Unraveling the Mystery: A Big Bang Farewell (2019) - full transcript

[BIRDS SINGING]

♪ Broke into the old apartment ♪

♪ This is where we used to live ♪

♪ Broken windows, broke and hungry ♪

♪ Broken hearts and broken bones ♪

♪ This is where we used to live ♪

♪ Broke into the old apartment... ♪

MAN: Ladies and gentlemen,
here they are now.

KALEY CUOCO: You have made every
single one of these episodes

these 12 years
an absolute dream come true.

[APPLAUSE AND CHEERING]



♪ Broke into the old apartment ♪

♪ This is where we used to live. ♪

[BUZZER SOUNDS, INDISTINCT CHATTER]

_

Hi. I'm Kaley Cuoco,
and I've played Penny

for the last 12 years
on The Big Bang Theory.

And I'm Johnny Galecki. I've
played Leonard Hofstadter.

- Come on, TV husband.
- Yes, ma'am.

Every show night, Johnny and I

have walked to this rail,

climbed ourselves up

and thanked our studio audience

for their love and support of this show.

But tonight, we want to thank you,



the audience at home,

without whom none of
this would be possible.

You kept us here for over a decade
in a job we absolutely adore.

So we want to take you behind the scenes

of our very special show, The Big Bang,

share some secrets,
some special moments,

as we say good-bye

[VOICE BREAKING]: to a place that's
been our home for a long time.

GALECKI: This is Stage 25
on the Warner Brothers lot

in the exotic Burbank, California.

Earlier this year, it
was officially renamed

"The Big Bang Theory Stage".

I think it's only the fifth stage
in the history of Warner Brothers

that's been named after a show, right?

- That was a really special day.
- That was a good day.

We've done so many crazy set-ups.

- [PINGING]
- [HONKING, REVVING]

GALECKI: It's been a desert.

- A casino, hotel rooms.
- Planetarium.

The wedding rooftop,
International Space Station.

Do you remember when I asked you where

the International Space Station was?

[LAUGHS]

GALECKI: I was excited to
have the Dagobah set here.

As a kid, I was a huge Star Wars fan.

And then to have Bob
Newhart was just incredible.

When Obi-Wan came to Luke,

he gave him all sorts of helpful advice,

so, um, what do you got for me?

Always...

get... get a prenup.

CUOCO: Remember our car scenes?

So cars are set up here.

MAN: Action!

- Leonard, where are you going?
- Well, to work.

So, when the live studio
audience is-is here,

we would simulate the car scenes,

and then, record their laughter, so that

the laughter was genuine
when the show would air.

[APPLAUSE AND CHEERING]

CUOCO: Our week starts on Wednesday.

That's our table reads.

GALECKI: We gather around a big table

and read it aloud for the first time.

And do you read yours right
when you get it Tuesday nights?

Immediately, yeah, out of
respect for the writers.

We're aware of the weeks, if not months,

of hard work they put into the script,

and we're gonna show
up and read it cold?

I read it cold every week.

- [LAUGHS] That's not true.
- That's a 100% true.

Table reads are awesome,
'cause I laugh so hard.

I watched the news today.
Has the whole world gone mad?

[LAUGHTER]

- CUOCO: Hi.
- GALECKI: Hi.

- Hi.
- [LAUGHING]: Hi.

- Oh, hi.
- Hi.

- Hi. Hi.
- Hi.

Hi?

I just remember you and Jim

- and this visual of this duo.
- I hope so.

- Oh, really?
- Yeah, and I was like...

I just was so excited

to be part of whatever was
going on with the two of you.

- Should we have invited her for lunch?
- No.

We're gonna start season
two of Battlestar Galactica.

We already watched the season two DVDs.

Not with commentary.

I remember Jim and I

getting a piece of
furniture up the stair.

And I remember the audience laughing

at a place where we didn't...

- Expect.
- Expect.

I don't have this. I don't have this!

Help me out! You don't have this.

And then, we kind of locked eyes, like,

"Oh, this is interesting and fun".

Like, they're on the
ride with us. They...

These characters. The
show hadn't aired yet,

and they understood
the fight to these guys.

Ah, gravity... thou
art a heartless bitch.

So much has happened in this apartment.

- Amy got her tiara.
- [LAUGHING]: Yeah.

♪ Oh, it's a tiara! ♪

A tiara. I have a tiara!

Put it on me. Put it on me.
Put it on me. Put it on me.

Put it on me. Put it on me.
Put it on me.

