Turf (2013) - full transcript

C'est l'histoire de quatre potes, quatre petits Français : le Grec (l'ostéopathe), Fifi (qui vit chez sa mère, concierge), Fortuné (l'Antillais qui travaille à la Cogex), et Freddy (le ...


Once upon a time there were 4 guys
who often bet on the race,

4 really close pals
who lived from day to day

hoping for a bit of help from fate.

Hello ladies!

I'm Freddy.
I'm 40 and I'm single.

Morning, everyone!
How's life, Monique?

Up and down like a yoyo.
Pastis tomato?

- On your slate as usual?
- I'll pay you back.

It's gonna be a good day.

A day drinking for free
is a good day, for sure!

Aren't Parisian proprietors sweet?
OK, Ratatouille?

The name's Maurice!

Your mail.
Where are you staying?

With some lovely,
very clean people.

I met them at a taxi rank.

They have a piano.

Bailiffs and Partners this time!

Oh no, Fifi.
You're having water.

That's great.
That's France!

I got my results.
My Gamma GT levels are 200.

From now on, my tipple's
Perrier and lemon. Unbelievable!

- All right, buddies?
- Yeah.

- Having water, Fifi?
- My GGT levels are 200.

You're up early today.

Cordier had a christening.

We rowed again yesterday.
I'll get that arsehole one day.

Who are we betting on today?

Hi, Monique.

- Hi, the Greek.
- OK, lads?

- You're drinking water?
- I'll explain later.

Where were you?

Asian flu, Porte Maillot.

An Asian floozy?

I'm serious!
I'm giving up girls.

Christine saw my mobile.

I'm in trouble.

By the way,
Christine called to say

play her date of birth.
- Shit!

3, 10, 7. Fifi?

Could you place the bet?

"3, 10, 7"? Monark,
Buffalo, Jour de Fête.

There can't be many punters
betting on that!

What is it?

No! I'm sticking to it.

- My back's gone.
- OK. But it's medical.

I'm an osteopath.
Right... Hang on.


OK, here goes.

You have magic hands!

Do you have a card?

Unfortunately, I think...

Right... No abrupt movements.

Make sure you always
bend your knees

and it's important to drink
plenty of water.

- Thanks.
- Here.

- I'm Sandra.
- Nice to meet you.

- Have a good day.
- You too.

Please, gents,
can we get some work done?

Let's go!
Come into my office.

We were pals
- Fortuné, the Greek, Fifi and me -

but very different characters.

We each have
our own betting method.

Fifi hunts for tips...

"I heard from a sure source."

Fortuné is cautious,

the responsible family man,
Mr Minimum Risk.

The Greek's something else.

The Greek is...

What's that?
8, 11, 62...

My health card number.

8, OK. 11, fine.
But 62? There are only 14 horses.

Who cares!
I'm betting to be with you.

It's no dumber
than your impossible bet!

We all met 20 years ago
at Montrouge FC.

The Montrouge Nectarines.

We played midfield.
Remember the Magic Square?

Bloody good team!

We made it as far as
the first round of the French Cup.

Eliminated on penalties.

It's still a sensitive topic now.

We went our separate ways
but often met up.

Fortuné, an accountant,
had found a place

at an equal distance
from all our homes.

His calculations had led us
to a betting cafe,

Le Balto,
Monique and Maurice's place,

on the Place d'Aligre in Paris.

The horses are lined up.

And they're off!

Jour de Fête takes the lead,
followed by Domino.

Go on, Daniel, again!

- Where'd No. 4 come from?
- No idea.

- Go on, Domino!
- Go on, Daniel!

Go on, son!

Daniel, get your whip out!


Come on, go for it.

Overtake, overtake!

Faster, faster, faster...

Am I disturbing you,
de Saint-Hilaire?

No, Mr Cordier.

Could you check
our Icelandic friends' accounts?

Come on!

- See who's here?
- Mr Paul?

Isn't he supposed to be in Qatar?

Come on!

No cuddles today, sweetie?

No. I've got this dumb allergy.

When I kiss someone,
my lips swell, my eyes too...

Monark speeds up,
followed by Buffalo and Jour de Fête.

No. 3, No. 10 and No. 7 leading.

- Not her date of birth...
- Have you lost?

Yes. My slip...

The home straight...

- Go, Buffalo!
- Go, Monark!

Daniel, go for it!
Catch him up.

Come on, go for it!

If Monark wins, I'll eat a rat.

Go for it!
Come on, Daniel!

The winner is No. 3, Monark.

2nd is No. 10, Buffalo,
3rd is No. 7, Jour de Fête.

Pathetic! Pathetic finish!

Thanks a lot!

Monique, it's an emergency!

Did that girl from this morning
come claim any money?

I wrote my number for her
on the betting slip

and it's Christine's winning number!
Shit, shit, shit!


What Qatar like, Mr Paul?

Hot, very hot.

Sonneville's son
wasted no time

changing the initials.

We do miss his dad.

When a jerk gets the family jewels,
it's always a cock-up.

My dear chap!

- What a win!
- Mr Paul,

why are you back?

I was missing France,
especially the racetrack.

I need to see you.
I've some horses to sell.

Tell me, Flat Cap...

What can I do for you?

- Got a metro ticket?
- No. I use a travel pass.

He doesn't look good.
On a long losing streak, huh?

The guy's a broken man.

A broken man indeed.

You're dead, defeated.
You've lost hope.

You swear to never bet again.

Then the night passes,
a new day dawns

and your hope returns.

As we punters say,
"You lose one, you'll win one!"

For sale,

for sale, for sale.

I'm selling half the stable.

I only want the best.

My priority's breeding.
Genetics, genetics, genetics!

Find me some buyers,
and welcome aboard!

