Twelfth Night (2001) - full transcript
Take that!
Take that!
Get off!
Born in Bethlehem...
We'll protect him...
The little king...
No harm may come to him.
Come on, let's dance.
What are you doing?
Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas.
Peace unto all.
CHRISTMAS CRACKER
A PlayStation 2...
I want a PlayStation 2...
It was hard getting
away from my mom
- in the shop.
- What'v e you got?
Only the best.
Bangers,
firecrackers,
Chinese farts,
rockets,
boomers,
stink bombs...
Rubbish.
That's no good to me.
And...
- A Christmas 7!
- A Christmas 7.
Delayed action,
double ignition phase,
range 10 meters, bursts
through 360 degrees
acoustic annulment,
and a surprise ending.
- How?
- I don't know.
It's different ev ery time.
Commandos II,
Quake IV,
Tomb Raider
and as it's Christmas,
Tekken Tournament.
Thanks.
What presents did you ask
the Three Wise Men for?
Don't be stupid.
The Three Wise Men don't exist.
Yeah... I knew that.
Teresita!
- Your mom!
- Lucía. Hurry up.
Teresa...
Tell your friends
to come to me for copies.
Ok.
Watch out with the Christmas 7.
- I'm going to drop it!
- I saw a shooting star.
Did you?
Very nice, darling.
Is that ev erything?
Did you wish on it?
Get in, get in.
It's really late.
In the back.
- Did you send my letter?
- Yes.
- I asked for a PlayStation 2.
- Ask your dad.
I'm Ernesto Cuspineda, I own an air
conditioning company with no future.
My wife adores me,
I hav e 2 wonderful kids,
and a girlfriend I can't afford.
And I can't afford this house
or this neighborhood.
But that's okay.
The Three Wise Men come tonight!
And tonight my firm Refrigerasa
merges with Okamura Electronics
and I become Europe's leading
air-conditioning manufacturer.
What?
You won't sign, Mr. Okamura?
The Portuguese offer's better?
I smell bad?
No...
Don't leav e, Mr. Okamura, please...
Don't leav e...
Please don't...
Tomorrow I'll start
paying my bills again.
Damn it!
Where are
those women?
Hi, this is Jaime... or not Jaime...
Or Jaimlet... or Romeo.
Or Sigismund,
and my life's a dream...
Or Prince...
I would kiss thee
with my poison...
Marta?
Jaime?
Who's Jaime
and what's all this
- kissing?
- Dad!
Hang up, dad.
This is a priv ate conv ersation.
You hang up.
You hang up, dad!
I'm using the phone!
Child!
And you can shut up...
I am not a child.
Please, please, sav e me...
Please, please...
- Where are you?
- Here.
Looking at your great legs.
I was getting worried.
The shops were full...
- Did you get the tie?
- Yes.
Post my letter?
That color...
I think it suits you...
Where's my jacket?
Teresita,
- take this up to daddy.
- To Ernesto.
Go and get ready and giv e this
- to your sister.
- Why can't she come down?
Because.
TO THE THREE WISE MEN
For God's sake, Jaime!
Pick it up!
Hurry up, pissass.
The folks are in a hurry.
Get lost, shrimp!
Tell dad I'm not going
- to that stupid dinner.
- Good!
Dad'll kill you
and I'll get your room.
Get lost!
And hands off!
Hi, this is...
I'll get it!
Don't you dare!
I'm coming!
It's Jaime!
Shall I answer?
No!
Are you sure?
He'll ring off.
- Giv e me that phone!
- Say please.
Giv e me that phone!
Please.
Giv e it to me... now!
You stupid fool,
I'll kill you.
Open the door!
Open the door!
What?
Well, if you like it...
Hav e you seen my jacket?
I'll iron it out a little.
There's no time.
Giv e it here.
- It's all creased.
- No.
- Giv e it here.
- It's not necessary.
Yes, it is!
No, it isn't!
- Let go!
- Let go!
I'll put the grey one on.
It's at the cleaner's.
Don't worry, Ernesto.
I'll sew it up quickly.
Teresita, leav e
your sister alone!
When you come out,
I'll kill you.
Come out here!
Open up!
LO VE
- In your face!
- Nev er mind.
He shut the door in your face.
Don't get upset. I'm not.
- But...
- Don't get upset.
Now, Agustín,
the fourth v erse...
What are you doing?
I'm cold and hungry. And dressed
like this tonight of all nights!
This job is shit!
Oh, come on.
Dad, if you had...
Where are those two?
- What?
- Nothing.
About time too!
Wait for me.
You're always last.
- Hey!
- Next time, I'll kill you.
What's going on there?
- Teresa.
- Tonight's a big night. All in?
So behav e like a normal family.
Ev erybody happ y, ok?
- Clean your face.
- Marta, Trifino will be there...
Trifino!
Trifino, beware, beware.
Clean your face!
The Garriga kid!
Fantastic!
Marta.
He's a mommy's boy and a freak.
He's proud he's a Garriga.
His breath stinks
- a mile away.
- Marta prefers Jaime.
Who's Jaime?
Yes, who is he?
- Nobody.
- He was a tree
- in the school play.
- He wasn't.
He was the spirit of the forest.
Anyway, tonight
he's got a bigger part.
What as?
A flower pot?
In any case, be nice
to Trifino.
He's my partner and a friend.
Tonight all must be perfect.
NOEL. ES
MESSAGES AND ALLELUYAS
Yes.
Okay. Yes, yes, yes, yes...
We'v e giv en them all presents.
The father, the mother...
The little girl too. Yes, yes.
Who do I giv e the other one to?
- Her!
- Her!
What? No, it's
the same person twice.
Ask the name? Whose?
Hey, can you tell us
what your surname is?
Now let's see, Agustín.
Where did you come to?
Where we were told.
Piamonte Estate,
13th Street, 3rd house on the left.
- On the left?
- The left.
Which is your left?
Same as ev erybody else's.
There.
- And which way did we come?
- That way.
So your left is?
Okay, fine.
Let's get this done.
Look, Benito...
I'm sorry.
This job brings out
the worst in me.
Beni, it's a mistake
anybody could make.
REFRIGERASA,
HEAT AND COOL YO UR HOME
What do you think?
About what?
All this.
What do you think?
Will this nev er end?
Finish up, ladies and gentlemen.
Maitre...
the dessert and drinks.
Mr. Okamura,
let's get ready
to sign. Cecilia,
come with me.
Lucía, look after the guests.
Girls, behav e.
Okamura-san...
Ike-san...
He pronounced it right.
Amazing.
Good for him.
At least
I'll hav e three hours
to rest before we go back to Tokyo.
Yes.
There's your boyfriend.
Shut up!
Hello there, Mrs. Cuspineda.
Trifino, at last...
Ernest wondered where you were.
I was tied up,
getting things ready for tonight.
How's the family?
They're v ery happ y for you
and the big occasion.
Thank you.
Hello, Marta.
- Trifino...
- Happ y?
Ov er the moon.
What a night.
After tonight all will change.
The future
lies before us and I...
I feel... selfish,
because I want to be
part of what this Christmas has
brought. I want to be... well,
if you're patient,
you'll see.
What do you mean?
All right...
I'll giv e you a clue.
You'v e got... v ery good taste.
Well...
As I said,
tonight will be v ery...
v ery special.
Look, kid.
If you don't mind, this is
a priv ate conv ersation.
Don't I get anything?
Later.
Later.
I want to be part of tonight too.
Now stop bothering us, okay?
Er, thanks.
Not that I need it as much as
some people I know.
Will you just shut your face!
You'v e got your present,
hav en't you?
So we present the new logo,
link up with Osaka, sign...
- I know.
- These people don't like surprises.
Well, if they're going
to work with us...
It'll all be okay.
- My 13 percent's at stake.
- 13? You mean 7.
- We agreed on 13.
- 7. We said that in my office.
8 in the National Hotel...
10 in Sev ille, behind the stand...
13 coming back
from Tokyo... in the taxi.
What taxi?
What taxi!
You spoke to your wife as I was...
- Ah, yes.
- Yes.
In the taxi.
Thirteen, right?
You promised.
- What's this?
- Nothing. Giv e it here.
Giv e it back.
It's lov ely!
And you didn't say a word!
You can be v ery generous
when you want.
Look, let's get
things ov er with here,
take the Japs to the hotel,
and I'll giv e you your present.
I'm going to the bathroom.
Don't start without me.
- Merry Christmas, Mrs. Cuspineda.
- Thanks, Celia.
How's ev erything?
I can't wait to finish.
I understand.
Ernesto's unbearable.
Tonight's his big night.
Let him suffer a bit...
I could hav e killed him tonight,
but I found out
he had a surprise for me.
That's nice.
And now I feel guilty.
Like some schoolgirl.
He's bought me a...
Yes?
Don't feel guilty.
It's their duty
to be nice to us.
Anyway...
see you later.
- Mom, can I ask you a question?
- Not now, dear.
Between something you didn't want
but was good for you,
and something you wanted
but was no good for you,
what'd you choose?
Ask your father.
He manages to hav e it all.
Thanks for nothing, mom!
My dear friends,
another year has passed
and Refrigerasa is still our home.
This year there's
good news for the firm.
