Tyler Perry's Acrimony (2018) Movie Script

Stop being such pussies.

Just grab the rope.

No, no way.

I don't want to lose my badge.

If we get caught,

Bade Papa's gonna kill me.

Avni, it's the last day of school.

From tomorrow,

you're not gonna be so important.

Come on!

God save us!

One.

Two.

Three!

Run... Run...

Get back to your class.

The lecture has not ended yet.

Come on, get back.

Come on, return to your class.

No! I love you more.

Tchhee!

I can't wear this to the party.

No, I love you more.

No, you hang up.

Sakshi! What the ***!

Enough man.

As it is... You're

following Arjun to Pune.

How about spending

some time with us, uh?

Simbi is one of the top

five law colleges.

Huh?

We just got done with finals.

Why are we already

talking about college?

What's the rush?

Lets just go to

Prague for a year or two.

Dad just bought a villa there.

Wow! Prague!

Sounds so exotic.

Take me with you.

Show me some hot white guys.

Bade Papa has already lined up some

hillbillies for me to marry.

Like really long beards,

hair coming out of their ears.

Oh God!

What century does

Bade Papa live in?

Job, career,

nothing is important to him?

A girl just needs to finish school

and get her married.

I seriously have no

interest in getting married.

I just refuse to.

Congratulations, my Veerus.

- Hello Aunty.

It's Veere, Ma.

Veere, like bros.

Whatever.

You guys did it!

School's finally over!

Hey!

- What's up, girls?

Hello, Uncle.

Hi, Uncle.

There you go.

Exams are over.

Smile, please.

We're going to the club.

And we won't return soon.

Don't do anything I would.

Okay, girls. Cheers!

Guys look, champaign.

You're the crazy one!

You're bloody mad!

Kishan, how does it matter?

We eat in the club every day.

Absolutely not.

Fine then, GO!

And don't bother coming back!

If I could,

I would never come back!

Selfish! Bloody selfish!

Sushh! The girls are here.

This house doesn't belong

to your father.

Just look at him, Cookie.

This is the same guy

who used to come all the way

from Civil Lines to

GK just to say good night.

The girl I used to

come for wasn't MAD.

Marrying you was the

biggest mistake of my life.

This Marriage business is just a

*** hustle.

Guys, please.

This woman has destroyed my life,

'Parents always hide their

mistakes from their kids.'

You want destruction... I'll show.

Ritu.

'Well, at least we try.'

'We fear they might make

the same mistakes we did.'

'And so, we don't even let them

make their own mistakes.'

'By now, my daughter already knows

that life isn't a Fairytale.'

'But it's very important to Dream.'

'I think one should make

mistakes in life.'

'And one should

learn from them as well.'

'Pay for one's own mistakes

and not for someone else's.'

Listen guys, I won't be coming back

home with you guys after the party.

Why?

Actually...

Arjun's parents are in Shimla.

So we... we were thinking...

Shut up!

- Are you serious?

I mean I love him.

And... he's the one.

Oh my my! No wonder!

Looks like she's getting

married before me.

Hope you're carrying protection?

- Arjun!

- Shut up!

Arjun!

Meera give it back!

Till you don't learn

from your mistakes,

'how will you write

your own story?'

Here's to "Live life

on your own terms".

To Prague.

Here I come.

To Bade Papa.

I'm not coming.

To Pune.

Arjun, I'm coming.

I'm coming...

To Pune.

To us, Bros.

I love you guys.

'The biggest mistake of my life...'

'I died before I could say

all this to my daughter, Kalindi.'

"My heart, is a balloon in flight."

"Soaring high in the sky."

"My heart, is a balloon in flight."

"Soaring high in the sky."

"Invited trouble,

wicked and unholy."

"Got trapped ever so slowly."

"Was single, ready to mingle."

"Now have to enter

into holy matrimony."

"Unsteady, untrustworthy..."

Come on Rishabh, lets go back

it's my favorite song.

Kaloo, we need to talk.

Listen, I've been thinking

about this.

Like constantly.

We've been

together for three years now.

Right?

And we're very different people.

I mean... we are poles apart...

And... but...

So Kaloo...

Are you breaking up with me?

- Will you marry me?

What?

- Huh?

Wait... let me do this again.

I lost my momentum.

Yes.

Kalindi Puri will you marry me?

Baby, I'll be right back.

- Huh?

But...

***!

Calm down.

Calm down. Calm down. Calm down.

No, no, not for you, she's inside.

- Cute.

Enjoy the concert.

I'll just...

Calm down, calm down!

Rishabh, I can't marry you.

I mean not you in particular.

I can't marry anyone.

Kaloo...

Stop talking to yourself

like a crazy person.

And don't scratch yourself.

At least come out.

Rishabh, why?

Everything is so perfect.

Why are you doing this?

Wow!

Because I love you?

And... I want to spend the

rest of my life with you.

Isn't that reason enough?

Of course.

I also love you.

But why do we need to get married?

We're already living together.

But for how long Kaloo?

The Indian in me

wants to marry you.

Okay... You know what?

Forget it.

Rishabh,

you actually want to do this?

I mean like really?

- Yes.

Rishabh, everything changes

once you get married... trust me.

Maybe... but I love you.

And that will never change.

Okay.

Okay?

Is that a yes?

Yes.

I'm still scared.

We'll manage!

Your Honor,

how can she demand maintenance?

The facts remain that

she has emptied the entire locker.

And hasn't worked

a day in her life.

Say something.

And apart from creating drama,

she hasn't done much with her life.

She's getting what she deserves.

Zero.

She doesn't deserve a single penny.

"Unsteady, untrustworthy..."

Bloody ***!

I told you,

my office is under renovation.

Please send the

cheque to my house.

Idiot.

- Here.

What's going on with you?

And do you need

to wear these pants?

You look like a lesbo.

I have to mom,

it's the lesbian dress code.

Starting tomorrow,

I'll go to Court in a bikini.

Maybe I'll find a boy then?

Look at this one,

his name is Manish.

Here.

He's an engineer. American degree.

Annual package 2 million.

Have a look.

Okay, you old woman.

Okay.

You were always

first in everything.

Then why are you

behind in this matter?

No.. No..

But sweetheart,

it's a child restrainer.

No! Meera, absolutely not.

I'm not letting you

put our son on a leash.

I'm the one who has

to chase him all day.

Bloody nuisance.

Eating... nuisance...

sleeping... nuisance.

I would've slapped

him if we didn't live in America.

Hey babe.

Kabir's day care

is doing family trees next week.

Oh okay, that's nice.

So, we need pictures

of your family.

Come on.

- No.

Get lost.

Baby, please?

They're your family.

At least talk to them.

You're stubborn.

What? I'm stubborn?

They are stubborn.

Look John,

if they can't accept you

then I'm not interested

in talking to them.

End of discussion.

- Come on Meera.

What a surprise!

How are you doing?

He doesn't need restraining.

Just needs you

to stop spoiling him.

What have I done now?

Well, for starters, he's two

and he's still sleeping with us.

It's not normal.

I refuse to let my child sleep

alone in a room like you Americans.

Alright? Right, baby? Right?

"Was single, ready to mingle."

"Now have to enter

into holy matrimony."

"Unsteady, untrustworthy..."

Hello, Sakshi...

You've been back at your

parents' for quite a while now uh?

Hi, Kunkun Aunty. Hello, Aunty.

Morning, Aunty.

Expecting?

- Nope.

So when are you and Vineet

coming over?

Actually Aunty, he hasn't come.

What?

Is he still in London?

- Yes.

How does he manage alone?

- Just fine.

When is he coming to get you?

- Soon.

Your dress is very nice.

- Umm...

Where are you coming from?

From a meeting. Okay, bye.

Okay, meeting!

- Meeting!

Hi, Vineet!

Hello, Papa?

Good evening.

Or in your case good morning?

Where is Sakshi?

- Sakshi?

Why isn't she answering my phone?

Sakshi is sleeping.

- Vineet.

I've been trying to contact her

since two days,

but haven't been successful.

There, she's up.

- Okay.

Yes, Vineet?

- Sakshi.

Yes.

Why aren't you taking my calls?

You bloody ***!

How dare you call my father!

