Two If by Sea (1996) - full transcript

Frank O'Brien, a petty thief, and his 7-year-long girlfriend Roz want to put an end to their unsteady lifestyle and just do that _last_ job, which involves stealing a valuable painting. Frank takes Roz to an island on the coast of New England, where he wants to sell the painting and also hopes that their sagging relationship will get a positive push back up. Not everything goes as planned, as some thugs and the FBI try to recover the painting and Roz gets attracted not only to the landscape...

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♪ Do you remember

that sunny day ♪

♪ Somewhere in London ♪

♪ In the middle

of nowhere? ♪

♪ Didn't have nothin'

to do that day ♪

♪ Didn't want

to do nothing ♪

♪ Anyway ♪

♪ You got a way

of walkin' ♪

♪ You got a way

of talkin' ♪

♪ And there's somethin'

about you ♪

♪ And now I know ♪

♪ I never ever wanna

be without you ♪

♪ I wanna be haunted

by the ghost ♪

♪ I wanna be haunted

by the ghost ♪

♪ I wanna be haunted

by the ghost ♪

♪ I wanna be haunted

by the ghost ♪

♪ Of your precious love ♪

♪ You got a way

of walkin' ♪

♪ You got a way

of talkin' ♪

♪ And there's somethin'

about you ♪

♪ That's the kind

of girl I am ♪

♪ He's my kind

of guy ♪

♪ And now I know ♪

♪ I never ever wanna

be without you ♪

♪ I wanna be haunted

by the ghost ♪

♪ I wanna be haunted

by the ghost ♪

♪ I wanna be haunted

by the ghost ♪

♪ I wanna be haunted

by the ghost ♪

♪ And now I know ♪

♪ I never ever wanna be

without you... ♪

By the way, I, uh...

I like your hair.

No, you don't.

No, I do. It's, uh...

it's nice.

Thanks.

You think for 150 bucks

they could make it

all one color?

Honey?

Yeah?

Shut up.

This style happens to be very popular

in New York right now.

All the top models

are wearing it.

Christy Turlington,

Linda Evangelista...

Yeah, well...

Claudia Schiffer.

Maybe in New York

you can walk around like that.

But walk around

Boston like that,

you look like

you can't make up your mind.

I'm from New York.

I think I know more

about fashion than you do.

So, you drive down

twice a year to New York,

and all of a sudden

you're Christie Brinkley?

We live four hours from the cultural

and entertainment mecca

of the Western Hemisphere.

What are you

talking about?

I'm talking

about restaurants,

I'm talking about museums,

and I'm talking about

the theater.

I'm talking about

Cats.

We have seen Batman Returns

12 times now.

No, no. We've seen

three different Batman movies

four times each.

You know what?

They all sucked.

I'm not driving

four hours each way

just to see fags dressed up

in tights and fake whiskers

pretending

to be cats.

How about bugs?

They got their own show yet?

A guy dressed up like a bat,

that's O.K., right?

But a guy dressed up

like a cat is a fag?

Yeah.

Batman's different.

He's got the cape

and... and the cowl...

And spends all his time

with a teenage boy.

Talk to the hand,

all right?

You know what?

You smell like smoke.

Huh?

Did you have a cigarette

back there?

No, I didn't.

I haven't had one

in two months.

You had one,

didn't you?

No. Read the map.

Did you have a cigarette

back there?

Read the fucking map

and tell me where I am.

- Read the map yourself.

- Great.

That's just

fucking great.

Ow!

What's wrong with you?

This requires a plan.

This is big time.

I planned it.

Yeah,

like Homer Simpson.

"Beano's got a job

for me.

"All I got to do

is pick up a painting

and drive to Rhode Island."

"Think of it

as a ride in the country.

It's a ride

in the country, honey."

This is

a ride in the country.

If you'd changed the oil

in your 1972...

Nova. Nova.

Fucking shitbag,

then I wouldn't have

to steal this car,

the cops wouldn't

have seen us,

and we'd be on

our merry way.

What are you doing?

Taking a right.

You don't even know

where you're going.

Remember the map?

Those were

the fucking days.

The map days.

See you later, fellas.

Wow!

Oh, my God.

Hey,

I got you something.

Oh, my God.

It's a little... cat.

Did you steal this

from the house?

No.

Honey...

Yes.

I love it.

Oh, I want

to look at this. Ow.

Oh, honey,

that's beautiful.

Yep.

Take a good look,

because she's worth

about 100 grand.

My cut's 10 thou.

Our cut, honey.

Right.

We're a team, honey.

We do things together.

My little pookie.

Mm-hmm.

My little stud muffin.

In the back.

What?

Go in the back.

In the back?

Well,

you've got to...

Honey, no.

Take your jacket off.

Just take your jacket off.

Shit, honey,

we're on the painting.

Oh...

Mmm.

Shit. Honey,

I lost the cat.

What?

I lost the cat.

I lost the cat.

Fuck the cat, honey.

Holy shit. A train.

Tickets, please.

Narragansett station

stop next.

Next stop Narragansett.

Perfect.

Train to the ferry.

Hit the island. Perfect.

What time

we meet the buyer?

5:00.

Good.

Good, good, good.

Sunday.

What?

Surprise.

Honey,

today's Thursday.

I know,

but Beano wanted me

to steal a painting

on Sunday morning,

do the whole job

in one day.

But I figured, why not make

a weekend out of it?

Tickets.

Two for Narragansett,

please.

Shit. My wallet.

What?

I must have left

my wallet in my...

other pants.

Oh, please...

allow me.

You left the stolen car

at the train station.

Stolen car, train station,

police...

These aren't college graduates

we're talking about.

These are cops.

They're like...

like garbagemen

with guns.

And second of all,

sometimes the best way

to do something

is to do the most obvious thing

in broad daylight.

People don't even

pick up on it.

Oh... ho.

O.K., then...

Oh.

O.K.

O.K.

Follow me, Einstein.

Frank,

the painting.

Shoot. Shoot.

Give me your, uh,

your screwdriver.

Open for Mommy. Open.

All right.

O.K., honey.

Oh, jeez. All right.

1... 2...

You're going

to jump?

I got it.

I got it.

Come on, honey.

Come on, sweetie.

Just back up again.

Honey...

Honey, you O.K.?

Come on. Give me...

O.K. I got you.

What are we going to do now?

We wait.

Oh, Frank. Why don't you use

a tissue or something?

Honey,

that wasn't me.

Oh!

Ohh, Frank,

they're so cute.

Honey,

puppies are cute.

These are just cheeseburgers

with legs.

Come on.

O.K., Frank...

Frank...

Frank...

Frank!

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

What are you doing?

Roz...

Frank, come on.

No, no.

