Under Wraps (1997) - full transcript

™?♪

Now, Ben, Mom And I Have
Talked About It

And You're Gonna Sleep In
Your Own Room Tonight, Ok?

He's Such A Baby.

I'm Not!

[Mocking] Oooo,
There's A Monster In My Closet!

Shut Up, You Cow!

You Didn't See It.

It Was Big And Huge

With Hairy Arms And Sharp Teeth.

Oh, Please!



Hey, Molly, This Is None
Of Your Business.

Maybe He Could Sleep In Our
Room Just One More Night?

No!

C'mon, This Is
Ridiculous.

Ben, I've Told You
A Million Times,

Monsters Aren't Real.

Ok, I Believe You.

Monsters Aren't Real.

That's Better.

Hey, Honey, Go Sit
Down On The Couch.

I Can Take Care Of This.

Ok, Kids, Homework.

Watch Out. There Might Be
Monsters In The Living Room.

Shut Up, Molly!



Settle Down, You Two!

Aw, Shoot.

Yaaaaa!

Aaaaaah!

Am I Real Enough For You?

Aaaaaah!

Gilbert, Let Go Of My Leg.

Is That Your Leg?

I Thought It Was My Leg.

Don't Be Such A Wuss.
It's Just A Movie.

Yaaaaa!

Thanks So Much For
Bringing Me.

Now If You'll Excuse Me,
I'll Be Throwing Up In The Lobby.

Grrrr!

What Did I Miss?

You Missed The
Whole Movie.

You Know, I'm Not Going
With You Any More.

You Always Walk Out When The
Least Little Thing Happens.

Marshall, A Wartheaded Demon

Shishkabobed A Family Of Four.

It's A Horror Movie.

What Do You Think Happens
In A Horror Movie?

Horrible Things!

Ok, I Guess I Don't
Like Horror Movies.

I Like Nice Happy Movies

Like The Sound Of Music.

You've Got To
Be Kidding.

No. C'mon, It's
A Great Movie.

It's Got Singing,
Dancing, Nazis.

Well, The Nazis Don't
Sing And Dance,

Which Would Be Really Cool,

But It's Still A Great Movie.

Unbelievable.

And Leisel-- That's The
Oldest Daughter--

What A Babe.

Even When She's Wearing
Those Play Clothes

Made Out Of Curtains--

Gilbert, You're Starting
To Sound Really Weird.

Ok, Got It. Thanks.

So, What Are You Gonna
Be For Halloween?

Probably Nothing.

Me Neither.

I Mean, Think About It.

You Drape A Bath Mat
Around Your Shoulders,

Call Yourself Superman,
And Beg For Candy.

The Whole Thing Is
Pretty Degrading.

[Tires Screeching]

Mr. Kubat!

He Always Drives
Like That.

He's Gonna Kill
Somebody One Day.

Remember Last Spring When
He Ran Over My Bike?

He's So Creepy.

Yeah.

So Is His House.

You Deliver His
Paper, Don't You?

Yeah.

What's He Like?

I Don't Know. Uh...

What Do You Mean?
You Collect From Him Once A Month.

Does He Talk To You?
Is He Mean? What?

Gilbert?

Well, I, Uh,
Haven't Exactly

Gotten Around To
Collecting From Him Yet.

How Long Have You Been
Delivering His Paper?

Not Long.

How Long?

One... Two Years.

Two Years? He Hasn't
Paid You In Two Years?

Marshall, Wait.
Where Are You Going?

It's Payday.

No, Marshall, Don't.
He'll Kill You.

He's Not Going
To Kill Me.

Yes, He Is!

What About Patrick Ryor?

What About Him?

He Blew Up Kubat's Mailbox
With A Cherry Bomb

And Nobody Ever
Saw Him Again.

That's Because He
Moved To Toronto.

Oh, Really?

You Know, He Never Writes.

Marshall!

Marshall, Please, Don't.

Settle Down. Why Are You
So Afraid Of Everything?

I Can't Help
It, Marshall.

I'm Not Like You.

Wartheaded Monsters And
Creepy Old Men Scare Me.

I Don't Know Why.
Maybe I'm Just Human.

You've Got To Learn How To Quit
Being So Afraid All The Time

And Stand Up For Yourself.

You're Right.
You're Very Right.

But Can We Please Go Home And
Learn This Very Important Lesson

From The Comfort Of
My Own Bedroom?

Whatta Ya Say, Huh?

[Doorbell Chiming]

Ooh!

Mr. Kubat...

Gilbert, Here,

Is Your Paperboy.

A Job I Cherish,
By The Way.

Anyway, You Owe Him
A Lot Of Money

And We're...

He Has A Dog.

I Didn't Know He Had
A Dog. Did You?

Nope. New
Information For Me.

Run!

[Barking]

[Chuckling]

Aaaaaah!

Marshall?
Marshall, Are You Ok?

Yeah. You Wouldn't Believe--

Hey. How're You Doing, Sport?

Oh.

Hi, Ted.

How Was The Movie?

Fine.

Gilbert, It's Getting
Kind Of Late.

Maybe You Ought To
Run On Home.

All Right.

Bye, Marshall.

Bye.

So, Why Don't You Come On In

And Have A Seat And Tell
Us About The Movie?

Got Some Ice Cream,
And I Was Thinking

We Should All Spend
Some Time Together.

I Don't Think So.
I'm Really Tired.

Well, Ok. Goodnight, Buddy.

[Knocking]
Marshall?

Yeah.

He's A Really Nice
Guy, Marshall.

I Know.

Your Father And I Have Been
Divorced A Long Time.

It's Ok, Mom.

Ok.

Don't Stay Up Too Late, Huh?

He's Dead.

Who?

Mr. Kubat.

He's Dead?

We Just Saw Him Last
Saturday Night.

When Did He Die?

A Couple Of Days Ago.

The Water Meter Man Came
To Read The Meter

And He Saw Kubat
Through The Window.

Sprawled Out On
The Kitchen Floor,

Covered In Pancake Batter.

I Can't Believe It.

Man, What A Way To Go--

Killed By Pancake Batter.

Hello! He Died Of A
Heart Attack, You Idiot.

He Just Happened To Be
Making Pancakes At The Time.

Oh. Sorry.

Still, Poor Guy.

