Tucker Therapy (2019) - full transcript
In order to win a promotion at work, a frustrated father tricks his dysfunctional family into a week of family therapy.
As I
said before Mr. Tucker,
I'm no stranger to people
who don't want to
sit in that seat.
Why are you doing that?
- You keep calling
me Mr. Tucker.
My name's Jack.
That's right, I'm sorry,
Mr. Tucker is your father.
Are you currently seeing anyone?
- Do you guys serve food here?
Like, do you ever feed us?
No, we don't.
- You, you could, you know.
Jack.
- You could do better
than that, like.
Are you
going to answer my question?
- Like just, like I'm
not even asking for much
just like a snack, just
like something to nibble on
while you grill me
through this...
I
have some rice crackers.
- That would literally
probably kill me.
Not that you care.
Jack, I
think it's time we talked about
why you're here.
Can you tell me
in your case what
malicious destruction
of property is?
- An over reaction?
Why do
you think you're here then?
- You looked lonely.
That's very funny.
- You didn't laugh.
It
wasn't that funny.
Would you mind telling
me what happened?
- It's kind of a long story.
It's
kind of a long session.
- It was Fourth of July weekend.
Oh man he is gonna kill you.
- I'm not tellin' him, you were
supposed to be watchin' him.
- He's your kid.
- You have got to be kidding me.
Why does your child refuse
to act like a human being?
- I thought Jack
was watchin' him.
- No, no excuses,
Blake he is two now,
he will be prefect
or he will be shunned.
- I don't expect
him to be perfect.
I just don't expect to find my
car keys in the septic tank.
Is that really too much to ask?
- It was an accident, Dad.
- It's the third
time he's done it.
- Okay smart alecks laugh it up.
- It's funny.
- You know what else is funny?
My two oldest sons pawin'
through the septic tank
lookin' for my car keys.
I got one pair of gloves
and I'm givin' 'em to Joel.
- How do you expect
us to get 'em out?
- Well the first
time this happened,
I stuck one of those little
floater things on there so...
- Dad, I gave you
money to get a new set.
- And it was barely enough to
cover my emotional damages.
Get 'em out.
- You cannot be warped enough
to think we're actually
gonna do this,
that's ridiculous.
- You wanna know
what's ridiculous?
Your twin brother has a
job, a house and a child
while you the oldest
still live in a room
you wet your bed in.
- One time, I wet
the bed one time!
- I meant when you were a kid.
Why do you torture me?
I know you do these
things on purpose.
- Papa.
- Yeah, Papa, the same Papa
who's keys you flushed down
the toilet three times now.
They're gonna mess
you up so bad.
- Aside from forcing me to
grow a peach fuzz mustache
in the 10th grade this
is the dumbest thing
he's ever made me do.
- I thought you looked
good with the 'stache.
- Shut up.
- I did, it was distinguishing.
- You looked like Aunt Thelma.
- Your Highness.
Holy!
Flashlight.
- Do you see it?
- Middle right, green spot.
- Oh yeah.
- So, I was gonna
propose tonight?
- Why?
- You and Alexa?
Congrats, man.
- Thanks.
I didn't wanna spring it
on you guys when I did it,
and I could use your help.
- How long have you guys
even known each other?
- Three months today actually.
Do you have the ring?
- Yeah, I have it right here.
- Oh.
Yeah.
- You think maybe you
should put that away
so you don't have to explain
why her right hand always smells
so different from her left?
- Yeah, that's
probably a good idea.
- Yeah.
- Grandpa, will
you pass the beans?
- Turn your hearing
aid up, old timer.
- Karma.
- Shut up, Joel.
- Don't single him out.
- You can shut up too, Nancy.
Mr. Glassbrook, what
are you doin' here?
- That's no way to
welcome your boss.
You're fired.
- I am?
- No, of course not.
I was merely being playful.
Welcome me.
- Yes, welcome.
Sorry, it's just odd
to see you in my house.
- You think that's odd,
don't look in the
trunk of my car.
Come, Richard.
What a lovely place you have.
