Uncle Peckerhead (2020) - full transcript
When a punk band scores their first tour, life on the road proves tough when they are joined by a man-eating demon as a roadie.
Gather around, everyone.
Please, Doris, Diane.
With this being Judy's last
morning with us,
I was thinking it'd be nice
if we could go around the room
and say what we appreciate most about her.
I'll start us off.
Scott, you really don't need
to...
Your scones.
Judy, your scones are truly a
revelation.
One bite, one crumb can send me places
I never before dreamt I could go.
Your flavor combinations are so refined
and, excuse my language, freakin' electric.
Look at me here.
I'm babbling on and on.
Doris, is there something you'd
like to say?
Sure.
Well, Judy, even though I wouldn't
feed your macaroons to my dogs.
I still respect your work ethic and
don't wish you any specific harm.
I am so sorry to cut this short.
Doris, a moving tribute.
I'm so grateful to have had the opportunity
to work alongside each one of you.
But I have to go now.
My planet needs me. Bye.
I thought her scones were shit.
Gary, come on, dude. That's all
wrong, dude.
The Quilt Queens? And the P...
whose P is that? Why is there a P...
Amir.
Judy, hi. As you can see,
we're busy today so what do you want?
As promised.
Okay. I'll listen to it.
Okay.
What? What? Why are you still
here?
Oh, uh. I see Shark Dick just
dropped off the Queef Queens show.
Very perceptive. What gave that
away?
Have you found a replacement opener yet?
Will there be a replacement?
I don't know. I don't know.
Well, you know, we could open.
Listen. I just, it's not a good idea.
I don't think that's...
Amir, please.
You said we needed something
recorded, so we made a demo.
You said we needed some experience, so
we are about to embark on our first tour.
Can you please, just please, listen to
the tape before you make a decision?
Fine, fine. Just leave.
Okay.
Just go.
All right. I'll call you later
today to see what you think.
If you call me before Friday
morning, I'm going to burn the demo.
All right. Friday morning it is.
Goodbye.
Kay. Hi.
Go. Leave.
Yes!
Morning.
It's 4 o'clock in the afternoon.
Mel. Mel!
This place is still a sty. I thought you
two were gonna clean it while I was gone.
I had to replace all my drum
heads.
I started to clean
but then I needed to get high
cause I hate cleaning.
But then I got tired
cause weed makes me sleepy.
Then I needed to sleep, so I
slept.
I'm sorry.
Band meeting. Kitchen.
Let's go. Up, up, up!
Okay. So... jobs quit, bags packed, merch
boxed, guitars strung, drum heads replaced.
Tour route mapped.
Six shows, seven days, with the possibility
of a seventh show back here with...
Mel, drum roll, please.
The Queef Queens.
The House of Independents show?
The very same.
Shutup.
No way.
Yes, way. And we all know who
drums for the Queef Queens, right?
No.
Yes. Jenn Jennings.
And we all know Jenn Jennings'
claim to fame, right?
No.
Also, no.
She is owner, operator of
Alliteration Records.
Oh, man. Alliteration has such
an awesome roster of bands.
Yeah.
In the past year alone, they've put out
the Brain Busters LP, the Acid Cat EP,
and two seven inches from Turd
Toilet.
And the soon to be released
debut album from DUH.
Precisely.
We open for the Queef Queens.
Jenn Jennings sees us, Jenn
Jennings loves us.
I give Jenn Jennings our demo.
Jenn Jennings offers us a record
deal.
We no longer have to work shit
jobs
and we just get to tour and make
music for the rest of our lives.
Fuckin' A. Yeah!
I wouldn't celebrate just yet,
or ever.
Life has a way of dangling these
small carrots of opportunity
in front of our faces,
ready to completely destroy and
dismantle any hope in sight.
The world is chaos. And, though
together, we are alone to suffer.
Okay. Everybody up. Up, c'mon.
We're going on tour, yeah! We're going
on tour, yeah! We're going on tour, yeah!
Okay. Max.
I don't want us to look like a bunch
of amateurs on our very first tour,
so let's practice some stage
banter.
Right now?
Yes.
Why?
Because you suck at talking.
Mm-hm. Let's role play.
Pretend we just finished our
first song.
What would you say?
Okay. Uh... hi, I'm Max and I'm
here to say, uh
we're in the band DUH,
and we're playing right now.
And, um... we hope you all like
music...
Um... our music, uh, cause,
you know, music's special, um,
and you're special
for being here with us tonight.
Okay. Please stop.
Why? What's wrong with
that... Whoa!
Yikes.
Aw. Jesus, Max. Are you okay?
Yeah, all good. Face broke the
fall.
Aw.
Now, where is the van?
Huh. Uh... oh, I see it.
Shit.
No, no, no. Stop!
Do not get in that van! I'm coming!
That's weird. Do we know those
guys?
The van's getting repoed,
dumbass.
Please, don't!
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Goddammit!
My one-hitter was in there.
Fuck.
Why is this happening?
Guys, we can fix this.
We can. I think. Probably.
I warned us last night.
The world is cruel and unforgiving.
Shit.
Now that I think about it, the
creditors were calling a lot last week.
Fuuuuuuu...
Okay. Last one.
Say a little prayer.
Now, the waiting game.
Hey!
Keep walking.
Hey, is this you?
You the kids that just tagged my
windshield?
Uh... yes.
That is my property.
You are soliciting on private property.
We're sorry, sir.
Mm-hm.
Now, what's the meaning of this?
Okay. We didn't know you were in
there, so I'll just take this...
Now, what do you guys need a van
for?
Cause of the man, man.
Yeah. And we need it pronto
so that our band can go on tour.
You guys are in a band?
Yeah.
Oh shit. You guys rip?
Well, I believe we do. Yeah.
Oh. Right on.
Well, does that mean
that we can borrow your van?
Well, no.
Full disclosure, that van back there also
happens to be my home for the moment.
You see, in this cut-throat,
capitalistic world in which we now live,
your boy has fallen on hard
times.
The game is rigged and I am but
a casualty.
A victim.
But I am hopeful.
Hey. I can drive y'all.
I can roadie, too. I mean, every
touring band needs a roadie. Don't they?
Ju... just throw me a few bucks
and pay for gas and what-not.
Well, we could leave right now.
What do you say?
Um, not that I care, but who is
the man driving the mystery van?
Oh. That's, um...
Sorry, I didn't get your name.
My name's Peckerhead.
What?
Peck-er-head.
That is not your name.
Well, that is what my daddy
called me til the day he died.
Peckerhead's giving us a ride in
his van.
You can call me Peck.
My friends call me Peck.
I'll stick with Peckerhead.
Thanks.
Ladies' choice.
Well, Peck, on behalf of the entire band,
it is wonderful to have you on board.
And now it's tour time.
Hey.
Hey. Uh, we're running a little late
and I don't wanna piss off the promoter.
Any chance you could go, I don't
know, like,
ten miles above the speed limit
when we're back on the road?
I'm afraid not, Judy pie.
You see, this highway is teeming with patrolmen
who wouldn't take kindly to a bunch of punks.
Yo. Find anything, detective?
All aboard.
Locked?
Glad we hauled ass.
I thought load-in was at 5:00?
That's what the promoter said.
So, how did you guys come up
with the name DUH?
Uh, James Taylor was already
taken.
Someone's here.
Um, hello, sir.
You with the band?
Uh, yeah. Judy. Hi.
Uh, we spoke over the phone.
Okay.
Anything else I can help you
with?
Um... well, uh, should we start
to load in?
Sure. Whatever.
It's not like there's a rush.
Sound guy doesn't get her til 9:00 and,
uh, you're the only band booked tonight.
What? I thought this was a
showcase.
Uh, yeah. And your band is being
showcased.
How much material do you have
prepared?
Can you handle three hours with
a 15 minute break between sets?
Uh... we have 20 minutes
of original material.
22 with a Misfits cover.
Are you kidding me?
I don't know where we're
supposed to plug in.
Whoa!
(SOUND GUY)
I didn't say to stop, drummer.
(SOUND GUY)
Stop!
(SOUND GUY)
Alright, bass, you're up.
(SOUND GUY)
We check vocal mics first.
Test. One, two, three.
Test. One, two, three. Test.
Uh, yeah. Can I just get a little
bit more of her in my monitor?
I can't hear anything.
Um... test. One, two.
Test. One, two.
Uh, yeah...
Hey, just remember what we
worked on. Okay?
You got this.
Hi. Uh...
Fuck it. Let's just play.
What's this?
Your cut.
It's three dollars.
Yeah, a dollar a head.
What the fuck am I gonna do with
three dollars?
I don't know.
Invest in a better band? See ya.
Careful.
Well, I thought y'all did just
great.
How much cash we rake in?
Shutup.
Like, what's the point of paying
us at all?
That brings our total funds to
$11.
Great. We're screwed.
Mm-hm.
I guess we have to take justice
into our own hands.
Stand down, McClane.
Fuck.
(MEL)
Chaos, man. Fucking chaos.
Hey, what time is it?
Almost midnight.
Let's just get out of here. Hmm?
Yeah.
I'm just gonna use the bathroom
before we hit the road.
Yeah. Make sure you piss and shit
all over while you're in there.
Roger that.
Just wash your hands.
Man. Peck must be going to town
in there.
Should I poop, too?
Hello?
Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.
Get in the van. We're leaving.
What is it?
Where are the keys to the van?
I don't know.
I think Peck has them. Why?
