Tumbleweeds (1999) - full transcript

[ Man and woman yelling,
indistinct ]

[ Man ]
You're a married woman.
I know I'm goddamn married.

You can't act the same way
when you were single.
It's as simple as that.

I don't do that!
Oh, come on!
Bullshit!

You go shakin' yourself
around town like everyone
thinks you're available.

Makes me look like
a goddamn asshole!
No!

I'll tell you what makes you
look like a asshole. You make
you look like a asshole.

Don't give me
that bullshit line, woman!
Okay?

I was gone
for five seconds.
No, you were not!

I leave you for two minutes,
you're all over somebody.
How does that make me feel?

Why don't you just go out
and get drunk?
Don't give me that bull.



This has nothin' to do
with my liquor! It has
to do with your behavior.

You act like you're available,
like you can throw your tits
in his goddamn face!

Why don't you act like a husband
and do something about it?
Oh, yeah?

[ Yelling continues ]

[ Yelling ]

I will mess you up, woman!
You better goddamn run!

Huh? You wanna play
little games?

Come on! Oh, yeah,
where you gonna go now?
Huh? I got you now!

[ Wheezing ]

Where do you think
you're going?
I will kick your ass.

Come on, right here.
Big ol' bruise. Come on.
Oh, yeah? I will!

Come on,
so my lawyer can see it.
Come on!

[ Panting ]
Oh, yeah?
You wanna take my house apart?

Yeah, I do.
Come on.
Come on.
Give it your best shot.



Come on,
you fuckin' coward.
Huh, huh?

That's what I think about you.
Get away, you piece of crap.
Goddamn--

goddamn it all.

Pack your things.
We're leavin'.

Pack your things.

Goddamn friggin' TV.

You okay?

I'm fine.

You sure?
Honey, I'm fine.

I said I was fine an hour ago.
I'm fine. I'm just-- I just
have to think, that's all.

Good night, blinky.
Go to sleep.

[ Sighing ]

Any idea
where we're goin'?

Well, I was thinkin'
about Arizona.

What are we gonna do there?
Someone else you wanna marry?

I-I thought it might be good
for your asthma.

Mama, Arizona's nothin'
but a bunch of dust, okay?
I don't wanna go there.

Well, where would you
want to go?

I'm tired, mama.
I wanna go to sleep.

I'm sick of bein'
in this damn car.

Okay, baby.

** [ Humming ]

Rise and shine,
sweet little bird of mine.

It's not even mornin'.

Yes, it is.
It's 6:30 A.M.

** [ Humming ]
[ Screaming ]
Mom!

Come on, wake up, kid.
Let's hit the road.
We're goin' to Missouri.

** [ Humming continues ]
Missouri?

Oh, my gosh, honey,
look at that sunrise.
[ Gasps ]

Did you ever see
anything so pretty?

Come on, look at that.
It's so beautiful.
** [ Car radio: Country ]

You're in denial.

[ Sighing ]
Who's in "misery"?

Winston Jackson,
and it's Missouri.

Who's Winston Jackson?

Honey, he is only
the biggest car dealer in
the whole of Jefferson city,

and he had a crush on me
in high school
the whole four years.

Now he can finally have me.

When was the last time you saw
Mr. Big shot car dealer?

Ten-year reunion.

That was about
100 years ago.

Well, true love
never dies, sweetie.

Never.
Never, ever, ever.

No, no, we've been livin'
in West Virginia. Mm-hmm.

We left north Carolina
a while ago, yes, we did.

[ Man ]
Three r.C.S, a bag of peanuts.
[ Mother continues ]

And this.
One magazine.
All right.
Guess what.

We're passing through
Kentucky right now.

And we should be in Missouri
right about dinnertime.
How about that?

$3.13. Thank you.
Thanks.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Well, we'll just have to see
about that now, won't we?

[ Laughing, gasping ]
Winny, you ain't lost
your fire, have you?

Mm.

I wish you'd ask me
what he said already.

I know what he said.
What?

He said he loves ya dearly,
and he can't wait to see you.

He's been waitin'
his whole life for you.

Could you please drop
your dumb daughter off
in St. Louis on the way?

Well, actually,
he said he can't wait
to meet ya.

Told him all about your mice
and how you like animals
and stuff.

And he says--
listen to this--

he says he's got a nice
little dog that's just dyin'
for a new friend.

Ain't that fun?

Sweetheart,

I wish you'd try and look on
the bright side of things.

Honey, I'm doin' the best
I know how here.

I'm tryin', mama.

Baby, hold the wheel.
Hold the wheel.

Come on,
you're doin' fine.

Mama, please,
I don't know what I'm doin'.
Mm-hmm.

I got it, I got it.
Here you go.
Baby, hold that.

Throw it out the window.
Go on.

Throw it out the window.
But this is your favorite hat.

Why, I know, honey,
but we gotta get rid of the old
to bring in the new.

Now, just throw it out.
Go on.
Are you flippin' crazy?

Oh, yeah.
Throw it out the window!

Are you deaf?
You're makin' a... mistake!

[ Whooping ]
There you go,
there you go, honey.

Now find somethin' in here.
Look, is that my orange
sweater back there?

Mama!
Come on, throw it out.
Throw it out.

Gotta get into it.
Come on, I'm gonna
throw this one out.

Count of three.
Ya ready?
One, two, three.

Whoo!
Yee-ha!

[ Laughing ]
It's a new life, baby!
It's a new life.

If we don't throw things out,
we'll never have new things.
Come on.

Whoo-hoo!
Brand-new day,
brand-new day!

[ Continues, indistinct ]

[ Both whooping ]

[ Dog barking ]

[ Chicken clucking ]

Mama, it's so--
I know, I know.

Hey, hey, hey!

Oh, lord.
Oh, my god.

[ Chuckling ]
Well, look who's here.

Boy, if you ain't a sight
for sore eyes, buttercup.

It's been too long,
too long, darlin'.

Hey, hey, is that
little Ava in there?

Ava, hey!

Don't be shy, Ava, darling.
Come on, now. How you doin'?

- [ Chuckling nervously ]
H-hi!
- Hi!

Uh, we-we were
just passin' through.

We wanted to...
Say "hi."

Well, hi. Listen,
I got supper in there.
Come on in.

Bye!

Go ahead, mama.
Drive faster.

Bye.

[ Laughing ]

[ Giggling ]
Oh.

Colorado Springs--
I heard of that one.
What about that? Hmm?

No.
Why not?

Because it's
too cold there, mama.
It's like a snowman land.

[ Sighing ]

Santa fe? Santa fe.
Come on, we ain't never been
to new Mexico before.

It's the "land of enchantment."
We could use a little of that.
What do you think?

Huh?
How about California?

No!
Come on, mama!

No. No, we can't
go there, honey.
Why not?

It's gonna fall off
and sink. That's why.
No, it's not.

- Yes, it is.
- Sunny San Diego isn't gonna
fall off and sink, mama.

Yes, it is.
Yes, it is.
No, it's not.

Come on, mama.
We've never been
to the beach before.

What about your asthma?
Think!

I'm thinkin'...
That I can never have
an asthma attack here.

No, 'cause you'd get
covered in bird turd.

Ma! Come on.

Look, we could live
in starlight beach.

Oh, come on.
Can't you see it?

You and me-- move--
lyin' on the beach,

sippin' pina coladas,
ooh!
[ Giggling ]

And the waves crashin'
at our feet,
mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

And the sun shinin' down
on US.
Mm-hmm. I can't swim.

I'll teach ya.
Oh, that's reassurin'.

Come on, mama.
Look at this picture.

Couldn't you live
in it?

Hmm.

California, huh?
Uh-huh.

* and his hand
it fell behind her *

* as his arm
had reached around *

* oh, when she looked
at the window *

* and she watched
the shade go down *
now scream. Ready? Go!

[ Both screaming ]
* it was
a private conversation *

* no one heard her say *

* that man
she left behind her *

* was 2,000 miles away *

* and singin'
boy, pick up that fiddle *

* oh, and play
that steel guitar *

* oh, and find yourself
a lady *

* oh, and dance
right where you are *

* hey
hey, hey, hey *

[ screaming, laughing ]

* hey
hey, hey, hey *

* hey
hey, hey, hey **

we're outta water.

What'd you say, baby?
I can't hear ya!

I said, we're outta water!

Huh?

Oh, my gosh, look at this.

Ain't that pretty?

Ma, for the third time,
we're outta water.

We are?
Yes.

Well, shit,
I shoulda saved my piss.

Ma.

What are we gonna do now?

Pig!
Hey!

Come on, baby!

Oh, I love you.
Whoo!

Whoo!
Thank you so much.
Go, mama!

Whoo!

Hey!
How ya doin'?

You guys all right?

I think we overheated.
Our little honey doesn't
like the desert too much.

Oh, it's a hot one.
Yeah, it is.

