Ugly, Dirty and Bad (1976) - full transcript

Four generations of a family live crowded together in a cardboard shantytown shack in the squalor of inner-city Rome. They plan to murder each other with poisoned dinners, arson, etc. The household engages in various forms of sexual idiosyncrasies, land swindles, incest, drugs and adultery.


The door!

The fucking door!

One day of these days I’ll nail it.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- How cold it is this morning!
- The air is colder.

You tried again last night, huh?

Bunch of criminals!

My money is mine!

The eye that the quick lime
blinded was mine.

And the insurance money
is also mine. Get it?

If you don't get it, I’ll
make you understand with my rifle.

Crooks... rammed in the ass.

This is my house,
that I built with my hands.

Brick by brick.

And you live as if it was
a hotel. Free!

Without spending a lira!

Come with your uncle!


Are you crazy?
The blood will go to his head!

- Why are you screaming?
- He's a baby! - Go away!

- For what it costed you...
- Leave me alone.

Gaetano, will you give me the
5 thousand liras or not?

The million is mine
and nobody can touch it.

At least give me 3 thousand.


Give me two thousand. How
am I going to look for work? Walking?

What are you looking for?

You look for work and you pray to
the Virgin that you don't find any.

Mind your own business!

Hey, you, I'm waiting for you!

Wait, wait...
Just a moment!

Hope they kill you...

I’ll throw you
all out of here.

- Here. – Relatives
are like boots.

The tighter they are,
the more they hurt.

Do you want the money?

Throw some quicklime on your
eye if you want the money.

- Make a good cut. Look here.
- Just let me work.

How late it is!
Maria Libera!

If you don't like it, get another.

- Hold the baby.
- Give me five hundred.

Enea, I'm ready. If the Trombetta
comes, tell him to wait.

I'm sure he'll wait for you...

Give me 200...

At least give me a kiss.

Cut it out, will you? Every morning...
My bed is not a ring!

They're waiting for you, hurry!

The scooter indoors!
Could you both become blind!

I'll smash the
scooter with a hammer.

He's here free, without paying
a lira and he's not my son.

He's your son!

- He's not my son.
- Whose son is he then?

You're aking me?
Ask the whore inside you.

- He was born in december, right?
- So?

I'd been in prison for two years.

- And I got out in may. He was
born in december... - So?

- He was born seven months.
- No, he was born son of a bitch.

I'll kick you all out.

You tried to get my money
last night, didn't you?


- I'll stay here!
- No, no, come.

A bullet in the head for all of them.
If not today, then tomorrow.

- Let's go! - All here?
- Romolo - Coming!

Be quiet or you'll wake up
Tommasina! She came home late.

- Too many customers!
- Look at your sister!

- My daughter is without sin.
- And without underwear!

- It's part of her job!
- Like whores!

She's a respected model!

- From behind!
- And from the front!

Where does she strut her stuff?

That's what your sister does!

This week, Tommasina
is in a poster!

The church bulletin?

Let's see...


- But that's not Tommasina!
- Yes it is!

I recognized the tits!

- What magazine is that?
- "Wankboy."

- Cover her up or she'll catch cold!
- Let's go, I'm tired.

Leave that is better!

They're just jealous! Their
sisters aren't so successful!

She'll also star in a movie!

In "Asses high"!

Mom! What time is it?

Poor thing!
They woke you up!

- I'm sleepy.
- Idiots!

What did they want?

- Blind!
- I return your hat!

Let's go, come on!
Let's go to work!

Get on, Mennea.

Romolo, wait for me!

You dirtied me up, idiot!

- What does a little extra black
do to you? - How late. Drop me... the bus stop.


They say that without money
there's no wine.

I should kill them!

Couple of loan sharks!

Here. That's a thousand liras.

They are 500.

- When your grandfather tells you
it's a thousand... - They're 500.

You always contradict me.

Always contradict me!
All of you ! Go!

Bring me the change.

All of you.

All of you.

Good-bye, mom.

- Hello, Tommasina.
- Hello.

I'll walk you to the tram.
I work nearby as a maid.

How beautiful you are, Tommasina!
Of course, you're an artist.

Do you get tired when
they photograph you?

- No, it`s like doing nothing.
- Really?

- And do they pay you well?
- It depends on what you show.

If you show little,
it's 5.000 liras the hour.

- If you show everything, it gets to 20.
- And you show everything!