One Minute You're Making Yourself A Hearty,
Nutritious Breakfast

And The Next--
Bingo! Lights Out.

Hey, He Was Old. Organs
Failed. These Things Happen.

Now What About You? Are
You Eating Your Peaches?

Here. Eat All The Peaches.

How Can You Eat These
Things Anyway?

They're As Hard As Rocks.

You Just Suck On 'Em Awhile And Then They're Ok.

Now, Please, Finish The Story.

Ok. He Used To Work In Some
Big Museum In New York.

No Family. No Friends.
No Relatives.

Now, My Mom's Company's
Selling His House.

It's So Spooky.

I Can't Believe Anyone
Would Want To Buy It.

I Heard It's Full
Of Weird Stuff.

Your House's Full
Of Weird Stuff.

My Mom Collects Antique Dolls.

It's Perfectly Normal. A
Lot Of People Collect Dolls.

Yeah, A Lot Of Insane People.

My Mom's Not Insane.

She Takes Her Dolls
To The Movies.

So? There's Nothing
Wrong With That.

She Buys Them Popcorn.

Once! She Did That Once.

Mike Cazwell Said He Snuck
Over To Kubat's One Night

And Saw A Coffin
In The Basement.

He Did Not.

He Swears.

I Don't Believe It.

Well, There's One
Way To Find Out.

No, No, No, No, No.

This Is A Very Bad Idea.

Gee, Guys, I'd Love
To Go With You

But It's Just That
My Mom Won't Let Me.

Chicken.

I Am Not.

I Asked My Mom, And You
Know How Strict She Is--

Mrs. Anderson?

Call Me
Esmerelda.

Her Name's Not Esmerelda.

She's Role Playing.
Go With It.

Ok.

Esmerelda?

Yes.

Marshall And I Are Going To
Go Get Some Ice Cream.

Can Gilbert Come With Us?

Sure. Just Be Back By 8:30.

Thanks A Lot, Mom!

Ok, I'll Admit I'm A Chicken.

I Can Do That. I Have No Pride.

But Have Either One Of You Stopped
To Realize What We're Doing?

Breaking Into A
Dead Guy's House!

And On A School Night!

We'll Be Back By 8:30.

I'll Even Set My Watch.

Esmerelda?

You Have No Idea.

You Know, Maybe I Should
Just Wait Out Front.

I'll Be The Lookout Guy.

Sure. Go Ahead.

The Lookout Guy's Always
The First To Go.

Ok, Then How About I'm Just The
Panicky Guy Who Goes And Gets Help?

Gilbert, Shut Up.

Ok.

Excellent!

Uh, It's Spooky In There.

You're Scared,
Aren't You?

I'm Not Scared.

You're The One Who's
Sweating, Monster Boy.

Geek.

Loser.

Car!

Gilbert: Ok, This Was Fun,
But I Think We Should Go Now.

Look, Maybe We Can
Just Push It Open.

Good Idea.

It's Locked.

It's Not Locked.
It's Just Stuck.

Push Harder.

Marshall: I Think We've Got It!
Keep Pushing.

We've Almost Got It!
Push, Gilbert!

This Is Never Gonna Work.

Push, Gilbert!

Aaaaaah!

Grab Him! Gilbert!

Aaaaah!

Gilbert!

I'm Fine. I'm Ok. I'm Fine.

Do You See Anything?

What?

Look Around. Do You
See Anything?

Not Much. It's Pretty Dark.

I See A Staircase.

I See... Uh... No Furniture.

I Can't Hold On
Much Longer.

Ok, A Few Paintings, A
Mirror, And...

Aaaaaah! Aaaaaaaa!

What? What Is It?

Aaaaaah!

Gilbert! What Is It?

Aaaaah! Aaaaaaah!

Gilbert!

What's Wrong?

Nothing Really.

I'm Fine. I'm
Perfectly Fine.

But I'm Pretty Sure This Is What
A Heart Attack Feels Like.

Does Anybody Know Cpr?

C'mon, Gilbert.

My Glasses!

What?

What?

My Glasses. I Must Have Dropped
Them In The Basement.

I Am Not Going Back!

You Cannot Make Me Go Back!

What Was In That
Basement?

A Coffin! A Big Weird Coffin!

Cool!

Yeah, Real Cool.
Especially The Hand That Was Sticking Out Of It.

Oh, Man!

Mr. Kubat Must've
Killed Somebody.

So What Are
We Gonna Do?

We Go Back In The Basement
And Get His Glasses.

No Way!

Ok, Fine.

We'll Just Tell Your Mom You
Broke Into A Dead Guy's House

And Left Them There.

No. That Would Be Bad.

Then We've Got
To Go Get Them.

How? It's A Ten-Foot Drop
From That Basement Window.

My Mother's Got The Key.

She Does?

I Told You She's
Selling The House.

Wait A Minute!

If Your Mom's Got The Key

Then How Come We Had To
Break Into The Basement?

What Fun Is It
To Use A Key?

Exactly.

Oh, Man, It's Nasty In Here.

Let's Grab Your Glasses,
Check Out The Dead Guy,

And Get Out.

I Think I'll Just
Stay Here.

Hey, They're
Your Glasses.

I Don't Really Need 'Em.

You Know, It's The
Strangest Thing--

I Feel Like My Eyesight's
Getting Much Better.

That Must Be The
Basement Door.

C'mon.

I'll Be Waiting Up Here.
Enjoy Yourselves.

You Go First.

You Go First. I'll
Watch Your Back.

Have You Ever Seen A
Dead Person?

Oh, Yeah. I've Got Them Lying Around
In My Basement In Huge Stacks.

You Should Come
Over Some Time.

We Use Them To
Build Big Forts.

Yaaaa!

I Sit Alone In The
Hallway All By Myself.

Yes, Sir. This Was A
Really Stupid Idea.

[Heavy Footsteps]

Yaaaaa!

What?

You Scared Me.

You See, I Thought
That You...

[Grunting]

Aaaaaah!

[Grunting]

Marshall, Help Me Up!

[Grunting]

Do You Think That Will Hold It?

Nobody's Coming
Through That Door.

Trust Me.

Aaaaaah!

[Grunting]

Aaaaaah!

C'mon.

[Grunting]

It's Locked!

Hmmm.

[Satisfying Sigh]

Man, That Mummy Had To Go.