Don't take off

your shoes.

Just come on,

honey.

Jump.

O'Malley. FBI.

O'Malley?

Yeah?

Why?

L... I don't know.

I just thought

you'd be more, uh...

More Irish.

Yes, sir.

Top o' the fucking morning

to you.

Yes, sir.

It appears the perpetrator

made forced entry

through the rear via

use of a blunt object,

possibly a shoe.

Lose the legalese,

Burke.

He kicked

the door in.

What's that?

Plaster, sir.

The suspect may have worked with

plaster recently.

The perpetrator then entered

the living room,

where he absconded

with the painting in question...

Odalisque With Red Culottes

by Henri Matisse,

approximate worth

$4 million...

according to

the owner.

What was that?

$4 million...

The guy's name?

Henri Matisse.

He's French.

I know

he's fucking French,

but you're not French,

so say "Henry."

Also missing,

one black ceramic cat,

approximate worth $3.79,

again, according to

the owner.

A what?

A ceramic cat,

sir.

It was

her favorite.

Excuse me, sir.

There's no smoking

in here.

House rules.

What's with the TV?

It appears that the perpetrator

tried to, uh...

Tried to cop a TV.

Yes, sir. We feel

it was too heavy for him.

Guy lifts

a $4 million painting.

What does he want with a TV?

Maybe he thought the ceramic cat

would look good on it.

What do you think?

Phil the Shill, huh?

Don't start with me, Peters.

I forgot.

Phil the Shill

is dead.

Who would know that

better than you?

Did he ever tell you

the story about Phil the Shill?

Who?

I'm not in the mood

today, Peters.

Yeah.

Back in 1982,

O'Malley was assigned

to some big art heist.

Figures it was the work of this

famous New York thief

named Phil the Shill.

Anyway, he spent the next 18 months

tracking this guy.

And one day, guess who drops dead

in the Cayman Islands?

Phil the Shill.

Bingo.

Case closed?

Not for O'Malley

here.

He spent

the next year

and a quarter million dollars

on what?

Trying to find

a dead guy.

He faked it.

He faked his...

own death.

Yeah, sure.

Oh, God.

O.K., honey,

we're walking.

We're walking.

We're walking.

We're making a right.

Oh.

Here you go.

You want a breath mint?

Can you hold this, please?

O.K. How do we make a weekend

on $8 and...

75 cents?

Follow me, hon.

What?

I'll get Beano

to wire us some money.

He won't give you money

when you're standing in front of him.

What makes you think

he's going to wire it?

He sent me here.

He'll do it.

Christ, Beano,

the thing don't work.

What do you expect

for 50 bucks?

Next time,

steal it yourself.

Yeah?

Hey, Beano...

phone.

Come on, Jimmy.

How you doing?

O.K.

Yeah?

Hey...

it's Frank.

What'll you give me

for the whole box?

50 bucks.

What are you, nuts?

Me? You're the guy

carrying a box of phones.

O.K.

75 bucks.

Hold on.

Big job, Frankie.

Big job.

Thanks.

Actually, Beano, I...

I already did the job.

Huh?

Will you answer

these phones?

What job, Frank?

You know, the, uh,

the painting.

'Cause I figured

what the heck?

Make a weekend

out of it...

Whoa!

Make a weekend

out of what?

The painting.

You stole the painting

already?

Yeah. I got it

right here.

This is not my day!

Hello?

Frank,

what the hell?

Uh, well, see,

the thing is...

we don't get away

that much, so...

"Rappaport."

We? Who's we?

Me and Roz, see,

'cause we don't take

a lot of vacations...

Ow! Ah!

Oh!

Rappaport. Rappaport.

Rappaport.

No. I just thought...

Rappaport.

My mother was right.

You are retarded...

You and that Jewish broad

of yours.

Leave Roz out of this.

You could have dated

a neighborhood girl.

But not Frank.

I got it all figured out.

Why don't we

make the drop today,

since the painting's here?

Then get the buyer...

You think

I just pick a day?

Sunday. Sox are

out of town.

It's set up

for a reason.

The buyer's out of town.

He's due back

on guess what day?

Sunday?

Lucky guess.

I got to think.

Check in the hotel,

don't leave that island,

and make sure you're at that fish plant

at 5:00 on what day?

Sunday?

Memorize it!

Look, Beano...

uh, how will I

know the guy?

If the wrong guy turns up

at the abandoned fish plant

at the end of

a deserted pier on Sunday

with $20,000 in cash...

Yeah?

Sell him

the fucking painting!

Did you tell him

you lost your wallet?

I didn't lose it.

I know exactly

where it is.

It's home...

top of the bureau.

Found it on

the driver's seat.

Different name

every credit card.

Seems pretty small time,

you know, sir.

It's a $4 million

painting, Burke.

That's never small time.

What's this?

It's vacant

till Sunday.

That's all that matters.

What do you say...

back door?

No.

All right.

They'd expect us

to go to the back door.

We go to the front.

Hey. Hey.

This ain't Boston,

Frankie.

All right?

O.K.

What, you looking

for a key?

No, I'm looking

for your brain.

You think somebody

would actually leave a key?

It might be up here.

The front door

of a house?

This key right here?

Is that what you're

talking about?

I'm just checking.

Wow.

Mmm... nice.

Yeah.

Here.

You carry it.

Wow.

Wow.

This place

is a gold mine.

Not here.

It's bad karma.

Where'd you learn that...

Night school?

Ooh-ah...

what have we here?

Yes.

"Dear Todd, please make sure

to water the plants

and pick up

the newspaper..."

Aspen.

"Hi Mom & Dad,

having a wonderful time.

Dale Jr. And Vivian."

"We'll see you

on Sunday the 11th.

We'll be flying back from Chicago.

Joan Rappaport."

Don't think so, Todd.

Ahh.

Where's the TV

around here, huh?

Police in Newport,

Rhode Island,

are investigating

the theft of a painting

from one of the most

prominent art collectors.

FBI spokesmen

say the painting,

Matisse's

Odalisque With Red Culottes,

is valued at

approximately $4 million...

Buyer said it's worth

500 grand.

You told Frankie

it was worth 100 grand.

...believe to be part of

a major international ring

took the painting

from the mansion...

I'm going to get

that painting

and sell it myself

for real money.

This is a horse that

still runs six panels in a buck five.

I don't think they're

going to negotiate

on the stud fee.

Let me call you back.

We ran the prints

off the toy cat.

"Francis Michael O'Brien.

"Drunk and disorderly

in Fenway Park in '79.

"Possession

of fireworks.

"Scalping tickets

in front

of a Ticketmaster."

That's a new one.

With all due respect, sir,

let's leave this one

to the state police.

We're going after him,

Burke.