I do what the director tells me.

That lady gives me 500 liras
an hour, but I don't have to undress.

And what would you show?

I also worked as a maid there.

Remember that it's better
to get naked. Mark my words!

Where are you taking me?

If you say "thank you"
I'll see you to work.

- Thank you.
- Not now, when I say it.

It's useless to get comfortable.
What do you want to do?

- Say thanks and we leave.
- Yes, yes, thank you...

I understood your game, Romolo.

Please, don't make me waste time!

- A quickie...
- At this time of day?

I am a morning type.

- When I get home, I'll tell your brother.
- So he pays up.

- No, no! I said no!
- I'll give you 1.000 liras.

It's not about money. It's getting
late. Some other time we'll do it.

- Though in-laws shouldn't.
- Go fuck yourself.

- There it is. - You have the body and
face of a whore . I don't understand...

...why not.

They tried again last night...

The sons of...

- Assuntina!
- Here I am!

- Assuntina!
- Here I am!

- Bring me another one.
- At once.

- What are you doing?
- Give me a little kiss.

- Leave me! My sister can see us!
- Give me a kiss.

My sister is looking!

What do you care about your sister?

If I catch you...


Marcellina, come here.

- Do you remember?
- I don't remember.

- No?
- Don't touch me.

You don't remember.
Did you forget?

I don't remember anything.

- You remember, you remember.
- I don't remember.

Do you remember you have
to pay half a liter?

- From when?
- From now.

Here, Marcellina.


- How pretty you were.
- Keep still.

How pretty you were!

How pretty!

- Enemies...
- Women...

...come to Cesaretto's.

Soap, bleach, toilet paper, napkins.

Everything for the house.

Toothpaste, deodorant,
detergent. glasses for coffee...

...milk, capuccino.

Brooms, mops, dusters.

Everything you need.

Cloths, toilet paper,

Soap, detergent,
deodorant, talc.

Cesaretto sells everything
by weight and by package.

Credit or cash.

Brooms, brushes. Buckets,
pails. All the colors.

Tubs, demijohns. Unbreakable
plastic, wax...

...insecticides, rat poison.
Hello, Giacinto!

Let's say: "Hello."

Women, come out of the house.
Cesaretto has arrived.

Cesaretto sells everything
cheap, economical...

...always low price.
Women, get pretty!

Shaving cream, blades.
Cesaretto brings you everything.

Towels, long and short stockings.
Extra virgin wool undershirts.

Cotton underpants.
Glues, needles...

...threads in all colors,
ointment for corns,..., cotton, alcohol.

Bowls, buckets and
plastic containers...

...a new course in internal
and external politics.

Government intervention,
a typical example being...

...the vast hydrogeological
arrangement project...

...of the Tennessee valley...

Who came?

Who came!?

Nobody. Who was
supposed to come?

So, nobody, huh?

The USA now move confidently... by Roosevelt's
famous phrase.

"The only thing
we have to fear is..."

"The only... thing..."

"The only thing we have
to fear is fear itself".

Ah, I understood!
Fear! Fear!

And this?

...and so are the fundamentals
of liberty born...

"Freedom of speech..."

- And what's this?
- A toilet brush.

So, you know it, huh?

Who brought it?

- A gift from Cesaretto.
- I'm fed up with Cesaretto!

When I'm not in,
I don't want men in my house!

Of course! The maid comes out and
says: "The lady is not in."

If he gave that to you, you must
have given something in return!

What could I give him
with a boy that studies...

- ...and your mother?
- She is a bigger whore than I.

- What did you give him?
- Leave me! - Tell me!

Leave me alone!
If you move, I'll slice you.

- Grabbed a knife, did you?
- Move!

- I'm so scared.
- Move. - I'm not moving?

Go, Matilde! Kick
him in the balls!

Get his eye, the good one!

This son of an old and crippled whore!

He's killing me!

You were witnesses that
she tried to kill me!

I send you to jail!

Good morning.
I wanted to speak to you.

What did he do?

- He killed me!
- Did he get angry?

Help! Help me!

Enough! Cut it out!

- Don't get angry, these things happen.
- Listen, dad...

There's a great opportunity.

They're selling a salon
for 300,000 liras.

- Nearby, on the road.
- Hurry up, losing blood!

- Murderer!
- Scream! Scream!

Four bad-luck crows.

Only 300 thousand liras,
What do you think?

Do you have the 300,000 liras?

