Turkey Drop (2019) - full transcript

- Lucy!
- Ohmigod! You scared me.

- You're scaring me
in that sweater.

It's 90 degrees outside.

- I like this sweater.
It reminds me of home.

- The whole point of going
to college

is to forget about home.

You need to get outta
your comfort zone.

- Oh, I am out of my comfort
zone. I'm in Arizona.

- Dressed like my grandmother.

Please, just put on your suit
and come to the party.

There are so many cute guys
down there.



- You know I have a boyfriend.

- Oh, right. The one you
haven't heard from in six days?

What's his name? Jared?

- Jordan! And that's not true.

He sent me three smileys
and thumbs up.

- Oh! Sorry!
Well, when's the wedding?

- He's just busy, you know,
with winter finals

and, and the holidays coming up.

- He actually said that to you?

I'm too busy to text you
due to the holidays coming up?

- Well, no... not that exactly,
but it was implied

with the cat dressed
as a turkey meme.

Anyway, he said he can't wait
to talk over Thanksgiving.

- Talk... because that's what
all college boys wanna do.



Wait... I know what this is.
- What is it?

- Emojis and a cow
in a turkey suit?

- Cat...
- Whatever.

Dude, you're getting basted.

- Basted?
- Basted... buttered.

Bastard. He's prepping you
for the turkey drop.

- What is a turkey drop?

- Come to the party
and I'll tell you.

- No.

- Small town dudes are so shady.

- Amanda, what is a turkey
drop?

- Look it up.

- "When a long-distance
couple returns home

for Thanksgiving.
Typically, one of them gets...

dumped."

Oh no...

Announcer: Final boarding call
for Flight 4810

to Boise, Idaho,
boarding at gate 13.

Final boarding call
for Flight 4810

to Boise, Idaho
now boarding at gate 13.

- Hi!

- Oh!
- Ahhh!

- Oh! Oh, look at you!
You're a twig! Oh no!

Let's get you in the van
before you freeze to death.

- Can I get 'em? I'll get 'em.

- Oh no, no, no, I got it.
- Do you need some help?

- No, no.
- You're okay? Dad!

- Sweetie, come here!
Oh God, you're gorgeous!

- How are you?
- Woo!

Woo!

- Mom... you're blonde.
- Don't you love it?

Jamal down at the beauty school
said it brings out my...

girlish undertones.

- Apparently your mother has
undertones.

- I micro-bladed my brows too.
What do you think?

- You let a student take
an Exacto knife to your face?

- No! A graduate student.
She got a B plus.

- Your mother's been making
a lot of changes lately.

- Yeah, and why shouldn't I?

I'm an empty nester now,
you know.

We've got homecoming
tomorrow night,

and I can't promise that
I won't cry

when you and Jordan crown
the new king and queen.

Oh, the whole town
will be there!

And... we can't forget about
the Turkey Trot

on Thanksgiving morning.

- Let me guess, the whole
town's gonna be there.

- Well, yes. Ugh!

Ah... there's something else
I wanna tell you.

So your sister, Lydia...
- I only have one sister, Mom.

- is bringing someone.

It's a new lawyer
from her firm.

Her name is Anna.
Sounds very promising.

And I think that
about covers it.

- Not quite.

Well, tell her.

- Tell me what?
- Well, your brother, Leo--

- I only have one brother, Mom.
- Your brother Leo has a friend

who didn't have a place
to go for the holidays,

so we invited him
to stay with us.

- No...

no, don't say Dean.
Don't say...

- Dean.
- Mean Dean?

- Oh...
- Mom, come on!

You know how much I hate him!

He's been giving me noogies
since I was like 12.

And he calls me Lucy Goosey!

- Oh honey, he's a college
graduate now, okay?

He's been helping us out
down at the restaurant

while he applies
for graduate school.

Listen, he...

has matured so much.

- Hey, Lucy Goosey!

- Get off me! Let go!

God, stop it!
Both:

- Grow up!

Ron: All right, tomatoes...

Nancy: Want me to make you
something?

- This actually looks good.
Maybe I'll do it.

Ron: Are either of you having
some?

- Flax? Chia? Mom!
- Yeah?

- Where's the Doritos,
the... the Twinkies, the Oreos?

- Just like I said, changes.

- Why don't I make you a nice
chia chai smoothie?

- No! No, I don't want
a smoothie!

I just... I wanna go up
to my room and take a nap.

- I'm just gonna make her
a smoothie.

- It's gonna take more
than a smoothie.

- Moooooom!

- Oh. Honey!
- Oh...

- Coming, honey!

- Mooooooooom?!

I've only been gone
for three months.

What happened to my room?

- 'Kay, your sister took your
mother to a Pink concert

and she lost her mind.

- No, I didn't lose my mind.
I found my passion.

It's called aerialist training.

Honey, you've gotta try it.

My pelvic floor is like
a vice grip.

- Well, Mom, I don't care about
your pelvic floor.

Where is all of my stuff?!

- Oh, it's around here
somewhere.

You had too much of it anyway.

You should throw some stuff out.

- Yeah, I need to go shower...
my eyeballs.

- God, Mom, come on.

- You know, you kids are the
reason my insides collapsed,

and it nearly split me in half.

Okay, watch this one.
Gotta get it just...

Get ready. And hold... it!

- Hello, anyone here?

- Hey, Lydia's here. Let's go!
- Lydia! Hey Lydia!

Ron: Lydia!
- Wait for me!

Wait... wait for me!

Lydia!
- Mom! You're blonde!

- I know! Isn't it fabulous?

Now where is this brilliant
young attorney

you've told us all about?

- Hi.
- Oh!

- Hi.
- Everyone, this is Anna.

- Hey, what's up?

- Really, it's nice
to meet you.

- So nice meeting you!

- Can you help with the bags?
- Yeah... sure.

So Lydia gets to have a girl
in her room, but I don't?

- Yeah, it's different.
- How's it different?

- I don't know, it just is.
- Sorry, what girl?

- Uh, you guys
haven't met her yet.

- Have you met her yet, Leo?
- Hmm.

Don't you have a couch to go to?

- Pfft!

- Ohmigod, Jordan's here!

- I know, I invited him.

- Mom, no! I'm covered
in airplane sludge!

- Hi! Oh my gosh,
come in, come in.

- Of course. Good to see you,
Nancy. Hug.

- Oh, it's good to see you!
- These are for you.

- What?!
- Pink roses, right?

- Oh my gosh, you remembered.

Oh, isn't he just the sweetest,
Lucy?

Lucy?

- Agghhhhhh!
- Agh!

- Aggghhhh!

- God!

- Don't you lock doors?!
- Don't you knock on them?!

- Why would I knock on
an unlocked door?

- It's basic bathroom etiquette.

I'll be done in a minute.
- Fine, I'll wait.

- Wait? What? No, no, no,
get out!

- Lucy? Luce?

Mmm!

- Hi, Schmoops!
- Why are you so wound up--

- Um, I'm in the shower.

- Okay. Brought you a kale
smoothie.

I'll just,
I'll wait downstairs.

- Uh, no! No-no-no-no-no!
Um... ah...

It's gonna be a while.
I'm um...

I'm really... dirty.
- I don't mind.

- Can you just leave
the freakin' smoothie?

Ah... er, just... thank you.

Thank you so much.
That's so sweet.

Um, I'm just gonna see you
later at the restaurant, okay?

- Okay.
- Okay.

- Okay, I will see you later,
I guess.

Do you want--
Okay.

- Mmm... kale smoothie.
That, that's romantic.

- Shut up.

- I can't believe you're still
dating that loser

Jordan Kroger.

- Well, I am. He's not a loser.

Can you just hurry up?

There are people that actually
live here

that need to use the bathroom.

Jordan's gonna turkey drop me.

Both: He's gonna what you?

- Wait. You just showered
with Dean.

- No, I didn't shower
with Dean.

I just got into the shower
with him.

- So, he was naked.
- Yeah.

- And?
- And who cares?

You're supposed to be
helping me with Jordan!

- Okay, I'm new.
Who is Dean and who is Jordan?