Oh, hey. Uh, what are y'all
carrying on about?
Stay the fuck back!
Whoa. What the fuck is going on?
Oh, no. It's all right.
It's all right.
You know, Judy just got spooked
because
she caught me roughing up
that promoter man back there.
- He killed him.
- What?
He's a fucking monster.
Now, let's not resort to
name-calling.
Did you really kill the promoter?
Is that true?
Yes!
Of course not.
Then why the fuck would she say
that?
Hell if I know.
All I wanted was just to give him
one good pop before we hit the road.
There were pieces of him everywhere.
He's dead.
Oh, I beg to differ.
He is very much alive.
I saw it. He was eating him
and...
He's alive.
Dead.
Alive.
Dead.
Alive.
D-E-A-D.
All right, everyone. Shut up!
Okay. I'm gonna go check it out.
Okay. Wait.
You may not want to go in there.
Eww.
Y'all said he had it coming.
Where's his head?
Goddamn.
All right, y'all. C'mon.
We gotta hit the road soon.
We got other towns to rock and
what-not.
We need to get his keys and go.
Okay.
Guys?
It's really fucked up in there.
Where's the key to the van?
Oh! Now I'll admit, an explanation
is owed but that is my van out there.
Now let me buy you some dinner
and then if you still feel that
I'm in the wrong,
we can unload your stuff
and go our separate ways.
Mmm?
No.
Go ahead. Eat up.
It's... it's on me.
I guess I should open with an
apology.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I murdered the hell
out of that promoter man
before I had the chance to run
it by y'all.
And I guess I should have been more
forthcoming about my condition.
And exactly what condition would that
be, Peckerhead?
Well, every night at midnight
I turn into some thing.
Now I don't know what that thing
is.
I honestly can't remember
how or when it started,
but it only lasts for thirteen
minutes.
And then I'm fine.
Fine? You killed and ate a man.
Please, keep it down.
Okay. I did, yes.
Right. And, uh, who's to say it
wouldn't be one of us next time?
One of my band mates?
Shit, no.
I... I am in complete control.
Control. Okay.
Hey, Peck, do you have diabetes.
No, why?
I thought so.
What's that?
You know exactly what this is.
I found this in his glove
compartment earlier today.
So you're on smack, too.
Aw Peck. Say it ain't so.
Now, now hold the phone.
You think that, that I use
this for shooting dope? Hardly.
How do you think I control this
thing, huh?
I use this to sedate myself every
night to keep the beast at bay.
Sorry.
Why wasn't the beast kept at bay
tonight?
For, for one thing
I didn't think it was right
for some joker to take advantage
of my friends like that.
And when I saw how worried Judy
was about getting to the next show,
what with lack of funds for gas and
food, well, I had to do something.
So I stuck up for all of us.
By eating him.
I realize that some might think
that that's an extreme response,
but how else were we gonna to
get paid?
Well, we didn't get paid, so.
Yeah.
Au contraire.
Holy shit.
There's enough here for gas and
food, maybe even a shower.
I understand how scary that must
have looked.
But I got this. Hmm?
Please? It won't happen again.
Thank you.
I'm going to go pay for this.
I'll be right back.
No.
Come on, Judy. I think we
should give him another chance.
No. He is literally a man-eating
monster.
A monster who killed an asshole promoter that
fucked us and a ton of other bands, too.
Yeah.
No.
Look, Judy.
He said it wouldn't happen again.
He called us his friends.
No.
All right. Let's take a vote.
All in favor to let Peck stay on with
us for the time being, raise 'em.
Sun's up, darling, not a monster
in sight.
What are we gonna do?
Uh, continue to let him drive us
around.
And pay for two star hotel rooms
and gas and snacks and...
I'm not kidding.
What was it like last night?
With Peck?
Yeah.
Fucking horrific.
I mean, you saw the aftermath.
No no no, I mean like what did
he look like?
Like, did he get like all ripped
like Incredible Hulk
or did he like turn into a sexy
panther like in Cat People?
No. No, nothing like that.
He was just like a paler, uglier
version of himself if you can imagine.
It's tough.
Aren't you the slightest bit worried
that he could turn on one of us?
Mmm. No.
I mean he seems to have a system
in place.
Or maybe, I just don't fear
death anymore.
Oh. Cool.
Hey Peck,
can I ask you a question?
Sure buddy. What's up?
What do people taste like?
Oh, well. That's tough to say.
You know, some people taste like
dog shit.
And then other people taste
like watermelon sherbet.
Hmm. Sounds like a metaphor for
humanity.
That's deep, dude.
What is the cheapest van on your
lot?
Uh, what about to rent?
Okay, what is the cheapest
vehicle you have that runs?
Jesus. Okay.
Do you know of any other numbers
that I should try?
Yes. No, I already tried them.
That is how I got your number.
So.
Um, okay. Thank you. Goodbye.
House of Independents, this is
Amir.
Amir, hi. Uh, this is Judy, from
DUH.
Uh, I know I'm calling
a little bit earlier than...
Judy. I said Friday. Goodbye.
Oh, hey Peck, wait.
Oh, good morning, miss.
Uh, I was just gonna get some
joe.
Can I grab you a cup?
No. But, can I borrow the keys
to the van?
Oh sure.
Ah, nice try Judy pie but I'm just
going to hold on to these bad boys, huh?
I'll be right back.
God, come on, Judy. We've done nothing
but listen to your music the whole time.
Yeah, because my mixes rule,
your mixes honk.
No they don't.
Every one of my tapes is
carefully curated.
Each one tells a story.
Yours are so one note, Max.
You have even been known to put
the same song twice on one side.
Who does that?
Me!
No!
Give it to me!
Suck my clit.
All right, all right, all right
now.
Ya'll quit it.
Now the rules of the road dictate that the
driver is in charge of picking the music.
Now Judy, you had yesterday.
Max, you've got today and then Mel,
you can have tomorrow if you want it.
Nothing matters.
Max, will you do the honors?
For a band named Pissface
this is a real quaint HQ.
How do you know these guys?
Uh, guy.
And I don't.
I came across their demo last year and I
just cold called the number on the back.
You got gumption to the gills,
girl.
How do we know that Pissface
isn't a bunch of creeps?
Well, I talked to their bassist
Nick a couple times on the phone.
Seems like a little bit of a goon,
but kind of like a harmless goon.
Judy?
Hey. I'm Nick.
Oh, um. Hi.
Really nice to meet you.
So, I know it's a bit cramped,
but you guys can crash in my room.
You can probably fit two in the bed
and then we have some sleeping bags
for whoever wants to crash on
the floor.
Are you sure that it's cool that
we're taking over your space?
Yeah, yeah totally.
So I'll let you guys relax and
decompress,
um, but I was thinking maybe later we
could grab some beers, go swimming?
Oh man. I bet you can do a sick
jackknife.
Well, you'll have to wait and
see.
I can't wait.
Okay. Great.
Um, make yourselves at home.
I'm sorry, is it just me,
or is he not one of the most beautiful
men we have ever laid eyes on?
I know, right?
He's okay.
He's like a baby deer or
something.
Yeah, like a baby deer with
perfect teeth.
- Ohh!
- Damn!
Mm-hmm.
You better fuck that guy.
Jesus, Mel. Shhh.
Are you guys talking about
blowjob eyes?
(Max)
Yup.
What a fucking babe.
You know, he reminds me of this camp
counselor I used to have back in the day.
Same emerald green eyes, same
impeccable jawline, same inviting smile.
He used to just sit next to me
at lunch.
He would just sit down and he
would run his...
(Mel)
Ew!
Max, have some decency.
What?
Oh, ew.
Whew. Lookin' good, Maxy boy.
Do it again.
Hit me with it.
Hey.
Hi.
Mind if I join you?
Cheers.
Cheers.
Hey Nick, watch this.
Good one, dude.
Thanks!
Max is an odd duck, huh?
Oh yeah. Yeah.
So I'm pretty stoked about the
show tomorrow.
Mmm. Me too.
Yeah. I've listened
to your band's demo nonstop.
I was actually pretty nervous
to meet you guys today.
Oh really?
Yeah. I mean after talking to you on the
phone I didn't think you'd be so cute.
- Not that I didn't think that you would be cute...
- Mm-hmm.
Ah. Or attractiveness was the
only quality that I thought about.
I don't really know what I'm
saying right now.
I'm sorry, I'm rambling.
No, please. Ramble away.
I just think that you are cool.
And pretty.
And your band kicks ass.
Nah, no, no. No beer.
More rambles.
Um.
You're cute, too.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Hate to interrupt y'all,
but it's almost midnight.
It's time for my insulin.
Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.
Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck...
Hey.
Everything okay?
Yup. Just tucked Peck in for the
night.
Ah. He knows he doesn't need
to sleep in the van, right?
Mmm. No, he does.
Okay.
Well.
Well.
Do you need to borrow a shirt?
Uh. Nah, nah. I'm good.
Headed to bed?
Yeah. Everyone else seems to have headed
to their respective sleeping quarters to...
sleep.
Um, well, if you wanted we could
just sit around here and talk.
Yeah. That sounds nice.
We could... talk.
Aw fuck yeah, fuck yeah,
fuck yeah, fuck yeah, fuck yeah.
Ah. Ah. Ah. Mmm. Ah. Oh.
Yeah. Oh. Yeah.
Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh
shit I'm cumming.
What? No!
Oh, I came so hard.