They got a Jacuzzi

in there.

The bathroom's the size

of Madison Square Garden.

There's a quiz in here called

"Are you in a dead-end relationship?"

There's no TV

in this house.

Now, if this was

our house,

I'd have a TV,

like, right in here.

A bar or something.

Who locks the bar?

Honey,

answer the question.

"You just had

a big fight.

"Does he

A... resume normal activity,

"B... go for a walk,

or C... pour himself a drink

and turn on the ballgame?"

There is no TV in here.

Wow!

Now, that's what

I call class.

A... resume normal

activity.

O.K., number 2...

"An old boyfriend comes into town

"and asks you to dinner.

"Do you A... accept

the invitation

"as long as your current boyfriend

can come along,

"B... sneak off to the dinner

but don't tell him,

or C... turn down the invitation

and keep it to yourself?"

Hmph.

There's a tough one.

You'd tell him

to go fuck himself,

and then I'd beat the shit

out of him, right?

That's not what I did

last time.

Very funny.

Was is that prick

Andy Porcini?

Shit. Andy, there's

somebody at the door.

You just called me Andy.

Honey, you just said,

"Andy, there's somebody at the..."

No, I didn't.

Roz, that's what

you just said.

You said, " Andy,

there's someone at the door."

Shh! I was kidding,

all right?

I can tell

when you're joking, O.K.?

That was not a joke.

Think he's a cop?

He's too

good-looking.

What?

First you said the thing about

Andy Porcini,

then he's... this guy's...

Hello.

Hi. Sorry

to intrude.

Evan Marsh

from just across

the way.

Who are you people?

We're friends

of the Rappaports.

Uh, my name is Roz.

How are you?

Oh, hi.

This is Frank.

There's not supposed

to be anybody here.

We're friends

of Dale Jr. And Vivian's.

We go skiing with them

every year in Aspen.

Dale didn't mention

that you were, uh...

Well, it was because

it was so last-minute.

We just... we just got on the phone,

we called Todd.

Todd.

Said, "We'll take care of the place

for the weekend.

Just take your cares

elsewhere."

They were, uh,

they were in, uh...

Chicago.

Chicago. And...

We just saw them up...

we saw them...

At Easter.

Easter. With...

Up in, um...

The cape.

Because, uh,

we had this party.

The party.

And Dale was shitfaced.

Remember?

Drunk.

Well, this is propitious.

I'm having a little bash at my place

tomorrow night. Cocktails.

Perhaps you'd care

to stop by.

L... I would, uh...

I would love to.

I mean,

if you don't want to.

Sure. No, no.

Frank, you know, he's...

I would love to.

Well, I'll see you

tomorrow night.

O.K.

Good night.

All righty.

Think he's gay?

No.

Look at his pants.

Honey, gay people

wear tight pants.

Here it is.

"Propitious... favorable,

auguring well,

gracious,

and favorably inclined."

You know,

it just means, like...

He could have just said

wicked good.

Oh, my God, honey,

look at this.

This is the painting

that you stole.

Oh, my God.

"Odalisque al... a la...

Cu...

Culottes."

This is

"Culottes."

"Rouge."

Oh, my God.

"Henri Matisse,"

the guy

who painted it.

It's pretty old.

This place is nice.

Huh?

Uh-huh.

You know?

Yeah.

This bed...

the books.

The books?

Yeah, the books.

They look nice.

Nice books?

You're always saying

we never go anywhere.

Here we are.

Oh, I know what

you're doing.

I know what

you're doing.

Don't even...

don't even try. Don't even.

Come on, now.

Know what?

I was wrong

about that dye job.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

I like the color.

All three colors.

Now that I'm lying here

half naked,

it's not so...

what'd you call it... weird?

Is that what

you called it?

That's a horrible thing...

What?

I don't know.

It's just...

You know, even though

I hate what we do...

Mm-hmm.

You know,

well, what you do.

It's just... sometimes it's just

really exciting.

It's, like, where we are

on the water

and the house

and all the books, great bed.

Great books. We got a great bed

and great books.

Honey.

♪ Got a great bed ♪

♪ Got a great bed♪

Relax.

I would never hurt you.

You know

what we should do?

We should get out

more often.

We should go to my sister's place

down on Long Island.

We'll have the whole place

to ourselves.

What's the matter?

What do you want?

Kiss me.

Yeah. Get some

of those candles.

Those oils.

Yeah.

Get almond oil.

That's my favorite.

'Cause it tastes

like peanut butter?

And get the...

candles.

Maybe, uh...

maybe we should...

What?

Nothing.

I was just thinking

of this thing I told Jimmy about,

but I can cancel it.

What did you tell Jimmy?

No, it was just this thing

with Jimmy.

What did you

tell Jimmy?

Honey, it was nothing.

You said

this was going to be

the last time

that you pull a job like this.

You were

going to pull this job

then go work

for your uncle.

That was the plan,

right?

But, no, it's not...

No?

No?

It's not what

you think it is.

He's got a truckload

of hotel TVs coming in...

I just collect the money.

It's 3 grand.

You say 3,

you come home with 500.

All right,

you were guaranteed

$1,000 with your uncle, honey.

$1,000.

I hate that job.

Plastering walls eight hours a day.

You're either a contractor,

or you are a thief.

You're a contractor

or a thief.

How many thieves you know

got day jobs?

How many you know?

A lot.

Me... Jimmy...

fucking...

Fucking...

Fucking...

Fucking Nicky,

fucking... you suck.

Don't touch me,

all right? You suck.

Honey, all right.

Don't.

You're a cashier

at Barnes and Noble.

It's not like

you're some...

Don't even go there,

all right?

I'm a cashier,

not a thief.

Look.

Look nothing. I don't want

to do this anymore.

What do you want?

We're having this argument,

like, all the time.

You want to know

what I want?

I want a lot

of things.

I want... I would like

to have a house.

We talked about that.

You want me to list

these things off?

I'd like kids

and to go to Europe.

Europe? What the fuck?

I'd like

to see Italy.

Italy?

You're fucking Jewish.

What?

Get out.

Look, honey,

let me... let me...

Don't touch me.

Get out.

What happened here?

Don't talk to me.

Is this one of those

hormone things?

Beer? Forget the beer

and get in the car!

Only taking

three cases.

That ain't going

to last us till Sunday.

Where's my phone?

In the box.

In the box?

Did your mother

take thalidomide?

When?

Get in the car.

Hey, Beano,

Frank is on the phone.

Hey, Fitzie,

come with me.

The French impressionist

painting by Henri Matisse

said to be worth

more than $4 million.

Thieves dumped their car

a few miles from the mansion,

then stole another vehicle

before leading police

on a high-speed

car chase.