I'm doing you this favour
in memory of your dad

for whom I had great respect.

I have a few friends in Qatar

who'll be interested in your offer.

Where'd that horse come from?
Why isn't it in a box?

That's our homeless filly.
She was bought for my sister.

She's the daughter
of Fantômas and Baluchon.

- What's her name?
- Torpedo.

If you can get anything for her...

Honestly though,

between you and me,
she's unsellable.

That depends.

- Show me.
- What?

The winning ticket.
So I can see what it looks like.

8,249 euros.

- You did bet, didn't you?
- Of course I did!

Know what I'm going to do
with the money?

You've spent a bit.

That's just for starters.

We're going to have
our Maldives honeymoon.

Yay! Great!

Great, great, great!

I'll get the tickets tomorrow.

Nikos, why are you pale?

Are you hiding something again?
Like your mobile?

let's not start that again.

I tampered with it
because you check it.

If you weren't so jealous...

Christine, the sword always falls
on he who is scared.

What's that proverb?

It's just for a night, the Greek,

because the good news is

Flat Cap's sister
is lending me her flat tomorrow.

Mrs Marquez, if I may give you
some technical advice...

On the fairway,
I'd have used a five iron.

I'm just saying...

With golf,
everyone has their own style.

Mrs Bouchard, have you seen
my flat in Benidorm?

38 m2!

Click, click!

You'll see the balcony
overlooking the sea.

Hello! How's the concierges'
tournament going?

And your appointments?

- Great, they went great.
- You always says that

But you've no job.

Mum, don't worry.
I've got an idea for my future.

It's running through my mind,
galloping even.

Don't disturb me,
I need to think.

You do look worried.

Is it that Cordier again?
Come on, kids,

give your tired dad a kiss,

do your teeth if there's any water
and jump into bed.

Did you win anything?

You win some...

Why don't you go for broke?

I don't mean like Freddy, but...

I'm giving up betting.

- But...
- No.

I'll go even further, Claire.

From now on...
Do you hear, Claire?

I forbid you to mention horses.

- Suspicious?
- Yes, he was weird.

9,000 euros,
and he sulks!

He's conning me again.

They're all conmen.

The other day,
I found his mobile phone.

Listen to his technique...

Girls' names ending in A
had an O instead.

Maria is Mario,
Patricia, Patricio,

Monica, Monico.

- How was your night?
- Oh, another magician!

I screw you then vanish!

I've had it with guys, Christine.


this is your new colleague.




In life, when you have
a fondness for chips, cards,

and horses,
the real problem

is finding the cash.

It requires diplomacy and tact.

How's my dear Jean-Bruno?

- Got some good news?
- What?

Have you finished the music
I asked for months ago?

You're in a bad mood.

Not at all!
I'm in a great mood.

The venue is full.
There's a private party.

- A cheesy crowd.
- The Miss France committee?

A couple of arseholes
who won 10 million at the races.

Talking of money...

I wanted to ask
if there's any way I could have...

An advance?
You've already had 6,000.

This is different though.
I'm getting my royalties soon...

You're so tiring!
I won't give you another penny.

Listen to me,

finish the music
or I replace you.

If you need a sucker,
go look in there.

Good evening.
It's great to be here.

Theirs is a wonderful story!

Alban and Mireille.
She didn't want a horse.

She said,
"I don't believe in fairy tales."

And yet here they are.

Mireille and Alban

are proud to celebrate
with you all

Cyrus III!
Look at him racing

to the finish line at Ascot.

Thanks for being here!
Have a wonderful evening.

Champagne for all
you good women and men!

Where are you going?

Big Paul is back.

If you ask me, he isn't just here
for Sonneville's estate.

Didn't he fix a Grand Prix?

One of many.
He always gets away with it.

Never any proof.
His return doesn't bode well.

I hate racegoers.

I'm not saying
we owners don't need them

but they're so common.

Dirty even.
Studies have proved it.

Are you an owner?

Yes. Like my father
and grandfather before me...

I can still see Daddy
on the stud farm steps

and Mummy twirling in her dress
and shouting, "Tallyho!"

- What rubbish!
- Precisely.

My regards, madam.

How nice!

It must be tricky managing
Sonneville's estate.

Not at all!
They only have winners.

One of their horses
is always an investment.

Like a Château Latour.

Even a 1987

is still a Château Latour.

I have a few cases left.

No thanks, Paul.
You'll never change!

- No!
- Well, enjoy the party.

And if ever you're in Dubai...

- I go all the time.
- Good to see you.


Nice bit of stuff.

Any good deals?

I've made rather a lot recently.

This is your lucky day...

- Freddy.
- Freddy, sorry.

- We met at the track...
- With Flat Cap.

- Yes, of course!
- At Enghien.

You're right to make the move.
Gamblers always lose.

Look at all these owners,
blazers, silk shirts...

They're calm, content...

But not one bets.

How much is a Sonneville horse?

You know...

- Still Freddy.
- Yes, Freddy...

Don't look at what a horse costs
but what it makes for you.

Let me tell you something,
my dear Freddy.

I might have something for you.

Look at this horse,
at its winner's face.

This horse can read and write.
It has a great pedigree.

German mother,

English father.
And its only defect

is its excessive speed!

You can have it
for the price I paid for it.

How much?


We're 4 mates.
A horse has 4 legs.

If we each buy one,

that's 15,000 divided by 4:
3,750 euro each.

I'll have the right foreleg.

Hang on, Fifi, just a second.

But a horse... A horse...

No, not a horse,
a Sonneville horse.

And a Sonneville is an investment.

Explain, Fortuné.

We each bet about
100 euros a week.

That's 5,200 euros a year.

We've probably each won 2,000 euros,

which means we've lost 3,200 euros.