I don't care
what fucking night it is,
deliv er the message tonight!
Get here right now!
There's more great news
from Japan.
And it's called
Okamura Electronics.
Our new partners
will make us leaders
in the air-conditioning field.
We're going to build the biggest,
most modern
air-conditioning unit factory...
We'll be Number One in Europe.
And this is our man...
Okamura-san.
Welcome to our country,
Mr. Okamura.
And now,
our new plant!
Our name's gone!
And our new workmates,
the Yamamamuda 7000...
Robots!
They can assemble a unit
in just fiv e minutes.
Mr. Okamura,
let us now formalize relations.
I didn't come here
for you to humiliate me
in front of ev erybody!
That's right.
Flaunting that bitch
in front of me!
You can pack your bags tonight.
I want a div orce.
A div orce.
Whore!
No, I'll keep your bags too.
Ev erything...
The girls,
your bags.
What?
Well...
I want ev erything!
Where are you,
you coward?
Mr. Okamura,
I'm so sorry.
Are you okay?
Come out and sign the div orce.
That got rid of the robots!
The contract, please!
Lucía, let's talk it ov er.
Celia, translate!
"Don't feel guilty, Mrs. Cuspineda!"
- Hypocrite!
- You can't driv e!
Where's dad?
Teresa!
Marta,
get in the car.
How could I be so stupid?
- Teresa, will you get in the car!
- I am in.
Oh, sorry, dear.
Take them to the hotel,
I'll see you there.
Earn your 13%.
And don't
let them leav e!
- Mr. Cuspineda.
- What?
Your shortest route is v ia junction
12 and the northbound highway.
Ev erything'll be ok, Trifino.
What about Marta?
Ev erything'll be okay.
- Mom, that's dad!
- Exactly.
Mom, stop!
Run me down if it'll
make you feel better.
Get in!
Marta?
- Looks like he got stood up.
- Don't stop to ask. Let's go!
Hey, you fools!
Fools?
Yeah, clowns. Come here.
You're stupid.
Don't get upset.
- Agustín!
- Where hav e you been?
Agustín!
Take junction 12.
My father'll kill me!
Our relationship
is a purely professional one.
I bet.
She prov ides
the nut for your bolt!
A little bolt at that!
- Yeah, a little bolt.
- Not in front of the girls!
My girls!
Mom, you'll kill us all!
You're not their father anymore.
They're mine!
Stop!
You're in no state to driv e!
He's right. Stop!
Marta, dear,
your mother is quite capable...
Thanks for all
the years of happiness
and trust you gav e me.
You can get your things and go.
- I want a div orce.
- But...
A div orce.
D-l-V-O-R-C-E.
A div orce?
Please, let
ev erything get fix ed.
Let ev erything get fix ed.
Right, right, right!
Don't start again!
J UNCTION 12
And what's your part in all this?
No sign of them.
- You don't say!
- No matter.
- Let's get ready. Flowers?
- Yes.
Confetti?
- Confetti.
- Present?
- In-the-mobile.
- What?
- In the Noelmobile.
- Perfect. We'll
- make the deliv ery and get on home.
- Home!
We hav en't got a home.
Child!
Are you out of your mind?
What?
I demand...
I demand an explanation...
Now!
Marta's pregnant.
- What's that got to with it?
- She's pregnant.
- What!
- What!
A pig, mom!
- You too, darling?
- A pig in the road!
To the right, Benito!
I can't see!
The other right?
Where are you going?
Home! Home!
Mess... message for the Cuspinedas.
- See how I got rid of him?
- Yes.
- Breathe deeply, dear.
- What...
happened?
Ev erybody okay?
Where were you?
Lock the doors!
Lucía,
- where are we going?
- How should I know? Want me to ask?
J ust stop.
Mom, stop!
There we are.
We'v e stopped.
Now what?
Very good, Lucía.
Very good.
Well, can't you fix the car?
Some engineer!
Do something, call
the breakdown serv ice.
Anyone seen my phone?
Marta?
- Here, dad.
- Thank you.
I wanted to talk to Jaime.
Who are you calling?
You're calling her, aren't you?
They can call
a garage from the hotel.
So that woman will call a garage
and solv e this problem?
You'd put your family's liv es
in her hands?
Your daughters' liv es?
Your grandchild's?
Is that what you want?
Ernesto, call
a breakdown serv ice, a taxi,
a gynaecologist, the Three Wise Men.
Anything, but not her!
Get us out of here!
Hello?
Who is it?
What do you mean
I'v e called you 100 times?
Jaime! Jaime! Come and get us!
We're lost...
the car's wrecked,
my folks are getting div orced
and we'v e been attacked
by a freak in a Santa Claus suit!
Sav e me!
- The M50, junction 12!
- M50, junction 12!
Now, Jaime. Jaime,
that's your name, right?
This is Ernesto Cuspineda,
Marta's father...
So now he knows your name.
I spoke to him nicely.
I spoke nicely to the boy
who got my daughter pregnant.
So now, we'll
recharge the phone and then
call the breakdown serv ice.
Then I'll call Celia
about the Japanese.
And if that Jaime comes,
I'll kill him.
Is that clear?
Get out, come on, girls!
Come on, quick, quick, come on!
- Come on!
- Dad!
Dad! Dad!
Got your phone?
Let's get out of here first.
Will you be able
to manage on your own
until you sign the div orce?
Giv e me that.
Here, dear,
it's v ery cold.
We go to Osaka in two hours.
Okamura-san wants nothing
to do with you, ev er again.
Mr. Cuspineda must be trying
to get in touch. Please,
I need to speak to Okamura-san.
Please don't insist.
It's no use...
Ike, you're drunk.
What is she doing?
Mr. Okamura, you can't go...
Shit!
Don't follow me!
Help! Help!
Don't chase me!
Go away!
PHONE UNDER LOCAL
NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH SURVEILLANCE
Hello?
Hello?
Is anybody there?
Hello... we need help.
- Put this on.
- No.
- Yes.
- No. Here.
Look a light!
At last.
Now let's see.
- Open the door!
- Is anybody there?
Help... please!
- Open the door!
- Hello?
- Help!
- Help, please!
We saw the light...
Open the door!
You keep your distance.
- Fiv e meters.
- That's ridiculous.
Fiv e meters!
I can't protect you then.
Who needs protecting by you?
Go on, go on...
Start mov ing back.
That's better.
One...
two...
If it was that ring...
The biggest mistake
I ev er made was marrying you.
I can explain
about the ring.
Sure you can!
She was only trying it on...
I'm not stupid.
Open the door!
Open the door!
Hello?
Hello? Hello? Can you hear me?
Is there anybody there?
Mom!
Stay there!
Can anybody hear me?
Hello?
Well, well...
Working
- ov ertime?
- Of course.
Tonight,
we Three Wise Men hav e a lot
to do.
I'm Melchior,
King Melchior.
The Wise Men don't exist.
Hurry up, the night
is short. Where
the hell is that snowball?
You're common thiev es.
Why aren't you
at home waiting for us?
Why should I?
There's enough here
for ev eryone.
Hey, kid!
We'll all take
what we want, okay?
You'd better go home
- to your folks.
- Teresa!
Who are you?
Who do you think we are?
Teresa, come here.
Let her go, foreigner.
Foreigner?
What did you say?
Melchior,
take the kid.
Giv e her something.
Come here.
Let's look for something nice.
Silent night...
holy night...
Then where do
the presents come from?
- The adults' credit card.
- What do you mean?
Who told you that?
Hey, Teresa,
are your folks rich?
SUFFER LITTLE CHILDREN
TO COME UNTO ME
With 16-bit sound.
An analogical digital conv ertor?
And you can see films on DVD?
A PlayStation!
It's a silent night for Balthasar.
All together now.
Shit!
Hurry up, we're leav ing.
J ust a minute.
Let me hav e a go now...
I hav e to go.
All right.
Please...
Take us to a taxi rank or a station.
Why, if you'v e got no money?
Take us home...
- Is it too much to ask?
- Are you crazy?
If I take you home,
I'll rob the place.
That's incitement, that is.
Incitement aforethought.
What kind
of person are you?
You're a bad one.
And you're a shit.
Shame on you!
A daughter ov er 8 years old,
who doesn't believ e in the Wise Men.
I need some shoes.
You're useless!
I'll look for some inside.
Hurry up!
What's my size?
Work it out for yourself!
J ust tell me the number.
Jaime!
- Jaime!
- Taxi! Taxi! Taxi!
Jaime!
The one who got
my daughter pregnant?
Kill him later.
You came for me!
It's been horrible.
- But now...
- I'm glad to see you too.
I'm gladder than you.
Folks, this is Jaime.
- Hello.
- Hello.
Pleased to...
What's the matter?
Marta!
Tell you later.
13th Street, Piamonte Estate,
then the Hotel Villamagna.
The Piamonte Estate...
Now that's...
Between Mirasierra
and Cerro Mediano.
I'll direct you.
Yes, that rings a bell.
Let's hav e a look...
Take the M50
and I'll direct you.
Piamonte Estate...
Yes...
I'll tell you where to go!
J ust start the engine.
Let's go.
Right.
Hav e you got the money for the fare?
I'll pay you
- when we get there, okay?
- That's what
- the kid said.
