Two Thumbs Up (2015) - full transcript

Big F, who's just gotten out of prison, wastes no time in tracking down his old comrades, picking up bowling alley employee Crazy B, back-alley hairstylist Johnny T and mechanic East L in quick succession. As it turns out, Big F wants to rob a truck transporting dirty money across the Mainland-Hong Kong border, and to do that, the gang's got to pose as police officers. On the day of the heist, the men set off in their minibus-turned-police-vehicle dressed as cops and armed with BB guns. What they don't know is that another group of criminals also has its sights set on the truck and those people have AK-47s.

Organizers say that 300,000 attended

today's protests against the government,

but police numbers were at 50,000.

A government spokesman said

an ad hoc committee has been formed...

KWUN TONG

...but with no results yet.

Hong Kongers are…

...a month after the Big Roach Disaster…

In a reconstruction project in Kwun Tong,

an illegal roach farm

was accidentally destroyed.

TAIPING PRISON

266 KM NORTH OF KUALA LUMPUR

Countless roaches have infested Hong Kong

for the last month,

but the government can't help.

The incident has

attracted international attention.

but roaches multiply faster

than they can be killed.

The roaches have paralyzed

financial operations.

Hong Kong is finished.

It's not up to you to say

if Hong Kong is finished.

The city lost two billion dollars

in a few hours.

Hong Kong really is finished.

- What does that mean?

- It's English. Don't you know that?

Too powerful to have friends.

Too powerful for words.

What do you mean,

"too powerful for words"?

Assault, or robbery?

It still fits perfectly.

I haven't changed at all.

I still have a model's physique.

You haven't changed,

but the whole world has changed.

You don't know the world

and it doesn't know you.

You only know yourself!

EXIT

Is that necessary? Escorted in here,

and now escorted out?

Not everyone can take this step!

And it is not "To Jump Up."

- It should be "Two Thumbs Up."

- Let me tell you...

if I come back again, I'm a rotten egg.

No longer is there officer 39633

in this world. There is only me, Lucifer.

You can call me Big F.

SIXTEEN MONTHS AGO

Why does this look so familiar?

Are you from Hong Kong?

It's an emergency unit vehicle, EU.

The old ones are repurposed

as school buses.

The kids wore out the left door.

That's 2,000 dollars.

There's a market for them.

Think about it back in Hong Kong.

Have I come out of one door

just to open another?

Of course! To do a major job.

Two thumbs up!

PRISON COMMANDER

THE ALLEY SOUTH OF 266 BOUNDARY STREET

NIGHTCLUB BACK ALLEY HAIR SALON

Look at this.

Great! it's the same as before.

You see?

Just a bit younger.

Ready, Big F.

Come again.

Hello, Crazy B? Big F is back.

He didn't pay for his blow-dry.

- I'm so unlucky.

- It's only about 100 dollars.

You can't ask him for that!

Don't treat your buddies like dirt!

MINIBUS

A citizen has called in a lead.

Roach farm boss BK Cheung has been found

in Luk Keng.

It was he who made Hong Kong

a city of roaches.

Please call the police

if you see BK Cheung.

Okay! I'll pay for the last two tickets!

It's full. Let's go!

NO CHANGE GIVEN

DEPARTS WHEN FULL

- Hello, Crazy B?

- Yes?

Did you know Big F is back?

He's finally back. He paid for two people.

That's just a few coins.

- Give him his change!

- Okay.

- Don't treat your buddies like dirt!

- I'm leaving.

We're full. Let's go!

NGAU TAM MEI, NORTHEASTERN YUEN LONG

OCTOBER 31ST, HALLOWEEN

The EU after us

is not a real police vehicle.

The people shooting at us

are also not cops.

I've never seen a cop shoot an AK-47.

Ours is also not a real EU.

It's a Toyota Coaster, 2003 model

with over 500,000 km.

For ten years, its route has been

Kwun Tong Road,

Prince Edward Road West,

Argyle Street, Sai Yee Street.

It's a Kwun Tong Mong Kok red van.

Sixteen minutes ago,

when we attempted a robbery in our EU,

we ran into another gang

with the same idea.

Identical robbery tactics.

We never imagined

that after a few kilometers,

this minibus would think it was a real EU

and we would think we were real cops.

REAL COPS

Big F...

- Big F, I've waited 16 years for you--

- Shut up! Listen to me!

I've been refining a plan for 16 years.

A decades-old plan? It will be outdated.

Marvelous ideas are never outdated.

Then we'll see

if anyone else has come up with it.

It's not easy to come up

with a marvelous idea.

We disguise ourselves as cops

for a robbery.

None of us here looks like a cop.

How many real cops look like cops?

Those are the real cops.

Drive an Emergency Unit, wear a uniform.

Anyone will think you're a cop.

I think he's right.

But where can we get an EU?

I know where to buy one.

Where you can buy one, you can sell one.

- You can steal one there.

- So we steal one. What do we rob?

Banks, gas stations, goldsmiths,

convenience stores,

whatever you like.

People use credit cards, debit cards

and cash cards.

No one uses cash!

CCTV cameras are everywhere!

- You can't get shit!

- What's wrong with you, Crazy B?

We're robbers. We have to rob!

No knife? Find a brick, rob something,

buy an AK, trade up to a bazooka.

If you're gonna eat shit,

make it the smelliest.