Listen I have a half

a mind of telling everyone...

what kinda girl you are

and what you spend

the whole day doing!

Who do you think you are?

I'm not even scared of my father...

You piece of ***!

Do what you want.

You bloody...

- Sakshi.

I'm sure she must be exhausted...

with all the work she does.

- Yes.

But Kavita, you don't need

to worry anymore...

she won't need

to work a job after marriage.

Our Manish is very well settled.

Excuse me. Tea...

Aaa... the cat.

Go with her.

Shanti!

I am tired of seeing your

black and blue face every morning.

Stop crying now.

You know, I was gonna be a doctor.

I would've ended up

tending to you every day.

Be grateful, I became a lawyer.

Today you're divorced.

And before that,

I am going to file an FIR.

No, ma'am.

Hi Mahesh.

- Manish.

Hi Manish.

Can I help?

Yeah, sure.

You can take this out.

Thank you.

One second.

But what about us getting married?

That's not happening.

Oh, my God!

What!

Kaloo is getting married!

That flake ball... ***.

I want to hear

every... like every detail.

I want it right now.

Tell me right now.

Kaloo is getting married!

- Mad girl.

Kaloo is getting married.

Oh no!

How am I gonna break

this news to mom?

Sakshi, get on Skype.

Sakshi Soni, it's 4:00pm!

Are you still sleeping?

Congratulations!

Our friend is getting married!

How are you, Mother Dairy?

I've started packing.

Here, I'm packing John's

meals for next ten days.

Congratulations!

I just can't believe it.

How did she agree to this?

- Seriously, man.

Chances of her getting married

in this lifetime were so bleak.

I'm so happy!

I'm so happy for Kalindi.

No, you're not.

Is it that obvious?

Mom is acting like a druggie, after

I told her about Kaloo's wedding.

She is popping calmpose tablets

like they are M&Ms.

"I hope my poor daughter

doesn't die single."

Be happy... at least you're single.

Think about me.

I'll be the only maligned

divorcee at the wedding. - Hey!

Aunties have already

started ***, by the way.

Why is she getting married so soon?

Rishabh just proposed to her.

That idiot didn't even give

time to lose weight.

Nothing's gonna fit.

Looking quite healthy,

Mother Dairy.

Pop a kid and then we'll talk?

- Are you nuts?

It's Sakshi Soni

we're talking about.

She'll get bored in no time and

then you'll have to raise the kid.

No, thank you very much.

One is more than enough.

Kaloo is landing today, right?

Are you guys going to

the airport to pick her up?

Her "in-laws" are.

Shut up!

She said she's going to wrap up all

the family stuff and then meet us.

Guys just hold on...

I'll be there in no time.

We can all meet her together.

Oh god! Bye.

Where are they?

- Look they are here.

Look they are here.

- Come on.

Shishu!

Ok... ok... let's meet him.

There he is.

- Hello, welcome.

Oh, my baby!

- God bless you.

How are you, Shishu?

Lets start the rituals.

Kalindi!

Priest, you go there.

- Welcome, my child.

Priest!

Bless you.

- That's enough.

Here you go.

Sarita...

How are you, Kalindi?

Come here, dear.

No, thank you, Aunty.

- It's okay.

She's so beautiful.

Good catch.

- Papa...

Why are you feeling shy?

No more calling her aunty...

Call her mummy now.

- Ignore Santosh Aunty.

Call me whatever you feel like

I don't force anyone.

This is right.

Your mother is just too much.

I'll go handle her.

Enough Sarita.

You don't have to perform

all the rituals today.

You want her to return

from the airport itself?

Come dear, we'll drop you home.

No, my car is here.

Then we'll escort you to your car.

Come, come, come.

Here comes the bride!

Uncle!

- Welcome, Mrs. Malhotra!

Welcome, my child.

What's with this loud

"West Delhi" jewelry?

Mother-in-law.

- At the airport?

Ya, can you believe it?

- Fantastic.

Listen, you should just

get married at our house?

Rishabh was saying that

they have a farmhouse.

And we can just have all

the functions there.

So I've already short-listed

15-20 card designs.

But we'll take you to Chawri Bazaar

tomorrow anyway.

Oh, this is gonna be so much fun.

Not tomorrow.

I'm meeting dad.

At the club.

For lunch.

Do you guys speak often?

Hmmm... Yeah, I mean on birthdays,

festivals,

special occasions.

I saw him in court last month...

With that tacky CR Park slut.

Cookie!

- Sorry...

Lady of the night.

Kishan and I are so disappointed

that you aren't staying with us.

You should've stayed

with us this time.

Comfortable?

Next time, Paromita.

- Let it be, dear.

She's obviously more comfortable

at her uncle's place.

Okay let me know, if there's

any thing I can do for the wedding.

And I also wanted

you to know that...

We're there for you.

This is Mrs. Puri.

Yes.

Hi! How are you? It's been so long!

So he's a corporate lawyer.

Lives in GK.

This one?

I'm meeting a prospective groom.

Not charging by the hour.

Show me something knee-length.

Lives in GK.

He likes reading, traveling, music.

I think Nirmal is completely...

- Nirmal?

You're gonna have sex

with someone called Nirmal?

Sakshi, I just can't talk to you.

Like Vineet is a very cool name!

No chance! 126 days, not a drag.

By the way, your market

value has really dropped...

after banging your boss.

That's disgusting, Sakshi.

Language.

And I wasn't "banging" him.

We were in a relationship.

Er... Avni, he was married.

With kids.

- I didn't know that.

He's the one who was married.

He's the one who had kids.

But I got branded as

the whore of Tees Hazari!

*** double standards!

Why do I end up

with all the freaks?

So you thought... this time

I'll just let Mummy decide!?

So?

What's wrong with that?

I don't know about you,

but I don't want to be alone.

I want everything.

Marriage, kids, I want it.

I want it all.

Hello, hello, give it to me baby!

Sakshi! Put it back!

- You are a complete package.

Saint on the outside...

slut on the inside.

That horny boss of yours must

have loved you.

Eh... Nirmal?

Avni! Hi.

Nice to meet you.

- So nice to meet you.

Yeah.

Yeah that's...

But let's talk about you.

So you are lawyer at Tees Hazari?

That's really good.

Please!! Have you

ever been to Tees Hazari?

Paan-stained corridors,

pathetic canteen and bathrooms...

quite a sight.

Yeah. Very dirty.

You corporate lawyers have it good.

AC offices, top shot clients,

holidays in Spain.

How do you know

that I went to Spain?

How do you know?

Actually...

Actually, I...

I checked you out on Facebook.

Sorry.

- Excuse me.

Yes, Mamma?

- What're you doing?

You guys are talking?

'Nirmal?'

'You're gonna have sex

with someone called Nirmal?'

No. Just... having dinner. Tell me.

Don't forget to

discuss the contract.

Better safe than sorry.

- No, it's okay.

Okay, I'll be there.

Good night.

Mom.

You're pretty close to you mom huh?

Yeah. Very.

Me too.

Avni, can I ask you something?

Yeah sure, go ahead.

See, I know this may sound

a little unromantic, but...

What do you think about signing

a contract before marriage?

A contract?

You mean like a prenup?

Please don't misunderstand.

Everything is so

complicated these days that...

I mean, I just...

Frankly, It's important

for both of us.

And mamma was also saying that...

Of course not. I'm a lawyer.

I mean, in fact,

I'm a divorce lawyer.

Who will understand

this better than me?

I really like you.

I really do.

'You are invited to bless the

maariage of Rishab and Kalandi.'

Come.

"Teri Maa Ka Phone Meri

Maa Ka Phone Sab Ki Maa Ka.."

"Maa Ka Phone Aaya

Maa Ka Phone Aaya."

Yes, Mother?

- Kunkun Aunty called.

Were you having some

sort of an affair in London?

I am gonna ***

that Kunkun Aunty up. I will...

Vineet's aunt was telling her that.

Mom, please stop listening

to all the *** these aunties say.

Goodbye.

- Bye.

Bloody dog...

Who was it?

No one. Airtel.

Listen...

Had Vineet asked you to

sign a contract before marriage

would you have gone ahead?

With what face?

That cheap ***

I am the one who should

have asked for a contract.

Hmm.