- Well, Dean is nobody.
- Dean is not nobody.

He's been Leo's best friend
since we were kids.

His family moved away
a few years ago--

- And he's like a stray dog
we should've never fed.

- O-kay. And the other guy?

- Jordan is Lucy's boyfriend.

They've been together
since freshman year.

- Pre-freshman year,

if you count Katie Logan's
eighth grade pool party.

Jordan was allergic
to strawberries

and Katie had this strawberry
cream cake.

So, I said I was allergic
to strawberries

and then I sat with him
on the other side of the pool

in solidarity.
And that was it.

It was love.
- I remember that party.

You came home all googly-eyed

and told mom you couldn't eat
strawberries anymore.

- I haven't had one in 5 years.

- You faked a fruit allergy
for 5 years? For some guy?

- Jordan and I are meant
to be together.

- Luce, you don't pin
your whole life

on the first person you meet
at 12.

- Okay, well, Mom and Dad did
and look how happy they are.

- Yeah, and if I hadn't moved
away,

taken a job in Seattle
and joined a hiking club,

I would never have met Anna.
And I loathe hiking.

- Look...

See?

Look at how happy
we are together.

- Hmm.
- We're Jordan and Lucy.

We're Juicy.

- Arrrrgghhh, God!

I can't let him turkey drop me!

- Okay, okay, calm down.

Shhh...

- I need your help.
Please, I'll do anything!

- Well, in law, when you're
trying to win over the jury,

you have to surprise them.

Give them a piece of evidence
they weren't expecting.

- Like what?
- Isn't there something

you can do that would
surprise Jordan?

Show him a side of you
he isn't expecting.

- Dance with me.
- No.

- J-just this one time.
You never dance with me.

- I'm not gonna dance with you.

- Please, please let's dance.
Come on.

- Lydia, I love you!

Thank you!

Leo, are you down here?!

- Ye-ah!

- Hey, Lucy Goosey...

Don't you have like an off
button?

- Beat me in the dance
challenge,

I'll retire Lucy Goosey forever.

- Well, that wouldn't be much
of a challenge.

Lucy doesn't dance.

- Actually...

That's what I, uh, came down
here to talk to you about,

I um... I need your help.

- It was so expensive, so,
I... couldn't.

Lucy, hey! Welcome home!

- Katie, hi.
- Hi.

Gosh, you... look so tired.
Are you okay?

- Uh... what? Yeah.

Yeah, totally. I'm great, why?

- Oh, uh, it's just that Jordan
mentioned

that long distance
relationships are so hard.

- Oh... you and Jordan have been
talking about our relationship?

- No, gosh, no! No, I mean,
we're really good friends,

but, uh, no, I'm glad to hear
that it's nothing. Yay!

- Yay.

- Uh, I gotta go check on
an order.

- Yeah, of course.
- I'll be back.

- Okay. Bye.

Little Miss Innocent still acts

like she didn't steal Jordan
from me.

Jordan: What's up, bro?

Looking good and swelled.
- You too! How you been?

- Schmoop! Hi!

- Oh, give me a second.
Give me one sec. Luce.

- Eeeeee!

Ahh, I missed you so much.

- Yeah, me too. Yeah.

Uh, sorry that I haven't been
calling much.

Just... school.
- Oh, sweetie,

you look wonderful!

Doesn't she look wonderful,
Jordie?

- She looks great, Mom.
She always looks great.

- I am famished!

Can you bring us some of that
famous cheesy bread?

- Yes. Oh my gosh, of course!
Coming right up!

- Oh, Nancy!

- Barb, hi!
- Hi.

- Hey, um... I'm sorry I was
so weird earlier.

I just... I really wanted
to look nice for you.

- Oh, that's sweet.

- And, uh, thank you for
the smoothie this morning.

It was really... delicious.

- Sure.

Hey, Luce, hey.
Actually, um...

I was thinking, maybe later
tonight, that we could...

we could talk?

In private?

- Talk.
- Yeah.

- Yes. Of course. Uh, sure.

Um, you know what? I should
probably get your mom

that cheesy bread though.

Yeah. D-don't go anywhere.

I have a surprise for you later.

- Surprise?

What kind of surprise?
- Jordan! Hey!

- Seriously, what're you still
doing with that guy?

- Why do you care?

- I don't.

I-I just figured you
would've upgraded by now.

- Well, I haven't.

Uh, I mean, I don't need
to upgrade.

Jordan is perfect for me.

- Wow. He's so perfect you need
to impress him?

- Don't you have some other
family you can go annoy

this holiday season?

- You wanna impress a man?
You learn to cook.

That's how your mother got me.

- Dad, cooking?

Isn't that like a little
ol' fashioned?

- 29 years. You tell me.

- Right. I uh...

Oh Lucy, you remember Jerry,
the cheese man.

- Best mozzarella in the...
County.

- In the county! In the county!
- Hi, Jerry.

- Luciana, tesoro mio!

I heard you were home.
Welcome back!

- Okay, you know what?
That's enough chatter.

Let's um... more service.

Let's get this downstairs
to table 5.

Thank you, Lucy.
All right.

- Get outta here.
- 'Scuse me! Hi, Katie!

Can I borrow my boyfriend?

Are you ready for your surprise?

- Luce, I don't really need
a surpri--

- Shh! You're gonna love it.
- Okay.

Can I please have
your attention?

- Lucy's home!
- Feels so good to be home.

But if I'm being honest,
I, uh, I was a little nervous

to leave my family
and my friends

and go away to a school

where everybody wears bikinis
to class.

Even the boys.
Patrons:

- But there was one thing

that kept me from feeling
lonely

and got me through
the hard days...

and that was Jordan.

And he always wanted
to dance with me

and I was just too...
way too embarrassed.

So, um, Schmoop,

this is me showing you
how much you mean to me.

Okay, hit it, bro.

- Woo-hoo!
- Ow!

- Wow...

- Eeeeee!

- Wow, Luce! I--

I had no-no idea you could
dance like that.

- Muah!

- Wow!
- I know, me neither.

- Well, it was really sweet.
Really.

But there, there is something
I do need to talk to you about.

- Still? I mean, I mean now?

- It's-it's really important,
Lucy.

- Yeah... yeah, sure.

Um, it-it's just that
we're um...

we're closing early tonight.

So, uh, we gotta do that

and then, and then we have
a big family game night. Huge.

So, what about tomorrow?

- No, it's homecoming tomorrow.

I really don't wanna put it off
until--

- What about, uh, Thanksgiving?
- Two days from now?

- Great idea.
- No, Lucy, no no-no.

Luce? Lucy.

Wait, wait, wait.

You know that I was in
the Turkey Trot

and then it's Thanksgiving
dinner,

my favourite meal of the year.
- I know.

I know, that's why...

- Woo! What do you think, huh?

- Um... uh, uh, um...

I'm-I'm-I'm cooking it.

- Cooking what?
- Thanksgiving dinner.

- Wait, hold on. Lucy!

Hey, but, but you don't cook.

- I do.

And I will. I am.

- No, see, my mom would kill--

She lives to cook
Thanksgiving dinner.

- I'm sorry, did someone say

I don't have to get up
at the butt crack of dawn

and spend all day slaving over
a thankless holiday meal?

Where do I sign?

- Great! Yeah,
then it's perfect.

I'm cooking Thanksgiving dinner
and you both are coming.

- Great.

- Swimming.
- Ah, swimming.

- Yeah, swimming.
Diving, water...

- Fish! Fish!
- Oh, whoa.

- A squiggly... a squiggle...
You're a swimmer.

- Mom, I can do it. Please?
I already invited Jordan's mom.

- Ears!
- Brrr...

- You're swimming with gills...
and a gown.

- All right, this is weird.
That's time.

- It's a mermaid! Mermaid!

Mother cooks, end of story.

- Dad, it was your idea.

You said that cooking was
how mom landed you.

- What?! You did?

Well, that's not
what happened at all.

He used to cook for me.

- Dad cooked?
- Of course, he did.

All the time.

And then we got married
and had you kids,

and he stopped cooking at home

and started focusing on
the pizzas.