Run!

Uh... Guys?

[Grunting]

Thank You.

Come On, Gilbert.

Let's Get Out Of Here.

Can't Move.

Too Scared.

Blacking Out.

Ok, I'll Come Get You.

Now Hold Onto Me.

Nice Mummy. Good Mummy.

Ok, Gilbert, On The
Count Of Three,

Get Ready To Make A Run For It.

One...

Two...

Aaaaaah!

[Grunting]

[Watch Beeping]

He's Scared Of My Watch.

See. It's Ok.

It's A Watch.

It Has A Calendar, An Alarm,

A Stopwatch. You Can Program
In Appointments--

He Doesn't Want To
Buy The Watch, Ok?

Just Get Away
From Him.

He's Not Gonna Hurt
Us, Is He?

No, Gilbert. I
Don't Think He Is.

Oh, My Gosh. He
Smells Horrible.

What's He Doing?

What's He Doing?
What's He Doing?

He Likes Your Hair.

Must Be My New Conditioner.

It Attracts Dead Guys.

I'm Gonna Keep Him.

You Can't Keep Him.

Well, We Can't Turn Him In.

They'll Take Him Somewhere
And Experiment On Him.

What Do You Mean, Experiment?

Cut Him Open. Dissect Him.

Pack Him In Formaldehyde.

They Will?

Of Course. Didn't You See E.T.?

I Gotta Go

Or My Mom's Gonna
Come Looking For Me.

And I Don't Want
Her To Find Him.

Right. We Better Go.

Stay.

Stay.

Good Boy.

You'll Be Safe Here.

We'll Lock Him In The House

And Figure Out What
To Do Tomorrow.

We'll Be Back Tomorrow, Ok?

[Grunting]

He Talks.

That Was A Grunt.

It's Kind Of
Like Talking.

Hey, That's More Than My
Dad Says In A Month.

I Think He
Understands Me.

How Do You Know?

I Just Know.

Thanks For Finding
My Glasses.

See You Tomorrow.

Did You Tell Your Mom?

Of Course Not.

She Wouldn't Have
Believed Me Anyway.

What About Your
Mom's New Boyfriend?

He's A Big Guy--

No! We Don't Need Him, Ok?

Ok, Relax.

I Was Just Thinking Maybe
We Should Tell Somebody.

Well, I Was Going To
Tell My Mother

But She Was Having A Tea
Party For Her Dolls.

When She Does That...

Well, It's Best Not To
Interrupt Her.

If We're Not Telling
Our Parents

Maybe We Should Tell The
Cops Or Animal Control.

Or The Psychic Friends
Network Or Somebody.

No Way! He's Ours.

We Found Him, We
Gonna Keep Him.

At Least Until We Figure Out What To Do With Him.

Hey, Amy.

I'm Busy, Todd.

I Know, But I Was Just--

Todd.

I Was Just Wondering--

Don't Make Me Hurt You, Todd.

Ok. Ok. Sorry.

He's Got A Big Crush On Me

But It's Definitely Not
Going To Happen.

Why Not?

He Saw That Olsen Twins
Movie Twice.

How Can You Respect A
Guy Like That?

I See Your Point.

Hey, Amy, Do You
Think He'll Be Ok?

Maybe I Should Skip School
And Go Take Care Of Him.

Marshall, He's A Monster.

Monsters Don't Need
Babysitters.

Anyway, I Still Say We
Should Leave Him Alone.

He Could Be Dangerous.

If He Was Going To Eat Us, He
Would Have Eaten Us Last Night.

Mummies Don't
Eat People.

They Don't?

No, That's Zombies.

Zombies Eat People?

They Eat Your Brain.

Well, Who Cuts Off Their Head?

That's Banshees.

And What's A Banshee?

It's Like A Scarecrow,
Only Meaner.

What About Mummies?

Well, They're Big And Strong
And Completely Reek,

But Other Than That, You Got Me.

Well, If We're Gonna Hang
Out With A Mummy

We Need To Find Out
More About Him.

I Know Just The Guy Who
Can Tell Us Everything.

Bruce?

Hey, Bruce!

There's Nobody Here.

[Gasping]

That Looks So Incredibly Fake.

It Does Not.

It Does Too. That Blood
Looks Like Kool-Aid.

And What Is This?

A Chicken Bone?

Well, Excuse Me.

I Didn't Have Any Actual
Spinal Chord Lying Around.

You Guys Are Beyond
Help. You Know That?

Bruce, This Is Amy And Gilbert.

Nice To Meet
You Guys.

Hey, Did You See The
New Warthead Movie?

It Was Great.

Tell Me About It.

Much More Imaginative
Kill Factor.

Did You See Him Field Dress That
Highway Patrolman With A Spatula?

I Don't Care What Siskel And
Ebert Say, That Was Art.

Are You Guys Just Browsing Today

Or Are You Looking For
Something Special?

Actually, We Just Need
Some Information.

Information I Got Plenty Of.

Do You Know Anything
About Mummies?

Mummies? Why Do You Guys
Want To Know About Mummies?

We're Doing A
Report For School.

Really? And They Say The
Public School System Sucks.

Come On Back.

Let's See What We've
Got Back Here.

Ghosts, Astral Projection,
Vampires...

Ah, Here We Go.

"Mummy: Monsters
Of Modern Myth"

Hey, If You Want I Could
Read Your Palms.

No, Thank You.

No, Really, Palms, Tea
Leaves, Tarot Cards.

I Took A Correspondence Course

So I Can Read Pretty
Much Anything.

You'd Be Amazed What Varicose
Veins Say About A Person.

I Had My Mom In Here
For About A Week.

We're In A Big Hurry.

No Problem. I
Completely Understand.

Let's See...

Here It Is.

"The Mummy Monsters
Of Modern Myth

"Are Said To Be The Guardians Of The
Pharaohs And Queens Of Ancient Egypt.

"Buried In An Elaborate Coffin
Called A Sarcophagus,

"The Mummy Sprang From His
Uneasy Sleep To Rage Vengeance

On Whoever Dared Be Foolish
Enough To Disturb The Holy Crypt."

Blah, Blah, Blah, But
You Get The Gist Of It.

That's The Only Way They
Can Come Back To Life?

Why? You Got A Mummy You
Want To Bring Back?