If you' re gonna rob,

make it the biggest place. Two thumbs up!

We get it, you're powerful!

Everyone else eats food and shits poop.

It's powerful to eat poop and shit food.

If you're so powerful,

why don't you go eat shit?

Are you in this or not?

If you're not, we'll go by ourselves.

Sit down.

- What's wrong?

- What?

Give it back! It's very expensive.

You still owe me for your last blow-dry!

I'll pay when we've stolen money.

I'll even pay for haircuts forever, okay?

I'm on your side right now!

We are robbers. It is right that we rob.

But we must share the same goal

from the start, do you understand?

Are we all here? If we're full, let's go.

Call me when you have everyone.

You have reached the messaging service.

Please leave a message after the beep.

We will notify the recipient

as soon as possible.

Scumbag! Where did you go? Scumbag!

What weapons do you have? Jets? Cannons?

You were gone for days.

You treat your buddies like dirt.

Crazy B, bad news!

You were right not to come.

Big F left on the speedboat.

But he said

you treat your buddies like dirt.

Crazy B, where are you?

Where were you? It all went bad!

MISSED CALLS

Big F had to leave town.

He said you treat your buddies like dirt.

BIG F, ANSWER?

Treat your buddies like dirt…

Treat your buddies like dirt…

I didn't! I didn't!

- Treat your buddies like dirt…

- I didn't!

Those scumbags locked me up for days!

I didn't treat my buddies like dirt.

Bowling alley.

Bad daughter.

You don't even greet your father.

Calling to check I'm at work?

It's been two weeks and seven days.

The boss is so friendly to me.

You're calling each other buddies,

Mr. Chou?

That's good!

I don't want to find you another job.

We have to steal corpses.

Some people remove corpses’ innards,

stuff money in them...

and fill the corpse with money.

They use these cross-border services

to bring dirty money into Hong Kong.

CROSS- BORDER CORPSE TRANSPORTATION

Why? The cost of living is too high

in Hong Kong.

Many move back to their hometowns,

but are buried in Hong Kong.

So, lots of bodies need to be shipped.

With a system you can hide anything.

Crematoriums use this to move money.

So, now we've gone beyond robbery.

We're not just doing this for money...

but to uphold justice!

If we don't rob those scumbags,

we are not doing justice to heaven

nor to our ancestors.

They will be buried

with an incomplete corpse! Imagine!

If they did this to your mother,

your father, your brother,

wouldn't you do something about it?

Back in the day, you were a champion

car racer nicknamed "Never looking back."

Now you drive a minibus

called "Not starting up."

- It's been so long, you must be used--

- Used to what?

Don't get used to it!

Why must four of us share a lane?

We should each take up four lanes!

- And you--

- What about me? I'm okay.

I style masseuses' hair in the alley.

What's wrong with that?

You're cutting hair for streetwalkers.

No wonder your girlfriend dumped you.

We should do a major job.

Is that okay or not? Okay?

Well, Crazy B?

Crazy B, how about what you owe me?

How will you pay me back what you owe me?

Excuse me, gentlemen. It's closing time!

Please pay your tab.

Thanks.

It's 473 dollars, 50 cents.

You have to chip in a few hundred bucks.

Here's mine.

- Shall I treat you?

- You're too kind. I'll pay for this.

- Take it off my paycheck.

- In your dreams.

- Have you worked here a month yet?

- Must you talk like that?

I treat you as an elder brother.

You treat my buddies like dirt.

If these are your buddies,

then you deserve to be treated like dirt.

I quit!

The sooner I die,

the sooner I'll be reincarnated.

Steal that vehicle!

The sooner we work,

the sooner we'll enjoy the rewards.

That is a police car graveyard.

All the old, dead EUs are brought here.

Those police transport vehicles

are all wrong.

The Traffic Department classifies vehicles

with H-beams under the chassis as trucks,

not passenger vehicles.

OUT OF SERVICE

In the past,

all police vehicles were illegal.

You never would have thought

the cops would be breaking the law.

HONG KONG WING WAH

Really? You want to steal these?

The cops must keep records.

I don't want to steal these.

I just brought you to see them.

We've seen them,

and all we can do is see them. Now what?

You might use more than your eyes

to see things.

Robbers must have imagination.

See.

Do you see it now?

No guns? Make one.

No vehicle? Soup one up!

We used to make AKs out of revolvers.

Now, we transform a minibus into an EU.

This is our 16-seater EU.

It sounds cool...

but I don't know why it feels stupid.

Looking upside down at an upside down

Hong Kong, it should look right.

But it seems strange!

This fully-equipped, 7,800kg EU

fell down from a 16-meter flyover

and flipped 180 degrees!

My number is 39633.

My name is Tsui On Leung.

Today is my first day back as 39633

and in my uniform again.

Sixteen weeks ago, I was undercover in

Operation "Lost in Time"

aimed at gangsters controlling

the "Tin- Tong line,"

the minibus line from

Tin Shui Wai to Kwun Tong.

Out of uniform,

I did not recognize myself.

I didn't know

if I was a cop or a bus driver.

Should I catch thieves with a gun

or drive passengers?

I couldn't take it,

and went back to the station.

A gun, a wok...

and a minibus.

Which do you think

can help you catch thieves?

You don't have to rely on a uniform.

It's not important what you wear.

He is my elder brother.

His undercover mission went on

for three and then another three years.