- No, I thought that you ...
- Me? And who are you?

Were we conscripts together?
Are we friends? No.

I'll return it in installments.

No, I won't give you anything. It's enough
that I brought you into this world.

Do I have to help you in your work?

You do well, my son.
Don't give anything at all, "nothing"!

I'm saying it for you.
They'll steal your money.

Nobody loves you.
Starting with your mom.

Do something: don't love me
either that's better.

You won't enjoy that money!

They'll steal it or it will
be spent on medicine!

I don't care. Even if it's
only good for my funeral...

...I won't give any to you or anybody
else. Not to you nor anybody else.

Is it clear?
It is for me.

"Clear." In "English"
you say "clear".

Poor mom!

What did you do to mom?
I'll kill you!

You ruined mom!

Be careful! You could hurt yourself!

Three hundred thousand liras...

I'll give you 300,000
kicks in the ass.

The million is mine.

This is my eye.

They wait that I die... take my house and my money.

- Mom, what happened?
- What happened?

I just got here.

- Good morning.
- good morning.

Look at the object I
brought this morning.

A clock with an angel.

Downtown it would cost you a hundred
thousand liras. Plus the bus.

But you stole it and walked here.

Ok. How much will you give me?

- 50.
- Where is the zero?

It's 5,000 liras or nothing.

It's not fair. You always
do the same. Thieves.

You said "5 thousand."

You owed us 4.
We're even now.

Give me a pack of cigarettes.

Come here!

Don't run away!
Come here!

Come here! Go home! Run!

- Hello, Nando, so early?
- The heel broke.

- I need to change shoes.
- Good-bye. - Good-bye.

Where are you going with that mouse?

As she was picking
flowers to dry...

...others bloomed.

Then the girl did something
nice and very new.

She made a house with all
the flowers in her garden.

Enough, Romolo!
Plinio, is that you? Domizio?

- I'm Nando.
- Ah, good, fortunately.

But that charm lasted only a while.

- Nando, what are you doing?
- Guess.

I already guessed. Stop it.

Each house has its history.

Stay still!

For me, the wind has no home.

One day it's here, the next there.

What is this?
A rat...

I don't understand. You dress
like a woman and behave like a man.

What do you want to do?

Nando, did you change your sex?

Stop it.
This makes me laugh.

- Oh, it was you. Why don't you
just die? - What do you want?

- Homo, trannie, faggot...
- Shut up!

Go get fucked in the ass!

- Bye, mom!
- Faggot!

I should speak with
the police officer.

He knows me.

I tell him everything,
he gets arrested...

...and spends the rest
of his life in jail.

- Hi, hi.
- What did they do to you?

Here is the great working man.

They never forget the address.

- Hello, Tommasina.
- Hello.

- Hello, child. - Hello mom.
- What a family!

- Angiolina, how are you?
- What a car! He looks serious...

- ...who is he?
- Gastone.

What do you want?

Where are you taking me?


You did something bad.

Me? What are you saying?
What was bad?

I saw you while you
were washing your hair.

And what happened while I
was washing my hair?

You had a "service"
with my faggot son Nando.

Me? You're crazy.

Don't deny it. I saw you
with this eye, bitch in heat.

- I didn't notice anything.
- Oh, yeah?

And I imagined everything.
You're shameless!

You're hurting me!

Aren't you ashamed of doing it
with your husband's brother?

And under the same roof!

And if that cuckold husband
of yours found out?

What would he say?
What would he say if he found out?

I am innocent. What could I do?
I had to resist the violence.

Be quiet, they'll hear you!

You should pay more attention.

I'm talking for your own good.
Like a father to a daughter.

With all this material... provoke all the males.

One sees you around the house
like this and gets excited.

The heat settles in and what
should not happen, happens.

- What are you doing? I don't understand.

- I won't tell your husband for
the sake of peace in the house.

But just let me do it.
If you accept, daddy won't speak.

You're the understanding
type, aren't you?

- You are very pretty.
- Not that way! - Why not?

You push me?
Wait. Wait.

Why they made you so beautiful?


So pretty...

Hold your hands!

If you don't want to be touched,
stay in your house.

Nobody touches me there.

Lisetta, give the sick
folks something to eat.

How are you?

What happened? Why are you crying?

- I had a dream. - Was the
dream bad enough to cry?

It wasn't a bad dream.
I dreamt I made love.