- I didn't want to stop for money.
Marta was in trouble.
And poor too!
I'll pay when we get there.
So you hav en't got any money?
Want me to show you?
Yes.
There's no need.
I'll take your word for it.
Good.
- What's up?
- I can't take you.
Why not?
There's fiv e of you.
I can only take four.
- Who would know?
- There's no-one to see.
- That's not the point.
- Do it for Christmas.
We'll say we're going
to the maternity ward.
No-one will see us.
That's enough.
Your name's Jaime, right?
Out!
Me? I'v e got
a play to perform.
Didn't you come to rescue
my daughter? Out of the car.
- Dad!
- It's logical, I suppose.
I'll get out, not out of obedience
but because of your plight,
and in the face of such cunning
callousness. Adieu, my lov e.
- God!
- Thank you.
Marta, darling!
- Get back in.
- No!
Marta, get in!
- No!
- Marta, get back in!
All right, all right.
Marta, get in!
Hey, my little doggie.
No! Please, don't go!
Don't go!
Come back here!
Come back here!
Jaime's got a phone.
- Right?
- Your dad fused
the battery.
What shall we do now?
It's all your fault.
I hav e to be at the theater
in one hour.
Get him out of my sight
or I'll kill him!
You had this coming.
You asked for it.
And you,
fill him in. Come on, dear.
Are your folks crazy or what?
Good ev ening.
Paella and tripe.
A nice Christmas present.
I'm looking for
a Japanese friend.
He lost
his key,
Hav e you seen him?
I don't recall...
Ask in reception.
Thanks.
- Another freak.
- Straight out of freaks v ille.
Go on then.
But eas y does it, eh?
Don't want to scare him.
Hey!
Break a leg, partner.
He's probably got
his family's heads in those sacks.
Good ev ening.
Doesn't look like
you'v e had one.
Are you all right?
Where shall I start?
At the beginning,
right?
Where are we?
Shepherds, ice
has come to Bethlehem!
- Alleluya!
- Alleluya!
St. Joseph!
St. Joseph!
Where the hell were you?
Can you take these into town?
No. I'd rather be dead.
That's that then.
Call your partner.
- Thank you.
- Show him the phone.
He'll manage.
I'v e got to find Mary.
Follow him.
Hurry up!
It's time for my play.
Take it eas y.
I wouldn't dare depriv e
the Classics of a comic like you.
Hey,
the phone, please!
Telephone?
Ex cuse me.
Put him on.
Yes, I hav e lost him.
I need help to find him.
Remember when it broke?
Has your period come yet?
Perhaps tomorrow.
No signs in there?
- I did a test.
- They're always wrong.
- Do it again tomorrow.
- Fiv e
tests can't be wrong.
- Wasn't it one of those days when...
- Yes...
but it wasn't.
I'm at a time
in my acting career...
- You know my position.
- And
you know mine.
And you're forcing me...
How do I know it's mine?
Bastard!
What's the matter?
Why? All you care about
is your factory.
All right, all right.
All right.
Hello?
When will they get here?
Not before?
I'm not shouting! Am I shouting?
I'm not shouting!
Yes, I know it's a pig.
A White Chancellor. And it's mine.
His name's Luismi.
Not Luis Miguel.
He's dressed as a pageboy,
for the parade.
A green waistcoat,
a striped scarf with bells on it,
and red booties.
About 80 kilos.
They'v e...
broken into the toy warehouse!
- What?
- Mine?
- I'm sorry.
- No!
It's not insured.
They wouldn't insure it.
What about the toys
for the orphans?
They'v e all gone.
- All of them!
- Bastards!
Not ev en Christmas
is sacred anymore!
Gus, we want blood!
- Yes!
- Blood!
Try and calm down.
The thiev es may still be around.
So let's get mov ing.
Let's get some weapons!
Why not call the police?
The police?
They hav en't been
round here for 20 years.
Might as well sav e our breath.
I don't know why
I bothered to call you.
You see? See what I mean?
But you can stay here
as long as you want.
Think of us all as your family.
Thank you v ery much.
You're v ery kind.
Here. To break their legs with.
They won't get away.
Yes, I'm sure you're v ery bus y
there, scratching your fat ass!
- So you're taking us home, right?
- Yeah, sure.
Anyone got a coin?
So, for the sake of a coin...
A coin and a pig... No...
This is not happening!
Now let's see.
Why can't I make a simple call?
Why can't I get a taxi home?
Is it too much to ask?
This is a special night...
The Three Wise Men
don't attack people...
no-one sets fire
to an expensiv e car...
and it's flies
that smash into windscreens, not
killer Santa Clauses.
That's what flies are for...
I want to get out of here...
I hav e to find Okamura-san.
What we did to him wasn't right.
No... Because your partner...
Partner? Sav iour more like...
You don't cov er him in food, you
don't giv e him an exploding cigar...
You act as host
to your partner, and you
suck up to him.
So that he'll sign the contract.
And your family won't find out...
Your wife won't know
about your girlfriend...
On this special night...
why did my daughter...
my little girl...
get pregnant by a buffoon?
Lucía,
I'm sorry...
Marta, darling...
Teresita...
So...
sure you hav en't got a coin?
Ernesto,
what's going on?
I'v e nothing left.
I'm ruined...
and that's it.
Another phone!
Ernesto.
- Ernesto, please.
- Pull yourself together.
- Let's go inside.
- Wait for us!
- Ernesto, wait for us!
- Stop!
Go back! A phone!
Money can't buy happiness.
- Dad!
- We'll sort it out.
Could you take me to a phone?
What are you doing?
You almost dented
our Noelmobile!
Take me to a phone.
Agustín, it's them!
It's the jerk's...
- girlfriend!
- The killer
- Santa Claus!
- After her!
- I'v e got a coin...
- Come on!
Run, dad!
"The jerk's girlfriend".
"After her". Very subtle!
Now they'v e split up!
Let's get mov ing.
Let's get mov ing.
Hey, don't go!
Trifino sent us!
Lucía?
Girls?
Jaime? Is that you, Jaime?
Lucía? Girls?
Are you there?
Jaime, if it's you, come on out.
Well, well, Jaime.
You turned into a prince.
I'm sorry, my boy.
I was only joking.
Luismi!
Your name's Luismi!
Your master's looking for you.
Although he's not here now.
So break a leg!
Let's make a deal.
Listen to this.
I'll help you find him
and you help me find my family.
What do you say?
I'll take that as a yes...
Hey, you lost your shoe!
Hey, partner! Hey!
Where are we going?
Not so fast!
Luismi, darling.
Thanks. Thanks a lot.
Thanks a lot, Luismi!
Cuspinedas, come out,
come out wherev er you are!
Come on!
We want to go home!
Dad's not coming.
I'll go and look.
- Don't mov e.
- Now what?
Nothing.
You stay here,
we'll look for dad.
And leav e me alone?
There's no point
in going out there.
Crazy or not,
you father will manage.
Come and see this.
"Suffer little children
to come unto me."
You'll be safe here.
I'll look for the maniac.
Look who's talking.
Your father.
He'll probably kill you when
- he sees you.
- Really?
Yes.
I'll risk it.
And if he does kill me...
My brav e rescuer,
they'll hear you.
"God be with you, dear heart,
I must away."
I lov e thee.
- I'll bring you strawberries.
- And cream.
That's it.
I march...
into battle!
Well, well, well!
With this and your present,
we're all set up.
Mr. Cuspineda.
It's you.
It must be past midnight.
Probably.
- Where are the girls?
- They're safe.
Good, good, good.
Okay. Well...
my friend Luismi
and I hav e found a way
to get out of this hellhole.
Right, Luismi?
Though with my bad luck...
But this time it'll work.
Will this be heav y
- enough?
- What?
- Shit!
- Good.
- It's working!
- Look what you'v e done!
Let's find them.
- They'll be worried.
- That's what Teresa wanted!
Ernesto?
Inside!
THIEF
Let me down.
I only wanted to make a call.
I'll pay for any damage,
but let me down.
Let me go, you fool!
- Teach them a lesson!
- Rabble!
Quiet, they'll spoil my costume.
You'll hit me too!
- Isn't this getting out of hand?
- No!
The orphans without toys!
String them up!
Let them pay!
But they swear it wasn't them.
The Three Wise Men?
That's some story!
No hangings till
they say where Luismi is.
- And the toys.
- Didn't we say
that the first thief we caught...
Come on,
ev erybody wants to hang them.
- Wasn't he your boss?
- Exactly.
We could torture them.
That's enough!
My name is Ernesto Cuspineda
and I'm going to build the biggest
air-conditioning
plant in the country...
- What's he saying?
- Is he crazy?
Capable of producing
200,000 units a year.
Ov er 300 jobs will be created.
- Now here's my offer...
- Watch him!
If you let me go,
I'll build the plant here...
in your shitty area...
and giv e you all jobs!
Why should we believ e you?
- Because I nev er lie!
- That's right.
It's true.
Trifino...
Ernesto's my partner
and my friend.
And more than that, I hope.
If he says
he'll build the plant here,
- then it's your lucky day.
- Dimwit!
So let him go.
Oh yes, they're partners all right.
And two bastards!
They'v e got us on part-time
at the lowest rates.