He thinks you can catch thieves

whatever you wear.

My police cap is gone! I never thought

that by looking for the cap,

I would finally understand, 16 days later,

that one can look at the world

upside down.

Heroes have more than one angle.

They have 360 degrees!

DOUBLE STAR JUNKYARD

- Where is the flipped-over EU?

- It was cleared by the vehicle pound

and written off as a total loss.

It's waiting to be junked.

Have you seen my police cap?

My police cap is caught in the door.

No.

- Fill out the form. Apply for a new one.

- No, that cap is important to me.

My police cap and the door are gone.

This isn't the only one

missing a side door.

That one is missing a back door.

Thirty-two parts have been dragged

across here.

Six vehicles are missing doors,

some are missing hoods, bumpers,

rearview mirror, wipers,

mud guard, window grille,

head and tail lights, siren lights…

Put all these parts together

and you get a complete EU vehicle.

They're stealing parts to make an EU!

Who are these people?

What do they want to do?

Criminals leave clues at the scene,

like you leave your smell on your clothes.

The crime scene can speak.

It tells me there were four people.

Drawer, glove compartment, visor.

All 40 compartments in 20 EUs

have been opened.

He takes every opportunity to find money.

He is greedy. He'll do anything for money.

Let's call this suspect "A".

"A" is the arrogant type of criminal.

My police cap is caught

in the door he stole.

Unlike "A", "B" has cleaner moves.

He's a pro.

Loves machines, experienced.

Kills roaches with a spray

chilled to -75 degrees

He uses his skills in his crimes!

A typical professional criminal.

A dried wet wipe made to clean shoes.

"C" must have high standards

to be so picky about cleaning his shoes.

He is the perfectionist criminal.

There are two footprints on this poop,

facing in opposite directions.

To step in poop twice

on a 3.5-meter-wide path,

D either has vision problems,

or chooses not to look at anything.

These 38 overlapping, chaotic footprints

belong to the team's most loyal follower

who has no opinions or ideas of his own.

It's done.

It's done.

It's so difficult to be a thief.

It's always difficult

to do something well.

Why couldn't we use a can of white paint

and spray it white?

Write "Police" on it, and it's done.

All these steps! Are you stupid?

Spray it white.

It's a white minibus.

Spray yourself black.

You're a black thief.

So deep.

We can snap off the shell.

It will become a minibus again,

and we can take paying passengers.

We'll make over 100 dollars, buddies!

Don't you think we're missing something?

We don't have guns!

We certainly can't use these.

They're all rusty. Useless, like you!

Hey, I worked hard

to keep these four guns.

Don't talk about the past any more.

We need guns to rob people.

Police! Hands up!

You didn't say "Don't move."

Police! Don't move! Hands up!

How can I put my hands up if I don't move?

Stupid!

It works. We look the part.

Hey, we look better in these uniforms

than real cops.

Come over here.

I don't look like a cop.

What cop has this much style?

- Come on.

- Let me take the picture…

- Come on…

- Cool.

I don't like the look of you.

Where did you come from, boy?

- Wait--

- Why won't you answer?

Show me your ID card, show me!

Or I'll charge you

for attacking an officer.

Don't move! Hands up!

Obviously not like that!

Hands on the wall.

Spread your legs. Like this.

Of course not! You're too gentle.

Like this: left, then right…

- Hey--

- Did you bring it?

That's not patting down.

You're copping a feel.

You do it if you're so smart.

Wearing all those bright colors.

So indecent!

And without a bum!

- Without a bum!

- Hey.

Are you done fooling around?

Who are you calling a bum?

Why am I a bum?

What are you saying?

Because I went to jail in Malaysia

for you.

They whipped me until my bum bled.

"Without a bum."

Watch what you say.

Not everyone in a uniform is a cop,

nor is everyone in designer brands

a celebrity.

No matter what we wear, we're robbers!

- We're scumbags!

- About that--

- You're a scumbag who betrays buddies.

- About that--

Don't talk about that.

I don't want to listen.

You can say what you want, but I can't?

Stop talking! I don't want to listen!

- You can talk and I can't?

- Yes! Can't you accept that?

You want to be a robber? A scumbag?

We're going to rob that transport truck.

Everyone's here. Let's go!

Alright, let's go!

Don't leave anything behind!

You don't know you've left it

until you need it.

ART BEATS NATURE

Alright?

Let's go!

Hey!

Roger that! Wrong button, sir!

Let's go.

Oh, shit! A car!

Of course, we're on a road. Idiot.

AUTO- DOOR

Damn it! Son, put on your seat belt!

Sir, I can eat noodles, right?

Yes.

See? I told you so.

When you're in a uniform, in a police van

everyone thinks you're a cop.

Let's go!

It's certain death ahead. There's no

going back if anything happens.

Just follow the road.

They use this road to transport corpses.

Where else would they choose?

- Robbers would take the side roads.

- Yes!

Do you hear me?

Do you hear me? Hello?

BEWARE OF BOARS

There's no signal.

Not even one bar.

- We're in the right place. Stop!

- Stop!

- There's no signal.

- Stop calling your girl.

That's good, no signal.

This is a good place to get to work!

It's so quiet

-nobody would know if you got killed--

- Watch out!

Who is it?

- Who are they?

- Didn't they see what we're wearing?

You think Hong Kong cops

are just for decoration? After them!

Stop!

- Stop!

- Stop the car!

