Unlovable (2016) - full transcript

A sex and love addicted woman learns what real intimacy means when she starts making music with a reclusive man.

[Joy] Hi. My name is Joy.

My parents named me

after the feeling they
had when I was born.

[shoes clicking]

That faded fast.

Peace out, bitches.

I'm good, how are you?

I'm good, how are you?

I love your bangs today.

I have a boyfriend too.

Is that a new baby?
I love your baby.



And then he said, "I
love you." [chuckles]

When I say, "I love you,"

what I really mean is,

[rasping] "Do you love me?"

These are gonna look
so hot in my coffin.

[shoes tapping]

I actually wasn't
always this miserable.

One time, in seventh-grade band,

I challenged Bobby Hendricks
on the drums for first chair.

I fucking won.
[imitates cymbal crash]

That was the moment I peaked.

[chewing] Mmm.

[shoes tapping]

You know that huge,
gaping hole in your soul?



Lots of people find
ways to fill it up...

Drugs, booze, porn,
food, gambling, shopping.

[slurps]

I've had my own ways.

This is Rob.

This is Greg.

This is Enrique.

But it's never enough.

I always need more.

You're the one.

You're the one.

You're the one!

Ooh... Oh, boy.

[exhales]

[breathing heavily]

I'm a piece of shit.

[electronic pinging]

I can't do anything right.
[music powers down]

[retches]

[coughs]

I couldn't even get
killing myself right.

[TV] This monkey is an orphan,

separated from his mother
since the day of his birth.

[nonchalant keyboard music]

A soft cheesecloth pad

is his only companion

and his only comfort.

Once a day, the pad is
removed for cleaning.

He may die for want of love.

[cheers and applause]

[phone line trilling]

[phone rings]
Hello, we are unable

to answer the phone right now.

Please leave a message,
and we'll call you back.

[machine beeps] Hi, Mom.

It's me, Joy.

I'm just calling to see

if you wanted to do
something for Mother's Day.

Doesn't have to be a big deal.
We could go on a walk or...

-Hello, who's this?
-[Joy] Mom?

It's Joy.

Tell Dad I said hi.

[speaking Tagalog]

[speaking Taglog]

Do you need money again? We
can't give you any money.

No, I don't need any money.

I was just wondering if
you wanted to do something

for Mother's Day on Sunday.

Oh, Mother's Day.
[whispers in Tagalog]

[speaks Tagalog]

Your dad wants to go to
Sonoma Raceway this Sunday.

Oh.

It's the Sprint Cup Series now.

You know he has to see it.

Do you have to go with him?

[whispers in Tagalog]

Mom?

[speaks Tagalog] Are you eating?

[lively music]

-Hello?
-[phone] ...to make a call,

please hang up and try again.

Pierogies, please.

[overlapping conversations]

[resonant echoing]

[echoing laughter]

[echoing] More pierogies!

[laughs]

-[Director] Action! -[Joy]
Today is brought to you by...

Wait, what do I-- today's show--

Today's show is brought
to you by hugs, got it?

Okay, got it. All right, action.

I hug my family. I hug my dog.

I hug my best friend.

I hug a log.

-[Both] ♪ Hug a log
-I can't hear it.

-I can't hear it.
-♪ Give me a hug

-Cut!
-Sorry.

Can we make sure
her earwig is in?

Okay, guys, let's
just hold real quick.

Okay, we're going again.
Take 12 for Joy. Action.

♪ It's okay to hug your mom

♪ 'Cause she loves you
and that ain't wrong

♪ And it's okay to hug your dad

♪ Because he loves
you and that ain't bad

[All] ♪ It's up to
you, you, you, you

♪ To give a hug, hug, hug, hug

♪ And it's okay if
you don't want a hug

♪ That doesn't make
you a cold hard thug

♪ And it's okay to hug yourself

♪ 'Cause it shows
you love yourself ♪

-[Both] Yeah, love yourself!
-Cut.

All right. Beautiful, beautiful.

Ben? [muttering indistinctly]

No, it's great.
You're just so right

-for this character.
-Thanks, man.

Get out of that hot suit, huh?

Everyone eventually nailed it.

-You were great.
-[Joy] Dang it.

Thank you very much.
[indistinct chatter]

[tense instrumental
version of "Give Me A Hug"]

Hey, man, what are you
doing this weekend?

No solid plans, man. What's up?

I'm shooting a music
video up in the hills.

Sick ass mansion, infinity pool.

We need a black dude
for the hot tub scene.

-Oh, snap, for real?
-Yeah, are you down

to take your shirt off,
hang with some models?

-Hell, yeah, man.
-All right, man.

It doesn't pay
anything, but, uh,

they got an awesome EP.
It sounds so good.