Nice and tiny.
Richard, could you please
have a seat on this cushion
directly adjacent
to that arm rest?
- Is everything okay?
You seem a little... warm.
- Of course.
It's just these darn
Norwegian pants.
Anyways, I have
written in my agenda
some matters of business
that we need to attend to.
Says here, how is your family?
It's great, why?
- Well, I'm not sure
of the correlation.
But at seven o'clock
my agenda says
that I'm supposed to ask
you about your family,
and then give you the
opportunity for a physical.
And what the agenda
says, we must do.
Would you happen to
have any rubber gloves?
Never mind.
I found my spare pair.
- Are you...
Are you sure that's
what that says?
- I am, indeed.
See here.
Let's see, seven o'clock.
Oh.
That's not what it says.
I'm to offer to a
fiscal opportunity.
Fiscal.
How about that?
Well, that makes
quite a bit more sense
to say the least.
Now, back to the
fiscal opportunity.
How would you like one
week paid vacation,
and the opportunity to be
promoted to shop foreman?
To Ted's Job?
I was recently
contacted by a man from
Johnson's Family
Unity Survival Camp.
He said that you been randomly
selected for a week long stay
for you and your
family, for free.
- So, it's a therapy camp?
Why would I be offered
a promotion for that?
- Because family is
important at Glassbrook's!
Glassbrooks has been
family owned and operated
for nearly 45 years.
Ted is planning on
retiring next month,
and I would like to
replace him with someone
I feel has initiative in
all the areas that count.
Well, there's nothing more
important to me than family.
- That's the spirit!
I'm gonna use your restroom.
Oh, Richard, if you do decide
that you want to do this,
and if at the end of the
week you or your family
hasn't completed the
course in its entirety,
I'll be forced to
terminate your employment.
Glassbrooks is no
place for quitters.
To the john!
Mmm.
- Your mother would be so proud.
What'd your boss want?
- Oh, he was just offering
me some vacation time.
And what the crap are
Joel and that girl doing?
- Her parents named her Alexa,
and he's proposing.
- Marriage?
- No, a dietary change.
- What are we doing?
- Just trust me.
- You knew about this?
- Of course.
- How come nobody told me?
- Why would they?
- Joel.
- Okay, stop.
Look around, babe.
No, no, I didn't say
take the blindfold off.
I said look around.
- How do you expect me to see
anything with a blindfold on?
- Exactly.
What you see right now
is exactly how I felt
before I met you.
It's what I feel when
you're not around.
I never wanna feel
that way again.
- This is bad.
Bad.
This is so bad.
Bad.
This is bad!
- So, Alexa Lynn Grainer.
- You just used my full name.
- Will you take the
blindfold off of both of us?
For good?
- Yes!
Can you do a pig?
- All right, Joel.
Go fireworks.
- I cannot believe she said yes.
- Ah, she's young.
She doesn't know what
she's saying yes to.
Right, babe?
- What have you been
feeding this kid?
- Right.
- The point is, Joel
just started college.
He has no idea what he's doing.
- And you do?
Dang it, I missed my cue.
- For what?
- You know I love you?
- You better.
I love you too.
Can I go show off my ring now?
- Sure.
- They have no idea what
I sacrificed for them.
Don't I owe it to myself
to get somethin' I want.
I mean...
- Rude, you can't
ask a man a question
and move on before
he can answer.
Were you raised by wolves?
- It was rhetorical.
- How could I have possibly
known that, Richard?
- Are you gonna listen or not?
- Yes.
Because that was a
well phrased question.
Dun dun dah dah!
Bill Owens and Richard Tucker
please report to Mr.
Glassbrooks' office.
What does
he want with me?
- Mr. Glassbrook.
- Gentlemen!
Richard.
Come, come, come, come.
Oh!
And...
Bill.
Now Richard, Richard.
I wanted to apologize for
the mix up we had last night.
You know, what the
agenda says, I do.
Due to a circumstance
much the same last week,
I rode my neighbors
dog bareback.
- There's really no apology
necessary, Mr. Glassbrook.
