Upon the Shadow (2017) - full transcript
Nada Mezni Hafaiedh's Upon the Shadow follows the life of former Femen member Amina Sboui and the community of LGBTQ friends she houses in her Tunisian home. Offering unparalleled insight into life following the Arab spring, social persecution, and political struggle, from a queer perspective. Dive into the stories of Amina's strong and enchanting group of LGBTQ loves and comrades: Sandra, Ramy, Ayoub and Atef, as they bond and build queer community against a backdrop of global trauma and struggle.
You're filming already?
You ok!
This is for all the Arab women
who've been stoned in the world.
In your book you talk about
events that made you a militant...
We mustn’t judge people
by their appearance,
but on their experience that
led them to be what they are.
This is what I’ve learned,
appearances are deceptive.
Good morning Amina.
They are filming shit!
You kidding me!
Seriously Amina do my hair before.
Tell them to go right
now we’re not yet ready.
Do my hair.
Tell them to go.
I don't want to look
ugly in your documentary.
Miss stop filming us!
Asshole, do myself my hair!
Not now, after my coffee and cigarette.
Miss, don’t film me I am not ready.
Step back please otherwise
I will break your camcorder.
Please.
The first action that i saw was in Paris.
It was in solidarity with arab women.
I felt,
concerned...
Especially that their slogans were:
« Muslim women get naked »
« against sexual industry »
« Our God is woman »
« Our mission is protest »
« Our weapons are our breasts ».
Outright, these slogans...
Took me over.
I saw myself in their place.
Each time I saw a picture
I felt involved.
When I got older...
I realized that I became tolerant...
Not from Femen, but from jail.
That’s why I am no longer Femen.
In jail,
there isn’t only torture,
imprisonment or belittlement.
Each day, there is new funny stories.
The fact that we were...
locked and deprived from lots of things,
lets us invent laughter.
Stop...
Enough...
You should suffer to look beautiful.
I feel that you are messing up
with my face. You feel womanly?
Yes.
Now,
put right your wig.
Hold on.
You should do the tucking.
Why? I will put a skirt!
- You have to, it is essential.
Did you do the tucking?
Yes, but I am not used to it.
Mum taught me
good manners in her way...
No not in her way
but in the society manners.
How people perceive good manners.
« Don’t go with guys »,
« Don’t wear tight pants »,
« No lipstick »,
« No short skirt »,
« No bare back »,
« No sexy cloths»,
« At the beach swim with a t-shirt ».
For her if I obey all these rules...
I will be the example of the perfect girl.
It is not even for me...
It is for the society.
And of course to find Mr. Right
so i can hide my bad reputation.
Stop.
Stop with your silliness.
What?
I know that you’re not feeling good.
You are the only person who is left for me,
since my family pushed me out.
Sweetheart.
What’s wrong?
What!
You’ve never been beaten or insulted?
Who has never been beaten in Tunisia!
By the cops or strangers.
Yes I know but we have to...
We have to do something to stop this.
Gays can’t lodge a complaint.
If they do they risk big.
Bring a lawyer.
A lawyer you're serious! -Yes...
Starting from June you can hire a lawyer.
They want to give us the shaft.
Because we don’t have
the right to a complaint...
Bullshit!
I was at home,
an activist LGBT friend called me
to participate on a photo shot
for her master degree about LGBT rights.
I told her fine ok.
We called another guy
activist in the LGBT community
to participate with us
at the photo shooting.
I didn’t know what was it about exactly.
She only told me it's
about the LGBT rights,
so I thought she wants a
photo of an injured man...
We‘d started shooting next to the dome.
She told me to kiss my friend.
I thought she was kidding,
but then I was pretty fine with the idea
We’d started shooting.
When I was kissing him,
we were about to get caught by a cop.
Right on I put my arm around his neck
as if we were posing
for a fashion shooting.
Like models.
Homosexuality is a crime in Tunisia
as well as love.
The fact of living as you
are... Is a crime in Tunisia.
It's unfair!
I didn't choose to live like this.
But circumstances lead me to it.
I dont know if it's my fault my
family’s fault, my mum, my dad...
My mother who kept me
always at the hairdresser salon,
who used to put me in
make up, henna, tatou...
My father payed more
attention to my oldest brother.
I was small, I did not understand anything.
But I remember all that
I have been through.
My fatal beauty
breaks men’s hearts...
Oh yes...
Deadly glare.
Sexy lips!
It's time for the tucking
and my extensions
and there we go.
-You have a problem? -You’re not ashamed!
-Mind your own business! -You are men!
It's not your problem!
Right now
let me show you
my magic trick.
The tucking is done!
Nothing is seen!
It’s called tucking.
I will kick your fucking ass.
Are you alright?
Why are you doing this?
We are filming.
- What are guys doing, shit!
- Cut, cut!
Am I the first woman
who got naked in Tunisia?
Top models,
actresses of cinema...
Didn’t you notice them?
Oh because they have
no message to transmit!
Because nothing is
written on their bodies...
Because I am telling
you words that hurt...
Because the body of
woman doesn’t belong to her.
That’s what you hope... Fuck off!
A woman who is beaten
up by her fucking husband...
The first question that her family asks...
Why did he beat you?
What did you do to him?
When mom... uh
Mom...!?
When a woman is raped...
They ask her: "What were you wearing?"
'What path have you taken?'
'Why did you go out at night?'
We are not allowed right, that is it!
Have you ever asked a fucking man
why he fucking raped her...!
I'm leaving Nada!
Hi Amina.
Hi, how are you, fine?
Did you finish writing the Novel?
Still working on it, not regulary...
because i've been busy working on
the law 230 of the criminal code.
It's not what we agreed in the contract,
the crew here is waiting for you to finish
so they can start their work!
We can extend the deadline... it's doable.
No it's not possible, you have
to respect the delivery date.
We've provided you all your
needs, including your rent.
You live comfortably, to my knowledge!
Fine... I am working...
And still I am not
living like a princess...
I want you to deliver
the first part corrected,
in 3 days, and the first draft of the novel
at the end of this week.
Otherwise it will be too late for me!
You know that time is money!
Alright.
- Let’s play « Never Have I Ever »?
- Ok.
I forgot how we play it.
Sandra and Noussa never played it too.
Ok, I explain...
If I say for example that,
"I have never slept with a woman,"
I won’t drink because it’s true.
And the ones who have must drink.
Shit, I think nobody is going to drink...
Ah, maybe Atef and Noussa.
-Me too... -Noussa and Ayoub also...
Never have I never prayed.
I have prayed.
- You have prayed, why you drinking?
- Yes! If you prayed, you drink!
But you said « Never have I never prayed".
"Never have I ever prayed".
So those who have never prayed don’t drink,
And those who prayed...
Drink!
Yes exactly!
Asshole! Concentrate Amina.
Sandra you’ve never prayed?
May godbless you.
Even small?
You never went to the mosque? My God!
- I never got pissed of
Amina Femen -My ass, right...
I will kill her one day!
I am never pissed at her.
Drink, drink.
Never I have ever...
Had problems with my family!
Drink, drink...
Let me see,
a woman with a penis!
Noussa hold her!
Leave me!
Amina save me!
"Why is the sea laughing"
"when I go down swagging
to fill the water jars"
"Why is the sea laughing"
"when I go down swagging
to fill the water jars"
"The sea is angry, she is not kidding..."
"cause the story isn't funny."
"The sea's wound is uncurable"
"and our wound..."
"never healed."
"Revolution to victory"
I present my tattooed body.
It’s my kind of weapon to defend freedom,
to express myself.
I have 8 photos of different women,
each one from a different country.
I defend woman whatever her color,
Or her origins...
I have an octopus,
a Citation of Frida Kahlo,
a gazelle,
a crescent.
I have Yasser Arafat,
A poem of Mahmoud Darouich,
a quote from Nietzsche,
Handala,
birds out of a cage.
A quote from Hassan Nasrallah,
a Flower,
I have...
A poem of John Lennon,
a quote from Oscar Wilde.
I have a woman repairing her car.
I have... A joker,
More than 30 tattoos.
I am coming.
Hi.
-You fine? -Thank God.
I got beaten by Arroussi
again and I need shelter.
I am not ok.
Let me see, look at me in the eyes.
He screwed up my face...
I have no where to go.
I have known Amina through Aziz my son.
One evening Aziz slept outside
My son
because of his father,
was left without study,
3 years now.
Amina met him in the street.
She asked him « why are you alone here? »
« Do you live near by? »
« Who're your parents? »
He told her that he is the
son of Arroussi, the sinner.
She knew that he was the
one who works at the port.
He spent the night at Amina's house.
