Un homme au pair (2013) - full transcript
Past 50 and unemployed for two years, formerly an acquisitions-and-mergers specialist, Maxime has been freeloading at his sister's for six months. Her boss Claire, a sexist, has a brilliant ten-year-old son, Jérémy, for whom Maxime is roped into being a full-time male nanny. And this is just the beginning of a progressive nightmare. But Jérémy has an idea...
A MALE AU PAIR
Maxime.
You've got a work appointment.
- I'm overqualified.
- Right. Have you seen the time?
Don't stress. Make me a coffee instead.
You've been here 6 months.
I've had enough. I'm not your mother.
I got you an interview with my boss.
Don't be late.
- It won't be any good. I'm...
- Overqualified. I know.
- But go, anyway.
- You're a pain, sis.
- And wash before you go.
- I'm not going to be a temp!
And shave, too!
Miss Friedman.
I think I was first.
I'm Maxime Vidick. I was sent by...
I know. Wait your turn.
Wonder Women, hello.
No. It's been taken. But send in your CV.
OK. Have a nice day.
You're wasting my time.
I don't want to discuss it. Goodbye.
Goodbye.
Good luck.
- Nicole. Send in the next.
- You can go in.
Thanks.
If you've lied on your CV,
you'll be off my lists.
Hello.
- You're in the wrong place.
- I'm Jeanne's brother.
I've never heard of her.
- She works here.
- The cleaning lady?
- That's right. Mrs Mop.
- Sorry?
No, nothing.
You're all I need. Sit down.
- Let's see your CV.
- Yes.
Here.
That'll teach me.
"Consultant"... What does that even mean?
10 years in the same office.
- It shows commitment.
- Or a lack of ambition.
Listen, I'll be straight.
You're over 50. That's too old in finance.
Have you thought of retraining?
In construction, as a tradesman,
manual work...
Very encouraging.
That's not why I'm here.
I'm doing a favour to your sister.
She's a good worker.
- Sorry?
- You've been out of work 2 years.
- You're living off her.
- Did she say that?
2 minutes.
Yes, Duong.
Not this evening!
I need you here.
Wait. Listen...
Duong, calm down.
I know. Men are all bastards.
Listen to me Duong.
- Nicole.
- Yes?
My babysitter got dumped.
Find someone else.
- Now?
- Yes. I've got something important.
Sort it out. And fast. Thanks.
Where were we?
You were saying how
I'm sponging off my sister.
Hello?
Hello.
I can't look after Jérémy this evening.
No. Because...
I'm doing some overtime.
Yes. No. I can't cancel.
I've already started.
Yes.
Did you see my brother?
Really?
Are you sure?
- She says you're good with kids.
- Really?
2 seconds, Jeanne.
She says you looked after your nieces.
What about this:
I'll finish here, then you come with me.
What?
You can look after my son.
I scratch your back, you scratch mine.
- 10 euros an hour?
- Are you joking?
12. Final offer.
I do mergers. I charge 300 an hour.
You used to. When did you last get paid?
Jeanne.
What do I say?
Shut the door.
Thanks.
Wait.
Jérémy?
Darling.
Come on.
Come along!
80, 24,000, 800...
There you are. I was looking for you.
- Hi, Mum.
- OK?
- You got back alright?
- With Adrien's mum.
I know. I asked her. Were you waiting long?
Who's that?
- It's...
- Maxime.
Maxime, right.
He's going to look after you.
Hello, Jérémy.
Say hello.
When's Duong coming?
I don't know. Not this evening.
800...
That's 23,900...
Right, I'll leave you to it. See you later.
1,537...
You can't smoke here. It's not allowed.
Sorry. I didn't know.
It's bad for the orchids.
I'm late. Is everything clear?
I think so.
Ah! Jérémy eats at 8 pm sharp.
You said.
And no TV after dinner.
I'm counting on you.
Call, if you need me. My number's...
On a Post-it on the fridge.
Right.
Peanuts are fattening.
When are we eating?
- What's on the menu?
- Duong chooses.
Isn't there something ready?
Is there something in the freezer?
We eat organic.
Damn...
Do you like pasta?
- Isn't Charles-Édouard here?
- He's stuck in Dubai.
- As usual.
- Yes.
All this is for no-one...
How do you work and find such nice dresses?
Thanks.
I keep it simple, darling.
Red is effective.
It almost makes me want to work again.
Is Rotman here? I can't see him.
No. Sorry. He cancelled.
- No!
- Yes.
I want to talk business.
No. Just relax and forget about work.
Look around. You might see
the man of your dreams.
He can make an appointment,
come to the agency.
Believe me, if I was free like you,
I'd make the most of it.
You're all right.
Your husband loves you and you don't work.
I'm all alone and I'm so bored...
I envy you.
Let's talk at 8 am,
when I'm at work and you're in bed.
Sophie.
Here. I missed. Too bad.
Enjoy it, kiddo.
- What?
- Can't you cook?
Not really.
I used to go to restaurants,
or just order something.
"Used to"?
Eat it while it's hot.
You go ahead.
Don't mind me.
Delicious. Go right ahead.
Eat.
If it goes cold, I won't reheat it for you.
You work in HR?
Yes. Managerial recruitment.
- Just women?
- That's right.
That's not so easy.
Why not? Because we're women?
No, because of the crisis.
The crisis is good news for me.
The redundancies mean I can
sell one person 3 times in a year.
- Can I borrow her?
- Sorry.
Look who's here.
He's so sexy.
- Jean-Marc Valant.
- Yes.
How did you get him?
Feminine charm.
He does top international recruitment.
The cream.
He has his pick. I'd let him recruit me.
- Forget it. No chance.
- Why not?
Look at the competition.
That old mare doesn't scare me.
Nice bodywork, doesn't go much
and thick as a plank.
Like me, a while back.
- Was it good?
- Delicious. I ate it all.
- I've got a maths test tomorrow.
- I can help you.
No, thanks, I'll be fine.
It's late. It's time for bed.
Come on.
- Come on.
- Wow...
- What?
- Great watch. Is it a fake?
Are you kidding? Look.
That's a Rolex Oyster. Look.
You must have done a lot of babysitting.
Jérémy, I'm not a babysitter.
I do mergers.
I'm doing your mum a favour.
She's... a friend.
Her friends are women.
I'm an exception.
What's a merger?
It's like a takeover.
I help companies
with their financial operations.
I work on spin-offs.
Let's say I work in finance.
Really?
You'd never guess.
Right, lights out. It's late.
Give me that.
Get to bed.
Hello.
- Was it OK?
- No problems.
I said he was lovely.
That's not necessary.
- Why not?
- It was a favour.
Take it. You need it.
- Take it.
- No thanks.
Bye.
You should cover up. It's so cold.
- I'll be fine.
- Wait there.
Where did I put it?
Where is it now?
- Here.
- I'm all right.
I insist. Listen...
My ex left it, along with his son,
and ran off with a 25-year-old to Dubai.
It's hot over there. He doesn't need it.
Take it. I don't need it.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Taxi!
Where were you?
I was working all night.
Really? Dressed like that?
Have you got a guy? What's his name?
All right. You're not my dad.
You can tell me, after yesterday.
- What happened?
- That thing with your crazy Claire.
You're getting back into work.
Right. Very funny.
You can go shopping now.
- I'm broke.
- Didn't she pay you?
Yes, but I took a taxi.
Have you lost the plot completely?
- Leave it out.
- You never learn.
All that money you earned and no savings.
Big salary, big outgoings.
You wouldn't know.
No. I wouldn't. But I pay all the bills.
- Make an effort.
- I do.
Sell your Rolex.
My Rolex?
It's not right, keeping a watch
like that if you're broke.
I'll never sell it. Do you hear me? Never.
Babysitters are such a pain.
It's a total nightmare.
Gwendo says it'll be great.
- Go without me. Really.
- It's no fun without you.
So?
Tell me about Jean-Marc.
- Come on!
- Not much happened.
A little kiss.
You're good.
You want to drive him crazy?
Why not? That'd be good payback.
You can't make them all pay
for your husband.
All right, darling?
You need to move on.
Is Duong really not coming back?
No. Her man dumped her.
She wants to go to Vietnam,
buy a shop in her village or something...
- Why did he leave her?
- For a younger woman.
Not the Vietnamese too...
It's an epidemic.
Men are all the same. The world over.
Not you, darling, of course.
Why? Aren't I a man?
Of course you're a man.
But it's not the same.
I'm fed up with being alone here.
I'll find another nanny.
I'll get a Vietnamese lady.
I want a man nanny.
Men nannies don't exist, darling.
What about Maxime?
Don't be ridiculous.
At least he wouldn't get dumped
by a stupid husband.
- He's got quite a temper on him.
- Like his father.
Who's Maxime?
Someone who did a bit of babysitting.
- Not bad, for meeting men.
- Are you kidding?
It's my cleaner's brother!
That's 80. Goodbye.