- 'Cause your mother was better
at the real food,

which is why she's cooking
Thanksgiving.

- Mooooom, please!

Please!
I already promised Jordan.

- Well, if you really think
you can do it,

I would kind of like the break.
- Yes!

- No, no, Mom, listen,
all right?

My girlfriend's gonna be there

and that means the food
has to be edible.

- Invisible girlfriends
don't each much.

She'll be fine.
- I'm going to bed.

Come on, honey.
- Oh honey, you go on up.

I'm not tired at all.

I think I'm gonna get
a workout in.

Who wants to join me
on the rings?

- Hard pass.
Let's go, dude.

- Go where?
- I already told you.

I'm meeting some people
at the bar.

Uber's here, let's go.
- We're beat from the drive.

Good night, guys.
- Good night.

- Good night.
- Okay, everybody.

Not too late. Tomorrow is
a big shopping day.

- You wanna come with us?

- To a bar? I'm 19.

- Oh, right.
I forget that sometimes.

No fake ID?
- Why would I have a fake ID?

- Because, I don't know,
you're in college.

- Well, I don't have a fake ID.

And even if I did,
which I don't,

I can't go anyway.

I need to start planning my
Thanksgiving menu for Jordan.

- Right, Jordan. Got it.

- What do you have against
Jordan?

- How much time you got?

- You know what? Forget it.
You don't even know him.

You know nothing about him.

I know everything I need
to know, okay?

Basic, boring,
high school hero.

He'll never do anything
outside of this town

because he's a king here.

All that guy's gonna do is
hold you back.

Leo: Dude, come on, let's' go!

- Anyway, that's none of
my business.

See ya.

- Watch it, or I'll make you
eat jelly worms!

Oh my gosh!

This is exciting!
Oh, you guys...

- You're gonna look exactly--
- You got me a stick ball.

They don't even know
they got it for me.

Thank you, honey. I know...
Muah! I know you did!

- Dad?
- Oh, what did you guys get me?

- Oh. Oh,
I'm sorry, I... I...

Uh, I forgot you were sleeping
down here in the basement.

- Dad, are you crying?

Your mother's gonna leave me.
- What?

- Dad, that's crazy.

No, she's not.
- It's true.

She's been flirting with that
loser Kramer for months now.

- Jerry Kramer?
The cheese man?

- She's got the blonde hair
and new body.

You know,
he's not even Italian.

- Dad... come on, mom loves you.

She's not gonna leave you
for the cheese man

or for anybody.

- I hope you're right.

I just...

I wish I knew what I did wrong.

- Dad, you didn't do anything
wrong.

Okay?
- Okay.

- You are perfect
just the way you are.

- Oh...

- Look...

- Oh...

- Muah.
- Watch it.

- Hey, you still up?
- Yeah, it's 10:30.

- Oh. Yeah, I guess I didn't
feel much like being out.

- Where's Leo?

- Still at the bar waiting
for his girlfriend to show up.

- So it's gonna be a long night.

- Very.

- Well...
- Night, Mean Dean.

- Night... Lucy.

Nancy: Honey,
wake up!

- Mom, it's still dark out!

- Well, you're the one
that wants to cook.

We always shop early.
It's tradition.

- You tattooed your eyebrows

and turned my childhood bedroom
into a sex den,

and this is what
you're clinging to?

- I see daylight!

- Aghhhh!

- Good morning, ladies.
- Ugh.

- I thought we could use

a man along to help us
with the heavy lifting.

- Oh, that's a good idea, mom.
Where is he?

- That's funny.
- Enough, Lucy.

Thanks for your help, Dean.

I'm glad you're here.

- One sourdough rye,
one cinnamon challah

and two dozen butter flake
dinner rolls.

- I always bake my rolls
from scratch.

- You do?
- Mm-hmm.

- But that'll take forever.

- Well, it's your dinner,
honey.

- You know, I bet Jordan likes
store-bought rolls anyway.

- Actually, cancel the rolls.
I'll make them myself.

Both: Mmm!

- This is cranberry.

Okay, so we've got 11 people.

Half a pound each,
plus leftovers...

Does 20 pounds sound all right
or is that too big?

- I'm more of a ham guy myself.

- I was asking my mother.

Mom?
- This honey mustard is to die.

Oh Dean, you have to try it.

- No, wait, wait, no...
- Mmm!

Turkey or ham?

- I'm vegan.

- Hmm. You got it?

- Mhmm. Well, with turkey,
I like sauvignon blanc.

- Mmm.
- Mhmm.

- Can I get a sample of that?

- Mom! It's 9:30 in the morning.

- So? The French drink wine
for breakfast all the time.

- I'm pretty sure they don't...

and we're not French.

- Did you say you had a red?
- Mhmm.

- Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa.

No-no-no-no. Uh, this way.

- Dean, you're the sweetest.
Practically family.

- Actually, he's not.

Okay, we got sugar,

flour, cinnamon...

Apple pie is Jordan's favourite.

- Apple pie is so boring.

Ooh, I know,
let's do a rum cake.

- Ooh, rum cake sounds
fantastic.

- Nobody asked you.
- Jerry?!

Ooh, this could be
an emergency.

- Cheese emergency?
- Hi, Jerry!

No, not busy at all!

- Okay, Julia Child,
what's next?

- Cranberry sauce.

- Whole berry or jellied?

- My mom's screwing
the cheese man.

- Okay... one of each then.

- Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Come on, Nancy?

She's not the type.
- Well, she didn't used to be,

but now I'm not so sure.
She's changed.

Stuffing mix.

- Well, change is good, right?

Traditional or cornbread?
- Traditional.

No, no, I hate that saying:

Change is good.

I could lose my foot in
a horrible chainsaw accident

and that would be a change.
Arguably, not a good one.

- Wait, why are you using
a chainsaw?

- I'm just saying not all
change is good, okay?

Sometimes things need
to stay the same.

Like the town you grew up in,

the boyfriend you've had
since junior high,

your parents' marital status.
Nutmeg.

- Hold on. If you're so
anti-change,

why did you go away to college
in another state?

Whole or ground?

- Because I got a scholarship.
Ground.

- Yeah, but you also got
an offer from Boise State.

Fresh is better.

- How did you know that?

- Oh, uh... Leo told me.

- No, Leo didn't know about it.

Nobody did. I didn't even tell
my parents.

- Huh, that's, that's weird.
I can't remember.

Anyway, the point is Boise's
two hours away.

You didn't have to go
all the way to Arizona.

- Whatever. It doesn't matter.
It was a mistake

and I'm probably not going
back. Apples.

- Wait. Wait, what did you say?

- You heard me.
I'm probably not going back.

- Are you crazy?
You have to go back.

- Why do you care?

Excuse me, are these organic?
- Because I do, okay?

Escaping this town is gonna be
the best thing

that ever happened to you,
believe me.

- Well maybe I'm just not cut
out for all that sun. Hmm?

Maybe I belong in Hailey.

Now, can we please just drop it?

- There has to be something
you like about Arizona.

- Maybe we should find my mom.

- One thing and I'll let it go.
- No.

- Come on.
- No!
- One thing.

- No! Fine!
- Just give me one.

Fine...

I guess my architecture class
is kind of cool.

- I'm listening.

Okay, so we had to design
these plans

to repurpose existing
structures

in an eco-friendly way.

So, I came up with this concept
to take old the windows

and turn them into tiny little
greenhouses.

And the glass absorbs
the sunlight,

creating a year-round temperate
climate to grow vegetables

and they're also small enough

so you can install them
on an apartment roof.

- Seriously? That's...

that's brilliant.

- Shut up.

- No, I mean it.

Individual engagement
in food sourcing

could solve the global soil
nutrient crisis,

and probably help save
the planet.

Business major with an emphasis
on social responsibility.

- I didn't know you were
so interested in business.

- Oh, you think I hang out
at the pizza place

with your parents for fun?

- Okay.
So what do you wanna do?

- You know, I'm not sure yet.

Believe it or not, you don't
have to have your whole life

planned out at 19.

The world is full
of possibilities, Lucy.