The next morning,
Aziz came back with a leather jacket,
a scarf,
and 20 dinars in his pocket.
I asked him from where
did you get the money?
He said to me that
Amina gave me everything.
Dont be afraid, next time go to the police!
It' s not fair!
Where is he?
Where is he sitting?
There in the dirt!
This is not normal!
-He is drunk... -Arroussi?!
Look at all these beers...
- Why have you beaten her again?
- Mind your own business!
Be careful, he is violent!
Leave me!
Leave me I want to
give him a good spanking!
He had broken my hand,
I had a plaster
for about 3 months.
Enough, stop!
Go!
Enough, enough!
Call the police!
Enough, we are the Culprits!
Son of the bitch,
old-fashioned, misfortune!
Since she is with you you fucked her life!
Motherfucker! You bastard!
Come here if you dare, i
will kick the shit out of you!
Yeah really, we'll see.
For me, good manners
is not to leave a poor starving
it's about how much
you're able to give to others.
It ain't about how much
you're willing to give to yourself,
the image of the perfect girl
so at the end you find 10
guys willing to marry you.
Go Dance!
Let me put lipstick on you!
Turns round...
We took good revenge on your behalf.
What has marked me the most,
that remains in my heart since forever...
The day that my father,
burned me with his cigarette,
on my chest.
Because I was wearing a Col "V" sweater.
He asked me, why are you
wearing this kind of sweater.
I told him that mum bought it for me.
He had a fight with my mum.
Then, he torn the sweater on me
and crushed his cigarette on my chest.
The scar of the burning still appears,
on my heart.
Each time that I change my cloths, take
a shower, or look at myself in a mirror.
I wonder why...
He has burned me with his cigarette.
He could have come and talked to me gently
without violence.
My mother has neglected
my sisters to take care of me.
She said to me:
I want you to wipe my tears,
and to hold strong to finish your studies.
She suffered for me, she suffered a lot.
That’s why I can't say that she’s wrong.
Because she was always there for me.
My father beat me.
When he fell asleep,
she came to comfort me.
Telling me that she will always
be by my side, whatever happens...
She spoiled me a lot,
in the hope that I will
not abandon my studies.
She said that despite what is said,
I will look at them in
the eye and tell them:
"my son is gay,
but he is at a higher
level in his studies."
I feel guilty, I have not
been able to achieve her wish.
She is suffering, she
does'nt sleep at night...
My fear is that she will die
without realizing her wish.
I have studied and arrived
at a certain level, but still.
I would have liked to be at
the height of her expectations,
to give her my salary.
I would have liked to give her
all the money she spent on me.
This is not a question of money...
But, the fact that she
thinks all the time of me.
Even here, she calls me at
3 am, 4 am, I do not answer.
I do not answer because I
am ashamed of her and myself.
All the mums are sleeping.
Mine, because of me,
spent sleepless nights.
She is asleep.
I've spent a whole month asleep.
I will never forgive my mother.
That is not the way to
take care of her daughter.
Each time that I wake up
she gives me sleeping pills...
If she was worried about me,
she wouldn't be giving me
drugs to kill me or poppy...
This is all about that picture.
Sometimes I want to speak
to God and I hear him...
And that he answers me.
I am sick of life.
Sick of everything. Sick of myself!
Even the house we are living in
seems to me as a prison.
When we hear about other misfortunes,
We forget ours.
It's destiny, God's will
"Tomorrow is a new day,
my daughter will go to
school, and I am proud of her".
"My daughter is brave
she goes to school."
"My daughter is brave
there is no better than her..."
Ramy is crying, he's affected by the song.
Ramy please stop.
Amina tell them to stop filming.
Stop Filming please!
You'll get ill.
Everything will be fine...
Step them back away,
they want to film everything!
We can't ever hide to our Mother,
our homosexuality.
But the day where...
She has evidence that her son is gay...
She changes 180 degrees!!!
When you do your coming out,
and you confront her,
or she has proofs,
she will be against you.
Give me a cigarette.
God forgives you...
Give me a cigarette from there.
Mum insults me often now.
She treats me like a bitch.
She told me that I dishonored
my sisters and my family.
Until today, my sister envies a lot.
I received an offensive
SMS from my sister telling me
that her husband saw
the photos of the Cupola...
She told me that...
Give me a lighter...
That, « you brought me shame »
And she will divorce because of me.
Her husband isn’t even living in Tunisia.
I am a fashion designer
Even in fashion I am an activist.
I am always telling
stories through what i do.
Almost a year now, in my fashion show
I paraded on stage the gay flag.
Since this fashion show,
the problems with my parents have worsened.
I have been through a lot of pain
I use to have a very good
relation with my mum.
Until the day that my Dad...
Knew that I am gay.
My parents are divorced, but...
That’s it!
He... evicted me from home.
- I thought that mum supported me...
- It's not a problem.
I succeeded in my life,
I did all my best to be successful.
I tried to be like they wanted me to be,
but I couldn't.
I would have liked that
our families support us,
because we risk prison.
Despite that we are innocent,
like our friend Marwen,
He found himself in
prison because of an SMS.
I can find myself in prison at any time!
The cops have enough evidence against me,
Especially the pictures...
According to the Act 230,
the State holds evidence...
At any time they can fuck me in prison!
Normally, my family must support me...
It is painful when the closest ones
Leave you to die alone...
I have married sisters,
that I don’t know their house.
Except one of them...
She invited me several times...
But I know this is not good for her...
At all...
I dont know but...
It makes me feel bad...
It hurts, but I understand.
She must be ashamed of me.
If I go out smoking in her balcony...
And her neighbors recognized me,
treats me as a transvestite...
She will have trouble with her husband.
That’s why...
We are not victims.
But it hurts me the fact that...
My family has abandoned me.
Seeking another family...
That’s why I came to
live at Amina’s house...
If they try to kill me here...
What will I do? Leave
Tunisia, seek asylum...
If my mother dies...
My sister, or a close person is ill...
I will not be able to return
back if they need me...
If I leave for asylum...
They take my passport...
I wish this boat would take
me far away from here...
Where nobody recognizes me...
Where i will be able to
live my life peacefully.
And shuts every slanderous mouth up.
Where there isn't any person
who knows that I am a man.
I hope that everyone minds their business.
That I could live a quiet life...
live in peace...
Amina what’s wrong with you?
She doesn’t support all this shit!
She's sensitive!
Amina come on...
When I was in jail, a woman kissed me.
It means that I'm a lesbian? No.
But I say it to offend the fundamentalists
who often Ask: Is Amina a lesbian or not?
I am pro-gay.
But our society is homophobic.
And homophobia is a serious disease,
in Tunisia, in the Arab World
and in the entire world.
"Equality"
Please stop Amina...
Fucking enough, it is too much...
Wake up Amina...
You cannot film today.
Amina is not doing well.
We spent a crappy night.
She harmed herself badly.
Wait I will see with Ayoub.
Ayoub!
Yes...
Come...
They came to film, what do we do?
It’s not everyday!
Yes.
You shouldn’t open the door.
You want to shoot all the time or what!
The girl is not feeling
well and you want to film...
Good morning.
What’s going on?
Amina slit her wrists
and Ramy left the House.
No, It is just a sprain.
Sandra was not aware.
I couldn't wake her up
I didn't insist, she would
have done too much.
It was around 1:00 a.m...
I was going to sleep
suddenly I heard howling.
I found her with Ramy and her hand bloodied
On top of that she put the
photo of her hand on Facebook.
It was kind of a message,
she wanted to tell us something.
What a bad game.
Why didn’t you wake me up?
Motherfuckers!
You should have put water on me to wake up!
If you were awake, what would you've done!
She already harmed herself.
I woke up in the morning, put my make up on
like nothing really happened.
To my surprise, I found her injured
And the other one run away!
Nobody can imagine you...
In a low situation, diminished...
Negative or fragile...
I have this problem since I
made the picture of Femen.
They have the impression that
I am strong, rigid, like "Rambo"!
Nobody sees your low side...
I do not know...
It is complicated...
Before I had the habit...
To slash my wrists regularly...
But now I have virtually stopped.
It's been almost a week
since I restarted this habit.
Perhaps because I am suffering more...
Ramy wanted me to let
Aziz spends the night over.
I yelled at him.
I wasn't in a situation
to let someone spend the night with me.
Ramy got pissed off so he left the house.
I play the role of the
mother and sister with her
as well as the brother sometimes...
It depends on the situation.
The thing that I admire the most in Amina,
is that she doesn't judge
people on their appearance.
She tries to know them
before she judges them.
My parents love her as well.
My father presents her to
people as his second daughter.
