Tyler Perry's Acrimony (2018) - full transcript

Stop being such pussies.
Just grab the rope.

No, no way.
I don't want to lose my badge.

If we get caught,
Bade Papa's gonna kill me.

Avni, it's the last day of school.

From tomorrow,
you're not gonna be so important.

Come on!

God save us!

One.

Two.

Three!

Run... Run...



Get back to your class.

The lecture has not ended yet.
Come on, get back.

Come on, return to your class.

No! I love you more.

Tchhee!
I can't wear this to the party.

No, I love you more.

No, you hang up.

Sakshi! What the ***!

Enough man.

As it is... You're
following Arjun to Pune.

How about spending
some time with us, uh?

Simbi is one of the top
five law colleges.

Huh?
We just got done with finals.

Why are we already
talking about college?



What's the rush?

Lets just go to
Prague for a year or two.

Dad just bought a villa there.

Wow! Prague!

Sounds so exotic.

Take me with you.
Show me some hot white guys.

Bade Papa has already lined up some
hillbillies for me to marry.

Like really long beards,
hair coming out of their ears.

Oh God!

What century does
Bade Papa live in?

Job, career,
nothing is important to him?

A girl just needs to finish school
and get her married.

I seriously have no
interest in getting married.

I just refuse to.

Congratulations, my Veerus.
- Hello Aunty.

It's Veere, Ma.
Veere, like bros.

Whatever.

You guys did it!

School's finally over!

Hey!
- What's up, girls?

Hello, Uncle.

Hi, Uncle.

There you go.

Exams are over.

Smile, please.

We're going to the club.

And we won't return soon.

Don't do anything I would.

Okay, girls. Cheers!

Guys look, champaign.

You're the crazy one!
You're bloody mad!

Kishan, how does it matter?
We eat in the club every day.

Absolutely not.

Fine then, GO!

And don't bother coming back!

If I could,
I would never come back!

Selfish! Bloody selfish!

Sushh! The girls are here.

This house doesn't belong
to your father.

Just look at him, Cookie.

This is the same guy
who used to come all the way

from Civil Lines to
GK just to say good night.

The girl I used to
come for wasn't MAD.

Marrying you was the
biggest mistake of my life.

This Marriage business is just a
*** hustle.

Guys, please.

This woman has destroyed my life,

'Parents always hide their
mistakes from their kids.'

You want destruction... I'll show.

Ritu.

'Well, at least we try.'

'We fear they might make
the same mistakes we did.'

'And so, we don't even let them
make their own mistakes.'

'By now, my daughter already knows
that life isn't a Fairytale.'

'But it's very important to Dream.'

'I think one should make
mistakes in life.'

'And one should
learn from them as well.'

'Pay for one's own mistakes
and not for someone else's.'

Listen guys, I won't be coming back
home with you guys after the party.

Why?

Actually...

Arjun's parents are in Shimla.

So we... we were thinking...

Shut up!
- Are you serious?

I mean I love him.

And... he's the one.

Oh my my! No wonder!

Looks like she's getting
married before me.

Hope you're carrying protection?

- Arjun!
- Shut up!

Arjun!

Meera give it back!

Till you don't learn
from your mistakes,

'how will you write
your own story?'

Here's to "Live life
on your own terms".

To Prague.
Here I come.

To Bade Papa.
I'm not coming.

To Pune.

Arjun, I'm coming.

I'm coming...

To Pune.

To us, Bros.

I love you guys.

'The biggest mistake of my life...'

'I died before I could say
all this to my daughter, Kalindi.'

"My heart, is a balloon in flight."

"Soaring high in the sky."

"My heart, is a balloon in flight."

"Soaring high in the sky."

"Invited trouble,
wicked and unholy."

"Got trapped ever so slowly."

"Was single, ready to mingle."

"Now have to enter
into holy matrimony."

"Unsteady, untrustworthy..."

"Unsteady, untrustworthy..."

"Unsteady, untrustworthy..."

Come on Rishabh, lets go back
it's my favorite song.

Kaloo, we need to talk.

Listen, I've been thinking
about this.

Like constantly.

We've been
together for three years now.

Right?

And we're very different people.

I mean... we are poles apart...

And... but...

So Kaloo...

Are you breaking up with me?
- Will you marry me?

What?
- Huh?

Wait... let me do this again.
I lost my momentum.

Yes.

Kalindi Puri will you marry me?

Baby, I'll be right back.
- Huh?

But...

***!

Calm down.

Calm down. Calm down. Calm down.

No, no, not for you, she's inside.
- Cute.

Enjoy the concert.

I'll just...

Calm down, calm down!

Rishabh, I can't marry you.

I mean not you in particular.

I can't marry anyone.

Kaloo...

Stop talking to yourself
like a crazy person.

And don't scratch yourself.

At least come out.

Rishabh, why?

Everything is so perfect.

Why are you doing this?

Wow!

Because I love you?

And... I want to spend the
rest of my life with you.

Isn't that reason enough?

Of course.

I also love you.

But why do we need to get married?

We're already living together.

But for how long Kaloo?

The Indian in me
wants to marry you.

Okay... You know what?

Forget it.

Rishabh,
you actually want to do this?

I mean like really?
- Yes.

Rishabh, everything changes
once you get married... trust me.

Maybe... but I love you.

And that will never change.

Okay.

Okay?

Is that a yes?

Yes.

I'm still scared.

We'll manage!

Your Honor,
how can she demand maintenance?

The facts remain that
she has emptied the entire locker.

And hasn't worked
a day in her life.

Say something.

And apart from creating drama,
she hasn't done much with her life.

She's getting what she deserves.
Zero.

She doesn't deserve a single penny.

"Unsteady, untrustworthy..."

Bloody ***!

I told you,
my office is under renovation.

Please send the
cheque to my house.

Idiot.
- Here.

What's going on with you?

And do you need
to wear these pants?

You look like a lesbo.

I have to mom,
it's the lesbian dress code.

Starting tomorrow,
I'll go to Court in a bikini.

Maybe I'll find a boy then?

Look at this one,
his name is Manish.

Here.

He's an engineer. American degree.

Annual package 2 million.
Have a look.

Okay, you old woman.
Okay.

You were always
first in everything.

Then why are you
behind in this matter?

No.. No..

But sweetheart,
it's a child restrainer.

No! Meera, absolutely not.

I'm not letting you
put our son on a leash.

I'm the one who has
to chase him all day.

Bloody nuisance.

Eating... nuisance...
sleeping... nuisance.

I would've slapped
him if we didn't live in America.

Hey babe.

Kabir's day care
is doing family trees next week.

Oh okay, that's nice.

So, we need pictures
of your family.

Come on.
- No.

Get lost.

Baby, please?

They're your family.

At least talk to them.

You're stubborn.

What? I'm stubborn?

They are stubborn.

Look John,
if they can't accept you

then I'm not interested
in talking to them.

End of discussion.
- Come on Meera.

What a surprise!
How are you doing?

He doesn't need restraining.

Just needs you
to stop spoiling him.

What have I done now?

Well, for starters, he's two
and he's still sleeping with us.

It's not normal.

I refuse to let my child sleep
alone in a room like you Americans.

Alright? Right, baby? Right?

"Was single, ready to mingle."

"Now have to enter
into holy matrimony."

"Unsteady, untrustworthy..."

"Unsteady, untrustworthy..."

Hello, Sakshi...

You've been back at your
parents' for quite a while now uh?

Hi, Kunkun Aunty. Hello, Aunty.

Morning, Aunty.

Expecting?
- Nope.

So when are you and Vineet
coming over?

Actually Aunty, he hasn't come.

What?

Is he still in London?
- Yes.

How does he manage alone?
- Just fine.

When is he coming to get you?
- Soon.

Your dress is very nice.
- Umm...

Where are you coming from?

From a meeting. Okay, bye.

Okay, meeting!
- Meeting!

Hi, Vineet!

Hello, Papa?

Good evening.

Or in your case good morning?

Where is Sakshi?
- Sakshi?

Why isn't she answering my phone?

Sakshi is sleeping.
- Vineet.

I've been trying to contact her
since two days,

but haven't been successful.

There, she's up.
- Okay.

Yes, Vineet?
- Sakshi.

Yes.

Why aren't you taking my calls?

You bloody ***!