But I promise you,
we're not gonna find them

sitting around Hailey
the rest of our lives.

- Lucy? What's going on here?

Are... are you eating
strawberries?

- Strawberries! Uh...
God, get 'em away from me!

- Ohmigod, ohmigod, ohmigod.
- Lucy, you okay?

- Get it out.

- Whew!

Ohmigod, that was a close one.
- Huh.

- Hi, Schmoop! Hey!
- Hey...

- Um, you remember,
uh, Dean, Leo's friend?

Uh, Dean, you know Jordan,
my boyfriend.

- Boyfriend. Right.

- Leo's friend. Cool.

So you're just hanging out
at the grocery store

with Leo's friend?
- No, well, my mom's here too.

She's around here somewhere.

And, and Dean's just staying
with us for Thanksgiving.

Well, with Leo...
in the basement.

What're you doing here?
- Grabbin' a protein shake.

Uh, just ran the Turkey Trot.

- Oh, I think you're a day
early.

That's a good plan, though.
Less competition.

- No, Jordan always runs
the course early.

He likes to have
a base time to beat.

- 31:18. A new PR.

You run, Dean?
- No, not if I can help it.

- Jordie, Muscle Madness
or Buff Brew?

- Oh! Hey, Lucy... and friend.

- Hey, Katie... in shorts.

Uh, so you two are running
together?

- Oh yeah. I mean,

I was jogging past his place
and... there he was.

It was so random.
- So random.

- Yeah. Yeah, you know, it's...

it's a shame you don't run,
Luce,

'cause Jordan's an amazing
training partner.

- I know, Kate, I know.

Yeah, he's, uh, he's gonna make
an amazing coach some day.

- I always try to get her
to join,

but running's not really
her thing, you know?

- Well, actually,
it um... it is.

- You? Running? Since when?

- Since... pfft,

a while ago.

Yeah, um, and, in fact,

I'm gonna be running
the Turkey Trot...

with you, this year.

- What? W-What? You are?

- You are?
- Mhmm.

- Luce, that's cute,
but the Turkey Trot is a 10K.

It's over 6 miles.
- Is that all?

Sounds like a piece of cake...

um, or pie.

Pie, because, you know, apple...
it's your favourite.

I'm also, I'm making it.

Nancy: Helllooo!
- Mom, where have you been?

- I've been looking all over
the store for you two.

Hey, Jordan! We missed you
at Charades last night.

- Yeah, no we didn't.
- Wait a second!

Did you remember
the "bean greens?"

Your father will burn down
the house

if he doesn't get that
"bean green" casserole.

Oh! Hey. Excuse me.

Whoop, he's not real.

- Is your mom drunk?
- A little bit, yeah.

- "Bean greens." I'm on it.

- Uh, you know, I should,
I should probably go too.

Um, I'll see you tonight
at the homecoming game.

- Sure. And I can pick you up

and we could have some time
to talk in the car.

- Oh, uh... yeah. Yeah, no,
I would love that.

It's just I have to um...

do my warm-up run.

- Oh...
- You know,

for the big trot tomorrow.

- Mhmm.
- Bye, Schmoop.

- Muah. M'kay.
- Bye, Katie.

- Mm.

She's gotten so weird
since high school.

- Lucy!

- Uh...

- Hurry! Help! Call 911!

- Ahh! Agh! My thum ith
thelling! My thum!

- No-no-no, no! Hold on,
hold on, Schmoop!

It's, it's okay.
It's gonna be okay.

- God, Lucy,
how could you kiss him?

- Kiss him? He's my boyfriend.

How could you go running
with him wearing shorts?

- I always wear shorts
when I run.

- It's 12 degrees out.
- My epp-peh-peh...

- What?
- My epp-pehhh-pehhh!

- Peter Pan?
- Uh, papa.

- P-P-Pickled peppers? Pee?

Oh, you have to go to
the bathroom!

- Epp-pehhh-pehhh!
- Is it pizza?

- NO!
- What? Huh?

What?! I'm so confused!
- Epp-pehhh-pehhhh!

- What?!
- Epp-pehhh-pehhhh!

- Oh! Epi-pen!
- Uh-huh!

- I'm so good at this game.
- Bam!

He bounced back like
it never happened.

- Well, he can't dump you now.
You practically saved his life.

- Yeah, well, I'm also the one
who almost killed him,

so, I don't know,
it could go either way.

Moooom! I can't find my crown!

- What is this?

- Aw, it's my pepperoni hat.

Halloween 2017.

I was a slice of pizza

and Jordan was the delivery boy.

- Hmm.
- God, we had such good times.

Oh my gosh!

My class president gavel.

Ohmigod...

What if I peaked in high school?

- Lucy, just because you were
amazing in high school

doesn't mean
you won't be amazing

in the rest of your life.
It means you got a head start.

- Maybe.
As long as I have Jordan.

Jordan is my other half.

- No, he's... a security
blanket.

- Lyds, what's that?

- What's what? Nothing.

- Yes, something on your neck

and it looks a little like
a diamond ring?!

You're engaged?!
- Shh! Don't say anything.

I haven't said yes yet.

- But you're gonna say yes.
- No, I... I don't know,

I'm not sure.
It happened so fast.

- Wait, so you're in love?
- Yes... no...

I don't know. Yes?

- Well, as long as you're sure.

- I am sure.

I love her. I'm just...

it's the rest of my life.

- Yeah, but shouldn't you
just know?

- You can know things

and still be terrified
to make a decision.

- Oh, good, you found
your crown.

- Aw man, my girlfriend can't
make it to the game. She's--

- A ghost?
- An avatar?

- A figment of your imagination?

- She's working!
And you guys all suck!

- Aw, honey,
you look so beautiful.

- Thanks, mom.

- It's my last daughter
to pass on a crown.

- I wasn't homecoming queen,
Mom.

- Well, you could've been.
You just refused to campaign.

- Because I wasn't running.

- I would've voted for you.

- Well, I want a good seat,
so let's go.

Shoot me the keys, pops.

- I am going to run a few
errands and meet you there.

- What errands could you
possibly have at this hour?

- You know, just the...

usual errands.

- You know, on second thoughts,

I think I'll um... I'll pass.

- What? Ron, why?

- I just, just don't feel
up to it.

Maybe I'm coming down
with something.

- But we never miss a game,

and it's Lucy's last goodbye
to high school.

- Lucy won't mind, will you?

- No, it's, it's okay, Dad.
- Well...

- You okay?

- Oh, yeah, yeah... yeah.

- Woo!
- Nice, Nice.
- Hey!

Look, there's Mom!
- Oh.

- Hi!

- Hi, mom.
- Muah! Muah!

- Thank you.

- Hey, Luce, uh,
I know this is a bad time,

but I, I really need--
- Uh, L-L-L-Leo!

Look, there's Leo! Lydia! Hi!

- Oh yeah.
- Hey!

Hey.
- Jordan, wave!

- Hey!

Hi! Um...

Luce, th-there's just something
that I need to say to you

and I can't wait anymore.
- No.

- Uh, please, this is,
this is really important.

- No, no-no-no, not here.
Not now!

- I know it's, it's a bad time,

but the, the thing is
I care about you.

- No, you don't.
- Hey, of course I do.

- Stop!
- Okay, wait, hey.

- Stop the car!
- Don't say that.

Sorry, this isn't the time or--
- Stop! Stop the car!

Stop the car!
- Oh hey! Hey-hey-hey!

Luce! Lucy!

Lucy, wait!

- What the hell's happening?

- I'm sorry!

Okay, man, I'm gonna be
right back. Just...

All right. Lucy!

Lucy!
- Ohmigod.

- Leo?

- Luce!
- Leo?

- Lucy, just come back.
- Leo!

- Jordan, what's happening?
- Look, just give me a second.

- Leo!

- Lucy, come back!

- Leo, Lydia, we have to go!

- Can't hear you!
- We have to go get mom!

- It's too loud! Speak up!

- We have to go get mom!

Mom's screwing the cheese man!

...out of his delivery fee!

And Dad is very upset...

that... we won't have cheese
tomorrow.