- Good.
It felt a bit much.
Please... remain standing.
Could you two please switch?
Just go ahead and switch
for me, thank you.
Oh, that was perfect, excellent.
Please, have a seat.
Bill, could you please
put your left leg up?
Thank you.
Richard, I also
wanted to give you
this pamphlet about the camp.
Apparently, you can
have a family friend
facilitate all of
your therapy sessions
and you wouldn't
even have to pay
for a licensed
therapist to come out.
I thought our friend Bill here
could help you and
your family out.
- I don't know how
to be a therapist.
- Nonsense, young man!
Your very voice is therapeutic.
Now Richard, what did your
family think about the idea?
- They were...
Very excited when you left.
- Excellent!
Ha-ha!
I love deliverin' smiles!
Now, Richard, I am so
excited about this.
Now, apparently, by
the end of the week,
in order to complete
the curriculum,
your family will have to do
some intensive obstacle course
that would make a
baby carrot smile.
That was the chair.
Back to work.
Let's go.
- Janet, bring me
my Wednesday pants.
- Who the heck are you?
- I'm the sink thief!
Woo!
I'm just kiddin', man.
I'm the plumber
your wife called.
I'm certified!
- You called a plumber?
- Yes.
- I fixed the sink last
night like I said I would.
- You did not fix the sink.
- Yes, I did.
- No, you fixed the
original problem
in your typical
duct tape fashion.
This morning the
water wouldn't stop.
At least before you touched it,
the kitchen didn't flood
every time someone
flushed the toilet.
- Here we go, typical Mary.
Everything Richard
does is wrong.
- Because you never
help this family
for the sake of helping.
You do it to prove
you can fix things.
You can't fix
everything, Richard.
You are just so good.
Mmm.
Who needs girls?
- That still doesn't
give you the right
to go behind my back.
- Well, I'm sorry Richard.
I'm sorry I'm the one that
had to have the sink fixed.
I'm sorry I'm the one
that handles the bills.
I'm sorry I'm the one
that's raised this family
for the last 25 years.
I'm truly, truly sorry.
I could retire early with
that job.
I could get a motorcycle.
- Bill, meet me at Nacho's.
- Okay! ...who is this?
You want me to therapist
your family, huh?
- Man, it's a lot of pressure.
- A lot of pressure for you?
Imagine if you were
in my boots, Richard.
Imagine some poor,
lonely man came along,
and asked you to
raise his child.
And not just the middle child.
Imagine he's trusting you
with the one he likes.
- Bill, nobody's asking
you to raise my kids.
It's one week.
If I did this you'd just
be an outside voice.
- I feel like
you're always using
your outside voice, Richard.
It's your inside voice
you need to be working on.
- I mean they need...
- Inside voice.
- I mean, maybe they
need to hear it from someone
other than me.
- As I've always said,
I've always thought of myself
as that rich classy
uncle to your kids.
You know, the kind
that drives fancy cars
and calls women dames.
Stuff like that.
- Bill, come here.
You never met my family.
This wouldn't work if you had.
- That doesn't mean I'm not
in their hearts, Richard.
I think deep down we've
all got a rich classy uncle
out there somewhere.
- Bill, I've got to do something
I vowed when I started college
that I would never let
a broad change my life.
- Broad is a classy word!
- And now, here I
am, 20 years later,
and I'm in the same job I was
when I dropped out of college.
I need to do this.
For me.
- All right, I've
got two questions.
A, are you positive this is
what's best for your family?
And C,
can a wear a cape?
I can wear a cape?
Woo, I can wear a cape!
Woo!
- No cape, man, no cape.
- I'm gonna do this, and
you're gonna help me.
- Okay, I can love the
middle child for a week.
- Thank you.
You're weird.
- Family vacation?
Yes.
- Like, all of us together?
- Yes.
- Why?
- Because I believe this
family deserves a break.
- Then why would we go together?
- Jack, don't be a pain.
Your father makes a good point.
- Thank you.
- I'm just not sure what
your motive is here.
- Nope, I'm completely
unmotivated.