Now I got desire of it...

Aren't you ashamed at your age?

People think that when you're old desire
wanes. On the contrary, it increases.

Lisetta, would you do me a favor?

Don't start! I work here,
I don't do dirty things.

I beg you. Just a hand job,
is that too much?

Get it out of your head and eat!

Nobody... nobody loves me...

Lisetta, I ask it of
you like a daughter.

All right.

But it's the last time.

I'm tired of this.
You got hands too.

It's not fair that for
forty thousand a month...

- Lisetta, they're looking for you in the kitchen!
- I am busy with Diomede.

I'll take care of Diomede.


Mrs., could you show me
this street? I'm not Roman.

Wait, idiots!


A hundred liras!

Only a hundred liras!



A hundred liras!

Only a hundred liras!
Give me a hundred liras?

A hundred liras!

A chicken salesman...

His cousin interdicted his father.

Is he locked up now?

Now he's in his house, but he
lost his parental rights.

My father doesn't care about parental
rights. He has a rifle.

We have to get him locked up.
We're fed up with him.

But wasn't he in Santa Maria
della Pietá?

Sure. 3 years!

But in the madhouse he raped a
nun and got sent to Regina Coeli prison.

Look how a millionaire's
daughter has to work!

Giacinto, do you want
to play with us?

He's the only one you can beat.
He's drunk.

"Appliancize" yourself...

The world in colors...
at your house...




All your dreams...

Your dreams...








...and you'll be happy.

My million...

My million!

Where did they put it?

- Get him out!
- What's going on?

Give me the money or I'll kill you!

I'll cut their throats!

Thieves! Criminals!
My million!

Give me the money, cuckhold,
or I'll turn you in!

This time it'll be life in prison for you!
Where did they put it?

You grabbed it! Disgusting faggot!

What do you want?
Leave me alone!

Do you want the golden dress?
What an idiot I am!

- He'll break everything!
- This is my house!

- All of them want my money!
- You busted our balls!

The kitchen, the foam,
the orthopedic leg...

Give the money or I'll break
the good leg! Where is it?

- Here inside?
- Mom!

If it doesn't turn up,
I'll break the house.

Dad, you're drunk!

- Taking advantage of a sleeping father!
- Shut up!

- What is he saying?
- I want the money!

Nobody took it!

What the f... do you want?

- Do you want to wear a tuxedo in front
of the orchestra, eh? - What?

You'd like that, wouldn't you? To have
a nice performance...with my money.

If I don't get my money back, there'll
be a massacre. I'm fed up!

- Mom!
- Enough now!

Don't try it.

Come on, all together!

My God!
He's got the gun!

Dad, don't do this!

He's got the rifle!
He's breaking my tv set!


Mazzatella, Giacinto!


- To the deputy's?
- To the chief's.

March 8:...

Kidnapping of a minor
with sexual intentions.

April 20:...

Intoxication and bodily
harm to the spouse.


- When you knifed your wife!
- Ah, the knife, yes...

- But she's ok now.
- Today: threats...

...injuries, carrying a gun and
homicide attempt against your son.

A son that is more
with me than my wife.

Tell him, Cerione.
I see him more than my wife.

- It's true. - It's him that calls me,
I don't... - Giacinto!

What you see here is your file.

There is another one for your wife.

And one for each
of your children.

We have a whole room
just for you!

- Giacinto!
- Yes, yes, sir.

- Can't live this way.
- Yes, nowadays... - You have to choose.

- Yes, sir.
- Either you quit this...

Yes....or... listen to me.

Kill all your family off, and I get rid
once for all of victims and assassin!

I have extenuating circumstances.
They stole me money.

If the judge gave me
10 years I'd be happy.

Good for you.
What do I care?

I'll tell you only this:...

If I see you around here again,
either as accused or accusing,...

- ...I'll send you to prison
for five years! - Yes, sir.

And now leave.
Get lost.

- Since I am here, can I
make an accusation? - No!

I hereby want to denounce my family
of aggravated robbery.

Why aggravated?

Because the money was mine.

But fortunately,
I dreamt that they stole it!

I got up, I went to the bathroom,
where it was hidden and...

How stupid of me!
The money was in the bathroom!

Behind a brick in the kitchen,
it was the time before...

Can you take me with the jeep?
I'm in a hurry.

No! I've arrived by car
and to leave I walk...

We're from the RAI network.
Are you moving?