You look beautiful.

Of course I do! I'm a princess,
and this is my tiara!

The Penny-Amy painting.

I wanted to get you
something you didn't have.

CUOCO: We were laughing so hard,

it took us about a good two minutes

till we could actually say the dialogue.

We were just... The tears
were, like, coming down.

That painting will haunt me.

Remember the scene where we
were sitting here, very early on?

We were getting... We were drunk.

Not drunk in real life,
but it was this...

And we got to...

- We were passing the lime back and forth.
- GALECKI: Yeah.

Aah!

Where's the lime?

[BOTH LAUGHING]

Okay. We're sharing.

[AUDIENCE WHOOPING]

A lot of slumber parties with the girls.

[SHRIEKS]: Oh!

Pillow fight!

Ooh, all the girls reading
comic books, sitting here.

How'd you guys finish so fast?

I don't know, there
were a lot of pictures

and one page only had
the word "Brakadoom".

W-Why was that?

CUOCO: We were trying
to understand you guys.

[LAUGHS]

Which is the theme of the whole show.

- There was a lot of action...
- Mm.

... and the story moved
along at a brisk pace.

It was, overall... what's
the word I'm looking for?

- Stupid?
- So stupid.

Oh, remember the scene
where Sheldon sleeps over

and I have to sing him "Soft Kitty"?

♪ Soft kitty, warm kitty ♪

♪ Little ball of fur ♪

♪ Happy kitty... ♪

Um...

Sleepy kitty.

- ♪ Sleepy kitty... ♪
- No.

Start over.

Another favorite of mine
is when Penny breaks her

shoulder in-in the shower and
Sheldon has to dress me.

Hey, you got to help me
get my arm into the sleeve.

Okay.

Is that my arm?

When you think of The Big
Bang Theory, you think of food.

Did you remember to ask for
the chicken with broccoli

- to be diced, not shredded?
- Yes.

- Brown rice, not white?
- Yes.

Did you stop at the Korean grocery

- and get the good hot mustard?
- Yes.

Did you pick up the low sodium
soy sauce from the market?

- Yes.
- Thank you.

You're welcome.

What took you so long?

- It's kind of what bonded these characters.
- Yeah.

They eat. They sit
down and eat together.

Quick poll: PS4 or Xbox One?

- Raj?
- Uh, Xbox One.

- Penny?
- Huh?

- Leonard?
- PS4.

- Wolowitz?
- Both great.

- Bernadette?
- I like the Wii.

Thanks, Grandma.

Where do we start with guest stars?

We've had so many
amazing people.

- John Ross Bowie as Kripke.
- I'm making tea.

Would you like a cup?

Am I wearing a summer frock?

No, I don't want tea.

Brian Posehn.

- H-Him and his geology.
- [CHUCKLING]

Thanks for coming to the
Mineral and Rock Show with me.

GALECKI: Keith Carradine as your dad.

- That was a big deal for me.
- CUOCO: Oh.

Katey Sagal as my mom.

- Miss Baranski. Oh.
- Laurie Metcalf.

Let's all remember what
it says in the Bible.

"He who is slow to anger

is better than the mighty".

Oh, dear woman, can you
please read another book?

When God writes one, I will.

Adam West. Batman finally
came to your party.

Happy birthday, Sherman.

GALECKI: James Earl Jones.

Let me guess.

You like Star Wars.

- CUOCO: Billy Bob Thornton.
- Does Penny live here?

May I ask why?

Well, uh, I-I met her at my office.

She winked at me a-and, uh...

I, I-I came hoping to initiate
a romantic relationship.

- Stephen Hawking, of course.
- Oh.

You made an arithmetic
mistake on page two.

It was quite the boner.

I had to actually say the line...

He's the wheelchair
dude who invented time.

- He's right there watching the rehearsal.
- Mm-hmm.

And I say this line, I just
look at him like, "I'm so sorry".

He thought it was so funny.

- But he was right there.
- I remember Simon being...

very nervous to do his impersonation.

I would not do your Stephen Hawking
impression in front of him.

I suppose that could be

- considered offensive.
- [LAUGHTER]

Speaking of Simon's impersonations.

Oh, his Pacino.

[GRUFF]: You're playing D&D.

You're playing D&D.

This whole apartment...

... is playing D&D. Hah.

CUOCO: Shatner and Manganiello.

Bill Gates was great.

[VOICE BREAKING]: Ever
since I was a little kid,

I've looked up to you
like... like a hero.

Would you like a tissue?