-No, thank you so much.
-Hey, you killed it today.

Oh, thank you.
Blessings, blessings.

Great work, great work.

[Joy] I can twerk.

I took a pole
dancing class once.

I could be in the music video.

Monkey, come on.

I mean, you're too cute
to be a booty girl.

Hey, no, don't get mad.

Look, I got you
something, all right?

Hold on.

This is my promise to
you that you're mine.

You're the one.

Thank you. I love it.

Hey, are we still
gonna see your mom

this weekend for Mother's Day?

-I got a new dress.
-Shit.

That's the same
day as the shoot.

[sighs] I just can't pass up
this opportunity, you know?

Not at this crucial
time in my career.

Why don't you go see
your mom, you know?

-I love you.
-[engine turns over]

I love you!

-I love you!
-[engine roaring]

"Why don't you go see your
mom for Mother's Day?"

Pierogies, please.

[grunting]

Babe.

Babe.

Hey, babe, which one
of these headshots

do you think looks more "CSI"?

That one...

Or that one?

That one... Or that one?

-That one?
-Ah.

Hi, monkey.

[exhales] I'm gonna
make us some pancakes.

Pineapples and pancakes.

Up, up, up.

Nobody ever got
famous sleeping in.

You got pierogies.

I didn't want to.

Jesus Christ.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

I don't know.

I felt abandoned.

I promise I won't do it again.

Joy... God.

I got scared that
you don't really...

No, that's not gonna
work anymore, Joy.

You're the one, Ben.

I want you to be the one so bad.

Yeah?

Yeah? Did you fuck him?

We're done.

Ben. Please.

Get help.

-Bonnie, sex and love addict.
-[All] Hi, Bonnie.

[man] Rick, sex, love,
and fantasy addict.

[All] Hi, Rick.

I'm Maddie, sex and love addict.

[All] Hi, Maddie.

Well, I, uh...

This room is very special to me

because exactly eight
years ago today,

I came crawling... Uh, for
the second or third time

on my hands and knees
for help, right here.

My childhood was
fairly textbook.

Never knew my dad,
and my mom was either

working or drinking,

sometimes drinking and working,

and my brother
and I were starved

for her attention and love,
and she never gave it.

And sometimes we were
just plain starving.

I'd dig through the change jar

and go down to the
store to buy licorice.

That was the only way I
could get my brother to eat.

Never really learned what a
healthy relationship could be,

and I just sort
of started cycling

through one bad
relationship after another.

Alcoholics, addicts.

I kept thinking I could
fix them, change them,

make it all better.

And then, uh...

I married one of them,

and that brought me
pretty resolutely

to my very lowest low.

His needs, his happiness
always came first.

It was exhausting.

And the more I gave,
the emptier I became.

Then I found this
room and you people,

so I thank you so much
for letting me share.

Yeah.

-Joy, sex and love addict.
-[All] Hi, Joy.

Uh, this isn't my
first time here.

I tried a few of these meetings,

like, a couple years ago?

I didn't think I needed it.

I thought you guys were weird.
[chuckles nervously]

No offense.

Anyway, I'm back because
I guess I need help.

Proud of you for that.

Can't complain
about that, right?

Well, thank you, thank
you for everything.

Bye-bye.

Hi.

Hi. I liked what you said.

Oh, which part?

Uh, the part about
getting better,

about beating the addiction.

I'm still an addict, I just
learned to make better choices.

-That's a cute ring.
-Thanks.

I had one like that.

We get what we think we deserve.

Hang in there.

-Wait, will you be my sponsor?
-No. [laughs]

-No?
-I would if I could,

but I can't.

Oh.

Just keep asking.
There's a lot of people

in there who want to help.

Give me your phone.

You can call me if you
can't find anybody, huh?

And maybe I can introduce you

to someone who
might be a good fit.

Okay. Thanks.

[vibrator buzzing, Joy gasping]

[vibrator buzzing, Joy gasping]

[vibrator buzzing]

[front door slams open]

-I did it.
-Did what?

I got help.

Oh, Joy just stop, all right?

I'm an addict, Ben. I'm sick.

Yeah, that's a pretty
convenient excuse.

I... I like cereal.

Does that make me a
fucking cereal addict?

Ben.

You have two days to get
your stuff and move out.

[cell phone vibrates]

God, you're so fucking hot.
I want to marry you.

I like you so much.

Mmm. [inhales]

You want a beer?

Uh, no thanks.

[snoring]

[all snoring]

[water bubbling]

[exhales]

All right, so how
much do we owe you?

Because I know we didn't really
discuss all the, uh... Holes.

It's usually a little extra.

Here, I'll give
you a little extra.