You Know, It's Not That Easy--

Spit It Out, Bruce.
I'm Getting Old Here.

Ok. "Every Year During The
Festival Of The Dead--

You Mean Like Halloween?

Yeah. Just Like Halloween.

Except Back Then When You Trick
Or Treated, They Ate You.

"The Spirit Of The Mummy May Be
Freed By The Purity Of The Full Moon

"And Loosed To Walk The Earth.

"But If He Does Not
Return To His Tomb

"By Midnight Of That
Most Evil Of Nights,

"He Will Dissolve Into A
Pillar Of Dust

And His Soul Will
Be Lost Forever."

[Ghoulish Laugh]

Settle Down, All Right? It's Ok.

It's A Trick I Use When The
Spirits Are On Vacation.

See. Look. On... Off.

On...

Off.

Ooooh

You Guys Seem A Little Jumpy.
Are You Sure Everything's All Right?

Sure. Fine.

What's That?

That's The Symbol Of
The Eye Of Ra,

The Egyptian Sun God.

That's The Symbol On
The Top Of The Coffin.

Pardon Me?

Nothing.
We Gotta Go.

No, No. Wait A Minute.

Come Back Here!

Hey, I Distinctly
Heard The Word Coffin.

So What Are Gonna Do With Him?

We'll Just
Talk To Him.

About What?

Gee, I Don't Know...
Hi. How's It Going?

A Lot's Happened
Since You Died.

Wanna See Me Pick My Scab?

Get Out Of My Way, Leonard.

And Take Your Blanket With You.

This Isn't A Blanket.
It's A Rag.

I Carry It Around In Case I
Have To Wipe Up Something.

Yeah, Right. And I'm Not
Wearing A Bra,

I'm Wearing A Bulletproof Vest.

You're Wearing A Bra?

Oh, Shut Up.

You Missed The Big
Yellow Truck.

What Yellow Truck?

The One They Loaded All
Mr. Kubat's Stuff Into.

Bye.

Everything's Gone.

Do You Think
He's Still Here?

Who's Still Here?

Ah, Hi, Mom.

I Was Just About To Show This
House To The Michaels.

Mom, Do You Know What Happened
To Mr. Kubat's Furniture?

It Was Impounded.

Everything?

Yes. The I.R.S. Confiscated It
To Pay Off His Back Taxes,

But I Don't Think They're Going
To Get Very Much For It.

What Are You Kids Up To?

What About All The Art
Work And Other Stuff?

He Didn't Really
Have Any Artwork.

What Other Stuff Are
You Talking About?

We Heard He Kept A Lot Of
Antique Things In The Basement.

The Basement Was Empty
When The Movers Got Here.

Empty?

I Mean, How Very Odd.

There Were A Few Old
Boxes But That Was It.

What Are You Kids
Really Up To?

We're Doing A
Report For School.

On Mr. Kubat?

Gotta Go, Mom.

Hi. Welcome To Dairy Freeze.
May I Take Your Order?

May I Take Your Order, Please?

[Grunting]

Hello.

[Grunting]

Ok. Would You Like
Fries With That?

Ok. So That's Two Double Cheeseburgers,
A Small Fries, And An Orange Soda?

[Grunting]

Ok, Ok, Sorry.

A Jumbo Orange Soda.

Ok, That'll Be $3.74.
Please Come Around.

Ok.

[Burp]

Oh, Mommy, Look
At That Ugly Man.

Now, Sweetie, I Told You Not To
Talk About People That Way.

But Look At His Face!

Honey, It's Not Polite To Stare.

Now I Told You, Some People
Are Just Born Special.

Well, This Guy's
Really Special.

[Grunting]

I'll Be With You In A Minute.

Don't Get Smart With Me.

I Said I'll Be With
You In A Minute.

Fill Out These Forms, Please.

Ooooh!

Oooh!

Ooooh!

Oh No! Oh No!

Doctor! Doctor, I've
Got Our Burn Victim!

That's Ok. I Know You're
In A Lot Of Pain.

Oh, No. Looks Like He
Tried To Treat Himself.

Get Him On A Gurney.

I Can't Get A Heartbeat!

No Pulse! Code Blue!

Clear!

Ooooh!

Nothing!

Let's Hit Him Again!

Oooooh!

Where Are You Going?
Come Back!

We'll Probably Never
See Him Again.

Gilbert:
Thank Goodness.

Let's Cut Him Off.

Come On!

Where Is He?

Where Have You Been?

[Grunting]

You Know The Scary This Is,

I Understood Every
Bit Of That.

We've Got To Get Him
Out Of Here.

Marshall: We'll Sneak Him Into My House.

What If Your Mom
Finds Him?

Just Tell Her He's A
Foreign Exchange Student.

Well, My Mom Would
Believe It.

He'll Be Fine
At My House.

Ted's Over All The Time

So She's Used To Big Clunky
Guys Stomping Around The Place.

Come On!

Marshall?

Hi, Mom.

Hi.

Uuh!

It's Ok. It's Ok.

It's Not Real.

See?

Marshall?

Marshall?

Just Go. Go.

What Was That Noise?

What Noise?

Well, It Sounded Like "You Were
Coming Through The Ceiling" Noise.

Oh, That Noise.

Uh-Hmm.

We Were...

Clogging.

Clogging?

Yeah. Amy Was
Teaching Us How.

Right, Amy?

Go Ahead. Show Mom
What You Can Do.

Quickly, So She
Can Be On Her Way.

Wow! Hey, She's Good.

All Right. Ok.
Well, You Guys--

Aaaaaah!

Wow! This One's Good!

Is He New?

Just Got Him.

Not Bad.

Marshall, Dinner's
In 15 Minutes.

And Clean This Room. It's
Really Starting To Stink.

I Can't Take This!

Clogging? What Is
This, Hee-Haw?

Hey, It Worked, Didn't It?

Yeah, But Next Time

Think Of An Idea That Makes You Look Like A Dork.

Your Mom's Right. You've Got To
Do Something About This Smell.

Ugh, What Is That?

Hai Karate.

I Think You're Gonna
Need The Whole Bottle.

Oh, Don't Be
Such A Baby.

We've Got To Get Him Back
Inside His Coffin

Or Sarcophagus Or Refrigerator
Box Or Whatever It's Called

By Midnight Tomorrow
Night Or Else.