How about a hug?

How-how about a tissue?

CUOCO: Steve Wozniak, Elon Musk.

- We had a lot of Nobel Laureates on the show.
- _

- _
- GALECKI: Three, at least. Buzz Aldrin.

I walked on the moon.

What have you done?

Carol Ann Susi, I have to
give special tribute to.

She played, uh, the
voice of Howard's mom.

- [BANG]
- MRS. WOLOWITZ: Howard, I'm home!

MRS. WOLOWITZ: Sheldon!

MRS. WOLOWITZ: Does
he like the pancakes?

He didn't try them yet!

Yes, Mrs. Wolowitz.

Although we never saw her,

she was a big, big part of the show.

Well, I remember when word came down

that she had passed,
we gathered around here,

everybody, and just told stories about...

- Carol Ann...
- I mean, she... Yeah.

... and cried a bit and laughed a lot.

And then, uh, executive
producer Steve Molaro and I

went to Props and asked them
to print up this photo of her.

So she's been in every...

- Every episode.
- Every episode.

Everyone loved her so much.

All right, come on in.

So, here we are in the most epic
wardrobe room, I think, ever.

Everyone has their own wall.

We got Raj over here.

All his sweater vests.

We got Leonard on this side.

I think this robe might be one
of the most famous robes in television.

- GALECKI: It's that and Archie Bunker's. Yeah.
- CUOCO: Leonard's robe.

- Star Trek?
- My chain mail.

- Star Trek.
- I got it right.

[LAUGHING]: Well done.

I know Mr. Data isn't supposed to smile,

but here it comes.

Come on, guys. Let's do this.

Yeah, I'm sweating my bald cap off.

[BEATBOXING]

- There... Who was in that? Raj.
- Raj.

- For Halloween.
- Raj was Aquaman.

GALECKI: Those are the Flashes, right?

Oh, my gosh.

See, this is why I wanted
to have a costume meeting.

We all have other costumes.
We can change.

Or we could walk right
behind each other all night.

It'll look like one
person going really fast.

Oh, that was my cat outfit
when I first kissed you.

- Halloween.
- Oh, yeah.

The most iconic of all time

are Wolowitz's belt buckles.

It's a light saber belt buckle.

[IMITATES LIGHT SABER WHOOSH]

[CHUCKLES] Wow.

I have one, too.

Check it out.

You can wear yours,

and we can have little sword
fights whenever we want.

[MAKING WHOOSHING SOUNDS]

Sheldon's zombie, when he
popped up from the couch.

[SHOUTING]

My Valentine's Day outfit.

- Is that mine or yours?
- That was... [LAUGHS]

BOTH: Happy Valentine's Day!

[BLOWING NOISEMAKER]

That's, obviously, Amy's incredible
dress from their wedding.

[GASPS] Wow! You look
like a pile of swans.

And Mark Hamill officiated.

Amy, do you take Sheldon for
your lawful wedded husband?

I do.

[CRYING]: And, Sheldon, same thing.

Over here, the fencing outfit.

I was very excited by...

'Cause I always wanted
to take a fencing lesson.

One, two, three.

Switch again. One, two, three.

- [PHONE CHIMING]
- Ehh!

Excuse me.

Can I call you back?

No, I'm-I'm teaching a class.

What about Bernadette? [LAUGHS]

- Oh, from the pageant, right? Yeah.
- Yes.

I'm Bernadette Maryann Rostenkowski

from Yorba Linda, California!

- Remember the Bavarian pretzel?
- Bavarian pretzel.

Who could forget?

Ich bin ein Bavarian.

Und ich bin eine pretzel.

We're here in the
prop room on the stage.

Uh, this was the Internet kissing...

- We made some memories in here...
- that Wolowitz came up with

in a very disturbing scene.

Whoa! You just bit my tongue!

I, like, nibbled. I was being playful.

Why do you have to
make everything weird?

Sorry.

Better?

Oh, yeah.

That's the ring...

CUOCO: Lord of the Rings ring.

GALECKI: ... that we all held.

Ah.

Okay, everybody, and plié.

And relevé.

- Worst toy invention ever.
- [LAUGHING]

Remote control Stephen Hawking!

The gift Penny gave
to you and Sheldon,

- right? Ta-da!
- Mm-hmm.

[GASPS] A vintage, mint, in-box

1975 Mego Star Trek transporter,

with real transporter action. Hot darn!

And I got you a transporter, too!

Awesome!

We had a lot of robots on the show.