How dare you call my father!

Listen I have a half
a mind of telling everyone...

what kinda girl you are

and what you spend
the whole day doing!

Who do you think you are?
I'm not even scared of my father...

You piece of ***!

Do what you want.

You bloody...
- Sakshi.

I'm sure she must be exhausted...

with all the work she does.
- Yes.

But Kavita, you don't need
to worry anymore...

she won't need
to work a job after marriage.

Our Manish is very well settled.

Excuse me. Tea...

Aaa... the cat.

Go with her.

Shanti!

I am tired of seeing your
black and blue face every morning.

Stop crying now.

You know, I was gonna be a doctor.

I would've ended up
tending to you every day.

Be grateful, I became a lawyer.
Today you're divorced.

And before that,
I am going to file an FIR.

No, ma'am.

Hi Mahesh.
- Manish.

Hi Manish.

Can I help?

Yeah, sure.

You can take this out.
Thank you.

One second.

But what about us getting married?

That's not happening.

Oh, my God!

What!

Kaloo is getting married!

Kaloo is getting married!

That flake ball... ***.

I want to hear
every... like every detail.

I want it right now.
Tell me right now.

Kaloo is getting married!
- Mad girl.

Kaloo is getting married.

Oh no!

How am I gonna break
this news to mom?

Sakshi, get on Skype.

Sakshi Soni, it's 4:00pm!
Are you still sleeping?

Congratulations!

Our friend is getting married!

How are you, Mother Dairy?

I've started packing.

Here, I'm packing John's
meals for next ten days.

Congratulations!

I just can't believe it.

How did she agree to this?
- Seriously, man.

Chances of her getting married
in this lifetime were so bleak.

I'm so happy!

I'm so happy for Kalindi.

No, you're not.

Is it that obvious?

Mom is acting like a druggie, after
I told her about Kaloo's wedding.

She is popping calmpose tablets
like they are M&Ms.

"I hope my poor daughter
doesn't die single."

Be happy... at least you're single.
Think about me.

I'll be the only maligned
divorcee at the wedding. - Hey!

Aunties have already
started ***, by the way.

Why is she getting married so soon?

Rishabh just proposed to her.

That idiot didn't even give
time to lose weight.

Nothing's gonna fit.

Looking quite healthy,
Mother Dairy.

Pop a kid and then we'll talk?
- Are you nuts?

It's Sakshi Soni
we're talking about.

She'll get bored in no time and
then you'll have to raise the kid.

No, thank you very much.
One is more than enough.

Kaloo is landing today, right?

Are you guys going to
the airport to pick her up?

Her "in-laws" are.

Shut up!

She said she's going to wrap up all
the family stuff and then meet us.

Guys just hold on...
I'll be there in no time.

We can all meet her together.

Oh god! Bye.

Where are they?
- Look they are here.

Look they are here.
- Come on.

Shishu!

Ok... ok... let's meet him.

There he is.
- Hello, welcome.

Oh, my baby!
- God bless you.

How are you, Shishu?

Lets start the rituals.

Kalindi!

Priest, you go there.
- Welcome, my child.

Priest!

Bless you.
- That's enough.

Here you go.

Sarita...

How are you, Kalindi?

Come here, dear.

No, thank you, Aunty.
- It's okay.

She's so beautiful.

Good catch.
- Papa...

Why are you feeling shy?

No more calling her aunty...

Call her mummy now.
- Ignore Santosh Aunty.

Call me whatever you feel like
I don't force anyone.

This is right.

Your mother is just too much.

I'll go handle her.

Enough Sarita.

You don't have to perform
all the rituals today.

You want her to return
from the airport itself?

Come dear, we'll drop you home.

No, my car is here.

Then we'll escort you to your car.
Come, come, come.

Here comes the bride!

Uncle!
- Welcome, Mrs. Malhotra!

Welcome, my child.

What's with this loud
"West Delhi" jewelry?

Mother-in-law.
- At the airport?

Ya, can you believe it?
- Fantastic.

Listen, you should just
get married at our house?

Rishabh was saying that
they have a farmhouse.

And we can just have all
the functions there.

So I've already short-listed
15-20 card designs.

But we'll take you to Chawri Bazaar
tomorrow anyway.

Oh, this is gonna be so much fun.

Not tomorrow.
I'm meeting dad.

At the club.

For lunch.

Do you guys speak often?

Hmmm... Yeah, I mean on birthdays,
festivals,

special occasions.

I saw him in court last month...

With that tacky CR Park slut.

Cookie!
- Sorry...

Lady of the night.

Kishan and I are so disappointed
that you aren't staying with us.

You should've stayed
with us this time.

Comfortable?

Next time, Paromita.
- Let it be, dear.

She's obviously more comfortable
at her uncle's place.

Okay let me know, if there's
any thing I can do for the wedding.

And I also wanted
you to know that...

We're there for you.

This is Mrs. Puri.

Yes.

Hi! How are you? It's been so long!

So he's a corporate lawyer.
Lives in GK.

This one?

I'm meeting a prospective groom.

Not charging by the hour.

Show me something knee-length.

Lives in GK.
He likes reading, traveling, music.

I think Nirmal is completely...
- Nirmal?

You're gonna have sex
with someone called Nirmal?

Sakshi, I just can't talk to you.

Like Vineet is a very cool name!

No chance! 126 days, not a drag.

By the way, your market
value has really dropped...

after banging your boss.

That's disgusting, Sakshi.
Language.

And I wasn't "banging" him.

We were in a relationship.

Er... Avni, he was married.

With kids.
- I didn't know that.

He's the one who was married.
He's the one who had kids.

But I got branded as
the whore of Tees Hazari!

*** double standards!

Why do I end up
with all the freaks?

So you thought... this time
I'll just let Mummy decide!?

So?
What's wrong with that?

I don't know about you,
but I don't want to be alone.

I want everything.

Marriage, kids, I want it.

I want it all.

Hello, hello, give it to me baby!

Sakshi! Put it back!
- You are a complete package.

Saint on the outside...
slut on the inside.

That horny boss of yours must
have loved you.

Eh... Nirmal?

Avni! Hi.

Nice to meet you.
- So nice to meet you.

Yeah.

Yeah that's...
But let's talk about you.

So you are lawyer at Tees Hazari?
That's really good.

Please!! Have you
ever been to Tees Hazari?

Paan-stained corridors,

pathetic canteen and bathrooms...
quite a sight.

Yeah. Very dirty.

You corporate lawyers have it good.

AC offices, top shot clients,
holidays in Spain.

How do you know
that I went to Spain?

How do you know?

Actually...

Actually, I...
I checked you out on Facebook.

Sorry.
- Excuse me.

Yes, Mamma?
- What're you doing?

You guys are talking?

'Nirmal?'

'You're gonna have sex
with someone called Nirmal?'

No. Just... having dinner. Tell me.

Don't forget to
discuss the contract.

Better safe than sorry.
- No, it's okay.

Okay, I'll be there.
Good night.

Mom.

You're pretty close to you mom huh?

Yeah. Very.

Me too.

Avni, can I ask you something?

Yeah sure, go ahead.

See, I know this may sound
a little unromantic, but...

What do you think about signing
a contract before marriage?

A contract?

You mean like a prenup?

Please don't misunderstand.

Everything is so
complicated these days that...

I mean, I just...

Frankly, It's important
for both of us.

And mamma was also saying that...

Of course not. I'm a lawyer.

I mean, in fact,
I'm a divorce lawyer.

Who will understand
this better than me?

I really like you.

I really do.

'You are invited to bless the
maariage of Rishab and Kalandi.'

Come.

"Teri Maa Ka Phone Meri
Maa Ka Phone Sab Ki Maa Ka.."

"Maa Ka Phone Aaya
Maa Ka Phone Aaya."

Yes, Mother?
- Kunkun Aunty called.

Were you having some
sort of an affair in London?

I am gonna ***
that Kunkun Aunty up. I will...

Vineet's aunt was telling her that.

Mom, please stop listening
to all the *** these aunties say.

Goodbye.
- Bye.

Bloody dog...

Who was it?

No one. Airtel.

Listen...

Had Vineet asked you to
sign a contract before marriage

would you have gone ahead?

With what face?
That cheap ***

I am the one who should
have asked for a contract.