I just realized I
haven't necessarily
been involved like I should,
and I wanted to make
it up to all of you.
- So, we're gonna go together?
So,
this vacation your father
took you on...
- He tricked us into therapy.
Right, sorry.
This therapy vacation
is where you met Lydia?
The girl with the
body of Hercules' wife
and eyes like ocean treasure.
- I never said that.
That's
what I have written.
- Doesn't sound like me.
But
this is where you met her?
- Can I tell the story, please?
Of course, Jack.
- Can't believe you
brought the bus.
- What are you talking about?
This thing's a classic.
Sorry.
- Name?
- Richard Tucker.
- Your last name was enough.
No need wasting breath.
- You know, I'm always on
him about wasting his breath.
I don't think he
fully realizes that
he's only got so many
left in his old age.
- Get out of my
face, wet sheets.
- Breath
mint.
- Well, you should fit right in.
Orientation starts at the
Wesley center in 10 minutes.
After that, you'll canoe to your
peace quarters.
Please sign this waiver
indicating that all
members of your party
as here of their own free will,
and releasing the camp from
all physical, emotional
or psychological damages you,
or members of your party
may accrue during your stay.
Can you just act like
an adult once in your life?
You're like a monkey.
- Seriously, everyone
just stop it!
- Hold this.
- What are you doing?
- You have a nice face.
- You just randomly
approach strangers
and take their picture?
- If they're not
completely hideous.
- You might wanna get a picture
of what's going on behind you.
- You guys know it looks
like you're making out
with each other, right?
- Thanks.
Enjoy your family therapy.
- Hello, hello, hello!
Welcome to Johnson's
Family Unity Survival Camp.
And welcome to a
life changing week
of family therapy.
- Of course.
- Uh-oh.
It looks like we have a
little bit of commotion
in the audience.
Sir, what's your name?
- Richard Tucker.
- Richard Tucker, tell
us why you're here.
- Because my family needs help.
- I think we need to
give Richard a good hand.
Admitting you have a
problem is the first step.
A matter of fact, let's all
gather around the Tucker family
and give them a Johnson
nonphysical encouragement hug.
- I knew it was too
good to be true.
You're sick, you know that?
- I didn't have a choice.
- Uh-oh, someone hasn't
entirely been honest, have they?
Son, what's your name?
- Jack.
- Jack Tucker, I
bet you are excited
about the survival
obstacle course
at the end of the
week, aren't ya?
What's that, Gary?
Great question, Jack.
The survival obstacle course,
otherwise known as the S.O.C.,
is the final session
of the program,
and it's gonna be especially
designed for the Tuckers
to show their family
unity once and for all.
Doesn't that get your
blood pumpin', Jack?
All right, Tucker family.
This next week is gonna...
Say it with me.
Change your life!
- So, is this your
first time at Johnson's?
- It would appear so.
- Why'd you decide to come?
- Because I'm hopelessly devoted
to seeing my family succeed.
- Oh.
- Do you smell that?
Do you smell it, Jack?
- I, I sure do.
- Do you know what
that smell is?
- Do you have to touch me
every time we interact?
- Has she blinked?
- I don't know.
You've been watching
just as long as I have.
- Yeah, but you're closer.
- Maybe she's not real.
- I'm so sorry.
I really didn't know this
is what he was doing.
- Why?
This is going to be such
an amazing experience.
- Jack, you're so tense.
I can't wait to see what
this week holds for you.
You'll never be the same.
Top bunk.
- Hello Tuckers.
Whoa, whoa.
He's friendly.
I'm so sorry.
- Everyone, this
is Dr. Bill Owens,
he's the family therapist
that the camp has given us
for the week while we're here.
Are you okay?
- Oh, not a problem.
I've got the larynx
of a man much younger.
Good evening, ladies
and gentlemen,
my name is Dr. Bill
Reginald Owens the third,
and I will be your family
therapist assigned to you
while you're here.
- I'm sorry, are we just
gonna gloss over the fact
that he tricked us into therapy?
- Dad, I had to use the rest
of my vacation days for this.