Uh, uh. Fuck, I came so hard.
What? Goddamnit.
Uh. Hey, where are you going?
Hmm?
(MEL)
Is it too early to open a beer?
(MEL)
Oh my god, Max.
Nick, what's your favorite
potato chip flavor?
Uh, sour cream and onion, bro.
I like gummy worms.
(All)
Morning.
What's with all the commotion?
Peck made scones for everybody.
You bake.
Aw, I dabble.
Aw, don't be so modest Peck.
These are the best scones
I've ever had in my entire life.
Mmm. Mmm.
Ah, fuck yeah, ah.
Mmm. Mmm.
Well, thank you kindly,
Nicholas.
(MEL) No, seriously.
You should try one.
They give your babies a run for
their money.
Hot damn.
Judy, you bake?
Mm-hmm.
We should swap recipes sometime.
Mmm. Pass.
You should really try one.
Mmm. Goddammit.
You smoke?
I do.
Ooh. Thank god.
Can I uh, bum one of those?
Shiloh. Dominion Rising.
We're uh, headlining this little
thing.
Judy. DUH.
Oh, the opener.
Nice.
Actually, we're going second to
last. So.
And what do you play?
Co-vocalist and bass...
That's cute.
I'm the sole vocalist. Lyricist,
too.
In addition I also write
most of the music for the band.
Cool. That must be, um...
I guess you could call our music
a meditation on love and loss.
But, ultimately I think it's
just about the human experience.
I mean, don't get me wrong,
it's not all raw emotion.
We can get super political too.
Our last track was about Laos.
What about it?
You're kidding right?
So, are you guys on tour or
what?
Yeah.
Actually, uh, this is our
first...
Us too.
Yup. Four days. For now.
I gotta tell you though,
the gig life, not easy.
When you guys get there you'll
see.
It's not the romantic adventure
you thought it would be.
That's good actually.
♪ When you get there and you see ♪
♪ that's it's not the romantic
adventure you thought it would be ♪
Shit.
I gotta get this poetry on
paper.
Thanks for the smoke.
Hey.
Can I get that back?
Oh.
Wait, look at that. What is
that?
Ohh.
Hey. How ya doing?
Seven songs, five bucks.
Can't beat that deal, huh?
Fun fact, uh, we commissioned local artist
Marshmallow Dicks to create the front sleeve.
Gorgeous, right?
Be sure to stop back again.
I would ease up on that sales
pitch.
What do you mean?
Desperation don't sell demos,
dude.
Did you take a box of demos?
Have you been giving any away?
No.
Ah, shit.
We are definitely missing a box.
Hey!
I found my new calling, y'all.
35 demos. Sold.
Hi, are you selling the DUH
demo?
Ah, you bet.
I'll take one. Actually make
that two.
All right, ten bucks.
Thank you.
Awesome. You guys rule.
Thank you, ma'am.
Ah, so glad we met, dude. So
glad.
Hey, pleasure was all mine.
Really.
Stay in touch?
Oh, no doubt, amigo.
You smell so good. Always.
Okay, okay, okay.
What's this?
An invoice.
For what?
The morning after pill.
(MEL)
Max, get that man a beer.
(MEL) No, make that two beers.
I want a beer.
(PECK)
Woo-hoo! You are crazy.
(Mel) I didn't think
that they were that bad.
Except, did you notice that the lead singer
had an emotional support animal on stage?
Like, what's with...
I'm going to bed. Let's do this.
C'mon Judy. It's barely 11:00.
Too bad.
Come on, dude.
We just opened some beers and you're
already making him sleep outside.
Tough. I don't want to stay up
any longer.
So don't. We'll make sure
he goes under before midnight.
No. Please, Judy?
Tonight's been so much fun.
Please? Just a few more minutes?
Yeah, no, no. We'll take care of
him.
Go to bed.
Goodnight.
Night, Casanova.
Anyways, his dog
is like his therapist, sort of?
(MAX) No, come on, give me.
Let me try! Oh...
(MEL) Oh shit,
I still have some on me. Fuck.
(MAX)
Okay, okay. I know how to do it.
(MAX)
What do I press?
Yo! Put your head down so he
can get the top of your dome.
Yes ma'am, yes ma'am.
Oh, hey, hey, good mornin'!
What's going on?
Oh man. It was so gnarly.
You're not gonna believe what
happened.
Try me.
Fucking metalheads, dude.
Metalheads?
Uh-huh, in the parking lot.
In the parking lot?
Yup.
Metalheads in the parking lot?
I can't believe you slept
through the whole thing!
What happened with the
metalheads in the parking lot?
Well, anyone wanna do the
honors?
No, not me. I hate needles.
I'll go get you a blanket.
What the fuck?
Metalheads.
Hey Sid Vicious, that's a nice
blankie.
Yeah, where's your fucking
mohawk?
Your boyfriend cut it off?
Have a beer on us, punk.
Have at it, Peck.
Hey. Hey. Are you all right?
Excuse me, fellas?
Fellas! Fellas, hello?
You think you could take this
somewhere else?
Me and my friends are trying to
sleep here.
You're not being very
respectful.
Please.
Hey, fuckwad!
Holy shit.
Holy shit.
All right, asshole.
You're cruisin' for a fuckin'
bruisin'.
Oh, shit! Fuck!
Ew!
(METALHEAD)
Gruesome!
Ah! Ah! Oh fuck!
Oh, God!
(METALHEAD)
Oh no! Oh that's crazy!
No, man. That's brutal, man.
That's... that's brutal man.
Come on, come on. No, man.
Help! Help!
Hell nah, man! Hell n-ah!
Damn!
Cool.
So?
So what?
Pretty cool, huh?
Cool?
You think Peck killing two more
people is cool?
Jeez, ungrateful much?
I'll say.
Peck broke his promise.
You broke your promise.
Uh, to defend Max.
Yeah, and your uninterrupted
Judy sleep.
Unbelievable!
Now, don't be too hard on Judy.
I don't need any veneration.
I was just doin' what any friend
would do in a situation like that.
Fuck!
Fu... what day is today?
Wednesday?
Friday?
Yeah, it's Friday.
Friday. Yeah. It's Friday.
I need to get to a phone!
House of Independents, this is
Amir.
Hi! Uh, this is Judy from DUH.
Judy! I'm disappointed.
I've been in the office
a full 11 minutes, almost 12.
You know, I didn't think
I was gonna hear from ya.
Well, I, uh... I wanted to make
sure you had time to get your coffee
and your cruller before I
called.
(Amir)
I see.
So, I listened to the demo.
Does it look like she's getting
good news?
I can't tell.
Looks like she sat on a
hornet's nest if you ask me.
Yes! Yeah! Yeah!
Yes! Yes! Woo-hoo!
Christ. This bozo.
Hi, Janey.
Judy.
Of course! How are you?
Long time no see, right?
Listen, I just talked to the promoter,
if you can even call him that.
And he mentioned that you guys
are headlining tonight.
Is that right?
I guess. If that's what he said.
Huh. Weird.
You know, from one artist to
another, I have to say,
I think this lineup was made in
haste.
With a reckless inattention to
the fans who came out to see us.
You know, Bernardsville is kind
of a home away from home for us.
And from what I understand,
your band is greener than sugar snaps.
I see.
You do?
I'm delighted to hear.
We'll just go and explain that
there was a misunderstanding
and get the set times switched.
Oh no. There's been no
misunderstanding.
What was that?
We are closing out the show.
Your band is opening for our
band.
Poor, poor little Jack.
Beanstalk or not,
you don't wanna mess with this giant.
Oh yeah? Or what?
Hands off the vehicle, hombre.
You're lucky I'm a pacifist.
Boys!
- What a cunt.
- What a cunt.
Fuck!
Uh, hi.
Um, uh, I'm Max.
Uh, yeah. That's right.
Max is my name and, uh, guitar
is my game.
- Uh, our band is called band
DUH...
And uhh... and uhh... and
uhh... and uhh
Abort! Abort!
One, two, three, four. One, two!
♪ I'm on a roll ♪
♪ Got shit under control ♪
♪ I'm sweating bullets
and I'm lying through my teeth ♪
♪ And what you see is no concern
to me ♪
♪ I know I'll never be shit
compared to you ♪
♪ And it's not for lack of
trying ♪
♪ And I know
that I've been here before ♪
♪ What else can I say? ♪
♪ But ♪
♪ Right ♪
♪ Now ♪
♪ I'm ♪
♪ Stuck in a rut ♪
♪ Stuff asphalt in the cut ♪
♪ A litmus test
for the strength of my resolve ♪
♪ If I come back ♪
♪ Walking panic attack ♪
♪ It's not how you bounce back ♪
♪ It's how well you fall ♪
♪ And I'm sick and tired of
trying ♪
♪ And I know that I'll be back
again ♪
♪ The meaning of life is dying ♪
♪ Some wise old words I've heard
before ♪
♪ Fuck it all to shit,
I don't care anymore ♪
♪ I'm too high to cry too rare
to care ♪
♪ I'm too high to cry too rare
to care ♪
♪ I'm too high to cry too rare
to care ♪
♪ I'm too high to cry too rare
to care ♪
♪ I ♪
♪ Give ♪
♪ Up ♪
Thank you, ma'am.
Nice dance moves earlier.
Yeah. I probably should
have stretched beforehand.
Oof!
Well, drink up, grandpa.
Look, um, I know you and I haven't
exactly seen eye to eye so far this tour.