High-speed car chase? FBI?

What are you,

Burt Reynolds?

W-what about the $4 million,

Mr... Mr... Mr. L-Liar?

What the guy told me

I told you.

I swear

on my mother's eyes.

Your mother's dead,

Beano.

The point is, Frank,

we're going to get more money.

Don't worry. Just stay put.

Where are you?

I don't know.

Some house.

...the past seven years.

18 Beach Road.

Amahonsett.

18 Beach Road.

Got it.

And, Frank, if the FBI

comes down on me...

The FBI's not

going to come down on anybody.

What do they got

to go on?

The only name that checks out

is Beano Callahan.

He's been arrested twice

for fencing stolen goods,

and he's O'Brien's cousin.

It can't be this easy.

O'Malley,

you give me a break.

You expect me

to authorize travel expenses

for another Phil the Shill

wild goose chase?

He's dead.

I got information

that the fence is on the move.

I think he'll lead us

to the painting.

You want to go back

to a desk?

No, sir, I don't.

You got till 9 A.M.

Monday morning.

Where's my money,

you asshole?

The 50 bucks!

What are you

talking about?

I work for these people.

I know you're not

supposed to be here,

and you took my money.

If I don't get it back

in three seconds,

I'm calling the cops.

1...

2...

3.

Money's not in my hand.

You blew it big time.

Go ahead.

Call the cops.

See if I care.

Got any I.D.?

Uh... I.D.

Driver's license?

I got a kid over

by Sea Cliff Road

says no one's

supposed to be here.

Which shower did Dale say...

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, ma'am.

I'm so sorry.

Pardon me.

I didn't know

anyone was here.

We had a report.

Nobody told us.

You know what?

Jeez, that's Dale for you.

Ugh!

Hello.

Hi.

Good morning.

Hello, Herbert.

I see you've met Roz

and, uh...

- Frank.

- Frank.

Frank.

They're here for the weekend.

Is there a problem?

We had a report

there were intruders.

They're friends

of Dale Jr.

Have you caught

that raccoon yet?

We're working on it.

Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

Thought you might like

to go sailing.

Yeah...

Uh, we can't go sailing

because, uh...

Roz hates boats.

Frank, I don't hate boats.

You hate the boats.

I don't hate

the boats.

You O.K.?

Shouldn't have eaten

that celery.

Rain Man

and Terminator 2.

Did you ever see

Fast Times at Ridgemont High?

It's great.

Phoebe Cates is in it.

I need the phone.

I got to go. Bye.

What's up?

You found

the raccoon.

Where's that number

Dale Rappaport left me?

The hotel in Chicago?

What's going on?

I don't know.

Got a hunch, though.

Just remind him

he's overdue on Basic Instinct.

Mr. Dale Rappaport.

Could you ask him

to call Sheriff Horn?

He knows the number.

Thanks. Bye.

Repeat... the car is

a '69 Chrysler Newport.

Maroon with black top.

Massachusetts license

3-9-1-

Tango-2-Foxtrot.

They've had this make

since last night. No sign of it yet?

They'd have to be morons

to be still driving that car.

You morons, you want food?

We got food.

I'm going to lose control

of my bowels.

I hope this place

is clean.

I don't give a shit.

Look at this.

"Breakfast special...

three eggs, bacon, home fries."

All for 1.99.

You better start

cutting back.

You're going to take

a heart attack.

No butter or mayonnaise.

That's the secret to my health.

Oh, no, Beano.

We ain't eaten in 12 hours.

This is unhumane.

I had my heart

set on eggs.

That was a real pisser.

Tomorrow let's get

our gums scraped.

Tonight, the dress?

How do we dress?

You look great

just as you are.

How about me?

Don't talk to him

like that.

I was trying to be nice,

and you're throwing

attitude around.

I think

he's a gentleman.

I think

he's an asshole.

I want my money!

Jesus Christ,

who is this person?

Wow.

How'd you do that?

Who was that?

Todd.

That is Todd?

Yeah. You want

to have kids?

Not like Todd,

I don't.

Kids today are on crack.

I don't want anybody

stopping them.

We need

a clear path.

You're not going

to stop them?

Do you have any idea

how much that car is worth?

I know people!

My husband's a lawyer!

There better not be

a scratch on it.

Maybe we shouldn't go

to this party tonight,

you know?

Stay home

and watch television.

I don't want

to stay here by myself.

You know?

Generally, you have

a pretty good time on your own.

Huh?

Generally, you have

a pretty good time by yourself.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Should I be worried?

No. It's fine.

♪ I don't know

what you got ♪

♪ But it sure is

gettin' to me ♪

♪ Makes the whole night hot ♪

♪ Hot chills just go

right through me ♪

♪ All the power ♪

♪ Baby, is in your hands ♪

♪ 'Cause you got me hummin' ♪

This is worth

a lot. It's fur.

It's fake fur.

It's faux fur.

O.K.

You got to look

at this stuff. Very scary.

Why don't you just wear,

like, a sweater...

What's with

the sweaters?

They got money.

They don't need taste.

They're going to see

your underwear.

♪... At night ♪

♪ I can't go back to sleep ♪

Elton John left his glasses

in the drawer.

Elton John comes out.

He's gay.

They don't care

if he comes out in a dress.

He doesn't come out

in a dress.

If he came out naked,

it would be fine.

It's a more open thing.

You don't have to be

a homosexual to be open.

You know, I-I'm open.

What do you mean?

I have openness.

Open to what?

You know, ideas, new experiences,

things like that.

Opening my mind

to things.

I don't think

we should go.

You're opening yourself up

for something, you know.

I don't know what the fuck

you're talking about.

I'm talking about

personal, innermost...

Was there a thing

on Oprah or something?

A... Elton John

does not wear dresses,

B... you don't have to be a homosexual

to have openness,

and C...

I can't find

anything to wear.

What was "C"?

There's no "C."

I can't find anything to wear.

Wow!

♪ You got me hummin',

ooh, ooh ♪

♪ You got me hummin',

ooh, ooh♪

What did you decide

to wear?

Wow.

Ha!

You look great.

And this is a very good look

for you, too.

I was actually still sort of

looking for stuff.

Hon, why don't

we stay... hon?

Honey.

Honey.

Honey.

Hon.

♪ They called us crazy ♪

♪ Behind our backs ♪

Liposuction,

tummy tuck,

tits, eyes, chin.

The whole package,

100,000.

You tell me.

Do I look 51?

Hi.

What's going on?

Hi.

Feeling better, I see.

Glad you could make it.

We're just trying

to work out what this is.

Piece by a local artist.

Isn't it great?

Looks like a raft to me.

Don't touch it.

It might fall apart.