Stop It!

Stop It.
Put It Down.

Come On!

So, What Are We Gonna Call Him?

How About "Mummy"?

How About "Harold"?

Harold?

I Don't Know. He Looks
Like My Uncle Harold.

Geez, Your Aunt Must Be
Ready To Open A Vein!

Harold's A Good Name.
I'm Gonna Call Him Harold.

Fine. Whatever. But I Just
Want You To Know

Harold's Eating Your Goldfish.

Spit It Out!

Spit It Out! Spit It Out Now!

I Can't Take My Eyes Off
Him For One Second.

This Is Like Having A Puppy.

Yeah, A Puppy The
Size Of A Buick.

™?♪ ["All By Myself"]

Turn That Off!

Please, Quick, Before I Gag!

Stop It! Put It Down!

Put It Down!

Take Out The
Batteries!

Geez, He Must Really
Love That Song.

It's Empty.

That's The Way We Found It.

It's Not My Fault.

Then We Have A
Difference Of Opinion

Because I Consider It
Completely Your Fault.

It's Got To Be Stored
With The Other Stuff.

Then Find It.

How Hard Can It Be?

It's Not Like It Got Up
And Walked Away.

It's My Mom.

My Mom And Her New
Boyfriend, Ted.

My Parents Divorced
A Few Years Ago,

And My Dad's Been
Real Busy Lately,

So He Doesn't Come By Much.

It's Ok. It's Not Like It's
A Big Deal Or Anything.

[Laughing]

Ever Been In Love?

Probably So.

You Probably Got Married
Forever In Your Day.

But Now, Love Doesn't Seem
To Mean Much Anymore.

Most Of My Friends' Parents Are
Divorced Or They Hate Each Other.

I Mean, What's The
Point, Right?

I'm Going To Bed.

For Me?

Gee... Thanks.

[Growling]

[Grunting]

[Growling]

[Grunting]

Oh, No.

I Can't Believe You
Let Him Get Away.

What Am I Going To Do,
Handcuff Him?

Harold!

I Can't Believe You Guys
Talked Me Into This.

We Can Get In So Much Trouble.

If I Were You, I'd Just Worry About
Someone Seeing Me In Those Pajamas.

Did They Come Like That Or Did
You Have To Cut Out The Feet?

Hey, My Grandmother
Gave Me These.

Don't Tell Me You Don't Have Some
Embarrassing Pajamas At Home.

I Don't Wear Pajamas.
I Sleep In The Nude.

Uuh!

Oh, Geez, Gilbert, Grow Up.

You Know, We Should
Probably Split Up.

He Could Be Anywhere.

Or He Could Be Right Here.

We Shouldn't Be Here.
We're Going To Get Caught.

Maybe That Doesn't Mean
Much To You Two,

But I'm A Boy Scout And One
Day I Want To Make Eagle,

And That's Going To Be Very Hard
To Do If I'm Off In Sing-Sing

Doing Serious Jail Time.

Harold, Get Out Of There!

Leave Him Alone.

But He's Gonna Break Something.

"This Diorama Depicts The Entombing
Of A Queen And Her High Priest.

"The High Priest Was The
Bodyguard, Confidant,

"And Advisor To The Queen.

Sworn To Be By Her Side In
This Life And The Next."

Think Harold's A High Priest?

Looks Like To Me.

"The High Priest Swore
A Vow Of Celibacy,

Dedicating Every Waking Minute
To The Service Of His Queen."

What's Celibacy?

No Chicks.

Oh. I Could Never Do That.

You'll Get Used To It.

What's He Doing Now?

It Looks Like He Knows Her.

Maybe He Wasn't So
Celibate After All.

C'mon, Buddy, What Is It?

They Were In Love.

Dispatch, We're Going
To Need Some Backup.

Harold, We Gotta Get Outta Here.

He's Reading It.

Those Marking Are Just Like The
Ones In That Book Bruce Showed Us.

Yeah, The Ones That Said He Had
To Be Back In His Sarcophagus

By Midnight On
Halloween Or...

Or Else.

He Knows, Doesn't He?

You Do, Don't You?

Don't Worry About It. We'll
Think Of Something.

Cop: We Definitely Have A Problem.

Marshall!

I Think I Hear Something.
I'm Gonna Check It Out.

Ok. Keep Me Advised.

Whoever Was Here,
They're Gone Now.

Roger. Return
Back To Base.

Hey.

Hey.

You Look Awful.

I Was Up All Night.

The Only Way I Could Keep
Harold In The Room

Was To Let Him Watch Tv.

Harold Watched Tv?

Pretty Woman, Ghost,
Sleepless In Seattle,

Every Sappy Movie He
Could Get His Hands On.

I Swear The Guy Went Through
Two Boxes Of Tissue

And Then Started Using
My Bedspread.

Marshall, I'm Worried We Might
Not Be Able To Pull This Off.

Don't Worry. He'll Be Fine.

It's Not Him I'm Worried
About, It's You.

I Mean, You're So
Attached To Him

And If We Can't
Do This, Then...

He's Just A Mummy.

It's Not Like He's A
Real Friend, Ok?

Ok, I Do Care About Him.

I Know It Sounds Stupid,

But He Had A Home, A Job,

A Girlfriend He Really Loved

Even Though They Had To Keep It
A Secret From Everyone.

And Now...

Well, Now We're All He's Got.

He's Counting On Us.

And Nobody's Ever Counted
On Me For Anything Before.

I Can't Let Him Down.

That's No Fair, You
Stole All The Ammo!

I Got Ya!

Give Me That!

Drop It!

So It Would Help If You'd Stop Playing
Cowboys And Indians With The Monster!

He Started It.

What's That?

What's What?

That's A Mummy. Cool.

Yes, It's Very Cool.
Now Get! Go Home!

He Must Belong In That
Big Mummy Coffin.

You Saw It?

They Took It Out Of Mr. Kubat's
House And Put It In The Yellow Truck.

What Else Can You Tell Us
About The Yellow Truck?

Well, It Was Very Yellow.

You Said That! Leonard,
This Is Very Important.

We've Got To Get This
Mummy Inside His Coffin

By Midnight Or Else...

He's Not Going To Be A
Mummy Anymore.