In the past 10 years, gents,
we've each lost... 32,000 euros.

Have you got that?
We could have bought 2 horses!

Watch out!

I told everyone to leave you be.

I could see it was important.
Your GGTs any better?

- They're lower.
- Here's your mail.

I know this isn't a good time

but you've got a big slate.
Remember us.

in front of everyone!

OK, then,

what do I say to Mr Paul?
I've got till 11 a.m. tomorrow.

- Count me in.
- There, he dares!

I've been thinking about it.

The Greek?

I don't know.
If everyone's up for it, I am.


No. I don't think we should.

We shouldn't do it.

How brave!

It isn't the first time
you've let us down.

What's our horse called?

We were off! The race for money
got underway at once.

Come on, ladies and gents!

5 euros for merguez
and you get 5!

2 euros for sausages
but you only get 2!

- Merguez, please.
- You got it!

Time flew by.
We ran all over the place.

Why are you here?

I was in the area.
I wanted to see how you were.

- She's very pretty.
- Thanks.

You've finished early, huh?
How's your mum?

How much do you want?

I'll pay you back.

I'm on to something big.

- I'll give you 47 euros.
- For all that?

You must be kidding!
They're Pink Floyd LPs.

There. 7, 543 euros.

We're way short.

It's only enough for 2 legs.
What now?

We take the 7,000 euros
and double our money.

We bet on Minus III
in the Grand Prix.

Minus III is 2.5 to 1.
2.5 times 7...?

We buy Torpedo.

I'm in.
I've got a good feeling.

- I've dreamt about it!
- Easy now.

He wins every time.

He's ridden by Bazire.
There's no risk.

And if I'm saying that, gents,
it's because I was told.

Gents, it's a dead cert.

No risk!

No risk, huh?
Thanks for the dead cert!

I always said
we shouldn't do it!

I love Freddy
but we shouldn't follow him.

He'd even bet
on 2 cockroaches!

And the solar panels
will provide heating.

I see!

What a great idea!

Come on, boys, don't slack!

How am I going to explain
the missing 3 grand?

I'm a shit. A real shit.

- A fucking shit!
- I could sell my Fuego.

No way!
You love your Fuego.

Hi, losers!

You're late!
What's that hat?

An owner's hat.

Owner of what?

A horse owner.

I used Mum's studio in Benidorm
as a guarantee.

You're my associates.

4 equal parts
to be paid back quickly.

Your mum's got balls.

She doesn't know.

Pompon, Joli Cœur, Abricot,
keep going!

That's it.

Don't pull the pony's ears!

How would you like it?

Natacha, sit up straight.
You're not riding a bike.

The door.

Why are we at a pony club?

Is this a joke?
Where'd you find it?

On the net.

What? It was the cheapest, lads.
Don't you start!


- Hello, gentlemen.
- Hello.

Manolo Delgado.

Can I see the horse?

Is there a problem?


Banette, my daughter.

"We're all up for Banette."

No. I said that...

because there's a dairy dessert
called Danette.

There's vanilla,
chocolate, caramel.

I just changed the consonant.

If you don't find it funny,
I'll shut up.

No one appears to be laughing.

What are you doing?

A fundoscopy.
If the veins are shiny,

it means they've hardened,
and that's a problem.

Got any more questions?

Where'd you get it?

From Sonneville.
It was arranged by Mr Paul.

Never heard of him.

What does she race on?
A galloper, I imagine.

That's right, a galloper...

Do you want her?


Mr Delgado?

Are you taking her or not?

Two more laps, Banette.
Then do a last lap walking

and bandage her legs.

Blue and yellow.
Not bad colours, huh?

We can't.
They're Rothschild's colours.

- Freddy?
- It's funny she took it badly.

It isn't mean,
"We're all up for Banette".

It might not be funny
but it isn't mean.


Only we're trying to pick
our stable's colours.

Red and yellow,
like Montrouge FC.

Maybe that's why
we're having pastis tomato!

Have a good day, gents.

So yellow and red...

As for our accounts,
they're just red.

It's going to cost a bomb.

As well as the 3,750 euros
we each owe Fifi,

there's the horsebox,
the stables, oats, alfalfa,

horseshoes, medication

and insurance.

"Pellets for racehorses: 200 euros."
We should've got a budgie.

"Cavalassur... Insurance."
380 euros?

We have to race her asap.
Ideally, this weekend.

- It depends on Delgado.
- If he'll talk to us.

The guy's like Bernardo.
Only Zorro can understand him.

But we need a return
on our investment.

We're losing money
by the minute!

Did you call him
about the schedule?


- Great!
- What?

He hung up on me.


How's everything going?

Mr Delgado, I have a question.
What about the jockey?

We've got one: my daughter.

Yes, but it's a sport that...

French junior
jumping champion.

It's a good idea.

A very good idea.

It is a good idea.

When do we race?

When she's ready.

What do you mean?

If she races tomorrow,
I'll destroy her.

This mare has suffered.

She needs time.
The poor thing wasn't loved.

Oh, right, well...

That's the way it is!

We have to work
on her trapezius muscles.

I attach great importance to them.

Trapezius muscles?

This filly is far from young.
She's even old

to race.

So we were had.

We bought a sawhorse
with a lolling tongue.

Mind your language!

Horses sense everything.

Huh, beauty?

I think...

she's got something.

Right, OK, she's got something.

Mr Delgado,
we can't wait any longer

because the clock's ticking.
So we need dates,

a schedule, a framework,
professional managment.

I'll explain my method.

It's the Delgado method.

One, you're going to stop
breaking my balls.

Two, you're going to stop
breaking my balls!

That's good, really good.
I love it!

Hey pal, come here.