Can I get you

anything,

a cocktail,

pair of shoes?

Yeah. I'll have a martini,

very dry.

When did you start

ordering martinis?

With or without

an olive?

I'll take it...

I'll take a couple olives.

Do me a favor, Frank,

don't talk.

Who are you trying

to impress?

What?

What, Frank?

Honey.

What?

He was hitting on you

on the boat, wasn't he?

You're drunk.

Just go home.

I've had

three drinks.

Then you're drunk.

Go home.

I can drink, like,

nine martinis.

Then drink them

and go home.

Maybe I will.

Good.

Evan bred

that horse.

Yeah?

Looks great.

Great.

You know

Donald Trump?

We were at his house

two weeks ago.

No, we weren't.

She doesn't get

along with Marla,

so it was me and Donald.

Great guy.

- He thinks you're an asshole.

- Oh, yeah? Says who?

Don Johnson.

Oh, yeah? Well...

fuck the two

of them.

Excuse us.

See you later.

Take it easy.

Can... can we just...

This is it. This is

that moment in your life

when you'll look back on it

and regret it.

Why are you

embarrassing me like this?

- I'm not.

- You are.

Double olive.

Jim and Marcie Kellerher,

I'd like you

to meet Roz

- and Fred...

- Frank.

Frank...

Porkavitch.

Porkavitch?

Porkavitch.

Excuse me.

What do you do,

Frank?

You're looking

at it, pal.

I just party,

party, party. That's me.

In fact,

last week

I was out drinking with,

uh, Tom Brokaw.

Guy loves to drink.

I'll tell you, he really...

Really.

Mm-hmm.

Well, last summer,

James and I went camping

with Dan Rather.

Oh, really?

Well, Roz blew

Peter Jennings. Top that.

Yeah. Yep.

Uh...

See you later.

Rich, pretentious bastard.

Could... could we... just...

Frank, would you

do me a favor?

What?

Oh!

I'm going to see if I can stay with

Janice for a while.

But Janice hates you,

though.

No, Frank,

Janice hates you.

You want to go see Cats,

we'll go see Cats.

Frank, it's like talking

to a cross-town bus with you.

You want to know

the problem?

I'm 30. You are 35.

We've spent seven years together,

and what have we accomplished?

Nothing. We got no... no house.

We got no kids.

We got no money.

And as of today,

we got no car.

I'm sitting here

wondering,

what do you have

planned for the next seven years?

I rest my case.

All right?

♪ Once upon a time ♪

♪ You gave

your love to me ♪

♪ Now we've grown apart ♪

♪ Wish I knew ♪

♪ How to love you ♪

♪ Wish I knew ♪

♪ How to make you mine ♪

♪ Seems the harder

that I try ♪

♪ You run from me ♪

♪ Well, I guess I'll ♪

♪ Never hold you again ♪

♪ The times

we shared together ♪

♪ Were like a dream

come true ♪

♪ But now my life

is empty ♪

♪ Without a-holdin' you ♪

♪ My mind is so confused♪

Hon? What

are you doing?

I'm waiting

for a cab.

What, are you...

painting?

Yep.

Why? Is there a law against it,

Officer Porkavitch?

Well...

I mean, wh...

what do you think,

you just...

wake up one day

and start painting?

I mean... you know, you got to go

to school for this.

I mean...

Well, what are you,

uh...

what are you...

painting?

I don't know.

See? That's why people

go to the class and...

Where you going?

Evan invited me to go horseback riding.

You're not invited.

Honey, you know, you've been getting

way too much sun.

You're going to get

one of them things.

What things?

Those things

that, uh,

Reagan had

in his ass.

Ha ha!

God, Frank, you

are something else.

Uh... uhh!

O... K.

Gahh.

Sorry.

Sorry.

Stay...

doggie.

Uh...

Uh...

Uh...

Hi.

Ah.

Am I doing

this right?

I feel like I'm flopping

all over the place.

Well,

you are a bit.

Ha ha ha!

O.K. Well,

what do I do?

I got to look good

doing this.

I don't know. You look pretty good

to me. How do you feel?

I feel, uh...

Come on. Hyah!

I feel pretty good!

Here! Here's your money.

Too bad about

your girlfriend.

Huh?

Girls really like

Mr. Marsh a lot.

What would you

know about it?

A lot, actually.

You want to see?

See what?

Come on.

Uhh!

I don't

believe this!

These things

don't break down.

That's why they

cost so much.

You must've done

something wrong.

Yeah, I did something wrong.

I hired Frank.

Ho-oh. What's this?

- I got to feed my fish.

- Watch out for snakes.

Oh, no, Beano,

not the truck.

I only left it

for a few minutes.

A few minutes

too long.

It's not my fault.

Who'd be stupid enough

to steal

a cement truck?

I always wanted to ride in one

of these things.

Move your

legs, Fitzie.

Watch my balls,

you fag!

Fag?

I'm just curious.

Shut up!

What do you say

we get some tunes going?

Damn. The radio's

broken.

Oh, I didn't go

to college.

Where we're from,

you don't really go to college.

People go to college

from New Jersey.

But in the neighborhood

I'm from, you basically have kids.

You... get married...

hang out

in the neighborhood.

You know. You don't

really go anywhere.

How old are you?

None of your business.

You don't ask someone how old they are.

I think you're

the sexiest woman I've ever met.

You don't get out

much, do you?

What are all

these videotapes?

Those are surveillance

videos of everybody on the island.

I have people

picking their nose,

sitting on the toilet,

having affairs, and farting.

- I can blackmail people beyond their...

- What's going on in here?

This is my friend Frank. He's staying

at the Rappaports' house.

And why are you here?

Here...

In this room, here?

Um, I'm doing

his resume.

Yeah.

And, um, how long

were you at Burger King?

Two years.

Two years.

I see.

My nanny.

All right.

There he is.

Look at that

tonsil hockey going on.

When's this from?

Um...

two summers ago.

Great. A lot of good

it does me.

Oh, this is great!

This is way too easy.

And work out at the gym

or something.

You know.

Girls like muscles.

It was on

America Online recently.

They like muscles

and romantic dinners.

Kid, I'm, like, 35.

Don't you have friends your own age?

Yeah. I've got

plenty of friends.

Yeah? Where's

your parents?

- My mother in France with her boyfriend.

- And your father?

He's dead.

Oh.

Sorry.

It's O.K.

Well...

go eat your dinner.

O.K.

Eat all your spinach.

Girls like guys

with muscles, right?

Yeah, and they also

like romantic dinners, remember?

Here I come, fishies.

Nothing more romantic

than catching your own.

Yep.

Wow.

You can see them.

All right.

Yeah.

Whoa.

Whoa. Whoa. Ah...