May I?
Please.

Well, wanna look at this?
Yeah, thank you.

You got yourself
a broken hose.
Oh, shoot!

Uh, what can we do?
Can you fix it?

Yeah, I can trim it for you.
I'll stick it back on.

Thank you.
You're welcome.
I got my toolbox in the truck.

Well, thank you so much.
Thank you.
You're welcome.

I'll have you ladies
out of here in no time.

Hi.
Hi.

No, no, no,
don't even think about it.

What? I wasn't
thinkin' nothin'.

I just have somethin'
in my teeth, that's all.

Mama, you're thinkin' how
he looks like a Marlboro man.
No, I wasn't.

He's too fat and stupid-lookin'
to be the Marlboro man.

Oh, I don't know. I think
maybe you could mistake him
for a Marlboro man.

[ Sighing ]
You sure are a lifesaver.
I don't know how to thank you.

Well, you can start
by callin' me Jack.
Let's go, mama, I'm starvin'.

I have to go.

All right, well,
you make sure you get
yourself a new hose.

We don't need you guys
gettin' stranded
out here again.

We will.
[ Clucking ]

Jack.
Jack.
Hi, I'm Mary Jo.

Hey, Mary Jo.
I can't see your eyes
behind those glasses.

Now?
There we go.

[ Clucking continues ]
This is my daughter, Ava.

Ava, honey,
would you thank Jack
for helping US out please?

You sure are a lifesaver,
Jack. I just don't know
how to thank you.

I'm sorry about my daughter.
She didn't take
no medication today.

That's okay.
Let's go, so we can get
more medication.

Bye, Jack.
Thanks again.

Ding, ding, ding, ding,
ding, ding, ding, ding.
You're welcome, Mary Jo.

Bye.
You drive safe, now.

[ Continues dinging ]
I will.

[ Dinging stops ]
I could kill you.

Hot beef, comin' through.

[ Ava ] You couldn't keep
your eyes off him.
Oh, that's so not true.

It is so. You probably woulda
married him, if he wasn't
headin' in the other direction.

What's that
supposed to mean?

It means you wanna marry
every cute, sexy guy
that comes along.

Or at least shack up
with him.
I do not. They wanna marry me.

Anyway, I like bein' married.
Doesn't mean you have to say
"yes" every time.

I don't say yes every time.

I didn't say "yes"
to Richard, did I?

Mama, that was 'cause
he looked like an elf.
Oh, he did not.

He did too. He had to sit
on two phone books just so
he could drive his car.

[ Chuckling ]

Yeah, he was
a little short for me.

I didn't mind that, though.
I just could never marry anybody
whose nickname was "dick."

[ Giggling ]

You know what I think
about men, ma?
Mm-hmm, what?

I wanna tell you...
No, Ava.

Right... now.
[ Grunting ]
[ Flatulence]

Oh, good lord.
[ Sighing ]

Excuse me, miss,
could we take our check?
[ Flatulence ]

Oh, my god!
I swear I have a pig
for a daughter.

I don't know what
the big deal is. Wasn't
like it was a big one.

Oh, Ava, honey,
you practically blew
a hole in the seat.

Yeah, well, you farted.
Yeah, well, nobody heard mine.
Wasn't a stinker like yours.

Why do you think
the people next to US
left so fast?

They were done eatin'.
[ Giggles ]

[ Laughing ]

Thank god we don't live
in this town.

My--

no!
The f--

no, this is--
oh, goddamn it!

Shit!
[ Sighing ]

[ Sighing ]

Blinky was gonna have babies.
I know, honey.

I know.

We'll get you some more mice
when we get to California.

Huh?
I don't want more mice.

I want blinky and cherub
and firefly and--
I know.

I know.

Okay, I got ya, baby,
I got ya.
[ Breathing heavily ]

[ Inhaling ]

[ Sighing ]
There you go, baby.

[ Whispering ]
Maybe a nice family
stole 'em.

Maybe they're in
a nice new home.

[ Whispering ]
Or maybe they'd been
adopted into a circus,

and they've got
a nice big cage,
lots more friends,

a big ol' wheel
to play on.

I'm sure they're happy
wherever they are.

What do you say,
in the mornin',

we go out
and treat ourselves, hmm?

I think we deserve
a little happiness,
don't you?

Yeah.
Yeah?

Go shoppin',
buy ourselves
somethin' nice.

With what?
We don't have any money.
[ Sniffling ]

I got a few dollars left
in my purse.

We're gonna have to get
everything new anyway,
ain't we?

Mm-hmm, I'm sure
there must be a thrift store
or somethin' in town.

What's the first thing
you need?

A bathin' suit.
[ Chuckles ]

** [ Humming ]

Ow!

How you doin' back there?
Okay. When you gonna
put yours on?

Honey, I'm drivin'.
I can't drive and change
at the same time.

But you're gonna put it on,
right?

Honey, I have a lot
on my mind right now.

I have to find US
a place to live,
find me a job.

I gotta get you into
a new school. I don't have
time to go gallivanting.

Mm, fraidy cat.
Am not.

Are too.
Are too.
Am not.

Well, look at you.
Whoo, hoo, hoo.
Whoo, hoo.

How do I look?
Do I look like a movie star?
Of course you do, honey.

I didn't name you after
Ava gardner for nothin',
now, did I?

Do you think it fits?
Mm, no.
[ Chuckling ]

Does it look weird?
Oh, yeah.

Ma, you're a lot of help.
Look at these torpedoes.

[ Beeping ]
Mom!

Think they'll hold up
in the water?

I shouldn't think so.
We'll soon find out,
won't we?

Why don't you look at the map
and see how much further
we have to go?

California.
** [ Humming ]

[ Together ]
* the future's not ours to see *

* que sera, sera *

* then I grew up *
what is it?

Something' about
a sweetheart?
* I asked my sweetheart *

what--
* what lies ahead *
* what lies ahead *

* will there be rainbows
day after day *

* here's what
my sweetheart said *

* que sera, sera *

* whatever will be
will be *

* the future's not ours
to see *

* que sera, sera **

Ava. Honey.
[ Mumbling ]

We're here.

Mm. Geez.
I'll see you down there.

All right.

Mind your feet!

[ Laughing ]
Ava, honey,
don't go out too far...

And watch out
for jellyfish!

[ Whooping ]

[ Screaming ]

Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!
Mom!

Come on!
It's really fun!
Come on!

[ Screaming ]

Come on, mama!

[ Squeals ]

[ Ship's horn blowing ]

[ Sighing ]
I'm just warnin' ya. A few days
before my period, so beware.

Uh-oh, the tornado.

Yeah, well, one of these days,
auntie Rosie's gonna come
visit you too.

See what kind of mood
it puts you in.

Okay,
where are my car keys?
You seen my car keys?

They're on the floor,
next to the toilet bowl.

- Oh, thanks.
How's your cereal?
- Disgusting. It needs sugar.

Yeah, well,
we're in California now.
Gotta be healthy. Found 'em.

Come on, let's get going,
or we're gonna be late.

[ Exhaling ]
Do I look fat in this dress?

No.

Come on,
let's get you to school.

See if they can teach you
how to lie. Get out.
Ma! Ow!

Now, the accepted way
to settle a quarrel...

Or a dispute
or a feud...

Or if somebody "dissed" you...

Was to have a duel,

and every young man--
and every old man,
for that matter--

in those times was
very adept at dueling.

Yes?
I'm sorry to interrupt,
Mrs. Boman,

but we have a new student
joining US today.

This is Ava Walker.
Thank you very much,
Mr. Haliburton.

Ava, welcome, welcome.
Please, come in.

Class, we have a new thespian
joining US today.

This is Ava Walker.
Take a seat anywhere, dear.

So, as you can imagine,

if the ordinary citizenry
was expert at dueling,

think how wonderful
the actors were.

They were absolutely
in seventh heaven.
I like your dress. It's pretty.

Thanks.

You do realize
that in those times
women were the chattel.

[ Phone ringing ]
[ Woman chattering ]

You know what?
He never even looks
at that thing.

Social security, sign it,
you'll be fine.
Oh, thanks.

I'm Laurie.
I'm one of the slaves here.

Oh, well, hi, slave.
I'm Mary Jo,
future slave, hopefully.

Mary Jo?
Mm-hmm.

My boyfriend's name's Billy Jo.
He's from Tennessee.
You from the south?

Mm-hmm,
I'm from north Carolina,
but I lived in Tennessee.

So you know Sweetwater?
Yes, I do. I used to go
fishin' there.

Oh, my boyfriend
took me fishin' there.
Oh, really?

I love it there.
It's so beautiful.
Mm-hmm.

What are you doing here
in starlight beach?
Just tryin' to get a job.

Well, here he comes.
I'll keep my fingers crossed.

Thank you.
There he is.

Hi, you must be
Mary Jo Walker.
Hi, yes, I am. Hi.