So we should go.

- Let's go.
- Let's go. All right.

- Hey, Luce, Luce,
should I come?

- No!

- God, that family
is so bonkers.

So, you wanna come over?

Lydia: Wait, what're we doing?

- Where do you think
they're going?

- A motel? His place?

Dark alley?
- Anna, not helping.

- Not answering.

What kind of a mother doesn't
answer her child's call?

- The cheating kind?

- Now this,
this is crazy, okay?

Mom's not cheating.
She's... not the type.

- That's what I said.

- Uh, wait,
you knew about this?

- I, uh, just mean
hypothetically.

Uh, statistically.
Theoretically.

- Stop!

All:

- I thought I was supposed
to follow 'em.

- Yeah, follow them.

Don't smash into them
like a Mario Kart game.

Leo: I mean, see? See?

It's just like a... it's a,
it's a business meeting.

C-c-can we go back
to the game now?

Anna: Yeah, I always bring
luggage with me

to business meetings,
you know, just in case.

- Well, I mean, there could be
anything in that bag

like receipts,
important papers.

You know, cheese.

- Silk pyjamas and a passport?

- Oh, it's Dad.
What should I do?

All: Uh, don't answer it!

Dean: Uh, go! Go, go, go!
Lucy: Don't go!

Oh god, literally,
the worst driver!

You're literally the worst.
Dean: Turn left, left.

Lucy: All right! Okay, okay.
Go slow, go slow.

Dean: Go that way.

Anna: It's always a roadside
diner.

I mean, nobody has an affair
in like a McDonald's

or a tire store.

- They're having a secret
meeting at a remote location.

That doesn't mean anything.

- Yeah, except the affair thing.

- Please, babe... not helping.

- I'm sorry. I practice
marital law.

I am a realist.

Uh, but I'm also a romantic.

- What could she possibly see
in the cheese guy, right?

- Well, he's got the best
mozzarella

in the county, right?

Is-is anyone else hungry?

- I'm not just gonna sit here.
I'm goin' in.

- No, no, you can't.
What if we're wrong?

- What if we're right?

What if tonight's the night
where it's all goin' down,

right, and we just sat here
doin' nothin'?

- You can't make a scene!

You want the whole town
to know Mom's cheating?!

- Oh God...

Lydia: Now Mom's definitely
gonna see us.

- Be cool.

- You kids are blocking
a dumpster.

Gonna have to ask you
to relocate.

- Sorry, Officer, I um...

uh, yeah, not a problem.

Um, I'm on it.

- You wouldn't happen to have
an extra slice of that pizza,

would you? Pepperoni?

- Oh, oh, sorry, dude,
Officer dude.

I mean, all we've got is like
a, is like a cold slice

of vegetarian in the back, so...

- I'll take it.
- Lydia?

Pizza for our nice police
officer friend

who's standing at the window,
not leaving.

- Here.
- Thank you.

Oh, I mean, come on,
can we get the guy a napkin?

- Leo!

- Okay. Um...

Yeah.

Enjoy.

- Pizza on a stick. Clever.

Get a move on.

Take care, kids. Good night.
Get home safe.

Phew...
- Just cold vegetarian.

- Wha?
- Wait, we had pizza?

- God, there's got to be
something we can do.

- Well, I know a guy
who could take care of Jerry...

make it look like
a total accident.

- Told you I was kidding.

- It's not Jerry's fault.
Mom's the one who's married.

- He's not innocent. I mean...

what kind of man goes after
a taken woman?

- Maybe he thinks
she's not happy.

- Of course
she's happy.

She's happy.
They both are happy.

We just have to remind them of
how happy they were together.

Wait...

I have an idea.

Watch.

- Yeah,
I remember this one.

I, uh, I wrote: Happy Barfday
on Mom's card,

instead of birthday.
- Nice.

- And then you barfed.

Anna: Even then you were
adorable.

- No, no, no, no, guys,

listen to me. If we just get
mom to see this,

then she'll forget
all about Jerry.

- You don't know that, Luce.

Maybe they've just outgrown
each other.

- No.
- Yes. Sometimes people change.

- No, no, no! Stop!

I'm sick and tired of people
telling me

that things need to change.
Things don't need to change.

Change sucks!
- Okay, calm down.

- I am calm!

Nancy : Lydia, did you
make these or did you buy them?

Oh my God!

- I'm very calm. I'm just...
- This is exciting!

- I'm tired.

- You're gonna look exactly
like that.

- I'm gonna go to bed.

Ron : Well done, guys.
Well done.

Nancy: Lucy!
Leo: Happy Barfday!

- Well?
- Oh, sorry.

- She sleeps here, yeah.
- Oh!

- Night, sweetie.

Oh God...

Hey.

- Hey.

Can't sleep?

- I don't think
I'll ever be able to sleep.

- Pull up a black countertop.

- God, everything's a mess.

- Here. Frozen Tater-Tots make
everything a little better.

- My God, we still have
Tater-Tots?

- Ohmigod...

I really love frozen food
so much.

- No way. Me too.

Seriously, I actually prefer
my foods frozen.

Waffles, pancakes, pizza.

- Fish sticks and French fries.
Oh...

chocolate chip cookies.

- What're you listening to?
- Oh, it's a...

indie band.

Probably not your thing.

- James Supercave.
- You know James Supercave?

- I love James Supercave.

You left your music playing
last summer, so...

I went downstairs to turn
it off...

and I couldn't stop listening.

- Wow!

Well, you're welcome.

- Yo! You guys still up?

- Um, uh, what?
Nothin', nothin'.

- What's goin' on?
- Oh dude, what? Nothin'.

Just, just having
a late-night snack

with Lucy Goosey here.

You know how she loves
her snacks.

Um, okay, what'll it be?

Uh, yogurt? Pickles? Um...

Ooh, sugar-free chocolate
pudding.

- Yeah, give me one of them
puddings. Yeah.

Yeah, thank you.

- Lucy Goosey? Pudding?

- Uh...
- Oh, dude, just uh...

yeah, give me that entire jar
of pickles.

- Yeah.
- Thank you.

- Actually, I'm not hungry.
- Nice.

More for me.

So, what'd I miss?

- Oh, not a thing, Leo.

Not a thing.

- Luce.

Lucy.

Lucy, are you awake?

- Good Lord,
where's the kitchen?

- Hey, Dad, Happy Thanksgiving.

Are you hungry?
- I can smell coffee,

but I don't see it.

- Okay... okay, here we go.

- Fantastic. Thank you.

- How is it?
- It's good.

That's good, honey.
It's just um, it's a tad hot.

Uh, hot? No, uh, uh, strong.

- Oh my God, it smells
delicious in here.

Who made muffins?

- I did. From scratch at 5 a.m.
- Thank you.

- You've been up since 5?

- Well, 4 a.m., actually.

I had to make the bread dough
for the rolls first.

Coffee?
- Oh yes, please.

- You wanna go light on
the coffee.

- Okay. These look amazing!

- Something wrong?
- Mm. Mm-mm.

No, no. I uh...

I love my muffins... sour.

- Mm, and uncooked
in the middle.

Muffins are usually so dry.

- Thanks.

Yeah, I was nervous that
the frozen blueberries

wouldn't work as well, but...

- Smells good.
- Oh hey, Leo!

- Hi.
- Friend.

Coffee?
- Sure, but...

who are you and what did you do
with my sister?

- Here you go.
- Thank you.

- Okay. Um, my pie crust
is chilling.

The stuffing is roasting.
Um...

Oh, oh, can somebody baste
the bird

while I'm at the Turkey Trot?
- Can we talk please?

- You're seriously gonna run?

- Yes. Of course.
The Turkey Trot is a tradition.

And every year I've just stood
on the sidelines

giving people water.

This year I wanna take part
in the action.

More coffee?
All: No!

- Thank you so much though.
- Good morning, family!

- Morning.

What're you so chipper about?
- Oh,

why shouldn't I be chipper?
It's Thanksgiving Day.

I'm surrounded by
my loved ones.

Life is good.

- Is it, mom? Is it?