Tell Us Everything You
Know About That Truck.

Quickly, Before I
Rip Out Your Lungs.

Did It Have Any
Writing On It?

Yes, It Did.

Good! What Did It Say?

I Don't Know. I Can't Read.

Ok, He's Dead.
Goodbye, Leonard.

Forget It. Let's Go.

If You Find Him, Don't Ask
The Guy For Any Ice Cream

'Cause He Won't
Give It To You.

The Erin's Ice Cream
Trucks Are Yellow.

Yeah, They Used To Have A
Factory Out By The Orchard.

We'll Take Him Out There
And See If We Can Find It.

How? If We Take
Him As Is

I'm Pretty Sure He's
Gonna Draw A Crowd.

Not A Problem.

We Need Clothes.

Big Clothes.

Big Cheap Clothes.

™?♪ ["Get Down Tonight"]

Aaaaah!

C'mon, Let's Get Outta Here!

It's Too High.

Then I'll Climb It.

And How Are You
Gonna Do That?

I Just Need A Boost.

Do You See Anything?

No.

These Stupid Binoculars,
They're Useless.

When You Get Your Surveillance
Equipment Out Of A Happy Meal,

What Do You Expect?

I'm Going Over There.

What?

Lift Me Higher.

Aaaah!

Uh-Oh.

Marshall?

Marshall?

Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

I'm Ok.

He's Ok.

I'll Be Right Back.

No, Don't!

Ok, I Assume Everything
Is In Place.

Not Really.

You Told Him To Meet Us Here?

Not Quite.

Someone Must Have Stolen It.

I Checked With The Other Moving
Company But They're Clean.

The Buyer's Coming Tonight.

He's Not Going To Be Happy
With An Empty Box.

Don't Worry. We'll
Find It, Mr. Kubat.

You Better.

Get Down! Shhh!

What Are You Doing Here?

Shhhhh!

Come On!

No!

They'll See You!

We Found It. That's
The Important Thing.

We'll Go Back And Figure Out
A Way To Get It Out Of Here.

Look. Don't Worry.

I Won't Let You Down.

Come On!

Come On!

Where Are They?

Aaaaahh!

Marshall!

Next Time, We're
Getting A Ladder.

Did You See
Anything?

We Saw Plenty.

So?

Kubat's Got
The Coffin.

What?

Marshall,
Kubat's Dead.

Uuuugh!

Yeah, Well So Is Harold.

And That Doesn't Seem
To Slow Him Down Much.

Are You Ok?

Are You Sure Kubat's
Still Alive?

Positive.

He Must Have Somehow
Faked His Own Death.

Why?

He And Four Other Goons Are
Going To Sell The Coffin.

What Are We Going To Do?

We've Got To Get Harold Back
Inside That Thing By Midnight.

Are You Crazy? This
Could Be Dangerous.

Kubat's Got Goons.
We Have No Goons.

All We've Got Is A
3,000-Year-Old Mummy

And A Pair Of Mayor
Mccheese Binoculars!

Then We'll Just Have To
Be Smarter Than Them.

And We Don't Have Much
Time. Right, Harold?

We'll Have To Find
Something Big Enough

To Haul Away That Sarcophagus.

Who Do We Know That's Got A
Car Big Enough To Do That?

Bruce. And I Know
Just Where He Is,

But We'll Need Costumes.

Costumes?

Boss!

I Just Seen A Bunch
Of Kids Run Off.

I Think They've Been
Pokin' Around In Here.

Were They Alone?

Not Quite.

Tell Me Exactly What You Saw.

You're Not Going To Believe It.

Try Me.

Naa Naa Na Naa Na!

Why Are You So
Sure He'll Be Here?

It's A Halloween Carnival.

Bruce Built The Haunted House.

He's Got To Be Here.

So, How Do You Like My Costume?

Well, What Are You
Supposed To Be?

I Know. Mrs. Howell
From Gilligan's Island.

Come On! I'm Dennis Rodman.

You Look More Like
His Sister, Mavis.

Ok, So You're Saying The
Feathers Are Too Much?

Yeah, Look, We'll Go
Inside And Find Bruce.

You Stay Out Here
With Harold.

We'll Be Right Back.
Ok, Harold?

How Come I Have To
Stay Out Here?

She's Not Even In Costume.

Gee, The Resemblance
Is Uncanny.

Shut Up.

Hi!

Aaaahhhhhhh!

Huh?

He Does Look A
Little Gruesome.

Maybe We Should Clean
Him Up A Little Bit.

[Grunting]

Don't Be Such A Baby.

They Look Like They
Really Like Each Other.

Yeah.

He Looks Nice.

Too Nice.

They Always
Are At First.

You Know, They Want To
Make A Good Impression.

You Know, Stepmothers And
Stepfathers Are The Only Adults

Who Ever Care About Making
A Good Impression On Kids.

They Can Do Whatever
They Want.

It Doesn't Bother Me.

Marshall?

If It Ever Does Start To...
You Know, Bother You,

You Could Always
Talk To Me About It.

I Guess, If
You Wanted To.

Thanks.

Let's Go Find Bruce.

I'm Thirsty. I'm
Thirsty And Bored.

Next Time,
Marshall Gets To Stay Outside With The Monster.

No Offense.

I Think There's A
Soda Machine Inside.

I'll Go Get Us Something And Be Right Back.

Don't Move!

Bruce!

Hey Hey, Marshall!

What Do You Think?
Not Bad, Huh?

Not Bad!

Oh, The Pain! The Pain!

Not Bad At All.

Bruce, We Have To Talk!

Aw, Later. I'm Doing
Killer Business.

Two Bucks A Pop.

Nice Snakes.

You Want To
Walk Through?

No, We Don't Have Time.

Bruce, We Found A Mummy.

Yeah, I Know What You Mean,
The Room's Full Of Them.

I Went To The Bathroom A
Few Minutes Ago

And Ran Into Four Freddy Kruegers,
Two Pinheads, And A Martha Stewart.

No, You Don't Understand.
We Found A Real One.

What Are You Guys
Talking About?

Come On.

Ah, Wait A Minute. I've Got
A Million Customers Here.

Come On!

I'm Making Big Money Here!

™? All By Myself ♪

[Grunting]

There He Is!

Harold, I Got You A--

Harold?

Harold!

