
a Kickstarter campaign?

Yeah, I'd be down.

Yeah, we could just
keep shooting.

I don't have to leave.

- I like money.
- I like money, too.

Money's good.

Oh, my project is launched!

Yeah!

How much are you going to pledge?

- $100.
- All right, let's see it.

So it's essentially a documentary about

- what we're talking about here.
- Yeah, about me.

- Yeah, focused on me.
- About humiliation.

About how these guys want you
to do these things to them.

- Exactly.
- And threaten them.

And refresh. Oh, look at that!

82 backers, 11,344!

Good boy!

Yeah.

- Holy shit!
- There's 24 hours to go,
we're still $7,000 short.

If we don't reach our target,
the film is not getting made.

Have you seen the Kickstarter?

Like, in the past 15 minutes?

So, this guy is willing to put
$7,500 in the Kickstarter

if we do a make-out video.

That's it, just kissing.

I'd do that for free.

Can you believe that?

- Ha!
- Hello.

Hello. I brought wardrobe options.

- How are you doing, nervous?
- I'm a little anxious.

- How are you feeling?
- Fine.

- Yeah, I could see that.
- It's not my first rodeo.

Okay, I have this guy's notes,

his requests here.

- He has a cuckolding fetish.
- Okay.

So he likes seeing me with
guys that are hotter than him.

- Okay.
- Do not do five seconds of
tongue sucking.

That is too short.

Please make it much longer.

That's ridiculous.

I know, it's stupid.

God.

Can you handle this?

Yeah, I can handle this.

All right.

'Kay, testing one, two, three.

Testing one, two, three.

Okay... this is good.

All right, um, so you don't need
to worry about saying anything.

I'll start it and then
we'll just start kissing,

- and so you can take me lead.
- Okay.

Easiest job in the world.

Hi, there.

I have quite a little treat
for you, my little cuck.

I have, right here, a real man.

And I'm going to have
some fun with him

while you sit there and wank
your tiny little dick,

wishing that you could
be a part of it.

But, hey, you can, right?

You get to pay for it.

Enjoy.

Hi.

Fuck me.

Well, he got quite a show.

We're not sending that to him.

No, definitely not.

That would ruin my career.

- Question.
- Yes?

Um, is this going to be
weird afterwards,

like, with the movie
and everything?

I'm fine but I don't know.

- No, I'm fine.
- Okay, okay.

You carry this thing
everywhere, don't you?

I do.

I love this little camera.

- It's my thing.
- Yeah.

I've done it for a long time.

All guys have their thing.

What's the first thing
you remember recording?

I got my first camera when
I was nine years old.

- Like, a VHS?
- It was a little VHS
camera that my mum gave me.

In the filming of this
week's documentary.

I wanted to be a documentary maker.

Until next week, this is
Julian Shaw saying, "Adios."

- I just started filming everything, you
know?
- Yeah.

Intellectually stimulating.

I actually made little
documentaries in my house.

Yeah, of what?

About my cats.

The unaware and unsuspicious cat.

- Your cats?
- Yeah.

Oh, my God, I want
to see that so bad.

No one gets to see that.

No!

Oh, the video camera?

No, don't worry, that's not on.
Outrageous!

Okay, cut!

- Mm.
- Yeah.

Aw.

That was actually
a pretty fucked up period

in my life, to be honest with you.

- Why?
- Um...

My parents went away a lot for work,

and I'd go and stay
with my mum's sister

for like a month at a time.

I haven't really told many
people about this actually.

- Yeah?
- Basically, I just have this memory

that I always go back to
where I'm lying in bed and I'm shaking.

I'm so scared, like,
I'm going to pee my pants.

And I'm just waiting for
the sound of the door opening.

It happened a couple of times
before I got the idea

to hide a camera in my room.

- Wait, so did you, like, record her?
- Mm-hmm.

What did she do to you?

She had violent fantasies
that probably came from her own life..

I Still don't know. She used me,
she used me to act them out.

It was the worst
night of my life,

but it was the best
thing I've ever shot.

That is as real,
and ugly, and raw, and...

terrible as life gets,
and I actually recorded it.

And I think that was the moment
that I decided that I could make

a documentary out of my own life.

I just needed to keep filming
the most dramatic moments.

Sorry, I missed the first part.
Can you
say that again from the beginning?

I've been doing this for so long now

that I can't imagine
ever stopping.

- Hi!
- Hello!

- You're out the front.
- I am out the front.

Is it you that eager?

That eager?

- Are you filming me?
- Yeah.

I got these for you.

As much as I liked
recording the nice moments.

How beautiful!

I was always more
drawn to the pain and the fights.

You know, that was the best footage.

It was just so much better when
I could create some drama.

Turn it off!

If it upsets you that much,

if I'm so fucking strange,

then fine, whatever,
you know, that's just...

Stop it!

I'm sorry.

I like to film stuff

that someone else would
have stopped recording.

I want to be the person
who doesn't stop.

And when I realized that
my girlfriend of ten years

was about to break up
with me, I was thinking,

"I'd better get
an angle on myself,

'cause this is going to be gold."

If I give you the camera,
can you just keep recording?

Yeah.

Did you turn off the record?

You want to check Kickstarter
and see if this guy has paid us?

Yeah, yeah.

You can put that thing down.

- Can I?
- What you're doing.

Well, don't stop recording.

Okay, uh, just put it right here?

- Mm-hmm.
- All right.

Let's see.

- We're finished.
- We're done?

29,846, it feels so good!

Yes!

We can celebrate with my friends.

Oh, there you go!

Whoa, that's good.

- Oh, boy.
- Hello.

Someone's frisky.

Ooh.

Come here.

What's the safe word, Julian?

I can't remember.

- Are you still breathing?
- Yeah.

You're so fucking beautiful, Ceara!

Shouldn't they be paying you
if they're really into it?

- They're actually paying you, right?
- Right.

Yeah!

Living the American dream.

You should smack her pussy again.

- Yeah.
- Ooh!

Whoa!

- How you doing?
- Morning.

Who do I talk to about
pushing the, um, checkout back?

The present balance of $628.73,

all of which is
available for use.

Dude, don't worry about it.

It's just money, it'll be fine.

You had a good time.

Okay, you know, we were celebrating,
you know, Kickstarter,

- and we were celebrating...
- Yeah.

...that milestone
and, you know, that's great.

You've got to celebrate things,

but I think we kind
of have to say

that, you know, we can't really
do that again.

I guess we'll drive back.

It will be fine.

It's good, it's all good.
I'm honestly not that worried about it.

>> At the roundabout, take the second
exit to US-101.