Can't you see?

Do you want to say something
for our report on the slums?

- Are we spies?
- Now we'll tell you a fable.

Hey, the cable!

- You look also.
- Gaetano is on TV.

Come on, come with me.

Come, come.
They want to interview us.

There's nothing here.

Nor here.

Where the hell did that
bastard put the money?

Feeble idiot! He doesn't remember
where he put it and he shoots me.

Did you check thee loo yet ?

I searched it.
I already told you!

- Did you search well?
- Yes, I searched well.

With all that commotion, the
money has to be here.


- Did you find something?
- Yes! - Look where it was.

- It's a rat.
- A rat!

Hey, you! Excuse me!
A word for the RAI...

- Go fuck yourself.
- He's free!

- What are you doing?
- Cleaning, can't you see?

You didn't even clean
the house for Easter...

...what is it now with this frenzy?

- Are you sure there wasn't
anything? - Yes, sure.

- But what's he doing in the bathroom?
- What everyone does!

- The money was in the bathroom.
- He says he looked in it.

You were cleaning, right?

Go on. The bathroom
wasn't cleaned.

- Good God! - It's nice
to have a clean family.

You watch out for dad.
Next time I won't miss.

- Looked well, did you?
- One eye! - Take this!

Go on cleaning,
I'll go have something to drink!

My throat dried up!

I haven't been drinking for 2 days.
I feel like I became...

...a teetotaler.

A letter!
The postman gave it to me!

- A postman ? Is it for us?
- Give it to me, I'll read it!

- What are you reading if you don't know how to read?
- Why, do you know how to read?

- Give it to me, I'll read it.
- You read it.

Grandmother's pension!

Wake up, grandma,
we're going for a walk!

Come on, clear the way!

We're rich!
We're rich!

No! I don't want to go to the nursing home!
Leave me alone! Leave me!

- Come on, just put an X.
- I don't want to go!

- Sign! - I don't want to
go to the nursing home! I don't!

- The document...
- Miss.... no attention. She does
the same thing every month.

She thinks we're taking
her to the nursing home.

Could you make it all
in one thousand lira notes?

- Shut up!
- I don't want to go!

One... two... three...four...
five... six... seven.

Here you are Madam, your pension.
It's 37,000 liras.

Whore! You're going
to the nursing home!

Here, have a lollipop.
It'll help you feel better.

One, two, three, four five.

One, two, three,
four and five. Go away!

- 3, 4, 5.
- Don't you steal.

-1, 2, 3, 4, 5.
- And the freebie? - A thousand freebie liras.

A thousand liras? You're crazy!
That's stealing!

You are worse than your father!

Come here.
Push this way.

See grandma home.

You still haven't
told me your name.


They say it's an old name.

Mine is also old:

My grandfather was
also named this way.

The bread.

The olives.

The baked meat and the celery...

...are like the male and the female:
they're fine together.

It's a different thing to
stick a celery in the meat.

In my house they don't understand me.

Nobody loves me.

I am alone.
Alone like a dog.

Why "alone?"

Didn't you tell me you had
a wife, a dozen children...

...lots of relatives and grandchildren?

They're not kindred.
They're my enemies.

From today on, I only have you.
Just the two of us, Iside.

And nobody else.

Here are the cod fillets.


...another liter for us
and one for these misers.

- Here. - Ok.
- And take some cod fillets to them.

If they like it,
toast Mr. Giacinto... my health and
to my lady Iside.

You all have to learn about
the Giacinto splendor.

Believe this fool:

Kick your wife in the
ass and get a whore.

Right, love?

Be careful, here's a little bridge,
that always steals you a shoe.

No, no. This way.
This way.

Sure they won't mind?

Who owns my house? I am!
And I invite whoever I want.

But a stranger at
one in the morning...

- I'm falling.
- It migh look indelicate!

You're not a stranger.

You're my friend.
And I am the house owner.

I don't want to get
insulted by your wife.

What's your wife like?

She's understanding.

You only have to hit her.

Everything in order.


Look who I brought.

- I'll introduce you to...
- Who's this?

- I introduce you to Miss Iside.
- My pleasure.

- What does this whore want?
- I knew it.

From today on, Iside lives
with me and sleeps with us.

The bed is large...
we'll snug...make yourself comfortable.

Drunkard, what are you saying?
I don't know her!

I already told you that she's Iside.

- And so she sleeps with us?
- Yes, on my side.