- This will be worth it.
- Of course.
I'm the bad guy.
- How could you not be the
bad guy in this scenario?
You told us you wanted
to spend some time
together as a family.
- Technically, we are
still together as family.
- You might want to
rethink that one.
- Okay.
Did I stretch the truth
to get you all here?
Yes.
But it was for a good reason.
Jack, you're livin' the same life
you were as a six year old.
Blake and Sarah raise their
child like a cartoon character.
- Sarah and I would appreciate
if you called him Ethan
every once in a while.
- Well, I would...
Where is he anyway?
- Shoot.
- Dang it.
- Joel, you got engaged,
and you didn't even
bother to ask me.
- And all of these things we
coulda worked out as a family
had you ever brought them up.
- Not every nice.
- Yes, I lied.
But we're here now.
Can we just make the best of it?
- I'm not staying.
- Yeah, I don't want Alexa
to have to be a part of this.
- If you two insist
on getting married,
she's gonna be a
part of this family
whether she likes it or not.
And I hid Blake's keys,
and there's no cell coverage
for at least a mile.
- Kids, your father's an idiot.
- Yeah.
- But he makes a decent point.
I think it could
do us some good.
- I must say, that was wildly
uncomfortable to watch.
I wish I had left
several minutes ago,
but never fear,
I'm an excellent mechanic.
Of hearts.
Your unity costumes
are in that tub.
Don't show up to your
session without them.
- Did he say costume?
- And how are we
all doing today?
Good, your first exercise
will be one in empathy,
which I like to call hot tomato.
How it works is that
one family member
steps barefoot into
that metal hood
that has been
sitting in the sun,
and as soon as
that family member
places both feet on the hood,
another family member
may leave their post
and take their place.
Any questions?
- Where did you say that
accent was from, Dr. Owens?
- Yeah, it's interesting.
- I hail from Scotland
yard, sir and madam.
- Like the prison?
- Ah, of course not.
My father used to
call our front yard
Scotland yard.
- So you're from Scotland?
- London.
Richard, would you like to
lead your family and go first?
- Yeah.
- And go.
All right, please place
both feet on the hood.
Any family member may
take his place now.
- No.
He brought this upon himself.
- All right.
That went quicker
than anticipated.
Your next session won't
be for an hour or so.
I'll be in my dormitory.
- Should I bring
Mr. Tucker a plate?
- Pay no attention to the
jerk behind the curtain, hon.
- Napkin?
- Under the potato salad.
- Awe, is this the last one?
- Mom, I hate Blake's wife.
- I'm sure the feeling's mutual.
Would you please
go find some more?
- Where?
- I don't know.
Ask one of the staff.
The least they can do is lend
a few prisoners some napkins.
- I did this for our own good.
- Jack, go.
- I need napkins.
- Second door to the left.
- Now right over here
is our BB gun range
where we expel violence.
Hey, is that Jack
Tucker I see in there?
- Run.
Jack Tucker,
I love hide and seek.
I'm gonna get ya.
I'm gonna get ya,
I'm gonna get...
- Hi Jack.
And your face.
- How do you know my name?
- The walls are paper
thin around here.
Is that Jack Tucker I
see in there?
- The camera girl, right?
What are the heck are
you doin' in here?
- Now, now, scaredy
cat, no need to be rude.
- Me rude?
If I was pregnant, we'd
both be parents right now.
- What?
- I can't feel my legs.
Can you feel my legs?
- Breathe, Jack.
You're so weird.
- Actually, I'm Lydia.
- I'm gonna need to
change my shorts.
- Well, Jack, it was
really nice to meet you,
but since you're about as
subtle as a hand grenade,
I'm gonna have to keep moving.
- What are you hiding from?
- What's wrong with your face?
- Did I not get it all?
- I think he means the smile.
- What?
Shut up.
- Welcome everyone.
I trust you had no trouble
finding me this morning.
Your exercise today will
be one in confrontation.
I need Richard and Mary
to step into the
clearing of feelings.