Hmm.

Has Meera landed?
- Yes, just.

Hey Bride-to-be,
lets see that face!

Missed you.

Hi, baby.
- Hello?

Kalindi? It's me, Mamma.

Yes, Aunty!

Actually, Shishu is sleeping.

I needed that ring.

Ring? What ring?

The one he proposed to you with.

He'll give you back
at the engagement function.

Shishu is absolutely useless.
He forgot to tell you.

One more thing,

according to our customs,
we'll present you with a veil.

Keep it carefully, you'll need to
use it for...

the annual marital fast.
- Okay.

You might want to
write all this down.

You'll need rock salt.

Dear, we also believe in...
- Okay, Aunty.

We 'll also be performing
a ceremony to welcome you. - Okay.

Also we worship the Goddess of...

Got all that?
That's all.

Okay, Aunty.
- Okay, dear.

Okay.

Help! Come over ASAP!

Move... you're half blind.

Golguppas... for everyone!
And keep them coming.

Only diet ones for her.
- What the hell! No.

Then she says,
I have so many ideas.

I suggest we do a theme. I suggest
we serve a Bengali fish dish.

I suggest you go *** yourself.

What happened?

So is Paromita going to sit beside
Uncle at the wedding ceremony?

What? No.

Actually, *** it. Let her.
I just don't care anymore.

Cookie Uncle is gonna shoot her.

I'm tired of making
all these decisions.

Check out some of Avni's
potential husbands.

Driver...

Orphan, rapist!
- Stop it.

This one, below poverty line.

Arranged marriage?

I mean Avni seriously!

Inspite of being with Rishabh
for three years, I'm *** scared.

Thank you.
Knock some sense into her.

You had a love marriage.
Had fun?

It didn't even last a year bro.

Guys, I love him.

Remember?

"Papa... Papa I wanna have a
destination wedding, okay?"

Somehow you guys always
end up riding my ass?

Because it's you. Can't help it!

Anyway, I am almost thirty.

You get introduced through friends
or parents, it's the same thing.

Please Avni,
stop quoting your mother.

Let me be! Just let me be... Aunty.
Yes, Aunty?

I just wanted to discuss
the timing for the meet

and greet function tomorrow.
- How much do I have to pay you?

Our priest suggested that you
should come between 8:30 and 9:00.

Okay? I don't like to force you.

But our priest suggested,

since you'll be coming home
for the first time...

it should be
at an auspicious hour. Okay?

No, everything will be very casual.
There is no formality.

Its just our families meeting.

So just wear something
white or red.

Keep this here.
Be careful.

These have to be delivered
at the groom's house.

What happened?
- Avni!

Arjun!
- How are you?

Hi... I... I'm good.

Congratulations.
- What the ***!

Your child?

It... it... it's not mine.
That's Meera's son.

Oh.

How is aunty?

Just as she was... Crazy.

I'm glad you changed your mind.

About?
- Kids.

Yeah. That...

He's very cute.

Dear let's go.

I gotta go. So... See you.

Ok... Bye.

My baby.

So you and Vineet...?

Are you sure?

Can I say I don't know?

Just don't say anything
to Avni, please.

So after this epic disaster of
yours, any marriage advice for me?

Yes. Run *** run!

"Doors are closed,
walls are thick to boost."

"Why do you hesitate..."

"just drop the bass."
- Don't you know how to drive?

Bharat Matrimony has sent the
profiles of three more boys.

I really liked one of them.

He's very nice.
He's tall, fair and has a good job.

Just missing a few
strands hair on his head.

"There's so much to say,
lazy nights are wasting away."

"Make these nights lively,
drop the bass, anyway."

"I'd say no otherwise..."

"I'd say no otherwise..."

"Today my inhibitions
have gone for a ride."

"I won't give in without a fight."

"Drop the bass, mate."

All right ladies.

We are officially in
west side of Delhi now.

I should've worn
a traditional dress.

"Love is..."

You should've
brought Keshav Uncle with you.

Malhotras should meet our family,

one fruit basket at a time.
- Don't touch, it's looking good.

Hey, I don't mind!

My look!

Her father will never
stop being stingy.

He brings one bottle with
him and that too some local ***.

Hi, Uncle. Hi, Aunty.
- Hi uncle. Hello ma'am.

Kishan.

Hello, Cookie.

Shall we?

Did you take out
the booze from the car?

Hello uncle.
- After you.

Come. Come.

Aunty!

She is your mother-in-law's
husband's sister's grand daughter.

Kalindi, why don't you
give us a Shishu Junior soon.

Right, Sarita?

Aunty?

Are you alright?

You know,
I always wanted a daughter.

So when Shishu was young,
I loved dressing him up... frocks

clips...

I'm glad you've
come into our lives.

I was in fact going to suggest
the community hall.

Community hall?

Oh God! Take me.

What will people think!?

A farmhouse has a charm of its own.

We were actually hoping for
a destination wedding.

'Destination wedding?'

Can I make it hard?

What?
- The drink.

No, thank you.

Are you from Khalsa College?

Not at all.

KMC?

Actually, Simbi.

Ah... Pune!

I've done my fair share
of dirty dancing there!

I haven't been for a while.

That's too bad.

I'm sure the girls
of Pune must be in despair.

Excuse me, please.

Beautiful.

And our guest
list is pretty big.

Tell me... how are 1000 people.
- 1000 people.

Supposed to fit
in a community hall?

Right.
- You don't understand.

'A thousand guests?'

Can you see this colorful circus
she is marrying into?

As if yours was intimate
private affair!?

Make it stronger.
- Papa?

1000 guests?

We had decided not to have
more than 200 guests.

We've emptied many a bottle
at other people's weddings.

Now when it's our turn to host,

should we...
just show them the finger!?

What sh*t he talks.

Uncle, we wanted to keep it simple.

Kalindi, I've been dreaming about
his wedding since he was a baby.

Besides,
you guys don't even live here.

Mom what's the need
for all this fuss?

Honestly, we'll be happy
to get married in a temple.

Have you been smoking weed?

Get married in a temple.

You tell me.

This is the first wedding
in the family. - Yes.

Don't we need to
maintain relations face society?

Bro, I don't see
your wife anywhere?

No, I'm happily unmarried.

Oh!
Best decision you've made.

What did I ask you?

I'm really sorry, Kaloo.

You know what, I'm just gonna
go down and ask them to *** off.

Wait.

Relax.

Don't pick a fight.

Your mom is so excited.
She'll be hurt.

What other choice do we have?

I know.

It's just a matter of a few days.

We'll manage.

I love you, Kaloo.

You are..
- Sarita.

There they are!
- Oh no.

Santosh Aunty...
- Yes.

Hello.
- And mummy too.

How did you like your room?
Nice, isn't it?

Forget all this and come with me.

I want to show you something.

C'mon, hurry up. Come with me.

Where do you think you're going?
Stay here.

I should stay here.

See? How pretty it is!

You're going to look
like a fairy princess in it.

And Kalindi, you can easily
wear it in Australia as well.

Rishabh! Rishabh!

Go home, I'll join you.

When I got married,
I weighed only 42 kilos.

I wore western clothes,
just like you do.

Kalindi,
did you see their drawing room?

Brother?
- Hmm?

Tell me what you feel about this
for the Sangeet Function?

For you?

For her.

Fantastic!
Let's make her try it on.

"Elders advice."

"Dressing up is a vice."

"Be careful, for you'll set fire."

"If you dress up to aspire,
everyone's gonna admire."

"I'll put on a bright lipstick..."

"Walk in a short skirt, I admit."

"Dance in the club,
like I give a ***."

"If you dress up to aspire,
everyone's gonna admire."

"Dress up all you want today."

"Dance as much as you want today."

"I'm crazy about you,
for you, I'd even keep god at bay."

"Lose your inhibitions..."

"Lose your inhibitions."
"Let go of the traditions."

"Lose your inhibitions.
"Let go of the traditions."

"Lose your inhibitions.
"Let go of the traditions."

Meera, I'm taking
Kabir to the park...

Will be back in half an hour.
- Okay, Aunty.

Absolutely. Please.

Okay. - Kabir,
don't trouble grandma, okay?

Okay, Mamma.

What?
- Grandma! ***, grandma?

You're gonna leave

and then grandma's gonna
make my life miserable.