The pawnbroker is open
from Tuesday to Friday,
from 10 am to 6.30 pm,
and Saturdays from 9 am to 4 pm.
All transactions require ID.
21.
Hello.
You've got an appointment.
- Really?
- Yes, right now.
I'm on my way. Thanks.
Thanks for calling. I was surprised.
No problem. Close the door and sit down.
- What have you got?
- Do you have a criminal record?
Of course not.
- Illnesses? Allergies?
- No.
Do you take drugs, apart from cigarettes?
And we need to do something about that.
- Do you drink?
- What's this all about?
You'll be paid the going rate.
- Yes.
- There.
"Home worker"?
That's the official name.
Full-time nanny for my son.
You called me in to work in your house?
Have you got something else?
1,425 euros gross a month.
That means you can get a flat
and get out from under your sister's feet.
I drew up a contract.
We'll need a 2-month trial period.
I'm trying to help you.
It's only temporary.
In the meantime, I'll do my best...
to find something more appropriate.
Will you?
Yes. I promise.
Sign there and there.
- Initial.
- Just a second.
- Initial there.
- That one. OK.
- Thanks. And sign.
- I sign there.
And date. Thanks very much.
There.
See you tomorrow.
OK, Jérémy?
I'll be looking after you from now on.
For a while, anyway.
I knew you weren't in finance. Here.
What's that?
Carry it. I do violin on Tuesdays.
Really? Let's go.
Are you Jérémy's dad?
Not at all.
Maxime Vidick. Pleased to meet you.
Me too. I was thinking...
- Where's Duong?
- I replaced her.
- Who? You?
- Yes.
Are you a nanny?
For the moment.
That's so sweet!
That's great.
A man nanny.
What would that be? A "manny"?
Sorry. You're the first manny
I've ever met.
Where are you from?
Serbia? Romania?
No. I'm from France.
- No kids?
- No, thankfully.
Kids aren't the problem. It's the parents.
It'll be his mother.
That can happen.
Can I have my snack, Samira?
- What?
- My snack.
- When we get home.
- My snack...
Don't take that tone.
- Jérémy, here.
- Thanks Samira.
Here. Put this on...
What's this? It's ripped.
We were rolling around at school.
Be careful! Your mother will yell!
- Cool.
- You can fix it.
She won't notice a thing.
I can't sew.
Give it to me.
I'll do it this evening.
I'll call when it's done.
I'll need your number.
You're very kind. Thanks a lot.
Between two nannies, no problem.
- You're late.
- It was the bus.
Leave earlier and you'll get here on time.
No...
Here's a shopping list. Keep the receipts.
Give him his fruit juice.
- Right.
- You'll be late.
Jérémy, get a move on.
Come on.
Where's your jacket?
Get your jacket on, Jérémy.
I can't believe it.
Yes? No, no, no.
No. Don't do anything under 400.
They've tried this 10 times.
Too bad.
- Is she always like that?
- She's taking it easy.
Really?
Let's go.
Relax.
Head in.
- Why can't I do it?
- I don't know.
You don't need to defend yourself.
Very good.
Perfect, Claire.
- I saw Jean-Marc again.
- At last, you got him.
I want him to take an assistant
director. Then we'll see.
What? Don't you like him?
He's a bit smug.
That's a turn-on.
I'm not some kid that falls
in love straight away.
He has to deserve it.
Stringing him along,
you'll make him think
you're completely into him.
No chance.
I'm immune.
Jérémy, pick that up!
Emergency.
That's good work.
Do your homework while I prepare the...
- What an idiot!
- What?
Idiot! I forgot to do the shopping.
Cod, puréed carrots. That's why I forgot.
I like mashed carrots.
You're abnormal.
How about if I made pizzas?
You know, the round fatty things
covered in delicious stuff.
- Mum doesn't like them.
- Don't tell her.
- You mean lie?
- Why not?
It's not really a lie.
We won't tell her, to save her feelings.
Yes.
Girls fuss about everything.
We need to live in the real world.
Get it?
OK. But no homework.
Let's play some video games.
Deal.
I'm killing you.
- Go on!
- I'm killing you!
See? See that?
- That's it.
- You'll see.
It's your mum. Put the sound down.
Hello. Yes. Good evening.
Everything's fine. He's in bed.
Yes. Homework, shower, then...
The puréed carrot, as planned.
Thank you. See you later.
I've just changed babysitters.
- Is everything OK?
- Yes.
- How old is he?
- I don't know - 48, 50.
I meant your son.
He's 10. And very cute.
- Like his mother?
- A bit.
- With her eyes?
- Yes.
- Do you want a dessert?
- No, thanks.
Come home for a drink?
No. I've got an early start.
Of course you do.
But I had to ask.
Quite right.
I'm in no rush.
Jérémy.
Wake up. You'll be late.
Darling.
Hello?
What's wrong with Jérémy?
What time did he get to bed?
9 pm. Same as usual.
Something's wrong. Check his temperature.
I'm off. I'm late. Send me a text.
Bye, darling!
Get your t-shirt on. We're late.
They're dirty.
Doesn't she do washing?
Duong did it.
He deserves it.
- Hi, Maxime.
- Hi. Thanks for the jacket.
- No problem.
- So he's the manny.
This is Mamagondé.
Maryse. A male nanny. Good.
Nice to see you.
I have to go.
- Who does he think he is?
- The President, maybe.
Aren't we good enough for him?
I don't get it. He seemed nice.
You couldn't tell a sardine
from a barracuda.
All the same...
It can't be that complicated.
It won't open. Oh, no!
I don't believe it! Shit!
There.
I...
I can't believe it!
I do mergers!
Jérémy, help me! I can't manage.
Sort it out! It's not difficult.
"Put the thermostat to 30."
It's on 30. It says 30.
Jérémy, please, can you help me?
Start when you want. I can wait.
I said: "I can wait!"
André Ayew. Gignac again.
Is Marseille going to wait
and play against?
- Hello.
- Hello.
How was school, darling?
Good.
- Maxime, can I speak to you?
- Of course.
Maxime, I've given you a few days
to settle in.
Have you seen the state of the house?
Look at this.
There's no paper in the loos.
There's washing everywhere.
The living-room's disgusting.
- What do you want me to do?
- A bit of housework maybe.
I look after your son.
I'm not your maid.
You think you'll get 1,425 euros
for taking a child to school and back?
Your contract says "Home worker".
You look after the house:
that means cleaning and shopping.
This is humiliating.
I gave you a job and you accepted it.
You want me to do a woman's work?
That's your problem.
You think a man's too good.
Cleaning up's just for girls.
Everyone has their place.
Yours is in a museum.
You're so out of date.
Get over it.
This is the 20th century,
in case you hadn't noticed.
Look at this flower!
You need to understand:
I'm the boss, you're staff.
- Get it?
- Well, not anymore!
I quit. Happy now?
Sorry, Jérémy. Good luck.
Dickhead!
That's where kindness gets you.
You're useless.
A guy wouldn't stay 3 days here.
You should have heard how she spoke to me.
I was supposed to do the shopping,
cleaning, get the kid.
Maxime, I used to admire you.
Not anymore. You can't even nanny.
Don't start!
You think housework is shameful?
- What about me, for 30 years?
- It's not the same.
Oh? Because you're a man?
Right. Because I'm a man.
When we were kids, Mum cleaned up for you.
Then it was girlfriends, or a maid.
Now it's me. You know what? This is over.
"Over..." "You know what? This is over."
Tomorrow, you apologize to Claire.
Or you're out of here.
I want work. Work. Lots of kids.
Love kids, but no papers.
No papers.
I love kiddies.
They're so cool.
This gig's going to be so cool.
You name the time:
I'm your man.
Children need authority.
These days,
parents are too kind.
They feel guilty about their children.
With them, anything goes.
Back at boarding school,
it wasn't like that.
Believe me: discipline,
punishment and thrashings
have been tried and tested.
Nicole,
anyone else?
That was the last.
They were all crazy.
You see the speck in your brother's eye,
but not the beam in your own.
Sorry? I didn't hear.
No, no. Nothing, nothing.
Unbelievable. Absolutely unbelievable.
- Yes?
- It's Maxime.
My first class is at 11.
You can play with Nicole at the agency.
- I'm not 4 years old.
- Stop.
Can I speak to you?
Come in.
Why are you here? Did you forget something?
- I'd like my job back.
- After what happened?
Come on in.
Jérémy...
Have a nice day, Mum. See you later.
- Did that hurt?
- No. Not at all.
- What's that called?
- A present from the boss.
Did she shave her husband?
More than likely.
Telephone.
Hello. Samira? Are you busy?
No, no, not at all.
- I need to talk.
- It's Maxime.
Why did you give him your number?
Give me that.
- I've got a question.
- Hello?
Mr President.
- Hello?
- Hi. How are you?
He can talk now.
Sorry about last time. I need help.
Right. Barracuda.
I can't do my housework.
Sorry. We went into a tunnel.
Hello?
Just a bit of help.
He deserves a second chance.
Be nice, for once.
I just want a bit of help.