Now, once you're
in the clearing,
you must express
your true feelings
towards the other person.
- I feel agitated at the
very sight of my husband.
- You've played already!
Well then, let's get started.
Here are your fighting sticks.
- And what do we need
fighting sticks for?
- I need you to step
on that platform,
and after every feeling
one party discloses,
they can take a
swing at the other
and attempt to knock them
off of their platform.
- The heck was that for?
- I already told
you the sight of you
makes me wanna vomit.
- Agitated was the
actual word you used.
- I'm not gonna hit my wife.
- The fighting sticks are
perfectly safe, I assure you.
I triple double
taped them myself.
- I can't stand how you
make everything my fault.
- You take no responsibility
in the raising of our family.
- You are an ungrateful
piece of work.
How do you stay up
on these things?
- Ballet, ages three to 10.
- That was like 40 years ago.
Shoot.
- Mary wins!
That was amazing, wasn't it?
Now, I have Jack and Sarah next.
- Yes.
- No, Sarah's not gonna compete.
- It is required.
- So, we have an announcement.
We are pregnant again.
- So you were getting fatter!
Not the face, not the face.
- Hormones.
- Oh, yep.
- What are you guys doing?
- Nothing, Mom.
- I thought I told you I
didn't want you guys messing
with anybody while we were here.
Who's this for?
- Dad.
- Okay, love you guys.
- Sssh, here he comes.
Let's see who's got
the wet sheets now.
- All right, gather
around everyone.
- Can I say something please?
I got like two hours
of sleep last night,
'cause this savage wild animal
was crouching around
outside my door
'til like five o'clock
in the morning.
- Battery must have died.
- I stayed awake all night
so you could sleep safely.
So between staring death
in the face for all of you,
these huge raw blisters
I used to call my feet,
and the complete disregard
for my manhood yesterday,
I think I've been
punished enough
for trickin' all
of you into this.
So could we be please,
for the love of the beast
that I've fought
with my bare hands,
move on and do this correctly?
- Thanks for that
sacrifice, Dad.
I've heard that there's some
really vicious animals
around these parts.
- You have no idea, Blake.
- Alright, looks like
you're ready to get started.
Your exercise today will
be for couples only.
So grandpa and Jack, you
can either sit this one out,
or partner with each other.
Full disclosure, there will
be some physical contact
of the mouth region required.
- See ya!
- I'm gonna go take my
nephew somewhere less gross.
- All right, suit yourselves,
you antisocial... ants!
So, who's ever tried coed
fire breathing before?
- You can trust Uncle Jack.
Throwin' rocks in fun.
You know what, I
think that's enough.
- Are you following me?
- In life or on the internet?
- Or you're witty?
It's tough to pick up on that
when you are screaming
like a little girl
who just saw the boogeyman.
- Really?
And what's your name?
- Not a fan of creepers.
Are you, Ethan?
- Well, this is nice.
You have the whole
beach to yourself.
Are you enjoying
your family therapy?
- Oh, it makes my wildest dreams
look like crayon drawings.
You?
- Oh, I'm not here for therapy.
- You're here for fun?
- No, my grandpa owns the camp.
I like to come up here when
I can and take pictures.
- So that would make
you Lydia Johnson.
- Born and raised.
- So what's the story
behind this place?
- Well, the property's
been in my family forever,
but it used to be
just empty land
that they would
hunt and fish on.
- Yeah, but where did
the whole therapy,
prison camp idea come from?
- Well, when my
grandpa was a boy,
they were having some issues,
so great grandpa brought
everybody out here
with literally just the
clothes on their backs.
They had to build their
own weapons and shelter.
You name it.
The second night, great grandpa
put a spear through
a wild boar's head,
or something weird like that,
and took it back to the camp,
and everyone was so hungry
and the complaining
just kind of stopped.
I guess at some
point they figured
it'd be a good idea to
offer other families
the same experience.
- So they literally
came out here
for an entire
month with nothing?
- Mm-hmm.
Great Grandpa Boar,
as we called him,
always used to say, "If we can
survive for a month in here,
"we'll thrive for a
lifetime out there."