[ Clears throat ]
That's a pretty firm handshake
you got there, miss Walker.

Yes, it is.
My daddy always said you could
tell a liar by a weak one.

That's a good motto.
Wanna step in my office?
We'll talk about this.

He's crazy.

Please, have a seat.
Well, thank you so much.

Thank you.

[ Exhales ]
So I had a chance to look
at your resume, miss Walker.

One of the more interesting ones
I've come across.

Well, thank you so much.

You don't seem to stay
in one place very long,
do you, miss Walker?

North Carolina, south Carolina,
Louisiana, West Virginia,

Tennessee.

Either you like to travel a lot,
or you're a wanted woman.

[ Laughing ]
[ Laughing ]

Oh, I'm sorry.
Would you mind?
Just one second.

I just can't help myself.
Look at this poor little thing.

Oh, it's just dyin' here,
and it's such a pretty pink too.

"Exsqueeze" me.
Yeah, go on.

Thank you. All it needs
is a little bit of love
and attention, that's all.

Thank you so much.

I think it's so important
to have plants in your office.

It brings you joy,
helps you breathe.

You were sayin'--

[ laughing ]
No way. Your mom
told you that?

Yeah, she tells me
everything.

[ Scoffs ]
My mom would never tell me
something like that.

Well, why not?
What'd she say
when you asked her?

She didn't say anything.
She told me to ask
the school nurse.

I'm home!
[ Squeals ]

Man, is it hot out there?
Whoo! Hi, baby.

Hi. Uh-oh.
Oops.

Well, come on.
Ain't you gonna ask me?
Did you get US a job?

Yes, I did. You are lookin'
at the new phone slave
at the guard tech alarm company.

Cool!
Hello.
Who's this?

This is Zoe.
She's my new best friend.
Wow. Hello, new best friend.

I've-- I've heard
so much about you.

I heard all about
your life and your trip
and your four marriages,

and I just have to say,
I think you are so great!

Well, thank you so much.
Where'd you pick this one up?

We're in
theater class together.
Zoe wants to be an actress.

- I am an actress.
- Oh, she is an actress.

Two peas in a pod.
What's this?

I thought we were
supposed to be eatin' healthy.

I thought you just meant
for breakfast.

It's a donut castle.
It's fabulous.
We did it ourselves.

Well, then, it's a shame
to waste it, isn't it?
Come on.

[ Whooping ]
[ Giggling ]

[ Phone ringing ]
Here you go.

I swear, we must go
through ten pots a day
in this office.

That's 'cause everyone here
is so bored, they need
somethin' to keep them awake,

so that they can look
like they're doing somethin'.

Mm-hmm.
I don't even drink it
anymore.

I'm puttin' it
up my butt now.

You're what?

Yeah, coffee enemas.

Let me tell you,
besides gettin'
a great buzz,

you get a nice
little cleansing.

Well, good lord.

Oh, come on, don't tell me
you've never tried one.
Not with coffee.

We do them when we
go out dancin'-- just like
a twirly top all night long.

Wait-wait a minute,
wait a minute.

You tell me you
shove somethin' up your butt,
and you let Billy Jo watch?

What? Are you crazy?
I'm gonna marry the man.
He doesn't need to see that.

No, he does not.
[ Laughing ]

What do you say?
You wanna try one? Go to
my house after work, do a pot.

Well,

you know, I think
it's important in life to try
every new experience.

Well, I think
that's a good philosophy.

What about Ava?
What's she doin'?

She's at a sleep over tonight,
so I'm as free as a bird.

And you know somethin'?
I need some fun.

[ Clears throat ]
Miss Walker.

I think we got a little
communication problem here.

I asked for sweet 'n low,
you brought me sugar.

I'm so sorry.
Would you like for me
to get you some?

Yeah, and bring it in my office
because I got something
I wanna talk to you about.

Okay.

[ Whispering ]
He's peekin' again.

So I go into his office,
he locks the door,
and he starts hittin' on me.

The next time he asks you
to stay late, give him a hand,
and tell him to use his own.

He's probably usin'
his own right now.
[ Both laughing ]

Can you see him at the office?
Todd, give US two more shots,
please.

He's probably sittin' there,
he's got the lights dimmed
down low, soft music playin',

and he's just chokin'
the chicken.

He's probably aimin' it right
at that pretty little plant.
Oh, my god.

Oh, I gotta save
that poor old thing.
Thank you.

Oh, my god.
Whoo!
Whoo!

* sweepin' pretty women
right up off of their feet *

* got the lovers thinkin'
that your heart would beat *

* won't you tell me, mister
how's your new love as well *

* hear you talk but don't
believe a word you say *

* it's a long way down *

* it's a long way down **

oh, my gosh,
I know him.
You do not.

Yes, I do.
How're my teeth?

They look good to me.
You are bad.
I know.

Why, you're a fancy player.

Remember me...
From the highway?

** [ Humming ]

[ Man groaning ]

Mornin', lover.

- Hey.
- Hi.

- Mm, you sure are
a pretty sight to wake up to.
- I'm fixin' you breakfast.

You impressed?

Little happy Fanny pants
for ya.

[ Chuckling ]
You got a great ass.

[ Chuckling ]
You hungry?
Oh, yeah.

Actually I'm kinda hungry
for you right now.

- What you gonna do about it?
- Well, come on over here,
and I'll show ya.

Oh, I can't.
I have mornin' breath.

I don't care.
I care.

** [ Humming ]

You gonna share that
with me?
* mm-hmm *

yeah?
I got some cavities
that need a litle--

oh, you got a fillin'
back there.
Uh-huh.

Ooh, that's a cavity.
That's a cavity.

[ Moaning ]

Now rinse.
Ahh!
Mm, mm, mm.

[ Both laughing ]

[ Laughing ]

Uh, honey, what are you
doin' home?

Zoe had ballet.

Uh, you remember Jack?

How'd this happen?

Fate.

As I've already announced,
we're ending our school year...

With a production
of Romeo and Juliet,

one of the bard's
most romantic plays...

And also one of his most tragic.
Hey, who are you
gonna audition for?

[ Teacher continues ]
I don't know.

How about the nurse?
She and Juliet have like a whole
bunch of scenes together.

I was thinking about
playing the nurse.
Oh, shut up.

[ Teacher continues ]
Hey, Ava.

I kinda lost my phone number.
You think I could have yours?

No.

Come on, honey!

- Whoo! All right!
- Whoo!

Turkey on the tenth.
Come on, honey.
Come on.

Let's go, Ava,
you're up.

All right, Ava,
let's go get 'em now.
Come on, baby.

You got it.

She's doin' the same thing
with her feet. I'm gonna go.
I don't know, honey. Okay.

Ava, come on,
hold on a second,
sweetheart.

It's the last frame here,
right? Let's make sure we get
your feet lined up correctly.

I know what I'm doin'.

All right. Just--
you see the second--

I know what I'm doin'.
Honey, listen to Jack. He knows
what he's talkin' about.

Mama, I know.
I know what I'm doin'.
She's fine.

She's fine. You know
what you're doin'. Go ahead.
Go get 'em, Ava. Come on.

- Shit.
- [ Both groaning ]

Damn it!
All right, Ava,
that's okay.

You got one more ball here.
Try again.

You oughta talk to the kid
about language, you know.
Honey!

- What?
- Mind your language.

All right, Ava, here we go.
This is it, now.

This is it.
You're gonna get 'em this time.
Come on, baby.

This is the tenth frame.
You gotta get your pins down.

Thank you
for remindin' me.
All right.

God.
She's a great kid.
She really is a great kid.

Oh!
Don't laugh, honey.
[ Laughing ]

Shit!
Come on.

That's not funny.
That's all right.
It was a good try.

Never mind, sweetheart.
You did real good. Don't laugh.
Jack, it ain't funny.

You did real good, sweetheart.
That was great, Ava.
You did good, did good.

You're gonna--
you're gonna get it.
Yeah.

Wanna play again?
Yeah! You want to?
Yeah, that's a good idea.

[ Mary Jo ]
Well, it's your birthday, honey.

Okay. Jack,
you have to put
your hat on.

I'll put the hat on.

Are you ready for your present?
You are? I've been waitin'
all night to give you this.

Just wait right there.
You gotta cut the cake.

I'm gonna cut the cake.

All right, Ava, here we go.

Birthday cake
for the birthday girl
with the boogie board.

It's a little messy,
but it's good.

Here you go.

I'll wait for your mom.
We'll all have a little cake.

That's really good, though.

- You like it?
- Yeah.

Good, huh?

[ Clears throat ]
There we go.

Close your eyes.
Don't look!

Hold out your hands.

[ Grunting ]
All right,
here we go.

There we go.

Happy birthday, sweetheart.
[ Gasping ]
Mama!

Look at him.
He's so cute.

What you gonna call him?
Blinky two.