- You're in love.
- Don't be daft.
Quick.
Well, OK.
- But thank Samira.
- Thanks.
We need a favour from you, too.
OK. Whatever you want. Thanks.
Let's go.
Look at this.
Jesus, Mary and Joseph. What a mess!
This is such a mess.
- OK? What are you up to?
- I'm having a break.
"A break"?
Yes. According to contractual terms.
Really?
Listen, Mr Contractual Terms.
Do you think I like housework?
That's what my boss thinks.
You're going to do something.
This is your mess. Let's go!
Kneel down. Like this.
Take this. Put a lot on, like that.
Then rub.
Rub hard. Understand?
- Yes.
- Good. Both hands.
- And push.
- Go on!
- Like that.
- Rub! Rub! Rub!
- Go on!
- Funny, right?
Really.
Funny? You're going to work too.
- This is your place too.
- I've got homework to do.
- Consider this a practical.
- Thanks.
Let's go.
Hello.
Ah, hello.
What's happened here?
Nothing.
Just a bit of tidying up.
Did you get a cleaning lady?
- Not one, three.
- What?
- I'm joking.
- It's never been so clean.
Thanks.
Men are all the same.
- What?
- You just have to shout at them.
OK. Bye.
What's up with him?
You compliment him and he gets angry.
Where are you going?
Guys are so touchy.
1, 2, 3!
Happy birthday, uncle.
Happy birthday.
Thanks. What is it? You shouldn't have.
What is it?
Great! An apron with my name.
Great. I'm going to put it on.
That's great.
- Did you apologize?
- Yes, I did.
Tell us everything. How's the job?
Tiring. I didn't think it'd be so hard.
It makes me realize how lucky we guys are.
This is one birthday I won't be
forgetting in a rush.
You're right.
Your mum has got something
very important to tell you.
Maxime!
- What?
- Nothing.
Your mum's met someone.
What? Mum? What's this about?
Tell us.
No. I...
- What's his name?
- Miguel.
- What's he like?
- Well... He's nice.
He's into me and he's charming.
- What else?
- George Clooney!
Here's to George Clooney!
To George Clooney!
Don't get carried away.
- Is your homework done?
- It was too easy.
- What are you reading?
- Boris Vian.
Is that for your year?
No. So what?
I've already read Stefan Zweig.
OK...
What? "Sprinkle with sugar."
- Are you staying for dinner?
- No, I'm not invited.
I'm inviting you now.
No, no. No, Jérémy.
- Light the candles.
- Hello.
Smells good.
Hello, darling.
- Jérémy, this is Jean-Marc.
- Hello.
- Shake hands?
- Hello.
- Sorry, I...
- Sorry.
- Maxime, Jean-Marc.
- Pleased to meet you.
Me too. Jérémy, put the tart
in the oven at 120 degrees.
- See you tomorrow.
- Yes.
Who's Maxime?
- Why? Are you jealous?
- Is that a joke?
He's so sweet, in his apron.
- I was wondering who he is.
- The maid.
Ah... You've got a butch one.
I like them virile.
Jérémy, did you know,
Jean-Marc has a nice car.
Fancy a spin?
- Did he tell you about his house?
- Yes.
Charles-Édouard said it's great.
Where did you eat?
We ended up at home.
Maxime did a candlelit dinner for us.
That's a good idea.
- And then?
- Then what?
- Did you go to bed?
- With Maxime?
No. Not Maxime. Jean-Marc.
No, no. We had a kiss.
And?
Not bad.
What enthusiasm!
I can't do it at home. My son's there.
You'll end up alone,
with your son visiting you.
You need to get things moving again.
A guy would be good for your son, too.
- That's what Maxime's for.
- He's all you talk about!
Since he's been there,
the house runs like clockwork,
and Jérémy has come
out of himself.
Can I borrow him?
- Who?
- Maxime.
I need an extra on Sunday, for brunch.
- Would you mind?
- Not at all.
Great.
Aren't you sweating? I am.
I never do.
You're not human.
Well, yes. But I mean...
Ladies.
Stop with that. What will people think?
That you're great.
I don't know how to thank you.
Maxime, I think you've got a problem.
This is good.
1st in everything, except gym.
Mum will kill me.
3rd in gym is fine.
I'm no good.
Don't say that. I'll help you.
- I don't like sport.
- We can practise together.
I'll sort your marks out.
OK?
Cool.
18.5 in French. That's good.
See what the teacher wrote?
"Don't chat too much."
- That's no good.
- Adrien talks to me.
Oh, right. It's Adrien.
20 in maths, 17 in history,
18 in geography,
13 for sport?
That's really good progress.
I'm pleased.
I'm off. It's ready in the kitchen,
just heat it up.
Thanks. Oh! Wait Maxime.
I meant to tell you.
I've lent you out. I mean...
A friend needs an extra pair of hands
to work at her place.
You said I'd go?
I said it wouldn't bother you.
Here or somewhere else...
You hired me out to a friend?
No. I mean yes. Yes, in fact.
Just like a piece of furniture or a dog.
No. She'll pay your overtime.
You think money can buy everything?
You've got a funny way with people,
especially guys.
Don't start.
What will Jérémy think?
His father did a good job on that.
- I didn't need to help.
- Blame him.
I beg your pardon?
I get the picture.
Goodbye.
He gets on my nerves!
This is crazy!
- He won't be back.
- I'm not going to apologize.
So you'll get someone else?
In the name of all down-trodden
workers, I accept your apology.
That's what I said.
It was great!
You've got to tell them.
My boss is crazy. She goes around naked.
- Butt naked?
- Like I wasn't there.
Mine just can't stop arguing.
"You're useless. Totally unreliable."
"Why did I marry you?"
Mine's single, so that's all right.
They leave dirty sheets everywhere,
underwear, socks, you name it.
But it's our workplace.
They start off nice. They say: "Excuse me",
"Please may I...?" That's how it starts.
- But then...
- It all changes.
"Maxime, my friend needs a pair of hands.
"I'm sure you won't mind going.
"It won't bother you."
That's no good, Maxime.
- Sorry, Jérémy.
- And she doesn't speak like that.
"He's useless, Maxime!
"He needs to sharpen up
"if he wants to keep his job.
"Men are all the same.
Did you hear how he spoke to me?"
Very good.
- Good.
- He's not bad.
What's that?
Do you remember the favour?
Oh, no...
- Hello, Mum.
- Hello.
Hello, darling. I've had a terrible day.
- OK?
- Fine.
Jérémy was perfect. He's ready for bed.
Ah? Great.
I'll go. I'm a bit late.
- Good...
- I'll run you a bath.
"A bath"? That's kind.
Shall I read you a story?
- Mum, I'm 10!
- Oh! Sorry.
Shit!
So...
Honorine's a colleague. He got kicked out.
They didn't have anywhere to sleep,
so I thought...
OK.
You can stay tonight.
But you have to go tomorrow.
Dieuredieuf.
Thanks.
Dieuredieuf.
I understand. Maxime.
Come on, Jérémy.
Are you crazy? You're taking the piss.
- Let me explain.
- It's not...
What? Not cool? You're on his side?
- It's not his fault.
- Quiet! Go to your room.
- Let me explain.
- My keys.
OK, Jérémy?
Where's Maxime?
He got fired.
It's your fault, with your stupid plan!
All right, my cherub? OK? Hello.
Hello.
Come on! Let's go, dude!
- Madam.
- Thanks.
Maxime?
Sir, Madam, may I?
What are you doing here?
Your friend Sophie offered me a job.
You turn up everywhere.
- Hello.
- Hello.
See you later.
I'm happy. This is good.
Your Maxime is great. I couldn't
have managed without him.
- We need to talk about that.
- Really? Veronica!
Who's great?
Maxime, my butler. Claire lent him.
He's fantastic.
Where did you find him?
He's my son's nanny.
Or, he was.
That's great.
- A man who takes care of kids is...
- Unemployed.
- That was snide.
- No.
It was funny.
Would you mind giving me his number?
Here.
Everyone wants him.
- Go on.
- No, you.
- No, you.
- I'll buzz.
- Yes?
- Hello.
Hello.
The job's been taken.
- It's not that.
- It's about Maxime.
He doesn't work here.
- That's why we came.
- Right.
OK, come in.
- Go on.
- You.
- No. You.
- OK, girls.
It wasn't his fault.
I know, darling.
But even so, he shouldn't have done it.
There's a principle at stake.
I trusted him.
What's up?
Nothing. I'm fine.
You don't look it.
Look at your face...
It's not you. It's Jérémy.
Since I fired Maxime,
he's not been so well.
You know...
about Maxime.
Would it bother you
if I hired him permanently?
Yes, dammit, Sophie. It would.
Oh! Well, pardon me!
I don't want to steal your Maxime.
Don't be ridiculous. He's not my Maxime.
I couldn't care less. Do what you want.
You wouldn't guess.
- Problem?
- Yes, there's a problem.
Change the record? This is rubbish.
Listen to this solo. It's great!