All right, hey, thanks
for a great night.

I mean, Chad... [laughs]

The guy was in
beast mode, right?

He's gonna remember
this forever.

Who's Chad?

Jeez... The groom.

[snores]

Hi, Joy. It's Sam.

You missed your call time.
Logan's been thinking

about this a lot. He's
got to let you go, okay?

We'll put your last
paycheck in the mail.

[phone line trilling]

Hey, you've reached Ben.
Please leave...

Hey, you've reached Ben.
Please leave a...

[line trilling]

Hello, we are unable
to answer the phone.

[retches]

[spits]

[line trilling]

-Hi.
-Hey, it's Joy...

From the meeting.

I'm...

Will you pick me up?

Hey.

How are you?

I lost my boyfriend.
I lost my apartment.

I lost my job.

Oh, and I just banged
a bunch of random dudes

at the same time,
and I don't remember.

I don't know what to do anymore.

I think I need help.

You have any friends
you can stay with?

They're his friends.

Family?

No fucking way. My family wants

nothing to do with me.

I don't have anybody.

Why won't you sponsor me?

It's a huge commitment.

Please.

You have to save yourself.
I can't do this for you.

I know.

It's gonna suck, and it's
gonna feel impossible.

You're gonna want to give up,

but you can't.

You have to listen to me.

Anything you say, I will do.
I promise.

There's a guest house
at my grandma's,

and you can stay there for a
little bit until you sober up,

get your feet on the ground.

Thank you.

Thank you.

There are gonna be very
strict rules at Nana's house.

Rule number one: I
need you to go 30 days

without contacting Ben,

and that includes all
forms of social media.

-Rule number two...
-Sorry.

You should not be alone with
other possible partners.

No sex. No sexting.

No flirting. No intrigue.

No weird Internet stuff.

Rule number three:
no masturbating.

Rule number four: keep
going to meetings.

They're your lifeline,

and they will keep you on track.

All right, this
time is about you.

Just you.

-Thanks, Maddie.
-All right.

Yeah, all right.

Uh, the key is under the mat.

Nana's caretaker
knows you're here,

but please don't disturb him.

If you need me, call me.

But only if you really need me.

Okay.

[exhales]

Just 30 of these. NBD.

No big D.

Me time.

[phone] Hey, babe,
I'm walking home.

You know, I'm
thinking of picking up

a goddamn pineapple, huh?
Pineapple Fridays.

We should totally start that.
That's gonna be our thing.

Um, let me know if you want
anything else, all right?

I love you. Bye.

Hey, babe, I'm walking home.
You know, I'm thinking

of picking up a
goddamn pineapple.

Let me know if you want
anything else, all right?

I love you. Bye.

Hey, babe, I'm walking home.

[vibrator buzzing]

You know, I'm
thinking of picking up

a goddamn pineapple, huh?

[vibrator buzzing]

[gasps]

Pineapple Fridays. We
should totally start that.

That's gonna be our thing.

[moaning]

[exhales]

I love you. Bye.

[punk music playing distantly]

[distant melodic whistling]

[whistling continues]

[whistling]

[cell phone vibrates]

Please be Ben, please
be Ben, please be Ben.

[vibrating continues]

I can't do it.
I just feel so crazy.

I don't know how to
be anything but crazy.

I used to be crazy too.

I don't believe you.

Well, after my first six
months in the program,

I went right back
to my boyfriend.

That's not crazy.

And we kept getting
together and breaking up.

That's not crazy.

And then I started
working two jobs

so I could buy him a car,

which he totaled.

DUI.

And then we got married
while he was in prison...

And while I was
fucking my therapist...

And his son.

Okay, that counts.

[both laugh]

So, what are your hobbies?

Besides crippling anxiety?

I mean, what do you like to do?

A big part of recovery is
finding something to live for.

You ought to try things.
Read, learn... Play.

Get curious.

[snare taps]

[drums banging]

[drums banging distantly]

Excuse me.

Excuse me. Excuse me!

Hi. You can't play those.

I'm sorry, who are you?

I live here. You
can't play those.

Oh, Maddie didn't
tell me you live here.

Maddie's my sister.

Oh, hi. I'm Joy.
Nice to meet you.

Okay, great.

Now, please get
out of my garage.

[stuttering] I need
you to leave now.

My name is Jim.

[panting]

[moans]

[sighs]

Fucking shit. Fuck.

[guitar playing]

[door clatters open]

Hi.

[imitating slow drum beat]

[same beat playing]

Right hand on the high hat.

One, two, three, four.

[playing guitar riffs]

Don't squeeze them
with a death grip.

Hold them like baby birds.

Let them breathe.

Good.