We live very well our friendship!
Get out please
Take your microphone,
get out of my room, asshole.
Hold, goodbye and good night.
I am not kidding get out of here!
Motherfuckers!
Get out!
Even in the difficult moments,
I don't cry...
I cry only when i see others suffering,
or when watching a sad film several times.
I am sensitive to stories other than mine.
Despite that I have been
through many bad experiences.
When I was four years old,
Mom goes to work at school,
and dad to the hospital.
They left me with our neighbor.
Her son in his twenties, used to...
hold us by force my sister and me...
We’ve undergone sexual manners!
Assholes!
One hand does not applaud.
Help me! Damn, the girl
is sick and you're helpless!
Always me who does the linen.
Each time Sandra does the laundry!
I am not your maid!
Sluts.
Good for nothing!
Dirty bitch!
It hurts me.
Damn, the girl is sick
and they don’t do shit.
Look at this!
It is not difficult to spread the laundry.
It is as simple as it seems.
Oh! There is wind.
Atef clean up the house at least!
Lazy sluts!
They think that being
clean is putting make up on...
Bullshit!
I thought I was going out.
Here I am out on the roof...
When the house is dirty it brings problems!
They are unaware of this fact!
Back up you bitch!
You are here?
I missed my mum,
I used to spend the night with her.
I missed her food so much,
as well as my house, my bed.
I love my sisters,
my father and my brother
no. I don't like them.
The society is unfair.
He was not allowed to live in peace.
I suffer,
if I die... Nobody will take care of him.
His sisters, married, they
have other occupations.
God forgive him.
I am ready to follow him
even if he goes abroad.
One day he will return to his true origin.
It is just a question of time and maturity.
And he will turn back as he was.
I am confident, my
heart tells me that one day
God will put him on the right path.
Save us from problems,
Keep us away from problems.
Save us from evil eyes.
Come on!
Go on Amina, do like me.
Come here, now.
I love the incense smell.
-Go ahead! -Give me some peace.
Come on, do it to avoid problems.
Pass through the incense 7 times.
Stop laughing!
Always with your tricks.
Come and do it to avoid problems.
Ok, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.
Give me, you're not serious!
No, Ramy I want to come back.
I will come and pick you up?
I am coming to bring my bride home!
Yes it's me who is paying the cab!
I am coming right now.
Say hi to Dora, and give her a big kiss.
Hi.
Can i smoke here?
My bananas!
My Banana!
You crazy you brought the camera with you!
Don’t ever leave me alone.
Kiss me.
Let’s go home.
Kiss me again.
I was on Facebook,
some friends, have informed me
that Amina has just
published a shocking photo...
I discovered on her profile
a photo of her bloodied hand.
I was so shocked,
I didn’t believe that it's true.
I couldn’t move from the salon.
For a moment I thought
that the photo is taken from the Internet.
For me Amina...
Is not just a sister,
but much more than my sister.
My sister...
After all the words that she made me hear,
Amina would never dare tell me that.
Sweetheart.
What are you doing here?
I heard you,
expressing your feelings for me my darling.
Welcome my dear, you made me tired.
Because of you my hair was in a real mess.
Don't ever do it again!
I wasn't in a mood yesterday.
Noussa and I have crossed
Aziz next to the house.
He didn’t go back home.
When I went looking for him
- I found him with his friend.
- I was worried for him.
- I wasn't feeling good.
- If a misfortune happens to him.
-We are the responsible! -I couldn't.
- He will be afraid.
- The kid doesn't even talk!
You know it's Rebah who picked up
the bandage for me from the pharmacy.
After the fight she returned?
Really after the fight?
No, before the fight.
Ah yes!
It’s not a problem anymore.
Mom when she knew about slashing my wrists,
she thought that I
wanted to commit suicide,
for love reasons,
while it wasn't the case.
I just wanted to express
myself in my own way.
That's it...
I explained to her that before...
« When you use to leave
me at the neighbor next door,
her son made us suffer from sexual manners.
She never believed me.
She thought it is an alibi
to hide a sexual relationship.
I told her to go and ask my sister,
when she went to ask my sister...
She didn't even insult the guy,
nor hugged us.
She only asked us to shut up,
otherwise NO man will marry us.
I‘m calling concerning Amina.
In fact I wanted to know if you
could come and check her up.
She is not doing well.
-Amina! Good evening. -Good evening.
Madam Dalila, coach of life.
-Enchanted. -How are you doing?
-How is your health? -Fine, fine...
Great!
Not really...
I see you smiling.
What's New? How is your life?
How's it going?
It bothers you to leave us alone?
- No, no problem.
Thank you dear.
Why did you harm yourself?
I feel that,
when the blood flows,
there is this negative
energy that goes out.
It purifies me from of all my sins.
I like harming myself.
Tell me more about your
childhood, how did you live it?
It was unpleasant,
my father was really violent with me
Yes...
until the age of 13.
And my mother was really capricious,
anxious, ad she freaks out for everything.
I don’t want anyone to
go through what I’ve been.
Their fights marked you...
Worst I was raped at the age of 4.
Thus I was always afraid of men.
I see.
Even at the age of 7-8 years
when my father gives me a hug,
I was afraid.
Why do you want to harm yourself that bad?
Because I always feel guilty...
the acts of rape, that I've been through.
I was enjoying it... Somehow.
You are not ready to forgive yourself.
I will teach you how to pardon yourself.
LGBT... Equality!
Wake her up, she is drunk...
You fine?
Yes cool.
I finished the first draft,
I also finished correcting
the first part of the novel.
Normally it's fine, have a look...
Yes.
Anyways check your mail,
have a look at what I did
and let me know if I have
to change something...
I've respected my contract!
Great let me know.
There are holes in the bag?
No.
Good morning!
What a great night!
We had a blast!
Atef killed me.
Do my coffee.
Go asshole, no way!
Do it for me bab!
Fuck off! I am not in the mood.
My baby my love.
Tell me about your relationship.
What you feel when you hear his voice?
I become so excited.
You serious! Love doesn't exist.
It is a virtual relationship.
Shit, I told you he is cursed.
Don’t talk about him like that.
He told you that he loves you?
Sing for him " I loved"
No I don't sing this kind of song.
It is lowering.
"From first sight"
"I love you secretly"
No.
Slut!
How is your mother?
She has cancer.
You're not serious.
What kind of cancer?
Lung cancer.
How old is she?
Are you stupid? It has
nothing to do with age!
Yes, for the smokers it
starts at the age of 40.
Since when she is aware of it?
Not that long.
I called my mum
from her voice I felt
she wasn't doing well.
When I asked her where she was,
She told me that she left home,
Just like I did.
After I discovered that
she was at the emergency.
My sisters told me that she
is in the hospital 'Monji Slim'.
When I went there, I found only my sisters.
Mum wasn't there.
My sisters told me that
mum didn't want to see me.
Don't worry honey she will be fine.
She’s mad at me because I didn't
speak to her for about 4 months.
She told me that she suffers from cancer...
She hopes to die
because she has no more reason to live.
She asked me to return home
and to live with her, her last moments.
I am the only one who
knows about her illness,
not even my sisters know.
Oh! I hate when I have my period.
Ramy do you have your period?
You gays, you have your menstrual period?
Not like us tranvestites.
- Tell me, eh?
- Yes.
Really from where does it come out?
Your nose? Your mouth? From where exactly?
Tell me?
We never stop learning!
Even my other friend got her period today!
Yes I fell in love and I was loved.
But he was afraid.
He was paranoid.
He was afraid that people would know
that he's going out with a transvestite.
But me, I've never been afraid.
I was very faithful,
and honest.
I liked him badly.
I liked him badly.
Love is a curse.
Love leads nowhere
between two men.
It is true that you feel a lot of joy
And tenderness.
But in the end it leads nowhere.
- Look who is here!
- Asshole.
As usual in the same place.
Who?
Get away!
What's your problem?
I want to talk to Ayoub!
Fuck off!
Amina mind your own business!
I've known Amine a very long time,
through a friend
who was his ex at the time.
Like him, my ex right now.
I admit that I am possessive and jealous.
It’s because I love.
If I didn’t love you,
I wouldn’t have acted in such a way.
It's not time to talk about it.
I have to go.
Stay 5 minutes more.
There was a mixture...
Not of sadness.
But of fear and of love.
My friends offended him
because they know that I suffered a lot.
I couldn't see them anymore.
At the same time I understand Amine.
He loved me badly.
Especially in the same place.
Our nostalgic corner.
I was surprised.
Not only surprised but I felt...
I do not know...
One day we met his friend,
We’d spent a pleasant day together.
Everything went well!