Engine off. Driver’s license.

Hey!

These scumbags are molesting a girl!

Don't let them go!

You want to run?

I'll let you run. Run!

I'll let you run. Run!

Do you know what you're guilty of?

Rape! And you tied her up like that!

Damn! Where are my glasses?

I just bought them!

A car is a private place. I'm just doing

private business in my space.

Rape!

Rape!

Scumbag! You're raping a woman!

Sir--

Sir, Listen to me.

We cannot punish them ourselves.

We are cops!

We cannot punish them ourselves!

Listen, Miss, don't be afraid!

We're...

We're cops. You'll be fine.

It's useless to bring us in.

According to studies, 87 percent

of women victims don't press charges--

Save your strength.

- You'll never be able to open a file.

- You'll have to let us go.

Let us go, damn cops!

- Are you cops stupid?

- Shut up!

Hello? Police? I'm Kong Dai Hoi.

My ID number is Z600206(2)

I'm Leung Tin C991733(3).

Our car registration…

Our car registration is KD1813.

We're on Ching Yau Road,

Ngau Tam Mei, Lamp post PA36.

We raped a girl here.

Send someone to arrest us now, okay?

Thank you!

Hey.

- This is all wrong.

- Do you think we're real cops?

We're robbers. Why is it wrong?

This is the only right way.

- Whatever! It's up to you.

- Come on.

Let's swap.

Put his in your mouth, yours in his mouth.

That makes it fun! Let's go.

The boars here will bite your dicks!

- East L, what are you doing?

- Poor girl, she's shivering.

- Let's go. We've called the cops.

- Let's go.

Don't look for trouble.

Lady, don't be afraid!

Sue them out of house and home!

Are you coming yet?

She's not your daughter!

My colleagues will come soon.

Be brave. Be brave.

- Be brave!

- Thank you!

She was taken by them

while selling ice cream.

- Hurry!

- At this hour?

It's hard to make a living.

You know so much.

Were you flirting with her?

- Are you blind?

- I really can't see without my glasses.

- How will you drive?

- I'll look for them.

Hey! We've called the cops.

- I have spares.

- Hurry!

I have them.

Hurry.

We've called the cops! Hurry!

Let's go!

Sir, the registration number is KD1813.

It's the car reported in the rape case.

Miss, don't be afraid. We are

police officers. We're here to help you

Don't be afraid.

Can you please tell us what just happened?

Sir.

- The suspects could have left these--

- They're mine!

The girl said a police car came by

and officers helped her.

When the incident occurred,

no patrol cars were on duty in this area.

The only possibility is

that the police car is a fake.

They reported it with the suspect's phone.

Clearly, they want

to hide their identities.

Therefore, the policemen were also fake.

He remembered to clean out their wallets.

That's A!

Black cable ties,

Giantlok GT630HD, 9mm,

79.4kg tensile strength.

First choice of first-rate technicians.

That's B!

Is a dried wet wipe still a wet wipe?

It's C.

These glasses should belong to D.

These are the bad guys who stole the parts

built the EU and impersonated cops:

A, B, C and D.

It looks like they've completed their EU

and they've begun their mission.

But why did they save her

and call the cops?

- The police are beating me up.

- Shut up!

Sir, they rescued the girl

but they stole, and carried out their own

punishment and impersonated policemen.

So, note it down.

You want to be a hero again?

What's the difference

between a hero and a cop?

Cops must abide by the law.

Heroes don't have to.

Cops earn a salary, they're employees.

Heroes don't. They are mostly bosses,

like Iron Man.

Become a boss before

you learn to be a hero.

Superman is not a boss.

He wears his underpants

outside his clothes.

We'll take up four lanes each!

The chicken wings smell great.

- Thank you, Boss!

- So wasteful.

That's not wasteful!

Wasteful is throwing money into the sea.

We're consuming it, albeit extravagantly.

Here.

- Thank you!

- Hey! That's not for you.

It's for you to pay a salary to my buddy

and buy back his watch.

Sure, no problem!

Crazy B, it's payday!

- Here.

- Thank you.

Put your watch on.

Thank you.

Enjoy yourselves.

Everyone has always cussed me out.

That's the first time

I've been thanked. Cool.

Cool.

SURPRISINGLY AWESOME SKILLS

There is no signal here.

They've been here, captured two bad guys,

and rescued a girl.

I believe they were planning

to make a move here.

They stole police car parts

but not a whole EU

to avoid police attention.

I ordered noodles but they gave me rice.

You can't even get the right takeout

order around here.

Robbing while dressed as a policeman,

like a wrong takeout order,

is a very serious crime.

I am a policeman. I must catch robbers.

If anything goes wrong,

it's every man for himself.

No! I won't let anything

happen to my buddies.

I'm a very fair man.

I decide when things are right or wrong.

Money is first priority in a robbery.

I'm with you this time.

- Stop horsing around.

- Aren't you in on this?

No, I'm not. Why?

- Real guns? You have real guns?

- What?

- Why did you bring a real gun?

- Go away.

The corpse transport truck!

- Where did you get real guns from?

- Come on. Let's go!

CROSS- BORDER CORPSE TRANSPORTATION

Hands on your heads!

Don't move!

Turn off the ignition!

Sir, how can I do that and not move?

You speak Cantonese well, friend.

I was just joking.

We suspect there are explosives

in your truck.

Open the back door.