- Your tickets for Lady Gaga.
- Thanks, Mr Paul.

Alexis, what about our deal?

I'm thinking, weighing up
the pros and cons.

Think about it the right way.

Know any other jobs

where you can make as much
in the time it takes to boil an egg?

I'm thinking.

So, Dubiton,
still in the gambling squad?


Lovely shirt.

Nice cotton jersey.

Enhances your complexion.

I always go for quality.
It lasts longer.

- That's the advantage of it.
- Yes.

It wouldn't suit me.
Excuse me.

We'll make him a shirt.

A striped one.

The machine was in motion.
Bandaging, exercising at dawn...

Torpedo trained,
we champed at the bit.

The golden life of
racehorse owners was ours,

but we all had our problems
to deal with too.

It's insane.

I went to the betting cafe today
and they lost the ticket!

Was it in the open air?

- What?
- Forget it.

Will get our money one day?

I won't give them the choice.
They'll soon know who Nikos is.

I love Torpedo:
her slender legs,

her tongue, her rear...

Know what, honey?
I was thinking...

If I win a bit of cash,
I'll open my own surgery.

Then you can leave this block.

I can see it reminds you of work.

Huh, darling?


Hey, kids,

sorry to bother you
but the internet is down,

which means no TV,

no Equidia racing channel
and no betting.

To forget my financial problems,
I focused on work.

Is it still 8,000?


- Can I buy it on credit?
- Yes.

In 40 monthly payments?

No. No. No.

Every chord, every note
pushed me towards Rambouillet.

I had to talk to Banette.

Hello, Banette.

Any idea when
she'll be able to race?

I used to ride too, you know.

I got my Gallop 2 diploma.

It's good, you don't talk much.

To say what?
Around me, everyone talks

and they never stop.
It's a real pain.

I see it every day.

Whereas you, well,

you're here day after day

alone with a horse,
with this wonderful closeness

with the horse species,
man's best conquest of all.

It should be a lesson in silence

and humility, right?

No one beats you for silence.

You've reached new heights!

May I ask you a question?

Why are you called Banette?

Because it was the name
of my first horse.

Horses seem important
to the Delgados.

A month later...

That's it, Banette.

Feel the ebb and flow...

- This farce began a month ago!
- 32 days ago, to be precise.

It's time we had a word.

Or sparks are going to fly. Boom!

Bernardo had better calm down.
He only has a pony club!

We pounce on him when he's done.
The picnic's over!

Ebb and flow. Excellent!

What's he doing?


From what I've understood,
he's working on her forelegs

to improve her racing skills.

Apart from skiing and therapy,
she's done the lot!

Don't be so sure.
She's having a dental check-up.

The horse has eaten
too many sweets!

Are you serious?

He's taking the mickey.

She's looking good.

She looks ready!

We were just saying,
she seem ready!

There he is.

Look, the dream team!

It's great to see someone
who's so passionate.

What are you doing?

The trapezius muscles.

- Still?
- Sure.

They must be perfect by now.

As we say in Spain,

if you don't work your horse,
it won't work for you.


Mr Delgado,
we really like your method

and we've seen
some wonderful places, but...

don't forget that in "racehorse",
there's the word "race".

So when is our horse racing?


5, Torpedo.
50 and 50 each-way.

You'll lower the odds.

- Good luck, gentlemen.
- Thanks.

Only 5 minutes left
to enter the tombola.

The winner will receive
their weight in apples.

Torpedo, we're here!


Go, Banette.

this is the best day of my life.

I think I'm going to cry.

The horses are ready for
the 31st Vallée d'Auge Prize.

And they're off!

No. 10, Princesse de Booz,

is in the lead.
Torpedo is bringing up the rear

behind No. 7,

ridden by Franck Couegout.

Get a move on!

Don't fret,
she's just biding her time.

At the back of the pack,

Torpedo, No. 5.
- Bloody hell!

As the pack reaches...

I can't even see her
in my binoculars.

Torpedo is in the rear.

- Come on, close the gap!
- Come on!

Move it!

Go after him!

We can already say
Torpedo has lost the race.

There we go. What now?

It's all over for Balto.

I'm off for a drink.
Tell me when she finishes.

And the winner is No. 8,
Sarah des Champs,

2nd is No. 3, Rym du Désert,
and No. 5, Torpedo,

is very far behind,
I'd even say too far behind.

We're last.

Something isn't right
with this horse.

It's a mystery.

I still believe she's a champ.

She's old though.

Can we have a word?

Lads, what's that get-up?

The get-up of owners
who wanted to win.

She didn't lose: she didn't race.

Let's just cut the crap, OK?

Stop beating about the bush.

Just tell us the truth.

- It's a question of manners.
- That'd be good!

I'll tell you the truth.

I saw some great things today.

Some very great things.

"I saw some great things."

He's as bad as Domenech.

We should've bought a footballer:
2 legs and fewer qualms.

The problem is the gimp.

He knew she was a sloth.

But he carried on fleecing us.

Maybe you haven't heard,

but he wants to change cars

and renovate his house!

We landed right in it!

He saw us suckers coming.

Sure, I'll cough up!

The Delgados took us for a ride.

No, not all the Delgados.

I didn't mean Banette.

Right, what do we do now?

We change trainers.

He's the cheapest there is!

No! We stop everything.

We're out of pocket.

What about Torpedo?
Tell me!

I've mortgaged my mum's flat.

We're all doing our bit.
My Fuego's pulling the trailer.

And it belonged
to Herbert Léonard too!

Shall we wait till the next race?

Or we'll have to consider
the unthinkable.


A mate of mine is a butcher.

The horses are in the starting gates.

Go, Tamara!

Go for it, kid!

- Can you see her?
- She's nowhere.