His friend had seen my Facebook
picture in which I’m holding a gay flag.
He wanted to know more about me.
He checked over about me
and found that I am transvestite.
He didn't stop making
moral to my boyfriend,
"How dare do you go out
with a man, forget it dude!"
Open the door Amina.
I'm writing.
- I’m working.
- It’s always me who opens the door!
Go ahead Sandra!
It must be a homeless asking for water.
Ayoub... It‘s for you.
What the fuck is he doing here!
Why did you open the door?
You expecting me to do leave him outside?
Why are you here?
You never picked up my phone calls.
Ayoub I need to talk to you.
Why are you insisting!
Please give me 5 minutes.
Ok fine.
I don't get it, why you're insisting!
What are you filming?
Back off, we need a little privacy.
I know I was wrong.
I love you and I
promise that I will change.
I am done, stop filming.
What will you tell them now...
The other day, when I kissed him,
I want to to know my feelings for him...
if I still love him...
And if he is willing to change
from deep in side or no.
I saw in his eyes that he
is ready to face the society.
Wake up!
"Hanged Dead"
Atef.
Wake up!
Ayoub wake up, I have an idea.
The idea is just behind you,
the camera.
Wake up!
Come on
Come on.
Awatef, my dear.
You woke up now?
Ramy!
-Hello. -The beautiful Noussa come on!
She is announcing news.
Come on!
Close the door.
Silence.
I am ready to announce the news.
Silence, let me speak.
Go ahead.
I found a solution.
Silence.
Shut up Atef.
We are leaving the country?
What a solution!
-We make a video,
-To show our breasts?
-No not to show our breasts.
-Stop! -Then to show our butts?
Stop with your stupid jokes.
We will shout free Amina, free Amina.
I am serious.
No, it isn’t about me!
Stop with your bullshit!
Stop Sandra let me speak!
I am listening go!
An awareness video that groups
rejected people in the society.
Castrated?
- Rejected.
It means excluded from the society.
That rhymes with "castrated".
You’re ignorant!
Sandra stop moving
your foot, oh it's Awatif's!
We will bring peasant women,
beaten women, ex-prisoners,
LGBT Community, and many others.
You want to put us in trouble.
You’re seeking war.
Each one talks about his situation.
Then we publish the video on Facebook.
They’ll fuck the shit out of you,
they will come and get you this time...
They'll cut off your boobs, one by one...
You serious?
She wants to film peasant women!
They will hold her by her feet,
And attach her to a cow...
You guys are not serious.
Or behind a donkey!
Back in the old days,
Leilouna, our classy first Lady.
It was different.
I liked her very much.
Because you like who treats you like shit.
You love to be oppressed and badly treated!
You love dictatorship right.
Leila Ben Ali!
-Fuck off,
- When she was in Tunis...
- She was your girlfriend?
No, but when she was the first lady,
No son of a bitch dared to speak
to us, even if you were naked!
But now everything
changed! And you like it right!
I am gay!
I am not a whore.
You have a hole, and you
are using it, it’s the same thing.
- No I am not a whore.
- You're being paid for it!
It is my fucking problem!
I prefer to fuck with money!
-You're a whore! -Bastard!
Asshole.
Stop fighting.
Who's with me in the video?
It hurts me to hear Ayoub
who is gay, telling that to me!
I feel pain, from deep inside.
I didn’t wish to be as I am... A whore!
If the society accepts
that transvestites work,
I won't be... a whore!
For sure not.
My family rejects me.
Even people.
I don’t want to be a whore!
I have badly tried, I’ve
worked, I was beaten.
I can’t handle it anymore.
What can I do with my life?
I often think of my friend Nesma,
who left the country.
I must get out of here too.
I can’t stand this country!
I can’t any more!
Let me look for my phone.
You fuck off!
Ayoub let us clean!
I'm clumsy.
Lift me up.
I broke my foot.
I don’t like to be bothered
when I am house cleaning.
Be careful, my legs hurts.
You're pregrenant, slowly.
Stand up.
Be careful!
You lost your child!
Motherfuckers!
Your scarf fell down.
My friends have found
themselves in a situation
where I am the only one
who opens the door to them.
We were forced to stay together.
We fight, we make peace,
we laugh, we cry.
Come on hurry up!
As long as you are dirty
I must be behind you!
Catch her!
I didn't choose that all of my
friends are rejected from the society.
I could have had other normal friends.
But unfortunately in Tunisia
because of our families and the police
we found ourselves locked up all together
At the end we help and love each other.
Madam Fadwa.
You have defended many cases.
We want you to be with
us in an awareness video.
That deals with
rejected people from the society.
They will express themselves freely
about what they've been through.
We want to push women
to talk about their suffering.
There will be gays,
transvestites,
a black,
a homeless.
Maybe a woman victim of violence.
So you need a strong message
from women victims of violence?
Are we talking about homosexuals in prison?
What I want is to end the
attempts of suicides of homosexuals.
We shouldn't ignore them
because of their differences.
It is unfair that a 22 year
old man, in 12th grade,
neither terrorist, nor a member
of Isis, found himself in prison.
They have even killed a
homosexual in 2012 in Mehdia.
Politicians avoid talking
about these subjects.
You know that we respect
confidentiality and the anonymity
Participating in your
video is politically incorrect.
It is even suicidal.
I've to say goodbye to the general meeting!
Our center can't reveal the
secrets of women victim of violence.
We cannot give you their contacts.
Amina I accept to be with you in this video
to raise the awareness of young people
and to convey a message of fight and hope.
The Amina situation or Amina’s phenomenon
has questioned democratic women.
Before having a direct
relationship with her,
her way of expressing
herself questioned us.
We had a big discussion
within the Association.
Especially that she has never been arrested
because she got naked.
No one took time
to understand the real cause of her arrest.
People don’t care about her,
And fear that she affects their statutes.
They don’t consider her as human being or
a young woman.
She has given her political
opinion against terrorists.
In a civil manner.
She has neither insulted,
neither offended people.
She has just written a word
on the wall of a cemetery.
Come on go!
Peasant women, peasant!
Peasant women, peasant!
No peasant women over here?
Where can I find peasant women?
- Over there.
- Where?
Down there.
Very well.
My God.
Turn to the right.
- You are working in the artichokes fields?
- Yes.
You have contracts?
No, nothing.
No social coverage, no anything at all.
Are you tempted to participate in a video
that defends the rights
of oppressed people?
No Sorry.
We will have problems.
Remember the revolution
period in 2011-2012,
in the middle of the revolution
our first political concern was on women,
‘Ouajdi Ghonim’ and the
circumcision of young girls.
In that period, Amina
manifested with a lot of courage.
For me it’s a very courageous move,
and even an activist concerning for
the future of women of this country.
I dream of a world
Without racism
without sexism
without homophobia
without xenophobia.
I dream of a world full of unlimited love,
music,
peace,
A world that respects... Freedom
dignity, and social justice.
Cheers everyone.
Cheers in the eyes.
Maya cheers in the eyes.
Are you listening to me or not?
Here is the straw.
You're a man!
Yes.
- Why are you dressed as a woman?
- What?
Why are you like that!
Take the straw.
Why are you dressed as a woman?
He's free.
What free!
He is free!
No he is not free!
Mind your own business!
No I mind!
What’s your problem?
He does not have the
right to be dressed like that.
Fine Sir.
Shame on you!
A man does not have the
right to go out like that.
I am free!
Shame on you!
He is making fun of Atef
and you are on the phone!
I am talking to my love.
A man, and then!
It doesn’t mean anything.
I am better than many men.
Help!
What’s wrong?
What's going on?
Atef!
Please call the ambulance!
Upon the shadow people are in agony,
simple people like you and me.
Upon the shadow, confusion
and noise twisting in my mind
and body.
Your entourage leads you to explode.
Upon the shadow, come and
drink from the glass of humiliation.
You withdraw on yourself,
but a deeper voice pushes you to display...
You display and spear
in the light of the day.
Mom I am always the same,
Ayoub that you raised and pampered.
Mom I am Ayoub who you
taught to say no before saying yes,
and to defend my rights.
I am free to be what I am.
It is my freedom!
And I choose to be sincere with myself!
Because I am lots of colors
that illuminate at night,
because I am a venial sin in a human form.
I love life. I want to live
free and my head high.
Shadows I won't shut up,
words disturbing me, and
ideas are killing each other.
I won’t shut up, time will
come and I will blow up.
France has put act 230 since 1913,
France has changed this Act.
How much time and victims
do we need to change this law.
An idea emerges a word, a
word emerges a tightening,
then words overflow in
every sense of the word.