Okay, now same beat,
please, and no showboating.

[drums playing]

♪ Salamander sidekick
riding out the storm

♪ Hell is raining sideways
and heaven's getting warm

♪ Cold, oh

♪ Cold-blooded

♪ Blood like ice

♪ Cold

-♪ Cold-blooded
-[playing drum fill]

-[Joy] ♪ I-I-Ice -[guitar stops]

What are you doing?

I said no showboating.

-I was backing you up.
-No, no.

You know what? You got to go.

Go.

[man] I think every woman I
date is the woman of my dreams.

If a woman is even nice to me,

I've already pictured
her in a wedding dress,

and when she does make
herself available,

I just want to go
find someone else.

Another fantasy.

[Joy] Thanks for
everyone's shares.

I really related to all of them,

so thank you.

Um...

My dad was obsessed with women.

Our garage was...
Covered in centerfolds.

Naked women everywhere.

And he watched a lot of porn.

Whenever I was home alone,
I'd sneak into the garage,

and I watched it.

I think I was, like, five or six

when I started doing it.

I remember, the first time
I watched it, I was like,

"I don't know what
the hell this is!"

But... My body felt crazy.

I wanted to watch
it all the time.

I looked at all those women...

And I thought...

"That's what I want to be.

That's who my dad loves."

I don't know, whatever.

Thanks for letting me share.

Hey, you didn't tell me

your brother lives
with your grandma.

He didn't bother you, did he?

No.

[sighs] Well, he's got real
problems, mental health issues,

and he's basically a recluse.

I'm surprised he even
came out of the house.

I saw him checking the mail,

and I introduced
myself to be polite.

No biggie at all.

Good.

Just leave him alone, and
he'll leave you alone, okay?

[slow beats playing
through speakers]

[knocking at door]

[funky music playing]
♪ Slip on a banana peel

♪ Slip on a banana peel

♪ Big old bunch of ripe bananas

♪ Slip on a banana
peel ♪ Do what you feel

♪ Slip on a banana
peel, do what you feel

[lo-fi music playing]
♪ You're not gonna

♪ Love me anymore

[acoustic music playing]

♪ Oh, my

♪ Beautiful world

♪ Oh, my boys and my girls

♪ I love you, I
love you, I love you

♪ I love you, I love you

♪ I love you, I love you ♪

-[water bubbling]
-♪ My beautiful world

[knocking at door]

♪ If you could grow some wings

♪ You might learn some things

♪ Wouldn't it be great
if you could levitate?

♪ Time

♪ Time travel

♪ Time

♪ Time travel

♪ It's not only way

♪ To get around, to get around

♪ Time

♪ Time travel

♪ Time

♪ Time travel, I'm a
supersonic seed for a tree ♪

[plays simple drum fill]

♪ Growing backwards
in the ground

♪ Growing backwards
in the ground

♪ Growing backwards
in the ground

♪ Growing backwards
in the ground ♪

[cheers in a whisper]

That was tight.

So good.

Holy shit, that was tight.

We got to record that next time.

Yeah.

My recording setup is pretty lo-fi,
you know, but it sounds good.

I can add some reverb,
dip the treble.

Yeah, yeah, verb the trebs.

What's your grandma like?

Nana? She's cool.

She basically raised
me and Maddie.

She takes care of me.
I take care of her.

It's a symbiotic relationship.

She likes watching musicals

and enjoys the works
of Shakespeare.

What else do you want to know?

I'm hungry. You want to eat?

Keep the change, my man.

Come on, let's eat
at the table inside.

Oh...

I probably shouldn't
go in your house.

I promised myself I'd only
go as far as this garage.

You really like orange juice.

I love orange juice.

So you're in 12-step
with my sister?

Mm-hmm.

Is she your sponsor?

Yeah.

Do you like her?

Yeah.

-Do you?
-What?

Do you like her?

Yes.

You're not hungry?

It's been really hard to eat...
And sleep,

and, like, be a human being.

Everything's a fucking trigger.

What does that mean?

Trigger?

Uh, something that intensely
makes you feel a feeling

that you really
don't want to feel.

It makes you react compulsively.

Oh, I have a lot
of triggers then.

Exactly.

The whole fucking
world is a trigger.

I know. I'm triggered
by everything.

I'm triggered by pancakes.

Pancakes?

My boyfriend...

Ex-boyfriend made good pancakes.

I'm triggered by
family, sad songs...

Pierogies.

I could see that.

What is happening right now?
What are you doing?

Nana taught us to do
that when we were little.

She said, "Cookies
don't create my fortune.

"I create my fortune."

And she taught us
that there are many

much better tasting
cookies in the world,

and we shouldn't waste our
dessert on a shit cookie.