I think she's ready
for the knacker's yard.

Come on.

Come on, beauty.

Let's take a walk.

Shame you don't smoke.

I could've given you
your last cigarette.

I don't want you
to go to the abattoir.

We need to talk.

We haven't spent all this time
together for nothing.


Go unwind.
Off you go, beauty.

You've always worked hard,

Why can't you express yourself?

Where did I go wrong?

I haven't always run a pony club.

I used to be a jump jockey.
I had a horse

whose name was Arbalète.

We talked about everything.

You look so much like her.

She was the love of my life.

She didn't jump, she flew.

Then one Sunday,
at Auteuil racecourse...

at the last fence,

over the stream,
Arbalète took off

then nosedived into the water.

We took a tumble.

She died.

She lost her life

and I lost my leg.

Right. I'll leave you
outside tonight.

Sweet dreams.

I'll come see you in the morning.

I believe in her, I believe in her,

I believe in her.

I sent the abattoir truck away
because I believe in her.

And above all, gents,
because I'm sure now:

she's a show jumper.

The lady is a jumper!

What can we say to that?

In any case, I'm staying here.
I won't even film.

Same here.

I'm not budging.

If it's to see her go
the wrong way...

The Montigny race,
I deleted it from my phone.

Good luck, as we say!

Who says?

Hey, she can speak!

The horse jumps, she speaks.
Now that's progress!

Don't worry, Dad.
I'll fight with you.

I have to go.

I'll hand the mike to José Gomez.

My racegoer friends,
hello and welcome

to Ouistreham racecourse
for the Grand Prix.

The 9 horses will do two laps
and jump 10 fences.

The favourite is Sercati

at 2 to 1.

The outsider is Torpedo from
the bizarrely-named Balto stable,

at 100 to 1.

The horses are ready.

And they're off!

As usual,
Sercati has taken the lead

followed by Ibis du Mont.

All's well at the 1st fence.
At the back,

with yellow and red silks
and a red helmet, is Torpedo,

who is bringing up the rear.

"Torpedo is bringing up the rear."

Oh no! Number 9 has fallen.

So Long Baby fell.
His jockey is back on his feet.

At the start of the final lap,

Torpedo is catching up.
She's in 5th position.

Torpedo is closing in.
Still in the lead is Sercati.

But Torpedo is gaining ground.

She's ridden by Banette Delgado,

daughter of the talented
Manolo Delgado...

It's stuck!

Bloody hell!

Let me do it.

Help me.

Get a move on!
We're missing the finish.

Torpedo has surprised us all!

Shit, shit, shit!

Out the way!

Sercati is closing in on Torpedo.

Torpedo, Sercati?
Sercati, Torpedo?

Torpedo comes out of

the last bend ahead of the pack
and makes for the last fence.

She jumps it
and races to the finish.

Victory for Torpedo!

A wonderful winning filly
from the Balto stable,

who must be jumping
for joy right now!

I'm a jerk.

I placed a small bet on Torpedo.

You jerk!

Me too.

You're all jerks.
Me too.

Same here.

From then on,
Torpedo won race after race

at racetrack after racetrack.

Her name became bigger
in the specialist papers.

Our relationship with Delgado
became almost normal.

We even found out his nickname.

The Octopus?

When he whipped,
he had 8 arms.

We had bet on the right horse.

The fairy tale had begun.
Torpedo loved us

and we loved her too.

What's wrong?

Another magician?

I've had it.

He was the worst yet.
He vanished before sex!

Get the tissues from my bag.

Ah, right...

We're gonna have fun, Nikos!

Where are you going?

To the Riviera, to see a pal.
See you tomorrow.


As for me,

with things being so rosy,
I had decided to grab,

the bull by the horns
and declare my love to Banette.

You should stop that.

How old are you?

Come on, it's funny!

I had to crank things up a notch.

I wanted to say
you're a pretty girl.

And I'm a boy.

Have I told you what I do?

No. What do you do?

I make music.

I compose music
for a Paris cabaret hall.

It's music about Paris,
shows for tourists,

coach parties, old folk.

I'm a composer.

I don't talk much,
but I love it when you...

when you're here.

It was a romantic moment.
It could have lasted forever.

Breaking the spell of this silence
whose duration was sublime,

she asked me a question
that seemed harmless at the time.

Would you do me a favour?

What the hell did you do?

I told her I was Gallop 2.

She asked me to replace her
on a pony ride through the woods.

It got off to a good start

then the pony at the front bolted.

Clair de Lune and Abricot

followed him.
I went over Pompom's head.

It took 2 hours to catch them.

We even found one

in the shopping centre carpark.

You've never ridden.
Why lie to her?

To have something in common!
I seize up when I see her.

And you're seized up now!

It's such a shame because
she was starting to talk to me.

OK, so it wasn't great tirades but...

it was nice.

- It's all over with her now.
- Hang on.

It's all over!

Maybe not.

I love talking to you.
Your analysis is so acute...

How's Christine?

She's in the Seychelles.
She acting weird.

You shouldn't worry.
I see you both every day

and I can tell you
your wife loves you.

You're very lucky to have her.

How would you patch
things up with Banette?

- With where you're at now?
- Yes.

I'd say to her,
"I'd love to give you one."

That's remarkable.



I can tell you all that
thanks to our golden filly,

we're definitely in the black!

I'm sure you'll understand
that this 1st cheque

is to pay back the loan

of our good pal Fifi!

Thanks, Fifi!

Come here, Fifi.

Hey, lads, what about me?

Isn't it fabulous?

A horse bought on a website too!

Here, for your mum and you.

Thanks, Dad. You're cool.

Isn't it fabulous?



- Ratatouille, can I have a word?
- The name's Maurice.