Let’s not forget that in our country today,
homosexuals are thrown into prison,
and deprived from their rights.
Where they are tortured
by the police and prisoners.
No one chooses the color of
his hair, nor his size or shape.
It’s God’s will.
Defend dignity, equality, freedom,
and justice, defend humanity.
You ok!
This is for all the Arab women
who've been stoned in the world.
In your book you talk about
events that made you a militant...
We mustn’t judge people
by their appearance,
but on their experience that
led them to be what they are.
This is what I’ve learned,
appearances are deceptive.
Good morning Amina.
They are filming shit!
You kidding me!
Seriously Amina do my hair before.
Tell them to go right
now we’re not yet ready.
Do my hair.
Tell them to go.
I don't want to look
ugly in your documentary.
Miss stop filming us!
Asshole, do myself my hair!
Not now, after my coffee and cigarette.
Miss, don’t film me I am not ready.
Step back please otherwise
I will break your camcorder.
Please.
The first action that i saw was in Paris.
It was in solidarity with arab women.
I felt,
concerned...
Especially that their slogans were:
« Muslim women get naked »
« against sexual industry »
« Our God is woman »
« Our mission is protest »
« Our weapons are our breasts ».
Outright, these slogans...
Took me over.
I saw myself in their place.
Each time I saw a picture
I felt involved.
When I got older...
I realized that I became tolerant...
Not from Femen, but from jail.
That’s why I am no longer Femen.
In jail,
there isn’t only torture,
imprisonment or belittlement.
Each day, there is new funny stories.
The fact that we were...
locked and deprived from lots of things,
lets us invent laughter.
Stop...
Enough...
You should suffer to look beautiful.
I feel that you are messing up
with my face. You feel womanly?
Yes.
Now,
put right your wig.
Hold on.
You should do the tucking.
Why? I will put a skirt!
- You have to, it is essential.
Did you do the tucking?
Yes, but I am not used to it.
Mum taught me
good manners in her way...
No not in her way
but in the society manners.
How people perceive good manners.
« Don’t go with guys »,
« Don’t wear tight pants »,
« No lipstick »,
« No short skirt »,
« No bare back »,
« No sexy cloths»,
« At the beach swim with a t-shirt ».
For her if I obey all these rules...
I will be the example of the perfect girl.
It is not even for me...
It is for the society.
And of course to find Mr. Right
so i can hide my bad reputation.
Stop.
Stop with your silliness.
What?
I know that you’re not feeling good.
You are the only person who is left for me,
since my family pushed me out.
Sweetheart.
What’s wrong?
What!
You’ve never been beaten or insulted?
Who has never been beaten in Tunisia!
By the cops or strangers.
Yes I know but we have to...
We have to do something to stop this.
Gays can’t lodge a complaint.
If they do they risk big.
Bring a lawyer.
A lawyer you're serious! -Yes...
Starting from June you can hire a lawyer.
They want to give us the shaft.
Because we don’t have
the right to a complaint...
Bullshit!
I was at home,
an activist LGBT friend called me
to participate on a photo shot
for her master degree about LGBT rights.
I told her fine ok.
We called another guy
activist in the LGBT community
to participate with us
at the photo shooting.
I didn’t know what was it about exactly.
She only told me it's
about the LGBT rights,
so I thought she wants a
photo of an injured man...
We‘d started shooting next to the dome.
She told me to kiss my friend.
I thought she was kidding,
but then I was pretty fine with the idea
We’d started shooting.
When I was kissing him,
we were about to get caught by a cop.
Right on I put my arm around his neck
as if we were posing
for a fashion shooting.
Like models.
Homosexuality is a crime in Tunisia
as well as love.
The fact of living as you
are... Is a crime in Tunisia.
It's unfair!
I didn't choose to live like this.
But circumstances lead me to it.
I dont know if it's my fault my
family’s fault, my mum, my dad...
My mother who kept me
always at the hairdresser salon,
who used to put me in
make up, henna, tatou...
My father payed more
attention to my oldest brother.
I was small, I did not understand anything.
But I remember all that
I have been through.
My fatal beauty
breaks men’s hearts...
Oh yes...
Deadly glare.
Sexy lips!
It's time for the tucking
and my extensions
and there we go.
-You have a problem? -You’re not ashamed!
-Mind your own business! -You are men!
It's not your problem!
Right now
let me show you
my magic trick.
The tucking is done!
Nothing is seen!
It’s called tucking.
I will kick your fucking ass.
Are you alright?
Why are you doing this?
We are filming.
- What are guys doing, shit!
- Cut, cut!
Am I the first woman
who got naked in Tunisia?
Top models,
actresses of cinema...
Didn’t you notice them?
Oh because they have
no message to transmit!
Because nothing is
written on their bodies...
Because I am telling
you words that hurt...
Because the body of
woman doesn’t belong to her.
That’s what you hope... Fuck off!
A woman who is beaten
up by her fucking husband...
The first question that her family asks...
Why did he beat you?
What did you do to him?
When mom... uh
Mom...!?
When a woman is raped...
They ask her: "What were you wearing?"
'What path have you taken?'
'Why did you go out at night?'
We are not allowed right, that is it!
Have you ever asked a fucking man
why he fucking raped her...!
I'm leaving Nada!
Hi Amina.
Hi, how are you, fine?
Did you finish writing the Novel?
Still working on it, not regulary...
because i've been busy working on
the law 230 of the criminal code.
It's not what we agreed in the contract,
the crew here is waiting for you to finish
so they can start their work!
We can extend the deadline... it's doable.
No it's not possible, you have
to respect the delivery date.
We've provided you all your
needs, including your rent.
You live comfortably, to my knowledge!
Fine... I am working...
And still I am not
living like a princess...
I want you to deliver
the first part corrected,
in 3 days, and the first draft of the novel
at the end of this week.
Otherwise it will be too late for me!
You know that time is money!
Alright.
- Let’s play « Never Have I Ever »?
- Ok.
I forgot how we play it.
Sandra and Noussa never played it too.
Ok, I explain...
If I say for example that,
"I have never slept with a woman,"
I won’t drink because it’s true.
And the ones who have must drink.
Shit, I think nobody is going to drink...
Ah, maybe Atef and Noussa.
-Me too... -Noussa and Ayoub also...
Never have I never prayed.
I have prayed.
- You have prayed, why you drinking?
- Yes! If you prayed, you drink!
But you said « Never have I never prayed".
"Never have I ever prayed".
So those who have never prayed don’t drink,
And those who prayed...
Drink!
Yes exactly!
Asshole! Concentrate Amina.
Sandra you’ve never prayed?
May godbless you.
Even small?
You never went to the mosque? My God!
- I never got pissed of
Amina Femen -My ass, right...
I will kill her one day!
I am never pissed at her.
Drink, drink.
Never I have ever...
Had problems with my family!
Drink, drink...
Let me see,
a woman with a penis!
Noussa hold her!
Leave me!
Amina save me!
"Why is the sea laughing"
"when I go down swagging
to fill the water jars"
"Why is the sea laughing"
"when I go down swagging
to fill the water jars"
"The sea is angry, she is not kidding..."
"cause the story isn't funny."
"The sea's wound is uncurable"
"and our wound..."
"never healed."
"Revolution to victory"
I present my tattooed body.
It’s my kind of weapon to defend freedom,
to express myself.
I have 8 photos of different women,
each one from a different country.
I defend woman whatever her color,
Or her origins...
I have an octopus,
a Citation of Frida Kahlo,
a gazelle,
a crescent.
I have Yasser Arafat,
A poem of Mahmoud Darouich,
a quote from Nietzsche,
Handala,
birds out of a cage.
A quote from Hassan Nasrallah,
a Flower,
I have...
A poem of John Lennon,
a quote from Oscar Wilde.
I have a woman repairing her car.
I have... A joker,
More than 30 tattoos.
I am coming.
Hi.
-You fine? -Thank God.
I got beaten by Arroussi
again and I need shelter.
I am not ok.
Let me see, look at me in the eyes.
He screwed up my face...
I have no where to go.
I have known Amina through Aziz my son.
One evening Aziz slept outside
My son
because of his father,
was left without study,
3 years now.
Amina met him in the street.
She asked him « why are you alone here? »
« Do you live near by? »
« Who're your parents? »
He told her that he is the
son of Arroussi, the sinner.
She knew that he was the
one who works at the port.
He spent the night at Amina's house.
The next morning,
Aziz came back with a leather jacket,
a scarf,
and 20 dinars in his pocket.
I asked him from where
did you get the money?
He said to me that
Amina gave me everything.
Dont be afraid, next time go to the police!
It' s not fair!
Where is he?