Aw!
Look at this guy.

I love you, darlin'.
I love you too.

"I take thee at thy word.
Call me but love
and I'll be new baptized.

Henceforth
I never will be Romeo."

Mm. You're gettin'
better, ma.

Um--

"what man art thou
that thus--

"be--
be-- "bescreened"?
I don't know.

Bescreened and not
so s-stumblest
on my counsel?"

"By a name I know not
how to tell thee who I am.
My name--"

[ phone ringing ]
Oh, baby, I'm sorry.

Good afternoon. Guard tech.
This is Mary Jo.
How may I help you?

Well, yes, I can,
if you'd just like
to give me your address.

I'll send you one today.

Mm-hmm.

"My ears have not yet drunk
a hundred words...

"Of thy tongue's uttering,
yet I know.

Art thou not Romeo
and a montague?"

Neither, fair maid,
if either thee dislike.

[ Gasping ]

Oh, hi, I'm sorry.
My mom asked me to make
a few copies.

Guess I got
a little sidetracked.

Blowfish?
I was thinkin' more
a 200-pound Chinese lady.

- Yeah, I can see that.
- You wanna do one?

Uh, maybe later.

I'm auditionin' for Juliet
in the school play.

Yeah, you sounded
pretty good.

Well, I think
it sounds weird.

I mean, I don't know
how you're supposed to speak
and not get all tongue-tied.

Well, you know,
Shakespeare wrote to the beat
of the human heart.

Can't think of anything
much more normal than that.

What do you mean?
I don't understand.

Well, put your hand
on your heart.

What do you feel?
My heartbeat.

Right. That's what
he wrote it to.

Thump-thump,
thump-thump,
thump-thump.

Weak-strong, weak-strong.
So try saying the lines
to that.

What man art thou--
okay, wait, just--

that's good,
but listen to the heart.

Close your eyes a minute,
and just say the lines.

What man art thou--

- what man art thou
that thus bescreened...
- Bescreened.

In that?

- Wow! That worked.
- How about that?

That's so cool.
There you are.

I've been growin' gray hairs
out there waitin' for you.
Hi, Dan.

Oh, hi.

- Is my little girl
gettin' in your way?
- No, not at all.

Oh.
Dan's teachin' me
how to speak.

Oh, yeah?
Well, I hope he has
more luck than I did.

- [ Machine clattering ]
- I give up.

Well, come on.
Did you make my copies?
Where are they?

Well, she made
a 200-pound Chinese lady.
Oh, man, that is so cool.

[ Gasps ]
I wanna do one of those.
How'd you do that?

Okay, puff up your cheeks
real big.

Now you gotta squint
your eyes.

Squint your eyes.
There you go!
Perfect! Okay.

Hey, are you signing up
for basketball?

Hey!
Oh, hey!

Here.
That's for you.

What's this?
It's my new address
and phone number.

What happened?

We just moved in
with my mom's stupid
old boyfriend.

Oh, that guy
you were telling me about?

Saw your name
on the sign-up sheet.
So?

I thought you were auditioning
for the nurse.

So did I.
Who are you auditioning for?

Juliet.

I'm auditioning for Romeo.

[ Huffs ]
What's up with your hair?

My sister did it for me.
She plays bass in a garage band.

Really weird.
Wait! Zoe!

I'm taking that
as a compliment.

I gotta go.
I really gotta go.
Come on.

I really gotta go.
I'll see you in a couple days.
Be sure and lock up.

All right.
You hurry home.
I'll see you later.

- I will, baby.
- Jack!

Come on back,
just for a half-hour.

Oh, baby,
don't do this to me.
I gotta go.

I'll see you, baby.

Bye.
[ Engine starting ]

- Ava.
- Come in.

What you doin'?
Securin' an escape route.

Oh, honey, I don't think
that's gonna be necessary.
I do.

Well, look at this. I like
what you did with the place.

Thanks.

So, where'd the future
ex-husband go?

He had to go on the road
for a couple of days.

Ava, I wish you'd stop that.
I know you don't believe me,
but I'm here for a reason, I am.

Ain't you glad
that I finally found somebody
who's nice to me?

[ Scoffs ]

Anyway, this time,
I've decided to wait
six months...

To make sure it's perfect.

Oh, that's right.

This is the time
when you're all lovey-dovey,

and you spend every
wakin' minute together.

And then you start
hatin' each other,
and then you start fightin',

and then we pack up
and leave.
You're just so mean.

Ow!
That is so unfair.
That's mean.

And that ain't gonna happen.
Not this time. Not with Jack.
No it ain't.

Every day's gonna be
a romance.

He just had to go
on the road a couple of days,
that's all.

Is he comin' back?
Of course he is.
This is his house.

Oh, darn.

Honey.

Hey. What do you say
that you and me...

Go to the beach tomorrow,
just you and me,
girls' day out?

Will you go swimmin'
with me?
I'll get in the water.

You will?
My feet.

Mama, you have to put on
your bathing suit, and you
have to go swimming with me.

Why, I can't go in my suit.
It'll fall apart if it gets wet.

You can't use that
as an excuse.
Oh, yes, I can, just watch me.

Oh, no, you can't.
Yes, I can.

* when I woke up today *

* I was feelin' okay *

* but my mind started turnin'
as breakfast was burnin' *

hey, mama,
did you see that one?

That was great, baby.
Be careful.

Okay.

* and a lover's sweet sight *

* in the wink of an eye *

* in the wink of an eye **

Dan? Hi!
Hey!

It's me, Ava, remember?
Sure, 200-pound Chinese lady
on a boogie board.

What are you doin'
around here?
I was just headin' home.

Wow. Cool camera.
Hey, cool suit.

Oh, thanks. Maybe you can take
a picture of me and my mom
in our bathin' suits?

We have the same ones,
except she won't get hers wet.

Oh, yeah, why's that?
She's afraid she'll drown.

Hey, mama, look,
it's Dan from your work!

- Hi, Dan!
- Hi!

So, anyway, whatever
happened with your play?
You get that part?

Uh,

[ rhythmically ]
Auditions will be
comin' up real soon.

Great. You--
you're gonna be great.
Thanks.

The only problem is
that my ex-best friend, Zoe,

doesn't want me
to audition for it now.
Why not?

She says Juliet was written
for her. Now she's not
talkin' to me or anything.

Well, actually, the role
of Juliet was not written
for either one of you.

It was originally written
to be played by a boy.

A boy? What do you mean?
How could a boy play Juliet?

That's the way it was.
A girl couldn't have played
the role even if she wanted to.

Why not?
Just the way it was.

That is so weird.

I gotta think about that one.

I'm gettin' too dry out here.

I gotta catch another wave.

Say "hi" to my mom, and I'll
be up in a minute to take
that picture, okay? Bye.

How you doin'?

[ Man on TV, indistinct ]

[ TV continues ]
[ Chattering ]

I'm not surprised.
You must've drank a gallon
of water out there today.

Jack, you're home.
Yeah.
Got back early.

Welcome home, sweetie.
Thank you.
How you doin'?

How're you doin'?
I was wonderin' when you guys
were gonna get back.

Hi.
Well, hello.

Look at you,
all cozied up already.
What's all this?

Oh, my gosh,
you made dinner.

Ava, honey, Jack made dinner.
Ain't that sweet?

Well, we ate already.
I'm kinda--
[ Gasps ]

I'm gonna go finish
my homework. Ow!

You guys already ate dinner?

Yeah, I'm sorry, honey,
we went to the burger stand
on the way home.

Well, I wouldn't have
if I had known you made dinner.
That was so sweet. I'm sorry.

That's fine.

Well, I can still come eat
with you, though.
You just said you ate.

But I only had a bite of Ava's.
I wanna eat with you.

It's fine.
I'll eat alone.
Don't worry about it.

Okay.

[ Man on TV ]
That baby's gonna need a name.
Yours.

You want another helping?
Come on. Pull the trigger.

First you shoot me,
and then you gotta shoot hughie
because he saw you.

You'll have to shoot Mrs. Burke
and your own sister because
they'll see ya. Come on.

Pull the trigger.
She loved your present.

She was out there all day.
She loved it.

- The boogie board?
- Mm-hmm, she was great.
You'd have been proud of her.

She looked
like a little old prune
when she came out.

Oh, yeah?
Mm-hmm.

[ TV continues ]

And Dan came by.
He took a picture of US
in our matchin' bathin' suits.

That was real cute.

Mm.

Who's Dan?

Oh, he's just a guy from work.
We had a great day, honey.
I just wish you'd been with US.

No, no, it sounds like
you had a really good day.

I, on the other hand,
had a real shitty day,

in case you were wonderin'.

Well, of course I am.
Tell me about your day.

Never mind.

I wanna know, honey.
Please tell me.
No, you don't wanna know.

You haven't asked once
since you've walked in
the goddamn door.