Nana's amazing.

I know. She's cool.

You're cool.

I'm glad Maddie's
sponsoring again.

I didn't think she would.

Why?

Well, she used to
sponsor this girl Kelly.

She stayed here too.

Oh, really? What happened?

She killed herself.

[sighs] She was a
really nice person too.

Nana's about to wake
up from her nap.

Her naps are always
two hours long.

Not a minute less,
not a minute more.

How'd she do it?

What?

How'd she kill herself?

Oh, she just took
a bunch of pills

and passed out in the bathtub.

Pretty standard stuff.

[Joy] Hi, Kelly.

It's me, Joy.

I don't want to be weird.
I just wanted to say hi...

And I'm sorry, and...

I get you.

I'm gonna try harder for
the both of us, okay?

[folk music playing]

[humming]

♪ We dumped out your booze,
fixed the hole in your wall

♪ We buried your shoes,
we don't answer your call

♪ Mama gave up,
now we go it alone

♪ So Daddy

♪ Don't you bother

♪ Coming home

♪ Daddy

♪ Don't you bother

♪ Coming home

How did it sound?

I think we got it.

I can do it faster.

Do you want me to?

Hey, can I ask you something?

Why did Kelly kill herself?

How can I answer that?

I mean... Did you have any
sense of what was wrong?

No.

Did she give you
any warning signs?

Maybe she knew she
was terminally ill.

Maybe she was bored.
Maybe she got dumped

and was sad like you.

Well... Nana's still sleeping.

What are you doing right now?

[TV] I hope so.

Bobby certainly has taken
charge of those boys.

[Joy mocking] "I'm
just a helpless woman

"with no self-worth because
society says I'm nothing

"unless a man saves me.

"Save me, save me!

"Your breath smells like
farts, but save me."

"These mouth farts are
just for you, my dear.

"My mother never ever loved me,

"but you look just like
her so I'll take it."

[both giggle]

-Trigger.
-What?

Trigger.

Trigger.

[both] Trigger.

[laughs]

♪ It's okay to hug yourself

♪ Because it shows
you love yourself

♪[All] Yeah, love yourself! ♪

You like this show?

Love yourself.

-Happy-Happy loves you.
-I'm sorry.

You didn't say trigger.

That was Ben.

Who's Ben?

My boyfriend. My ex-boyfriend.

The hedgehog?

Yeah.

Your ex-boyfriend
is a fuzzy hedgehog?

You got dumped by a hedgehog?

[laughs]

Joy, come on. It's okay.

No, it isn't.

He's clearly a loser. You
could do better than that.

It's okay. It's okay.

Come on, stop being a
baby and just get over it.

I can't just get over it.

I wouldn't need to be here
if I could just get over it.

Yeah, you can.

Maybe if you weren't
so self-centered,

you'd realize the world
has much bigger problems.

So just let go and
move on already.

I'm sure he has.

You're an asshole.

[Joy] I am strong.

I am smart.

I am beautiful.

I am enough for this moment.

"I am Happy-Happy, and
I'm a fucking douchebag."

I am a good person.

I am a pizza.

[distorted knocking on door]

[knocking continues]

Joy?

You know, I can see you.

Joy, do you want a
popsicle that's made

of American flag colors?

I can't.

Oh.

I'm busy.

Yeah, okay.

Thanks!

[Jim singing in the distance]

♪ Dreamed I saw a
fork beat up a spoon

♪ Dreamed that you and I
danced in a summer swoon

♪ Dreamed I saw a
logo on the moon ♪

[knocking on door]

[whistles melody]

♪ Dreamed I saw a
logo on the moon

♪ Dreamed I saw a
fork beat up a spoon

♪ Dreamed that you and I

♪ Danced in a summer swoon

♪ I dreamed I saw a
logo on the moon ♪

[humming] [whistling tune]

[whistling continues]

Okay, let's get you out, Nana.

Today is August 19, 1998.

It's 1:33 a.m.

[guitar tuning]

♪ Honey

♪ Honey

♪ Baby doll

♪ Sweet thing

♪ Darling

I'm so sorry.

What are you doing?

-No one's heard these.
-Don't!

-They're gonna be buried with me.
-Don't do that!

So what do you think?

About what?

The song.

I thought it was beautiful.

Do you want to see something?

♪ Don't talk on your cell phone

[slow synth and bass music]

♪ When you're at the store

♪ See the people around you

♪ See that there's
something more

[music picks up] ♪
Give me, give me the

♪ Give me, give me the time

♪ I'd die for a paycheck,
die for a chance to shine

♪ Faster and faster,
further and further apart

-♪ Disaster, disaster -This is...
Amazing.