"Let the world taunt,
we don't care a damn."

"Lose your inhibitions.
Let go of the traditions."

"We will do what
our hearts say we can."

"Lose your inhibitions.
Let go of the traditions."

"Dress up all you want today."

"Dance as much as you want today."

"I'm crazy about you,
for you, I'd even keep god at bay."

"Lose your inhibitions.
Let go of the traditions."

"Lose your inhibitions.
Let go of the traditions."

"Lose your inhibitions.
Let go of the traditions."

"Lose your inhibitions.
Let go of the traditions."

"Lose your inhibitions.
Let go of the traditions."

"Lose your inhibitions..."

Have designers in Delhi
lost their mind?

Everyone in Delhi
has lost their mind. - Seriously.

If you want to afford one of these,
sell off your kidneys.

Bade Papa!

Bade Papa?
- Go.

Do not come to us,
when your husband leaves you.

Go say something.

Go, Meera.

Yes, I am fine.

I... I guess I just
didn't expect to see him.

No John, you don't have to come.

Yeah, I'm sure.

Enough bro!

How much are you
planning on drinking?

You only have one liver.

Here.
- Bye, I love you.

Bye.

Why haven't you told
Bade Papa about Kabir yet?

Why should I?

He hasn't accepted my husband yet.

Not accepting John is still fine.

But honestly, if he says anything
against Kabir... I mean even just,

Are you happy?

Darling who wouldn't
be happy with John's john?

Well done.
- Sick!

Thank the stars that John...

doesn't understand
half the *** you say.

He is learning Hindi these days.

He's been at it with those English
to Hindi dictionaries.

Oh by the way, guess what an orgasm
is called in Hindi, ladies.

Pleasure Peak.

Pleasure WHAT?

Peak, baby... Peak.

Kkkkkkk.
- Shall we?

Let's go find Pleasure Peak.

Let's go to Kaloo's house.

Meera, quit messing around.

Why, aren't you Ms. Fitness?

You're the voluptuous one.
- Avni!

Guys, this is illegal.

Shaanti Niwas now looks
more like a haunted house. - ***

Look at the condition
of this place...

Your dad and Cookie Uncle
should sell it off to some builder.

Ya... and just be done with it.

Wow!

Bro...

Cookie Uncle has hit the jackpot.

I can't believe he has all of this.

He has everything.

Wow, look at this dress guys!

Kaloo, is this dress still here?

Kaloo...
So, what happened exactly?

I know that after aunty passed away

uncle married Paromita...

like immediately.

Ya I ran off to Australia.

After that, dad and Cookie
uncle started fighting.

Yelling... shouting everyday.

She can sell whatever she wants.

No, she cannot.

She will!
- She can't!

One day Dad and Paromita
went out of town.

And then Cookie Uncle...

Wow, he pulled a big one.

They've been fighting
in court ever since.

You guys know me... I have
no interest in getting married.

Then why are you?

For Rishabh... Obviously.

But you know what?

Sometimes I feel like
I'm making a mistake.

Kalindi, you love this guy, right?

Obviously, I love him.

But these new relationships...

and how to deal with them,
what to say to whom and how.

It's so exhausting.

Just Wait,
this is only the beginning.

Vineet's *** of a mother used
to land up every two months.

Sakshi, when will you have kids?

Let's not forget dad
and uncle's cold war.

I wish mom were here.

How am I gonna do this without her?

Oh Kaloo!

We're here for you.

Good! Save me when
I end up killing everyone.

Kaloo, I am a matrimonial lawyer.

I am fed up of explaining
this to you guys.

Aww.
- Aww.

Guys, I have some good news.

Don't overact...

But I've decided
to shortlist Nirmal.

Huh?

Why? Because of Arjun?

Whatever that was 10 years ago.

Arjun is history.

So the fact that
you met him last week...

with his wife and child, has
nothing to do with this obviously?

Not at all.

Listen...

When are you going to
introduce us to your Nirmu?

Nirmu, Nirmu!

*** me, Nirmu!
- Amazing!

Please *** me, Nirmu!
Back off!

[CHANTING PRAYERS]

Goyal, I am gonna *** you up.
Understood?

Just release my shipment, okay?

Hail the Goddess!

Look at that one.
Just... just Look at him!

Why don't I just get married
right now? Priest is also here.

Why this granny bun?

Couldn't you let them loose?

Waiter, where's the bar?

C'mon don't say that!

That's a brand new waistcoat.

Bhandari.

Looking for alcohol?

Can the Bride's parents,
come forward please.

Please proceed.

The Bride's parents.

Mamma, I want more.

God only knows when
you'll give me grandkids.

I don't have to marry for that.

If you carry on like this,
We'll have to freeze your eggs.

Mamma!

No, we're pretty close to it.

We're like ten minutes away
from the beach.

How lovely.

Kishan, I can't believe you
went all the way to Australia...

and didn't see a single beach.

You came to Australia?

Yes, I had some urgent work.

Morning in evening out.

Did you try the sweets, Uncle?

Sarita...

They're right here!

Your mom and dad have left?

Did they eat lunch.

Santosh Aunty,
I have repeatedly told you that

she's not Kalindi's mother.
Stop calling her that.

Then what do I call her?

This is my step.

You do this one.

And then like this.

This one is mine.

He is here now.

What happened?
- Let's go.

Look they are going again.

These guys are too much.

Nirmal.

Hi.
- Hi.

Who is he?

Now who is he?
- There he is. Go.

Hi.
- Hi. Eh... come.

Those are my friends. - Sir,
need money to pay the florist.

Come.

Take this.
- Thank you, sir.

Can I get something for you?
- No, that's okay.

Come, cheers.
What's that behind?

Aunty, you see this grass?
Brand new from Japan.

Not bad, eh.

Yeah, not bad.
- Your "Nirmu" is quite hot.

I say jump him.

Are you mad?

Not before anything's fixed.

What?

I won't even buy a car
without a test drive first.

She has packed her
"goodies" airtight...

no one can even
get a whiff of it.

While they have generously
been distributed...

around her office
just last month.

"My mesmerizing eyes shine bright."

"Many go wayward,
when I come in sight."

"When I groove,
they make their move."

"My hot body on fire
is what they desire."

Wow chubby, I didn't think you'd
be able to pull off these moves.

I thought you couldn't dance
to save your life. - Thank you.

You alcoholic less drinking...

more dancing.

He also choreographed
Saifeena's wedding.

"My mesmerizing eyes shine bright."

"Many go wayward,
when I come in sight."

"When I groove,
they make their move."

"My hot body on fire
is what they desire."

"Don't be lazy, go for a quickie."

"I have hots for you!"
- Yes, mom.

"Hey, the one with
naughty intentions..."

"Come on, let me..."

"Kiss you."

"Kiss you."

"Kiss you."

"Come on, let me..."

"Kiss you."

"Kiss you."

"Kiss you."

Sarita,
we're bringing home an angel.

I swear.

Hey, come on.

Oh you guys.

Hey kabir.

I really missed you.

Alright. Okay.

Tag... you're it.

Now, Sakshi put the garland
around Kabir.

Shut it off.

This is so depressing.

Sweetheart...

We blew up 35 million
on her wedding.

Let's watch what we paid for...

Let's watch the movie
since we are home.

It will be entertaining.

***.

I'm Mrs. Malhotra.

Kaloo! Hurry up.
We are getting late.

Coming!

Be careful with your dress.

***.

Welcome my dear. Welcome.
- Welcome my dear. Welcome.

I don't see your parents?

Oh, your uncle is here.

Welcome...

That'll do.

Come, dear. Come along.

Yes, we're coming. Please go ahead.

But she'll be all alone.

Ladies and Gentleman, please
proceed to the stage...

to meet and greet Kalindi
and Rishabh

and give them your blessings.
- Oh, my baby!

Not on the stage, Aunty!

Aunty!

Cameraman, photo!

Take it from the center.

From the center.

Hey, Moonga Uncle is here.

Mr. Moonga!
- Come Rishab.

Don't worry, he'll come.

Baby, I'll be right back.

Her father will be here soon.

Papa's still not here.

Probably on his way.
I'll go and check.

Where are the ***
I call my friends?

Nothing but strings today?

Upping your game, eh?