Garriga, son of Garriga.
I meant what I said
about the new plant.
He was dealing with a Jap
but it fell through.
With your help I can fix things!
Let's negotiate.
No. String them up!
Full-time jobs, monthly pay
rev iews in line with inflation...
Monthly?
All right, you bloodsuckers!
- Whatev er you say.
- And a 30-hour week?
- No!
- 2 weeks off for personal matters.
- Yes!
- You can't trust him!
There'll only be machines...
- Table football.
- Robots!
I'll sign anything!
I'v e seen it! There were
only robots! Only robots!
I need my partner.
Hey, hey...
Your daughter lov es me.
And your family?
I know where they're hiding.
Get him down.
Right, I need a phone.
Please help me.
A crazy woman named Celia
is after me.
She did weird shit to me.
Shit! Yes!
Where are you?
Okamura's pissed off.
I can't now.
Forget him, and me too.
Okay. Goodbye.
Perfect.
Put him on.
Okamura-san?
Better in Spanish, right?
We'v e found a perfect site
for the plant.
Come out and see it right away.
Celia, Celia,
bring him ov er now.
- Where are we?
- Let me.
I'll hold it for you.
M50, junction 12,
- second building on the right.
- On the right. We'll be here.
That's that.
Now I'll just go and find my family.
I'll take them home
and then come back.
Hey, hey!
Nobody gets out of here
without a signature.
Don't worry.
One of us will stay
to show good faith.
Which one?
My little girls!
We were so worried about you.
- Mov ing...
- Yes, v ery Christmass y
Very mov ing.
- Now take us home.
- All right. It was frightening too,
but we're back together,
so let's get out of here.
Wait.
Jaime went to look for you.
- He must hav e got lost.
- He found me.
- He did...
- So where is he?
Back in Madrid.
Someone gav e him a lift
back to the theater.
No.
He'd tell me first.
When Trifino got here...
I was worried so I came
to look for you.
Since Trifino and I were there,
he decided to leav e.
J ust like that?
Why didn't he say goodbye?
If I remember right,
he said, "Behind me...
- lie feasting and libations..."
- "Feasting and celebrations,
friends and riv als.
On the lips of the storm.
I go out to my destiny,
to seek glory.
Behind me lie my home
and my history..."
Yes.
That's his style.
Don't stop!
- The killer Santa Clauses!
- It's ok.
Ev erything's under control.
Sign here.
Merry Christmas,
Noel. Es at your serv ice.
Now the presents.
From one who lov es you.
Madame.
This is for you.
- Into the car.
- Is that it?
Into the car.
- A fine couple.
- She's not interested.
Ev en I ended up liking you.
Come here!
Great! A PlayStation 2!
Ernesto, Lucía, a PlayStation 2!
Marta, a PlayStation 2!
Quite a surprise, eh?
Trifino,
where are we going?
To the Garrigas' for a minute.
What?
No way.
- Take us home, Trifino.
- That's what it is...
A home from home.
- Ev ery cloud has a silv er lining...
- Sure.
And someone always sav es your skin.
TRIFINO GARRIGA
INVITES THE CUSPINEDA FAMILY
TO A PARTY AT THE FAMILY MANOR
FORMAL DRESS
AND PUNCTUALITY REQUESTED
Family,
here we are.
A few knocks
but safe and sound.
Grandmama, mama.
Diana.
Your father asked for you.
Twice.
Anyway, the main thing
is you're here now.
It must hav e been a terrible night.
And the girls... poor things.
You must be Marta,
- right?
- Yes.
Eugenia?
Yes?
Papa,
I can explain...
We're late becau...
They must change.
Martín,
prov ide them with garments.
The master's?
That's v ery kind but...
Your size, I think.
Very good, sir.
Now for Marta, with her
wonderful figure,
something of yours or mine
would do.
- Find her something.
- Yes, mama.
This way, Marta.
Teresa, go with your sister.
This way, if you please.
Valentino, Yv es Saint Laurent,
Hungaro, take your pick.
What lov ely clothes.
And now you.
All that grime must hide
a pretty face.
Let's go and wash.
You wash.
Come along,
and while your sister's
changing, we can go out
and look for shooting stars.
Would you leav e us?
You go and look.
If you see
one, call me, okay?
Marta...
You know those things
in your wardrobe?
Yes.
- What about them?
- Well, you see...
I stuck a pin in them.
I know.
They were always the same ones.
The good ones
are in a safe place.
Come here, shrimp.
I'm your older sister.
You'll nev er get my room, you hear?
You hear?
Let's get out of here.
Hurry up.
Don't make them wait.
Ernesto...
I'm not going to strangle you.
Take your time
before you go down
and dazzle them
with your charm.
Ask yourself why your oldest
is expecting a baby,
your youngest
is obsessed with blowing
ev erything sky-high,
and why I...
Well...
That's all I ask.
Think before you do anything.
At least, until you come up with
the answer.
A celebration!
Thank you, papa. Many thanks.
- Good ev ening.
- And you too, Ernesto...
A celebr...
Martín!
Always in the way.
Papa,
tell him the good news.
Trifino has told us
what happened at your firm's dinner
tonight.
Ev erything?
Indeed. A memorable occasion.
Now...
tomorrow is a holiday,
but the next day
I'll transfer funds...
To Refrigerasa
and Garriga Electronics.
We're sav ed!
I said ready or not here we come.
At last.
Ladies,
if you would kindly follow me.
You should see her.
She looks gorgeous.
And for me to say that...
She looks incredible!
She looks beautiful!
Like a princess.
Stop.
Not another step.
Not another step.
"I'll not offend thee
more with words.
For my death speaks for me.
- Great offence I did thee..."
- She prefers Jaime.
She really likes him.
I know.
"My tears shall I now
in silence shed,
for whosoev er dies silently,
has someone to speak
for him."
Ernesto, you know,
nothing would please me more than
to form part of your family.
Marta,
please accept this,
as a token of what
I tried to tell you before.
I want you to know...
I lov e you.
Will you marry me?
Congratulations.
Welcome to the family.
- You're a sly one...
- We're sisters now...
My boy, I'm v ery proud
of you.
A fine couple, Mr. Garriga.
That's for sure.
Call me by my first name.
We'll soon be chasing
grandchildren together.
Sooner than you think, Garriga.
And than I'd hav e
- wished for.
- At last.
My girl's expecting a baby.
Ah, hence the urgency?
You're a dark horse, you rascal.
This is the only way.
Unexpected, but wonderful news.
So soon...
Don't congratulate Trifino.
It's not his.
That problem...
until the 12th week has a solution.
You know, Garriga,
I'd rather you hit me,
I swear I deserv e it.
How could I sell
my daughter for
an air-conditioning plant?
I'd rather die
than let a bastard
like you...
ex cuse me, ladies...
dictate my family's future.
Come on, Garriga,
smash my face in,
you rotten coward.
Hit me!
I nev er expected less of you.
Come, Cuspinedas.
Trifino, you're the only
decent member of this family...
Dad!
- Jaime!
- Marta, my lov e.
That father of yours and Trifino
left me as a hostage to a pack
of ps ychopathic killers.
Thank God I was rescued.
I thought you'd left me.
Would I do that?
All the way here I was thinking...
how much I lov e you.
And we'll talk
about the baby, okay?
And strawberries
are out of season.
No!
It's not fair.
You can't prefer this...
ham actor to me!
- This clown who isn't worthy of you.
- You're hurting me, damn it!
Enough, Trifino.
Marta.
- Trifino.
- Trifino.
Jaime, my darling.
Ernesto.
Ernesto.
It's a Noel 7.
Double delayed action.
Now the fireburst.
Acoustic annulment.
And the final surprise.
Martín, throw out the trash.
That's not necessary.
It'll leav e by itself.
Trifino,
I'll take the Mercedes.
If anyone had the last word,
it was your sister.
But who'd trust
a teenage princess pregnant
- by a sad clown?
- Teresa!
Dad!
Must be the orphanage.
Sign!
And sign about the table football.
It's the Three Wise Men!
- Our toys. The...
- Three Wise Men had them.
They had them!
Careful, dad.
First fix things with the Jap
and then with mom, okay?
I most humbly beg your pardon
- for tonight, Mr. Okamura.
- Cuban.
Light it up.
Go ahead.
Go on.
It wasn't for me.
Ernesto... that is, your husband...
- bought it for you.
- I bet he did.
Read the inscription.
"Lov e."
I'v e giv en your husband a lot,
but nev er that, I assure you.
It's a present from him, not you.
How could anyone lov e them?
- They're ridiculous.
- That's just it.
Call me at the hotel tomorrow.
Okamura's room.
Put it with
the other presents at home.
Fiv e meters!
Fiv e meters.
One...
two...
Teresita.
See you next year. Don't worry,
you're much better than
that old drunk in the red suit.
What a nice girl you are.
Did I stain you?
Luismi, where hav e you been?
Can you tell me the way out of here?
Come on, Agustín.
They just stole the car.
Don't get upset. I'm not.
But they stole the car!
Don't get upset.
- But...
- Don't get upset.
But...
Don't get upset, don't get upset.
I'm not getting upset.
J ust leav e me alone.
I'm sorry.
It wasn't our car anyway.