- I got in an accident.
- Oh, my gosh, you okay?

Just a freak accident.
It was stupid.
What happened, honey?

I was-- I was gettin'
on the highway,

this guy was comin'
from the far left Lane--
mama!

- Yeah, honey!
- Help me. I'm stuck, and
there's no more toilet paper.

Okay. Wait-wait
a second. Go on.
No, mama. Hurry!

Okay.
Wait a second.
Hurry.

I'm comin' to get ya.

Ah, you have
such a pretty nursery.
Thank you.

Oh, my gosh,
would you look at these?

Oh, my, these hydrangeas
are so beautiful.

I used to grow these myself.

I always used to put
a big old rusty nail
down near the roots.

Make the soil extra acidic.
That turns 'em a real deep blue.

Did you ever try that one?

I tried to use
an old wedding band.

Figured it'd turn
anything acidic.
Did it work? I have a few.

No, but it was worth a try.
You been married
more than once, huh?

Mm-hmm. More than twice.
Uh-oh.

You win-- uh, lose.

Well, I think we may have
something in common.
I think so.

Does that mean
I get a discount?

Let's see how you like
my gardenias. Over here.

[ Phone ringing ]

- You ready with those files,
miss Walker?
- In a minute.

What's the matter?

Huh?

You okay?

Oh, nothin', I'm just--
[ Sighing ]

Listen, honey,
you and I are on the same cycle,
so I know that's not it.

You wanna tell me
what's bothering you?

Oh, honey, I'm just
sick and tired of workin'
in this office, that's all.

It's just drivin' me crazy.
I swear to god, if it wasn't
for you, I'd walk out now.

I tell you.
Well, don't let me
stop you.

- Still waitin' on those files,
miss Walker.
- In a minute.

That's what you said
an hour ago.

In a minute.

[ Door slams ]

I think if you wanna quit,
you should just go ahead
and do it.

[ Sighs ]
Honey, I still have
bills to pay.

You know, miss Walker,
I got better things to do
all day than wait for you.

- I beg your pardon?
- I said, I got better things
to do than wait for you.

See this little clock here?
It's going tick-tock,
tick-tock, tick-tock.

Hello.
Know what I'm sayin'?

Tick-tock, tick-tock.
You know what I'm sayin' here?

What's goin' on?

Miss Walker here works
like she talks-- slow.

You know something,
Mr. Cummings?
What?

I think that I have
better things to do
with my day...

Than waitin' around,
talkin' to you.

'Cause I'm wastin' my time
waitin' on you. I am.

So, do you know
what I think you should do?
Take these goddamn files.

You should just go and do
what the hell you want with 'em.
I ain't doin' anymore filin'.

You're drivin' me insane.
You should try this!
This is fun!

Goddamn it, I should've
done this weeks ago.

You know what?
I am sick to death of you.

I think you are a short,
little, patronizing, peekin'
little pervert.

So you can put that
in your pipe, you can smoke it,
do what you like with it.

'Cause I quit.
I'm tellin' you, this is
way better than a coffee enema.

Good-bye, y'all.
Have a nice day.

[ Dog barking ]

[ Vehicle approaching ]

** [ Radio: Hard rock ]

Hi, honey.
Hi.

- What are you doin' home?
- I quit my job.

What the hell'd you go
and do that for?

[ Laughing ]
Well, 'cause I didn't like
workin' there anymore.

[ Scoffs ]

All right.

Jack?

Jack, what's the--
honey.

Well, I can always
get another job.
What are you so pissy about?

I'm not pissy.

I'm gonna get a beer.
Jack.

[ Panting ]
Mama!

Mama, mama, mama.

[ Panting ]
What?

I got it. I got it.
I got the part.
Wh-- the what?

The part.
Juliet?
You're playing Juliet?

No, no-no-no!
It's better than that!

You know how Dan was saying
in the days of Shakespeare...
Take a breath.

That the boys used to play
the girls' parts?
Uh-huh.

So I was gonna audition
for Juliet,
but then I thought,

"why can't a girl
play a boy's part?"
Right?

So I auditioned for Romeo,
you know, and I got it, mama.
I'm gonna play Romeo!

Oh, my god.
You're playin' Romeo?
[ Screams ]

Oh, my god, that is so cool!
I don't believe it!
You're playin' Romeo!

You're gonna be
the best Romeo ever!
Jack!

Jack, she's playin' Romeo!

[ Laughing ]
You're so clever!

So then I was watching this boy
Eric audition for Romeo.

I went, "oh, man.
He can't act very well."

So I went up to
Mrs. Boman and I said,
"can I audition for Romeo?"

She said, "okay, sure.
Just put your hair back."
So that's what I do.

So, who's gonna make
your costume?

Can I make your costume?

Uh, no. They're already
taking care of that.

- What's the matter?
Don't you like it?
- Uh,

I don't know
what it is, Jo.

Well, it's goulash.
You don't like it?
I can make somethin' else.

With what? It looks like you
dumped the whole refrigerator
into this.

Well, that's how you make it.
You just put everything
in a pot and just add water.

I like it, mama.
I think it's good.

Thank you, sweetie.

[ Rummaging ]

What ya lookin' for?
Somethin' to hide the taste.

Where's the cayenne pepper?

Uh, near the mixin' bowls.

All right,
and where would that be, Jo?
Where are the mixing bowls?

Near the stove.

How come every time
I go to look for somethin'
it's somewhere else?

'Cause I moved it.

I'm only tryin'
to make the kitchen
more cookin'-friendly, Jack.

You need the spices near
the mixin' bowls, and you need
the mixin' bowls near the stove.

That makes sense.
Yeah.

I'm just tryin' to get
organized, I'm just tryin' to
liven the place up a little bit.

This place was screamin'
for some attention.

Yeah, well, my la-z-boy wasn't
screamin' for any attention.

Is there a reason
it went from the den
to the living room?

- 'Cause there's a better
readin' light in there.
- It's my la-z-boy, Jo.

I watch TV. It's my TV chair.
But I put the couch
in front of the TV.

- Yeah, I know,
with a white sheet on it.
- It's cheaper than a slipcover.

It's a sheet, Jo.

Well, I think it looks nice.
It brightens the place up
a little bit.

You know what?
I can't eat this shit.

Sure, honey.

Why can't we be
like a normal family, Jo?

I think we're normal.
Mm-hmm.
You think we're normal.

Normal families don't eat
goulash every night.

Normal families aren't out
touring the neighborhood pulling
furniture out of the trash.

Well, I think I found some
pretty good finds in the trash.

I think we have enough finds in
this house. Every time I come
home, I feel like we've moved.

- I'm just trying
to make the place more homey.
- Enough with the homeyness.

All right? You must have
a hundred goddamned baskets
in this house--

baskets for fruit,
baskets for towels, baskets
for goddamned toilet paper.

Toilet paper goes on a roll,
Jo, not in a basket.

Well, Jack,
why don't you just put it
wherever the hell you want to?

Huh? Why don't I give you
a roll right now, and you can
gnaw on it like an angry dog?

Would that put you
in a good mood?
That's real funny.

I'm glad you're
taking this seriously.
Well, we're in a good mood.

We're trying
to celebrate the fact
that she got a new part.

Why can't you enjoy that?
Why can't you share in that?

Why don't you just tell me
what you're so pissed off
about anyway?

Enough with the bubbles,
okay?

Wanna know what I'm so pissed
off about, Jo? I'll tell ya.
Yeah.

I lost my job, all right?
They fired me.
Revoked my c.D.L. License.

You know what that means?
That means no more long hauls.

So unless miss bubble breath
here plans on gettin' a job,

I think we have a little bit
of a problem, okay?

- You're makin' a mountain
out of a mole hill. Yeah.
- I'm makin'--

well, so, we'll both be
lookin' for new jobs.
That's okay. We'll be fine.

I'm glad someone can look
on the bright side of things.

Where you goin'?
To get somethin' to eat.

[ Door opens, shuts ]

[ Sighs ]

[ Woman ]
His collar turned up--
[ Man ] Richard?

He has one string of hair,
he wears it--
you're talkin' about his--

hi. Hi.
Oh, hi.
Hi!

Thank you for my gardenias.
They're just so beautiful.
You are very welcome.

Well, you sure know how
to make an exit.
Oh.

You guys missin' me
over at guard tech then?

You didn't wait
for your applause.
Oh, well, la-la-la.

[ Laughs ]
Oh, well, here you go.

Have a nice day.
I'm really sorry
about your Rose.

I am gonna get it to you
just as soon as it comes in.

Day or night.
I wanna see it.

Bye, Mary Jo.
Oh, bye, Dan.

Say "hi" to Ava
for me, okay?
Oh, I will. Thank you. Bye.

Hmm.
[ Clears throat ]

So, what can I
help you with today?

Well, I just quit my job,
and I just decided I ain't gonna
work anywhere I'm not happy.