And, um, I still haven't exactly come to terms
with the fact that you are a monster...
Well I prefer the term, "thing."
Thing, that eats people.
But, I also know that you're not
a bad guy.
And I'm happy you're here.
Sometimes.
Well comin' from you,
that is a glowing endorsement.
For as long as I can remember,
this is all I have ever wanted to do.
And tonight felt like the first
time that I was actually doing it.
So, thank you.
My pleasure.
Oh, well, almost showtime, huh?
I should probably get to it.
Do you wanna come inside,
make sure everything's on the up and up?
Nah. I trust you.
Night, Peck.
Night.
Peck! We gotta move, let's go!
What could be taking him so
long?
Pecker! Let's go!
Why are you wearing our shirt?
Okay, A, it's the only thing
clean I have.
And, two, our band is good.
God, I am so hungover.
Oh, Max, give me your hand.
Why?
Max, hand.
What is this?
Memorize it word for word.
Is this really necessary?
Yes.
Absolutely.
Oh, there he is. Finally.
Sorry to keep y'all waitin'.
So, where we headed, huh?
Coffee!
♪ Your words cut
like suicide razor blades ♪
♪ Your heart as black as the
crow in the midnight sky ♪
♪ You destroyed his nest
and set him free ♪
♪ But did you know? That crow
was me ♪
♪ Die! ♪
♪ Become emptiness ♪
♪ Fly! ♪
♪ Escape nothingness ♪
♪ Greed ♪
♪ Power ♪
♪ Hatred ♪
♪ Fear ♪
♪ Bullets ♪
♪ War ♪
♪ Bondage ♪
♪ Death! ♪
Good luck out there, okay?
Whoops!
Thanks. We're DUH.
If anyone has a place for us to crash
tonight, that'd be most excellent.
We got some demos and t-shirts
for sale.
This is our last song and it
goes out to our buddy Peck.
One, two, three, four!
♪ Mommy always called me ugly ♪
♪ And daddy dropped me
from three stories on my head ♪
♪ I wanna die ♪
♪ I wanna die ♪
♪ Young ♪
So how was my stage banter?
Did I bring it?
It was adequate with a capital
A.
I second that. Very proud,
Maxwell.
Thanks.
Hey, you guys were so good.
Do you have any music for sale?
Max, demo the girl.
Thanks. Are you guys still looking
for a place to crash tonight?
We are indeed.
Well if you'd like, you can come with me
to my grandma's. We've got tons of room.
Really? You're sure she wouldn't
mind?
Yeah, she's totally cool with
it.
We already have another band
staying the night.
Ah, rad! Who's the other band?
Turf war.
A roof's a roof, y'all.
Ugh. He even walks like a
dickhead.
I guess we can officially call
each other tour mates now.
Here's the situation.
I talked to the girl, and there are two
rooms in this house. One for each band.
Now, I figured given the fact that
y'all are last minute additions,
we'll take the larger room.
I mean, that and the fact that we're
four men and just need more space.
You think I'm being sexist or somethin'?
I mean, this is just biology here.
More body mass and all that.
You guys understand, right?
Glad we cleared that up.
Maybe we just leave and drive
through the night.
Ah, nonsense. You guys need a good
night's sleep before the big show.
We can make this work.
Yeah, I mean, it is getting
late.
Okay.
Peck, you sleep in here. The three of
us, we'll stay in the living room.
Are you sure?
Yeah. You snore like a son of a bitch so
don't think this is like a selfless gesture.
I'll take it.
We just need to get
the sleeping bags from the van.
Well, here.
You get what you need from the van
and, uh, I'll hit the hay.
I guess I'l go get all of our
shit.
Chase Nutley and here are
tonight's top stories.
Murderous mayhem at the Moon Motel.
How did a cozy cabin off the highway
become a sick carnival of
carnage early Saturday morning?
Bedtime.
On the scene is our own Chip
Hardaway with the latest.
Where should we set all of this
up?
Thanks, Steve.
Well it was a grizzly scene as the police were
called over here to the Moon Motel on RT 9
where officers discovered the dead and
half-eaten bodies of two motel employees.
The officers were offering no
information on leads at this time
but they have confirmed the
identities of the two victims.
They are Mark Spivey, age 27...
Where's Max?
Hey, have you guys seen...
Hello there.
Damn. It looks like you guys won't
be making the show tomorrow night.
But, fear not, we'll just make...
Hello.
Hey, it's past midnight and my grandma
has work really early in the morning.
You guys really need to keep it
down or she's gonna be pissed.
Of course. Of course. Namaste.
Where was I?
Oh, the show.
Fear not, we'll just make sure
to stop by the venue
in case The Queef Queens
need a last minute replacement.
Now all we have to do is round up your
white trash roadie and we'll be on our way.
Hoo, so, uh,
that was pretty wild back there, huh?
Oh! What the fuck?!
Does anybody have any music
they wanna listen to?
Hey, Max, you wanna choose a
station?
All right, listen, I am really sorry
that you're all covered in my dookie
but I came to your rescue,
didn't I?
How were you able to do that
when you sedated yourself?
Just some kind of sixth sense
shit, I guess?
Like when a mother knows that
her kids is hurt.
Wait!
Esteban Mendoza?
Okay, wait. Ju... just let...
What the fuck?
Peck, is this your van?
I can't believe I was so stupid.
Now hold your horses.
So this isn't your van.
What have you been injecting
yourself with?
Water.
So you've been hydrating
yourself every night?
I'm gonna be sick.
Hey, hey now.
How many people have you killed
since we started this tour?
Don't lie to us!
Well, counting the four back
there?
Just let them go.
No, no can do.
I mean, not at the moment at least.
We'll play our show tonight and
then we'll decide our next move.
No. No, we are not playing
tonight.
What?!
Come on.
No, I second that.
I mean you told me yourself,
this is your dream finally realized.
Now if you don't follow through
with it you're gonna regret it.
Hey, you guys are 45
minutes late to soundcheck.
I know. I'm sorry.
You smell like shit. Is that
shit?
No. Um, the van broke down in
mud, maybe it's manure. I don't.
I don't know.
How punk.
Listen, if you wanna bring your van around,
we have some guys who can help you load in...
No. Um, we, uh, got it
ourselves, actually.
Okay, then just get on stage.
We have a sound guy waiting for you.
Hey. You're in DUH, right?
Uh, yeah. Hi, Judy.
Right on. Jenn Jennings.
Yes. Of course you are. I, I
know.
I, uh, just listened to your demo
the other day. Your band is great.
That's, uh, cool. That means a
lot.
Uh, I, we thank you.
Um, we all really love
you guys, girls, women.
Your band, we, uh, love also.
Nervous?
Uh, very. Very nervous.
Do I look it?
Uh, a bit but you know, nerves
are good.
So what's the plan for the next
release?
Uh, well, we just got back from tour and
things are kinda up in the air at the moment.
So, I don't know actually.
Totally.
Hey, if you're into it,
we should get together next week and talk.
My partner and I, we own a label and I
think your stuff if right up our alley.
Wow, really?
Yeah.
I, uh, we would really
appreciate that.
I'll, uh, be right back.
Could you just, uh, please,
just excuse me? Okay.
What the fuck are you doing
here?
Oh, I just wanted to soak it in,
be a part of the moment, you know?
Where's the girl and her
grandmother?
Don't worry. I threw a
couple of blankets over them.
I'm just gonna be here a few
minutes. No harm.
It's over, Peck. You're out of
the band.
Excuse me?
I don't think you have the
authority to make that decision.
Okay, band vote. Who wants Peck
out of the band? Raise 'em.
After our set you're gonna let them
go and drive off, and if you don't,
I'm gonna call the cops
and tell them everything.
Well, Judy, you might wanna
rethink your ultimatum.
And y'all might wanna rethink your vote,
seeing that it's so close to midnight and all.
Yo, DUH, you're up!
Knock 'em dead, y'all.
Miss, the white van in the parking
lot, is that yours?
Miss? The white Dodge van, is
that yours?
There was an audible gasp in the courtroom
when Judge Morris Roland declared a mistrial
in the multiple homicide case involving
three members of NJ rock band DUH.
After nearly two full days
of deliberation,
twelve jurors returned to the court room
split on whether to find the accused:
27 year-old Judith Campbell
25 year-old Maxwell Jenkins
and 24 year-old Melissa Moxie
guilty of murdering four men
on the night of August 15th.
Many attribute the surprise
outcome to Katrina McNeill
and her grandmother, Ruth Dietrich,
who testified in court last Friday
that an older,
yet-to-be-identified man,
was responsible for the deaths of four
men in Dietrich's cottage last August.
The band, who have long maintained
that they were taken hostage
and unable to escape both
during and after the murders,
left the courtroom earlier today,
free for the first time in seven months.
There are currently no plans
for a retrial.
♪ Deflated wasted lungs ♪
♪ Irradiated blood ♪
♪ I've reassembled my head ♪
♪ My brain is still a chemical
spill ♪
♪ My brain is still a chemical
spill ♪
♪ Deflated wasted love ♪
♪ Emaciated dove ♪
♪ I've reassembled my head ♪
♪ My brain is still a chemical
spill ♪
♪ My brain is still a chemical
spill ♪
♪ My little love I am not around♪
♪ I've taken lost
and I don't want to be found ♪
♪ There's a lot that is wrong
in this world and me ♪
♪ There's a hole in my chest
where my heart used to be ♪
♪ There's a hole in my chest
where my heart should be ♪
♪ There's a hole in my chest
where my heart should be ♪
Please, Doris, Diane.