I mean, the whole
point of this place
is to survive together.
That's why the
therapist is optional.
- I thought the camp
supplied the therapist.
- No, you have to hire
your own if you want one.
Most people just do
what your family did
and have a family friend
come facilitate things.
Thanks Ethan.
Follow me.
- What are you
thinking of doing?
- A brilliant woman once said,
a human ought not
tell their thoughts
when the opportunity
arises to show them.
- Who said that?
- I did.
- But who said it originally?
- I did.
Come on!
- No, I can't leave Ethan.
Bring him.
- I didn't bring Ethan's
flotation diapers.
- It's like three
feet deep, sissy.
- You think I should?
You really are a brilliant man.
Whoa
We'll never be the same
Whoa
Whoa
You are letting
down those walls
And I know that I
will never be the same
You have opened up that heart
And I promise I
won't let it go to waste
'Cause you are more
than what I bargained for
Yeah, you are more
than what I bargained for
Oh no!
And that's for sure
- I'm gonna tag you.
- So he says to me,
extra ham, please.
- Hey Jack.
Nice timing, we were
just sittin' down to eat.
- You guys are different.
- Coed fire breathing was
actually a lot of fun.
- Yeah, at one
point, Alexa coughed
and I almost lost an eyebrow.
- Where have you been?
- Why's my child soaking wet?
- I took Ethan to the beach,
we built a sand castle.
I met the owner's daughter.
- Is she cute?
Sorry, none of my business.
- She's actually
very cute, Alexa.
More importantly, she knows all
the ins and outs of the camp,
so she was able to give me
some very useful information
about the whole therapy process.
Like where you therapists
comes from, stuff like that.
- So did you learn
anything interesting?
- Hmm.
It's been in her
family for generations.
- Could you please pass the
wister sister shire sauce?
- Well hello, Tuckers.
- Jerry.
- Your outfits are adorable.
My cat has one just like it.
- What, you know this guy?
- I accidentally took
the last pudding cup
at lunch the other day,
and he won't let it go.
- You saw me reaching for it.
You acted out of malice.
- I offered it to you as
soon as I saw you wanted it.
- I can still smell the
pudding on your breath.
- Doesn't he remind
you of Aunt Thelma?
- Fredericks!
Prepare for battle!
- All right, Tuckers.
Huddle up.
The game today is
elimination tug of war.
If you fall into the mud
pit, you're eliminated
and your team has
one less player.
- Just tug of war?
What's the catch?
- They are much
stronger than you.
All right, on three.
One, two, three.
Tucker Tigers!
- Three,
two,
one.
Go!
- Tuckers!
We
are
one!
Take it easy Fred.
- Fred Fredericks?
- Yeah, rough right?
- So, you did good today.
- Yeah, you did too.
- You did especially
well though.
You took charge.
Led the family.
Those strong arms.
Meet me in the bus in an hour.
- Why?
Kids, your mom's not
feeling too well,
so I'm taking care
of her for a while.
They've got food and ice
cream in the cafeteria.
Get whatever you want!
- I can help, Mr. Tucker.
- No, sorry, thanks.
I don't want anyone
else getting sick.
- Okay, breathe Mary.
This is not that unusual.
He's your husband.
It hasn't been...
That long?
This is like my wedding
night all over again.
At least I'm not
pregnant this time.
438...
- Hey, do you guys got
a bathroom around here?
- Yeah, in the back.
You're not making a
bomb with that, are you?
- What?
No.
- It's just...
My manager told me, and
he was very specific,
if this ever happened again,
I'd have to remove his shoe
from my behind.
- I'm not makin' a bomb.
Are we good?
- It's just that...
He's got really
large feet.
- I'm not makin' a bomb!
- Do you want a bag
for your bomb parts?
- Yes.
Where did all
these wrinkles come from?
I look like I need
to iron my face.
- Well, hello Mary, I didn't
see you standing there.
- I literally couldn't hate
anything more than my lips.
- What, these old things?
Nah.
- Is that a birth mark?