Guys, I'm thinking... I'll
atleast kiss him tonight.

Yeah baby... just jump him!

Yeah?
- Just do it.

There he is.

Go, show him your true colors.

Nirmal...

Hi.
- Hi.

Wow!

You look like...

Wow.
- Thanks.

Where is Rishab?

Have you seen Rishabh anywhere?

He must be around somewhere.

I'll go find him.

Hey, hello.

What are you looking at?
Delete that.

Get me some more.

"Let's groove together tonight
like never before."

Tonight...

It's on.
- And you...?

Double on.
- Amazing.

What should I do?

Nirmu, Nirmu!

Nirmal, I...

Nirmal...
- Avni...

I'm looking for a wife,
not a hookup.

But...
- I'm sorry I wasted your time.

But what have I done?

Please go inside,
you're embarrassing yourself.

Because I tried to kiss you?

You... You...

You... ***.

Who do you think you are?
You're just a glorified clerk!

You think you will reject me?

I reject you and your contract.

Don't create a scene,
everyone's watching.

Do you know what's the
problem with guys like you?

You think you want "a modern,
independent wife."

But the truth is,
you just want a maid...

in the background who nods along.

Mister, you cannot
handle a woman like me. - Listen...

And what kind of a name is Nirmal?

Why are you getting...
- Let me guess.

Your mother must have named you.

You know what it's bloody stupid.

Go back to your mama.

Actually,
go marry your mother only.

Crazy ***!

Bloody mother lover!

Get in.

So you kissed him and he bounced?

For god's sake, keep your
crappy advice to yourself.

I should've never
listened to you guys.

You mean he actually said no.

So basically, he's gay.

Yes.

I made a complete ass of myself.

***!

Give me a drag.

You sure... 126 days...

Smoking is injurious to
your health and your disposition.

Did you notice... she's
here today as well.

I mean she is getting a divorce.

It's no small matter.

The girl has no shame at all.

She drinks straight up.

Really? I've heard
she's into drugs as well.

Shameless.

Poor parents.

Her father used to
prowl around like a proud lion.

Have you seen him
lately... like a pussy cat.

Obviously.

Spent so much on that wedding...
didn't even last six months.

He can't show his face to anyone.

The mother has stopped
stepping out of the house.

She doesn't even come
to the country club.

The daughter on the other hand...
refuses to leave the nightclub.

Vineet's aunt was saying that
she is having an affair.

Really?
- Really?

What a mess.

Forget it. Who cares?

True... true...
why should we bother! - Let's go.

Now let's proceed
towards the stage...

for a dance performance
by Rishabh, Kalindi and friends.

There was a girl, a little crazy...

She had secretly fallen in love.

"All my admirers
offer to drop me home."

"Lost in love, they whisper
sweet nothings at gloam."

"Some are dating
and some are waiting."

"Some are stalking
and some are talking."

"Some just want some lip-locking."

"Don't be lazy, go for a quickie."

"I have hots for you!"

"Hey, the one with
naughty intentions..."

"Come on, let me..."

"What?"

"Kiss you."

"Kiss you."

"Kiss you."

"Come let me..."

"Kiss you."

"Kiss you."

"Kiss you."

"Kiss you."

You're hammered.
- No, you're hammered.

How does one get out of here?

Going for a smoke?

No I was going to the bathroom,
but why not?

Okay.

You're looking hot tonight.
- Hey, one large whiskey.

What kind of a person are you?

I don't have time
for your nonsense.

It seems you don't even have
time to call your daughter.

You didn't have time
to meet her in Australia.

And now you *** don't have
time to attend her wedding?

Why does she need me?

Her father is already here.

***!

Guys... tonight we drink like dogs.

Ready?

One... Two...

Three, go!

After the scintillating
performance...

It is time for ring ceremony.

"The moon coyly hides
behind the clouds, my love..."

Said Rishabh to Kalindi
when he saw her.

She is so beautiful.

Yes she is, Grandma.
This is just like a fairytale.

Let him go! Stop it! Let him go!

You scoundrel!
- Listen to me!

On my finger is a ring
and in the ring is a diamond.

Applause.

It's different.
- It's different, isn't it?

This moon, the golden tree...
very different decoration.

In fact different theme only.

It's bigger.
- Show me.

How did this get bigger?

Nothing.

Must be a mix up.
Don't worry about it.

Have you lost your mind
after coming

to Delhi or are you just blind?

We'll get our ring back.

Don't worry.

It's not about the ring, Rishabh.
It's about everything.

Are we getting married
for ourselves, or these people?

This is a non-stop circus.

What the ***is happening man?

Bloody henpecked husband!

I am. Yes, I am.

At least I don't go around
hiding my relationship.

You're a coward.
Bloody coward.

There's a limit to showing off!

Why does everything
has to be so over-the-top!

Big ring,
big necklace, big function!

Tomorrow if we have kids, is
this what we're gonna teach them?

I don't know what's wrong with you.
I think you've lost your mind.

Your family has lost their mind.

At least I have one.

I'm really sorry!

I'm really sorry,
I didn't mean to say that.

I swear...

Oh no! What happened?

Rishabh?

Go and see if he's hurt.
- Shishu?

Call the ambulance.

Are you hurt? Shishu?
- Rishabh?

Shishu?

Are you fine?
- Are you fine?

Rishabh?
- Shishu?

Rishabh?
- Shishu?

'She is making a lot of mistakes.'

Shishu?
- Brother?

Rishabh?

Rishabh, are you alright?

Are you fine?
- Yes.

Where's Kalindi?

'People will say, had I been there
I would have...'

reasoned it out with her,
scolded her.

'But it's her life
and she has to live it.'

'She has to make her own decisions,
Right or wrong'...

'Had I been there,
this is what I'd say.'

He is doing mamma uh, mamma uh...

Oh God, you guys think he'll
remember this?

Of course.

His mother throwing
up like the exorcist...

Poor thing must be in trauma.

This is gonna take
years of therapy.

Meera relax, he's two years old.

Shut up.

Yes, Rishabh?

Where is Kalandi?
- Kalindi?...

Must be in her room.

Her phone is switched off.

Yesterday after the accident...
- What?

What accident?
- Never mind.

Please check her room.
I'm coming over. - What?

What accident? One second.

Oh no God!

Oh you waked.

Good morning, beautiful.

Oh God!

Oh no God!

Hello, Inspector?

Want to file a
missing person's report.

This is Kshitij Puri
Since last night.

I'll hold. Yes, I'll hold.

God! Poor child.
Wonder where she is.

What the *** hell!

There were like
a 1000 people there.

Someone must have seen her while
stuffing their faces with pasta.

Maybe we should start calling
up the public and making inquiries?

Smile please.

Oh, my God!

I think we burnt a
lot of calories last night.

I didn't want to kill my own game
so I didn't say anything.

What happened to your nincompoop?
- Nirmu?

I mean Nirmal?

He had to leave.
- How sweet of him.

Any chance,
there's time for another round?

Consider it morning cardio.

Santosh Aunty?

Is she your...
- Mom.

God!

Hey... at least
give me your number!

Should we check the hospitals?

God! Poor child.
Wonder where she is!

Her rash should've
been my first clue.

This is all my fault, guys.
I'm really sorry.

Rishabh, this is not your fault.

Keshav, I was fighting
on behalf of Kalindi.

Excuse me.

Good morning.
- Listen...

Did you see Kalindi
after the ring ceremony?

Er... I...

I... I didn't make it
for the ring ceremony.

Sorry.

Great.

They won't file
a missing person's report

before 24 hours.
- Excuse me.

Well, well, well.

May we ask where
madam is coming from?

I don't wanna talk about it.

Nirmu?

No, not that one.

Bhandari.

I don't even know his first name.

What's wrong with me?

By the way,
you know who his mother is, right?

So, we'll get you
married on a moon as well...

In a gown.

Just like a fairy princess.
- You are...

I mean the bride has run away...

Why don't you get married instead?
Won't that be great?

Such a good friend you are.

Bro...

I know where Kalindi is.

Cookie Uncle!

Are you okay.

Dad taught me how to ride a bike...

On that road.

We didn't have much
traffic back then.

And under that tree,
in winters, mom used to set up...

a full-on breakfast table.

Although I think dad and Cookie
Uncle used it more like a bar.