With this being Judy's last
morning with us,
I was thinking it'd be nice
if we could go around the room
and say what we appreciate most about her.
I'll start us off.
Scott, you really don't need
to...
Your scones.
Judy, your scones are truly a
revelation.
One bite, one crumb can send me places
I never before dreamt I could go.
Your flavor combinations are so refined
and, excuse my language, freakin' electric.
Look at me here.
I'm babbling on and on.
Doris, is there something you'd
like to say?
Sure.
Well, Judy, even though I wouldn't
feed your macaroons to my dogs.
I still respect your work ethic and
don't wish you any specific harm.
I am so sorry to cut this short.
Doris, a moving tribute.
I'm so grateful to have had the opportunity
to work alongside each one of you.
But I have to go now.
My planet needs me. Bye.
I thought her scones were shit.
Gary, come on, dude. That's all
wrong, dude.
The Quilt Queens? And the P...
whose P is that? Why is there a P...
Amir.
Judy, hi. As you can see,
we're busy today so what do you want?
As promised.
Okay. I'll listen to it.
Okay.
What? What? Why are you still
here?
Oh, uh. I see Shark Dick just
dropped off the Queef Queens show.
Very perceptive. What gave that
away?
Have you found a replacement opener yet?
Will there be a replacement?
I don't know. I don't know.
Well, you know, we could open.
Listen. I just, it's not a good idea.
I don't think that's...
Amir, please.
You said we needed something
recorded, so we made a demo.
You said we needed some experience, so
we are about to embark on our first tour.
Can you please, just please, listen to
the tape before you make a decision?
Fine, fine. Just leave.
Okay.
Just go.
All right. I'll call you later
today to see what you think.
If you call me before Friday
morning, I'm going to burn the demo.
All right. Friday morning it is.
Goodbye.
Kay. Hi.
Go. Leave.
Yes!
Morning.
It's 4 o'clock in the afternoon.
Mel. Mel!
This place is still a sty. I thought you
two were gonna clean it while I was gone.
I had to replace all my drum
heads.
I started to clean
but then I needed to get high
cause I hate cleaning.
But then I got tired
cause weed makes me sleepy.
Then I needed to sleep, so I
slept.
I'm sorry.
Band meeting. Kitchen.
Let's go. Up, up, up!
Okay. So... jobs quit, bags packed, merch
boxed, guitars strung, drum heads replaced.
Tour route mapped.
Six shows, seven days, with the possibility
of a seventh show back here with...
Mel, drum roll, please.
The Queef Queens.
The House of Independents show?
The very same.
Shutup.
No way.
Yes, way. And we all know who
drums for the Queef Queens, right?
No.
Yes. Jenn Jennings.
And we all know Jenn Jennings'
claim to fame, right?
No.
Also, no.
She is owner, operator of
Alliteration Records.
Oh, man. Alliteration has such
an awesome roster of bands.
Yeah.
In the past year alone, they've put out
the Brain Busters LP, the Acid Cat EP,
and two seven inches from Turd
Toilet.
And the soon to be released
debut album from DUH.
Precisely.
We open for the Queef Queens.
Jenn Jennings sees us, Jenn
Jennings loves us.
I give Jenn Jennings our demo.
Jenn Jennings offers us a record
deal.
We no longer have to work shit
jobs
and we just get to tour and make
music for the rest of our lives.
Fuckin' A. Yeah!
I wouldn't celebrate just yet,
or ever.
Life has a way of dangling these
small carrots of opportunity
in front of our faces,
ready to completely destroy and
dismantle any hope in sight.
The world is chaos. And, though
together, we are alone to suffer.
Okay. Everybody up. Up, c'mon.
We're going on tour, yeah! We're going
on tour, yeah! We're going on tour, yeah!
Okay. Max.
I don't want us to look like a bunch
of amateurs on our very first tour,
so let's practice some stage
banter.
Right now?
Yes.
Why?
Because you suck at talking.
Mm-hm. Let's role play.
Pretend we just finished our
first song.
What would you say?
Okay. Uh... hi, I'm Max and I'm
here to say, uh
we're in the band DUH,
and we're playing right now.
And, um... we hope you all like
music...
Um... our music, uh, cause,
you know, music's special, um,
and you're special
for being here with us tonight.
Okay. Please stop.
Why? What's wrong with
that... Whoa!
Yikes.
Aw. Jesus, Max. Are you okay?
Yeah, all good. Face broke the
fall.
Aw.
Now, where is the van?
Huh. Uh... oh, I see it.
Shit.
No, no, no. Stop!
Do not get in that van! I'm coming!
That's weird. Do we know those
guys?
The van's getting repoed,
dumbass.
Please, don't!
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Goddammit!
My one-hitter was in there.
Fuck.
Why is this happening?
Guys, we can fix this.
We can. I think. Probably.
I warned us last night.
The world is cruel and unforgiving.
Shit.
Now that I think about it, the
creditors were calling a lot last week.
Fuuuuuuu...
Okay. Last one.
Say a little prayer.
Now, the waiting game.
Hey!
Keep walking.
Hey, is this you?
You the kids that just tagged my
windshield?
Uh... yes.
That is my property.
You are soliciting on private property.
We're sorry, sir.
Mm-hm.
Now, what's the meaning of this?
Okay. We didn't know you were in
there, so I'll just take this...
Now, what do you guys need a van
for?
Cause of the man, man.
Yeah. And we need it pronto
so that our band can go on tour.
You guys are in a band?
Yeah.
Oh shit. You guys rip?
Well, I believe we do. Yeah.
Oh. Right on.
Well, does that mean
that we can borrow your van?
Well, no.
Full disclosure, that van back there also
happens to be my home for the moment.
You see, in this cut-throat,
capitalistic world in which we now live,
your boy has fallen on hard
times.
The game is rigged and I am but
a casualty.
A victim.
But I am hopeful.
Hey. I can drive y'all.
I can roadie, too. I mean, every
touring band needs a roadie. Don't they?
Ju... just throw me a few bucks
and pay for gas and what-not.
Well, we could leave right now.
What do you say?
Um, not that I care, but who is
the man driving the mystery van?
Oh. That's, um...
Sorry, I didn't get your name.
My name's Peckerhead.
What?
Peck-er-head.
That is not your name.
Well, that is what my daddy
called me til the day he died.
Peckerhead's giving us a ride in
his van.
You can call me Peck.
My friends call me Peck.
I'll stick with Peckerhead.
Thanks.
Ladies' choice.
Well, Peck, on behalf of the entire band,
it is wonderful to have you on board.
And now it's tour time.
Hey.
Hey. Uh, we're running a little late
and I don't wanna piss off the promoter.
Any chance you could go, I don't
know, like,
ten miles above the speed limit
when we're back on the road?
I'm afraid not, Judy pie.
You see, this highway is teeming with patrolmen
who wouldn't take kindly to a bunch of punks.
Yo. Find anything, detective?
All aboard.
Locked?
Glad we hauled ass.
I thought load-in was at 5:00?
That's what the promoter said.
So, how did you guys come up
with the name DUH?
Uh, James Taylor was already
taken.
Someone's here.
Um, hello, sir.
You with the band?
Uh, yeah. Judy. Hi.
Uh, we spoke over the phone.
Okay.
Anything else I can help you
with?
Um... well, uh, should we start
to load in?
Sure. Whatever.
It's not like there's a rush.
Sound guy doesn't get her til 9:00 and,
uh, you're the only band booked tonight.
What? I thought this was a
showcase.
Uh, yeah. And your band is being
showcased.
How much material do you have
prepared?
Can you handle three hours with
a 15 minute break between sets?
Uh... we have 20 minutes
of original material.
22 with a Misfits cover.
Are you kidding me?
I don't know where we're
supposed to plug in.
Whoa!
(SOUND GUY)
I didn't say to stop, drummer.
(SOUND GUY)
Stop!
(SOUND GUY)
Alright, bass, you're up.
(SOUND GUY)
We check vocal mics first.
Test. One, two, three.
Test. One, two, three. Test.
Uh, yeah. Can I just get a little
bit more of her in my monitor?
I can't hear anything.
Um... test. One, two.
Test. One, two.
Uh, yeah...
Hey, just remember what we
worked on. Okay?
You got this.
Hi. Uh...
Fuck it. Let's just play.
What's this?
Your cut.
It's three dollars.
Yeah, a dollar a head.
What the fuck am I gonna do with
three dollars?
I don't know.
Invest in a better band? See ya.
Careful.
Well, I thought y'all did just
great.
How much cash we rake in?
Shutup.
Like, what's the point of paying
us at all?
That brings our total funds to
$11.
Great. We're screwed.
Mm-hm.
I guess we have to take justice
into our own hands.
Stand down, McClane.
Fuck.
(MEL)
Chaos, man. Fucking chaos.
Hey, what time is it?
Almost midnight.
Let's just get out of here. Hmm?
Yeah.
I'm just gonna use the bathroom
before we hit the road.
Yeah. Make sure you piss and shit
all over while you're in there.
Roger that.
Just wash your hands.
Man. Peck must be going to town
in there.
Should I poop, too?
Hello?
Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.
Get in the van. We're leaving.
What is it?
Where are the keys to the van?
I don't know.
I think Peck has them. Why?
Oh, hey. Uh, what are y'all
carrying on about?
Stay the fuck back!