J ust as well.
Take that!
Get off!
Born in Bethlehem...
We'll protect him...
The little king...
No harm may come to him.
Come on, let's dance.
What are you doing?
Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas.
Peace unto all.
CHRISTMAS CRACKER
A PlayStation 2...
I want a PlayStation 2...
It was hard getting
away from my mom
- in the shop.
- What'v e you got?
Only the best.
Bangers,
firecrackers,
Chinese farts,
rockets,
boomers,
stink bombs...
Rubbish.
That's no good to me.
And...
- A Christmas 7!
- A Christmas 7.
Delayed action,
double ignition phase,
range 10 meters, bursts
through 360 degrees
acoustic annulment,
and a surprise ending.
- How?
- I don't know.
It's different ev ery time.
Commandos II,
Quake IV,
Tomb Raider
and as it's Christmas,
Tekken Tournament.
Thanks.
What presents did you ask
the Three Wise Men for?
Don't be stupid.
The Three Wise Men don't exist.
Yeah... I knew that.
Teresita!
- Your mom!
- Lucía. Hurry up.
Teresa...
Tell your friends
to come to me for copies.
Ok.
Watch out with the Christmas 7.
- I'm going to drop it!
- I saw a shooting star.
Did you?
Very nice, darling.
Is that ev erything?
Did you wish on it?
Get in, get in.
It's really late.
In the back.
- Did you send my letter?
- Yes.
- I asked for a PlayStation 2.
- Ask your dad.
I'm Ernesto Cuspineda, I own an air
conditioning company with no future.
My wife adores me,
I hav e 2 wonderful kids,
and a girlfriend I can't afford.
And I can't afford this house
or this neighborhood.
But that's okay.
The Three Wise Men come tonight!
And tonight my firm Refrigerasa
merges with Okamura Electronics
and I become Europe's leading
air-conditioning manufacturer.
What?
You won't sign, Mr. Okamura?
The Portuguese offer's better?
I smell bad?
No...
Don't leav e, Mr. Okamura, please...
Don't leav e...
Please don't...
Tomorrow I'll start
paying my bills again.
Damn it!
Where are
those women?
Hi, this is Jaime... or not Jaime...
Or Jaimlet... or Romeo.
Or Sigismund,
and my life's a dream...
Or Prince...
I would kiss thee
with my poison...
Marta?
Jaime?
Who's Jaime
and what's all this
- kissing?
- Dad!
Hang up, dad.
This is a priv ate conv ersation.
You hang up.
You hang up, dad!
I'm using the phone!
Child!
And you can shut up...
I am not a child.
Please, please, sav e me...
Please, please...
- Where are you?
- Here.
Looking at your great legs.
I was getting worried.
The shops were full...
- Did you get the tie?
- Yes.
Post my letter?
That color...
I think it suits you...
Where's my jacket?
Teresita,
- take this up to daddy.
- To Ernesto.
Go and get ready and giv e this
- to your sister.
- Why can't she come down?
Because.
TO THE THREE WISE MEN
For God's sake, Jaime!
Pick it up!
Hurry up, pissass.
The folks are in a hurry.
Get lost, shrimp!
Tell dad I'm not going
- to that stupid dinner.
- Good!
Dad'll kill you
and I'll get your room.
Get lost!
And hands off!
Hi, this is...
I'll get it!
Don't you dare!
I'm coming!
It's Jaime!
Shall I answer?
No!
Are you sure?
He'll ring off.
- Giv e me that phone!
- Say please.
Giv e me that phone!
Please.
Giv e it to me... now!
You stupid fool,
I'll kill you.
Open the door!
Open the door!
What?
Well, if you like it...
Hav e you seen my jacket?
I'll iron it out a little.
There's no time.
Giv e it here.
- It's all creased.
- No.
- Giv e it here.
- It's not necessary.
Yes, it is!
No, it isn't!
- Let go!
- Let go!
I'll put the grey one on.
It's at the cleaner's.
Don't worry, Ernesto.
I'll sew it up quickly.
Teresita, leav e
your sister alone!
When you come out,
I'll kill you.
Come out here!
Open up!
LO VE
- In your face!
- Nev er mind.
He shut the door in your face.
Don't get upset. I'm not.
- But...
- Don't get upset.
Now, Agustín,
the fourth v erse...
What are you doing?
I'm cold and hungry. And dressed
like this tonight of all nights!
This job is shit!
Oh, come on.
Dad, if you had...
Where are those two?
- What?
- Nothing.
About time too!
Wait for me.
You're always last.
- Hey!
- Next time, I'll kill you.
What's going on there?
- Teresa.
- Tonight's a big night. All in?
So behav e like a normal family.
Ev erybody happ y, ok?
- Clean your face.
- Marta, Trifino will be there...
Trifino!
Trifino, beware, beware.
Clean your face!
The Garriga kid!
Fantastic!
Marta.
He's a mommy's boy and a freak.
He's proud he's a Garriga.
His breath stinks
- a mile away.
- Marta prefers Jaime.
Who's Jaime?
Yes, who is he?
- Nobody.
- He was a tree
- in the school play.
- He wasn't.
He was the spirit of the forest.
Anyway, tonight
he's got a bigger part.
What as?
A flower pot?
In any case, be nice
to Trifino.
He's my partner and a friend.
Tonight all must be perfect.
NOEL. ES
MESSAGES AND ALLELUYAS
Yes.
Okay. Yes, yes, yes, yes...
We'v e giv en them all presents.
The father, the mother...
The little girl too. Yes, yes.
Who do I giv e the other one to?
- Her!
- Her!
What? No, it's
the same person twice.
Ask the name? Whose?
Hey, can you tell us
what your surname is?
Now let's see, Agustín.
Where did you come to?
Where we were told.
Piamonte Estate,
13th Street, 3rd house on the left.
- On the left?
- The left.
Which is your left?
Same as ev erybody else's.
There.
- And which way did we come?
- That way.
So your left is?
Okay, fine.
Let's get this done.
Look, Benito...
I'm sorry.
This job brings out
the worst in me.
Beni, it's a mistake
anybody could make.
REFRIGERASA,
HEAT AND COOL YO UR HOME
What do you think?
About what?
All this.
What do you think?
Will this nev er end?
Finish up, ladies and gentlemen.
Maitre...
the dessert and drinks.
Mr. Okamura,
let's get ready
to sign. Cecilia,
come with me.
Lucía, look after the guests.
Girls, behav e.
Okamura-san...
Ike-san...
He pronounced it right.
Amazing.
Good for him.
At least
I'll hav e three hours
to rest before we go back to Tokyo.
Yes.
There's your boyfriend.
Shut up!
Hello there, Mrs. Cuspineda.
Trifino, at last...
Ernest wondered where you were.
I was tied up,
getting things ready for tonight.
How's the family?
They're v ery happ y for you
and the big occasion.
Thank you.
Hello, Marta.
- Trifino...
- Happ y?
Ov er the moon.
What a night.
After tonight all will change.
The future
lies before us and I...
I feel... selfish,
because I want to be
part of what this Christmas has
brought. I want to be... well,
if you're patient,
you'll see.
What do you mean?
All right...
I'll giv e you a clue.
You'v e got... v ery good taste.
Well...
As I said,
tonight will be v ery...
v ery special.
Look, kid.
If you don't mind, this is
a priv ate conv ersation.
Don't I get anything?
Later.
Later.
I want to be part of tonight too.
Now stop bothering us, okay?
Er, thanks.
Not that I need it as much as
some people I know.
Will you just shut your face!
You'v e got your present,
hav en't you?
So we present the new logo,
link up with Osaka, sign...
- I know.
- These people don't like surprises.
Well, if they're going
to work with us...
It'll all be okay.
- My 13 percent's at stake.
- 13? You mean 7.
- We agreed on 13.
- 7. We said that in my office.
8 in the National Hotel...
10 in Sev ille, behind the stand...
13 coming back
from Tokyo... in the taxi.
What taxi?
What taxi!
You spoke to your wife as I was...
- Ah, yes.
- Yes.
In the taxi.
Thirteen, right?
You promised.
- What's this?
- Nothing. Giv e it here.
Giv e it back.
It's lov ely!
And you didn't say a word!
You can be v ery generous
when you want.
Look, let's get
things ov er with here,
take the Japs to the hotel,
and I'll giv e you your present.
I'm going to the bathroom.
Don't start without me.
- Merry Christmas, Mrs. Cuspineda.
- Thanks, Celia.
How's ev erything?
I can't wait to finish.
I understand.
Ernesto's unbearable.
Tonight's his big night.
Let him suffer a bit...
I could hav e killed him tonight,
but I found out
he had a surprise for me.
That's nice.
And now I feel guilty.
Like some schoolgirl.
He's bought me a...
Yes?
Don't feel guilty.
It's their duty
to be nice to us.
Anyway...
see you later.
- Mom, can I ask you a question?
- Not now, dear.
Between something you didn't want
but was good for you,
and something you wanted
but was no good for you,
what'd you choose?
Ask your father.
He manages to hav e it all.
Thanks for nothing, mom!
My dear friends,
another year has passed
and Refrigerasa is still our home.
This year there's
good news for the firm.
I don't care
what fucking night it is,
deliv er the message tonight!