Where is he sitting?
There in the dirt!
This is not normal!
-He is drunk... -Arroussi?!
Look at all these beers...
- Why have you beaten her again?
- Mind your own business!
Be careful, he is violent!
Leave me!
Leave me I want to
give him a good spanking!
He had broken my hand,
I had a plaster
for about 3 months.
Enough, stop!
Go!
Enough, enough!
Call the police!
Enough, we are the Culprits!
Son of the bitch,
old-fashioned, misfortune!
Since she is with you you fucked her life!
Motherfucker! You bastard!
Come here if you dare, i
will kick the shit out of you!
Yeah really, we'll see.
For me, good manners
is not to leave a poor starving
it's about how much
you're able to give to others.
It ain't about how much
you're willing to give to yourself,
the image of the perfect girl
so at the end you find 10
guys willing to marry you.
Go Dance!
Let me put lipstick on you!
Turns round...
We took good revenge on your behalf.
What has marked me the most,
that remains in my heart since forever...
The day that my father,
burned me with his cigarette,
on my chest.
Because I was wearing a Col "V" sweater.
He asked me, why are you
wearing this kind of sweater.
I told him that mum bought it for me.
He had a fight with my mum.
Then, he torn the sweater on me
and crushed his cigarette on my chest.
The scar of the burning still appears,
on my heart.
Each time that I change my cloths, take
a shower, or look at myself in a mirror.
I wonder why...
He has burned me with his cigarette.
He could have come and talked to me gently
without violence.
My mother has neglected
my sisters to take care of me.
She said to me:
I want you to wipe my tears,
and to hold strong to finish your studies.
She suffered for me, she suffered a lot.
That’s why I can't say that she’s wrong.
Because she was always there for me.
My father beat me.
When he fell asleep,
she came to comfort me.
Telling me that she will always
be by my side, whatever happens...
She spoiled me a lot,
in the hope that I will
not abandon my studies.
She said that despite what is said,
I will look at them in
the eye and tell them:
"my son is gay,
but he is at a higher
level in his studies."
I feel guilty, I have not
been able to achieve her wish.
She is suffering, she
does'nt sleep at night...
My fear is that she will die
without realizing her wish.
I have studied and arrived
at a certain level, but still.
I would have liked to be at
the height of her expectations,
to give her my salary.
I would have liked to give her
all the money she spent on me.
This is not a question of money...
But, the fact that she
thinks all the time of me.
Even here, she calls me at
3 am, 4 am, I do not answer.
I do not answer because I
am ashamed of her and myself.
All the mums are sleeping.
Mine, because of me,
spent sleepless nights.
She is asleep.
I've spent a whole month asleep.
I will never forgive my mother.
That is not the way to
take care of her daughter.
Each time that I wake up
she gives me sleeping pills...
If she was worried about me,
she wouldn't be giving me
drugs to kill me or poppy...
This is all about that picture.
Sometimes I want to speak
to God and I hear him...
And that he answers me.
I am sick of life.
Sick of everything. Sick of myself!
Even the house we are living in
seems to me as a prison.
When we hear about other misfortunes,
We forget ours.
It's destiny, God's will
"Tomorrow is a new day,
my daughter will go to
school, and I am proud of her".
"My daughter is brave
she goes to school."
"My daughter is brave
there is no better than her..."
Ramy is crying, he's affected by the song.
Ramy please stop.
Amina tell them to stop filming.
Stop Filming please!
You'll get ill.
Everything will be fine...
Step them back away,
they want to film everything!
We can't ever hide to our Mother,
our homosexuality.
But the day where...
She has evidence that her son is gay...
She changes 180 degrees!!!
When you do your coming out,
and you confront her,
or she has proofs,
she will be against you.
Give me a cigarette.
God forgives you...
Give me a cigarette from there.
Mum insults me often now.
She treats me like a bitch.
She told me that I dishonored
my sisters and my family.
Until today, my sister envies a lot.
I received an offensive
SMS from my sister telling me
that her husband saw
the photos of the Cupola...
She told me that...
Give me a lighter...
That, « you brought me shame »
And she will divorce because of me.
Her husband isn’t even living in Tunisia.
I am a fashion designer
Even in fashion I am an activist.
I am always telling
stories through what i do.
Almost a year now, in my fashion show
I paraded on stage the gay flag.
Since this fashion show,
the problems with my parents have worsened.
I have been through a lot of pain
I use to have a very good
relation with my mum.
Until the day that my Dad...
Knew that I am gay.
My parents are divorced, but...
That’s it!
He... evicted me from home.
- I thought that mum supported me...
- It's not a problem.
I succeeded in my life,
I did all my best to be successful.
I tried to be like they wanted me to be,
but I couldn't.
I would have liked that
our families support us,
because we risk prison.
Despite that we are innocent,
like our friend Marwen,
He found himself in
prison because of an SMS.
I can find myself in prison at any time!
The cops have enough evidence against me,
Especially the pictures...
According to the Act 230,
the State holds evidence...
At any time they can fuck me in prison!
Normally, my family must support me...
It is painful when the closest ones
Leave you to die alone...
I have married sisters,
that I don’t know their house.
Except one of them...
She invited me several times...
But I know this is not good for her...
At all...
I dont know but...
It makes me feel bad...
It hurts, but I understand.
She must be ashamed of me.
If I go out smoking in her balcony...
And her neighbors recognized me,
treats me as a transvestite...
She will have trouble with her husband.
That’s why...
We are not victims.
But it hurts me the fact that...
My family has abandoned me.
Seeking another family...
That’s why I came to
live at Amina’s house...
If they try to kill me here...
What will I do? Leave
Tunisia, seek asylum...
If my mother dies...
My sister, or a close person is ill...
I will not be able to return
back if they need me...
If I leave for asylum...
They take my passport...
I wish this boat would take
me far away from here...
Where nobody recognizes me...
Where i will be able to
live my life peacefully.
And shuts every slanderous mouth up.
Where there isn't any person
who knows that I am a man.
I hope that everyone minds their business.
That I could live a quiet life...
live in peace...
Amina what’s wrong with you?
She doesn’t support all this shit!
She's sensitive!
Amina come on...
When I was in jail, a woman kissed me.
It means that I'm a lesbian? No.
But I say it to offend the fundamentalists
who often Ask: Is Amina a lesbian or not?
I am pro-gay.
But our society is homophobic.
And homophobia is a serious disease,
in Tunisia, in the Arab World
and in the entire world.
"Equality"
Please stop Amina...
Fucking enough, it is too much...
Wake up Amina...
You cannot film today.
Amina is not doing well.
We spent a crappy night.
She harmed herself badly.
Wait I will see with Ayoub.
Ayoub!
Yes...
Come...
They came to film, what do we do?
It’s not everyday!
Yes.
You shouldn’t open the door.
You want to shoot all the time or what!
The girl is not feeling
well and you want to film...
Good morning.
What’s going on?
Amina slit her wrists
and Ramy left the House.
No, It is just a sprain.
Sandra was not aware.
I couldn't wake her up
I didn't insist, she would
have done too much.
It was around 1:00 a.m...
I was going to sleep
suddenly I heard howling.
I found her with Ramy and her hand bloodied
On top of that she put the
photo of her hand on Facebook.
It was kind of a message,
she wanted to tell us something.
What a bad game.
Why didn’t you wake me up?
Motherfuckers!
You should have put water on me to wake up!
If you were awake, what would you've done!
She already harmed herself.
I woke up in the morning, put my make up on
like nothing really happened.
To my surprise, I found her injured
And the other one run away!
Nobody can imagine you...
In a low situation, diminished...
Negative or fragile...
I have this problem since I
made the picture of Femen.
They have the impression that
I am strong, rigid, like "Rambo"!
Nobody sees your low side...
I do not know...
It is complicated...
Before I had the habit...
To slash my wrists regularly...
But now I have virtually stopped.
It's been almost a week
since I restarted this habit.
Perhaps because I am suffering more...
Ramy wanted me to let
Aziz spends the night over.
I yelled at him.
I wasn't in a situation
to let someone spend the night with me.
Ramy got pissed off so he left the house.
I play the role of the
mother and sister with her
as well as the brother sometimes...
It depends on the situation.
The thing that I admire the most in Amina,
is that she doesn't judge
people on their appearance.
She tries to know them
before she judges them.
My parents love her as well.
My father presents her to
people as his second daughter.
We live very well our friendship!
Get out please
Take your microphone,
get out of my room, asshole.
Hold, goodbye and good night.
I am not kidding get out of here!
Motherfuckers!
Get out!
Even in the difficult moments,
I don't cry...