♪ Fucking a hole in your heart

♪ Kill your boob job

♪ Kill your video game

[knocking at door]

-Hey.
-Hey.

It's so cool you're keeping
up with the painting.

Oh, yeah, just messing around.

I was just dropping
off my nana's meds,

so I thought I'd check
in and see you're doing.

How you doing? [laughs]

I'm good.

No contact with Ben, right?

None.

No acting out at all?

Nope. Totally clean.

I guess I'll go see my nana.

And Jim.

Jim and I are taking a break
from each other right now.

My sponsor suggested it.

I am proud of you.

Thanks. [laughs]

[Jim] "Rough winds do shake
the darling buds of May,

"And summer's lease hath
all too short a date.

"Sometime too hot the
eye of heaven shines."

I need to talk to Nana.

Hi, Nana.

[sweetly] Hey.

Hi. It's Maddie.

Hi. [laughs]

[laughs softly]

[Joy] We could also
just be J and J,

and "All The Way" could be
the name of our first album.

Oh... I don't know.

I haven't really thought
about us as an actual band.

Kind of pursuing my
solo thing, you know?

Thanks, though. You're
a really good artist.

Let's start with "Here's
to the Trigger," yeah?

All right. One, two, one, two...

All right, what's wrong?

[drums bang]

Come on, Joy, what?

[plays gently]

[drums bang]

[playing slow melody]

[drums bang]

[sharp twang]

[playing drums softly]

[short ping]

[drums bang]

[soft, high notes]

[playing soft, fluid melody]

[melody fades]

♪ You've got a
finger on the trigger

♪ If I could be of use

♪ I tell you, life gets better

♪ When you slip off your noose

♪ So open up your eyes

♪ Get down off the chair

♪ Pick up your sticks

[both] ♪ Dance
like you don't care

-[tom-tom drum pounding]
-♪ Pound out your worry

♪ Kick out your shame

♪ Sing for the sinners

♪ Fly into the plane

[Jim whistling cheerfully]

[line trilling]

[music fades]

[doorbell rings]

So why do we need
to know about this?

Mom, I told you.

I just want you
to know who I am.

I want you in my life.

I've been working really
hard on being really honest

and looking at my patterns

and talking to people about it.

I'm not the only one.
There are other people

out there just like me
with the same addictions.

We all just want love

and intimacy and
connection, but...

We don't know how to get it
without hurting ourselves.

No one showed us how.

[inhales deeply] It's okay.

I'll make you spaghetti.
Your favorite.

Your Uncle Louie was an addict.

Couldn't stop buying hats.

[soft piano music]

I enjoy reading books, writing,

and playing the piano.

But most of all, I love dancing.

[cheers and applause]

[Joy] It was so crazy.

I could really see my
parents, you know what I mean?

They'll never be what
I want them to be.

I can stop expecting
them to be somebody else.

They're human beings

who have no idea what
they're doing, just like me.

One, two...

I feel really stupid right now,

like you're not getting it.

I get it, Joy.
I just want to play.

Do you get it? I don't
think you get it.

I get it.

-Do you though?
-I get it.

Do you even realize how
long you've been talking?

Oh. Okay.

Let's play now.

[pounding drums]

Are you acting out?
Is this acting out?

[cacophonous strumming]

Stop.

I get it, Joy! I get it!

My dad was drunk and left us.

My mom was miserable
and left us.

My sister won't talk to me.
I miss her.

I'm wearing my
underwear inside out

because I don't care enough
about myself to do laundry,

so, yeah... I get it.

This morning, I woke up thinking

I was holding someone's hand...

But it was just my other hand.

Sometimes I sleep with a
phone book on top of me

because it feels like love.

I can't eat Gummy Bears

because I think
they have feelings.

[chuckles]

You're my friend.

[chuckles]

Are you asking me or
are you telling me?

You're my friend, Jim.

I'm just saying.

Yeah.

You're my friend.

Weirdo.

You ready to play now?

Yeah.

I wrote a song.

[synth music playing]

♪ Hey Kelly

♪ Can you hear me?

♪ I'm really sad you had to go

♪ Wish you could have
seen things differently

♪ And why you're
gone, we'll never know

♪ Why she's gone

♪ We'll never know

♪ See, I'm living
in your shoes now

♪ See, I'm walking on your floor

♪ Trying to find the answer

♪ Why you don't
live here anymore

♪ Why she don't
live here anymore

♪ In another time

♪ In another place

♪ I think we could
both have a chance

♪ In another time

♪ In another place

♪ Oh, oh, Kelly

[both] ♪ Oh, oh Kelly

♪ Oh, oh, Kelly

[song playing over speakers]

What the fuck is this?