Has Meera landed?

- Yes, just.

Hey Bride-to-be,

lets see that face!

Missed you.

Hi, baby.

- Hello?

Kalindi? It's me, Mamma.

Yes, Aunty!

Actually, Shishu is sleeping.

I needed that ring.

Ring? What ring?

The one he proposed to you with.

He'll give you back

at the engagement function.

Shishu is absolutely useless.

He forgot to tell you.

One more thing,

according to our customs,

we'll present you with a veil.

Keep it carefully, you'll need to

use it for...

the annual marital fast.

- Okay.

You might want to

write all this down.

You'll need rock salt.

Dear, we also believe in...

- Okay, Aunty.

We 'll also be performing

a ceremony to welcome you. - Okay.

Also we worship the Goddess of...

Got all that?

That's all.

Okay, Aunty.

- Okay, dear.

Okay.

Help! Come over ASAP!

Move... you're half blind.

Golguppas... for everyone!

And keep them coming.

Only diet ones for her.

- What the hell! No.

Then she says,

I have so many ideas.

I suggest we do a theme. I suggest

we serve a Bengali fish dish.

I suggest you go *** yourself.

What happened?

So is Paromita going to sit beside

Uncle at the wedding ceremony?

What? No.

Actually, *** it. Let her.

I just don't care anymore.

Cookie Uncle is gonna shoot her.

I'm tired of making

all these decisions.

Check out some of Avni's

potential husbands.

Driver...

Orphan, rapist!

- Stop it.

This one, below poverty line.

Arranged marriage?

I mean Avni seriously!

Inspite of being with Rishabh

for three years, I'm *** scared.

Thank you.

Knock some sense into her.

You had a love marriage.

Had fun?

It didn't even last a year bro.

Guys, I love him.

Remember?

"Papa... Papa I wanna have a

destination wedding, okay?"

Somehow you guys always

end up riding my ass?

Because it's you. Can't help it!

Anyway, I am almost thirty.

You get introduced through friends

or parents, it's the same thing.

Please Avni,

stop quoting your mother.

Let me be! Just let me be... Aunty.

Yes, Aunty?

I just wanted to discuss

the timing for the meet

and greet function tomorrow.

- How much do I have to pay you?

Our priest suggested that you

should come between 8:30 and 9:00.

Okay? I don't like to force you.

But our priest suggested,

since you'll be coming home

for the first time...

it should be

at an auspicious hour. Okay?

No, everything will be very casual.

There is no formality.

Its just our families meeting.

So just wear something

white or red.

Keep this here.

Be careful.

These have to be delivered

at the groom's house.

What happened?

- Avni!

Arjun!

- How are you?

Hi... I... I'm good.

Congratulations.

- What the ***!

Your child?

It... it... it's not mine.

That's Meera's son.

Oh.

How is aunty?

Just as she was... Crazy.

I'm glad you changed your mind.

About?

- Kids.

Yeah. That...

He's very cute.

Dear let's go.

I gotta go. So... See you.

Ok... Bye.

My baby.

So you and Vineet...?

Are you sure?

Can I say I don't know?

Just don't say anything

to Avni, please.

So after this epic disaster of

yours, any marriage advice for me?

Yes. Run *** run!

"Doors are closed,

walls are thick to boost."

"Why do you hesitate..."

"just drop the bass."

- Don't you know how to drive?

Bharat Matrimony has sent the

profiles of three more boys.

I really liked one of them.

He's very nice.

He's tall, fair and has a good job.

Just missing a few

strands hair on his head.

"There's so much to say,

lazy nights are wasting away."

"Make these nights lively,

drop the bass, anyway."

"I'd say no otherwise..."

"Today my inhibitions

have gone for a ride."

"I won't give in without a fight."

"Drop the bass, mate."

All right ladies.

We are officially in

west side of Delhi now.

I should've worn

a traditional dress.

"Love is..."

You should've

brought Keshav Uncle with you.

Malhotras should meet our family,

one fruit basket at a time.

- Don't touch, it's looking good.

Hey, I don't mind!

My look!

Her father will never

stop being stingy.

He brings one bottle with

him and that too some local ***.

Hi, Uncle. Hi, Aunty.

- Hi uncle. Hello ma'am.

Kishan.

Hello, Cookie.

Shall we?

Did you take out

the booze from the car?

Hello uncle.

- After you.

Come. Come.

Aunty!

She is your mother-in-law's

husband's sister's grand daughter.

Kalindi, why don't you

give us a Shishu Junior soon.

Right, Sarita?

Aunty?

Are you alright?

You know,

I always wanted a daughter.

So when Shishu was young,

I loved dressing him up... frocks

clips...

I'm glad you've

come into our lives.

I was in fact going to suggest

the community hall.

Community hall?

Oh God! Take me.

What will people think!?

A farmhouse has a charm of its own.

We were actually hoping for

a destination wedding.

'Destination wedding?'

Can I make it hard?

What?

- The drink.

No, thank you.

Are you from Khalsa College?

Not at all.

KMC?

Actually, Simbi.

Ah... Pune!

I've done my fair share

of dirty dancing there!

I haven't been for a while.

That's too bad.

I'm sure the girls

of Pune must be in despair.

Excuse me, please.

Beautiful.

And our guest

list is pretty big.

Tell me... how are 1000 people.

- 1000 people.

Supposed to fit

in a community hall?

Right.

- You don't understand.

'A thousand guests?'

Can you see this colorful circus

she is marrying into?

As if yours was intimate

private affair!?

Make it stronger.

- Papa?

1000 guests?

We had decided not to have

more than 200 guests.

We've emptied many a bottle

at other people's weddings.

Now when it's our turn to host,

should we...

just show them the finger!?

What sh*t he talks.

Uncle, we wanted to keep it simple.

Kalindi, I've been dreaming about

his wedding since he was a baby.

Besides,

you guys don't even live here.

Mom what's the need

for all this fuss?

Honestly, we'll be happy

to get married in a temple.

Have you been smoking weed?

Get married in a temple.

You tell me.

This is the first wedding

in the family. - Yes.

Don't we need to

maintain relations face society?

Bro, I don't see

your wife anywhere?

No, I'm happily unmarried.

Oh!

Best decision you've made.

What did I ask you?

I'm really sorry, Kaloo.

You know what, I'm just gonna

go down and ask them to *** off.

Wait.

Relax.

Don't pick a fight.

Your mom is so excited.

She'll be hurt.

What other choice do we have?

I know.

It's just a matter of a few days.

We'll manage.

I love you, Kaloo.

You are..

- Sarita.

There they are!

- Oh no.

Santosh Aunty...

- Yes.

Hello.

- And mummy too.

How did you like your room?

Nice, isn't it?

Forget all this and come with me.

I want to show you something.

C'mon, hurry up. Come with me.

Where do you think you're going?

Stay here.

I should stay here.

See? How pretty it is!

You're going to look

like a fairy princess in it.

And Kalindi, you can easily

wear it in Australia as well.

Rishabh! Rishabh!

Go home, I'll join you.

When I got married,

I weighed only 42 kilos.

I wore western clothes,

just like you do.

Kalindi,

did you see their drawing room?

Brother?

- Hmm?

Tell me what you feel about this

for the Sangeet Function?

For you?

For her.

Fantastic!

Let's make her try it on.

"Elders advice."

"Dressing up is a vice."

"Be careful, for you'll set fire."

"If you dress up to aspire,

everyone's gonna admire."

"I'll put on a bright lipstick..."

"Walk in a short skirt, I admit."

"Dance in the club,

like I give a ***."

"If you dress up to aspire,

everyone's gonna admire."

"Dress up all you want today."

"Dance as much as you want today."

"I'm crazy about you,

for you, I'd even keep god at bay."

"Lose your inhibitions..."

"Lose your inhibitions."

"Let go of the traditions."

"Lose your inhibitions.

"Let go of the traditions."

"Lose your inhibitions.

"Let go of the traditions."

Meera, I'm taking

Kabir to the park...

Will be back in half an hour.

- Okay, Aunty.

Absolutely. Please.

Okay. - Kabir,

don't trouble grandma, okay?

Okay, Mamma.

What?

- Grandma! ***, grandma?