Okay.

- What are you doing?

- What is that?

- Why are you opening the door?

- To open the back door for you.

- Give me the key. I'll open it.

- Okay.

What are you doing? Freeze!

What is that? Bring it out slowly.

Slowly!

It's a samosa, sir.

It's delicious.

Have you eaten dinner, sir?

Reach out.

Try some.

Big F.

Sergeant, it's quite good.

I can't take it when you're holding on.

It's delicious.

Curry is their specialty.

Do you have any more?

Bring them all out.

That's all I have.

- My daughter made them.

- Give it back.

My colleague will take over.

They'll just check the license. Calm down!

Hands on your heads. Don't move!

We suspect you have explosives

in your truck.

What shall we do? Someone is coming.

Do we let them go?

Let them go? Get moving!

Kill them!

No policemen use AK-47s.

They're not real cops, idiot!

We're thinking the same thing!

- Go in. Move the body out.

- Roger that.

At 12 o'clock! He's running. Shoot him!

Hey.

One isn't dead yet.

Playing dead? Shoot him!

- Three!

- Three.

Let's go! Johnny T!

Are we all here?

That's everyone. Let's go!

Sit tight!

It's all going wrong! How many died?

Did you see that just now?

Yeah, we did it!

I told you so! If I hadn't insisted on

real guns, you'd all be dead.

We're rich.

This corpse is all swollen.

There must be a lot of money.

Oh, no! They're all dead.

What do we do with the kid?

We're finished. Oh, no!

- What do we do?

- We're finished. Oh, no!

What do we do with the kid?

- What do we do? They're all dead.

- Don't panic! One step at a time.

- Did you see that?

- East L, pull over.

- They're all dead!

- Don't panic! One step at a time.

- Listen to me. Pull over.

- Okay.

- Don't panic! One step at a time.

- Okay.

Stop.

Fine. Which crisis shall we

deal with first?

What do we do with the kid?

- You decide.

- You had a part in bringing her here.

I ran out to rescue you. I didn't think

you would bring her in here!

Her parents are dead! That's very sad!

What can we do about that, Crazy B?

How about this? You adopt her.

Call her your daughter.

She can have your last name

and be a robber on our team, okay?

Open the door!

- What are you doing?

- You're always like this.

- Money is not everything

- Crazy B.

- Where are you going?

- You're a beast.

- Wait here for the bus.

- Where is Daddy?

There are no buses at this hour.

Calm down!

Where is my corpse?

I think the cops took it.

Calm down.

Where is my girl?

- I think the cops took her, too.

- I got it, East L.

- Don't panic! One step at a time.

- Oh, no! They're all dead.

East L, I got it! Come on out.

- Come on out.

- This was your idea.

- Tell us what to do now.

- Here, have a smoke.

- Have a smoke.

- You're smoking?

So many people are dead

and you're smoking? I'm not in the mood.

Give me your phone.

- Give me your phone.

- Why?

Someone is dead, right?

I'm calling the police.

They'll find out who called.

I know, call from a phone booth.

Guaranteed to be untraceable.

Give me a coin. Come on.

I didn't bring any money.

Johnny T, give me a dollar.

Hey.

Hey.

East L, look who is it?

It's Johnny T. No, it's not.

- You idiots. Emergency calls are free.

- Crazy B.

Why did you bring the kid back?

First a woman, and now the kid again.

What is wrong with you guys?

We're finished! Not only is someone dead,

but now there's a kid--

Don't panic.

One step at a time. First, tie her up.

You're finished.

They will come back to save me.

Now what? We've tied her up!

What's next? We're all here.

You, Big L, me, the corpse.

Where's Johnny T?

Police! Don't move! Hands up!

We're thinking the same thing!

How did this happen?

It's the EU! Take this, Crazy B.

East L, drive!

Auntie, this is my bicycle,

and that's my lunchbox.

You're crazy.

Of course I know Ming's bicycle.

I'm a policeman.

I need the bicycle to catch a robber.

Ming, you became a policeman.

Mommy has waited so long for this.

I'm sorry. You have the wrong person.

I'm not Ming.

That's nuts!

Of course Mommy recognizes you.

Don't be afraid.

They're hunting wild boar.

They have to kill them.

Ming, you won't get it with just one shot.

Aim at the solar plexus, double tap.

- Excuse me.

- Where are you going, Ming?

Calm down!

Don't hit my girl.

Calm down! Calm down!

- Let me die!

- Calm down!

- Let me die.

- Don't move. They're gone.

- Kill me with one shot.

- He's gone.

After him!

ROACH DISASTER IS

BETTER THAN THE GOVERNMENT

Drive over there.

No way! Why? Are you serious?

- Just go! Don't ask!

- You're nuts.

HONG KONG WAS DEFEATED BY ROACHES

Is anyone there?

If not, I'm requisitioning your bicycle.

We can't go without everyone.

What do we do now?

JOHNNY T.

ANSWER?

Johnny T, how are you doing?

- How's my buddy?

- I think you have my stuff--

JOHNNY T.

ANSWER?

I know.

Make them nervous.

We'll regain the initiative.

No, Crazy B. I want to say something.

Have you thought about

why we're doing all this work?

It's for the money.

Right?

- Why else if not for money?

- You can't do this to your buddies.

We must! We're doing a major job!

How long have we waited for this day?

Every big job has collateral damage.