Hello.
- Hello.
- Hello.
I'm going now. I've got a practice.
OK, Mum?
Yes, darling. I ate something bad.
Bye, cherub. See you tomorrow.
Maxime, I need your help.
There.
Don't worry, Jérémy. You did right to call.
I didn't know what to do.
She didn't look well.
This is good. Thanks.
Good. I'll leave you. Good night.
Good night.
He came straight here when he heard.
Really?
- Thanks for coming to see me.
- No problem.
This'll make you laugh.
I dreamt you were here last night.
You must have a fever. I was at home.
I'm sure.
I stopped by your office. I got your post.
Thanks.
Will you make me a tea?
Yes, of course.
Will you come back?
You've got someone.
Nothing like you, though.
Are you better?
Much. How were things here?
Good. I got the appointment with Onyx.
Perfect.
Your man dropped by for the post.
- I know.
- Is he working for you?
Yes. I took him in.
You're too good to people.
I might have found a way to get rid of him.
- Really?
- Here.
We got this request today.
I had a look at his CV.
It's a perfect match.
He'll jump on it. It's well paid.
Yes. That's good work, Nicole. Thanks.
- Shall I call him?
- No. I'll give it to him myself.
That'll be easier.
- Yes...
- Thanks Nicole.
Why don't you have kids, Maxime?
Why don't I have kids?
First, I never met a mother
and the time just passed me by.
How old are you?
Pass.
Maxime?
David.
How are you?
Didn't you get the chop?
No. I was lucky.
You? Did you find something?
Err...
All right, chap? I'm David.
I'm Jérémy.
Jérémy.
- In fact...
- Maxime is my Mum's guy.
OK. Don't change a winning team.
I'll leave you to it. I'm doing a merger.
- I understand.
- Of course.
- See you.
- Bye, David.
Thanks, Jérémy. Thanks a lot.
Hello.
Hello, Mum.
All right, darling? You're so sweet.
- OK?
- Jean-Marc called.
Really?
- Why didn't he call my mobile?
- He can't come.
No! Damn!
- Hello, Claire.
- Hello.
Why not take Maxime?
I'm staying with Adrien.
- What?
- Did you forget?
You didn't mention it.
I did. When you were sick. He invited me.
- I don't remember.
- You said yes. So did I.
I was hallucinating. Impossible.
Well,
would you mind coming?
I've got a work do and I can't go alone.
I'd have loved to, but to be honest...
it wouldn't work.
- No.
- No.
I thought I threw that out.
I wanted to keep it.
What is it?
It's his dad's dinner jacket.
It's so good of you to have come.
We won't stay long.
It's nice to see the exhibition.
- Champagne?
- Yes. I'd love some.
Thanks.
I'll keep you company.
Nice dress.
I forgot my business cards.
I'm all over the place.
Vidick!
- How are you?
- This is amazing.
- What are you doing here?
- I'm here for the exhibition.
- It's so nice to see you.
- What a surprise!
I heard you left Silver and Jones.
That's right.
May I introduce Claire Cambon?
She's from a company of head-hunters.
- Mr Delay.
- Wonder Women?
Yes. I'm pleased to meet you, Mr Delay.
I hear you have some good people.
I hope so.
I'd love to discuss them with you.
Do you work together?
Yes. Maxime came on board
a short while back.
Excellent choice.
Are you still as good as ever at golf?
I haven't played much recently.
- We were in Miami, right?
- Yes, Miami.
He trounced me. He trounced us all.
That was back then. I'm not as...
Hi Claire. Are you feeling better now?
It wasn't so serious.
What are you doing here?
I should be asking you that.
I thought you were sick, in bed.
What?
Ask your son. You could have told me
that you prefer that clown.
Are you crazy?
- Sorry.
- What does the babysitter want?
Stop! Jean-Marc, stop!
You're crazy!
You idiot.
Maxime.
- Are you all right.
- Yes.
Let's go.
Where's my bag?
I feel good. You wouldn't believe it.
I've been in training so long. What?
Nothing.
Wasn't that funny?
I don't want you fighting for me.
Why not?
You deal with everything,
you pay for everything,
and you even always drive.
Take it easy. You can drive if you want.
That's not what I mean.
What I'm trying to say
is that you can't replace a man
with a pink box.
Did you look through my things?
Did you look through my things?
Hello. Hello, ladies.
What a lovely day it is.
I love the colour of your pullover.
Did you tell Maxime Vidick about the offer?
- Yes. He's not interested.
- Sorry?
He said he's not interested.
He prefers housework?
Are you sure he read it?
I think so.
- Is he gay?
- No. Not at all.
Did you have a good day Madam?
- Madam hurried back.
- Really?
Is Madam aware
that this is the last day
of my trial period.
That's impossible, Jeeves.
- Did you forget?
- Totally.
Well, all the same, Madam...
I was quite specific, Madam.
- But, Madam...
- Watch the orchid!
Forget about the orchids.
You won't have to clean it up, Madam.
Maxime, I've done my homework!
What next?
I'm coming Jérémy! I'm coming!
Maxime!
Maxime!
Right...
- When you've got to go...
- Maxime, come up!
- Hello.
- I saw you.
You don't need to get up at 6 am
to fool me anymore.
- Tell me.
- No. It's a surprise.
Let's go.
Why won't you come and get me?
It's a surprise.
If I tell you, it won't be a surprise.
Go on now, young man.
- Hello.
- Hello.
There.
- I'll get our expert.
- OK.
Hello. OK?
Of course.
- Is Jérémy in bed?
- Look at the time.
- Don't I get a kiss?
- Of course.
You look good.
- Where have you been?
- It's a surprise.
Well, be careful now.
I don't really like surprises.
I know. It runs in the family.
Your breakfast is served.
Thank you.
Don't hesitate to ask if you need anything.
- We'll ring for you.
- Thank you, young man.
Could you take Jérémy to school today?
- Why?
- Jeanne needs me.
Well, if it's for Jeanne...
Did you see my case...? Ah.
What's that?
- I wanted to surprise you.
- By renting out a shop?
It's a business project
I'm putting together.
Business? Why? Are you going to leave us?
Not at all.
How long have you been lying to me?
- I'm not.
- You just did.
- You lie too.
- Me?
Nicole called about a job offer.
- Why didn't you tell me?
- Because we didn't need it.
That's not the point.
I need my independence.
- Independence?
- Yes.
Well, find it somewhere else.
I hear Dubai's nice.
Don't get upset. I'm not going anywhere.
Don't mess with me.
I need to be able to look myself
in the mirror.
You're all the same.
You just think of yourselves.
Leave me alone.
Leave me alone.
Claire, wait. This is silly...
Wait. Calm down.
There.
Don't worry. We're so good here.
Things are going to be great.
Don't treat me like a child.
I can't stand that.
OK.
I've got a plan, Jeanne.
It's a good plan,
and I'd like to do it together.
Go ahead.
It needs a bit of work.
We'll get a good team. No problems.
How are we going to pay for that?
Dream on, with your team.
- Hello.
- Oh!
We called George Clooney to the rescue.
Miguel.
Pleased to meet you, Miguel, and thanks
for helping out.
It's for the family. Where do I start?
Let's go!
Easy now.
Sorry.
MIGUEL BUILDER
That's enough. Eat your purée.
I don't like puréed carrot. It's gross.
Less of your cheek. Get a move on and eat.
You're weird. That's why you like it.
- Sorry? I didn't get that.
- Nothing.
I heard what you said.
You're not such a nice young man.
Where are you going? Stay here.
Sit back down.
I'm getting bored of this.
- Me too.
- Sorry?
You chased Dad out and then Maxime, too.
It's all your fault. No man will stay here.
You don't like men. And you don't like me.
Darling...
Leave me alone!
Give me your violin.
Listen, darling.
I know it's tough.
I'm sorry about your dad.
I know you miss him, it's not easy.
- But he was the one who left.
- So it's his fault?
No, it's not all his fault.
It's my fault too.
I'm sorry, darling.
I love you.
I love you.
I'm sorry, I don't have time.
Next week. Thanks.
Nicole, I asked you to give me
an hour in peace.
I thought you'd want to see this.
It just came in.
Who sent this?
I don't know. We got it by e-mail.
They want us to send
20 potential male candidates.
Men! What a world we live in!
- Hello.
- Hello.
All right, Jérémy?
- Hello.
- Hello.
Do you want a male au pair?
That way, please.
Hello.
Hello. Hello, Jérémy.
It won't stick?
Hello.
Hello. Hello.
So, we... OK?
We need to buy irons.
- The ceramic ones are best.
- Yes.
- Hello.
- Was this your surprise?
Yes. It was this.
Very good.
Thanks to you.
I'd never have thought of it.
Thanks to me, you mean.
I'm impressed.
That was the aim.
We'd love you to come for dinner tonight.
Or another evening.
I'd love to come too.
Well, then...
- See you soon.
- Yes.
Let's go.
What are you waiting for?
You just don't get women, bro.