Maddie, we're just friends.

[laughs] I'm so stupid.

I came by to congratulate
you on all your progress.

[sighs]

What the hell are you doing?

Oh, so it's okay
to talk to me now?

Did you make sure your
sponsor's cool with it

or are you breaking one
of the rules right now?

You told me you were committed
to taking care of Nana.

Here we go.

If you can't handle it,
you need to tell me.

She's napping, Maddie.
She's fine.

If you can't do it, Jim,

we're gonna have to
put her in a home.

This is her fucking home!

Oh, you are so selfish.

This is about what
Nana needs, not you.

You have no fucking
idea what she needs!

You're so wrapped up in
your own personal tragedy

and your 12-step cult,

you don't see anything
outside of that anymore.

You've checked
out of this family

a long fucking time ago.

Joy, tell me the truth.

Are you two sleeping together?

You think you know
everything, but you don't.

Nana is doing
great, and so am I.

Not everyone needs saving.
We're happy here.

Oh, of course you are.
You have a new girlfriend.

She's not my
girlfriend, you asshole.

I don't even think she's cute.

You're self destructing.
You know that.

There are rules to
follow, and if you don't,

you will end up right
back where you started,

and it will feel so much worse.

I'm not like Kelly, okay?

You don't have to worry.

Hey, don't mind Maddie.
She's crazy.

[shouts angrily]

[shouts]

[muffled scream]

-Thanks.
-Mm-hmm, yeah.

-Have a nice day.
-Hey.

-Hey.
-[chuckles]

How are you?

Good. How are you?

Good.

-Good... Good.
-That's good.

[both chuckle]

I've, uh...

Been thinking about
you a lot recently.

Yeah, I've been
thinking about you too.

Um...

What are you doing right now?

Are... Are you busy?

Uh, no.

Um, I'm just
shopping for balloons

because I'm supposed
to love myself

-and do things like that now.
-[laughs]

-Um...
-Okay.

How about you?

I am getting some glow sticks

for Logan's warehouse rave.

Nice.

Yeah.

Yeah.

[softly] Yeah.

Yeah.

[both panting]

-[moaning]
-[exhales]

[laughing] Oh, God.

[panting]

[pants, laughs]

So what else is new?

[exhales] Um...

I'm in a band.

Yeah? [zipper zips]

Oh, cool.

Yeah, I'm, uh, you know,

glad we've both been doing
our own thing, you know?

I've got some stuff going on
too, so I definitely, you know,

I think we should
keep that going.

It's cute you're
in a band though.

Uh, you're not singing?

[chuckles] 'Cause we've seen
you at karaoke, 'cause...

No, I'm just saying, you know,

you always try to... Monkey...

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!

Your balloons! You...

Hey.

Hey.

I made this for you.

See you.

Who was that?

I have no idea.

What happened to 30 days?

I ran into Ben at
the party store.

I told him I was in a band.

And then you fucked
some random dude?

Yeah, I know.

I'm the worst
person in the world.

No.

But you're acting really stupid.

I get it. I'm stupid, okay?

Why would you even care?

I thought we were friends.

We're not friends, you idiot.
I love you.

No, you don't.

Yeah, I do.

No, you need to grow up.
You're a fucking lunatic baby.

Oh, really? Takes
one to know one.

That's what babies say.

You need to need
to fucking grow up.

Look at yourself. Look at me.

We ruin people's lives.
That's who we are!

Let's get out of each other's
lives and save ourselves.

I'm eating this cake.

[sniffles]

[sobs]

[line trilling]

Hi, you've reached Maddie.
Leave a message.

I'll get back to you
as soon as I can.

Hey, Maddie, it's Joy.

I relapsed.

Not with Jim...

With Ben and some other people.

You were right.

It's worse than before.

I'm so sorry for everything.

You've been nothing
but kind to me.

When I said I'm not like
Kelly, I just meant...

I'm not going anywhere, okay?

I promise.

Thank you for everything
you've done for me.

Sorry. Sorry.

Sorry.

Sorry.

[groans]

Not sorry.

[metal sizzling]

[microwave pops]

Jim?

[knocking]

Jim?

[musical playing
indistinctly on TV]

Jim?

Oh, hi.

Do you know where Jim is?

What are you watching?

♪ Peeking through her
window at me all the while

♪ Then I see her laughing

♪ And my heart beats out a mile

♪ It must be love

♪ It's the little waves

♪ That she slicks down her hair

♪ And every time
I see her I just

♪ Stop and stare

♪ When we finally rendezvous

♪ We live without a care

♪ It must be love

♪ It must be love

♪ It must be love

I gotta go.

It was nice meeting you.

♪ The love she has for me

[music continues indistinctly]

[loud taps]

What was that?