- Ooh, my goodness, Lucy,
how can I help?

- No, it's all under control.

I will baste your turkey,
Honey.

- Oh Ron, you're not gonna go
to the Trot either?

What's gotten into you?

- Oh, nothing's got into me,
Nancy.

What's gotten into you?

What on earth does that mean?

- Ugh! Oh, these are so good,
Lucy. So good.

- I didn't hear you come to bed
last night.

- Must have been a late one?

Anna: Seriously, you should
open a bakery.

- Yeah, I guess.
I can be sneaky.

It's hot! Hot coffee.

- Why are you all acting
so strange?

- We're fine. Are you fine?

- Please talk to me.
- Shoot!

We're out of olive oil.
- Ah, top shelf on the pantry.

Dean, can you help her reach?
- No, I don't need his help.

- Look, Luce, let me help you.

- Got it.
- No, you don't.

- I said I got it. Ungh!

Let go of me!

- Look, okay, listen,
about last night,

let me explain.
- Explain what?

I'm just Lucy Goosey, right?
Leo's stupid little sister!

- God, no! No!
Look,

I only started calling you that
because... because I liked you.

- Oh yeah, no, that makes
sense.

Every girl loves to be
nicknamed after water fowl.

Let me go!

- Look, I know I blew it last
night. I-I-I freaked out.

And Leo said he'd kill me
if I ever thought about you.

- Yeah, well good.
I don't even care.

I don't even like you.
You're just Mean Dean!

- Ahh! You hit me.

- You kissed me.
- You kissed me back.

- No, I didn't.
I have a boyfriend.

- A boyfriend
who wants to dump you.

- No, he doesn't. He just
thinks that he does,

but I'm changing his mind.

- You shouldn't have to change
anyone's mind.

You're perfect just the way
you are.

- Can you please just move?
I have a Turkey Trot to run.

- Good luck.

- You sure you're sure
about this?

- Let's really focus on beating
out last time.

- Yeah, sure.
- Yeah, okay.

- Lucy! Over here!

- Hi! Yeah.
Yeah, sure I'm sure.

Wish me luck.
- Good luck.

Agh! Schmoop!

Happy Thanksgiving!

- Ohmigod, you were serious.
- Ohmigod, yes.

Yes, I was serious. Why does
everybody keep asking me that?

- No, it's just you've never
done it before, you know?

And you're not exactly in...
in shape.

- He means you're not athletic.

- Oh, really, Katie?
Is that what he means?

Are you like Jordan's
interpreter now?

- I just, I just don't want you
to get hurt, that's all.

- Schmoop, don't worry about
me. Okay, I'm gonna be fine.

I'm a lot stronger than
you think. I got this.

Agh!
- Hey, hey...

- Agghhh...
- Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Hey, look, look. Look,
just take it easy, okay?

You don't have to prove
anything.

- I know.

Race Marshall: Okay, runners,
everybody to the start line!

- Let's do this. We got this.
Let's just do this.

- Come on, run, run, run!

Everybody on the start line!

Get ready!

- Good luck, Lucy!

- Aw!

- Uh...

- Come on, Luce. Run!

- Okay. Okay, okay, okay,
I can do this.

I can do this. Just run.

Schmoop! Schmoop!
This is so much fun.

- Yeah! Yeah. Oh yeah.

- Jordan, come on.
You're off time. Let's go!

- You wanna go on ahead?

- No, no-no, this is great.
We're doing this together.

- No, it's okay. I'll be fine.

- Are you sure? Okay, thanks.

- Oh God... what was I thinking?

Lucy, pull it together.

Shhh...

Nancy: What time is it?

- There she is!

- Lucy!

Lucy, yes! You got it!

Lydia: C'mon, Sis!

- C'mon! Go, go, run!

- Come on, honey,
you can do it.

You're almost there.

- Mom?

- Okay... okay...

Nancy: Come on, honey.

Jordan: Luce! Lucy!

- Oh my God...

I did it.

I did it.

I'm a runner!

I ran a 10K!
I'm a runner!

- I'm so proud of you!

- I can't believe that
you actually did it.

I'm so proud of you.
- Let me down.

I'm gonna pee on myself.

- Congrats, Sis,
you're a star.

- Water, I need water.

- We better get you home so you
can rest up for the big dinner.

- Oh my God, dinner.
- Oh, don't worry, we can help.

- Listen, Schmoop,

I-I have so much that I need
to say to you right now.

- Right now?
- Uh, we'll go get the car.

- Oh great, I'll just hang out
with Lucy and Jordan.

- How about you don't, Mom.
Come on.

- Lucy, these past few days...

listen, come here, come here,
let's sit down.

- Luce...

- Listen, listen. Wow...

Luce, like I was saying,

these past few days
have been amazing.

I mean, I've seen sides to you

that I didn't even know
existed.

You're not the same girl
that I knew in high school.

- I'm not?
- No. No.

Something about you
is different.

For the better.
- Oh.

- To be honest, I was thinking
we should maybe break up.

- Still? I-I mean, you were?

- I was. But I...

but not anymore, no.

No, 'cause you've made me
realize

that we belong together...
forever.

- Oh wow, ew!

Are you okay?

Hey. Hey, here, here.
Drink some, drink some water.

Here you go, yeah.

Yeah, that happens.
- Mm.

- Mhmm. My first 10K,
I did the same thing.

- Mhmm.
- I did the same exact thing.

And brussels sprouts.
Disgusting.

- Mm. Mm.
- It's fine.

- Yeah. You good?

- Um...

Oh... Jordan, I'm...

I need to tell you something.

- Mhmm? What?

- I kissed someone.

- I'm sorry, you what?
- I know, I didn't mean to.

It just happened and...

I just feel like you deserve
to know.

- Lucy, that...

that's...

fantastic.

- It is?

- Wow, yeah.
I kissed someone else too.

- W-w-what?

- Yeah. Wow!

That feels good.

- Let me guess, Katie Logan?

- Oh! Okay, two someones.

But that doesn't matter
because this is great news.

We're even now, yeah.

I'm so happy!

Baby...

Oh, um...

- You gotta go?
- Yeah, I have to go.

- Okay. Yeah.
- Okay... Ahh!

- Okay, slowly.
All right, Schmoop,

I'll see you soon.
- Yeah...

- And I can't wait to taste
your home cooking.

- Uh... yeah.
- Oh!

- Yeah, the throw-up. Okay.
- Mhmm.

Bye, Schmoop!

Woo-hoo-hoo!

We're Jord and Lucy!
We're Juicy!

- All right, watch out!

Comin' through. Hot buns.

- How's this look?
- Thinner and diced not sliced.

And whoa, okay, that's plenty.

Uh, let's just spread those out
to cover the edge.

- Got it.
- Dad, this looks incredible.

You didn't have to do all this!
- Happy to help, honey.

Your turkey is gonna need
another half hour

and some time to rest.

I have done the potatoes,
I've finished the pies.

All that's left is to make
a salad.

I'm gonna go pick up
your grandmother, so uh...

Muah! All right? Call with any
questions, all right?

- 'Kay. I've got it all
covered. Thank you.

I'm gonna make a salad.

- No, do not make a salad.

- Nobody eats salad
at Thanksgiving.

They just put it on their plate
to feel less guilty.

- I eat salad.

- Right. No salad.

I'm gonna set the table.

Lydia, Anna,

Leo, Leo's invisible
girlfriend.

- So are we just not gonna talk
about what happened?

- Yes, we are not.
Mom. Me.

Jordan.
- Jordan? He's still coming?

- Yes, of course he's still
coming.

Why wouldn't he still be
coming?

- Because we kissed.
- Shhh!

So I'm just supposed to cancel
Thanksgiving dinner?

- Oh, so I'm just supposed to
cancel how I feel about you?

- Me. Jordan.

Leo's friend.

- Whoa, do not sit me
next to that guy.

- Fine. You don't have to sit
there at all.

- You can't uninvite me.
- It's my dinner.

I can do what I want.
Now give me the plate!

Let go... of the plate.

- No, you let go.

- Let go!
- Let go.

- Give it to me!
- Give me that.