You're gonna leave

and then grandma's gonna

make my life miserable.

"Let the world taunt,

we don't care a damn."

"Lose your inhibitions.

Let go of the traditions."

"We will do what

our hearts say we can."

"Lose your inhibitions.

Let go of the traditions."

"Dress up all you want today."

"Dance as much as you want today."

"I'm crazy about you,

for you, I'd even keep god at bay."

"Lose your inhibitions.

Let go of the traditions."

"Lose your inhibitions.

Let go of the traditions."

"Lose your inhibitions.

Let go of the traditions."

"Lose your inhibitions.

Let go of the traditions."

"Lose your inhibitions.

Let go of the traditions."

"Lose your inhibitions..."

Have designers in Delhi

lost their mind?

Everyone in Delhi

has lost their mind. - Seriously.

If you want to afford one of these,

sell off your kidneys.

Bade Papa!

Bade Papa?

- Go.

Do not come to us,

when your husband leaves you.

Go say something.

Go, Meera.

Yes, I am fine.

I... I guess I just

didn't expect to see him.

No John, you don't have to come.

Yeah, I'm sure.

Enough bro!

How much are you

planning on drinking?

You only have one liver.

Here.

- Bye, I love you.

Bye.

Why haven't you told

Bade Papa about Kabir yet?

Why should I?

He hasn't accepted my husband yet.

Not accepting John is still fine.

But honestly, if he says anything

against Kabir... I mean even just,

Are you happy?

Darling who wouldn't

be happy with John's john?

Well done.

- Sick!

Thank the stars that John...

doesn't understand

half the *** you say.

He is learning Hindi these days.

He's been at it with those English

to Hindi dictionaries.

Oh by the way, guess what an orgasm

is called in Hindi, ladies.

Pleasure Peak.

Pleasure WHAT?

Peak, baby... Peak.

Kkkkkkk.

- Shall we?

Let's go find Pleasure Peak.

Let's go to Kaloo's house.

Meera, quit messing around.

Why, aren't you Ms. Fitness?

You're the voluptuous one.

- Avni!

Guys, this is illegal.

Shaanti Niwas now looks

more like a haunted house. - ***

Look at the condition

of this place...

Your dad and Cookie Uncle

should sell it off to some builder.

Ya... and just be done with it.

Wow!

Bro...

Cookie Uncle has hit the jackpot.

I can't believe he has all of this.

He has everything.

Wow, look at this dress guys!

Kaloo, is this dress still here?

Kaloo...

So, what happened exactly?

I know that after aunty passed away

uncle married Paromita...

like immediately.

Ya I ran off to Australia.

After that, dad and Cookie

uncle started fighting.

Yelling... shouting everyday.

She can sell whatever she wants.

No, she cannot.

She will!

- She can't!

One day Dad and Paromita

went out of town.

And then Cookie Uncle...

Wow, he pulled a big one.

They've been fighting

in court ever since.

You guys know me... I have

no interest in getting married.

Then why are you?

For Rishabh... Obviously.

But you know what?

Sometimes I feel like

I'm making a mistake.

Kalindi, you love this guy, right?

Obviously, I love him.

But these new relationships...

and how to deal with them,

what to say to whom and how.

It's so exhausting.

Just Wait,

this is only the beginning.

Vineet's *** of a mother used

to land up every two months.

Sakshi, when will you have kids?

Let's not forget dad

and uncle's cold war.

I wish mom were here.

How am I gonna do this without her?

Oh Kaloo!

We're here for you.

Good! Save me when

I end up killing everyone.

Kaloo, I am a matrimonial lawyer.

I am fed up of explaining

this to you guys.

Aww.

- Aww.

Guys, I have some good news.

Don't overact...

But I've decided

to shortlist Nirmal.

Huh?

Why? Because of Arjun?

Whatever that was 10 years ago.

Arjun is history.

So the fact that

you met him last week...

with his wife and child, has

nothing to do with this obviously?

Not at all.

Listen...

When are you going to

introduce us to your Nirmu?

Nirmu, Nirmu!

*** me, Nirmu!

- Amazing!

Please *** me, Nirmu!

Back off!

[CHANTING PRAYERS]

Goyal, I am gonna *** you up.

Understood?

Just release my shipment, okay?

Hail the Goddess!

Look at that one.

Just... just Look at him!

Why don't I just get married

right now? Priest is also here.

Why this granny bun?

Couldn't you let them loose?

Waiter, where's the bar?

C'mon don't say that!

That's a brand new waistcoat.

Bhandari.

Looking for alcohol?

Can the Bride's parents,

come forward please.

Please proceed.

The Bride's parents.

Mamma, I want more.

God only knows when

you'll give me grandkids.

I don't have to marry for that.

If you carry on like this,

We'll have to freeze your eggs.

Mamma!

No, we're pretty close to it.

We're like ten minutes away

from the beach.

How lovely.

Kishan, I can't believe you

went all the way to Australia...

and didn't see a single beach.

You came to Australia?

Yes, I had some urgent work.

Morning in evening out.

Did you try the sweets, Uncle?

Sarita...

They're right here!

Your mom and dad have left?

Did they eat lunch.

Santosh Aunty,

I have repeatedly told you that

she's not Kalindi's mother.

Stop calling her that.

Then what do I call her?

This is my step.

You do this one.

And then like this.

This one is mine.

He is here now.

What happened?

- Let's go.

Look they are going again.

These guys are too much.

Nirmal.

Hi.

- Hi.

Who is he?

Now who is he?

- There he is. Go.

Hi.

- Hi. Eh... come.

Those are my friends. - Sir,

need money to pay the florist.

Come.

Take this.

- Thank you, sir.

Can I get something for you?

- No, that's okay.

Come, cheers.

What's that behind?

Aunty, you see this grass?

Brand new from Japan.

Not bad, eh.

Yeah, not bad.

- Your "Nirmu" is quite hot.

I say jump him.

Are you mad?

Not before anything's fixed.

What?

I won't even buy a car

without a test drive first.

She has packed her

"goodies" airtight...

no one can even

get a whiff of it.

While they have generously

been distributed...

around her office

just last month.

"My mesmerizing eyes shine bright."

"Many go wayward,

when I come in sight."

"When I groove,

they make their move."

"My hot body on fire

is what they desire."

Wow chubby, I didn't think you'd

be able to pull off these moves.

I thought you couldn't dance

to save your life. - Thank you.

You alcoholic less drinking...

more dancing.

He also choreographed

Saifeena's wedding.

"My mesmerizing eyes shine bright."

"Many go wayward,

when I come in sight."

"When I groove,

they make their move."

"My hot body on fire

is what they desire."

"Don't be lazy, go for a quickie."

"I have hots for you!"

- Yes, mom.

"Hey, the one with

naughty intentions..."

"Come on, let me..."

"Kiss you."

"Come on, let me..."

"Kiss you."

Sarita,

we're bringing home an angel.

I swear.

Hey, come on.

Oh you guys.

Hey kabir.

I really missed you.

Alright. Okay.

Tag... you're it.

Now, Sakshi put the garland

around Kabir.

Shut it off.

This is so depressing.

Sweetheart...

We blew up 35 million

on her wedding.

Let's watch what we paid for...

Let's watch the movie

since we are home.

It will be entertaining.

***.

I'm Mrs. Malhotra.

Kaloo! Hurry up.

We are getting late.

Coming!

Be careful with your dress.

***.

Welcome my dear. Welcome.

- Welcome my dear. Welcome.

I don't see your parents?

Oh, your uncle is here.

Welcome...

That'll do.

Come, dear. Come along.

Yes, we're coming. Please go ahead.

But she'll be all alone.

Ladies and Gentleman, please

proceed to the stage...

to meet and greet Kalindi

and Rishabh

and give them your blessings.

- Oh, my baby!

Not on the stage, Aunty!

Aunty!

Cameraman, photo!

Take it from the center.

From the center.

Hey, Moonga Uncle is here.

Mr. Moonga!

- Come Rishab.

Don't worry, he'll come.

Baby, I'll be right back.

Her father will be here soon.

Papa's still not here.

Probably on his way.

I'll go and check.

Where are the ***

I call my friends?

Nothing but strings today?

Upping your game, eh?