Damn it.

Shit!

Fuckin' rocks.

Whoa!

Ooh.

Come here.

Come here.

Come... uh... here.

Jesus.

Hey...

Come on.

Oh, boy.

O.K.

Yeah.

O.K.

Yeah.

Easy as pie.

Come on, fishy.

Come on,

little fishy-fishy.

Yeah. Fuck you.

I'll be eating you

in half an hour.

Simple.

Look at that.

Uhh!

Aah!

Oh!

Ohh!

Oh!

Jeez!

Aah!

Aaahhh!

Ohh!

Ohh! Oh!

Jesus!

Uhh!

Ahhh!

Ohhh!

Whoo!

Yeah.

Oh, yeah?

Oh, yeah?

Yeah, pal?

Yeah.

Unh! Oh!

Shit.

Hello.

Hon?

Got a little

surprise for you.

Hi.

What are you doing?

You don't know how to cook.

Yeah? Don't know

how to fish, either, but...

hey.

You don't think this

is going to change anything, do you?

Well... at least

we won't be hungry.

O.K.

This stuff looks

pretty good.

O.K.

All right.

Dig in.

So, uh... when'd you

learn how to fish?

ESPN, you know.

They got a fishing show.

It's, like, a wrist thing.

It's, like, a little whip.

Must've been a...

bottom feeder.

So... um...

how's the painting going?

Good. L... I think

I'm, uh, finished... I think.

Yeah?

Mm-hmm.

Well...

What?

Can I see it?

No.

Come on.

Please?

You really

want to see it?

Yeah. I mean,

you know. Um...

What do you think?

Wow. It's, um...

it's unbelievable. L...

Do you like it?

You really

painted this.

Yeah.

Wow.

It's, uh...

I know, I know.

I really surprised myself.

Yeah, I'll bet.

It's a boat, right?

Mm-hmm.

I like the, um...

blues and the, uh...

greens and...

It's very, um...

Messy.

Well, that's not...

that's not the point.

The point is, how does it

make you feel?

Well, it, um...

makes me feel like l...

I wish it was...

a little, um... neater.

Well, this is my point of view.

This is how I see it.

If that's

your point of view,

maybe you should

get some... glasses.

L... I'm... O.K., wait.

Sit down and

have some fish.

It was a joke.

Fish.

You know what, Frank?

You are narrow-minded.

You always see things

the same way.

That's why your life

is never going to change.

Right. And... and you're

a whole new person

just 'cause you slapped some paint

on a piece of cloth?

No. At least I want

to try new things.

I want to meet

new people. At least...

All you ever do

is go to Breen's

and get drunk with Tommy O'Shannahan,

and you guys gamble.

That's all you do.

Why don't we ever

go out with my friends?

You know,

you always do this.

You start one argument,

and then in the middle,

you shift gea...

We're talking about the painting,

and then suddenly

- we're talking about your friends.

- And?

It doesn't make sense.

It makes perfect sense,

Frank.

It makes perfect sense

to me.

It does?

Yeah.

Right.

Huh.

Uh, look...

you think you can just,

you know, change overnight?

Is that what you think?

No.

'Cause you can't.

O.K.?

You think, like, just because

you take, like,

a... a night course at

some community college

that that... like that's

going to make you different.

Well, it doesn't,

Roz, O.K.?

All right?

You know, we're not

like these people.

They have stuff we're

never going to have.

They have these houses. They have boats.

They have foreign cars.

They got money

in the bank.

You know?

They got privilege...

connections.

You're a cashier.

I'm a thief, honey.

That's the way it's

always going to be. O.K.?

People like us, see,

we don't even win the lottery,

for Christ's sake.

We're born

in little houses,

and we die

in little houses,

and... we got to find happiness

somewhere in between.

Well, Frank, if you want to die

in your little house,

you go right ahead, but I got

bigger things planned.

Honey?

Roz...

Look.

Uh... uh...

What?

What... l... what I was

trying to say...

Frank... I'm not blaming you,

all right?

I'm blaming me.

I'm blaming me,

because I knew that three,

four years ago,

what I wanted

from life

was completely different from

what you wanted...

but every time

I'd try to go,

you'd do something

absolutely great,

and I wouldn't

know how to go,

and now it's made it

all that much harder for me,

Frank, and I can't.

I can't anymore.

Seven Red Sox batters

retired in order...

What the hell

are you doing?

Reading the Bible.

The Bible? Jesus Christ!

Any big revelations?

Haven't got

to that yet.

Hey, Quinn,

bring me a beer!

Get him a beer.

"Out of the heart

of man precede evil thoughts."

The money

they're paying you,

you should get hit

by the pitch.

Beano, when are

we going home?

I got to feed my fish,

and my cat's sick,

and my mom is

kind of missing me.

Why ya here, Quinn?

Huh?

'Cause you drove me?

Ohhh...

Oh, my God!

No. Because

I promised your brother

I'd keep you

out of the joint.

Tomorrow at 5:00,

we'll meet the buyer

at that fish plant in Amahonsett.

We get our money.

You'll be home by Monday.

You can feed your little fishies

till their belly bursts.

Hey!

Oh!

You scared me.

Did you cook

her dinner?

Yeah.

And what happened?

Didn't go too well.

Put my big fat foot

in my mouth again.

Hey, could you teach me

how to catch eggs?

That was so cool,

what you did yesterday.

How about tomorrow?

Jeez, I can't.

I have a big day tomorrow.

Come on, please?

Five minutes.

Sorry, I just...

It's O.K.

Hey, you should

be getting home, shouldn't you?

It's kind of late.

You sound so much

like my mom.

Sorry.

I'm starving

to death.

There's a fuckin'

headline for ya.

Want me to go

warm up the truck?

Holy shit!

It's a cop car.

We're dead, Beano.

We're dead.

Shut up.

You been dead

for years.

Shut up.

When are we

eating?

Sh... Oh!

No, Beano! Don't!

No, Beano,

not a cop car!

Tell ya, these

cop cars are great.

Never sat

in the front before.

O.K., O.K.

Move around.

Circle.

That's it.

Move around.

So I don't really understand

the point of this.

Are we trying

to bore him to death?

Is that

the goal here?

No, you're just trying

to exercise the horse.

And do wha...

Mmm. Mmm.

Oh...

What is it?

Um...

it's, uh...

timing...

I guess.

Uh...

you're with the same guy

so many years,

you know, l...

Kind of puts

a wrench

in the old thing

there.

And you know,

I g... I g...

I'm leaving tonight, and I got...

I got a job, and...

I'm a cashier,

and...

I don't want

you to go.

Whoo.

Wow.

You know what?

L... I got to go.

But you know,

I'll call you later.