- What?
- Go after her, if you love her.
- Go on. Move it!
- Go on!
You have to tell men everything.
It's lucky we're here to teach them.
Claire!
What are you waiting for?
Subtitles: Eclair Group
Maxime.
You've got a work appointment.
- I'm overqualified.
- Right. Have you seen the time?
Don't stress. Make me a coffee instead.
You've been here 6 months.
I've had enough. I'm not your mother.
I got you an interview with my boss.
Don't be late.
- It won't be any good. I'm...
- Overqualified. I know.
- But go, anyway.
- You're a pain, sis.
- And wash before you go.
- I'm not going to be a temp!
And shave, too!
Miss Friedman.
I think I was first.
I'm Maxime Vidick. I was sent by...
I know. Wait your turn.
Wonder Women, hello.
No. It's been taken. But send in your CV.
OK. Have a nice day.
You're wasting my time.
I don't want to discuss it. Goodbye.
Goodbye.
Good luck.
- Nicole. Send in the next.
- You can go in.
Thanks.
If you've lied on your CV,
you'll be off my lists.
Hello.
- You're in the wrong place.
- I'm Jeanne's brother.
I've never heard of her.
- She works here.
- The cleaning lady?
- That's right. Mrs Mop.
- Sorry?
No, nothing.
You're all I need. Sit down.
- Let's see your CV.
- Yes.
Here.
That'll teach me.
"Consultant"... What does that even mean?
10 years in the same office.
- It shows commitment.
- Or a lack of ambition.
Listen, I'll be straight.
You're over 50. That's too old in finance.
Have you thought of retraining?
In construction, as a tradesman,
manual work...
Very encouraging.
That's not why I'm here.
I'm doing a favour to your sister.
She's a good worker.
- Sorry?
- You've been out of work 2 years.
- You're living off her.
- Did she say that?
2 minutes.
Yes, Duong.
Not this evening!
I need you here.
Wait. Listen...
Duong, calm down.
I know. Men are all bastards.
Listen to me Duong.
- Nicole.
- Yes?
My babysitter got dumped.
Find someone else.
- Now?
- Yes. I've got something important.
Sort it out. And fast. Thanks.
Where were we?
You were saying how
I'm sponging off my sister.
Hello?
Hello.
I can't look after Jérémy this evening.
No. Because...
I'm doing some overtime.
Yes. No. I can't cancel.
I've already started.
Yes.
Did you see my brother?
Really?
Are you sure?
- She says you're good with kids.
- Really?
2 seconds, Jeanne.
She says you looked after your nieces.
What about this:
I'll finish here, then you come with me.
What?
You can look after my son.
I scratch your back, you scratch mine.
- 10 euros an hour?
- Are you joking?
12. Final offer.
I do mergers. I charge 300 an hour.
You used to. When did you last get paid?
Jeanne.
What do I say?
Shut the door.
Thanks.
Wait.
Jérémy?
Darling.
Come on.
Come along!
80, 24,000, 800...
There you are. I was looking for you.
- Hi, Mum.
- OK?
- You got back alright?
- With Adrien's mum.
I know. I asked her. Were you waiting long?
Who's that?
- It's...
- Maxime.
Maxime, right.
He's going to look after you.
Hello, Jérémy.
Say hello.
When's Duong coming?
I don't know. Not this evening.
800...
That's 23,900...
Right, I'll leave you to it. See you later.
1,537...
You can't smoke here. It's not allowed.
Sorry. I didn't know.
It's bad for the orchids.
I'm late. Is everything clear?
I think so.
Ah! Jérémy eats at 8 pm sharp.
You said.
And no TV after dinner.
I'm counting on you.
Call, if you need me. My number's...
On a Post-it on the fridge.
Right.
Peanuts are fattening.
When are we eating?
- What's on the menu?
- Duong chooses.
Isn't there something ready?
Is there something in the freezer?
We eat organic.
Damn...
Do you like pasta?
- Isn't Charles-Édouard here?
- He's stuck in Dubai.
- As usual.
- Yes.
All this is for no-one...
How do you work and find such nice dresses?
Thanks.
I keep it simple, darling.
Red is effective.
It almost makes me want to work again.
Is Rotman here? I can't see him.
No. Sorry. He cancelled.
- No!
- Yes.
I want to talk business.
No. Just relax and forget about work.
Look around. You might see
the man of your dreams.
He can make an appointment,
come to the agency.
Believe me, if I was free like you,
I'd make the most of it.
You're all right.
Your husband loves you and you don't work.
I'm all alone and I'm so bored...
I envy you.
Let's talk at 8 am,
when I'm at work and you're in bed.
Sophie.
Here. I missed. Too bad.
Enjoy it, kiddo.
- What?
- Can't you cook?
Not really.
I used to go to restaurants,
or just order something.
"Used to"?
Eat it while it's hot.
You go ahead.
Don't mind me.
Delicious. Go right ahead.
Eat.
If it goes cold, I won't reheat it for you.
You work in HR?
Yes. Managerial recruitment.
- Just women?
- That's right.
That's not so easy.
Why not? Because we're women?
No, because of the crisis.
The crisis is good news for me.
The redundancies mean I can
sell one person 3 times in a year.
- Can I borrow her?
- Sorry.
Look who's here.
He's so sexy.
- Jean-Marc Valant.
- Yes.
How did you get him?
Feminine charm.
He does top international recruitment.
The cream.
He has his pick. I'd let him recruit me.
- Forget it. No chance.
- Why not?
Look at the competition.
That old mare doesn't scare me.
Nice bodywork, doesn't go much
and thick as a plank.
Like me, a while back.
- Was it good?
- Delicious. I ate it all.
- I've got a maths test tomorrow.
- I can help you.
No, thanks, I'll be fine.
It's late. It's time for bed.
Come on.
- Come on.
- Wow...
- What?
- Great watch. Is it a fake?
Are you kidding? Look.
That's a Rolex Oyster. Look.
You must have done a lot of babysitting.
Jérémy, I'm not a babysitter.
I do mergers.
I'm doing your mum a favour.
She's... a friend.
Her friends are women.
I'm an exception.
What's a merger?
It's like a takeover.
I help companies
with their financial operations.
I work on spin-offs.
Let's say I work in finance.
Really?
You'd never guess.
Right, lights out. It's late.
Give me that.
Get to bed.
Hello.
- Was it OK?
- No problems.
I said he was lovely.
That's not necessary.
- Why not?
- It was a favour.
Take it. You need it.
- Take it.
- No thanks.
Bye.
You should cover up. It's so cold.
- I'll be fine.
- Wait there.
Where did I put it?
Where is it now?
- Here.
- I'm all right.
I insist. Listen...
My ex left it, along with his son,
and ran off with a 25-year-old to Dubai.
It's hot over there. He doesn't need it.
Take it. I don't need it.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Taxi!
Where were you?
I was working all night.
Really? Dressed like that?
Have you got a guy? What's his name?
All right. You're not my dad.
You can tell me, after yesterday.
- What happened?
- That thing with your crazy Claire.
You're getting back into work.
Right. Very funny.
You can go shopping now.
- I'm broke.
- Didn't she pay you?
Yes, but I took a taxi.
Have you lost the plot completely?
- Leave it out.
- You never learn.
All that money you earned and no savings.
Big salary, big outgoings.
You wouldn't know.
No. I wouldn't. But I pay all the bills.
- Make an effort.
- I do.
Sell your Rolex.
My Rolex?
It's not right, keeping a watch
like that if you're broke.
I'll never sell it. Do you hear me? Never.
Babysitters are such a pain.
It's a total nightmare.
Gwendo says it'll be great.
- Go without me. Really.
- It's no fun without you.
So?
Tell me about Jean-Marc.
- Come on!
- Not much happened.
A little kiss.
You're good.
You want to drive him crazy?
Why not? That'd be good payback.
You can't make them all pay
for your husband.
All right, darling?
You need to move on.
Is Duong really not coming back?
No. Her man dumped her.
She wants to go to Vietnam,
buy a shop in her village or something...
- Why did he leave her?
- For a younger woman.
Not the Vietnamese too...
It's an epidemic.
Men are all the same. The world over.
Not you, darling, of course.
Why? Aren't I a man?
Of course you're a man.
But it's not the same.
I'm fed up with being alone here.
I'll find another nanny.
I'll get a Vietnamese lady.
I want a man nanny.
Men nannies don't exist, darling.
What about Maxime?
Don't be ridiculous.
At least he wouldn't get dumped
by a stupid husband.
- He's got quite a temper on him.
- Like his father.
Who's Maxime?
Someone who did a bit of babysitting.
- Not bad, for meeting men.
- Are you kidding?
It's my cleaner's brother!
That's 80. Goodbye.
The pawnbroker is open
from Tuesday to Friday,
from 10 am to 6.30 pm,
and Saturdays from 9 am to 4 pm.
All transactions require ID.
21.
Hello.
You've got an appointment.
- Really?
- Yes, right now.
I'm on my way. Thanks.