I've always dreamt
of owning a bistro.

So if you want a partner,
here I am!

I've loads of ideas about food
running through my mind.

We'll talk later.

I love you, Ratatouille!

I love you.

They're showing off!

Ratatouille this,
Ratatouille that!

That Gamma GT wants
to be my partner!

I owed you some money.
I'm off with my son.

The Lolitadrops are playing
at the Bataclan.

See? I've had it with you.

When I mentioned buying a leg,
Madam got cold feet.

"We can't do it!

"We can't do it!"

I'm out of here!

I'll say you are!
What you don't know is,

some guys are interested
in buying this place.

They're going to call Marcenac.

If he sells up,
we'll be totally penniless.

And you'll never get your star!

Say it isn't so, Monique.

Enough of Maurice and Monique!

Borrowed names

to seem integrated!

We disintegrate
and use our real names.

Your name's Mourad

and my mother gave me
a pretty name: Zahia!

Got that? Capito?


Zahia and Mourad!

Here's to Mourad.

And Zahia.

All right, punters?

What a party!

- Isn't Freddy here?
- He just left.

So you're the other 3?

Freddy has told me
a lot about you.

It took me ages to find you.
Too many Baltos in Paris.

See, I put you on to a winner?
"Thank you, Mr Paul."

- That's me.
- Ah, it's you?

Mr Paul!

I need a word.
Is there somewhere more private?

Close the door, you.

You have to think big, lads.

Your stable must thrive.
You need several horses.

Do you follow me?

He's right. At Roland-Garros,
they have several rackets.

I see you understand quickly.

I've come all this way
to tell you about a great deal.

You can have
a piece of the pie.

There's a man's heart in here!

Here's 100 000 euros.

It's just an advance,
if you accept my offer.

Hold back Torpedo in the Grand Prix
at Auteuil for 300 000 euros.

No way!
I'm not buying it.

No! Me neither.

That's illegal, that is.

Who says we're racing her?

You've gone up a level.

I even know you're racing
at Cagnes-sur-Mer.

Didn't Delgado tell you?

Delgado will never agree.

Don't tell the Octopus,
just his daughter!

I hear one of you is
on very good terms with her.

The answer's no.
We want no part of it.

Very well.
But think about it, lads.

Do you know any other jobs
where you can make as much

in the time it takes to boil an egg?

Grand Prix de la Côte d'Azur
1 day to go


We're gonna win
at Cagnes-sur-Mer!


Sponge Bob is back.

No one is gonna stop me
drinking tonight.

For the staff.

Orphan, 5 and corner bet.

Give me some cash.
I'm in there with the brunette.

Don't spend it all once.

Mr Paul's envelope
isn't a multinational!

Be discreet!

Freddy suspects something.

Gentlemen, place your bets.

We have to talk to him.

See how he's looking at us?
One of us has to.

We say we accepted the money.

It isn't complicated.

Good evening, miss.

Philippe Garcia,
racehorse owner.


Allow me to buy you
a glass of champagne,

dear Barbara.

What if I offered you
something better?

You see, Barbara,
I'm really happy.

When I'm happy,
you mustn't worry

but I want to cry.

Mr Beretta, what a party!

Thank you for treating us...
just like kings!

It isn't every day I get to invite
such important racehorse owners,

and lovely ones too.

I'm so touched by your welcome.

What a success!
Which sector are you in?


You're Francine?

Don't hang up.

Oh, Mr Courbis!
I bow to you.

Yes, Cordier?

Did I wake you up?

No, it's Fortuné de Saint-Hilaire.

Go to work!
COGEX is waiting, mate.

Ah! I wanted to say...

I'm not coming in today
or tomorrow either.

And maybe I'll never
come into work again.

Cordier, do you hear?

You can shove COGEX
up your arse!

Guys, hey!
This is a mess.

What did I say?
The Balto boys have priority!

You OK, mate?

You're drinking hard tonight.

The little boys' room?

That way, sir.

I've something to tell you.

I'll feel better afterwards.

We've got a problem!
Barbara pees standing up.

She can do what she likes.

What I mean is...
Barbara is a bloke!

Now that is a problem.

- Fifi!
- Can we have a word?

Hey, guys,

Barbara has said

she's into meeting my mum.

Actually, Fifi, don't you think
you're moving a bit fast?


What's the problem, guys?

I'm too ugly to get nice girls?

- Is that it?
- No, no!

There may be
more important problems.

Honesty, for instance.


we took Mr Paul's money.

It's bad, really bad.

It's dirty.

I was going to tell you.

To hold back Torpedo

in the Grand Prix in Paris.
That's the truth.

It's... dirty, dirty!

It's dirty!

OK, that's enough.

What was your plan?

That I ask Banette
to hold back Torpedo?

That's not very nice, guys.

But you're lousy liars.

Monique saw the money.
I've known since the start.

We'll go see

Mr Paul and return
his bloody money!

All right?

No way.
We're giving nothing back.

We're seeing this through.

We'll see if Fortuné
doesn't take risks,

if he plays it too softly.

You don't know me, guys.
I'm a madman, a nutter!

And isn't your Banette...

Feel better?

Oh fuck!

The Greek!

The money's gone.

Who knocked?

And Fifi, where is he?

He can't have taken the cash!

He's capable of anything,
with his Gamma GTs!

Sir, have you seen a man
with a red face?

Ah, Dirty?

He kept saying that.

An ambulance came for him earlier.
He was in a bad way.

A really bad way.

I'll wait here.
Hospitals aren't my thing.

Our friend...

Dirty? Room 4.

- Alcoholic coma.
- Thank you.

Fifi, what happened?

Oh God, last night!

What did you do?
You were with Barbara.

Oh, Barbara...