As they say, in a robbery, cash is king.

Nothing else matters.

Every man for himself.

He got into the wrong vehicle.

Those robbers all have AKs.

They're beasts.

They'll kill everyone in sight!

Johnny T may have already

been killed.

Why are we looking for him?

To get back another corpse?

No, no.

I have to see him, dead or alive!

If we go, we'll all be dead!

Don't you understand?

We only have these two old toys,

but every one of them has an AK!

Ignore him! drive!

In this situation, I definitely

will not drive. I'm not driving!

Now what?

I only obey you two.

I'm not your buddy.

My words carry no weight, right?

I say drive!

- Drive!

- I won't!

- I'm not driving! Drive!

- No. I'm not driving!

You must not leave your buddy

I'm not driving!

- Drive!

- I won't drive!

Drive!

I need to pee.

Take her to pee.

I'm going too.

Can you drive?

Answer me. Can you drive?

Get my girl on the phone.

Get my girl on the phone.

- Big F, what are you doing?

- Can't you hear me?

- Get away!

- Get her on the phone!

Go!

Big F!

Our buddies are gone, the money is gone,

my glasses are gone! Everything is gone!

I quit!

Crazy B, I quit!

I really need to pee.

JOHNNY T.

ANSWER?

Just pee here!

Kill me.

Kill me.

Kill me. What are you waiting for?

- Calm down.

- Too scared?

Calm down.

- Kill me!

- Calm down!

Where are they?

Where are they?

Stop asking!

The baby I'm carrying is not yours.

Whose is it? I know! Fung's! No, Jack's!

It's not Fung's, and not Jack's.

It's Robert's.

I know. Robert the barbecued meat guy.

I'm going to chop him up.

It's not Barbecue Robert.

- Give it to me.

- It's your cousin, Robert.

Damn it.

Yes. The baby is Robert's.

Don't call me anymore.

- Who is Robert?

- His cousin.

Kill me! Please!

So, where to?

Where are we going?

I don't think you have plan.

You never had an exit strategy.

I know a smuggler's tunnel

under a drainage pipe.

I'll guide you through it

but you must let me go.

We'll split the money.

What did we hit? Hey!

- Did we run over someone? Stop!

- It's a dog.

Back up and check.

See if we ran over anyone.

- If so, we're in trouble.

- So what? Will you call the police?

Of course we'll call the police.

What else can we do?

Go back! I told you to back up.

It's no big deal to us robbers

if someone dies.

Didn't you say there's collateral damage?

See how unlucky you are.

Your girl doesn’t want you,

your buddies abandon you.

Yes. That is very unlucky,

but there's nothing we can do!

Money buys you buddies and girls, right?

As they say...

in this business, we only trust money.

You must understand that. Don't be naive.

If you have money,

women know you're a man.

But if you have no money,

they don't treat you like a human, right?

Alright, alright.

Vent your hatred, kill me!

I want to die.

Why don't we make a bet before I die?

I'll bet you won't find your girl.

I'll win.

Give me a bullet.

Remember to hit my head.

Make it accurate! Don't make any mistakes!

Shoot me in the head.

Get my girl on the phone now!

Call her.

Auntie, are you okay?

Mommy's fine. Ming, were you

frightened by the wild boar?

Let me take you to the hospital.

The pickles will rot at home.

I want to go home.

The robbers will get away

if I don't catch them.

I'll take you to the hospital,

then go catch the robber. Come on!

If you won't eat this, I won't go.

What is this?

Ming, you are right.

I am wrong.

The police must catch robbers, right?

Don't worry about me.

Go catch the robbers.

I'm fine.

Cop or robber,

you're still my good boy!

Rotten or not, it's still a pickle!

Underpants inside or outside,

Superman is Superman.

I'll take you home.

Oops.

The pickle really is rotten.

JOHNNY T

DIALING

Hang up on me again and I'll kill him.

Let my buddy go.

We'll give you your girl and the corpse.

That parking lot we just passed,

we'll exchange hostages there.

Why would I trust you?

Hostage exchanges are all about trust.

I dare to gamble. So should you.

I saw you kill many people.

For my buddy's sake, I trust you.

For a corpse and a girl,

do you dare to take the risk?

I must prove that you are wrong.

You're unlucky but I'm not.

Your girl is not my girl.

My girl would never betray me.

Fine. I trust you!

Scumbag. It's my turn to hang up on you.

ICE CREAM

Don't be afraid, calm down, Miss.

So, what do you do?

I sell ice cream.

Why are you selling ice cream

so late at night?

Tonight is Halloween.

Some people stay out really late.

It's great for my business!

Okay.

I must go now.

Where are you going? I'll give you a lift.

You ask where I'm going.

I really don't know.

I've bumbled through half my life.

following my buddies wherever they go.

Now I'm left all alone.

I really don't know where to go.

My glasses are gone, I can't see.

Calm down, don't be afraid.

Thank you, Officer!

Stop.

I know you're not Ming.

If not for the damned wild boars...

Ming would be your age now.

He might have become a policeman, too.

He might have chosen...

to bring me home

before catching robbers, too.

Why are you still standing here?

Go catch robbers!

Goodbye, sir.

Hey.

I'm warning you,

they are human!

You're not concerned your buddy has died.

yet you would worry about a stranger.

Be a true bad guy, then.

Police! Stop!

Stop!

Stop!

Watch what you're doing!