Yeah, I'll

call you later...

um... and we'll talk.

Roz?

Honey?

Holy shit.

Ha!

Stop it.

That's it. Look.

What?

- It's that painting.

- So?

So it's stolen.

Guy's an art thief.

I knew he was a liar

first time I met him.

Where's my camera?

This island's great.

Fresh air, and it's so quiet.

We should get

some mopeds.

That ferry

made me queasy.

I think I'm

going to puke.

Wait!

Yes.

Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah, Beano,

go for it!

Ice cream truck!

...house down to the...

to the old boatyard.

And Kenny...

O'Malley.

FBI.

Who's in charge?

Hands above your head.

Please?

Ohh.

Shh. Shh.

The sheriff's

in your house,

and he's got

your girlfriend.

Hey, kid.

Do me a favor?

What you've done

is very serious.

Breaking and entering,

trespassing...

and I wouldn't be

surprised

if you'd stolen

from them, too.

Excuse me.

Oh. You bet.

He's upstairs.

Hey!

Ugh.

Here's the painting,

O.K.?

O.K., so?

So, it's...

stolen.

Says right here,

"never recovered."

O.K. What?

Stolen painting,

his house...

Oh, Frank. I've seen...

I've seen a thousand

Mona Lisas,

and I never thought

that they were stolen.

Let's go.

Unh.

You all right?

Fine. I fell myself.

I can take care

of myself.

Pardon me, ma'am.

Yes?

Could you tell us where

there's a fish plant?

Uh, yes, but it's

been closed,

oh, about 23 years now.

Oh, we know that, ma'am.

Uh, but we have some,

uh, business.

What kind of business?

Uh, we're delivering

ice cream.

Takes four of you

to deliver ice cream?

It can get very heavy.

I hope you're not

lifting with your back.

You're supposed

to bend at the knees.

That explains my disk.

See, I've got

this herniated disk.

Cut the shit

and find out where

the fucking

fish plant is!

Language, language.

I've been trying

to tell them.

What is this?

You really like this guy,

or is it money or what?

I don't know, Frank.

He talks to me.

I don't...

he just talks to me.

He listens to me.

He tells me how he feels.

You never ever

talk to me, Frank.

What do you mean?

I don't feel important

to you, Frank.

I don't.

How could you say that?

I don't feel important.

He makes me

feel important.

When I'm around him,

I feel like

if I left

I'd be important.

I don't feel

important to you.

Well, honey,

I'm not the, uh...

I'm not like...

the kind of guy that,

you know...

that says a lot

of the stuff that...

that I feel, you know.

I mean, stop talking

about the stuff I talk about.

Talk about the stuff

that I do.

Like remember that time

we broke up in '88?

Remember that?

Yeah, Frank.

You agreed to do that.

I know, I know.

I thought it was...

What?

That it would be good.

I thought it would be

a big party

and then me

and McFadden chipped in

and we got those, uh,

box seats behind the dugout,

for the playoffs...

Frank, I know all this,

all right?

That's all that you

talked about

the entire summer,

all right? You...

That's one of the reasons

we broke up.

I know, I know.

The tickets

were $2,000.

But I never even went.

I gave the tickets

to McFadden's cousin.

I never went.

I never even ended up

watching the games on TV

at the house.

Why didn't you go?

Why didn't you tell me

that you didn't go?

Just fucking baseball,

you know?

Frank.

Come on.

Mmm.

Smells delightful

in here.

Did you pick this place?

No. This is the place

he said to come to.

What time is it?

10 after 5:00.

Who is it?

Frank?

Beano.

You got the painting?

I got the painting,

you scumbag.

Don't bitch at me, pal.

You're the retard

that screwed us over!

It's 10 after 5:00.

Where's the buyer?

You keep your

big mouth shut.

Don't talk to my girlfriend

like that, Beano.

Ex-girlfriend,

thank you.

Eh?

Come on. Give me it.

I don't want to hurt you.

No, no.

Give it, give it!

Give it to me!

Give it back!

Careful. Careful.

It's a priceless

masterpiece.

Holy shit!

What was that?

Sounded like a gunshot.

You think we should

go help Beano?

Where's the painting?

Aw. Don't tell me...

Hey. Somebody's coming.

Must be the buyer.

Frank, I'm blind. Frank?

Frank, I'm going to kill you.

Frank, he locked the door.

Oh, get Frank to open it.

He's good

at that stuff.

Go on.

Move it, move it!

It's raining.

So what?

O.K. O.K.

This is way too easy.

Once again,

I do not know this man.

I do not know nothing

about no stolen painting.

I am a businessman

from Boston

here on vacation

on this

beautiful island.

Put him back

in the cell.

I want a lawyer. I know my rights.

Ooh!

Take it easy with him.

Bring the woman out.

I'm going to remind you

that you may, if you wish,

have legal counsel

present.

If you answer

my questions...

Leave her out of it.

You shut up.

Your cooperation

will be noted,

blah, blah, blah,

blah, blah.

Now...

what did you do

with that painting?

You can make this

easy on yourself.

Where is the painting?

O.K. Fine.

What were you doing

in a fish plant?

She doesn't

know anything.

I told you to shut up,

goddamn it!

Sweetheart...

I've seen guys like this

all my life.

They're all headed

for the same place.

Spending his life pulling

these nickel-and-dime jobs,

waiting for

the big payday.

Well...

this is it.

The big score.

Huh?

Welcome to easy street.

Well, listen to me.

You can piss

your life away

on a small-time loser

like this,

or you can do

what you know

is the right thing.

Now, what do you say,

huh?

Hmm?

What are you

going to do?

I did it.

I stole the painting.

Roz had nothing

to do with it.

She's too smart.

Actually, she tried

to talk me out of it,

but I wouldn't listen.

So...

I stole the painting

and, uh,

Beano set everything up

with the buyer,

and then the buyer

ripped us off

at the fish plant.

You blabbermouth!

Ooh!

Ow-ow!

I still don't have

the painting

or the buyer.

Well...

if she walks,

I can get you

the painting

and the guy

who bought it.

This is really bad.

Hey. Why don't we

do like a...

like a jailbreak?

You know, like in

the cowboy movies?

You know, we could

get a rope,

tie it to the bars,

then pull out.

Beano could come out

the window.

Did your parents

hold you underwater a lot

when you were

a baby?

Jesus.

Well, you have

a better idea?

You know...

I've had

just about enough.

Enough of you.

Enough of your

disgusting habits.

I ask you not to curse,

you curse.

Fuck you!

I ask you not to smoke,

you smoke.

I ask you not to pass gas,

all you do...

Pffllt! Pfft!

Hey, I got

a gastrotestical

intestinal disease,

man!

The question is...

what would Beano do?