Don't Make A Scene.

Get Him And Get Out.

Ah, Oh. This Is Bad.

This Is Very Bad!

Marshall.

™? Making Love Was
Just For Fun ♪

♪ Those Days Are Gone ♪

♪ Living Alone Is The
Hardest Thing I've Known ♪

♪ When I'm Dying To
Tell A Friend ♪

♪ Nobody's Home ♪

♪ All By Myself ♪

♪ Don't Wanna Be ♪

♪ All By Myself ♪

♪ Anymore ♪

♪ All By Myself ♪

♪ Don't Wanna Live ♪

♪ All By Myself ♪

Hello.

Thank You.

Thank You, My Loyal Subject.

Come On.

Get Up!

You're Embarrassing Me.

Have You Gotten Taller?

Where Have You Been Anyway?

I Turned Around
And You Were Gone.

Oh, Who Cares,

Dance With Me!

What Is That?

Hai Karate?

They Stopped Making
That Stuff Years Ago.

Usually That Stuff Disgusts
Me, But On You...

Baby, It Works!

Split Up!

You, Over There.

™? All By Myself ♪

There You Are.

What Are You Doing?

I Don't Care How Old You Are,

You're Not Drinking Around
Me, You Big Idiot.

Hey.

Don't You "Hey" Me!

We Gotta Get Outta Here!

We're In Big Trouble.
Where's Marshall?

Gilbert.

I Don't Want To Hear It.

Ok, So You're Not Harold.

So You Would Be...

Mr. Hammer, Your Principal.

Oh, No. I Just Smacked
My Principal. Not Good.

Not Good At All.

Bye!

™? Making Love Was
Just For Fun ♪

♪ Those Days Are Gone ♪

And You Want Me To Help You
Steal Back The Sarcophagus

And Return It To The Museum

So He Can Be Reunited
With His True Love.

I Told You He'd Understand.

Those Princess
Leia Earmuffs

Must Be Cutting Off The
Oxygen To Your Brain.

I Suggest You Two Take A
Nice Walk Around The Block.

It's True!

Of Course It Is.
You Kids Beat It.

I'm Trying To Make Money Here.

C'mon, Bruce!

™? All My Myself ♪

You Know, I Don't Even
Know Your Name.

[Grunting]

Oh, You're Right. Who Cares?

We've Found Each Other.

And That's All That Matters.

Ooh!

Harold, Is That You?

We Gotta Get Outta Here!

Where Are You Going?

Sorry, Ma'am,
We Gotta Go.

Who Are You, His Son?

No, Ma'am,
He's Celibate.

Well, I Don't Think So.

Phil, Who Is This Woman

And Why Is She
Hanging All Over You?

Excuse Me, But
Who Are You?

His Wife!

You're Married?!

What's Going On?

Oh... Phil?

Well, Of Course.

Well, If That's
Your Husband,

Then Who Is This?

Yeah?

Have You Ladies Had
Refreshments?

I Think My Mom Made
A Nice Cheese Log.

I Say We Just
Take A Look.

Oh, No, Ma'am, You Really
Don't Want To Do That.

Oh, Yes, I Do.

Hey, Boss. Look.

Hi.

Aaaaaah!

We Gotta Get Outta Here!
Go, Go, Go, Go!

C'mon, Get Outta Here!

Bye.

How Long Can We Hold 'Em?

He Looks Like He's
Getting Weaker.

That Must Be Because
It's Close To Midnight!

We Gotta Get Him Outta Here!

Bruce, Let's Get Him
In Your Hearse.

No Way! I'm Not Going
Anywhere With That Thing!

Did We Mention That The Guys
Chasing Us Are Heavily Armed?

Ok. Who Wants A Ride?

C'mon, Harold.

Harold! Come On,
We've Got To Move!

Harold!

If We Don't Leave,
They'll Get Us All!

Nooooooooo!

Don't Let This Thing Get Away!

We've Got To Go
To The Police.

Oh, Yeah. That'll Work.

Excuse Me, Officer. These Kids Have
Re-Animated A 3,000-Year-Old Mummy

And He's Been Captured.

Oh, By Whom, You Ask?

Well, He's An Old
Museum Curator

Who, Unfortunately,
Died Last Week.

Well, What Are We
Supposed To Do?

We Gotta Get Him Back.

I'll Understand If You
Don't Want To Help.

I'll Do It Myself If I Have
To, But I Can't Leave Him.

I Just Can't Let Him Down.

All Right, I'll Help.

I Have To Help. If Anything Happens To You,
I Lose My Best Customer.

Heck, Let's Be Honest.
You're My Only Customer.

But You've Got To Promise Me
Nothing Else Weird Happens.

I Mean, She's Not Like
A Vampire, Is She?

[Nervous Laugh]

Marshall!

C'mon, You Guys. We
Can Do This, Right?

There's A Guy Wandering
Around Out Front.

He Must Be The Lookout.

So, What Do We Do Now?

We Need A Plan.

But First We've Got To Figure
Out What We've Got To Work With.

Everybody, Empty Your Pockets.

We Have 87 Cents, A
Set Of Car Keys,

Three Chiclets,
And One Match.

Ok, We Got Nothing.

Wait A Second.

I Think This Will Do.

Gilbert, C'mon.

I'm Just Gonna Wait
In The Hearse.

What?

Look, I Like Harold
And Everything,

But I Can't Go In There.

I'm Just Too Scared.

It's Ok, Gilbert.

Don't Worry About It.

It's Ok.

Help!

Please Help Me!

Are You Ok?

My Eye! My Eye!

C'mon, Bruce,
Hit Him!

Body Slam!

Body Slam!

Grrrrrr!

We Gotta Tie Him Up.

You Got The Intestines?

That Ought To Keep Him Quiet.

Ok, You Guys Sneak Upstairs
And Create A Diversion.

I'll Run Around Back
And Try To Get Harold.

Wait, Wait. What
Do We Do Now?

We're Out Of Stuff.

You'll Think Of Something.

So, Have You Got A Plan?

None Whatsoever.

Why Does That Not
Surprise Me?

I've Got To Start Hanging
Out With People My Own Age.

I Came To Buy A Sarcophagus!

What Do You Mean The
Deal Is Off?

Let's Just Say There's
Been A Change Of Plans.

No, You Can't Do This To Me.