Thanks for calling. I was surprised.
No problem. Close the door and sit down.
- What have you got?
- Do you have a criminal record?
Of course not.
- Illnesses? Allergies?
- No.
Do you take drugs, apart from cigarettes?
And we need to do something about that.
- Do you drink?
- What's this all about?
You'll be paid the going rate.
- Yes.
- There.
"Home worker"?
That's the official name.
Full-time nanny for my son.
You called me in to work in your house?
Have you got something else?
1,425 euros gross a month.
That means you can get a flat
and get out from under your sister's feet.
I drew up a contract.
We'll need a 2-month trial period.
I'm trying to help you.
It's only temporary.
In the meantime, I'll do my best...
to find something more appropriate.
Will you?
Yes. I promise.
Sign there and there.
- Initial.
- Just a second.
- Initial there.
- That one. OK.
- Thanks. And sign.
- I sign there.
And date. Thanks very much.
There.
See you tomorrow.
OK, Jérémy?
I'll be looking after you from now on.
For a while, anyway.
I knew you weren't in finance. Here.
What's that?
Carry it. I do violin on Tuesdays.
Really? Let's go.
Are you Jérémy's dad?
Not at all.
Maxime Vidick. Pleased to meet you.
Me too. I was thinking...
- Where's Duong?
- I replaced her.
- Who? You?
- Yes.
Are you a nanny?
For the moment.
That's so sweet!
That's great.
A man nanny.
What would that be? A "manny"?
Sorry. You're the first manny
I've ever met.
Where are you from?
Serbia? Romania?
No. I'm from France.
- No kids?
- No, thankfully.
Kids aren't the problem. It's the parents.
It'll be his mother.
That can happen.
Can I have my snack, Samira?
- What?
- My snack.
- When we get home.
- My snack...
Don't take that tone.
- Jérémy, here.
- Thanks Samira.
Here. Put this on...
What's this? It's ripped.
We were rolling around at school.
Be careful! Your mother will yell!
- Cool.
- You can fix it.
She won't notice a thing.
I can't sew.
Give it to me.
I'll do it this evening.
I'll call when it's done.
I'll need your number.
You're very kind. Thanks a lot.
Between two nannies, no problem.
- You're late.
- It was the bus.
Leave earlier and you'll get here on time.
No...
Here's a shopping list. Keep the receipts.
Give him his fruit juice.
- Right.
- You'll be late.
Jérémy, get a move on.
Come on.
Where's your jacket?
Get your jacket on, Jérémy.
I can't believe it.
Yes? No, no, no.
No. Don't do anything under 400.
They've tried this 10 times.
Too bad.
- Is she always like that?
- She's taking it easy.
Really?
Let's go.
Relax.
Head in.
- Why can't I do it?
- I don't know.
You don't need to defend yourself.
Very good.
Perfect, Claire.
- I saw Jean-Marc again.
- At last, you got him.
I want him to take an assistant
director. Then we'll see.
What? Don't you like him?
He's a bit smug.
That's a turn-on.
I'm not some kid that falls
in love straight away.
He has to deserve it.
Stringing him along,
you'll make him think
you're completely into him.
No chance.
I'm immune.
Jérémy, pick that up!
Emergency.
That's good work.
Do your homework while I prepare the...
- What an idiot!
- What?
Idiot! I forgot to do the shopping.
Cod, puréed carrots. That's why I forgot.
I like mashed carrots.
You're abnormal.
How about if I made pizzas?
You know, the round fatty things
covered in delicious stuff.
- Mum doesn't like them.
- Don't tell her.
- You mean lie?
- Why not?
It's not really a lie.
We won't tell her, to save her feelings.
Yes.
Girls fuss about everything.
We need to live in the real world.
Get it?
OK. But no homework.
Let's play some video games.
Deal.
I'm killing you.
- Go on!
- I'm killing you!
See? See that?
- That's it.
- You'll see.
It's your mum. Put the sound down.
Hello. Yes. Good evening.
Everything's fine. He's in bed.
Yes. Homework, shower, then...
The puréed carrot, as planned.
Thank you. See you later.
I've just changed babysitters.
- Is everything OK?
- Yes.
- How old is he?
- I don't know - 48, 50.
I meant your son.
He's 10. And very cute.
- Like his mother?
- A bit.
- With her eyes?
- Yes.
- Do you want a dessert?
- No, thanks.
Come home for a drink?
No. I've got an early start.
Of course you do.
But I had to ask.
Quite right.
I'm in no rush.
Jérémy.
Wake up. You'll be late.
Darling.
Hello?
What's wrong with Jérémy?
What time did he get to bed?
9 pm. Same as usual.
Something's wrong. Check his temperature.
I'm off. I'm late. Send me a text.
Bye, darling!
Get your t-shirt on. We're late.
They're dirty.
Doesn't she do washing?
Duong did it.
He deserves it.
- Hi, Maxime.
- Hi. Thanks for the jacket.
- No problem.
- So he's the manny.
This is Mamagondé.
Maryse. A male nanny. Good.
Nice to see you.
I have to go.
- Who does he think he is?
- The President, maybe.
Aren't we good enough for him?
I don't get it. He seemed nice.
You couldn't tell a sardine
from a barracuda.
All the same...
It can't be that complicated.
It won't open. Oh, no!
I don't believe it! Shit!
There.
I...
I can't believe it!
I do mergers!
Jérémy, help me! I can't manage.
Sort it out! It's not difficult.
"Put the thermostat to 30."
It's on 30. It says 30.
Jérémy, please, can you help me?
Start when you want. I can wait.
I said: "I can wait!"
André Ayew. Gignac again.
Is Marseille going to wait
and play against?
- Hello.
- Hello.
How was school, darling?
Good.
- Maxime, can I speak to you?
- Of course.
Maxime, I've given you a few days
to settle in.
Have you seen the state of the house?
Look at this.
There's no paper in the loos.
There's washing everywhere.
The living-room's disgusting.
- What do you want me to do?
- A bit of housework maybe.
I look after your son.
I'm not your maid.
You think you'll get 1,425 euros
for taking a child to school and back?
Your contract says "Home worker".
You look after the house:
that means cleaning and shopping.
This is humiliating.
I gave you a job and you accepted it.
You want me to do a woman's work?
That's your problem.
You think a man's too good.
Cleaning up's just for girls.
Everyone has their place.
Yours is in a museum.
You're so out of date.
Get over it.
This is the 20th century,
in case you hadn't noticed.
Look at this flower!
You need to understand:
I'm the boss, you're staff.
- Get it?
- Well, not anymore!
I quit. Happy now?
Sorry, Jérémy. Good luck.
Dickhead!
That's where kindness gets you.
You're useless.
A guy wouldn't stay 3 days here.
You should have heard how she spoke to me.
I was supposed to do the shopping,
cleaning, get the kid.
Maxime, I used to admire you.
Not anymore. You can't even nanny.
Don't start!
You think housework is shameful?
- What about me, for 30 years?
- It's not the same.
Oh? Because you're a man?
Right. Because I'm a man.
When we were kids, Mum cleaned up for you.
Then it was girlfriends, or a maid.
Now it's me. You know what? This is over.
"Over..." "You know what? This is over."
Tomorrow, you apologize to Claire.
Or you're out of here.
I want work. Work. Lots of kids.
Love kids, but no papers.
No papers.
I love kiddies.
They're so cool.
This gig's going to be so cool.
You name the time:
I'm your man.
Children need authority.
These days,
parents are too kind.
They feel guilty about their children.
With them, anything goes.
Back at boarding school,
it wasn't like that.
Believe me: discipline,
punishment and thrashings
have been tried and tested.
Nicole,
anyone else?
That was the last.
They were all crazy.
You see the speck in your brother's eye,
but not the beam in your own.
Sorry? I didn't hear.
No, no. Nothing, nothing.
Unbelievable. Absolutely unbelievable.
- Yes?
- It's Maxime.
My first class is at 11.
You can play with Nicole at the agency.
- I'm not 4 years old.
- Stop.
Can I speak to you?
Come in.
Why are you here? Did you forget something?
- I'd like my job back.
- After what happened?
Come on in.
Jérémy...
Have a nice day, Mum. See you later.
- Did that hurt?
- No. Not at all.
- What's that called?
- A present from the boss.
Did she shave her husband?
More than likely.
Telephone.
Hello. Samira? Are you busy?
No, no, not at all.
- I need to talk.
- It's Maxime.
Why did you give him your number?
Give me that.
- I've got a question.
- Hello?
Mr President.
- Hello?
- Hi. How are you?
He can talk now.
Sorry about last time. I need help.
Right. Barracuda.
I can't do my housework.
Sorry. We went into a tunnel.
Hello?
Just a bit of help.
He deserves a second chance.
Be nice, for once.
I just want a bit of help.
- You're in love.
- Don't be daft.
Quick.
Well, OK.
- But thank Samira.
- Thanks.
We need a favour from you, too.
OK. Whatever you want. Thanks.
Let's go.