Don't you like her?
She's clean.

You can stay with us.
Where are you going?

To wake everybody up
and have them beat you up.

- Camillo, Romolo, Domizio!
Wake up! - What do you want?

Your father brought
a whore to the house.

Thanks, but no thanks.
I want to sleep.

- Excuse me...
- Of course.

- Sit down here.
- If you don't mind.

- Hear me and follow the logic.
- I'll toss her out!

And I'll toss you out!
We've been together 30 years,

- Why can't she be here also?
- I'm your wife!

What about feelings?
The man is man!

What man are you talking about!
You can't cut it any longer!

With you!
Ask her!

Ask her about what we did
under the billboard.

- I was on fire!
A young man! - Young man!

- Who are you?
- Iside.

- What are you doing here?
- I'm a guest. - Whose?


- ...his wife doesn't like me.
- Why? I like you. you want me to
become a widower.

Say it, I'll oblige immediately.

The rifle!

Two bullets in the face...

Come here.

- I don't think it's right.
- They'll be busy for awhile.

- Help!
- She's asking for help!

That rifle, always that rifle!

Worry about your own wife.
I bring whoever I want to my house!

Be quick, otherwise...

... the lady's right in
saying I'm a whore.

Nope! Nope! Again!

One... two... three...

A point for us
and half for you

- She's got the 7 of spades.
- Give me all the cards you got.

Bravo! We'll see each
other tomorrow night.

Don't drink it all...

It's at the start...
At the start!

When it's in do-sol-mi-re-re.
"mi-re-re" is the point.

If it wasn't for me, this
would be chaos. We'll be...

...singing at the
"Piggy Festival".

- Did you ask your father for money
for the trip? - Yes, I asked him.

- And what did he say?
- Can't you guess?

Adolfo, aren't you coming to bed?

Coming, coming.
I'm kissing my mom goodnight.

Who are you?

Sleep. I'm family.
Sleep, pretty one, sleep.

Run, Osvaldo, they're
arresting Norma's son!

Let's go, Giovanni!
Walk and don't resist!

It's worse if you resist!

Why do you want
to take me to jail?

What did I do?

I was home!

- Is he innocent?
- Innocent my ass. Lucky you.

I want to get up early today.

We're going to do
a little shopping.

Me and Miss Iside.

Do you want a new dress, baby?

- Do you also want shoes?
- No, thank you.

- I don't need anything.
- Don't be formal!

I'll buy you everything.

I'll buy you everything you want.

Today I want to eat...
What am I in the mood for?

Spaghetti, garlic and oil, huh?

Or do you prefer them with
butter and anchovies?

- It's all the same to me...
- There are offals today.

That's for you to eat.

For us, a nice
piece of meat.

From a young steer... tasty... white.

For dinner, nothing. We'll go
to the restaurant. The two of us.

I could stay to help...

We don't need anything from anybody.

Do you want to play the servant?
That's their role.

Look how many they are.

Only a scientist could
count them all.

There are more relatives
than rats here.

They look like rats.
Look at that one, look.

Look at those and tell me
if I'm talking bullshit.

They all eat for free.
At my expense.

Without spending a lira.
Free... More than free.

Matilde, the wine!

Where did she go?
Got offended, eh?

Hold this for me?

Yes, yes.
Making yourself up, baby?

What a shame!
What a dishonor!

From today we'll be the talk
of Monteciocci rat's hamlet!

- Aunt Matilde, tell me where you want
me to prick him. - I don't know.

- What do you think?
- It's up to you.

If I prick him here,
he'll become a crippple.

If I prick him in the balls,
he'll have bad luck.

If I prick him in the mouth,
his teeth will fall.

What do I care if
his teeth fall!

And I care less! You were the one
that requested the spell.

If you prick him here,
in the heart, what would happen?

- Then you want a complete service?
- Yes!

Two o'clock is time for lunch!

- Romolo, will you give me a lift?
- No, the bus is better.

It's late! Come on, let's go!

Where are you going? Get in!
Nobody leaves the house today!

Maria, round the kids up
and take them outside!

Come on, Vittoriano, Pamela,
Mirco, Samanta, Gianluca...

- Let's go! - You, get up,
we have to speak!

- I'm not getting out of bed!
- Come on! You too!

Where are you going? Don't go!
This will come to no good...

We should decide all together.

- Decide what, mom?
- To get him out of the way.