- We had Shelbot.
- Yeah.

- Bazinga!
- [HORNS BLARING]

- BattleBots.
- Yeah.

No, I think I'm just gonna
stay in tonight and do laundry.

[SCREAMING]

Robot Arm Wolowitz.

Oh, yeah, just like a real hand.

You slipped and fell into a robot hand?

Yes.

Penis-first?

Well, I think the most
memorable prop that we have

in here comes from season two.

The famous napkin that
Penny gives to Sheldon

she has Leonard Nimoy
sign for him as a gift.

Sheldon freaks out and claims that

he now has Leonard Nimoy's DNA.

Sorry the napkin's dirty.
He wiped his mouth with it.

All I need is a healthy ovum,

and I can grow my own Leonard Nimoy!

[AUDIENCE LAUGHING, APPLAUDING]

And which leads to one
of my favorite moments

that Shenny had over
the course of the show,

where he comes out and
gives her, like, ten gifts,

and then he hugs her.

- Entrée.
- Comic Book store.

How many scenes have you had in here?

Oh, a lot more than you.

No, you were here for...

- "Scavenger Hunt".
- I've been in here a bunch, yes.

One of my favorite episodes.
I always say it.

- Melissa trying to hit me...
- Punch you.

- ... in a way that looked realistic at all.
- "Punch you".

Penny, I just wanted to say good luck,

- and I hope there's no hard feelings.
- Hey, Romeo!

Repair your relationship
on your own time!

The great Kevin Sussman.

What do you want for it?

Well, it's hard to put
a price on something

that's a copy of something
that was on pay cable.

- I, like, adore him.
- He is the comic book store.

[SPEAKING KLINGON]

Did that guy just say, "revenge is
a dish best served cold" in Klingon?

I believe so.

What is wrong with him?

Everyone has a different theory.

It's not a dress-up party?

No.

Was it ever a dress-up party?

No.

Howard, didn't you tell
me it was a dress-up party?

Yeah. [LAUGHS]

- Footprints on the Moon made their debut.
- ♪ Thor and Dr. Jones ♪

♪ Thor and Dr. Jones ♪

BOTH: ♪ Thor and Dr. Jones ♪

♪ One plays with lightning ♪

♪ The other plays with bones. ♪

- Come on.
- You won't believe this.

When we have guests come,
they immediately want to see

what's down here. This is it.

- A lot of chewed gum here.
- Yeah. [LAUGHS]

It's kind of like, how dogs mark trees,

- actors mark stages this way...
- Yeah.

with just chewed gum.

That's not true. We're just disgusting.

We're disgusting.

How about "bazinga"?

Bazinga.

Bazinga.

Bazinga.

Jim, you guys...

- They complained about that for days.
- I hate to sound spoiled,

but we got out of that,
and we were just...

- coated in dirt.
- Filth.

Yeah. They washed the
balls the next day.

- That's key to being on set.
- You got to wash the balls.

- Bazinga.
- [LAUGHS]

DIRECTOR: And that's a cut.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

[MAN SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]

♪♪

It's been an honor and joy for this cast

to perform for you guys for 12 years.

Thank you so much.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

Well, we've come to the end.

I don't really want to say good-bye.

[LAUGHS]

What you see here is
not all that goes on.

And this crew has really helped
make this show what it is.

GALECKI: Honestly, it
could not be possible

without the 150-so crew and staff

that work incredibly hard and get, much,

much too little credit for it.

We thank you very, very
much for all your hard work.

I really want to sit in that seat.

- Penny...
- Yeah?

That's where I sit.

Sit next to me.

No, I sit there.

What's the difference?

- What's the difference?
- Here we go.

In the winter, that seat is
close enough to the radiator

to remain warm, and yet not so close

as to cause perspiration.

In the summer, it's directly in the path

of a cross-breeze, created by
opening windows there and there.

It faces the television at an angle
that is neither direct,

thus discouraging conversation,

nor so far wide as to create
a parallax distortion.

I could go on, but I
think I've made my point.

- Do it. Do it. He's not around.
- All right.

- Nope. Can't do it.
- [LAUGHS]

No.

♪ Our whole universe was
in a hot, dense state ♪

♪ Then nearly 14 billion years ago ♪

♪ Expansion started... Wait! ♪

♪ The Earth began to cool ♪

♪ The autotrophs began to drool ♪

♪ Neanderthals developed tools ♪

♪ We built a wall, we
built the pyramids ♪

♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪

♪ That all started with a big bang. ♪