Look at this.
Jesus, Mary and Joseph. What a mess!
This is such a mess.
- OK? What are you up to?
- I'm having a break.
"A break"?
Yes. According to contractual terms.
Really?
Listen, Mr Contractual Terms.
Do you think I like housework?
That's what my boss thinks.
You're going to do something.
This is your mess. Let's go!
Kneel down. Like this.
Take this. Put a lot on, like that.
Then rub.
Rub hard. Understand?
- Yes.
- Good. Both hands.
- And push.
- Go on!
- Like that.
- Rub! Rub! Rub!
- Go on!
- Funny, right?
Really.
Funny? You're going to work too.
- This is your place too.
- I've got homework to do.
- Consider this a practical.
- Thanks.
Let's go.
Hello.
Ah, hello.
What's happened here?
Nothing.
Just a bit of tidying up.
Did you get a cleaning lady?
- Not one, three.
- What?
- I'm joking.
- It's never been so clean.
Thanks.
Men are all the same.
- What?
- You just have to shout at them.
OK. Bye.
What's up with him?
You compliment him and he gets angry.
Where are you going?
Guys are so touchy.
1, 2, 3!
Happy birthday, uncle.
Happy birthday.
Thanks. What is it? You shouldn't have.
What is it?
Great! An apron with my name.
Great. I'm going to put it on.
That's great.
- Did you apologize?
- Yes, I did.
Tell us everything. How's the job?
Tiring. I didn't think it'd be so hard.
It makes me realize how lucky we guys are.
This is one birthday I won't be
forgetting in a rush.
You're right.
Your mum has got something
very important to tell you.
Maxime!
- What?
- Nothing.
Your mum's met someone.
What? Mum? What's this about?
Tell us.
No. I...
- What's his name?
- Miguel.
- What's he like?
- Well... He's nice.
He's into me and he's charming.
- What else?
- George Clooney!
Here's to George Clooney!
To George Clooney!
Don't get carried away.
- Is your homework done?
- It was too easy.
- What are you reading?
- Boris Vian.
Is that for your year?
No. So what?
I've already read Stefan Zweig.
OK...
What? "Sprinkle with sugar."
- Are you staying for dinner?
- No, I'm not invited.
I'm inviting you now.
No, no. No, Jérémy.
- Light the candles.
- Hello.
Smells good.
Hello, darling.
- Jérémy, this is Jean-Marc.
- Hello.
- Shake hands?
- Hello.
- Sorry, I...
- Sorry.
- Maxime, Jean-Marc.
- Pleased to meet you.
Me too. Jérémy, put the tart
in the oven at 120 degrees.
- See you tomorrow.
- Yes.
Who's Maxime?
- Why? Are you jealous?
- Is that a joke?
He's so sweet, in his apron.
- I was wondering who he is.
- The maid.
Ah... You've got a butch one.
I like them virile.
Jérémy, did you know,
Jean-Marc has a nice car.
Fancy a spin?
- Did he tell you about his house?
- Yes.
Charles-Édouard said it's great.
Where did you eat?
We ended up at home.
Maxime did a candlelit dinner for us.
That's a good idea.
- And then?
- Then what?
- Did you go to bed?
- With Maxime?
No. Not Maxime. Jean-Marc.
No, no. We had a kiss.
And?
Not bad.
What enthusiasm!
I can't do it at home. My son's there.
You'll end up alone,
with your son visiting you.
You need to get things moving again.
A guy would be good for your son, too.
- That's what Maxime's for.
- He's all you talk about!
Since he's been there,
the house runs like clockwork,
and Jérémy has come
out of himself.
Can I borrow him?
- Who?
- Maxime.
I need an extra on Sunday, for brunch.
- Would you mind?
- Not at all.
Great.
Aren't you sweating? I am.
I never do.
You're not human.
Well, yes. But I mean...
Ladies.
Stop with that. What will people think?
That you're great.
I don't know how to thank you.
Maxime, I think you've got a problem.
This is good.
1st in everything, except gym.
Mum will kill me.
3rd in gym is fine.
I'm no good.
Don't say that. I'll help you.
- I don't like sport.
- We can practise together.
I'll sort your marks out.
OK?
Cool.
18.5 in French. That's good.
See what the teacher wrote?
"Don't chat too much."
- That's no good.
- Adrien talks to me.
Oh, right. It's Adrien.
20 in maths, 17 in history,
18 in geography,
13 for sport?
That's really good progress.
I'm pleased.
I'm off. It's ready in the kitchen,
just heat it up.
Thanks. Oh! Wait Maxime.
I meant to tell you.
I've lent you out. I mean...
A friend needs an extra pair of hands
to work at her place.
You said I'd go?
I said it wouldn't bother you.
Here or somewhere else...
You hired me out to a friend?
No. I mean yes. Yes, in fact.
Just like a piece of furniture or a dog.
No. She'll pay your overtime.
You think money can buy everything?
You've got a funny way with people,
especially guys.
Don't start.
What will Jérémy think?
His father did a good job on that.
- I didn't need to help.
- Blame him.
I beg your pardon?
I get the picture.
Goodbye.
He gets on my nerves!
This is crazy!
- He won't be back.
- I'm not going to apologize.
So you'll get someone else?
In the name of all down-trodden
workers, I accept your apology.
That's what I said.
It was great!
You've got to tell them.
My boss is crazy. She goes around naked.
- Butt naked?
- Like I wasn't there.
Mine just can't stop arguing.
"You're useless. Totally unreliable."
"Why did I marry you?"
Mine's single, so that's all right.
They leave dirty sheets everywhere,
underwear, socks, you name it.
But it's our workplace.
They start off nice. They say: "Excuse me",
"Please may I...?" That's how it starts.
- But then...
- It all changes.
"Maxime, my friend needs a pair of hands.
"I'm sure you won't mind going.
"It won't bother you."
That's no good, Maxime.
- Sorry, Jérémy.
- And she doesn't speak like that.
"He's useless, Maxime!
"He needs to sharpen up
"if he wants to keep his job.
"Men are all the same.
Did you hear how he spoke to me?"
Very good.
- Good.
- He's not bad.
What's that?
Do you remember the favour?
Oh, no...
- Hello, Mum.
- Hello.
Hello, darling. I've had a terrible day.
- OK?
- Fine.
Jérémy was perfect. He's ready for bed.
Ah? Great.
I'll go. I'm a bit late.
- Good...
- I'll run you a bath.
"A bath"? That's kind.
Shall I read you a story?
- Mum, I'm 10!
- Oh! Sorry.
Shit!
So...
Honorine's a colleague. He got kicked out.
They didn't have anywhere to sleep,
so I thought...
OK.
You can stay tonight.
But you have to go tomorrow.
Dieuredieuf.
Thanks.
Dieuredieuf.
I understand. Maxime.
Come on, Jérémy.
Are you crazy? You're taking the piss.
- Let me explain.
- It's not...
What? Not cool? You're on his side?
- It's not his fault.
- Quiet! Go to your room.
- Let me explain.
- My keys.
OK, Jérémy?
Where's Maxime?
He got fired.
It's your fault, with your stupid plan!
All right, my cherub? OK? Hello.
Hello.
Come on! Let's go, dude!
- Madam.
- Thanks.
Maxime?
Sir, Madam, may I?
What are you doing here?
Your friend Sophie offered me a job.
You turn up everywhere.
- Hello.
- Hello.
See you later.
I'm happy. This is good.
Your Maxime is great. I couldn't
have managed without him.
- We need to talk about that.
- Really? Veronica!
Who's great?
Maxime, my butler. Claire lent him.
He's fantastic.
Where did you find him?
He's my son's nanny.
Or, he was.
That's great.
- A man who takes care of kids is...
- Unemployed.
- That was snide.
- No.
It was funny.
Would you mind giving me his number?
Here.
Everyone wants him.
- Go on.
- No, you.
- No, you.
- I'll buzz.
- Yes?
- Hello.
Hello.
The job's been taken.
- It's not that.
- It's about Maxime.
He doesn't work here.
- That's why we came.
- Right.
OK, come in.
- Go on.
- You.
- No. You.
- OK, girls.
It wasn't his fault.
I know, darling.
But even so, he shouldn't have done it.
There's a principle at stake.
I trusted him.
What's up?
Nothing. I'm fine.
You don't look it.
Look at your face...
It's not you. It's Jérémy.
Since I fired Maxime,
he's not been so well.
You know...
about Maxime.
Would it bother you
if I hired him permanently?
Yes, dammit, Sophie. It would.
Oh! Well, pardon me!
I don't want to steal your Maxime.
Don't be ridiculous. He's not my Maxime.
I couldn't care less. Do what you want.
You wouldn't guess.
- Problem?
- Yes, there's a problem.
Change the record? This is rubbish.
Listen to this solo. It's great!
Hello.
- Hello.
- Hello.
I'm going now. I've got a practice.
OK, Mum?
Yes, darling. I ate something bad.
Bye, cherub. See you tomorrow.