Get here right now!
There's more great news
from Japan.
And it's called
Okamura Electronics.
Our new partners
will make us leaders
in the air-conditioning field.
We're going to build the biggest,
most modern
air-conditioning unit factory...
We'll be Number One in Europe.
And this is our man...
Okamura-san.
Welcome to our country,
Mr. Okamura.
And now,
our new plant!
Our name's gone!
And our new workmates,
the Yamamamuda 7000...
Robots!
They can assemble a unit
in just fiv e minutes.
Mr. Okamura,
let us now formalize relations.
I didn't come here
for you to humiliate me
in front of ev erybody!
That's right.
Flaunting that bitch
in front of me!
You can pack your bags tonight.
I want a div orce.
A div orce.
Whore!
No, I'll keep your bags too.
Ev erything...
The girls,
your bags.
What?
Well...
I want ev erything!
Where are you,
you coward?
Mr. Okamura,
I'm so sorry.
Are you okay?
Come out and sign the div orce.
That got rid of the robots!
The contract, please!
Lucía, let's talk it ov er.
Celia, translate!
"Don't feel guilty, Mrs. Cuspineda!"
- Hypocrite!
- You can't driv e!
Where's dad?
Teresa!
Marta,
get in the car.
How could I be so stupid?
- Teresa, will you get in the car!
- I am in.
Oh, sorry, dear.
Take them to the hotel,
I'll see you there.
Earn your 13%.
And don't
let them leav e!
- Mr. Cuspineda.
- What?
Your shortest route is v ia junction
12 and the northbound highway.
Ev erything'll be ok, Trifino.
What about Marta?
Ev erything'll be okay.
- Mom, that's dad!
- Exactly.
Mom, stop!
Run me down if it'll
make you feel better.
Get in!
Marta?
- Looks like he got stood up.
- Don't stop to ask. Let's go!
Hey, you fools!
Fools?
Yeah, clowns. Come here.
You're stupid.
Don't get upset.
- Agustín!
- Where hav e you been?
Agustín!
Take junction 12.
My father'll kill me!
Our relationship
is a purely professional one.
I bet.
She prov ides
the nut for your bolt!
A little bolt at that!
- Yeah, a little bolt.
- Not in front of the girls!
My girls!
Mom, you'll kill us all!
You're not their father anymore.
They're mine!
Stop!
You're in no state to driv e!
He's right. Stop!
Marta, dear,
your mother is quite capable...
Thanks for all
the years of happiness
and trust you gav e me.
You can get your things and go.
- I want a div orce.
- But...
A div orce.
D-l-V-O-R-C-E.
A div orce?
Please, let
ev erything get fix ed.
Let ev erything get fix ed.
Right, right, right!
Don't start again!
J UNCTION 12
And what's your part in all this?
No sign of them.
- You don't say!
- No matter.
- Let's get ready. Flowers?
- Yes.
Confetti?
- Confetti.
- Present?
- In-the-mobile.
- What?
- In the Noelmobile.
- Perfect. We'll
- make the deliv ery and get on home.
- Home!
We hav en't got a home.
Child!
Are you out of your mind?
What?
I demand...
I demand an explanation...
Now!
Marta's pregnant.
- What's that got to with it?
- She's pregnant.
- What!
- What!
A pig, mom!
- You too, darling?
- A pig in the road!
To the right, Benito!
I can't see!
The other right?
Where are you going?
Home! Home!
Mess... message for the Cuspinedas.
- See how I got rid of him?
- Yes.
- Breathe deeply, dear.
- What...
happened?
Ev erybody okay?
Where were you?
Lock the doors!
Lucía,
- where are we going?
- How should I know? Want me to ask?
J ust stop.
Mom, stop!
There we are.
We'v e stopped.
Now what?
Very good, Lucía.
Very good.
Well, can't you fix the car?
Some engineer!
Do something, call
the breakdown serv ice.
Anyone seen my phone?
Marta?
- Here, dad.
- Thank you.
I wanted to talk to Jaime.
Who are you calling?
You're calling her, aren't you?
They can call
a garage from the hotel.
So that woman will call a garage
and solv e this problem?
You'd put your family's liv es
in her hands?
Your daughters' liv es?
Your grandchild's?
Is that what you want?
Ernesto, call
a breakdown serv ice, a taxi,
a gynaecologist, the Three Wise Men.
Anything, but not her!
Get us out of here!
Hello?
Who is it?
What do you mean
I'v e called you 100 times?
Jaime! Jaime! Come and get us!
We're lost...
the car's wrecked,
my folks are getting div orced
and we'v e been attacked
by a freak in a Santa Claus suit!
Sav e me!
- The M50, junction 12!
- M50, junction 12!
Now, Jaime. Jaime,
that's your name, right?
This is Ernesto Cuspineda,
Marta's father...
So now he knows your name.
I spoke to him nicely.
I spoke nicely to the boy
who got my daughter pregnant.
So now, we'll
recharge the phone and then
call the breakdown serv ice.
Then I'll call Celia
about the Japanese.
And if that Jaime comes,
I'll kill him.
Is that clear?
Get out, come on, girls!
Come on, quick, quick, come on!
- Come on!
- Dad!
Dad! Dad!
Got your phone?
Let's get out of here first.
Will you be able
to manage on your own
until you sign the div orce?
Giv e me that.
Here, dear,
it's v ery cold.
We go to Osaka in two hours.
Okamura-san wants nothing
to do with you, ev er again.
Mr. Cuspineda must be trying
to get in touch. Please,
I need to speak to Okamura-san.
Please don't insist.
It's no use...
Ike, you're drunk.
What is she doing?
Mr. Okamura, you can't go...
Shit!
Don't follow me!
Help! Help!
Don't chase me!
Go away!
PHONE UNDER LOCAL
NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH SURVEILLANCE
Hello?
Hello?
Is anybody there?
Hello... we need help.
- Put this on.
- No.
- Yes.
- No. Here.
Look a light!
At last.
Now let's see.
- Open the door!
- Is anybody there?
Help... please!
- Open the door!
- Hello?
- Help!
- Help, please!
We saw the light...
Open the door!
You keep your distance.
- Fiv e meters.
- That's ridiculous.
Fiv e meters!
I can't protect you then.
Who needs protecting by you?
Go on, go on...
Start mov ing back.
That's better.
One...
two...
If it was that ring...
The biggest mistake
I ev er made was marrying you.
I can explain
about the ring.
Sure you can!
She was only trying it on...
I'm not stupid.
Open the door!
Open the door!
Hello?
Hello? Hello? Can you hear me?
Is there anybody there?
Mom!
Stay there!
Can anybody hear me?
Hello?
Well, well...
Working
- ov ertime?
- Of course.
Tonight,
we Three Wise Men hav e a lot
to do.
I'm Melchior,
King Melchior.
The Wise Men don't exist.
Hurry up, the night
is short. Where
the hell is that snowball?
You're common thiev es.
Why aren't you
at home waiting for us?
Why should I?
There's enough here
for ev eryone.
Hey, kid!
We'll all take
what we want, okay?
You'd better go home
- to your folks.
- Teresa!
Who are you?
Who do you think we are?
Teresa, come here.
Let her go, foreigner.
Foreigner?
What did you say?
Melchior,
take the kid.
Giv e her something.
Come here.
Let's look for something nice.
Silent night...
holy night...
Then where do
the presents come from?
- The adults' credit card.
- What do you mean?
Who told you that?
Hey, Teresa,
are your folks rich?
SUFFER LITTLE CHILDREN
TO COME UNTO ME
With 16-bit sound.
An analogical digital conv ertor?
And you can see films on DVD?
A PlayStation!
It's a silent night for Balthasar.
All together now.
Shit!
Hurry up, we're leav ing.
J ust a minute.
Let me hav e a go now...
I hav e to go.
All right.
Please...
Take us to a taxi rank or a station.
Why, if you'v e got no money?
Take us home...
- Is it too much to ask?
- Are you crazy?
If I take you home,
I'll rob the place.
That's incitement, that is.
Incitement aforethought.
What kind
of person are you?
You're a bad one.
And you're a shit.
Shame on you!
A daughter ov er 8 years old,
who doesn't believ e in the Wise Men.
I need some shoes.
You're useless!
I'll look for some inside.
Hurry up!
What's my size?
Work it out for yourself!
J ust tell me the number.
Jaime!
- Jaime!
- Taxi! Taxi! Taxi!
Jaime!
The one who got
my daughter pregnant?
Kill him later.
You came for me!
It's been horrible.
- But now...
- I'm glad to see you too.
I'm gladder than you.
Folks, this is Jaime.
- Hello.
- Hello.
Pleased to...
What's the matter?
Marta!
Tell you later.
13th Street, Piamonte Estate,
then the Hotel Villamagna.
The Piamonte Estate...
Now that's...
Between Mirasierra
and Cerro Mediano.
I'll direct you.
Yes, that rings a bell.
Let's hav e a look...
Take the M50
and I'll direct you.
Piamonte Estate...
Yes...
I'll tell you where to go!
J ust start the engine.
Let's go.
Right.
Hav e you got the money for the fare?
I'll pay you
- when we get there, okay?
- That's what
- the kid said.