Barbara de Galardon.

She has a particle too.

A particle, yes...

What did you do after?

We drank with
some folks from Nice.

Loads of them.

God, they drink a lot!

The money's gone!

What I remember is,
I went back

to take some discreetly

and then...


Oh fuck!


Let's go! We've got a race
at Cagnes with Torpedo.


- Come on.
- Huh?

Put your clothes on.

I don't have any.

Torpedo is in the lead
and dominating the race.

The others are in trouble.

The horses have rounded the bend

and are on the home straight
of this tough race.

Torpedo is racing to victory!

Amazing Torpedo, winner
of the Grand Prix de la Côte d'Azur.

A huge victory for Torpedo!

You can applaud Torpedo,
ridden by Banette Delgado,

daughter of Manolo Delgado.

Torpedo will definitely compete

against the best in
the Grand Prix de France at Auteuil,

and might even win again.


She flew today!

Give her a tranquilizer.

She's stressed.

Why are you here?

Well, we're just the owners.

- You were till 5 a.m.
- What?

You aren't anymore.

You no longer the owners.

Torpedo belongs to Mr Beretta,
who's over there.


Bye, Delgado! And thank you!

No longer the owners?
It has to be a joke!

I don't think so.
I'm not laughing.

One of you four lost the horse
playing poker last night.

A Mr Philippe Garcia.

I give Torpedo to Mr Beretta.

Ring any bells?

I'm really gutted
you played the horse.

Horses are love!

Now get out of my sight.

I don't want to talk to you.

What will we tell Mr Paul?

He's capable
of setting us in concrete.

I've had enough.


Hello? No one's answering.
These things never work!

why can't I reach you?

Call me or I'll inundate
your voicemail.

Hey, the Greek!

We're in deep shit
because of your bloody car.

Huh? All this is my fault?

- Yes.
- Is that so?

Are you sure, bastard?

- The Greek girl's in a tizzy!
- What?

Come on!

Come on, Nana Mouskouri!

You're gonna get your moussaka.

Don't fight!

Stay out of this.

I've been wanting
to beat him up for ages.

15 years ago, 1st round,
5th penalty, ring any bells?

- What do you mean?
- You know!

It was my turn to shoot!

But you wanted to show off.

You kicked and we lost!


You stupid bastards!

Stupid, stupid bastards!

Let me at him!


It was on this stretch of motorway

that Montrouge FC's
magic square imploded.

No one survived
the Monaco crash.

We'd lost everything.

Come on, 40-0!
Your serve, Mrs Marquez.

I'm in top form today!

Break, Mrs Marquez.

Fifi, what's wrong?

I've lost my job.

I owned a racehorse
and I lost it in Monaco,

at Mr Beretta's,

the Francine flour boss.

All right, all right.

Prince Albert sells sweets, huh?

- Easy with the lock!
- Baby?

Why are my suitcases
and Mythos out here?

You're leaving home, mate!

Your pal too. Stop terrorizing
the betting body.

Unlucky, huh?

You gave it to a girlfriend!

You see, Nikos, the sword

always falls on
he who fools around.

Christine, I didn't...

You're not homeless.
I know someone who's gonna be happy.


Torpedo is the name of a mare!

She's a horse
I bought with my mates.

I didn't tell you
because it was a surprise.

- A horse?
- Yes.

Where can I see this horse?



11 years... Ah right, I see.
I'm calling too late?

OK... Well, thank you.

Hi, Ratatouille.
A dry white wine.

Fifi, for our partnership,
I've got an idea.

Because Ratatouille has ideas
running through his mind too,

galloping even.

How about we buy a greyhound?

A greyhound!


Get in the car.

Get in the car, scumbag!

You think it's normal

I have to run after you?

Well, no.

No. I was worried.

No news.

My best friends
wouldn't be trying

to fool me, would they?
The Balto gang...

I do wonder sometimes.

You're more like the Muppet Gang!

We were going to get in touch.
Where are we going?

For a little ride.

I hope we all still agree.

you give my cash back.

We agree, 100% even.

100%, you sure?

You look like someone
who'd fuck up a deal.

Huh, you little bitch?

Mr Paul, don't get mad.

We've sorted things.

Delgado is under control,
so's the jockey.

Excellent! Remember the deal is
no Torpedo at the finish line.

I'll contact you
about to go about it, OK?

I hope everything goes smoothly
because, behind me,

there are lots of people

and they are not easy customers
by any means.


We've got a real problem.

She doesn't want to run,
jump or eat.

You don't know why but I do.

For a horse to win,
the links have to work together.

From the stable lad to the owner.

You have to call them.
She misses them.


- Yo, Momo!
- Come here.

This is it.

Marcenac was perfectly clear.

Either we buy or we leave.

Got the cash? I don't.

Excuse me.

Do you know where Mr Freddy is?

When I was 20

20 years in a life

Lasts a very long time

I had friends

All around me

I discovered the night

Paris in those days

Fantastic was the night

Life when I was 20

I used to say,
"My life starts now"

I didn't make a fortune
I stayed in my corner

Aren't you going to get up?

Yes, sorry.

- Nice flat!
- Yes.

I'm pleased.
We did a good job.

There's a great
beer crate atmosphere.

And I've added

a few mustard jars.
They enhance the walls. Then...

I'm here about Torpedo.

Racing and Betting Board


- You wanted to see us?
- Yes.

I've got some good news, gents.

Torpedo is racing in
the Grand Prix de France at Auteuil.

That's interesting,
but she isn't ours anymore.

She is. You still own her.

Hang on, I'm having trouble
following you.

What's up?

A new development.
Our horse is ours.

I arranged everything in Monaco.

Beretta is an acquaintance.

Why did you do it?