- That's nice... but how?
- We'll denounce him.

Commit him into a mental institution.

We interdict him and take
away his parental rights.

We commit him.

We kill him.

No! No!

They want to kill my
son Giacinto!

My son! When do you
want to kill him?

- Before that whore leaves him penniless.
- Do it immediately then!

He bought her everything,
why don't we kill her?

He'll find another one at once.

I spoke with the director.

He told me that he would have
him commited at the hospice.

Right, like the last time.
Come on! Last night...

...he didn't offend just me,
but all of you.

- What kind of men are you?
- Mom is right!

It's a question of honor!
He denied me the money to... up my own salon!

That scumbag didn't let me
start my polyphonic choir.

- And he was disrespectful.
- Why, what did he do to you?

He swore at me.
He's always swearing...

- It's not that bad.
- He never gave me any trouble.

I he had, I would have
slaughtered him.

If the majority wants to
kill him, I'm democratic.

The majority is not enough!
It must be unanimous.

- We're risking prison here.
- But if we all agree...

I don't care.
Do what you want.

No, no, no!
I don't agree!

You're only happy when
you deny me a favor.

After all I've done for
you. Ingrate... whore...

You fuck everyone and
I raise the kids.

Listen to this: from today on,
you raise them, the two of them.

I'm getting married!
I'm getting married in October!

- Who can believe you?
- Sure! Like he did... you pregnant and then
married your sister.

- See?
- Enough! Always the same story.

- We don't care.
- Do we all agree?

- Yes, let's get it over with, I
have to go to work. - Come here!

We also have to ask Paride,
he's your son too.

We'll ask him too.

- Ok, fine. I'm going to sleep.
- Wait!

We should establish the "how"...

...and the "when".


Did he fall asleep?

Yes, but the sun shines on his face.
When will they get here?

I don't know.
They must be lost.

There they are!

Couldn't you find a
church that was closer?

- I work here.
- "Work."

Help us.
Ein, zwei, drei!

Do you renounce sin to live
with the children of God?

- Say I "Renounce".
- Renounce?

Do you renounce the
temptation of evil...

- as not to let sin
dominate you? - I renounce.

- I renounce.
- Do you renounce...

...Satan, root and cause
of all sin?

I renounce.
Yes, yes, I renounce.

Do you believe in God, creator
of the heavens and earth?

Do you want to receive baptism under
the Church principles...

...that we all profess?

- Say: "Yes, I do".
- Say-yes-I-do.

- Giacinto. - Yes. - I baptize you
in the name of the Father...

- ...the Son and the
Holy Spirit. Amen. - Amen.

Do I renounce... ?

He treats her like
one of the family.

That dress she's wearing costs
more than 20 thousand liras.

So, Paride, what do you tell you mamy?

What do I say?
She looks sexier than you.

Sure, and you're a worse
womanizer than your father!

Do you agree?
I'm warning you: it's already decided.

We'll kill him at the baptism
lunch in your house.

You can guess the
cook by the scent.

Bravo! Bravo!

Come here.

Come on, kiss each other.
A kiss.

The peace kiss.
Come on!

Granma wants them "al dente"
(to the tooth)

Ah, pecorino...
it's pinchier...

- Eat, it'll get cold.
- Ah, yes. Let's eat.

Wait for Massimiliano
to recite the poem.


He's finished!

Let's eat or the food
will get cold.

Let's eat...

See how nice it is to
get on very well together?


Cesaretto! For you too.

Let's shake hands, without bitterness.

- Giacinto, you are a gentleman.
- My plate!

- Be careful!
- Excuse me. He pulled me.

- Do you want to eat with
grandfather? Here! - No!

His stomach is giving him trouble.
He has stomach problems.

Stomach troubles and you give him
semolina? Cure him with macaroni!

- How are the rats doing,
Matilde? - Eat!

- Did my poison work?
- Yes, but eat and be quiet!

Cesaretto, do you ever
mind your business?

What's the matter?
Don't you like them?

- No, it's not that...
- So?

There's a strange flavor...

- They're tasty.
- Of course they're tasty.

They're well made... but...

What did you put in them?

You know what I put in!
Pasta, eggplants, tomatoes...

...grated bread, nuts, pecorino cheese...

And rat poison.
Four envelopes.

But only in your plate.

Aren't you cold?

It's like a wind gust.

Like a wet blanket...

...that brushes your back.
It's death.