That's all.
Well, thank you.
Good for you.

And I was just thinkin', well,
if there was any way I could,

get paid and stay here all day,
I'd sure love it.

Here?
Well, now, no.

Well, I can do
anything you need--
anything at all.

Honestly, I can, uh--
I can repot your plants, I can
do all the heavy stuff for you.

I can create real pretty
garden displays, uh--

not that I'm sayin'
they're not pretty already.
I mean, they are.

They're beautiful, you know.
I can sweep, I can clean,
I can work a cash register.

I'm real good with people,
and, well, I can even
clip your high hedges for you.

[ Stammering ] Well, I really--
please, honestly,
I don't charge a lot,

and, well, if you ain't happy
with me, you can send me home,
and I won't take it personal.

What do ya think?

I never thought about
hi-hiring anybody.

When-when were you
looking to start?

How 'bout right now?

[ Laughs ]
Can I take that as a "yes"?
Can I?

Thank you so much.
Thank you.

[ Girl ]
Nurse?
I'm not mad at you anymore.

[ Girl continues,
indistinct ]
I didn't know that you were.

Well, I was pretty pissed
there for a while.

Why didn't you tell me
you were auditioning for Romeo?
Who says I have to tell you?

Well, if I knew you were
auditioning for Romeo, I could
have auditioned for Juliet.

Now I'm stuck playing tybalt.
What's wrong with tybalt?

Well, tybalt dies
in the third act.

Juliet dies,
but at least she makes it
to the end of the play.

Besides, I got the hair
for Juliet.

[ Snickers ]

Now, by my maidenhead,

at 12 years--
hey, have you ever seen
the smog monster?

[ Actors continue ]
What's the smog monster?

Oh, it's
this really cool movie.

Well, my sister
and her boyfriend are
going tomorrow night--

you know, the one
in the garage band?

Oh, the one
who does your hair.
Yeah.

Anyway, you wanna go?

Okay.

Cool.

He sucks smoke out of chimneys?
And he spews smog out of the top
of his head and everything.

Oh, my gosh.
That sound like
my kind of movie.

[ Giggles ]
Now,
when Adam gets here,

I wanna be sure
and meet his sister.
Rachel.

She and her boyfriend
are in this really cool
punk rock band called "spit."

Oh, well,
now I can rest easy.
[ Chuckles ]

Well, what are you
gonna do tonight, mama?

I'm gonna make Jack watch
a Ava gardner movie.
[ Laughs ]

Good luck.
TV guide says it's
a double feature on tonight.

Hmm.

Hey, ma?
Mm-hmm?

Do you think I'm ever gonna
get them big ta-tas like you?

I mean, I keep pullin' on 'em,
but nothing happens.

Well, good grief,
don't pull on 'em.
[ Chuckles ]

You don't want 'em anyway.
They just get in the way.

Adam says it looks like
I'm smugglin' mini muffins.

Well, he better not be
touchin' them muffins.
[ Giggles ]

Please, it's so sad.

There ya go.

What do ya think?
I like it.

[ Doorbell rings ]
There's Adam with his hair.

[ Chuckles ]
I'll get it.

[ Sighs ]
How do I look?
Do I look okay?

You look beautiful.

Thanks, ma.
Get.

[ Inhales, sighs ]

[ Man ]
I'm gonna have to
get out and push.

[ Woman, indistinct ]

[ Man ]
Get behind the wheel.

[ Woman ]
What's that smell?

[ Man ]
Wh-what--
[ Screams ]

[ Movie continues ]

You can...
Kiss me if you want.

You mean it?

[ Coughs, gasps ]

[ Coughing ]
You okay?
[ Woman screaming ]

[ Inhales ]

[ Inhales ]
[ Man ]
Anything?

[ Man #2 ]
I got nothin' over here.
What's that? Can I try?

What about you, Hank?
No sign of forced entry, chief.

[ Sighs ]
[ Inhales ]

[ Coughs ]
Cool.

Adam asked me to go
to the school dance with him.

Oh, he did?
Mm-hmm.

My little baby's
all grown up.
[ Chuckles ]

Hey, mama?
Mm-hmm?

Why is it that when people kiss
in the movies, they don't have
to come up for air?

[ Laughing ]
I don't know, sweetie.
Why are ya askin'?

Well, 'cause Adam
kissed me last night,
and I couldn't breathe.

I mean, I even
had to use my inhaler.
[ Chuckles ]

He kissed you?
Uh-huh.

Oh, my gosh.

Well,

- I wasn't.
- Well, you have
to breathe, silly.

- Was your nose stuffed up?
- No.

Well, there you go. You gotta
breathe through your nose.

Like how?

Here.
Let me show ya.

Okay.

Now, first you have to make sure
that you tilt your head
the other way that he does,

'cause you don't want
to bump noses, do you?
Mm.

And then you kinda peck
a little bit like this.

Just to get things goin'.
Have a go.

Well, that ain't no good.
You gotta be gentle.
You gotta pretend it's him.

Come on. Mmm.

Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.
Oh, honey.

Mmm.
Oh, Adam, I love you.
[ Giggling ]

Mmm. Oh, Adam.
Mmm-mmm-mmm.

[ Both giggling ]

Now, if you start
usin' your tongue--
are you doin' that already?

- Kinda.
- Oh, my gosh. Oh, well.

Well, this is real tricky,
'cause now you have to breathe--

wait a minute. Do I breathe
through my nose or through my
mouth? You know, I don't know.

** [ Whistling ]
No, I do.
I breathe through my nose.

- Mornin', everyone.
- Mornin'.

What are you guys doin'?

Kissin'.
[ Snickers ]

What's goin' on?
What are you doin'?
Where've you been all mornin'?

- Doin' things, runnin' errands.
Ava, this is for you.
- Oh, my gosh.

Baby, that's for you.

Well, what is it?
Open it up.

[ Gasps ]
Mom, I got a habitrail.

- Yeah, I thought your mouse was
gettin' bored in that cage.
- Wow.

- What do ya think?
- It's, uh-- it's--

- it's--
- it's beautiful, isn't it?
Come on. Go try it on.

- Now?
- Yeah, now. Let's see
what it looks like.

Jack, what's got into you
this mornin'? Who put
the sunshine in your pants?

- I got a job. I did too.
- You did not.

- I told ya, didn't I?
What'd ya get?
- You did.

You're lookin' at
the new strapper truck driver.
The what?

What's
a strapper truck driver?

Well, I-I paint
the yellow lines
on the highway.

Oh.
That's great!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
Yeah!

So I'm gonna meet my boss,
pick up my uniform.
Mm-hmm.

- What do you say we go out
and celebrate? All right?
- Of course!

- Captain Nemo's?
- Yeah!

You make
the reservation?
Mmm-hmm.

[ Whispering ]
It's gonna be great.
We can have sex if you want.

- That thing
we always talk about.
- Okay.

I'll see you guys later.

[ Both giggle ]

I tell ya, it's a great job, Jo,
just a wonderful--
well, it sounds like it.

Great benefits, which--
are you guys listenin'?

Oh, I'm sorry, honey.
Go on.
Can we get menus, please?

"Here's to--"
I got dental. Dental for Ava,
hospital stay for you.

- Hospital stay?
- For when your mom and I
give you a little brother.

Uh, carry on, sweetie.
Come on, you're doin' real good.

Oh, the best part?
What?

We'll take my paycheck,
put it away every week, save it.

- Take your paycheck, pay for
groceries, bills, you know.
- You guys.

Yeah?
I'm tryin' to do this here.

I'm sorry, honey.
Jack, could we--
just let her do this.

Yeah. No, go ahead, Ava.
We'll listen to you...

Do your, uh, Romeo.
Thanks, honey. Come on.

"Here's to my love,
o true hypocrisy,
thy drugs are quick.

Thus, with a kiss, I die."

[ Gasps ]
Oh, my--

- shit! Sorry.
- You watch your mouth, please.

- I'm all wet!
Look at this.
- Here, let me get that.

- Miss? Miss, can we have
a washrag, please? So sorry.
- I got it. I got it.

Look at me.
Will you look at this?
[ Laughing ] Sorry.

Come on, honey. Sit down.
Sit down? I'm all wet.

Well, honey, come on.
It doesn't matter.
Keep going. Come on.

You were doin' real good
there. Come on.
I'm dead.

You're what? You're dead?
What do you mean, you're dead?
Unbelievable.

'Cause Romeo kills himself.
He does?
Did you know Romeo died?

I'm all wet.
I don't care if Romeo dies.
It's Shakespeare. It's tragic.

I personally think Romeo ought
to watch her language.
Jack, it was just an accident.

Well, look at me.
You know what?

Let me do this. Gimme the book,
and we'll put it over here.
How 'bout that, okay?

Enough with the Shakespeare.
We'll have a little
dinner conversation.

No more of this--
this... poetry.