Give me your gun.

Why would I give you my gun?

Don't come any closer.

- Give me your gun!

- I'll shoot!

Why would I give you my gun?

I came to rob, but I didn't get anything.

I didn't kill anyone.

The bitch in the van is a killer.

- Give me your gun.

- Why would I do that?

Why would I do that?

Why?

Give me your gun.

What?

So what if you're police?

You think I should just

hand over my gun?

Do cops trump everyone else?

- Get in.

- You don't go after robbers, only me?

Get in!

- Remember, I saved your life!

- Get in.

We'll talk at the station.

Girls can't go into the men's restroom.

It's late. It doesn't matter.

HONG KONG WAS DEFEATED BY ROACHES

I need to pee.

He may be tied up,

but he needs to shut up.

After I find my girl,

I will shoot him in the mouth,

and then shoot him in the head.

Hey. Hold on.

Just ignore what that scumbag says.

You're nuts. Why would I listen to him?

It's his bad luck that he got dumped.

That really is unlucky.

She got herself pregnant by his cousin.

THERE ARE BAD GUYS OUTSIDE

I've thought it through.

My girl would never betray me.

Come find my girl with me.

My princess was taken by bad guys.

Don't move.

I made you lose the Princess,

so I'll make another one.

You're a princess.

I have a buddy who always wants people

to give him two thumbs up.

Where's my police cap?

You weren't wearing one just now.

- Hey.

- Where's my police cap?

You're asking me?

Sir, arresting me doesn't help.

- Ouch, it hurts.

- Move.

You should arrest those scumbags.

They are inhuman.

Spraying bullets with their AKs.

- Sit down.

- Catch those guys.

They are the bad robbers.

We arrest anyone who commits a crime.

Impersonating police officers

and making a fake EU

are serious crimes already.

I will take you in now.

Princess. Wait here for the bus.

Your beard tickles.

Are there buses at this hour?

I'm going to catch the robbers

and save my buddies.

When you get on the bus,

tell the driver...

to go find Mr. Policeman.

Don't leave me here.

- Don't leave me here.

- Be good.

Wait for the bus here.

BAD

THERE ARE BAD GUYS OUTSIDE

Hello, what time is it?

- Did you get fired again?

- Did I--

Did I ever give you a doll?

I don't remember. Why are you asking

in the middle of the night?

Are you okay?

What kind of doll do you like?

I'll buy it for you.

Mr. Chou, how old am I?

You want to give me a doll?

Twenty-two, and still my little girl.

You are decades old, still my old man

and still sleeping too late.

Get some sleep.

What?

Why?

Why is she alone?

Where is Crazy B?

Little girl, where did you

get your jacket from?

Hey! Girl! Where is that man?

The curly-haired policeman.

He said he's going to save his buddies.

Did you hear that, sir?

I really can't go

to the station with you.

I have to save my buddy. Please!

I promise you,

after taking you to the station,

we will go save your friend.

DELICIOUS, FRESH ICE CREAM

Little girl, would you

like some ice cream?

Here.

Sir, I'm doing great business today.

I just gave a cone to another policeman.

and gave him back his glasses.

It's him.

He was confused and couldn't see too well.

Now he knows where to go.

Sir! Let me go!

East L has returned to the team!

After I finish my business,

I will go in with you.

Trust me.

Miss, can you please

take her to the police station?

- Okay.

- Thank you.

"B" saved a little girl.

"D" saved a rape victim.

You are "A,"

-and you saved me.

- That's right!

I saved you.

- You should let me go to save my buddies.

- You say you want to save your buddies?

You want to go against those robbers?

You think that uniform is real?

It doesn't matter what we wear.

Trust me, just this once!

Our last stop will be

the police station...

but we can make one stop before that.

Thank you, sir.

Where do you want to get off?

Asshole.

Why are those scumbags here?

These are the scumbags.

Watch what you're doing.

They are heavily armed.

Stay calm.

They won't dare touch us.

We have his girl.

They have my girl.

Don't shoot.

My two buddies!

Grab the girl and the corpse!

What happened?

Get up.

Are you okay?

Buddy. He is alive.

Crazy B.

Who is this?

Officer Tsui, a real cop.

What happened to him?

He's been shot.

Do you have a dollar?

Another dollar? What for?

With these injures, we need to

call an ambulance.

Emergency calls are free.

I can't take you to the police station

anymore.

The world is so strange.

Turtle jelly that has no turtle.

Milk tea that has no milk.

Bad guys that aren't bad.

Where will you get off?

Think about it carefully.

ROACHES OUTBREAK

Stop.

What's wrong?

The money is not inside the corpse.

Why didn't you say so sooner?

When I was in the truck,

I removed the money.

I am really sorry, buddies. I didn't think

you'd risk your lives for me.

I sold out my buddies

over a woman like that.

I'm a scumbag.

I'm a scumbag.

I am a bastard! I'm sorry.

Hey! Hey!

- Hey.

- I'm bastard.

I'm a scumbag.

- Hey.

- I'm a scumbag.

You're a scumbag?

I'm just as much of a scumbag.

I've made it clear.

I'd choose money over you.

Hey, alright. Sit down.

- Are you sure?

- The money is still with us?

Yes.

I have to pee.

I have to pee.

I haven't seen the sunrise in a long time.

I haven't seen Hong Kong in a long time.

I haven't seen so clearly in a long time.