Guys, I'm thinking... I'll

atleast kiss him tonight.

Yeah baby... just jump him!

Yeah?

- Just do it.

There he is.

Go, show him your true colors.

Nirmal...

Hi.

- Hi.

Wow!

You look like...

Wow.

- Thanks.

Where is Rishab?

Have you seen Rishabh anywhere?

He must be around somewhere.

I'll go find him.

Hey, hello.

What are you looking at?

Delete that.

Get me some more.

"Let's groove together tonight

like never before."

Tonight...

It's on.

- And you...?

Double on.

- Amazing.

What should I do?

Nirmu, Nirmu!

Nirmal, I...

Nirmal...

- Avni...

I'm looking for a wife,

not a hookup.

But...

- I'm sorry I wasted your time.

But what have I done?

Please go inside,

you're embarrassing yourself.

Because I tried to kiss you?

You... You...

You... ***.

Who do you think you are?

You're just a glorified clerk!

You think you will reject me?

I reject you and your contract.

Don't create a scene,

everyone's watching.

Do you know what's the

problem with guys like you?

You think you want "a modern,

independent wife."

But the truth is,

you just want a maid...

in the background who nods along.

Mister, you cannot

handle a woman like me. - Listen...

And what kind of a name is Nirmal?

Why are you getting...

- Let me guess.

Your mother must have named you.

You know what it's bloody stupid.

Go back to your mama.

Actually,

go marry your mother only.

Crazy ***!

Bloody mother lover!

Get in.

So you kissed him and he bounced?

For god's sake, keep your

crappy advice to yourself.

I should've never

listened to you guys.

You mean he actually said no.

So basically, he's gay.

Yes.

I made a complete ass of myself.

***!

Give me a drag.

You sure... 126 days...

Smoking is injurious to

your health and your disposition.

Did you notice... she's

here today as well.

I mean she is getting a divorce.

It's no small matter.

The girl has no shame at all.

She drinks straight up.

Really? I've heard

she's into drugs as well.

Shameless.

Poor parents.

Her father used to

prowl around like a proud lion.

Have you seen him

lately... like a pussy cat.

Obviously.

Spent so much on that wedding...

didn't even last six months.

He can't show his face to anyone.

The mother has stopped

stepping out of the house.

She doesn't even come

to the country club.

The daughter on the other hand...

refuses to leave the nightclub.

Vineet's aunt was saying that

she is having an affair.

Really?

- Really?

What a mess.

Forget it. Who cares?

True... true...

why should we bother! - Let's go.

Now let's proceed

towards the stage...

for a dance performance

by Rishabh, Kalindi and friends.

There was a girl, a little crazy...

She had secretly fallen in love.

"All my admirers

offer to drop me home."

"Lost in love, they whisper

sweet nothings at gloam."

"Some are dating

and some are waiting."

"Some are stalking

and some are talking."

"Some just want some lip-locking."

"Don't be lazy, go for a quickie."

"I have hots for you!"

"Hey, the one with

naughty intentions..."

"Come on, let me..."

"What?"

"Kiss you."

"Come let me..."

"Kiss you."

You're hammered.

- No, you're hammered.

How does one get out of here?

Going for a smoke?

No I was going to the bathroom,

but why not?

Okay.

You're looking hot tonight.

- Hey, one large whiskey.

What kind of a person are you?

I don't have time

for your nonsense.

It seems you don't even have

time to call your daughter.

You didn't have time

to meet her in Australia.

And now you *** don't have

time to attend her wedding?

Why does she need me?

Her father is already here.

***!

Guys... tonight we drink like dogs.

Ready?

One... Two...

Three, go!

After the scintillating

performance...

It is time for ring ceremony.

"The moon coyly hides

behind the clouds, my love..."

Said Rishabh to Kalindi

when he saw her.

She is so beautiful.

Yes she is, Grandma.

This is just like a fairytale.

Let him go! Stop it! Let him go!

You scoundrel!

- Listen to me!

On my finger is a ring

and in the ring is a diamond.

Applause.

It's different.

- It's different, isn't it?

This moon, the golden tree...

very different decoration.

In fact different theme only.

It's bigger.

- Show me.

How did this get bigger?

Nothing.

Must be a mix up.

Don't worry about it.

Have you lost your mind

after coming

to Delhi or are you just blind?

We'll get our ring back.

Don't worry.

It's not about the ring, Rishabh.

It's about everything.

Are we getting married

for ourselves, or these people?

This is a non-stop circus.

What the ***is happening man?

Bloody henpecked husband!

I am. Yes, I am.

At least I don't go around

hiding my relationship.

You're a coward.

Bloody coward.

There's a limit to showing off!

Why does everything

has to be so over-the-top!

Big ring,

big necklace, big function!

Tomorrow if we have kids, is

this what we're gonna teach them?

I don't know what's wrong with you.

I think you've lost your mind.

Your family has lost their mind.

At least I have one.

I'm really sorry!

I'm really sorry,

I didn't mean to say that.

I swear...

Oh no! What happened?

Rishabh?

Go and see if he's hurt.

- Shishu?

Call the ambulance.

Are you hurt? Shishu?

- Rishabh?

Shishu?

Are you fine?

- Are you fine?

Rishabh?

- Shishu?

Rishabh?

- Shishu?

'She is making a lot of mistakes.'

Shishu?

- Brother?

Rishabh?

Rishabh, are you alright?

Are you fine?

- Yes.

Where's Kalindi?

'People will say, had I been there

I would have...'

reasoned it out with her,

scolded her.

'But it's her life

and she has to live it.'

'She has to make her own decisions,

Right or wrong'...

'Had I been there,

this is what I'd say.'

He is doing mamma uh, mamma uh...

Oh God, you guys think he'll

remember this?

Of course.

His mother throwing

up like the exorcist...

Poor thing must be in trauma.

This is gonna take

years of therapy.

Meera relax, he's two years old.

Shut up.

Yes, Rishabh?

Where is Kalandi?

- Kalindi?...

Must be in her room.

Her phone is switched off.

Yesterday after the accident...

- What?

What accident?

- Never mind.

Please check her room.

I'm coming over. - What?

What accident? One second.

Oh no God!

Oh you waked.

Good morning, beautiful.

Oh God!

Oh no God!

Hello, Inspector?

Want to file a

missing person's report.

This is Kshitij Puri

Since last night.

I'll hold. Yes, I'll hold.

God! Poor child.

Wonder where she is.

What the *** hell!

There were like

a 1000 people there.

Someone must have seen her while

stuffing their faces with pasta.

Maybe we should start calling

up the public and making inquiries?

Smile please.

Oh, my God!

I think we burnt a

lot of calories last night.

I didn't want to kill my own game

so I didn't say anything.

What happened to your nincompoop?

- Nirmu?

I mean Nirmal?

He had to leave.

- How sweet of him.

Any chance,

there's time for another round?

Consider it morning cardio.

Santosh Aunty?

Is she your...

- Mom.

God!

Hey... at least

give me your number!

Should we check the hospitals?

God! Poor child.

Wonder where she is!

Her rash should've

been my first clue.

This is all my fault, guys.

I'm really sorry.

Rishabh, this is not your fault.

Keshav, I was fighting

on behalf of Kalindi.

Excuse me.

Good morning.

- Listen...

Did you see Kalindi

after the ring ceremony?

Er... I...

I... I didn't make it

for the ring ceremony.

Sorry.

Great.

They won't file

a missing person's report

before 24 hours.

- Excuse me.

Well, well, well.

May we ask where

madam is coming from?

I don't wanna talk about it.

Nirmu?

No, not that one.

Bhandari.

I don't even know his first name.

What's wrong with me?

By the way,

you know who his mother is, right?

So, we'll get you

married on a moon as well...

In a gown.

Just like a fairy princess.

- You are...

I mean the bride has run away...

Why don't you get married instead?

Won't that be great?

Such a good friend you are.

Bro...

I know where Kalindi is.

Cookie Uncle!

Are you okay.

Dad taught me how to ride a bike...

On that road.

We didn't have much

traffic back then.

And under that tree,

in winters, mom used to set up...

a full-on breakfast table.

Although I think dad and Cookie

Uncle used it more like a bar.

Sometimes I feel that Dad and

I were connected only through mom.