Whoa. What the fuck is going on?
Oh, no. It's all right.
It's all right.
You know, Judy just got spooked
because
she caught me roughing up
that promoter man back there.
- He killed him.
- What?
He's a fucking monster.
Now, let's not resort to
name-calling.
Did you really kill the promoter?
Is that true?
Yes!
Of course not.
Then why the fuck would she say
that?
Hell if I know.
All I wanted was just to give him
one good pop before we hit the road.
There were pieces of him everywhere.
He's dead.
Oh, I beg to differ.
He is very much alive.
I saw it. He was eating him
and...
He's alive.
Dead.
Alive.
Dead.
Alive.
D-E-A-D.
All right, everyone. Shut up!
Okay. I'm gonna go check it out.
Okay. Wait.
You may not want to go in there.
Eww.
Y'all said he had it coming.
Where's his head?
Goddamn.
All right, y'all. C'mon.
We gotta hit the road soon.
We got other towns to rock and
what-not.
We need to get his keys and go.
Okay.
Guys?
It's really fucked up in there.
Where's the key to the van?
Oh! Now I'll admit, an explanation
is owed but that is my van out there.
Now let me buy you some dinner
and then if you still feel that
I'm in the wrong,
we can unload your stuff
and go our separate ways.
Mmm?
No.
Go ahead. Eat up.
It's... it's on me.
I guess I should open with an
apology.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I murdered the hell
out of that promoter man
before I had the chance to run
it by y'all.
And I guess I should have been more
forthcoming about my condition.
And exactly what condition would that
be, Peckerhead?
Well, every night at midnight
I turn into some thing.
Now I don't know what that thing
is.
I honestly can't remember
how or when it started,
but it only lasts for thirteen
minutes.
And then I'm fine.
Fine? You killed and ate a man.
Please, keep it down.
Okay. I did, yes.
Right. And, uh, who's to say it
wouldn't be one of us next time?
One of my band mates?
Shit, no.
I... I am in complete control.
Control. Okay.
Hey, Peck, do you have diabetes.
No, why?
I thought so.
What's that?
You know exactly what this is.
I found this in his glove
compartment earlier today.
So you're on smack, too.
Aw Peck. Say it ain't so.
Now, now hold the phone.
You think that, that I use
this for shooting dope? Hardly.
How do you think I control this
thing, huh?
I use this to sedate myself every
night to keep the beast at bay.
Sorry.
Why wasn't the beast kept at bay
tonight?
For, for one thing
I didn't think it was right
for some joker to take advantage
of my friends like that.
And when I saw how worried Judy
was about getting to the next show,
what with lack of funds for gas and
food, well, I had to do something.
So I stuck up for all of us.
By eating him.
I realize that some might think
that that's an extreme response,
but how else were we gonna to
get paid?
Well, we didn't get paid, so.
Yeah.
Au contraire.
Holy shit.
There's enough here for gas and
food, maybe even a shower.
I understand how scary that must
have looked.
But I got this. Hmm?
Please? It won't happen again.
Thank you.
I'm going to go pay for this.
I'll be right back.
No.
Come on, Judy. I think we
should give him another chance.
No. He is literally a man-eating
monster.
A monster who killed an asshole promoter that
fucked us and a ton of other bands, too.
Yeah.
No.
Look, Judy.
He said it wouldn't happen again.
He called us his friends.
No.
All right. Let's take a vote.
All in favor to let Peck stay on with
us for the time being, raise 'em.
Sun's up, darling, not a monster
in sight.
What are we gonna do?
Uh, continue to let him drive us
around.
And pay for two star hotel rooms
and gas and snacks and...
I'm not kidding.
What was it like last night?
With Peck?
Yeah.
Fucking horrific.
I mean, you saw the aftermath.
No no no, I mean like what did
he look like?
Like, did he get like all ripped
like Incredible Hulk
or did he like turn into a sexy
panther like in Cat People?
No. No, nothing like that.
He was just like a paler, uglier
version of himself if you can imagine.
It's tough.
Aren't you the slightest bit worried
that he could turn on one of us?
Mmm. No.
I mean he seems to have a system
in place.
Or maybe, I just don't fear
death anymore.
Oh. Cool.
Hey Peck,
can I ask you a question?
Sure buddy. What's up?
What do people taste like?
Oh, well. That's tough to say.
You know, some people taste like
dog shit.
And then other people taste
like watermelon sherbet.
Hmm. Sounds like a metaphor for
humanity.
That's deep, dude.
What is the cheapest van on your
lot?
Uh, what about to rent?
Okay, what is the cheapest
vehicle you have that runs?
Jesus. Okay.
Do you know of any other numbers
that I should try?
Yes. No, I already tried them.
That is how I got your number.
So.
Um, okay. Thank you. Goodbye.
House of Independents, this is
Amir.
Amir, hi. Uh, this is Judy, from
DUH.
Uh, I know I'm calling
a little bit earlier than...
Judy. I said Friday. Goodbye.
Oh, hey Peck, wait.
Oh, good morning, miss.
Uh, I was just gonna get some
joe.
Can I grab you a cup?
No. But, can I borrow the keys
to the van?
Oh sure.
Ah, nice try Judy pie but I'm just
going to hold on to these bad boys, huh?
I'll be right back.
God, come on, Judy. We've done nothing
but listen to your music the whole time.
Yeah, because my mixes rule,
your mixes honk.
No they don't.
Every one of my tapes is
carefully curated.
Each one tells a story.
Yours are so one note, Max.
You have even been known to put
the same song twice on one side.
Who does that?
Me!
No!
Give it to me!
Suck my clit.
All right, all right, all right
now.
Ya'll quit it.
Now the rules of the road dictate that the
driver is in charge of picking the music.
Now Judy, you had yesterday.
Max, you've got today and then Mel,
you can have tomorrow if you want it.
Nothing matters.
Max, will you do the honors?
For a band named Pissface
this is a real quaint HQ.
How do you know these guys?
Uh, guy.
And I don't.
I came across their demo last year and I
just cold called the number on the back.
You got gumption to the gills,
girl.
How do we know that Pissface
isn't a bunch of creeps?
Well, I talked to their bassist
Nick a couple times on the phone.
Seems like a little bit of a goon,
but kind of like a harmless goon.
Judy?
Hey. I'm Nick.
Oh, um. Hi.
Really nice to meet you.
So, I know it's a bit cramped,
but you guys can crash in my room.
You can probably fit two in the bed
and then we have some sleeping bags
for whoever wants to crash on
the floor.
Are you sure that it's cool that
we're taking over your space?
Yeah, yeah totally.
So I'll let you guys relax and
decompress,
um, but I was thinking maybe later we
could grab some beers, go swimming?
Oh man. I bet you can do a sick
jackknife.
Well, you'll have to wait and
see.
I can't wait.
Okay. Great.
Um, make yourselves at home.
I'm sorry, is it just me,
or is he not one of the most beautiful
men we have ever laid eyes on?
I know, right?
He's okay.
He's like a baby deer or
something.
Yeah, like a baby deer with
perfect teeth.
- Ohh!
- Damn!
Mm-hmm.
You better fuck that guy.
Jesus, Mel. Shhh.
Are you guys talking about
blowjob eyes?
(Max)
Yup.
What a fucking babe.
You know, he reminds me of this camp
counselor I used to have back in the day.
Same emerald green eyes, same
impeccable jawline, same inviting smile.
He used to just sit next to me
at lunch.
He would just sit down and he
would run his...
(Mel)
Ew!
Max, have some decency.
What?
Oh, ew.
Whew. Lookin' good, Maxy boy.
Do it again.
Hit me with it.
Hey.
Hi.
Mind if I join you?
Cheers.
Cheers.
Hey Nick, watch this.
Good one, dude.
Thanks!
Max is an odd duck, huh?
Oh yeah. Yeah.
So I'm pretty stoked about the
show tomorrow.
Mmm. Me too.
Yeah. I've listened
to your band's demo nonstop.
I was actually pretty nervous
to meet you guys today.
Oh really?
Yeah. I mean after talking to you on the
phone I didn't think you'd be so cute.
- Not that I didn't think that you would be cute...
- Mm-hmm.
Ah. Or attractiveness was the
only quality that I thought about.
I don't really know what I'm
saying right now.
I'm sorry, I'm rambling.
No, please. Ramble away.
I just think that you are cool.
And pretty.
And your band kicks ass.
Nah, no, no. No beer.
More rambles.
Um.
You're cute, too.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Hate to interrupt y'all,
but it's almost midnight.
It's time for my insulin.
Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.
Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck...
Hey.
Everything okay?
Yup. Just tucked Peck in for the
night.
Ah. He knows he doesn't need
to sleep in the van, right?
Mmm. No, he does.
Okay.
Well.
Well.
Do you need to borrow a shirt?
Uh. Nah, nah. I'm good.
Headed to bed?
Yeah. Everyone else seems to have headed
to their respective sleeping quarters to...
sleep.
Um, well, if you wanted we could
just sit around here and talk.
Yeah. That sounds nice.
We could... talk.
Aw fuck yeah, fuck yeah,
fuck yeah, fuck yeah, fuck yeah.
Ah. Ah. Ah. Mmm. Ah. Oh.
Yeah. Oh. Yeah.
Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh
shit I'm cumming.
What? No!
Oh, I came so hard.
Uh, uh. Fuck, I came so hard.
What? Goddamnit.
Uh. Hey, where are you going?