Sometimes I feel that Dad and
I were connected only through mom.

Mom gone relationship gone.

Baby...

I'm really sorry for
saying those things to you.

I didn't mean to.
- I know.

But you were right.

I don't have a family.

Don't say that Kaloo.

No, it's true.

Maybe that's why I don't
believe in all this.

But you know what...

I tried really hard.

I swear.
- I know, I know.

Did I ever force
you to do any of this?

But family,
relationships, relatives...

are so important to your family.

And to you.

I don't think I can
fulfill these expectations.

Please don't hate me.

We came this close, huh?

They're coming, together.

Oh god that's a relief.

Yes, thank God.

They looks good together.

Where's Rishabh off to? All good?

It's over.

What do you mean "over"?
- What?

What happened?

Everything was going so well.

I can't do this.
- What do you mean?

He's such a nice guy.

You guys have been
together for so long.

Kalindi...

Don't tell me you're breaking
up with him because of his family.

You know sometimes,
I can't understand you.

What're you thinking man...

Why are you doing this?

Because not everyone is as
desperate as you to get married.

Why're you lashing out at her?

This is all your fault.

My fault?

Just look at yourself Sakshi.

Have you ever used your
head to make any decision in life.

No, I haven't.
- Kaloo.

At least I don't run away
from stuff like you do.

Grow some *** balls, Kalindi.

No need to overanalyze
everything in life, Kalindi.

Really? You're saying that to me?

Listen guys...
enough with this *** fight.

Let's go home, have a couple
of drinks and talk about this.

Why? Didn't you have
enough last night?

Excuse me?
- Anyway... thanks guys.

For being the most
supportive friends in the world.

Because last night, you
didn't leave my side for a second.

Oh boohoo, Kalindi.

Stop thinking about
yourself for two minutes...

Some of us have real problems.

Real problems?

20 million on engagement
50 on the wedding.

That's not a ***
real problem, Sakshi!

That's it! I am going to slap her!
- Kaloo... just calm down.

Kalindi,
drop this damsel-in-distress act.

You're not the first or the last
girl in the world to get married.

Yeah, I know.

But I'm definitely the first to
do it without my *** friends.

Come on Kaloo, please!
- Go! Run back to Australia.

What else can we expect from you?

- Just shut up guys, please.
- Go *** yourself.

I've had enough of her nonsense.

***!

***!

Stupid.

God! We're ***.

Shishu, at least tell us
what happened.

I told you.

I don't want to marry.

Great.

After spending millions, he says...

he doesn't want to get married.

You stay out of it.

Come on tell mamma.

Did you have a fight
with Kalindi?

Hey... fight?
Who doesn't fight in a marriage?

Son, fights are the foundation
marriages are built on.

Try to understand, son...

the invitations have
been offered to the gods, Huh?

Oh God...
- Sorry.

Yeah?

Sir a police officer is
here to meet you.

Ask him to wait.
- Okay, sir.

What do you mean you
don't wanna marry?

Your entire gang is
completely insane.

One eloped to get married...

The other is getting divorced.

And the third one called
off a perfect wedding.

I'm sure they are the ones
who influenced you against Nirmal.

Can you please stop bitching
about my friends.

You're always poking
your nose into my life.

At least stay out of theirs.

I mean...
Nirmal is such a nice boy.

Well-educated, smart...

But his CV fails to mention
that he's an ***.

God, mom.
- Language.

"We had soared,
only to fall down."

"Yet we drowned our
sorrows with a smile."

"We know everyrthing."

"It's a punishment
for the miunderstanding."

Have you seen Sakshi's message?

On the group.

Oh, my God!
- As they say, when fate *** you

its usually up the ***.

And these past few days,
we've been getting humped and how.

At least we were together.

So what if the wedding
is called off?

We can still enjoy the honeymoon.

What the ***!

Before we get back
to our *** lives again.

I want to spend a few days...
with my bros.

And so... Swadikaa, ***!

'Cos we're going to Phuket!

Is she mad?
- Obviously.

It's Sakshi Soni.

She can't find peace without
blowing up daddy's money.

Remember the whole baking phase?

"Papa, papa, I wanna go to Paris."

Like Delhi just doesn't cut it.

"Brothers,
we'll walk a new path together."

"Brothers,
we'll make a new life together."

"Brothers,
we'll walk a new path together."

"Brothers,
we'll make a new life together."

'The person you are trying
to reach is currently unavailable.'

Are you coming out or
should I come in?

Coming!
- Come on.

Are you crazy!
- You're hot, man!

Oh my God.
- So sexy!

Take it off!
Everyone's naked in Thailand.

"Everyone's life is messy."

"So live your dreams
don't be fussy."

"It's time to seize
the moment, buddy."

"Our friendship's
deep as it can be."

"Bro, I guess we came
even compete with the sea."

"I'll always feel assured
when you are with me."

"Intentions as weird
as they can be."

"As wild as you and me."

"Now don't be a cry baby."

"As long as you have your
friends to give you company."

"Brothers,
we'll walk a new path together."

"Brothers,
we'll make a new life together."

I love him.

Carefully.

Kaloo, I'm eating your share.
- Yes.

You want boom boom?

I know,
I know you want boom boom?

Yeah, yeah, she wants.

Come back, come back.

It's written all over your face.

I heard someone went all boom
boom at the dance function.

What? You slept with him?

And that too at
Santosh Aunty's house? - Yuck!

You were right, Kalindi.
I have become so desperate.

And for what
to become someone's wife.

I mean no matter how much you
study, graduation, post graduation.

Even if you buy
your own house... car.

But you've achieved nothing until
you become someone's goddamn wife.

Twenty-first century,
my ***.

Avni, language.

I mean you've come of age,
get married.

You're married, have a kid.

Oh you've got one, have another.

What is this pressure, man?

How are people doing this?

I've lost my mind.

I can't believe I slept
with that shady Bhandari!

You know he's a shopkeeper, dude?

I'm pretty sure he hasn't
even graduated from high school.

Okay, so now one needs
a degree to bang you?

So sick, man...
you know what I mean.

Okay, fine. But as it turns out,
the boy is rather generous.

How?

Apparently, madam took a trip to
Pleasure Peak that night.

Multiple trips, dude.
- That's great.

Oh multiple.
- Oh multiple.

That's lovely bro.

"Brothers,
we'll walk a new path together."

"Brothers,
we'll make a new life together."

Sakshi Soni.

By sponsoring Air
India business class trips,

do you realize
you're spoiling us?

Nice flight, uh?

Always on time.

"What happened,
why it happened, forget it."

"Just forget it."

"All these are things
are pointless, meaningless."

"With open arms you
should welcome happiness."

"This is what life is."

"A little bitter,
a little sweet, regardless."

Bhandu...

Bhandu...

Shag me now, Bhandu!

Sakshi Soni, I will kill you.

You should be happy, ***.

At least you're getting some.

Pleasure Peak is the damn
reason I'm getting divorced.

Okay guys, I was wrong.
You were right.

I shouldn't have
rushed into marriage.

Vineet was quite shady.

We barely knew each other.

And by the time we did,

we realized we don't
like each other very much.

So basically epic fights.

Instead of sitting on your ass
the whole day,

why don't you get
a *** job, Sakshi?

I haven't got a *** job

because I'm too busy cooking
for you everday!

Just a second.

Neha, I'll call you.

Sakshi! Sakshi... how dare you?

Sakshi, open the door!

Hmm... thanks.
- Not bad.

Vineet, you coming?
- Yeah.

Sakshi, my work friends are here.
- Yes.

Can you look a little presentable!?

You're looking worse than a maid.

Obviously,
it affected our sex life.

I mean... zero.

So basically, he cheated on you?
- No!

One day after an epic fight
like below the belt,

I told him I'm
going back to India.

So, he came home
early from work.

Sakshi...

You cheated on him.

Not technically.

You're home early today?

What?

You mean like...

Ménage à moi?

So basically, after the fight
you were like I'm bored

there's nothing better to do.

So you know what,
let me jerk off.

It had been three months, dude!

And honestly I think the fight

turned me on a little.

Do your parents know?
- Are you nuts?

How can I share "this"?

Delhi aunties are
already hounding me.

If this is out,
I'll be declared a porn star.

Hello, have you ever
been to a family court?

It gets very ugly.