Have you thought about where to go?

Hey.

Out of my way.

Don't block me. I must stop those robbers!

That gang of inhuman beasts

kills everyone they see.

I don't know if I did the right thing,

but I don't want to do too much wrong.

Big F, can you drive?

Right. You saved me at such great cost

but now you're planning to leave me here?

Take me with you, I'll be okay.

You followed my plan to be robbers,

but now we're catching other robbers.

This sounds rather stupid to me.

This whole incident

sounds a bit stupid.

And I don't know why,

but somehow it feels so cool.

Faster! If they get to the campsite,

more people will die! East L, step on it!

Roger that.

Go! Ignore them.

- Hurry, East L.

- Faster.

These four guns may be rusty

and not so good on their own

but they're vicious when tied together.

Why didn't you tell me sooner?

What else are you hiding?

- Also--

- Shoot! Talk later.

Your turn. Kill!

Shoot it!

Asshole!

What?

What happened?

- Hey.

- What happened?

We're out of ammo.

- What happened?

- We're all out.

Sit tight!

- Oh, shit.

- Oh, shit.

Good thing we put in bulletproof glass!

Stop! East L--

Stop!

East L!

Stop!

Crash into them!

Oops.

Wow.

Yo!

Yeah!

Yeah.

It's flattened.

All done!

- Yeah!

- Yeah!

The police cap really is here.

DO NOT DISTURB DRIVER

They did everything they said they would.

These four came to turn themselves in

and brought gifts.

Five AKs, five Type 54s

three shotguns, 236 bullets,

and five robbers with 172 wounds.

But most incredibly, there was also

the police cap I lost 16 days ago.

This minibus' last stop

was the police station

but they went to the wrong place

and brought it

to the Marine Police Station.

This is a case of one gang

of police-impersonating robbers

running into another gang

of police-impersonating robbers.

This gang of fake cops killed many people.

That gang of fake cops felt that was wrong

and went to capture this gang

of fake cops.

Without that gang of fake cops,

we would never have caught

this gang of fake cops.

I'm not sure what you're saying,

but it sounds cool.

It is cool.

Four bowling balls and one minibus

captured five robbers with AKs.

Two dead, three seriously injured.

It really doesn't matter what one wears.

I've been a gang boss and a robber,

and impersonated a cop.

Whatever one does, it's just a job title

that others call you by.

Just like how what you wear

is for others to see.

When you have courage to face yourself,

what does it matter what you wear?

The key is to know what you're doing.

"Two thumbs up" is not

what others give you.

It's what you give yourself!

No matter where he wears his underpants,

Superman is still Superman.

A dried wet wipe or a wet dry wipe,

as long as it believes

it can clean things, it is a wipe.

Don't think that everyone in uniform

is a policeman.

It doesn't matter what you wear.

Angel or devil. Devil or angel.

It depends on how you look at it.

Special news report.

This morning, just after five a.m.,

two morning joggers discovered

wanted fugitive

and illegal roach farmer, Cheung Po-keung,

near a public toilet in Nam Chung.

Police describe Cheung

to be very emotionally agitated

when they discovered him.

Cop steals bicycle.

Police rushed to the scene

and arrested this man

who turned Hong Kong upside down.

Why do people throw trash everywhere?

Just have a barbecue, damn it!

- Big F.

- What?

I've wanted

to tell you something for years.

Fine, never mind.

16 MONTHS LATER, HONG KONG'S

SOUTH- EASTERNMOST COUNTRY PARK

It's about that time you drank pee

and ate roaches for us, right?

How long have you known?

A long time.

But I didn't tell you

to make you feel you owed us.

It's not about us owing you.

You're just a scumbag.

A real scumbag.

A real scumbag!

Lost seven-year-old girl, Tsang Ching-yee,

miraculously rescued after two weeks.

So, those weren't her parents.

They were kidnappers.

So, not only did we catch robbers,

we even rescued someone.

If I didn't risk it all to save you,

you would have died of a brain hyperemia.

No matter what we wear, we are heroes!

Remember, girl, I saved you.

Tell her, I rushed out to save her.

Tell her, if not for my gun,

both of you would have been dead.

Without my guns,

you three would have died.

See who they are thanking.

- Two thumbs up! That's me!

- I taught her that!

- You tell him, I taught you.

- Let me tell you,

I taught him about "two thumbs up".

There is no more officer 39633

in this world.

There is only me, Lucifer.

You can call me Big F.

I'll get off at the intersection.

- I want to get off.

- Restricted area.

Why didn't you tell me?

We've passed our stop.

Get off when you can.

I want off. You damned minibus driver!

I want to get off.

How would I know that's a restricted area?

I'll tell you.

Don't take the minibus if you can't walk!

Take a taxi! Scumbag!

PUBLIC LIGHT BUS DRIVER

IDENTITY PLATE, HO WING SIU

My number is 39633.

My name is Tsui On Leung.

Buddies! I have another idea!

- Tell me if you're okay with it.

- I'm okay with it.

Aren't you unlucky enough?

Speak! Since we are buddies.

I, Crazy B, will back you if I can.

What's there to back?

We don't have the minibus any more.

Even if it's full,

we have no van to drive.

My third great-uncle in Apleichau

had a dragon boat.

Let's turn it into a warship

to take back our island.

This won't only be carrying out justice,

we'll be the glory of our nation!

END