Hmm?
(MEL)
Is it too early to open a beer?
(MEL)
Oh my god, Max.
Nick, what's your favorite
potato chip flavor?
Uh, sour cream and onion, bro.
I like gummy worms.
(All)
Morning.
What's with all the commotion?
Peck made scones for everybody.
You bake.
Aw, I dabble.
Aw, don't be so modest Peck.
These are the best scones
I've ever had in my entire life.
Mmm. Mmm.
Ah, fuck yeah, ah.
Mmm. Mmm.
Well, thank you kindly,
Nicholas.
(MEL) No, seriously.
You should try one.
They give your babies a run for
their money.
Hot damn.
Judy, you bake?
Mm-hmm.
We should swap recipes sometime.
Mmm. Pass.
You should really try one.
Mmm. Goddammit.
You smoke?
I do.
Ooh. Thank god.
Can I uh, bum one of those?
Shiloh. Dominion Rising.
We're uh, headlining this little
thing.
Judy. DUH.
Oh, the opener.
Nice.
Actually, we're going second to
last. So.
And what do you play?
Co-vocalist and bass...
That's cute.
I'm the sole vocalist. Lyricist,
too.
In addition I also write
most of the music for the band.
Cool. That must be, um...
I guess you could call our music
a meditation on love and loss.
But, ultimately I think it's
just about the human experience.
I mean, don't get me wrong,
it's not all raw emotion.
We can get super political too.
Our last track was about Laos.
What about it?
You're kidding right?
So, are you guys on tour or
what?
Yeah.
Actually, uh, this is our
first...
Us too.
Yup. Four days. For now.
I gotta tell you though,
the gig life, not easy.
When you guys get there you'll
see.
It's not the romantic adventure
you thought it would be.
That's good actually.
♪ When you get there and you see ♪
♪ that's it's not the romantic
adventure you thought it would be ♪
Shit.
I gotta get this poetry on
paper.
Thanks for the smoke.
Hey.
Can I get that back?
Oh.
Wait, look at that. What is
that?
Ohh.
Hey. How ya doing?
Seven songs, five bucks.
Can't beat that deal, huh?
Fun fact, uh, we commissioned local artist
Marshmallow Dicks to create the front sleeve.
Gorgeous, right?
Be sure to stop back again.
I would ease up on that sales
pitch.
What do you mean?
Desperation don't sell demos,
dude.
Did you take a box of demos?
Have you been giving any away?
No.
Ah, shit.
We are definitely missing a box.
Hey!
I found my new calling, y'all.
35 demos. Sold.
Hi, are you selling the DUH
demo?
Ah, you bet.
I'll take one. Actually make
that two.
All right, ten bucks.
Thank you.
Awesome. You guys rule.
Thank you, ma'am.
Ah, so glad we met, dude. So
glad.
Hey, pleasure was all mine.
Really.
Stay in touch?
Oh, no doubt, amigo.
You smell so good. Always.
Okay, okay, okay.
What's this?
An invoice.
For what?
The morning after pill.
(MEL)
Max, get that man a beer.
(MEL) No, make that two beers.
I want a beer.
(PECK)
Woo-hoo! You are crazy.
(Mel) I didn't think
that they were that bad.
Except, did you notice that the lead singer
had an emotional support animal on stage?
Like, what's with...
I'm going to bed. Let's do this.
C'mon Judy. It's barely 11:00.
Too bad.
Come on, dude.
We just opened some beers and you're
already making him sleep outside.
Tough. I don't want to stay up
any longer.
So don't. We'll make sure
he goes under before midnight.
No. Please, Judy?
Tonight's been so much fun.
Please? Just a few more minutes?
Yeah, no, no. We'll take care of
him.
Go to bed.
Goodnight.
Night, Casanova.
Anyways, his dog
is like his therapist, sort of?
(MAX) No, come on, give me.
Let me try! Oh...
(MEL) Oh shit,
I still have some on me. Fuck.
(MAX)
Okay, okay. I know how to do it.
(MAX)
What do I press?
Yo! Put your head down so he
can get the top of your dome.
Yes ma'am, yes ma'am.
Oh, hey, hey, good mornin'!
What's going on?
Oh man. It was so gnarly.
You're not gonna believe what
happened.
Try me.
Fucking metalheads, dude.
Metalheads?
Uh-huh, in the parking lot.
In the parking lot?
Yup.
Metalheads in the parking lot?
I can't believe you slept
through the whole thing!
What happened with the
metalheads in the parking lot?
Well, anyone wanna do the
honors?
No, not me. I hate needles.
I'll go get you a blanket.
What the fuck?
Metalheads.
Hey Sid Vicious, that's a nice
blankie.
Yeah, where's your fucking
mohawk?
Your boyfriend cut it off?
Have a beer on us, punk.
Have at it, Peck.
Hey. Hey. Are you all right?
Excuse me, fellas?
Fellas! Fellas, hello?
You think you could take this
somewhere else?
Me and my friends are trying to
sleep here.
You're not being very
respectful.
Please.
Hey, fuckwad!
Holy shit.
Holy shit.
All right, asshole.
You're cruisin' for a fuckin'
bruisin'.
Oh, shit! Fuck!
Ew!
(METALHEAD)
Gruesome!
Ah! Ah! Oh fuck!
Oh, God!
(METALHEAD)
Oh no! Oh that's crazy!
No, man. That's brutal, man.
That's... that's brutal man.
Come on, come on. No, man.
Help! Help!
Hell nah, man! Hell n-ah!
Damn!
Cool.
So?
So what?
Pretty cool, huh?
Cool?
You think Peck killing two more
people is cool?
Jeez, ungrateful much?
I'll say.
Peck broke his promise.
You broke your promise.
Uh, to defend Max.
Yeah, and your uninterrupted
Judy sleep.
Unbelievable!
Now, don't be too hard on Judy.
I don't need any veneration.
I was just doin' what any friend
would do in a situation like that.
Fuck!
Fu... what day is today?
Wednesday?
Friday?
Yeah, it's Friday.
Friday. Yeah. It's Friday.
I need to get to a phone!
House of Independents, this is
Amir.
Hi! Uh, this is Judy from DUH.
Judy! I'm disappointed.
I've been in the office
a full 11 minutes, almost 12.
You know, I didn't think
I was gonna hear from ya.
Well, I, uh... I wanted to make
sure you had time to get your coffee
and your cruller before I
called.
(Amir)
I see.
So, I listened to the demo.
Does it look like she's getting
good news?
I can't tell.
Looks like she sat on a
hornet's nest if you ask me.
Yes! Yeah! Yeah!
Yes! Yes! Woo-hoo!
Christ. This bozo.
Hi, Janey.
Judy.
Of course! How are you?
Long time no see, right?
Listen, I just talked to the promoter,
if you can even call him that.
And he mentioned that you guys
are headlining tonight.
Is that right?
I guess. If that's what he said.
Huh. Weird.
You know, from one artist to
another, I have to say,
I think this lineup was made in
haste.
With a reckless inattention to
the fans who came out to see us.
You know, Bernardsville is kind
of a home away from home for us.
And from what I understand,
your band is greener than sugar snaps.
I see.
You do?
I'm delighted to hear.
We'll just go and explain that
there was a misunderstanding
and get the set times switched.
Oh no. There's been no
misunderstanding.
What was that?
We are closing out the show.
Your band is opening for our
band.
Poor, poor little Jack.
Beanstalk or not,
you don't wanna mess with this giant.
Oh yeah? Or what?
Hands off the vehicle, hombre.
You're lucky I'm a pacifist.
Boys!
- What a cunt.
- What a cunt.
Fuck!
Uh, hi.
Um, uh, I'm Max.
Uh, yeah. That's right.
Max is my name and, uh, guitar
is my game.
- Uh, our band is called band
DUH...
And uhh... and uhh... and
uhh... and uhh
Abort! Abort!
One, two, three, four. One, two!
♪ I'm on a roll ♪
♪ Got shit under control ♪
♪ I'm sweating bullets
and I'm lying through my teeth ♪
♪ And what you see is no concern
to me ♪
♪ I know I'll never be shit
compared to you ♪
♪ And it's not for lack of
trying ♪
♪ And I know
that I've been here before ♪
♪ What else can I say? ♪
♪ But ♪
♪ Right ♪
♪ Now ♪
♪ I'm ♪
♪ Stuck in a rut ♪
♪ Stuff asphalt in the cut ♪
♪ A litmus test
for the strength of my resolve ♪
♪ If I come back ♪
♪ Walking panic attack ♪
♪ It's not how you bounce back ♪
♪ It's how well you fall ♪
♪ And I'm sick and tired of
trying ♪
♪ And I know that I'll be back
again ♪
♪ The meaning of life is dying ♪
♪ Some wise old words I've heard
before ♪
♪ Fuck it all to shit,
I don't care anymore ♪
♪ I'm too high to cry too rare
to care ♪
♪ I'm too high to cry too rare
to care ♪
♪ I'm too high to cry too rare
to care ♪
♪ I'm too high to cry too rare
to care ♪
♪ I ♪
♪ Give ♪
♪ Up ♪
Thank you, ma'am.
Nice dance moves earlier.
Yeah. I probably should
have stretched beforehand.
Oof!
Well, drink up, grandpa.
Look, um, I know you and I haven't
exactly seen eye to eye so far this tour.
And, um, I still haven't exactly come to terms
with the fact that you are a monster...
Well I prefer the term, "thing."