[tapping]

[tapping]

[tapping]

[tapping]

[tapping]

[music playing faintly
through headphones]

♪ We dumped out your booze,
fixed your hole in the wall

♪ We buried your shoes

[knocking on door]

♪ Mama gave up

Jim?

♪ So Daddy

♪ Don't you bother

♪ Coming home

♪ Daddy

♪ Don't you bother

♪ Coming home

Oh, let me help.

Thanks.

[grunts] All righty.

I know you're not like Kelly.

What was she like?

Oh, she was... Complicated.

And awesome,

and she had a great big
heart, just like you,

But she didn't have
the strength you have.

She was not gonna make it
through the darkest moments,

but I know you will,

I think about her all the time.

It keeps me going.

Yeah, me too.

[chuckles]

She was lucky to have you.

Thanks.

[engine revving]

♪ Ey!

[bright synth music]

♪ Ey!

[Joy] Pretty crazy how we can
go through a bunch of stuff

and not die.

Time doesn't exist,

and five-year-old you
is cheering you on.

[cheers quietly]

[woman] So, is there
anybody here today

who has one-month of sobriety?

[applause]

Congratulations.

Three months?

[applause]

Six months?

Nine months?

One year?

[laughs]

[applause]

Hey. [both laugh]

I did it.

You did it.

Now, the next time I see you

we're gonna have to start
talking about a dating plan.

That sounds terrible.

[laughs] Oh, it is.
And then it's not.

[exhales]

Listen, I want to thank
you for something.

Thank me?

Jim and I, we love
each other so much.

We've always been the
only other stable person

in each other's lives.

I almost really
fucked that up...

And we're so good now, I...

I just wanted to thank you

for helping me find
my brother again.

I love you, Maddie.

I love you too, Joy.

[both laugh]

-Please.
-Come on. [laughs]

[engine revving]

[Jim on radio] ♪
...slip off your noose

-[laughing]
-♪ So open up your eyes

Ah!

♪ Get down off the chair

♪ Pick up your sticks

♪ Dance like you don't care

♪ Pound out your worry

♪ Kick out your shame

♪ Sing for the sinners

♪ Fly into the flame

[whistling]

[Joy] "Here's to the
Trigger" sounded so tight

with the synth you added.

So tight.

Did you like the hand claps?

Loved the hand claps.

Were the sirens at
the end too much?

I would normally roll
my eyes at sirens,

but you layered them
in there so gracefully,

I hardly knew what
the sound was.

You're really talented.

Thank you.

How are you?

I'm good. Mm-hmm.

How are you?

I'm good.

How are you really?

[chuckles]

"How are you really?"

Good. I said I'm good.

I mean, you know, I missed you.

My music got so much
better playing with you,

and it was fun. [laughs]

I missed you too.

I play acoustic sets

at the Pig and Whistle
now every Sunday.

Nobody pays attention,
but I don't care.

And Maddie and her
boyfriend eat dinner

with me and Nana once a week.

Pretty cool.

Oh, I started making waffles

with the waffle iron
that I purchased.

That's fucking awesome.

It really is.

I think we're gonna be okay.

We are okay. Both of us.

[breath hitches]

[sniffles]

[exhales]

God.

[sniffles]

Ah.

You wanna play?

Yeah.

[playing rock music]

[both] ♪ Play it too cool,
you'll freeze yourself

♪ Play it too tight
and you'll snap

♪ Play it too loose
and you'll come undone

♪ 'Cause what you're
looking for ain't on a map

♪ You can stick out your thumb

♪ Chew cinnamon gum

♪ You can hop on a freight

♪ You can swallow the bait

♪ You can rub your lamp

♪ With a forever stamp

♪ You can get there in a dream

♪ But you need more steam

♪ Time

♪ Time travel

♪ Time

♪ Time travel

[both] ♪ It's not the only way

♪ To get around

♪ To get around

♪ Time is not your enemy

♪ Time is not your friend

♪ It's a mystery
that we can't see

♪ And it feels
like it never ends

♪ Like a bucket of sand
that pours through your hand

♪ So you hope for the
best and you bury the rest

♪ If you could grow some wings

♪ You might learn some things

[both] ♪ Yeah, wouldn't it be
great if you could levitate?

♪ Time

-♪ Time travel -♪ Time

♪ Time travel

[both] ♪ It's not the
only way to get around

♪ To get around

♪ Time

♪ Time travel

♪ Time

♪ Time travel, I'm a
supersonic seed for a tree

[both] ♪ Growing
backwards in the ground

♪ Growing backwards
in the ground

♪ Growing backwards
in the ground

♪ Growing backwards
in the ground ♪