I Believe I Can Do Just About
Anything I Want With You.

Fine. I See Your Point.

Now We're Going To Keep The Whole
Thing Just Between The Two Us, Right?

I've Got It!

You Run Out In The Middle Of
The Warehouse And Yell "Fire!"

You're Kidding,
Right?

You Got A Better Idea?

Than Running Out There Like
An Idiot And Getting Shot?!

No, But Give
Me A Second.

Maybe A Little Fire
Isn't Such A Bad Idea.

[Grunting]

Harold, Are You All Right?

[Grunting]

Shh. They'll Hear You.

We Gotta Find Some Way To
Get You Outta Here.

[Grunting]

I Know. Kubat's Men
Are All Around.

[Grunting]

Now, We've Got To Find--

[Grunting]

I Know. It's Good
To See You Too.

[Grunting]

What?

Oh. Oh.

Sorry.

[Sighing]

I Gotta Find Some Way
To Get You Outta Here.

I'll Be Back. Hold On.

How Come I Had To Be The One To
Climb All The Way Up Here?

Because You're Taller.

That's A Stupid Reason.

I Can't Reach It.

So Lean Out Further.

I Found This.

[Growling]

That Was Close.

Don't Worry. I'll Get
You Out Of Here.

Aaah! Aaah!

Are You Ok?

I'm Fine. Good Thing They
Make These Things So Sturdy.

Yaaaaa!

Way To Go, Bruce!

Could You Have Possibly
Made A Bigger Mess?

Maybe Nobody Heard Us.

Move It! C'mon!

Hey, Come Back Here!

Come On, Harold, Pull!

Get Out Of Here!

Ok, Let's Go. We've Got
To Push This Out Front

And See If We Can Get It
Into Bruce's--

I Don't Think So.

I Guess I Should
Thank You.

I Don't Know
How You Did It.

I Mean, I've Read All
The Myths About Mummies

And Full Moons And
Festivals Of The Dead,

But I Never Thought It
Would Actually Work.

Why Don't You Just
Leave Him Alone?

Oh, I Don't Think So. He's
Worth Far Too Much Money

To Let Him Rot
In Some Coffin.

Why Did You Do
It All Anyway?

Fake Your Death
And Everything?

Well, Over The Years I
Was Able To Procure

Many Wonderful Artifacts

Such As Your Friend Here.

I Was Gonna Retire,

Wait A Few Years, Slowly
Sell Off The Pieces,

But, Unfortunately,
The Irs Started To Investigate Me For Tax Evasion,

And I Wasn't About
To Go To Jail.

And You Can't Arrest A Dead Man.

I See You're Already
Ahead Of Me.

[Moaning]

Harold.

I've Got To Get Him Back Inside This
Sarcophagus Before It's Too Late.

Please.

Oh, Believe Me,
It Is Too Late.

My Friends Will Go
To The Police!

You'll Never Get Away With It!

Get The Mummy.

Take The Rest Of Them Over To The Other Warehouse

And Get Rid Of Them.

Get Rid Of Us? You Mean
Give Us A Lift Home?

[Nervous Laugh]

I Didn't Think So.

[Motor Revving]

What's That?!

You Know, This Thing's A
Lot Faster That It Looks.

Very Noble! Now You All
Can Go Down Together.

Gilbert!

Gilbert!

Gilbert! Can You Hear Us?

Quit Yelling. I'm Fine.

You Have Caused Me
Enough Trouble,

So Take Your Friend
And Walk Away.

Leave Him With Me.

Marshall!

He's Not Gonna Do Anything.

He's Bluffing.

I Never Bluff.

Aaaah!

Yaaaaa!

Harold!

Marshall!

All Right!

Marshall...

When I Saw That Gun I
Thought... Well...

What?

Well, If Something Ever
Happened To You...

Well, It Didn't, So
Everything's Ok. Right?

Right.

[Moaning]

What's Wrong With Harold?

Harold? Harold?

It's Almost
Midnight.

We've Got To Get Him In The
Sarcophagus And Back To The Museum.

Bruce, Have You Ever Driven
An Ice Cream Truck?

He Wants To Say Goodbye.

Oh, No. Here We Go Again.

C'mon, Harold.
You Gotta Go.

Goodbye, Harold.

I'm Gonna Miss You, Harold.

Goodbye, Harold.

I'm Gonna Miss Him.

Me Too.

Why Are You Throwing
All Your Stuff Away?

I Guess I've Just
Outgrown It All.

Things Have Been Kind
Of Crazy Lately.

We Haven't Had Much
Chance To Talk.

Are You Doing Ok, Marshall?

I Mean, About Ted And Me?

Sure. Fine.

I'm Fine.

Ok.

Do You Love Him?

What?

This Ted Guy. Do You
Really Love Him?

Hmmm, Yeah, I Do.

Then You Should Marry Him.

People Who Love Each
Other Should Be Together

And Other People Shouldn't
Stand In Their Way.

What Brought About
This Big Change?

I Don't Know.

I Guess A Friend Helped Me See
Things A Little Differently.

But You Gotta Tell
Ted To Lighten Up.

Stop Being So Nice.

I Can Do That.

Marshall?

Up Here.

Hey.

Hey.

We're Gonna Be Late
For The Movies.

All Right, Just A Second.

I Told Amy To
Meet Us Here.

Amy's Coming?

Yeah. Why?

Does This Match?

What Is This, The
House Of Style?

How Would I Know And Why
Do You Care, Anyway?

Listen, It's Amy.

Yeah, And Your
Point Is...?

Gel. Gel.

Your Point's Gel?

What Are You Doing?

Marshall, Is There Something
You Want To Tell Me?

Like Have You Experienced Some
Type Of Severe Head Injury?

Leave Me Alone.

Hi.

Hi.

Nice Dress.

Thanks.

My Aunt Was Buried In
One Just Like It.

Oh, Is That A New Hairdo,

Or Did You Just Change
The Oil In The Old One?

Geek.

Loser.

Good. For A Minute I Thought
Something Weird Was Going On.

Hey, Wait Up!

So What Movie Are
We Going To See?

Warthead.

You've Seen It
Three Times.

And I Learn More About The
Character Every Time.

What's To Learn? He's A
Monster, He Eats People.

It Is Such A
Cultural Stereotype.