- I didn't want to stop for money.
Marta was in trouble.
And poor too!
I'll pay when we get there.
So you hav en't got any money?
Want me to show you?
Yes.
There's no need.
I'll take your word for it.
Good.
- What's up?
- I can't take you.
Why not?
There's fiv e of you.
I can only take four.
- Who would know?
- There's no-one to see.
- That's not the point.
- Do it for Christmas.
We'll say we're going
to the maternity ward.
No-one will see us.
That's enough.
Your name's Jaime, right?
Out!
Me? I'v e got
a play to perform.
Didn't you come to rescue
my daughter? Out of the car.
- Dad!
- It's logical, I suppose.
I'll get out, not out of obedience
but because of your plight,
and in the face of such cunning
callousness. Adieu, my lov e.
- God!
- Thank you.
Marta, darling!
- Get back in.
- No!
Marta, get in!
- No!
- Marta, get back in!
All right, all right.
Marta, get in!
Hey, my little doggie.
No! Please, don't go!
Don't go!
Come back here!
Come back here!
Jaime's got a phone.
- Right?
- Your dad fused
the battery.
What shall we do now?
It's all your fault.
I hav e to be at the theater
in one hour.
Get him out of my sight
or I'll kill him!
You had this coming.
You asked for it.
And you,
fill him in. Come on, dear.
Are your folks crazy or what?
Good ev ening.
Paella and tripe.
A nice Christmas present.
I'm looking for
a Japanese friend.
He lost
his key,
Hav e you seen him?
I don't recall...
Ask in reception.
Thanks.
- Another freak.
- Straight out of freaks v ille.
Go on then.
But eas y does it, eh?
Don't want to scare him.
Hey!
Break a leg, partner.
He's probably got
his family's heads in those sacks.
Good ev ening.
Doesn't look like
you'v e had one.
Are you all right?
Where shall I start?
At the beginning,
right?
Where are we?
Shepherds, ice
has come to Bethlehem!
- Alleluya!
- Alleluya!
St. Joseph!
St. Joseph!
Where the hell were you?
Can you take these into town?
No. I'd rather be dead.
That's that then.
Call your partner.
- Thank you.
- Show him the phone.
He'll manage.
I'v e got to find Mary.
Follow him.
Hurry up!
It's time for my play.
Take it eas y.
I wouldn't dare depriv e
the Classics of a comic like you.
Hey,
the phone, please!
Telephone?
Ex cuse me.
Put him on.
Yes, I hav e lost him.
I need help to find him.
Remember when it broke?
Has your period come yet?
Perhaps tomorrow.
No signs in there?
- I did a test.
- They're always wrong.
- Do it again tomorrow.
- Fiv e
tests can't be wrong.
- Wasn't it one of those days when...
- Yes...
but it wasn't.
I'm at a time
in my acting career...
- You know my position.
- And
you know mine.
And you're forcing me...
How do I know it's mine?
Bastard!
What's the matter?
Why? All you care about
is your factory.
All right, all right.
All right.
Hello?
When will they get here?
Not before?
I'm not shouting! Am I shouting?
I'm not shouting!
Yes, I know it's a pig.
A White Chancellor. And it's mine.
His name's Luismi.
Not Luis Miguel.
He's dressed as a pageboy,
for the parade.
A green waistcoat,
a striped scarf with bells on it,
and red booties.
About 80 kilos.
They'v e...
broken into the toy warehouse!
- What?
- Mine?
- I'm sorry.
- No!
It's not insured.
They wouldn't insure it.
What about the toys
for the orphans?
They'v e all gone.
- All of them!
- Bastards!
Not ev en Christmas
is sacred anymore!
Gus, we want blood!
- Yes!
- Blood!
Try and calm down.
The thiev es may still be around.
So let's get mov ing.
Let's get some weapons!
Why not call the police?
The police?
They hav en't been
round here for 20 years.
Might as well sav e our breath.
I don't know why
I bothered to call you.
You see? See what I mean?
But you can stay here
as long as you want.
Think of us all as your family.
Thank you v ery much.
You're v ery kind.
Here. To break their legs with.
They won't get away.
Yes, I'm sure you're v ery bus y
there, scratching your fat ass!
- So you're taking us home, right?
- Yeah, sure.
Anyone got a coin?
So, for the sake of a coin...
A coin and a pig... No...
This is not happening!
Now let's see.
Why can't I make a simple call?
Why can't I get a taxi home?
Is it too much to ask?
This is a special night...
The Three Wise Men
don't attack people...
no-one sets fire
to an expensiv e car...
and it's flies
that smash into windscreens, not
killer Santa Clauses.
That's what flies are for...
I want to get out of here...
I hav e to find Okamura-san.
What we did to him wasn't right.
No... Because your partner...
Partner? Sav iour more like...
You don't cov er him in food, you
don't giv e him an exploding cigar...
You act as host
to your partner, and you
suck up to him.
So that he'll sign the contract.
And your family won't find out...
Your wife won't know
about your girlfriend...
On this special night...
why did my daughter...
my little girl...
get pregnant by a buffoon?
Lucía,
I'm sorry...
Marta, darling...
Teresita...
So...
sure you hav en't got a coin?
Ernesto,
what's going on?
I'v e nothing left.
I'm ruined...
and that's it.
Another phone!
Ernesto.
- Ernesto, please.
- Pull yourself together.
- Let's go inside.
- Wait for us!
- Ernesto, wait for us!
- Stop!
Go back! A phone!
Money can't buy happiness.
- Dad!
- We'll sort it out.
Could you take me to a phone?
What are you doing?
You almost dented
our Noelmobile!
Take me to a phone.
Agustín, it's them!
It's the jerk's...
- girlfriend!
- The killer
- Santa Claus!
- After her!
- I'v e got a coin...
- Come on!
Run, dad!
"The jerk's girlfriend".
"After her". Very subtle!
Now they'v e split up!
Let's get mov ing.
Let's get mov ing.
Hey, don't go!
Trifino sent us!
Lucía?
Girls?
Jaime? Is that you, Jaime?
Lucía? Girls?
Are you there?
Jaime, if it's you, come on out.
Well, well, Jaime.
You turned into a prince.
I'm sorry, my boy.
I was only joking.
Luismi!
Your name's Luismi!
Your master's looking for you.
Although he's not here now.
So break a leg!
Let's make a deal.
Listen to this.
I'll help you find him
and you help me find my family.
What do you say?
I'll take that as a yes...
Hey, you lost your shoe!
Hey, partner! Hey!
Where are we going?
Not so fast!
Luismi, darling.
Thanks. Thanks a lot.
Thanks a lot, Luismi!
Cuspinedas, come out,
come out wherev er you are!
Come on!
We want to go home!
Dad's not coming.
I'll go and look.
- Don't mov e.
- Now what?
Nothing.
You stay here,
we'll look for dad.
And leav e me alone?
There's no point
in going out there.
Crazy or not,
you father will manage.
Come and see this.
"Suffer little children
to come unto me."
You'll be safe here.
I'll look for the maniac.
Look who's talking.
Your father.
He'll probably kill you when
- he sees you.
- Really?
Yes.
I'll risk it.
And if he does kill me...
My brav e rescuer,
they'll hear you.
"God be with you, dear heart,
I must away."
I lov e thee.
- I'll bring you strawberries.
- And cream.
That's it.
I march...
into battle!
Well, well, well!
With this and your present,
we're all set up.
Mr. Cuspineda.
It's you.
It must be past midnight.
Probably.
- Where are the girls?
- They're safe.
Good, good, good.
Okay. Well...
my friend Luismi
and I hav e found a way
to get out of this hellhole.
Right, Luismi?
Though with my bad luck...
But this time it'll work.
Will this be heav y
- enough?
- What?
- Shit!
- Good.
- It's working!
- Look what you'v e done!
Let's find them.
- They'll be worried.
- That's what Teresa wanted!
Ernesto?
Inside!
THIEF
Let me down.
I only wanted to make a call.
I'll pay for any damage,
but let me down.
Let me go, you fool!
- Teach them a lesson!
- Rabble!
Quiet, they'll spoil my costume.
You'll hit me too!
- Isn't this getting out of hand?
- No!
The orphans without toys!
String them up!
Let them pay!
But they swear it wasn't them.
The Three Wise Men?
That's some story!
No hangings till
they say where Luismi is.
- And the toys.
- Didn't we say
that the first thief we caught...
Come on,
ev erybody wants to hang them.
- Wasn't he your boss?
- Exactly.
We could torture them.
That's enough!
My name is Ernesto Cuspineda
and I'm going to build the biggest
air-conditioning
plant in the country...
- What's he saying?
- Is he crazy?
Capable of producing
200,000 units a year.
Ov er 300 jobs will be created.
- Now here's my offer...
- Watch him!
If you let me go,
I'll build the plant here...
in your shitty area...
and giv e you all jobs!
Why should we believ e you?
- Because I nev er lie!
- That's right.
It's true.
Trifino...
Ernesto's my partner
and my friend.
And more than that, I hope.
If he says
he'll build the plant here,
- then it's your lucky day.
- Dimwit!
So let him go.
Oh yes, they're partners all right.
And two bastards!
They'v e got us on part-time
at the lowest rates.