Mom gone relationship gone.

Baby...

I'm really sorry for

saying those things to you.

I didn't mean to.

- I know.

But you were right.

I don't have a family.

Don't say that Kaloo.

No, it's true.

Maybe that's why I don't

believe in all this.

But you know what...

I tried really hard.

I swear.

- I know, I know.

Did I ever force

you to do any of this?

But family,

relationships, relatives...

are so important to your family.

And to you.

I don't think I can

fulfill these expectations.

Please don't hate me.

We came this close, huh?

They're coming, together.

Oh god that's a relief.

Yes, thank God.

They looks good together.

Where's Rishabh off to? All good?

It's over.

What do you mean "over"?

- What?

What happened?

Everything was going so well.

I can't do this.

- What do you mean?

He's such a nice guy.

You guys have been

together for so long.

Kalindi...

Don't tell me you're breaking

up with him because of his family.

You know sometimes,

I can't understand you.

What're you thinking man...

Why are you doing this?

Because not everyone is as

desperate as you to get married.

Why're you lashing out at her?

This is all your fault.

My fault?

Just look at yourself Sakshi.

Have you ever used your

head to make any decision in life.

No, I haven't.

- Kaloo.

At least I don't run away

from stuff like you do.

Grow some *** balls, Kalindi.

No need to overanalyze

everything in life, Kalindi.

Really? You're saying that to me?

Listen guys...

enough with this *** fight.

Let's go home, have a couple

of drinks and talk about this.

Why? Didn't you have

enough last night?

Excuse me?

- Anyway... thanks guys.

For being the most

supportive friends in the world.

Because last night, you

didn't leave my side for a second.

Oh boohoo, Kalindi.

Stop thinking about

yourself for two minutes...

Some of us have real problems.

Real problems?

20 million on engagement

50 on the wedding.

That's not a ***

real problem, Sakshi!

That's it! I am going to slap her!

- Kaloo... just calm down.

Kalindi,

drop this damsel-in-distress act.

You're not the first or the last

girl in the world to get married.

Yeah, I know.

But I'm definitely the first to

do it without my *** friends.

Come on Kaloo, please!

- Go! Run back to Australia.

What else can we expect from you?

- Just shut up guys, please.

- Go *** yourself.

I've had enough of her nonsense.

***!

Stupid.

God! We're ***.

Shishu, at least tell us

what happened.

I told you.

I don't want to marry.

Great.

After spending millions, he says...

he doesn't want to get married.

You stay out of it.

Come on tell mamma.

Did you have a fight

with Kalindi?

Hey... fight?

Who doesn't fight in a marriage?

Son, fights are the foundation

marriages are built on.

Try to understand, son...

the invitations have

been offered to the gods, Huh?

Oh God...

- Sorry.

Yeah?

Sir a police officer is

here to meet you.

Ask him to wait.

- Okay, sir.

What do you mean you

don't wanna marry?

Your entire gang is

completely insane.

One eloped to get married...

The other is getting divorced.

And the third one called

off a perfect wedding.

I'm sure they are the ones

who influenced you against Nirmal.

Can you please stop bitching

about my friends.

You're always poking

your nose into my life.

At least stay out of theirs.

I mean...

Nirmal is such a nice boy.

Well-educated, smart...

But his CV fails to mention

that he's an ***.

God, mom.

- Language.

"We had soared,

only to fall down."

"Yet we drowned our

sorrows with a smile."

"We know everyrthing."

"It's a punishment

for the miunderstanding."

Have you seen Sakshi's message?

On the group.

Oh, my God!

- As they say, when fate *** you

its usually up the ***.

And these past few days,

we've been getting humped and how.

At least we were together.

So what if the wedding

is called off?

We can still enjoy the honeymoon.

What the ***!

Before we get back

to our *** lives again.

I want to spend a few days...

with my bros.

And so... Swadikaa, ***!

'Cos we're going to Phuket!

Is she mad?

- Obviously.

It's Sakshi Soni.

She can't find peace without

blowing up daddy's money.

Remember the whole baking phase?

"Papa, papa, I wanna go to Paris."

Like Delhi just doesn't cut it.

"Brothers,

we'll walk a new path together."

"Brothers,

we'll make a new life together."

"Brothers,

we'll walk a new path together."

"Brothers,

we'll make a new life together."

'The person you are trying

to reach is currently unavailable.'

Are you coming out or

should I come in?

Coming!

- Come on.

Are you crazy!

- You're hot, man!

Oh my God.

- So sexy!

Take it off!

Everyone's naked in Thailand.

"Everyone's life is messy."

"So live your dreams

don't be fussy."

"It's time to seize

the moment, buddy."

"Our friendship's

deep as it can be."

"Bro, I guess we came

even compete with the sea."

"I'll always feel assured

when you are with me."

"Intentions as weird

as they can be."

"As wild as you and me."

"Now don't be a cry baby."

"As long as you have your

friends to give you company."

"Brothers,

we'll walk a new path together."

"Brothers,

we'll make a new life together."

I love him.

Carefully.

Kaloo, I'm eating your share.

- Yes.

You want boom boom?

I know,

I know you want boom boom?

Yeah, yeah, she wants.

Come back, come back.

It's written all over your face.

I heard someone went all boom

boom at the dance function.

What? You slept with him?

And that too at

Santosh Aunty's house? - Yuck!

You were right, Kalindi.

I have become so desperate.

And for what

to become someone's wife.

I mean no matter how much you

study, graduation, post graduation.

Even if you buy

your own house... car.

But you've achieved nothing until

you become someone's goddamn wife.

Twenty-first century,

my ***.

Avni, language.

I mean you've come of age,

get married.

You're married, have a kid.

Oh you've got one, have another.

What is this pressure, man?

How are people doing this?

I've lost my mind.

I can't believe I slept

with that shady Bhandari!

You know he's a shopkeeper, dude?

I'm pretty sure he hasn't

even graduated from high school.

Okay, so now one needs

a degree to bang you?

So sick, man...

you know what I mean.

Okay, fine. But as it turns out,

the boy is rather generous.

How?

Apparently, madam took a trip to

Pleasure Peak that night.

Multiple trips, dude.

- That's great.

Oh multiple.

- Oh multiple.

That's lovely bro.

"Brothers,

we'll walk a new path together."

"Brothers,

we'll make a new life together."

Sakshi Soni.

By sponsoring Air

India business class trips,

do you realize

you're spoiling us?

Nice flight, uh?

Always on time.

"What happened,

why it happened, forget it."

"Just forget it."

"All these are things

are pointless, meaningless."

"With open arms you

should welcome happiness."

"This is what life is."

"A little bitter,

a little sweet, regardless."

Bhandu...

Shag me now, Bhandu!

Sakshi Soni, I will kill you.

You should be happy, ***.

At least you're getting some.

Pleasure Peak is the damn

reason I'm getting divorced.

Okay guys, I was wrong.

You were right.

I shouldn't have

rushed into marriage.

Vineet was quite shady.

We barely knew each other.

And by the time we did,

we realized we don't

like each other very much.

So basically epic fights.

Instead of sitting on your ass

the whole day,

why don't you get

a *** job, Sakshi?

I haven't got a *** job

because I'm too busy cooking

for you everday!

Just a second.

Neha, I'll call you.

Sakshi! Sakshi... how dare you?

Sakshi, open the door!

Hmm... thanks.

- Not bad.

Vineet, you coming?

- Yeah.

Sakshi, my work friends are here.

- Yes.

Can you look a little presentable!?

You're looking worse than a maid.

Obviously,

it affected our sex life.

I mean... zero.

So basically, he cheated on you?

- No!

One day after an epic fight

like below the belt,

I told him I'm

going back to India.

So, he came home

early from work.

Sakshi...

You cheated on him.

Not technically.

You're home early today?

What?

You mean like...

Ménage à moi?

So basically, after the fight

you were like I'm bored

there's nothing better to do.

So you know what,

let me jerk off.

It had been three months, dude!

And honestly I think the fight

turned me on a little.

Do your parents know?

- Are you nuts?

How can I share "this"?

Delhi aunties are

already hounding me.

If this is out,

I'll be declared a porn star.

Hello, have you ever

been to a family court?