- You're being a baby!
- No, now you're being a baby!

- Give it!

- Ah, I'm so... ohmygod,

I did not mean to do that.
- Oh no!

- It's okay, mom.
It's fine, it's fine.

- Emergency.
The police just called.

The alarm's going off at Rony's
I gotta get down there.

Where's your father?
- He went to go get Grandma.

- Oh gosh, okay.
Uh, where's your brother?

- Um, he's in the shower.
I'll take you.

- You will? Thank you.
- Yeah.

- I just don't trust myself
with that stick shift,

especially when everything's
so excited like this.

- What just crashed?

- My hopes and dreams of
a perfect Thanksgiving dinner.

I got it. Lydia, I got it.

- Happy Thanksgiving!
- Jerry?

- You know, your invitation
was such a surprise.

- Wasn't it though?
- I mean, honestly,

I usually spend Thanksgiving
on my own at that diner

on Highway 17,
so, this is a real treat.

- Yeah, I bet.

Uh, please come in.
- Oh, 'kay.

- I'm just curious.
Who invited you exactly?

- Hello, Jerry.
- Ciao, Leonardo!

- Thanks.

- You know, guys,
it was a bit of a drive.

You don't mind, I'm gonna ask
you where the uh...

- Yeah, of course.
Uh, it's upstairs to the left.

- Uh, thank you.

Hey, Bellissima, how are you?
- Hi, Jerry.

- You invited Mom's boyfriend
to Thanksgiving?

Are you insane?
- Come on, relax.

I got a plan.

- Well, I don't have time
for a plan, Leo.

I have 11 people coming
for dinner!

- Well, 12, if you count
the Cheese Man.

What?!
- 'Kay, look,

do you wanna save Mom and Dad's
marriage or not, huh?

So our parents bought
this house 25-years-ago,

and as you can see,
they built a life here.

It's... It's a happy life too.

- So why don't you tell us
a bit about yourself, Jerry.

- Me? Now? Of cour... of course.

Um, well, I'm originally
from Rhode Island--

- And you've been spending
quite a bit of time

with our mother lately.

- Have I? Yeah. I mean...

Well, you know, I've been
delivering cheese to your folks

for years now, so, you know.
Yeah, we...

- Of course,
that's what he meant.

- So, you admit it.
You like our mother.

- Nancy?

Yeah, absolutely!

She's the real deal.

You know, not a lot of women
can tell the difference

between a Havarti
and a Baby Swiss.

So, yes, very unique.

- And that's really all
it's about, huh?

Cheese?

- Is Nancy gonna be home soon
or...?

- Oh, we got some time actually.

- Oh, where are we going now?

- The grand tour carries on.
- Hey, great.

Now, I wonder if I can put
this down?

- Put 'er down anywhere.
- Okay.

- Yeah, that's fine,
right there. Yeah.

- What is this place?
What're you doing?

- You're just gonna have to go
ahead and sit down there,

cheese man.
Yeah. Right here.

Yeah, make yourself
comfortable.

It might get hot in here.

- Uh, what's going on?
Where's Nancy?

- Oh, you don't worry about
Nancy right now.

You just worry about yourself,
buckaroo.

- Okay, well, Leo,
let's not scare him.

- I'm not scarin' him!
- You're scaring me a little.

- Well, good, good. Then...

then you're gonna watch this.

Lucy, video.
- Leo.

I'll do it myself.

- Am I on camera? Look, I don't
know what type of stuff

you kids are into...

- You are going to sit there

and you're going to watch.

You're gonna watch what
you're trying to tear apart

and you're gonna understand

that there are consequences.
to your little fun and games.

- Fun and games?
Look, I don't know...

what type of sick game
you people are playing--

- The best in town.

- Nancy? Nancy, help!
- You cannot do that!

- Oh my God, Leo,
you have to stop!

- Using a restraint is
technically kidnapping.

- It is not kidnapping.
He was invited in.

- He's not a vampire!
- Oh, we don't know that.

- You're gonna get more
about this.

Just bucking bronco.
- Leo, let him go!

- Please!
It's for your own good!

- Stop it!
- This is crazy. You have to
stop!

- Don't be a cry baby,
Mr. Cheese Man.

We're not gonna hurt you.
We're friends here.

- Now just... just watch this

and-and we will be back in time
to get you for dinner.

- No!
- What?

- Dude!

- Kids, we're home!
- Definitely going to jail.

- Relax, no one's going
to jail.

- There you are.

- False alarm.
- False alarm.

Is that so?

Weird.

- I have no idea
what set it off,

but, uh, Ben and Terry were
just getting off shift,

so I invited them
to Thanksgiving.

- Take your coat, Officer?
Leo: That's great!

Hey, Officers,
I can just go up here

and get you some,
some wine if you want.

If you're thirsty, I can get
some for you right now.

- No can do. Still on duty
for the next...

23 minutes.
- Okay.

- Oh, is that so?
That's awesome.

- Happy, happy! Here we are.

- Grandma!
- Hello, Grandma!

Grandma!
- Ron!

- Well, what, what'd we miss?

- Oh, well, the alarm went off
at the restaurant

and the officers were invited
to dinner.

- Great. What's that gonna
cost us?

- Oh, I hope we're not late.
- Oh no, not at all.

Come in, come in!
I'm so happy you're here.

- Luce, you look beautiful.
- Hi.

- I'm standing here all day.

Do you plan on burying me
in this coat?

- No. No, no, no.
- I'm sorry,

Grandma, I'll get it.

- Gentlemen, do you want to,
uh, come get a drink?

- Enough with the bell already!
- No way.

Oh, she actually made it!

Dude, I got this, I got this.
Thank you though.

Darcy, baby, you look hot!

- Oh boy, there's a Darcy.

- Uh, Mom, Dad, everyone,
this is Darcy.

- You owe me for a limo.

Nice digs!

And this little peanut is
my Rocco.

We call him the Rockster.

- Bam-bam-bam, you're all dead!

- Hey, little buddy,

we try not to shoot people
on Thanksgiving, okay?

- You're not my mom!
Bam-bam-bam!

- Isn't he the cutest?
- What's that smell?

I didn't ride for an hour
in the backseat

with no ventilation
for a burned dinner!

- My turkey!

- Oh, thank you.

Lucy: Okay, here it comes!

- All right.

'Scuse me, everybody.

I'd like to make
an announcement.

My announcement is that
I'm gonna be transferring

to Arizona to be with Lucy.

- Oh!

- Holy shit, she dropped
the turkey!

- I know it's a surprise,

but I just don't wanna be away
from you anymore.

- Um, can we just talk about
this later?

- What's there to talk about?

I mean, obviously they're gonna
want me.

It's practically a done deal.
- No, it's not.

- Uh, okay, this guy again?

- Ohmigod, can we not do this
right now?

- Who are you?
Who is this?

- Oh, that's Dean.
He's practically family.

- He's really not.
- I'm really not.

- What is going on?
- Nothing. Nothing. It's fine.

Can we all just eat? Please,
the food's getting cold.

- Lucy, I'm sorry I was an ass,
okay, but I meant what I said.

And that kiss...
- Kiss?

- Yes, I knew it.
- Kiss?! What kiss?

Dean: That kiss was the best
I've ever had.

I know you felt it too.
- Dean, please...

- Wait, this is the guy
you kissed?

- Yes, but it--
- You kissed my sister?

- Dude, I'm sorry.
- Well, I told you,

you touch her, you're dead.
- Hey, okay, stop this.

Everyone calm down, okay?

I have my own announcement
I'd like to make.

- Oh no, you don't!

- Oh!

- This is my house,

and if anyone's making
any announcements it's me!

I want a divorce.

- What?

- Hah! You heard me.
- Dad, no.

- Uh, Ron, you can't mean that.

- Don't pretend you weren't
gonna say it first.

The jig is up, missy!
I know everything!

I know that you're in love
with that that-that-that...

the cheese man.

- What?!
- You are?

Nancy, is that true?

Are you in love with me?

- Jerry,
what are you doing here?

- Well, I was invited,
but frankly--

- Ungh!
- D'oh!