Flat Cap told me Mr Paul

wanted you to change trainers
to control everything.

He was going
to discuss it with you.

Oh my God!

I haven't always worked with ponies.

20 years ago,

I rode Arbalète,
with whom I won everything.

Before the Grand Prix de France,
I was approached

to hold her back.

I refused so, behind my back,
they drugged Arbalète.

With a dart gun.

The culprit was Mr Paul.

Paul Pelissier.
And I want his hide.

Oh fuck!

I don't get it.
Is the horse theirs or not?

So that's why I want

Torpedo to win the Grand Prix:
to take my revenge on him.

It won't be easy.

I found out this morning

Monark would be racing too.

So can I count you in?

No, no, no!
I don't give a toss anymore!

Forget me!

I had a simple life at COGEX.
Things were good!

I don't have anything now.

All I know is,
we shouldn't have done it!

Fortuné, stop it. Let us in.

We're four, Fortuné.

If we want her to win,
the four legs advance together.

No! Terrible things were said.

Words I cannot forgive you for!

It's too easy, lads!

Fortuné, I apologise
for everything I said to you.

I'm sorry if I behaved badly.

We've been pals for 30 years!
You're my brother.

For fuck's sake, don't throw it
all away over a penalty!

Fortuné, we love you.

This is getting ridiculous!
Just open the door, or...

You know, Fortuné,

I could've missed the penalty too.

Can you say that again?

Come in.

- Where are you at?
- Everything's OK.

The jockey will fall as planned.

The 300K will be waiting for you

the next day at my hotel.

Let me do the talking.
There's been a change.

When we made the deal

Torpedo wasn't favourite.
So now it's 500 000.


I want the cash at the end.
Stash it in your car.

As soon as the race starts,
you text me its location.

Code name:
"The sixpence is in the Xmas pud."


"The sixpence is in the Xmas pud."

Make an effort.

She doesn't seem ready
to race on Sunday.

What worries me is,
she's a mare.

When a mare refuses,
you can't do a thing.

I reckon you need
to apologize profusely.

Torpedo, we behaved like shits.

And we apologise humbly,

humbly, humbly.


I know you're very disappointed.

I drank too much in Monaco.

How can I explain?
It's like you eating too many oats.


She won't have any of it.

On the eve of the race,
the moon was full

and tensions high.

Why doesn't Christine
love me anymore?

You're a girl,
you should know.

Tell me, Torpedo,

do you think
some women come back?

Just call her
and introduce Torpedo.

She'll see it's a horse.

Freddy, I don't think
I'm credible anymore.

Why don't you write to her?

Letters are nice. They're...

Write one.
I'll take care of it personally.

Welcome to the Grand Prix
de France. In a few minutes,

the competitors will line up.

23 fences over 5,800 metres.

You will discover
the elite of the world's horses.

This is also an opportunity
for us to comment on

the latest indiscretions
with Pierre Ménès.


Torpedo, do you believe in her.

It's said she refuses to eat.

Refuses to eat...
I'm no expert, you know.

But I believe in Torpedo.

200 euros on Torpedo,
number 4,

my son's horse.

And I'm not done.

I'll bet on the first four too.

And you?

- A spot bet for me.
- A spot bet for this lady.

The Grand Prix horses
are in the parade ring.

In this Grand Prix de France,

No.1, Syrielle Black,

No. 2, Tierra Marquis,

No. 3, Varennes,

No. 4, Torpedo,
No. 5, Royal Santé,

No. 6, Monark...

We can't race.
She's too nervous.

I've already lost a leg and a horse,
I can't lose you too.

We're racing.

1 message

Car in carpark.
The sixpence is in the pud.

Ladies and gentlemen,
the Grand Prix is about to start.

This is the highlight
of the racing calendar.

The world's jump race elite
will race before you

in the brilliant sunshine
and on good turf.

The horses are on their way.

Come on!

The favourite is Torpedo,

ridden by Banette Delgado,

daughter of the great jockey
Manuel Delgado,

better known as the Octopus,

who wowed France's racecourses.

Her rival, Monark, is defending
the interests of Sonneville.

Grand Prix de France,
what a fabulous start!

Come on, Torpedo!

What's wrong?

Come on, kid!

Go, kid!

I don't understand.
Where are we?

Here. They'll go around
and finish here.

She's after Monark.

- Go, go!
- Go on!

At the last fence,
Monark is leading but...

Come on, Torpedo!
Go, go, go!

Her tongue made the difference!

Montrouge FC!

Were you looking for this?

See, Pelissier?

We ended up meeting again.

It's been a long time coming,
but you haven't changed.

It isn't very nice
what you made them do.

But you can't help it.

No, Delgado... Come on...

Give it to me.

We can come
to an arrangement.

You can have it.

It'll be a little nest egg

for when you're released.

No... Manolo!


Ah, Dubiton...


That was...

incredible, unbelievable!

It was wonderful.
The race...

made me feel so elated...

Paris, I Love You

If you want to see me,
look up. Your wife

A few months went by.

We'd hit the jackpot with Torpedo,
which made life easier.

Fifi bought a stake in the Balto,

Fortuné became
Delgado's accountant,

the Greek bought
his own practice

and I was living on love alone

as it had come knocking
on my door.

As for Torpedo,
who was too old to race,

she had earned
a quiet and peaceful retirement

in Rambouillet.

We pals from the Balto
visited her regularly.

It was a way of thanking Torpedo,

beautiful Torpedo...

We owed everything to her.

But we also came to see
her young son, Torpedo Junior.

The spitting image of his mum.

We wondered if he'd make
a good jumper, racer...

No. We just wanted him to be...

a happy horse.

To Frédéric Botton and Gramps...

Subtitles: Eclair Media