It gets very ugly.

That's why I think I should give

into that *** demands

and put an end to this nuisance.

Is he blackmailing you?

I guess, kind of.

How much?

Five?

Hundred thousand?

Million!

Your bill.

You want money?

Let's spilt it.

Give it to me.

You pauper.

- You pay, Kalindi.

Sakshi Soni, listen to me now,

cause last time you had not.

If you give even a single

penny to that *** Vineet...

I'll be your worst enemy.

Sign the divorce papers.

Settlement...

I'll settle him.

Nobody calls my best friend a maid.

***.

Vineet turned out to

be worse than expected.

Not everyone is as lucky as you,

***.

I haven't had sex in a year.

What?

- Drought famine.

But what about John's john...

Lies.

Obviously, I love my son.

He's the apple of my eye,

my heart, my soul...

But that ***

came out... this big.

And he was stuck in

there for like 12 hours.

Like really stuck in there...

You know then they have to

take the suction pump and then...

Meera, please please please!

Please!

I want to have children some day.

Then you should know this.

No, I don't want to know this.

On top of that,

I look like a cow.

My poor John.

Baby, you are still sexy.

Thank you.

Come on.

Means what?

- Stop body shaming.

No, you should eat.

Some more crab?

Sakshi...

- Eat away.

I'm not sharing. Nonsense.

"Brothers,

we'll walk a new path together."

Come on, Kaloo!

"Brothers,

we'll make a new life together."

"Brothers,

we'll walk a new path together."

"Brothers,

we'll make a new life together."

I can't help it.

But I miss you.

Hey, you're back.

Welcome back honey!

How was the holiday?

Can I talk to you

guys for a minute?

Hey, where is everybody?

- Hi!

Hey, Kalindi! Yeah, the boy's

gonna be out till late tonight.

- Hey babe.

- Hello!

Hold me.

Hello!

I was furious so

I got a little drunk.

At home, all alone I was sort

of using this instrument and...

Ma...

- Hmm?

I've always done whatever

you've asked of me.

But this arranged marriage

stuff I just can't do it.

I really tried.

But I am what I am.

I don't think I can change.

I also am, what I am.

I'll keep nagging you.

Oh, my God.

Oh, I love you old woman!

Who the hell are you calling old!?

Today I'll not leave you.

Swadikaa.

You're truly my daughter.

Had you told me sooner,

I would've sorted him out.

Good morning, Cookie Uncle.

Ah, the runaway bride has returned.

So?

Have you spoken to Rishabh?

No.

Why?

- So you don't know?

What?

Your father-in-law

is making headlines.

We got off easy.

Bank fraud of 20 million.

- What do you mean?

It means he's behind bars,

doing time.

Rishabh!

Tell me something, Uncle.

Why were mom and dad together?

Because of me, right?

Of course not.

They loved each other.

And I can't think

of a better reason.

Look, whatever they were,

however they were...

they loved you a lot.

I guess marriage

just isn't in my DNA.

Hey.

Why do you think that?

You are neither crazy like your

mom nor stubborn like your dad.

Love and fights always

go hand-in-hand.

I mean look at Keshav and I.

Darling.

Please don't base

your life's decisions...

on the their

stupid mistakes.

Rishabh!

Are you okay?

Now I am.

Come.

You must have some contacts, dude!

Hi, Kaloo.

***.

What?

Can you at least

sneak in some booze.

Someone has cast

an evil eye upon us.

What have we ever done to anyone.

That's what I fail to understand.

Only a couple of bounced cheques

what's the big deal?

Oh God!

Why are you doing this to us?

Because God never asked

you to hire Russian dancers.

I told you,

his bail has been issued.

I don't understand what will you get

by keeping an old man behind bars.

How can we let him go, madam?

We have to follow the law.

Don't try to teach me the law.

This is the copy of it.

You will soon get the original.

You are harassing

the family for no reason.

Well done, Tiger!

You totally devoured them!

You are a force to reckon with.

- So, I...

- I was wondering..

Go ahead.

I was trying to

say that whatever...

Happened that night...

Whatever happened that night...

It wasn't me.

It was just me dealing

with some issues.

Well I didn't mind at all.

And you also looked quite pleased.

Oh well, you forgot

something at my place.

I thought I should

keep it but then..

Bhandari!

Listen...

Listen! Listen! Listen!

I have a "case" pending

since quite a few days.

Help me, please?

I help people get divorced.

Are you married?

Just waiting for you to say yes.

Wait, wait, wait.

Let me drop you home.

I've booked an Uber.

A loan of 20 million!

A loan of 20 million!!

Earlier I thought

only my mother is crazy.

But my father..

Food from Italy..

He *** wants to feed

people Italian food!

Even if he has to

eat the prison food.

You know

you were absolutely right.

Everything was just perfect.

I *** up everything

by proposing to you.

I really wish we could go back.

Me too.

When are you going back?

Day after tomorrow.

What about you?

I don't think I'm

going back to Australia.

Honestly, I don't know how long

It'll take me to sort all this out.

Two years, five years.

Luckily the house lease

is in your name so...

you won't have

to face any problems.

Get pest control

done after you go back.

"Now that we have come together,

why don't you stay?"

"A few promises fulfilled,

a few promises left to keep."

"What can I say?"

"A few dreams shall be fulfilled

and a few forever unfulfilled."

"What can I say?"

"Please come back."

"You don't need to think so hard."

"Please come back."

"You don't need to think so hard."

"Let's dwell in each other's

hearts, even if only for a while."

"Let's just live and

not bother about the trials."

"Let's recourse the wandered

promise to the right path."

"Let's rekindle hope..."

Kalindi, your ticket...

Where's Kalindi?

She's gone to the house one

last time, before she leaves.

"Please come back.."

What a disastrous

non-wedding it is!

The groom's selling his house.

The bride's leaving her house,

so pathetic!

"There will be many evenings

which will come to a standstill."

"There will be many conversations

without any frills."

"We'll act stubborn over

a small issue..."

"it'll be a long night

I understand."

"We'll still manage to

love each other in the end."

Poor Kaloo.

She's going back

in such bad shape.

All alone!

Does her dad even

know what happened?

Only if he could spare

time from philandering.

I feel so helpless.

I really miss Ritu Aunty.

Seriously, man.

She had balls.

None of this would happen,

if she were here.

All the uncles, Malhotras..

She would have taught

them all a lesson!

"You were right there.."

"Yet you were unavailable

and I was missing."

"Now that we've come together,

why don't you stay?"

Where are you going?

- To teach them a lesson.

Uncle!

No, no, no!

I'll readily dance at the signal

with the lepers, naked.

But I will never

talk to that scoundrel.

Never!

See!

The smaller the brain

the bigger the ego!

It's been four years.

The only people benefiting

are the lawyers.

And who is suffering?

Kalindi.

Uncle!

Are you listening to me?

How can you be so selfish?

After aunty passed away,

instead of supporting her

all of you have started

throwing tantrums.

I have always made Kaloo..

And that day, during the function

you guys crossed all limits.

In front of so many people,

you started fighting like loafers!

Come on, Uncle!

End this now.

Seriously, Cookie.

Don't you understand

what Kalindi is going through?

For a change, instead of yourself

think about her.

Kalindi is going back tonight.

Do you want her to never come back?

Hello? Hi Krishna Uncle,

Sakshi here.

Do you have a minute?

Good.

Because Cookie Uncle

wants to talk to you.

One sec.

Come on, Uncle.

Uncle!

- Come on.

Yes, Krishna.

You know I never understood

why did you have to vacate

the house after our fight.

Honestly speaking...

I wasn't angry at Paromita.

I was angry because I felt that..

Because of her.

Kalindi left us.

And you two left me.

Cookie I've supported

all your choices and decisions.

Always.

I'm sorry, bro.

What's this?

Property papers of Shanti Niwas.

Is this your idea?

Ever since childhood, have

you done anything in moderation?

Crazy fool.

Where's uncle?

I'll miss my damn flight!

Uncle, I thought you forgot!

- Sorry, kiddo.

There was something pending that

I should've taken care of long ago.

Papa?

What's going on?

The epic battle is over!

No more villains.

My dear, I can't bring back

the time lost.

But I can at least try

to make our future better.