Stop him!
He'll turn us in!

- And who cares?
- It's impossible, I put in a half kilo.

What did you do to him?

Do you want to come in?

Come in, but I don't think
it'll be good for you.

Death to the traitors!

You should die like rats,
with something else than poison.

Did you want my house?

Take it!
With central heating!

Fire! Fire!

Help! Help!
Fire! Help!

Get out! Flee!

Where are you going now? To the Grand Hotel?
Do you have reservations?

"Colonel I don't want water..."

"...I want the destructive fire
that the thirst of this heart..."

"...with wine I'll quench..."
- That's dad!

He's not dead then!

Can't be dead if he's singing.

He's the one who lit the fire.

You're not gonna hit me...

- Let's put out the fire.
- Let's get some water.

Didn't hurt me!

Didn't hurt me!

Whoever calls the firemen,
is a cuckold!

And this is not over!

- Help! Grandmother!
- Nando, grandmother!

- Here comes Nando!
- Is that grandma?

- I'll save grandma.
- Come on, Domizio!

- Go, or else we'll lose the pension!
- Hold on, grandma!

- There she is!
- She's burnt her hair!

- Grandma, you're always last!
- That burns! - Did you shit on yourself?

There they are.

They all survived.
Mennea the cripple, the hag...

The shameless one...
Let them all die!

I don't see my wife.
Maybe the Virgin heard me?

And who's there?

The cuckold and the fag,
always in position.

They're all still in
my house. There's my wife!

Who can kill that one?

Yes, go on putting it out.

There's another fuse
under your asses.

The strong one's there too.
They all survived.

They want to take over my house!

Delinquent criminals!
To kill a father...

After all the sacrifices
I made for them.

Like fucking that monster of
a woman so they would be born.

She's better now.
Lost some of her beard.

They're not evil.
Just unsociable.

what are you doing?

- Darling... - For your own good.
- Darling, darling.

Don't do complicated things
it's dangerous at your age.

It's better to die with you
than with rat poison.

The spaghetti without poison was
delicious. "Al dente"!

Too bad you couldn't enjoy them!

They ruined everything.

But now I'll slaughter
them! Today!

And we'll have "la dolce vita!"

I'll cater to all your whims!

I will take you to Trastevere
to eat watermelon.

To Via Veneto, by night,
to have some ice cream.

- And if you want, we'll go by car.
- What car?

- Come down, Giacinto, three men
are waiting for you! - Coming!

- What do they want? - It's an important
business. I'll explain later.

Watch the binoculars.
Break them and pay for them.

Marcela, a liter and four glasses!

- My word is not enough?
- No. - No.


- Here.
- Ah, here?

Name and last name.
Where's the money?

10... 20... 30...

Who are you?
What do you want?

Are you still here? You have
to leave. The house is ours.

- Really? Since when?

Since we bought it.
Here's the document.

What document?

The sale of the house
and land, in cash...

- Let me see it.

Who signed this document?

The legitimate owner
of the house.

- Don't you know how to read?
- Where is it written?

In that paper...

- And where is the paper?
- I just gave it to you. - To me?

- Did you see a paper?
- What paper? - What does it say?

- Leave, I'm already fed up with you!
- Leave! - The "paper!"

I gave it to you right now.

If you prefer the legal road,
give me back the paper, if you want...

- Get out.
- "Legal road!"

I don't let anyone make a fool
out of me, not even for free...

...just imagine what I'll
do for 800,000 liras.

You're crazy!
800,000 liras!

Nando, they want to
take over the house!

Why is it going backwards?

Do you know how to drive?

I drove a horse carriage.
It's the same thing.

It's starting.
No, it's going backwards.

Not the women!

- Don't touch the women!
- Go fuck yourself!

Hit him! Hit him!
Hit him hard!

- Are you on our side?
- No, no, I'm a Roman.

Kill all those yokels!

- Watch how royalty travels!
- Where are you going? - It won't stop!

My house!

My house!

It' useless to hold it!
It's falling!

Now it's nobody's house!

Everyone on the streets!
Everyone outdoors!

I got hurt but I'm happy.

Yes, push is so it
falls to the other side!

It's six months already.
When will they remove the plaster?

Never. I have the money
stashed inside the plaster.

They'll never find it!

One day I will throw them all out.
All of them.

Children, grandchildren, relatives
and boor tenants.

If not today, then tomorrow.