- Ron!
- Officer, I wanna press
charges.

- On what grounds?
- False imprisonment for one.

I show up and the kids
tied me up upstairs

and left me for dead.
- That's not true!

No, no, he tied himself up!

- With our mother.
- Oh...

- And we wanna press
our own charges.

- On what grounds?
- Well, I don't know,

sleeping with a married woman
has to be some sort of crime.

- Babe, let's not go there.
- What, you're married?

- Just a little. Stuffing?

- What do you mean you're
switching schools?

Who do you think's gonna pay
for that?

- He's not switching schools.
- Yes. Yes, I am!

- 29 years - wasted.

- I told you not to marry
that hussy.

- You did?
- It's true. She warned me.

- Never liked ya. Never will.
- Grandma...

- Can you describe the false
imprisonment, sir?

- Yes, I can. I showed up

with a beautiful
and very thoughtful--

- Can we please just eat!
- No, I lost my appetite.

I still can't believe you
kissed that guy!

- Yeah, well, I can't believe
that you kissed every girl

in the tri-state area.
- Wait, you cheated on Lucy?

You dick!
- You cheated on my sister?!

I don't which one of you guys
to punch first!

- Well, what do you want?
I'll kick his ass.

Or I'll kick his ass
and then your ass.

Oh, you want it first?
- Can you please calm down,

Jordan? Jordan.
- No, I'm not gonna calm down.

Whose ass wants
to get kicked first?

- Jordan please, I really
just wanna sit down

and have a nice
Thanksgiving dinner.

- If anyone's getting punched
around here, it's that cheese
head!

- Officer,
are you getting this?

- 'Kay, stop! Stop!

- Momma, I'm scared.

- I know, baby.
We'll go right after pie.

- We are a civilized family.

- Can we spend Thanksgiving
at my family's next year?

- Yes. And every year
after that.

- Stop it!
Stop it! Stop it!

I am not having an affair
with anyone.

Why on earth would you think
that?

- We were watching you, Mom.

- You were spying on me?

- Well, no, not spying. We were
just kinda following you around

without you knowing about it.

Lucy: We did it because
we love you.

We love you and we wanted
to save your marriage.

- Ah, jeez, my kids.

I mean, that's...
that's beautiful.

- Nancy, you might as well
just tell them.

They're gonna find out
soon enough.

- I do not have to listen
to this!

- Yeah, you do! Honey, please.
Oh honey, you do, you do.

Ron, Ron...

I wanted this to be a surprise,

but I think I should
tell you now.

Um...

I'm not having an affair
with Jerry.

- It's Joe at the cleaner's,
isn't it?

- No, it's not Joe. I'm not
having an affair with anyone.

Jerry doesn't want me.

He wants... the restaurant.

- What?
- What?

- Yeah, we've been going over
the books and the taxes

to see what might be fair.

- Sell Rony's? I mean,
that's our lifeblood.

- Oh, honey, it's draining
our lives.

Ron, we have been working
practically non-stop

seven days a week
for the last 20 years,

and I'm tired.
I wanna sleep in.

I wanna travel.
I wanna go on adventures.

I wanna have great sex

while I'm still young enough
to enjoy it...

with my husband.

- You do?
- Of course I do.

You're the only man for me.
You know that.

- Oh my God, I, I thought I
knew that, but I, I just...

I guess I got scared.

I mean, you've changed
so much lately.

- Honey, I thought you lost
interest, so...

I was trying to excite you
again and...

- Baby, I may not always
show it,

but you excite me every day
of our lives.

- Hmm.
- I love you.

- I love you, too.
- Mm... Mm...

- Can we do that later?
- Oh.

- Okay, that's...

- I think I just lost
my appetite.

- So, do you agree, you think
it's time to sell?

- If it's what you want,
that's what I want.

Lucy: Wait, but, but...

I thought I was gonna take over
the restaurant after college?

- Oh, honey, you're so young.
Is that what you really want?

- Come on...

- No...

No, I mean I guess
I thought that I did,

but, but... not anymore.

- Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa.

Wait just a flippin' minute
here.

Anyone stop to think that maybe
I wanted to run

the family business?
All:

- No, not at all.
- Yeah...

- Come on, bro, let's be real.
- No, not even a little.

- Well, why not? I mean, you
didn't really think that like...

I'm gonna be, you know,
a deadbeat musician

living in the basement
for the rest of my life, right?

- Honey, you can't even do
your own laundry,

much less run a business.

- Oh, right, right, yeah.
I'm dumb, yeah.

I'm so dumb that I've been
saving money

and taking online courses -
for what? -

for restaurant management.

- Oh!
- Yeah, you know what?

I actually got some...

some ideas bouncing around
the old noggin'

and some of them are...
pretty good.

- Okay, look, why don't we talk
about this after dinner,

all right? After all,
it is Thanksgiving.

- Yeah.
- Ow! Help!

- My turkey.

Rocco: Bam-bam-bam! Oh! Gah!

You get out for me!
All:

Leo: Call it...

pizza on a stick.

- Pizza on a stick.
This guy.

You know what? I like it.

Not bad, kid. Not bad.

Leo: Uh, maybe we could uh...

sell it out of our new
drive-thru window.

Jerry: Drive-thru pizza.
That's not bad.

That's, that's great, kid.

You know, how do you feel
about partnering up?

- Hey...

- I'm so confused.

- Jordan, I have a confession
to make.

The truth is...

I love strawberries.

- What?
- I do.

I love them.

I always have. I-I love...

strawberry ice creams
and shortcake,

and I haven't had strawberries
in five years because of you.

And I miss them.

- Oh... okay.

- In high school, all I wanted
was to be your girlfriend

and live in our small town

and play it safe
the rest of my life.

- That doesn't sound so bad.

- Yeah, I know and it's not...

for some people.

But not for me.

These last few days have
shown me that...

that I just need to get out
of my comfort zone,

try something new
and scare myself and...

maybe kiss someone else
for a change.

- Ouch.

- I've been letting my fear
of the future

keep me in the past.

And you were actually brave
to wanna dump me.

- Thanks.

- Jordan, I'm...

I'm so sorry, but...

it's over.

I'm turkey dropping you.

- You're whating me?

- Look it up.

- Well?

- Mmm. Mmm!

Honestly?

That's the worst pie
I've ever had in my life.

- I know, it's so bad.

Ugh...

Hey, you never told me

how you knew about the offer
from Boise State.

- Oh, yeah, that.

That must've been the day
that you...

came down and heard my music.

You dropped your ear buds.

Took 'em back to your room.
I saw the letter on your desk.

I wanted to say something,

but I didn't want you to think
I was some kind of stalker.

- Stalker...

Happy Thanksgiving, Lucy.

- Happy Thanksgiving, Dean.

- Hey! Are you not coming
to the Christmas party?

- Can't. I have to finish
this essay.

- Well, you know, Amanda,
this is college.

Sometimes you need to get outta
your room and live a little.

- Are those my flipflops?

- Merry Christmas,
Arizona girl.

- Merry Christmas,
soon-to-be Arizona guy.

- Well, it's not for sure yet,

but my grad-school application
is officially in.

Your parents wrote an awesome
recommendation letter.

- Your mother wrote it all.
She's the brains of the
operation.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Dad, dad, your hair's blue!

- I know that clown
at the salon

turned me into a Smurf.

- Jamal thought it would be
festive for our cruise.

Honey, are you sure you don't
mind us leaving

during your Christmas break?
- Mom, no.

No, I'm excited for you guys.

And anyway, I'll see you
before you go--

Leo: Hey! No, no, no personal
calls on company time!

Come on, this tree ain't gonna
decorate itself.

Let's go, people!
- Ciao, Luciana!

- You're so sexy when you're
in charge.

- I'm not sure
the tree works there.

I think it's better in front
of the window.

- Trust me, I got vision.
- Honey, you retired.

Let's let the new management
put the tree where he wants.

- Help? Please come home.

- I'll be there
in two days.

- It's the longest two days
of my life.

- Mine too.

- Bye, Mean Dean.

- Bye, Lucy...