- Let me get this for you.
- Thank you.
Glass all over my feet.

I'll have somebody come with
a broom and take care of it.
And my shoes.

- Could we take
a little beer here?
- You want anything, Romeo?

Could we get those menus,
please? Thank you.
Sorry.

[ Sighs ]

[ Gulps ]
Oh, that's good.

- I forgot to tell you
the best part.
- What?

I'm not workin' on weekends.
You're home every weekend?

I'm home every weekend.
This way the three of US--
put the spoon down--

- the three of US--
- thank you. Thank you so much.

Thank you.
Oh, why, look at this.

This just looks delicious.

-It's a nice menu, huh?
I told you this place was nice.
-Yes, you did.

Doesn't this look nice?
We'll get a nice dinner.
[ Sighs ]

Well, I'm gonna
have the lobster.
I think I'll get the lobster.

Well, I'm gonna have steak,
a big ol' fat steak.

[ Laughs ]
Steak? What are you
havin' steak for?

We're in a fish restaurant.
Come on, you're not gonna have
steak. Go with the COD.

- Oh. Okay.
- I'll get the lobster,
you have the COD, we'll share.

Yeah, we'll do that.
We'll get the--
I want fish fingers.

Fish--
she wants fish fingers.
This kid is--

we have fish fingers at home,
Ava, in the freezer. You can
have fish fingers every night.

You're not having
fish fingers.
Can't she have fish fingers?

We have fish fingers at home.
There's no need to have
fish fingers.

Oh, you know,
why don't we get her the, um--

uh, what about
the fisherman's platter?

How 'bout that?
The fried clams,
a little scallops, shrimp,

piece of fillet,
a nice big piece of--
clams?

Yeah. That's a good thing.
I hate clams.
They taste like shit.

[ Muttering ]
They taste like shit.

Jo, will ya-- enough
with the "shit," all right?
Every other word is shit.

I'm really startin' to get...
Tired of it, all right?

Have we spoken about this?
Yeah, I know we have.
Let-let's just--

let's not talk about this now.
I think the kid at this age
needs a little discipline.

You just sit there
like it's okay.
Can we talk about this later?

Yes, but have you spoken--
we're havin' a nice dinner.
Come on.

Let's just have a nice dinner.
Gimme the book. I know.
That's what we're gonna have.

Gimme the book, Ava.

Ava, give me the book.

Jack, please. Please--
shut up!

- Gimme the book.
- Don't you dare.
Don't you dare.

- You okay, baby?
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
It's okay.

- It is not okay!
- It's all right.
Sit down. Sit down!

I know where this is goin',
and I ain't doin' it anymore.
Come on, hon, we're leavin'.

What do you mean,
you're leavin'?
Are you deaf?

Where you g--
beer.

One beer.
Gimme the check, please.

Now. The check.
The check?

The check.

But mama, what are we gonna do?
Where are we gonna go?
I don't know.

Come on, mama.
I have school in the morning.
I know you have school.

What are we gonna do?
I don't know.
I have no idea.

Mama, I like it here, okay?
I don't want to go.
[ Sighs ]

I know you do, just please--
just let me think.
Mama, we don't have any clothes.

[ Sighs ]
Ava, shut up.
Now get in there.

[ Phone rings ]

[ Sighs ]

Hello?

Yeah. Thank you.

[ Sighs ]

[ Murmurs ]
Rise and shine.

[ Sighs ]
What are you doin'?

Come on, get up.

We gotta get goin'.
Come on.

You just keep that.
[ Ava mutters ]
Kiss my butt.

I'm not goin' to Arizona.
No.
Yes, you are. Get in the car.

[ Sighs ]
Ava, get in the car.

- No.
- Ava, get in this car
right now.

No.
I ain't in the mood for this.

Now, you get in this car
right now! Get in the car!
No.

- No.
- Goddamn it!

Ava, I ain't kiddin'.
Get in this car.

Neither am I. I'm not goin'.
Yes, you are. Now,
you get in this car right now!

No.

Ava-- Ava Mary Walker,
I've had it with you.
You get in this car right now!

No! I'm not goin'
to Arizona with you, okay?
Yes, you are.

No, I'm not. You're gonna meet
some other asshole, say it's
gonna last, and it's not.

We're gonna end up
just like we are now, okay?
And I'm sick of it!

I'm sick of chasin' losers
with you,

I'm sick of goin' everywhere
with you, and I'm sick of you!

Ava, come here!
Get back here! Ava!

[ Gasps, sighs ]

[ Knocking ]

Got here as fast as I could.
What happened?

Ava ran away.
What?

Well, she just ran away.
I-I-I guess she didn't want
to move to Arizona.

She just ran off,
and I don't know where she is.
I've looked everywhere.

Wait. Movin' to Arizona?
What are you talkin' about?
Why are you in this motel?

Shit. Uh--

Blinky two.

I don't understand.
Why were you leaving anyway?
[ Sighs ]

I told you. We left Jack.

But why Arizona?
Why couldn't you just
stay here?

[ Sighs ]
I don't know.
I heard it was a nice place.

I didn't want to keep
bumpin' into him.

Jo, you're not gonna be
bumpin' into him.
That's a crazy reason to move.

I thought you liked it here.

I do.

Well, what were you gonna do?
Just get in your car
and take off?

Were you even gonna
say good-bye?

Yeah.

[ Scoffs ]
Well, when?

When you got there?

Why are you goin'
to Arizona?

Tell me. Come on.

Why?

Why are you leavin'?
Tell me.

I had
an old boyfriend there.

[ Sighs ]

Oh, sweetie.

Hello?

Hi, Dan.
Ava.

I hope it's not too late.
I saw your lights were on.

I wanted to come by,
welcome you to the neighborhood.

Can I get you a beer
or anything?

No.

Wh-what's goin' on?
What are you doin' in there?

Okay. Where's your mom?

I don't know.
Probably at that stupid motel.

Which stupid motel?

The pink dolphin.

She dumped Jack.

Oh.

I haven't been in here
in a while.

I don't wanna go away again.

Why would you
have to go away?

'Cause we always do.

I don't imagine
your mom knows
where you are, huh?

No.

We probably ought
to tell her.

Yeah, I guess so.

Who's this?

That's blinky two.
I saved him.

That's Fred.

Fred.

Blinky two.
[ Chuckles ]

Whatcha doin'?

Looks like you guys are
pretty good friends.

Yep.

I like your camper.

Thanks.

Yeah, me too.

My wife and I bought it
a long time ago.

We were gonna take it
all the way to the tip
of Maine.

Did you go?

No.

Never did.

So it's just been
sittin' here all this time?

[ Chuckles ]

How come you didn't go?

Well, she died.

Oh.

[ Sighs ]

How?

Uh,

the car accident.

We were-- we were leaving
the very next morning.

A bunch of our friends
threw US a party.

[ Chuckles ]

It was the best party.

And, uh,

I shouldn't
have been drivin'.
[ Chuckles ]

[ Sighs ]

Well, then,
I bet she'd be sad if...

She knew it was just
sittin' here rustin'.

[ Sniffles ]

[ Laughs softly ]

[ Whispering ]
You scared me to death today.
You know that, don't you?

I know.

I'm sorry.

I just like it here,
mama.

[ Sniffles ]
And I wanna play Romeo.

I know.

Well,
why can't we stay?

Don't you like it here?

Yeah, I do.

Then let's stay.

You can always
move when I'm 18
if you really want to.

I don't wanna
go anywhere without you.

Hi, there.

Hey, there.
What brings you here?

Just wanted to say "hi."

Thanks for lookin' after Ava.

That was real nice.
Thank you.

Wasn't sure I was ever gonna
see you guys again.

Yeah.
[ Chuckles ]

I ain't too good
at stickin' around.

But Ava wants to,
so here I am, and, well,
I just gotta get on with it.

Haven't I?
So, there.

So you're stayin' with US.
Yep. Guess so.
[ Chuckles ]

Good.

Well, thanks.
Hey, will you do me a favor?
Just jump in there...

Try turnin' it over,
see if she starts?
Yeah.

[ Engine cranks,
rumbles, starts ]

Cool!

Let's just let her
run for a while, huh?

Man, I wish me and Ava had
had one of these things.

A lot more fun
than a motel.

So you guys moved around
a lot, huh?

Oh. Here.
Oh.
[ Chuckles ]

Uh--
what? Oh.

Here.

[ Both laugh ]

All right.

Well, I got married
the first time
when I was 17, you see.

It was the only way I could
get away from my mama.

And, well, I got married
the second time
to get away from the first one,

and, well,
I just kept goin' and...

Never stopped.

I'm figurin' it's
about time I stood up
on my own two feet, so,

that's what I'm doin'.
[ Chuckles ]

Anyway, my little baby's
playin' Romeo, so--
hey, big night's comin' up.

Sure is.
I hope you can come.

I know Ava'd really like it.