Thing, that eats people.
But, I also know that you're not
a bad guy.
And I'm happy you're here.
Sometimes.
Well comin' from you,
that is a glowing endorsement.
For as long as I can remember,
this is all I have ever wanted to do.
And tonight felt like the first
time that I was actually doing it.
So, thank you.
My pleasure.
Oh, well, almost showtime, huh?
I should probably get to it.
Do you wanna come inside,
make sure everything's on the up and up?
Nah. I trust you.
Night, Peck.
Night.
Peck! We gotta move, let's go!
What could be taking him so
long?
Pecker! Let's go!
Why are you wearing our shirt?
Okay, A, it's the only thing
clean I have.
And, two, our band is good.
God, I am so hungover.
Oh, Max, give me your hand.
Why?
Max, hand.
What is this?
Memorize it word for word.
Is this really necessary?
Yes.
Absolutely.
Oh, there he is. Finally.
Sorry to keep y'all waitin'.
So, where we headed, huh?
Coffee!
♪ Your words cut
like suicide razor blades ♪
♪ Your heart as black as the
crow in the midnight sky ♪
♪ You destroyed his nest
and set him free ♪
♪ But did you know? That crow
was me ♪
♪ Die! ♪
♪ Become emptiness ♪
♪ Fly! ♪
♪ Escape nothingness ♪
♪ Greed ♪
♪ Power ♪
♪ Hatred ♪
♪ Fear ♪
♪ Bullets ♪
♪ War ♪
♪ Bondage ♪
♪ Death! ♪
Good luck out there, okay?
Whoops!
Thanks. We're DUH.
If anyone has a place for us to crash
tonight, that'd be most excellent.
We got some demos and t-shirts
for sale.
This is our last song and it
goes out to our buddy Peck.
One, two, three, four!
♪ Mommy always called me ugly ♪
♪ And daddy dropped me
from three stories on my head ♪
♪ I wanna die ♪
♪ I wanna die ♪
♪ Young ♪
So how was my stage banter?
Did I bring it?
It was adequate with a capital
A.
I second that. Very proud,
Maxwell.
Thanks.
Hey, you guys were so good.
Do you have any music for sale?
Max, demo the girl.
Thanks. Are you guys still looking
for a place to crash tonight?
We are indeed.
Well if you'd like, you can come with me
to my grandma's. We've got tons of room.
Really? You're sure she wouldn't
mind?
Yeah, she's totally cool with
it.
We already have another band
staying the night.
Ah, rad! Who's the other band?
Turf war.
A roof's a roof, y'all.
Ugh. He even walks like a
dickhead.
I guess we can officially call
each other tour mates now.
Here's the situation.
I talked to the girl, and there are two
rooms in this house. One for each band.
Now, I figured given the fact that
y'all are last minute additions,
we'll take the larger room.
I mean, that and the fact that we're
four men and just need more space.
You think I'm being sexist or somethin'?
I mean, this is just biology here.
More body mass and all that.
You guys understand, right?
Glad we cleared that up.
Maybe we just leave and drive
through the night.
Ah, nonsense. You guys need a good
night's sleep before the big show.
We can make this work.
Yeah, I mean, it is getting
late.
Okay.
Peck, you sleep in here. The three of
us, we'll stay in the living room.
Are you sure?
Yeah. You snore like a son of a bitch so
don't think this is like a selfless gesture.
I'll take it.
We just need to get
the sleeping bags from the van.
Well, here.
You get what you need from the van
and, uh, I'll hit the hay.
I guess I'l go get all of our
shit.
Chase Nutley and here are
tonight's top stories.
Murderous mayhem at the Moon Motel.
How did a cozy cabin off the highway
become a sick carnival of
carnage early Saturday morning?
Bedtime.
On the scene is our own Chip
Hardaway with the latest.
Where should we set all of this
up?
Thanks, Steve.
Well it was a grizzly scene as the police were
called over here to the Moon Motel on RT 9
where officers discovered the dead and
half-eaten bodies of two motel employees.
The officers were offering no
information on leads at this time
but they have confirmed the
identities of the two victims.
They are Mark Spivey, age 27...
Where's Max?
Hey, have you guys seen...
Hello there.
Damn. It looks like you guys won't
be making the show tomorrow night.
But, fear not, we'll just make...
Hello.
Hey, it's past midnight and my grandma
has work really early in the morning.
You guys really need to keep it
down or she's gonna be pissed.
Of course. Of course. Namaste.
Where was I?
Oh, the show.
Fear not, we'll just make sure
to stop by the venue
in case The Queef Queens
need a last minute replacement.
Now all we have to do is round up your
white trash roadie and we'll be on our way.
Hoo, so, uh,
that was pretty wild back there, huh?
Oh! What the fuck?!
Does anybody have any music
they wanna listen to?
Hey, Max, you wanna choose a
station?
All right, listen, I am really sorry
that you're all covered in my dookie
but I came to your rescue,
didn't I?
How were you able to do that
when you sedated yourself?
Just some kind of sixth sense
shit, I guess?
Like when a mother knows that
her kids is hurt.
Wait!
Esteban Mendoza?
Okay, wait. Ju... just let...
What the fuck?
Peck, is this your van?
I can't believe I was so stupid.
Now hold your horses.
So this isn't your van.
What have you been injecting
yourself with?
Water.
So you've been hydrating
yourself every night?
I'm gonna be sick.
Hey, hey now.
How many people have you killed
since we started this tour?
Don't lie to us!
Well, counting the four back
there?
Just let them go.
No, no can do.
I mean, not at the moment at least.
We'll play our show tonight and
then we'll decide our next move.
No. No, we are not playing
tonight.
What?!
Come on.
No, I second that.
I mean you told me yourself,
this is your dream finally realized.
Now if you don't follow through
with it you're gonna regret it.
Hey, you guys are 45
minutes late to soundcheck.
I know. I'm sorry.
You smell like shit. Is that
shit?
No. Um, the van broke down in
mud, maybe it's manure. I don't.
I don't know.
How punk.
Listen, if you wanna bring your van around,
we have some guys who can help you load in...
No. Um, we, uh, got it
ourselves, actually.
Okay, then just get on stage.
We have a sound guy waiting for you.
Hey. You're in DUH, right?
Uh, yeah. Hi, Judy.
Right on. Jenn Jennings.
Yes. Of course you are. I, I
know.
I, uh, just listened to your demo
the other day. Your band is great.
That's, uh, cool. That means a
lot.
Uh, I, we thank you.
Um, we all really love
you guys, girls, women.
Your band, we, uh, love also.
Nervous?
Uh, very. Very nervous.
Do I look it?
Uh, a bit but you know, nerves
are good.
So what's the plan for the next
release?
Uh, well, we just got back from tour and
things are kinda up in the air at the moment.
So, I don't know actually.
Totally.
Hey, if you're into it,
we should get together next week and talk.
My partner and I, we own a label and I
think your stuff if right up our alley.
Wow, really?
Yeah.
I, uh, we would really
appreciate that.
I'll, uh, be right back.
Could you just, uh, please,
just excuse me? Okay.
What the fuck are you doing
here?
Oh, I just wanted to soak it in,
be a part of the moment, you know?
Where's the girl and her
grandmother?
Don't worry. I threw a
couple of blankets over them.
I'm just gonna be here a few
minutes. No harm.
It's over, Peck. You're out of
the band.
Excuse me?
I don't think you have the
authority to make that decision.
Okay, band vote. Who wants Peck
out of the band? Raise 'em.
After our set you're gonna let them
go and drive off, and if you don't,
I'm gonna call the cops
and tell them everything.
Well, Judy, you might wanna
rethink your ultimatum.
And y'all might wanna rethink your vote,
seeing that it's so close to midnight and all.
Yo, DUH, you're up!
Knock 'em dead, y'all.
Miss, the white van in the parking
lot, is that yours?
Miss? The white Dodge van, is
that yours?
There was an audible gasp in the courtroom
when Judge Morris Roland declared a mistrial
in the multiple homicide case involving
three members of NJ rock band DUH.
After nearly two full days
of deliberation,
twelve jurors returned to the court room
split on whether to find the accused:
27 year-old Judith Campbell
25 year-old Maxwell Jenkins
and 24 year-old Melissa Moxie
guilty of murdering four men
on the night of August 15th.
Many attribute the surprise
outcome to Katrina McNeill
and her grandmother, Ruth Dietrich,
who testified in court last Friday
that an older,
yet-to-be-identified man,
was responsible for the deaths of four
men in Dietrich's cottage last August.
The band, who have long maintained
that they were taken hostage
and unable to escape both
during and after the murders,
left the courtroom earlier today,
free for the first time in seven months.
There are currently no plans
for a retrial.
♪ Deflated wasted lungs ♪
♪ Irradiated blood ♪
♪ I've reassembled my head ♪
♪ My brain is still a chemical
spill ♪
♪ My brain is still a chemical
spill ♪
♪ Deflated wasted love ♪
♪ Emaciated dove ♪
♪ I've reassembled my head ♪
♪ My brain is still a chemical
spill ♪
♪ My brain is still a chemical
spill ♪
♪ My little love I am not around♪
♪ I've taken lost
and I don't want to be found ♪
♪ There's a lot that is wrong
in this world and me ♪
♪ There's a hole in my chest
where my heart used to be ♪
♪ There's a hole in my chest
where my heart should be ♪
♪ There's a hole in my chest
where my heart should be ♪