Garriga, son of Garriga.
I meant what I said
about the new plant.
He was dealing with a Jap
but it fell through.
With your help I can fix things!
Let's negotiate.
No. String them up!
Full-time jobs, monthly pay
rev iews in line with inflation...
Monthly?
All right, you bloodsuckers!
- Whatev er you say.
- And a 30-hour week?
- No!
- 2 weeks off for personal matters.
- Yes!
- You can't trust him!
There'll only be machines...
- Table football.
- Robots!
I'll sign anything!
I'v e seen it! There were
only robots! Only robots!
I need my partner.
Hey, hey...
Your daughter lov es me.
And your family?
I know where they're hiding.
Get him down.
Right, I need a phone.
Please help me.
A crazy woman named Celia
is after me.
She did weird shit to me.
Shit! Yes!
Where are you?
Okamura's pissed off.
I can't now.
Forget him, and me too.
Okay. Goodbye.
Perfect.
Put him on.
Okamura-san?
Better in Spanish, right?
We'v e found a perfect site
for the plant.
Come out and see it right away.
Celia, Celia,
bring him ov er now.
- Where are we?
- Let me.
I'll hold it for you.
M50, junction 12,
- second building on the right.
- On the right. We'll be here.
That's that.
Now I'll just go and find my family.
I'll take them home
and then come back.
Hey, hey!
Nobody gets out of here
without a signature.
Don't worry.
One of us will stay
to show good faith.
Which one?
My little girls!
We were so worried about you.
- Mov ing...
- Yes, v ery Christmass y
Very mov ing.
- Now take us home.
- All right. It was frightening too,
but we're back together,
so let's get out of here.
Wait.
Jaime went to look for you.
- He must hav e got lost.
- He found me.
- He did...
- So where is he?
Back in Madrid.
Someone gav e him a lift
back to the theater.
No.
He'd tell me first.
When Trifino got here...
I was worried so I came
to look for you.
Since Trifino and I were there,
he decided to leav e.
J ust like that?
Why didn't he say goodbye?
If I remember right,
he said, "Behind me...
- lie feasting and libations..."
- "Feasting and celebrations,
friends and riv als.
On the lips of the storm.
I go out to my destiny,
to seek glory.
Behind me lie my home
and my history..."
Yes.
That's his style.
Don't stop!
- The killer Santa Clauses!
- It's ok.
Ev erything's under control.
Sign here.
Merry Christmas,
Noel. Es at your serv ice.
Now the presents.
From one who lov es you.
Madame.
This is for you.
- Into the car.
- Is that it?
Into the car.
- A fine couple.
- She's not interested.
Ev en I ended up liking you.
Come here!
Great! A PlayStation 2!
Ernesto, Lucía, a PlayStation 2!
Marta, a PlayStation 2!
Quite a surprise, eh?
Trifino,
where are we going?
To the Garrigas' for a minute.
What?
No way.
- Take us home, Trifino.
- That's what it is...
A home from home.
- Ev ery cloud has a silv er lining...
- Sure.
And someone always sav es your skin.
TRIFINO GARRIGA
INVITES THE CUSPINEDA FAMILY
TO A PARTY AT THE FAMILY MANOR
FORMAL DRESS
AND PUNCTUALITY REQUESTED
Family,
here we are.
A few knocks
but safe and sound.
Grandmama, mama.
Diana.
Your father asked for you.
Twice.
Anyway, the main thing
is you're here now.
It must hav e been a terrible night.
And the girls... poor things.
You must be Marta,
- right?
- Yes.
Eugenia?
Yes?
Papa,
I can explain...
We're late becau...
They must change.
Martín,
prov ide them with garments.
The master's?
That's v ery kind but...
Your size, I think.
Very good, sir.
Now for Marta, with her
wonderful figure,
something of yours or mine
would do.
- Find her something.
- Yes, mama.
This way, Marta.
Teresa, go with your sister.
This way, if you please.
Valentino, Yv es Saint Laurent,
Hungaro, take your pick.
What lov ely clothes.
And now you.
All that grime must hide
a pretty face.
Let's go and wash.
You wash.
Come along,
and while your sister's
changing, we can go out
and look for shooting stars.
Would you leav e us?
You go and look.
If you see
one, call me, okay?
Marta...
You know those things
in your wardrobe?
Yes.
- What about them?
- Well, you see...
I stuck a pin in them.
I know.
They were always the same ones.
The good ones
are in a safe place.
Come here, shrimp.
I'm your older sister.
You'll nev er get my room, you hear?
You hear?
Let's get out of here.
Hurry up.
Don't make them wait.
Ernesto...
I'm not going to strangle you.
Take your time
before you go down
and dazzle them
with your charm.
Ask yourself why your oldest
is expecting a baby,
your youngest
is obsessed with blowing
ev erything sky-high,
and why I...
Well...
That's all I ask.
Think before you do anything.
At least, until you come up with
the answer.
A celebration!
Thank you, papa. Many thanks.
- Good ev ening.
- And you too, Ernesto...
A celebr...
Martín!
Always in the way.
Papa,
tell him the good news.
Trifino has told us
what happened at your firm's dinner
tonight.
Ev erything?
Indeed. A memorable occasion.
Now...
tomorrow is a holiday,
but the next day
I'll transfer funds...
To Refrigerasa
and Garriga Electronics.
We're sav ed!
I said ready or not here we come.
At last.
Ladies,
if you would kindly follow me.
You should see her.
She looks gorgeous.
And for me to say that...
She looks incredible!
She looks beautiful!
Like a princess.
Stop.
Not another step.
Not another step.
"I'll not offend thee
more with words.
For my death speaks for me.
- Great offence I did thee..."
- She prefers Jaime.
She really likes him.
I know.
"My tears shall I now
in silence shed,
for whosoev er dies silently,
has someone to speak
for him."
Ernesto, you know,
nothing would please me more than
to form part of your family.
Marta,
please accept this,
as a token of what
I tried to tell you before.
I want you to know...
I lov e you.
Will you marry me?
Congratulations.
Welcome to the family.
- You're a sly one...
- We're sisters now...
My boy, I'm v ery proud
of you.
A fine couple, Mr. Garriga.
That's for sure.
Call me by my first name.
We'll soon be chasing
grandchildren together.
Sooner than you think, Garriga.
And than I'd hav e
- wished for.
- At last.
My girl's expecting a baby.
Ah, hence the urgency?
You're a dark horse, you rascal.
This is the only way.
Unexpected, but wonderful news.
So soon...
Don't congratulate Trifino.
It's not his.
That problem...
until the 12th week has a solution.
You know, Garriga,
I'd rather you hit me,
I swear I deserv e it.
How could I sell
my daughter for
an air-conditioning plant?
I'd rather die
than let a bastard
like you...
ex cuse me, ladies...
dictate my family's future.
Come on, Garriga,
smash my face in,
you rotten coward.
Hit me!
I nev er expected less of you.
Come, Cuspinedas.
Trifino, you're the only
decent member of this family...
Dad!
- Jaime!
- Marta, my lov e.
That father of yours and Trifino
left me as a hostage to a pack
of ps ychopathic killers.
Thank God I was rescued.
I thought you'd left me.
Would I do that?
All the way here I was thinking...
how much I lov e you.
And we'll talk
about the baby, okay?
And strawberries
are out of season.
No!
It's not fair.
You can't prefer this...
ham actor to me!
- This clown who isn't worthy of you.
- You're hurting me, damn it!
Enough, Trifino.
Marta.
- Trifino.
- Trifino.
Jaime, my darling.
Ernesto.
Ernesto.
It's a Noel 7.
Double delayed action.
Now the fireburst.
Acoustic annulment.
And the final surprise.
Martín, throw out the trash.
That's not necessary.
It'll leav e by itself.
Trifino,
I'll take the Mercedes.
If anyone had the last word,
it was your sister.
But who'd trust
a teenage princess pregnant
- by a sad clown?
- Teresa!
Dad!
Must be the orphanage.
Sign!
And sign about the table football.
It's the Three Wise Men!
- Our toys. The...
- Three Wise Men had them.
They had them!
Careful, dad.
First fix things with the Jap
and then with mom, okay?
I most humbly beg your pardon
- for tonight, Mr. Okamura.
- Cuban.
Light it up.
Go ahead.
Go on.
It wasn't for me.
Ernesto... that is, your husband...
- bought it for you.
- I bet he did.
Read the inscription.
"Lov e."
I'v e giv en your husband a lot,
but nev er that, I assure you.
It's a present from him, not you.
How could anyone lov e them?
- They're ridiculous.
- That's just it.
Call me at the hotel tomorrow.
Okamura's room.
Put it with
the other presents at home.
Fiv e meters!
Fiv e meters.
One...
two...
Teresita.
See you next year. Don't worry,
you're much better than
that old drunk in the red suit.
What a nice girl you are.
Did I stain you?
Luismi, where hav e you been?
Can you tell me the way out of here?
Come on, Agustín.
They just stole the car.
Don't get upset. I'm not.
But they stole the car!
Don't get upset.
- But...
- Don't get upset.
But...
Don't get upset, don't get upset.
I'm not getting upset.
J ust leav e me alone.
I'm sorry.
It wasn't our car anyway.
J ust as well.