Maxime, I need your help.
There.
Don't worry, Jérémy. You did right to call.
I didn't know what to do.
She didn't look well.
This is good. Thanks.
Good. I'll leave you. Good night.
Good night.
He came straight here when he heard.
Really?
- Thanks for coming to see me.
- No problem.
This'll make you laugh.
I dreamt you were here last night.
You must have a fever. I was at home.
I'm sure.
I stopped by your office. I got your post.
Thanks.
Will you make me a tea?
Yes, of course.
Will you come back?
You've got someone.
Nothing like you, though.
Are you better?
Much. How were things here?
Good. I got the appointment with Onyx.
Perfect.
Your man dropped by for the post.
- I know.
- Is he working for you?
Yes. I took him in.
You're too good to people.
I might have found a way to get rid of him.
- Really?
- Here.
We got this request today.
I had a look at his CV.
It's a perfect match.
He'll jump on it. It's well paid.
Yes. That's good work, Nicole. Thanks.
- Shall I call him?
- No. I'll give it to him myself.
That'll be easier.
- Yes...
- Thanks Nicole.
Why don't you have kids, Maxime?
Why don't I have kids?
First, I never met a mother
and the time just passed me by.
How old are you?
Pass.
Maxime?
David.
How are you?
Didn't you get the chop?
No. I was lucky.
You? Did you find something?
Err...
All right, chap? I'm David.
I'm Jérémy.
Jérémy.
- In fact...
- Maxime is my Mum's guy.
OK. Don't change a winning team.
I'll leave you to it. I'm doing a merger.
- I understand.
- Of course.
- See you.
- Bye, David.
Thanks, Jérémy. Thanks a lot.
Hello.
Hello, Mum.
All right, darling? You're so sweet.
- OK?
- Jean-Marc called.
Really?
- Why didn't he call my mobile?
- He can't come.
No! Damn!
- Hello, Claire.
- Hello.
Why not take Maxime?
I'm staying with Adrien.
- What?
- Did you forget?
You didn't mention it.
I did. When you were sick. He invited me.
- I don't remember.
- You said yes. So did I.
I was hallucinating. Impossible.
Well,
would you mind coming?
I've got a work do and I can't go alone.
I'd have loved to, but to be honest...
it wouldn't work.
- No.
- No.
I thought I threw that out.
I wanted to keep it.
What is it?
It's his dad's dinner jacket.
It's so good of you to have come.
We won't stay long.
It's nice to see the exhibition.
- Champagne?
- Yes. I'd love some.
Thanks.
I'll keep you company.
Nice dress.
I forgot my business cards.
I'm all over the place.
Vidick!
- How are you?
- This is amazing.
- What are you doing here?
- I'm here for the exhibition.
- It's so nice to see you.
- What a surprise!
I heard you left Silver and Jones.
That's right.
May I introduce Claire Cambon?
She's from a company of head-hunters.
- Mr Delay.
- Wonder Women?
Yes. I'm pleased to meet you, Mr Delay.
I hear you have some good people.
I hope so.
I'd love to discuss them with you.
Do you work together?
Yes. Maxime came on board
a short while back.
Excellent choice.
Are you still as good as ever at golf?
I haven't played much recently.
- We were in Miami, right?
- Yes, Miami.
He trounced me. He trounced us all.
That was back then. I'm not as...
Hi Claire. Are you feeling better now?
It wasn't so serious.
What are you doing here?
I should be asking you that.
I thought you were sick, in bed.
What?
Ask your son. You could have told me
that you prefer that clown.
Are you crazy?
- Sorry.
- What does the babysitter want?
Stop! Jean-Marc, stop!
You're crazy!
You idiot.
Maxime.
- Are you all right.
- Yes.
Let's go.
Where's my bag?
I feel good. You wouldn't believe it.
I've been in training so long. What?
Nothing.
Wasn't that funny?
I don't want you fighting for me.
Why not?
You deal with everything,
you pay for everything,
and you even always drive.
Take it easy. You can drive if you want.
That's not what I mean.
What I'm trying to say
is that you can't replace a man
with a pink box.
Did you look through my things?
Did you look through my things?
Hello. Hello, ladies.
What a lovely day it is.
I love the colour of your pullover.
Did you tell Maxime Vidick about the offer?
- Yes. He's not interested.
- Sorry?
He said he's not interested.
He prefers housework?
Are you sure he read it?
I think so.
- Is he gay?
- No. Not at all.
Did you have a good day Madam?
- Madam hurried back.
- Really?
Is Madam aware
that this is the last day
of my trial period.
That's impossible, Jeeves.
- Did you forget?
- Totally.
Well, all the same, Madam...
I was quite specific, Madam.
- But, Madam...
- Watch the orchid!
Forget about the orchids.
You won't have to clean it up, Madam.
Maxime, I've done my homework!
What next?
I'm coming Jérémy! I'm coming!
Maxime!
Maxime!
Right...
- When you've got to go...
- Maxime, come up!
- Hello.
- I saw you.
You don't need to get up at 6 am
to fool me anymore.
- Tell me.
- No. It's a surprise.
Let's go.
Why won't you come and get me?
It's a surprise.
If I tell you, it won't be a surprise.
Go on now, young man.
- Hello.
- Hello.
There.
- I'll get our expert.
- OK.
Hello. OK?
Of course.
- Is Jérémy in bed?
- Look at the time.
- Don't I get a kiss?
- Of course.
You look good.
- Where have you been?
- It's a surprise.
Well, be careful now.
I don't really like surprises.
I know. It runs in the family.
Your breakfast is served.
Thank you.
Don't hesitate to ask if you need anything.
- We'll ring for you.
- Thank you, young man.
Could you take Jérémy to school today?
- Why?
- Jeanne needs me.
Well, if it's for Jeanne...
Did you see my case...? Ah.
What's that?
- I wanted to surprise you.
- By renting out a shop?
It's a business project
I'm putting together.
Business? Why? Are you going to leave us?
Not at all.
How long have you been lying to me?
- I'm not.
- You just did.
- You lie too.
- Me?
Nicole called about a job offer.
- Why didn't you tell me?
- Because we didn't need it.
That's not the point.
I need my independence.
- Independence?
- Yes.
Well, find it somewhere else.
I hear Dubai's nice.
Don't get upset. I'm not going anywhere.
Don't mess with me.
I need to be able to look myself
in the mirror.
You're all the same.
You just think of yourselves.
Leave me alone.
Leave me alone.
Claire, wait. This is silly...
Wait. Calm down.
There.
Don't worry. We're so good here.
Things are going to be great.
Don't treat me like a child.
I can't stand that.
OK.
I've got a plan, Jeanne.
It's a good plan,
and I'd like to do it together.
Go ahead.
It needs a bit of work.
We'll get a good team. No problems.
How are we going to pay for that?
Dream on, with your team.
- Hello.
- Oh!
We called George Clooney to the rescue.
Miguel.
Pleased to meet you, Miguel, and thanks
for helping out.
It's for the family. Where do I start?
Let's go!
Easy now.
Sorry.
MIGUEL BUILDER
That's enough. Eat your purée.
I don't like puréed carrot. It's gross.
Less of your cheek. Get a move on and eat.
You're weird. That's why you like it.
- Sorry? I didn't get that.
- Nothing.
I heard what you said.
You're not such a nice young man.
Where are you going? Stay here.
Sit back down.
I'm getting bored of this.
- Me too.
- Sorry?
You chased Dad out and then Maxime, too.
It's all your fault. No man will stay here.
You don't like men. And you don't like me.
Darling...
Leave me alone!
Give me your violin.
Listen, darling.
I know it's tough.
I'm sorry about your dad.
I know you miss him, it's not easy.
- But he was the one who left.
- So it's his fault?
No, it's not all his fault.
It's my fault too.
I'm sorry, darling.
I love you.
I love you.
I'm sorry, I don't have time.
Next week. Thanks.
Nicole, I asked you to give me
an hour in peace.
I thought you'd want to see this.
It just came in.
Who sent this?
I don't know. We got it by e-mail.
They want us to send
20 potential male candidates.
Men! What a world we live in!
- Hello.
- Hello.
All right, Jérémy?
- Hello.
- Hello.
Do you want a male au pair?
That way, please.
Hello.
Hello. Hello, Jérémy.
It won't stick?
Hello.
Hello. Hello.
So, we... OK?
We need to buy irons.
- The ceramic ones are best.
- Yes.
- Hello.
- Was this your surprise?
Yes. It was this.
Very good.
Thanks to you.
I'd never have thought of it.
Thanks to me, you mean.
I'm impressed.
That was the aim.
We'd love you to come for dinner tonight.
Or another evening.
I'd love to come too.
Well, then...
- See you soon.
- Yes.
Let's go.
What are you waiting for?
You just don't get women, bro.
- What?
- Go after her, if you love her.
- Go on. Move it!
- Go on!
You have to tell men everything.
It's lucky we're here to teach them.
Claire!
What are you waiting for?
Subtitles: Eclair Group