That's why I think I should give
into that *** demands

and put an end to this nuisance.

Is he blackmailing you?

I guess, kind of.

How much?

Five?

Hundred thousand?

Million!

Your bill.

You want money?

Let's spilt it.

Give it to me.

You pauper.
- You pay, Kalindi.

Sakshi Soni, listen to me now,
cause last time you had not.

If you give even a single
penny to that *** Vineet...

I'll be your worst enemy.

Sign the divorce papers.

Settlement...

I'll settle him.

Nobody calls my best friend a maid.

***.

Vineet turned out to
be worse than expected.

Not everyone is as lucky as you,
***.

I haven't had sex in a year.

What?
- Drought famine.

But what about John's john...

Lies.

Obviously, I love my son.

He's the apple of my eye,
my heart, my soul...

But that ***
came out... this big.

And he was stuck in
there for like 12 hours.

Like really stuck in there...

You know then they have to
take the suction pump and then...

Meera, please please please!
Please!

I want to have children some day.

Then you should know this.

No, I don't want to know this.

On top of that,
I look like a cow.

My poor John.

Baby, you are still sexy.

Thank you.

Come on.

Means what?
- Stop body shaming.

No, you should eat.
Some more crab?

Sakshi...
- Eat away.

I'm not sharing. Nonsense.

"Brothers,
we'll walk a new path together."

Come on, Kaloo!

"Brothers,
we'll make a new life together."

"Brothers,
we'll walk a new path together."

"Brothers,
we'll make a new life together."

I can't help it.
But I miss you.

Hey, you're back.

Welcome back honey!

How was the holiday?

Can I talk to you
guys for a minute?

Hey, where is everybody?
- Hi!

Hey, Kalindi! Yeah, the boy's
gonna be out till late tonight.

- Hey babe.
- Hello!

Hold me.

Hello!

Hello!

I was furious so
I got a little drunk.

At home, all alone I was sort
of using this instrument and...

Ma...
- Hmm?

I've always done whatever
you've asked of me.

But this arranged marriage
stuff I just can't do it.

I really tried.

But I am what I am.

I don't think I can change.

I also am, what I am.

I'll keep nagging you.

Oh, my God.

Oh, I love you old woman!

Who the hell are you calling old!?

Today I'll not leave you.

Swadikaa.

You're truly my daughter.

Had you told me sooner,
I would've sorted him out.

Good morning, Cookie Uncle.

Ah, the runaway bride has returned.

So?

Have you spoken to Rishabh?

No.

Why?
- So you don't know?

What?

Your father-in-law
is making headlines.

We got off easy.

Bank fraud of 20 million.
- What do you mean?

It means he's behind bars,
doing time.

Rishabh!

Tell me something, Uncle.

Why were mom and dad together?

Because of me, right?

Of course not.

They loved each other.

And I can't think
of a better reason.

Look, whatever they were,
however they were...

they loved you a lot.

I guess marriage
just isn't in my DNA.

Hey.

Why do you think that?

You are neither crazy like your
mom nor stubborn like your dad.

Love and fights always
go hand-in-hand.

I mean look at Keshav and I.

Darling.

Please don't base
your life's decisions...

on the their
stupid mistakes.

Rishabh!

Are you okay?

Now I am.

Come.

You must have some contacts, dude!

Hi, Kaloo.

***.

What?

Can you at least
sneak in some booze.

Someone has cast
an evil eye upon us.

What have we ever done to anyone.

That's what I fail to understand.

Only a couple of bounced cheques
what's the big deal?

Oh God!
Why are you doing this to us?

Because God never asked
you to hire Russian dancers.

I told you,
his bail has been issued.

I don't understand what will you get
by keeping an old man behind bars.

How can we let him go, madam?

We have to follow the law.

Don't try to teach me the law.

This is the copy of it.

You will soon get the original.

You are harassing
the family for no reason.

Well done, Tiger!
You totally devoured them!

You are a force to reckon with.

- So, I...
- I was wondering..

Go ahead.

I was trying to
say that whatever...

Happened that night...

Whatever happened that night...

It wasn't me.

It was just me dealing
with some issues.

Well I didn't mind at all.

And you also looked quite pleased.

Oh well, you forgot
something at my place.

I thought I should
keep it but then..

Bhandari!

Listen...
Listen! Listen! Listen!

I have a "case" pending
since quite a few days.

Help me, please?

I help people get divorced.

Are you married?

Just waiting for you to say yes.

Wait, wait, wait.

Let me drop you home.

I've booked an Uber.

A loan of 20 million!

A loan of 20 million!!

Earlier I thought
only my mother is crazy.

But my father..

Food from Italy..

He *** wants to feed
people Italian food!

Even if he has to
eat the prison food.

You know
you were absolutely right.

Everything was just perfect.

I *** up everything
by proposing to you.

I really wish we could go back.

Me too.

When are you going back?

Day after tomorrow.

What about you?

I don't think I'm
going back to Australia.

Honestly, I don't know how long
It'll take me to sort all this out.

Two years, five years.

Luckily the house lease
is in your name so...

you won't have
to face any problems.

Get pest control
done after you go back.

"Now that we have come together,
why don't you stay?"

"A few promises fulfilled,
a few promises left to keep."

"What can I say?"

"A few dreams shall be fulfilled
and a few forever unfulfilled."

"What can I say?"

"Please come back."

"Please come back."

"Please come back."

"You don't need to think so hard."

"Please come back."

"Please come back."

"Please come back."

"You don't need to think so hard."

"Let's dwell in each other's
hearts, even if only for a while."

"Let's just live and
not bother about the trials."

"Let's recourse the wandered
promise to the right path."

"Let's rekindle hope..."

Kalindi, your ticket...

Where's Kalindi?

She's gone to the house one
last time, before she leaves.

"Please come back.."

"Please come back.."

What a disastrous
non-wedding it is!

The groom's selling his house.

The bride's leaving her house,
so pathetic!

"There will be many evenings
which will come to a standstill."

"There will be many conversations
without any frills."

"We'll act stubborn over
a small issue..."

"it'll be a long night
I understand."

"We'll still manage to
love each other in the end."

Poor Kaloo.

She's going back
in such bad shape.

All alone!

Does her dad even
know what happened?

Only if he could spare
time from philandering.

I feel so helpless.

I really miss Ritu Aunty.

Seriously, man.

She had balls.

None of this would happen,
if she were here.

All the uncles, Malhotras..

She would have taught
them all a lesson!

"You were right there.."

"Yet you were unavailable
and I was missing."

"Now that we've come together,
why don't you stay?"

Where are you going?
- To teach them a lesson.

Uncle!

No, no, no!

I'll readily dance at the signal
with the lepers, naked.

But I will never
talk to that scoundrel.

Never!

See!

The smaller the brain
the bigger the ego!

It's been four years.

The only people benefiting
are the lawyers.

And who is suffering?

Kalindi.

Uncle!

Are you listening to me?

How can you be so selfish?

After aunty passed away,
instead of supporting her

all of you have started
throwing tantrums.

I have always made Kaloo..

And that day, during the function
you guys crossed all limits.

In front of so many people,
you started fighting like loafers!

Come on, Uncle!

End this now.

Seriously, Cookie.

Don't you understand
what Kalindi is going through?

For a change, instead of yourself
think about her.

Kalindi is going back tonight.

Do you want her to never come back?

Hello? Hi Krishna Uncle,
Sakshi here.

Do you have a minute?
Good.

Because Cookie Uncle
wants to talk to you.

One sec.

Come on, Uncle.

Uncle!
- Come on.

Yes, Krishna.

You know I never understood

why did you have to vacate
the house after our fight.

Honestly speaking...

I wasn't angry at Paromita.

I was angry because I felt that..

Because of her.

Kalindi left us.

And you two left me.

Cookie I've supported
all your choices and decisions.

Always.

I'm sorry, bro.

What's this?

Property papers of Shanti Niwas.

Is this your idea?

Ever since childhood, have
you done anything in moderation?

Crazy fool.

Where's uncle?

I'll miss my damn flight!

Uncle, I thought you forgot!
- Sorry, kiddo.

There was something pending that
I should've taken care of long ago.

Papa?

What's going on?

The epic battle is over!

No more villains.

My dear, I can't bring back
the time lost.