I cry only when i see others suffering,
or when watching a sad film several times.
I am sensitive to stories other than mine.
Despite that I have been
through many bad experiences.
When I was four years old,
Mom goes to work at school,
and dad to the hospital.
They left me with our neighbor.
Her son in his twenties, used to...
hold us by force my sister and me...
We’ve undergone sexual manners!
Assholes!
One hand does not applaud.
Help me! Damn, the girl
is sick and you're helpless!
Always me who does the linen.
Each time Sandra does the laundry!
I am not your maid!
Sluts.
Good for nothing!
Dirty bitch!
It hurts me.
Damn, the girl is sick
and they don’t do shit.
Look at this!
It is not difficult to spread the laundry.
It is as simple as it seems.
Oh! There is wind.
Atef clean up the house at least!
Lazy sluts!
They think that being
clean is putting make up on...
Bullshit!
I thought I was going out.
Here I am out on the roof...
When the house is dirty it brings problems!
They are unaware of this fact!
Back up you bitch!
You are here?
I missed my mum,
I used to spend the night with her.
I missed her food so much,
as well as my house, my bed.
I love my sisters,
my father and my brother
no. I don't like them.
The society is unfair.
He was not allowed to live in peace.
I suffer,
if I die... Nobody will take care of him.
His sisters, married, they
have other occupations.
God forgive him.
I am ready to follow him
even if he goes abroad.
One day he will return to his true origin.
It is just a question of time and maturity.
And he will turn back as he was.
I am confident, my
heart tells me that one day
God will put him on the right path.
Save us from problems,
Keep us away from problems.
Save us from evil eyes.
Come on!
Go on Amina, do like me.
Come here, now.
I love the incense smell.
-Go ahead! -Give me some peace.
Come on, do it to avoid problems.
Pass through the incense 7 times.
Stop laughing!
Always with your tricks.
Come and do it to avoid problems.
Ok, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.
Give me, you're not serious!
No, Ramy I want to come back.
I will come and pick you up?
I am coming to bring my bride home!
Yes it's me who is paying the cab!
I am coming right now.
Say hi to Dora, and give her a big kiss.
Hi.
Can i smoke here?
My bananas!
My Banana!
You crazy you brought the camera with you!
Don’t ever leave me alone.
Kiss me.
Let’s go home.
Kiss me again.
I was on Facebook,
some friends, have informed me
that Amina has just
published a shocking photo...
I discovered on her profile
a photo of her bloodied hand.
I was so shocked,
I didn’t believe that it's true.
I couldn’t move from the salon.
For a moment I thought
that the photo is taken from the Internet.
For me Amina...
Is not just a sister,
but much more than my sister.
My sister...
After all the words that she made me hear,
Amina would never dare tell me that.
Sweetheart.
What are you doing here?
I heard you,
expressing your feelings for me my darling.
Welcome my dear, you made me tired.
Because of you my hair was in a real mess.
Don't ever do it again!
I wasn't in a mood yesterday.
Noussa and I have crossed
Aziz next to the house.
He didn’t go back home.
When I went looking for him
- I found him with his friend.
- I was worried for him.
- I wasn't feeling good.
- If a misfortune happens to him.
-We are the responsible! -I couldn't.
- He will be afraid.
- The kid doesn't even talk!
You know it's Rebah who picked up
the bandage for me from the pharmacy.
After the fight she returned?
Really after the fight?
No, before the fight.
Ah yes!
It’s not a problem anymore.
Mom when she knew about slashing my wrists,
she thought that I
wanted to commit suicide,
for love reasons,
while it wasn't the case.
I just wanted to express
myself in my own way.
That's it...
I explained to her that before...
« When you use to leave
me at the neighbor next door,
her son made us suffer from sexual manners.
She never believed me.
She thought it is an alibi
to hide a sexual relationship.
I told her to go and ask my sister,
when she went to ask my sister...
She didn't even insult the guy,
nor hugged us.
She only asked us to shut up,
otherwise NO man will marry us.
I‘m calling concerning Amina.
In fact I wanted to know if you
could come and check her up.
She is not doing well.
-Amina! Good evening. -Good evening.
Madam Dalila, coach of life.
-Enchanted. -How are you doing?
-How is your health? -Fine, fine...
Great!
Not really...
I see you smiling.
What's New? How is your life?
How's it going?
It bothers you to leave us alone?
- No, no problem.
Thank you dear.
Why did you harm yourself?
I feel that,
when the blood flows,
there is this negative
energy that goes out.
It purifies me from of all my sins.
I like harming myself.
Tell me more about your
childhood, how did you live it?
It was unpleasant,
my father was really violent with me
Yes...
until the age of 13.
And my mother was really capricious,
anxious, ad she freaks out for everything.
I don’t want anyone to
go through what I’ve been.
Their fights marked you...
Worst I was raped at the age of 4.
Thus I was always afraid of men.
I see.
Even at the age of 7-8 years
when my father gives me a hug,
I was afraid.
Why do you want to harm yourself that bad?
Because I always feel guilty...
the acts of rape, that I've been through.
I was enjoying it... Somehow.
You are not ready to forgive yourself.
I will teach you how to pardon yourself.
LGBT... Equality!
Wake her up, she is drunk...
You fine?
Yes cool.
I finished the first draft,
I also finished correcting
the first part of the novel.
Normally it's fine, have a look...
Yes.
Anyways check your mail,
have a look at what I did
and let me know if I have
to change something...
I've respected my contract!
Great let me know.
There are holes in the bag?
No.
Good morning!
What a great night!
We had a blast!
Atef killed me.
Do my coffee.
Go asshole, no way!
Do it for me bab!
Fuck off! I am not in the mood.
My baby my love.
Tell me about your relationship.
What you feel when you hear his voice?
I become so excited.
You serious! Love doesn't exist.
It is a virtual relationship.
Shit, I told you he is cursed.
Don’t talk about him like that.
He told you that he loves you?
Sing for him " I loved"
No I don't sing this kind of song.
It is lowering.
"From first sight"
"I love you secretly"
No.
Slut!
How is your mother?
She has cancer.
You're not serious.
What kind of cancer?
Lung cancer.
How old is she?
Are you stupid? It has
nothing to do with age!
Yes, for the smokers it
starts at the age of 40.
Since when she is aware of it?
Not that long.
I called my mum
from her voice I felt
she wasn't doing well.
When I asked her where she was,
She told me that she left home,
Just like I did.
After I discovered that
she was at the emergency.
My sisters told me that she
is in the hospital 'Monji Slim'.
When I went there, I found only my sisters.
Mum wasn't there.
My sisters told me that
mum didn't want to see me.
Don't worry honey she will be fine.
She’s mad at me because I didn't
speak to her for about 4 months.
She told me that she suffers from cancer...
She hopes to die
because she has no more reason to live.
She asked me to return home
and to live with her, her last moments.
I am the only one who
knows about her illness,
not even my sisters know.
Oh! I hate when I have my period.
Ramy do you have your period?
You gays, you have your menstrual period?
Not like us tranvestites.
- Tell me, eh?
- Yes.
Really from where does it come out?
Your nose? Your mouth? From where exactly?
Tell me?
We never stop learning!
Even my other friend got her period today!
Yes I fell in love and I was loved.
But he was afraid.
He was paranoid.
He was afraid that people would know
that he's going out with a transvestite.
But me, I've never been afraid.
I was very faithful,
and honest.
I liked him badly.
I liked him badly.
Love is a curse.
Love leads nowhere
between two men.
It is true that you feel a lot of joy
And tenderness.
But in the end it leads nowhere.
- Look who is here!
- Asshole.
As usual in the same place.
Who?
Get away!
What's your problem?
I want to talk to Ayoub!
Fuck off!
Amina mind your own business!
I've known Amine a very long time,
through a friend
who was his ex at the time.
Like him, my ex right now.
I admit that I am possessive and jealous.
It’s because I love.
If I didn’t love you,
I wouldn’t have acted in such a way.
It's not time to talk about it.
I have to go.
Stay 5 minutes more.
There was a mixture...
Not of sadness.
But of fear and of love.
My friends offended him
because they know that I suffered a lot.
I couldn't see them anymore.
At the same time I understand Amine.
He loved me badly.
Especially in the same place.
Our nostalgic corner.
I was surprised.
Not only surprised but I felt...
I do not know...
One day we met his friend,
We’d spent a pleasant day together.
Everything went well!
His friend had seen my Facebook
picture in which I’m holding a gay flag.
He wanted to know more about me.
He checked over about me
and found that I am transvestite.
He didn't stop making
moral to my boyfriend,
"How dare do you go out
with a man, forget it dude!"
Open the door Amina.