What about you?

What?
I was thinkin' maybe
we could go together.

You askin' me out
on a date?

Well, yeah.
Yeah.

We're friends.

Yeah, that could be
a problem.

[ Chuckles ]
No, well, think about it.
[ Giggles ]

Okay. Thanks.
Sure.

Bye!

- It's so cool that you stayed.
- I know.

We finally got a year lease.
We've never had
a year lease before.

You're crazy!
You're just gonna leave
all your stuff at Jack's.

Don't you want any of it?
It's just stuff, Laurie.
I can always get more stuff.

He'll be by.
You know that, don't you?
Yeah, I know.

Thanks for reminding me
though, sweetie.
Here. Grab ahold of that.

Anyway, look.
I got a chance to go
yard-sale-ing.

What'd you get that for?
Ten bucks?
Well, he wanted ten,

but I flashed him
a big ol' southern smile
and got it for four.

[ Scoffs ]
All I have to do is just--

I don't know--
fix it up a little,

put a shade on it,
use a little creativity.

Well, maybe you can use
some of that creativity
to help me out a little.

Sure, sweetie.
With what?

My dress.

Your what?

I'm gettin' married.

I don't believe it.
It's about time.

What brought this on
all of a sudden?
Billy Jo-- he passed his test.

I am throwin' away my pills,
and we're gonna start a family.

Oh, my gosh.
I'm gonna be baby-sittin'.

Yes, you are.
[ Laughing ]
Oh, sweet thing.

That is so great.
Isn't life great?
[ Laughing ]

Life's great, sweetie.
Hey, girls!
[ Whistles ]
What?

Come here. Guess what.
[ Singsong ]
* Laurie's gettin' married *

cool!
Isn't that cool?
I think this deserves a beer.

Oh. Well, no, we can't.
We're late as it is.

We're supposed to be there
an hour before it starts.

Well, so,
have Billy Jo drive.

[ Doorbell rings ]
Ava, honey, could you get that?

Okay!
What?

Oh, sweetie, that's so sweet,
but she can't. She's goin'
to Zoe's for a cast party after.

Hi, Dan. [ Gasps ]
Oh, thanks!
For the starlet.

- Dan's here!
- Okay, I'm comin', I'm comin'.

Oh, what's that?
Uh, for the stage mother.

I wouldn't give it
to her right now.
She's a little frazzled.

Excuse me.
I'm wearing the yellow dress,
the one with the blue flowers.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Okay. All right.

Okay. All right.
Well, we'll meet you
in front of the theater, then.

Okay?

- [ Whispering ]
I'm almost done.
- Take your time.

What? Okay.
All right, sweetie. Bye.

- Hi, Dan.
- Hi.

- Ten minutes.
Look what Dan gave me.
- Okay, sweetie.

Oh, my gosh.
That is so sweet!

Here, honey, let me
put them in some water.

- Now, sweetie?
- Mm-hmm?

You packed your bag?
Yep.

- Did you put
your inhaler in it?
- Mm-hmm.

Okay.

Where are my car keys?
Ava, honey,
you seen my car keys?

We can take my car.

Oh. Yeah,
okay, okay.
Nine minutes!

Right!
[ Chuckles ]
Now, sweetie,

don't be nervous, okay?

You know all your lines.
You're gonna do just fine.

Mama, stop worryin'.
It's okay. I'll be fine.

Okay?
Okay. Come on,
sweetie.

Let's go. Come on.

I wanna-- ow!
[ Purse slaps rear ]

Ma!
Okay.

** [ Elizabethan ]

[ Thud on stage ]

No! I shall withdraw.

But this intrusion--

[ woman whispering ]
"Now seeming sweet."

This intrusion
now seeming sweet,

will confront
with bitterest gall.

If I profane
with my unworthiest hand
this holy shrine,

the gentle sin is this:

My lips,
two blushing pilgrims,

stand ready
to smooth thy rough touch
with a tender kiss.

Have not saints lips,
and holy Palmers too?

Ay, pilgrim, lips
that they must use for prayer.

Oh, then let lips do
what hands must do,

Grant thou,
lest fate turn to despair.

Saints don't move,
though Grant for prayer's sake.

Then move not,
for my prayer's affect I take.

[ Whispering ]
Are you ready?
Here I come.

[ Whispering ]
No!

[ Scattered laughter ]

Go, go, go!
** [ Trumpet fanfare ]

Noise--
then I'll be brief.

O happy dagger,
this is thy sheath.

There rust,
and let me die.

- [ Grunts ]
- [ Gasps ]

[ Whispering ]
I'll meet ya outside.
Okay.

** [ Music up ]

[ Applause, cheers ]

[ Applause, cheers
continue ]

[ Sniffles ]
I'm so proud of you.
[ Laughs ]

You were great, baby.
Thanks, mama.

Ya happy?
Good!
Yeah.

** [ Rock, faintly ]

Wow. You're
a really good kisser.

Thanks.
My mom showed me.
Cool.

You were great.
You were--
oh, thanks. So were you.

Hey, did you hear that
they're putting on a play at
the starlight beach playhouse?

Really?
Yeah, Peter Pan.

Come on in,
the cake's ready!

H-Hey, where's Ava?

W-What is it?
What's the matter?

I think my auntie Rose
just got here.

[ Door closes ]

I look like I just
fell off a horse.

Well, sweetie, you're gonna be
on that horse for the next 40
years, you gotta get used to it.

You gotta get a little
John Wayne goin', Romeo.
No, mom.

You gotta get a little wiggle
in it. You see? Like that.
[ Giggling ]

There ya go.
A little come-and-get-me
Frankenstein wiggle goin' on.

Well, what if you get
a wedgie?
Uh, well, I don't know.

Then you gotta kinda grab on
and just yank it on through.
[ Laughs ]

[ Continues laughing ]
Fthhww!

Well, I don't know what that
was, but it sure wasn't a--
[ Slaps, grunts ]

You gotta pretend
like you're James brown.
Hoo-aah!

You can always stick it on your
head in case you bang your head.
Mom!

Oh, I've gone blind!

No!
[ Laughs hysterically ]

I been walkin' around
with these in my "bray-siere"
this whole day.

[ Laughing soundlessly ]

[ Giggles, pounds floor ]
Mama!

[ Laughing continues ]

[ Laughing,
squealing continue ]

No, stop!
[ Laughing ]

[ Laughing continues ]

You better not let me drown.
I'm only goin' in to my knees.
Mama, would you stop worryin'?

That's all.

But mom, we're gonna be
livin' here for a long time.
Okay?

You're gonna have to get in
sooner or later.
Later works for me.

Naw.

I'm goin' up to my knees
today, okay? After that
I'm not promising anything.

You have to.

Would you just
let me do this
at my own pace, please?

I promise you
by the time you're 18 I'll be
boogie boardin' with you.

Is that a deal?
It's a deal.

Oh, you know what
I've been thinkin'?
What?

I've been thinkin'
about a dog.
Oh, no.

No, listen, listen-en-en.
Uh-uh.

We got a big back yard,
and we could take it
for walks on the beach.

I can train it,
and it'll protect the house.

It'll pee on the floor.
No, it will not.

There's my shit
all over the place as it is.
Mom.

You can't train moms,
but you can train a dog.

I'll train it.
I promise.

I even have a name for it.
Oh, you do?
What's that?

Patty.
But you don't even know
what kind of dog it is yet.

So we're gonna get one?
Well, I didn't say that.

But you didn't say
we weren't.

I say lots of things.
I'll think about it.

You'll come around.
I'll think about it.
[ Chuckles ]

* and I never know *

* seein' as I been
in California *

* but I remember
seein' the rain *

* a-comin' down, lord *

* and I never know *

* seein' as I been
in California *

* but I remember
seein' the rain *

* a-comin' down, lord *

* well, I never went there
at the time *

* but I toast
the California wine *

* I remember strollin' along
through the boulevard *

* but I'll never
forget the lights *

* the lights of Hollywood *

* and I remember a-riding down
the harbor freeway *

* and I never know *

* seein' as how
I been in California *

* but I remember
seein' the rain *

* a-comin' down, lord *

* and I never know *

* seein' as how
I been in California *

* but I remember *

* seein' the rain
comin' down *

* well, I'll never forget
the warmth *

* of that Sandy gold sun *

* and I remember goin' across
the golden gate bridge *

* but I'll never
forget the day *

* that I motored
into big L.A. *

* I remember little doggies
all playin' ball, y'all *

* and I never know *

* a little dog
down in California *

* but I remember
seein' the rain *

* a-comin' down, lord *

* turn on the light *

* let it shine on me *

* turn on the light *

* and let it shine on me *

* the big L.A. *

* the big L.A. *

* the Hollywood lights *

* are gonna make them rise *

* but I never saw the stars
shine in California *

* but I remember *

* seein' the rain *

* comin' down **