Cookie.

Our gift to you.

Papers of the house?

Uncle..

I can't take this.

The house always was

and is, yours.

I really missed you.

You know...

whenever Ritu and I used to fight

she used to go and paint.

That's why it looked more

of a museum than a house.

True.

We fought a lot, didn't we?

Like cats and dogs.

Really?

Whatever we were,

however we were...

we were family.

I've made a lot of mistakes.

Being angry, being stubborn.

Maybe I'm just as stubborn.

Maybe.

But you are smarter than me,

Kalindi.

I'm sure you'll

take the right decision.

Rishabh is a very nice guy.

Your mummy would have loved him.

You're back.

No, still on the way.

Lawyer sent these papers for you

to sign and send them back.

Here.

Mohan, get me food.

Shishu?

Why are you eating downstairs?

You should go and eat upstairs.

You are the one who insists

on eating in the dining room.

Hey, don't argue just go.

Shishu, listen..

I had asked the priest

to pray specially.

Have the offering.

Everything will be fine.

Okay?

Go now. Go!

Everything's okay!

Hi!

Hi Kaloo.

Look!

It's still very scary for me...

but I still want to do it.

'Cause not doing

it is even scarier.

Rishabh Malhotra...

will you marry me?

Oh God!

Just a minute.

Baby, I'll be right back.

Is it too late, Rishabh?

I had gone looking for our ring.

Baby, this all this...

it's not going to be easy.

Family never is!

Sarita!

There they are!

Going to be bride,

show us your beautiful face!!

Wow.

Kaloo!

Looking so beautiful.

- Looking so gorgeous.

What's your name, son?

Kabir Singh Stinson.

What's your name?

Hey, my name is also Kabir Singh.

Okay, I've brought

something for all of you.

What?

- Something small.

Mom had four of these,

I think each of us should keep one.

But..

Kalindi, how can we..

She would've wanted us to have it.

It's beautiful.

Welcome, welcome!

Welcome.

- I'll have to attend this call.

Badé Papa!

You look just like Ritu!

Papa!

You know the tailor

had made this skirt,

two inches longer.

Ritu kept tripping on it.

I couldn't understand

a thing when she left us.

What should I do?

Where should I go?

And I'm really sorry my dear..

I left you all alone

after she passed away.

I'm really sorry.

I was never alone, Papa.

Where are you going?

- There is your car.

Damn... damn.

I called him. He was happy to come.

Hi, Aunty. Hello, Aunty.

You're looking nice.

- Hello, Aunty.

Nice dress.

I thought I should share

the good news with you personally.

Actually,

my divorce just got finalized.

You see, my dog of a husband

caught me *** myself.

You know, right? Self-service?

And by the way, as we are

on the topic of sex and drugs..

Aunty, I should tell

you that your son.

Is the most famous

coke dealer of Green Park.

And his biggest client

is your daughter Aunty.

And they are also having an affair.

Can't help it.

Coke's too expensive these days.

Anyway, who cares!

You didn't want to write my name?

Hi, Bhandari.

Hello, beautiful.

You know,

I dreamed about you last night.

Did I have my clothes on?

- Unfortunately yes.

Bye, Bhandari.

- Listen.

See you downstairs.

What about your mobile number?

- Didn't get it in your dreams?

'Kalandi and her weird

and eccentric Bros...'

have made it so far.

'They had each other's back

They understood each other.'

'They will make mistakes.'

'And they will learn

from these mistakes.'

'They will write

their own stories..'

'which will be better than

fairytales that give false hope.'

'Their stories will

have a new twist every day.'

'And they will have a

new happy ending every day.'

Hello?

- Hello, beautiful.

Bhandari..

How did you get my number?

Where there is a

will there is a way...

I know it's a cliché.

Look towards your right.

Your mom gave me your number.

Listen, Bhandari.

I have no intentions

of getting married.

I'm not running behind

you with a ring either.

How about a date?

Fine, I'll think about it.

Call me tomorrow.

Okay, done.

Hey listen..

What's your first name?

Will tell you tomorrow,

on our date.

"Brothers... Brothers."

"Hide the clocks, lock the doors."

"Looking at the time

isn't allowed no more."

"Hide the clocks, lock the doors."

"Looking at the time

isn't allowed no more."

"We'll rock the dance floor as

planned, when no one gives a damn!"

"We'll rock the dance floor as

planned, when no one gives a damn!"

"We'll rock the dance

floor as planned."

"Manali stuff is getting me high."

"I take left when I'm

supposed to go right."

"I take left.. when

I'm supposed to go right."

"We'll rock the dance floor tonight

When we fly like a kite."

"We'll rock the dance floor

tonight.. When we fly like a kite."

"Give me some heavy now."

"Harder."

"Mesmerize with your eyes, unleash

your desire hidden inside."

"And rock the dance floor."

"Use the excuse of the night,

let the love soar with delight."

"And rock the dance floor."

"This is what everyone

in India also understands."

"We'll rock the dance floor as

planned, when no one gives a damn!"

"We'll rock the dance floor as

planned, when no one gives a damn!"

"We'll rock the dance

floor as planned.."

"After so many Tinder swipe,

I got the one who is my Mr. Right."

"The one who is my Mr. Right."

I got the one who is my Mr. Right."

"We'll rock the dance floor tight..

When we hookup tonight!"

"We'll rock the dance floor tight

When we hookup tonight!"

"Give me some heavy now."

"Harder."

"We'll rock the dance floor."

"We'll rock the dance floor.."

"Hide the clocks, lock the doors."

"Looking at the time

isn't allowed no more."

"Looking at the time

isn't allowed no more."

"We'll rock the dance floor as

planned, when no one gives a damn!"

"We'll rock the dance

floor as planned."

"We'll rock the dance

floor as planned."

"We'll rock the dance

floor as planned."

"Let me whisper a

true feeling of mine."

"I forget the world

when I see you smile."

"Let me know I should

it explain to you how."

"You should leave the

one who is with you now."

"Why so much of attitude,

I don't like it."

"You ask too many questions,

I'm not paying attention to it."

"Tell me how much more

do I need to praise you?"

"Tell me how much more

do I need to praise you?"

"Tell me how much more

do I need to praise you?"

"Tell me how much more

do I need to praise you?"

"Baby, my mind, you blow."

"Others shine, you glow."

"You wear jeans so tight,

just like my flow."

"Baby, goddamn,

you're 100, others average."

"Others are savage,

baby you are raw."

"I like everything about

you which others think is a flaw."

"Baby, let's go right now."

"Don't make wait anyhow."

"Your waist is lean,

your words are so mean."

"You're on dieting, so

attitude's off the menu too now."

"Tell me how much more

do I need to praise you?"

"Tell me how much more

do I need to praise you?"

"Tell me how much more

do I need to praise you?"

"Tell me how much more

do I need to praise you?"

"Why don't you get me?"

"Why do you fight me?"

"You look beautiful,

but your nature is deceitful."

"You don't get it,

I have told you so many times."

"Come with me."

"Why so much of attitude,

I don't like it."

"You ask too many questions,

I'm not paying attention to it."

"Tell me how much more

do I need to praise you?"

"Tell me how much more

do I need to praise you?"

"Tell me how much more

do I need to praise you?"

"Tell me how much more

do I need to praise you?"

"Why so much of attitude,

I don't like it."

"You ask too many questions,

I'm not paying attention to it."

"Tell me how much more

do I need to praise you?"

"Tell me how much more

do I need to praise you?"

"Tell me how much more

do I need to praise you?"

"Tell me how much more

do I need to praise you?"

"Baby, my mind, you blow."

"Others shine, you glow."

"You wear jeans so tight,

just like my flow."

"Baby, goddamn,

you're 100, others average."

"Others are savage,

baby you are raw."

"I like everything about

you which others think is a flaw."

"Baby, let's go right now."

"Don't make wait anyhow."

"Your waist is lean,

your words are so mean."

"You're on dieting, so

attitude's off the menu too now."

"Tell me how much more

do I need to praise you?"

"Tell me how much more

do I need to praise you?"

"Tell me how much more

do I need to praise you?"

"Tell me how much more

do I need to praise you?"

Tyler Perry's Acrimony (2018) - full transcript