But I can at least try
to make our future better.

Cookie.

Our gift to you.

Papers of the house?

Uncle..

I can't take this.

The house always was

and is, yours.

I really missed you.

You know...

whenever Ritu and I used to fight

she used to go and paint.

That's why it looked more
of a museum than a house.

True.

We fought a lot, didn't we?

Like cats and dogs.

Really?

Whatever we were,
however we were...

we were family.

I've made a lot of mistakes.

Being angry, being stubborn.

Maybe I'm just as stubborn.

Maybe.

But you are smarter than me,
Kalindi.

I'm sure you'll
take the right decision.

Rishabh is a very nice guy.

Your mummy would have loved him.

You're back.

No, still on the way.

Lawyer sent these papers for you
to sign and send them back.

Here.

Mohan, get me food.

Shishu?

Why are you eating downstairs?

You should go and eat upstairs.

You are the one who insists
on eating in the dining room.

Hey, don't argue just go.

Shishu, listen..

I had asked the priest
to pray specially.

Have the offering.

Everything will be fine.

Okay?
Go now. Go!

Everything's okay!

Hi!

Hi Kaloo.

Look!

It's still very scary for me...

but I still want to do it.

'Cause not doing
it is even scarier.

Rishabh Malhotra...

will you marry me?

Oh God!

Just a minute.
Baby, I'll be right back.

Is it too late, Rishabh?

I had gone looking for our ring.

Baby, this all this...

it's not going to be easy.

Family never is!

Sarita!

There they are!

Going to be bride,
show us your beautiful face!!

Wow.

Kaloo!

Looking so beautiful.
- Looking so gorgeous.

What's your name, son?

Kabir Singh Stinson.

What's your name?

Hey, my name is also Kabir Singh.

Okay, I've brought
something for all of you.

What?
- Something small.

Mom had four of these,
I think each of us should keep one.

But..

Kalindi, how can we..

She would've wanted us to have it.

It's beautiful.

Welcome, welcome!

Welcome.
- I'll have to attend this call.

Badé Papa!

You look just like Ritu!

Papa!

You know the tailor
had made this skirt,

two inches longer.

Ritu kept tripping on it.

I couldn't understand
a thing when she left us.

What should I do?
Where should I go?

And I'm really sorry my dear..

I left you all alone
after she passed away.

I'm really sorry.

I was never alone, Papa.

Where are you going?
- There is your car.

Damn... damn.

I called him. He was happy to come.

Hi, Aunty. Hello, Aunty.

You're looking nice.
- Hello, Aunty.

Nice dress.

I thought I should share
the good news with you personally.

Actually,
my divorce just got finalized.

You see, my dog of a husband
caught me *** myself.

You know, right? Self-service?

And by the way, as we are
on the topic of sex and drugs..

Aunty, I should tell
you that your son.

Is the most famous
coke dealer of Green Park.

And his biggest client
is your daughter Aunty.

And they are also having an affair.

Can't help it.
Coke's too expensive these days.

Anyway, who cares!

You didn't want to write my name?

Hi, Bhandari.

Hello, beautiful.

You know,
I dreamed about you last night.

Did I have my clothes on?
- Unfortunately yes.

Bye, Bhandari.
- Listen.

See you downstairs.

What about your mobile number?
- Didn't get it in your dreams?

'Kalandi and her weird
and eccentric Bros...'

have made it so far.

'They had each other's back
They understood each other.'

'They will make mistakes.'

'And they will learn
from these mistakes.'

'They will write
their own stories..'

'which will be better than
fairytales that give false hope.'

'Their stories will
have a new twist every day.'

'And they will have a
new happy ending every day.'

Hello?
- Hello, beautiful.

Bhandari..

How did you get my number?

Where there is a
will there is a way...

I know it's a cliché.

Look towards your right.

Your mom gave me your number.

Listen, Bhandari.

I have no intentions
of getting married.

I'm not running behind
you with a ring either.

How about a date?

Fine, I'll think about it.
Call me tomorrow.

Okay, done.

Hey listen..

What's your first name?

Will tell you tomorrow,
on our date.

"Brothers... Brothers."

"Brothers... Brothers."

"Hide the clocks, lock the doors."

"Looking at the time
isn't allowed no more."

"Hide the clocks, lock the doors."

"Looking at the time
isn't allowed no more."

"We'll rock the dance floor as
planned, when no one gives a damn!"

"We'll rock the dance floor as
planned, when no one gives a damn!"

"We'll rock the dance
floor as planned."

"Manali stuff is getting me high."

"I take left when I'm
supposed to go right."

"I take left.. when
I'm supposed to go right."

"We'll rock the dance floor tonight
When we fly like a kite."

"We'll rock the dance floor
tonight.. When we fly like a kite."

"Give me some heavy now."

"Harder."

"Mesmerize with your eyes, unleash
your desire hidden inside."

"And rock the dance floor."

"Use the excuse of the night,
let the love soar with delight."

"And rock the dance floor."

"This is what everyone
in India also understands."

"We'll rock the dance floor as
planned, when no one gives a damn!"

"We'll rock the dance floor as
planned, when no one gives a damn!"

"We'll rock the dance
floor as planned.."

"After so many Tinder swipe,
I got the one who is my Mr. Right."

"The one who is my Mr. Right."
I got the one who is my Mr. Right."

"We'll rock the dance floor tight..
When we hookup tonight!"

"We'll rock the dance floor tight
When we hookup tonight!"

"Give me some heavy now."

"Harder."

"We'll rock the dance floor."

"We'll rock the dance floor."

"We'll rock the dance floor."

"We'll rock the dance floor.."

"Hide the clocks, lock the doors."

"Looking at the time
isn't allowed no more."

"Looking at the time
isn't allowed no more."

"We'll rock the dance floor as
planned, when no one gives a damn!"

"We'll rock the dance
floor as planned."

"We'll rock the dance
floor as planned."

"We'll rock the dance
floor as planned."

"Let me whisper a
true feeling of mine."

"I forget the world
when I see you smile."

"Let me know I should
it explain to you how."

"You should leave the
one who is with you now."

"Why so much of attitude,
I don't like it."

"You ask too many questions,
I'm not paying attention to it."

"Tell me how much more
do I need to praise you?"

"Tell me how much more
do I need to praise you?"

"Tell me how much more
do I need to praise you?"

"Tell me how much more
do I need to praise you?"

"Baby, my mind, you blow."

"Others shine, you glow."

"You wear jeans so tight,
just like my flow."

"Baby, goddamn,
you're 100, others average."

"Others are savage,
baby you are raw."

"I like everything about
you which others think is a flaw."

"Baby, let's go right now."

"Don't make wait anyhow."

"Your waist is lean,
your words are so mean."

"You're on dieting, so
attitude's off the menu too now."

"Tell me how much more
do I need to praise you?"

"Tell me how much more
do I need to praise you?"

"Tell me how much more
do I need to praise you?"

"Tell me how much more
do I need to praise you?"

"Why don't you get me?"

"Why do you fight me?"

"You look beautiful,
but your nature is deceitful."

"You don't get it,
I have told you so many times."

"Come with me."

"Why so much of attitude,
I don't like it."

"You ask too many questions,
I'm not paying attention to it."

"Tell me how much more
do I need to praise you?"

"Tell me how much more
do I need to praise you?"

"Tell me how much more
do I need to praise you?"

"Tell me how much more
do I need to praise you?"

"Why so much of attitude,
I don't like it."

"You ask too many questions,
I'm not paying attention to it."

"Tell me how much more
do I need to praise you?"

"Tell me how much more
do I need to praise you?"

"Tell me how much more
do I need to praise you?"

"Tell me how much more
do I need to praise you?"

"Baby, my mind, you blow."

"Others shine, you glow."

"You wear jeans so tight,
just like my flow."

"Baby, goddamn,
you're 100, others average."

"Others are savage,
baby you are raw."

"I like everything about
you which others think is a flaw."

"Baby, let's go right now."

"Don't make wait anyhow."

"Your waist is lean,
your words are so mean."

"You're on dieting, so
attitude's off the menu too now."

"Tell me how much more
do I need to praise you?"

"Tell me how much more
do I need to praise you?"

"Tell me how much more
do I need to praise you?"

"Tell me how much more
do I need to praise you?"