I'm writing.
- I’m working.
- It’s always me who opens the door!
Go ahead Sandra!
It must be a homeless asking for water.
Ayoub... It‘s for you.
What the fuck is he doing here!
Why did you open the door?
You expecting me to do leave him outside?
Why are you here?
You never picked up my phone calls.
Ayoub I need to talk to you.
Why are you insisting!
Please give me 5 minutes.
Ok fine.
I don't get it, why you're insisting!
What are you filming?
Back off, we need a little privacy.
I know I was wrong.
I love you and I
promise that I will change.
I am done, stop filming.
What will you tell them now...
The other day, when I kissed him,
I want to to know my feelings for him...
if I still love him...
And if he is willing to change
from deep in side or no.
I saw in his eyes that he
is ready to face the society.
Wake up!
"Hanged Dead"
Atef.
Wake up!
Ayoub wake up, I have an idea.
The idea is just behind you,
the camera.
Wake up!
Come on
Come on.
Awatef, my dear.
You woke up now?
Ramy!
-Hello. -The beautiful Noussa come on!
She is announcing news.
Come on!
Close the door.
Silence.
I am ready to announce the news.
Silence, let me speak.
Go ahead.
I found a solution.
Silence.
Shut up Atef.
We are leaving the country?
What a solution!
-We make a video,
-To show our breasts?
-No not to show our breasts.
-Stop! -Then to show our butts?
Stop with your stupid jokes.
We will shout free Amina, free Amina.
I am serious.
No, it isn’t about me!
Stop with your bullshit!
Stop Sandra let me speak!
I am listening go!
An awareness video that groups
rejected people in the society.
Castrated?
- Rejected.
It means excluded from the society.
That rhymes with "castrated".
You’re ignorant!
Sandra stop moving
your foot, oh it's Awatif's!
We will bring peasant women,
beaten women, ex-prisoners,
LGBT Community, and many others.
You want to put us in trouble.
You’re seeking war.
Each one talks about his situation.
Then we publish the video on Facebook.
They’ll fuck the shit out of you,
they will come and get you this time...
They'll cut off your boobs, one by one...
You serious?
She wants to film peasant women!
They will hold her by her feet,
And attach her to a cow...
You guys are not serious.
Or behind a donkey!
Back in the old days,
Leilouna, our classy first Lady.
It was different.
I liked her very much.
Because you like who treats you like shit.
You love to be oppressed and badly treated!
You love dictatorship right.
Leila Ben Ali!
-Fuck off,
- When she was in Tunis...
- She was your girlfriend?
No, but when she was the first lady,
No son of a bitch dared to speak
to us, even if you were naked!
But now everything
changed! And you like it right!
I am gay!
I am not a whore.
You have a hole, and you
are using it, it’s the same thing.
- No I am not a whore.
- You're being paid for it!
It is my fucking problem!
I prefer to fuck with money!
-You're a whore! -Bastard!
Asshole.
Stop fighting.
Who's with me in the video?
It hurts me to hear Ayoub
who is gay, telling that to me!
I feel pain, from deep inside.
I didn’t wish to be as I am... A whore!
If the society accepts
that transvestites work,
I won't be... a whore!
For sure not.
My family rejects me.
Even people.
I don’t want to be a whore!
I have badly tried, I’ve
worked, I was beaten.
I can’t handle it anymore.
What can I do with my life?
I often think of my friend Nesma,
who left the country.
I must get out of here too.
I can’t stand this country!
I can’t any more!
Let me look for my phone.
You fuck off!
Ayoub let us clean!
I'm clumsy.
Lift me up.
I broke my foot.
I don’t like to be bothered
when I am house cleaning.
Be careful, my legs hurts.
You're pregrenant, slowly.
Stand up.
Be careful!
You lost your child!
Motherfuckers!
Your scarf fell down.
My friends have found
themselves in a situation
where I am the only one
who opens the door to them.
We were forced to stay together.
We fight, we make peace,
we laugh, we cry.
Come on hurry up!
As long as you are dirty
I must be behind you!
Catch her!
I didn't choose that all of my
friends are rejected from the society.
I could have had other normal friends.
But unfortunately in Tunisia
because of our families and the police
we found ourselves locked up all together
At the end we help and love each other.
Madam Fadwa.
You have defended many cases.
We want you to be with
us in an awareness video.
That deals with
rejected people from the society.
They will express themselves freely
about what they've been through.
We want to push women
to talk about their suffering.
There will be gays,
transvestites,
a black,
a homeless.
Maybe a woman victim of violence.
So you need a strong message
from women victims of violence?
Are we talking about homosexuals in prison?
What I want is to end the
attempts of suicides of homosexuals.
We shouldn't ignore them
because of their differences.
It is unfair that a 22 year
old man, in 12th grade,
neither terrorist, nor a member
of Isis, found himself in prison.
They have even killed a
homosexual in 2012 in Mehdia.
Politicians avoid talking
about these subjects.
You know that we respect
confidentiality and the anonymity
Participating in your
video is politically incorrect.
It is even suicidal.
I've to say goodbye to the general meeting!
Our center can't reveal the
secrets of women victim of violence.
We cannot give you their contacts.
Amina I accept to be with you in this video
to raise the awareness of young people
and to convey a message of fight and hope.
The Amina situation or Amina’s phenomenon
has questioned democratic women.
Before having a direct
relationship with her,
her way of expressing
herself questioned us.
We had a big discussion
within the Association.
Especially that she has never been arrested
because she got naked.
No one took time
to understand the real cause of her arrest.
People don’t care about her,
And fear that she affects their statutes.
They don’t consider her as human being or
a young woman.
She has given her political
opinion against terrorists.
In a civil manner.
She has neither insulted,
neither offended people.
She has just written a word
on the wall of a cemetery.
Come on go!
Peasant women, peasant!
Peasant women, peasant!
No peasant women over here?
Where can I find peasant women?
- Over there.
- Where?
Down there.
Very well.
My God.
Turn to the right.
- You are working in the artichokes fields?
- Yes.
You have contracts?
No, nothing.
No social coverage, no anything at all.
Are you tempted to participate in a video
that defends the rights
of oppressed people?
No Sorry.
We will have problems.
Remember the revolution
period in 2011-2012,
in the middle of the revolution
our first political concern was on women,
‘Ouajdi Ghonim’ and the
circumcision of young girls.
In that period, Amina
manifested with a lot of courage.
For me it’s a very courageous move,
and even an activist concerning for
the future of women of this country.
I dream of a world
Without racism
without sexism
without homophobia
without xenophobia.
I dream of a world full of unlimited love,
music,
peace,
A world that respects... Freedom
dignity, and social justice.
Cheers everyone.
Cheers in the eyes.
Maya cheers in the eyes.
Are you listening to me or not?
Here is the straw.
You're a man!
Yes.
- Why are you dressed as a woman?
- What?
Why are you like that!
Take the straw.
Why are you dressed as a woman?
He's free.
What free!
He is free!
No he is not free!
Mind your own business!
No I mind!
What’s your problem?
He does not have the
right to be dressed like that.
Fine Sir.
Shame on you!
A man does not have the
right to go out like that.
I am free!
Shame on you!
He is making fun of Atef
and you are on the phone!
I am talking to my love.
A man, and then!
It doesn’t mean anything.
I am better than many men.
Help!
What’s wrong?
What's going on?
Atef!
Please call the ambulance!
Upon the shadow people are in agony,
simple people like you and me.
Upon the shadow, confusion
and noise twisting in my mind
and body.
Your entourage leads you to explode.
Upon the shadow, come and
drink from the glass of humiliation.
You withdraw on yourself,
but a deeper voice pushes you to display...
You display and spear
in the light of the day.
Mom I am always the same,
Ayoub that you raised and pampered.
Mom I am Ayoub who you
taught to say no before saying yes,
and to defend my rights.
I am free to be what I am.
It is my freedom!
And I choose to be sincere with myself!
Because I am lots of colors
that illuminate at night,
because I am a venial sin in a human form.
I love life. I want to live
free and my head high.
Shadows I won't shut up,
words disturbing me, and
ideas are killing each other.
I won’t shut up, time will
come and I will blow up.
France has put act 230 since 1913,
France has changed this Act.
How much time and victims
do we need to change this law.
An idea emerges a word, a
word emerges a tightening,
then words overflow in
every sense of the word.
Let’s not forget that in our country today,
homosexuals are thrown into prison,
and deprived from their rights.
Where they are tortured
by the police and prisoners.
No one chooses the color of
his hair, nor his size or shape.
It’s God’s will.
Defend dignity, equality, freedom,
and justice, defend humanity.