He'd be thinking of his own ass

and getting out of here

as soon as he could.

This is ridiculous.

Mr. Marsh is a highly

respected resident.

You can't barge in

without a warrant.

I'll do whatever

the fuck I want.

I'm the goddamn FBI.

Take me to the door,

man, and shut up.

Your call.

Princess Caraboo

or Gremlins.

Hello there.

Sorry to disturb you,

Mr. Marsh.

Agent O'Malley, FBI.

We're investigating

the theft of a painting

in Rhode Island

a couple of days ago.

I wonder if you could

let us in

for a quick look

around your house.

Uh... yeah.

I don't understand.

Where do I fit

into all this?

At this stage,

you don't.

We'd like to eliminate

any likely possibilities.

It's not there.

It was right there.

I saw on the videotape.

Mm-hmm. Right.

It's got to be here.

O.K., Frank.

I've had enough

of this bullshit.

I'm taking you...

Frank, come on,

man! Frank!

Frank!

Frank, what are you doing?

You're not getting away,

you know.

There's no way

out of here.

Shit. Not in there.

I'm not trying

to get away.

I'm looking, O.K.?

Do I look like

I'm trying to get away?

Uh-huh.

- Wow.

- See?

They're all here, sir.

What'd I tell you?

If I missed my guess...

Mmm. A Matisse...

Hmm.

Hmm.

Shit.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Reproductions.

Well, yes.

What did you expect?

Mind leaving

my house now?

Nice plastering job,

nimrod.

Oh, yes.

These are real.

Congratulations, sir.

You've done it.

You're something else,

honey.

Jeffrey.

I need you now.

I need you now!

Get here now,

or I get another lawyer.

I'm getting

another lawyer.

This isn't a problem.

I can get out of this.

You are amazing.

You are an amazing

piece of garbage, you know that?

You are. You know what?

You're worse than Beano

and McFadden

and all those guys.

You know why?

Because they might be

liars, deadbeats, and scumbags,

but they'd never pretend to be

anything they're not.

Know what your

problem is?

What?

I get a lot of girls

want to fuck their way

into all this,

but I liked you...

but you don't know

what you want.

So, you're stuck with

your deadbeat moron of a boyfriend.

I'm sorry, excuse me?

Your boyfriend,

what's his name?

His name is Frank!

Why can't people

remember that name?

What did you

hit him with?

Um, right hook.

So...

how propitious.

I had a hunch once.

A guy robbed

an art museum

then faked

his own death.

No suspects...

no evidence...

the paintings

never even turned up.

Burke, put Phil the Shill

in the car.

Yes, sir.

Come on, loser.

Sheriff.

Uncuff them.

You got to be kidding.

No. We're letting

them go.

I ought to put you

on the payroll.

O.K. Here's the deal.

You agree to make

a statement

and testify in court,

and we'll drop all

the charges against you.

Here's my card.

9:00 tomorrow morning...

pal.

Thank you.

We'll be there.

That means up

at like 7:00.

How's 10:00?

Frank. Frank.

The way you work,

you might as well

be wearing a badge.

I think

you'd make

a very handsome

cop.

Honey.

The key

to catching eggs...

O.K.

Is soft hands, O.K.?

That's all you

got to remember.

Soft hands.

You know Jerry Rice...

plays for the 49ers?

Um, yeah.

You know how he catches?

Even on a bullet pass.

Nice, soft hands.

Let it drop. Ready?

- O.K.

- O.K.

Got it.

Not bad. Not bad.

O.K. I'm ready.

Now, underhanded.

We need to get

a higher one.

Nice high one.

It's harder. Ready?

Oh.

Ugh.

Yup.

Coming back?

Got to keep

working on it.

Coming back?

I don't think so.

But, uh, who knows?

Maybe, if you're

ever in Boston,

you can come

visit us.

Yeah. That'd be great.

So, I was thinking

that tomorrow morning

after we do

this FBI stuff,

we could go down to

your sister's place, you know?

Make a weekend

out of it.

A little sun...

a little surf.

What?

Do you love me, Frank?

Of course I do.

All right, then raise

your right hand.

What do you mean?

Do it.

Like this?

Yeah. Thank you

very much.

Now repeat after me.

I, Francis Michael

O'Brien...

I, Frank O'Brien...

swear...

swear...

that I will

get a job...

pay taxes,

and settle down

like a normal

human being.

What kind of job?

Bye-bye.

O.K., O.K.

I swear I will

get a job.

O.K.?

Promise.

And quit smoking?

Honey,

I quit smoking.

- Bye-bye.

- O.K., O.K.

I will...

"I will..."

I can't hear you.

I swear I will

quit smoking.

On your mother's eyes?

Honey, unh...

O.K.

I swear

on my mother's eyes

that I will do

all the things

that you just

asked me to do.

What?

What?

Sweetie.

O.K., sweetie...

Ha ha.

No need to see...

just kiss me.

Feel your way

to the bay.

♪ I could leave you

like that ♪

♪ Just walk out

the door ♪

♪ Never come back ♪

♪ I could stay ♪

♪ For my life ♪

♪ With you by my side ♪

♪ And I might call it ♪

♪ Always ♪

♪ I could ask you

to change ♪

♪ To be someone else ♪

♪ The one

that I dreamed of ♪

♪ But I ♪

♪ Could hope

that in time ♪

♪ We both find our way ♪

♪ At the end of a day ♪

♪ You love ♪

♪ Who you love ♪

♪ And if ♪

♪ The waves ♪

♪ Churn storms

on the ocean ♪

♪ And if the skies ♪

♪ Grow dark with rain ♪

♪ We will see it

through ♪

♪ Clear waters ♪

♪ If each of us ♪

♪ If each of us ♪

♪ Gives just

a little more ♪

♪ Hey, babe ♪

♪ I could say ♪

♪ That we

were through ♪

♪ And just sail away ♪

♪ To find someone new ♪

♪ Ohhh ♪

♪ All my words ♪

♪ Would be lies ♪

♪ We both know

what's true ♪

♪ At the end

of the day ♪

♪ You love ♪

♪ Who you love ♪

♪ If the waves ♪

♪ Churn storms

on the ocean ♪

♪ And if the skies ♪

♪ Grow dark with rain ♪

♪ We will see it ♪

♪ Through clear waters ♪

♪ If each of us ♪

♪ If each of us ♪

♪ Can give just

a little more ♪

♪ Ohhh-uhh-huh ♪

♪ Just a little more ♪

♪ Ohh, baby ♪

♪ We will ♪

♪ See it through ♪

♪ Clear waters ♪

♪ If each of us ♪

♪ If each of us ♪

♪ Can give ♪

♪ Just a little more ♪

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