When the heck did
that get there?
- So, you guys know that
mom's not really sick, right?
- Blake, what the heck?
I'm eating.
- I'm sorry, I just
wanted to make sure
everybody stayed
away for a while.
- Must be working for 'em then.
Didn't tug of war get
you guys so stoked
for the obstacle
course tomorrow?
- Hi Jack!
- Is that the girl you
were talking about?
- Yeah.
- Whoa Jack, way
out of your league.
- Why do you guys always
talk to each other like that?
I'm serious, knock it off.
- I'm sorry, geez.
Are you
gonna ask her out?
- No.
- What, why not?
- She gave you a very
sweet smile, Jack.
- I don't know.
I'm not ready.
- Jack, bogus.
You can't keep using
that same excuse.
Look at me.
Not all women are like Hannah.
Say it with me.
Not all women...
Say it.
- Not all women are like Hannah.
- They're not all gonna
rip your heart out.
I love you like my
literal second half.
Look at me.
Jackie, you gotta take a
chance at some point.
- She did kind of give you a
smile.
- Jack, Jack, Jack,
Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack...
Jack, Jack,
Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack,
Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack,
Jack, Jack, Jack...
- Would you guys
keep it down, please?
- How do I look?
Wish me whatever
this is gonna take.
Hi.
Two,
three.
- Sweet Moses, Richard.
This is goin' way
better than I expected.
The way I see it, not only
will you get the promotion,
but your family will
be better than ever.
Well crikey, Mrs. Tucker,
I must be at the
wrong camp site.
I was actually looking
for a different...
- Drop the accent.
What promotion?
- I told you I'm at the wrong...
- Talk.
- I just don't understand
why we have to invite
all these people
we don't even know
to watch us get married.
It's like we're
fish in an aquarium.
- And that, dear boy,
is why you are not
planning the wedding.
Can you pass me my water?
- It's just such a hassle.
- Then why'd you propose?
- Stop, you're gonna
get all the food wet.
- Come on!
- What are you doing?
Live a little.
- I prefer to live
dry when I'm clothed.
- That's what makes it fun.
- Lydia, come down.
Lydia?
Lydia?
Lydia?
Help!
Help!
Help!
That's my fiance.
- Ma'am, I need
you to lay still.
She
didn't know it was you?
- Does it matter?
It's starting to rain, doc.
Looks like your sun roof's open.
My car
doesn't have a sun roof, Jack.
- Your windows are down.
Jack,
it's perfectly natural
to feel apprehensive about
discussing these things.
No one likes rejection.
- I just don't want
your seats to get wet.
- Ready or not, here I come!
What are you doing?
I'm leaving, Richard.
- What?
No, no, no no no.
What are you talking about?
- Bill came by
to congratulate you
on how well
everything was going.
- It's not what it sounds like.
- So, this was really all a lie?
You did this all
for a promotion?
- Of course not.
- One time, Richard!
For once, please,
do me the courtesy
of telling me the truth.
- It wasn't just that.
It's...
It's everything.
I thought you were leaving me.
- This was never
about losing me.
This was about you,
proving you could fix us.
- It was about removing
some of the stress.
- I'm supposed to be
the love of your life, Richard.
Do you have any idea
what that means?
- You are.
- Even after all this,
you can't tell me
that you love me.
- Jack, hey.
What were you doing
at the dock earlier?
- My brother wants to start
a rock collection for
Ethan, so I was...
- Oh, he's your nephew?
- Yeah.
Glad you're okay though.
Heard it was a close call.
- Yeah.
Yeah, I'm lucky to be alive.
Quick thinking on
Brent's part I guess.
So you're leaving?
- Yeah, I just checked us out.
I guess this week didn't exactly
go the way we thought it would.
Actually, it's gone,
it's gone exactly the
way we thought it would.
You're engaged.
- Yeah.
- Awesome.
You um...
You don't wear a ring.
- Yeah.
No.
It wasn't a good fit.
I sent it in a few
weeks ago to be resized,
and they lost it and
the replacement ring
was turning my finger green.
It was a mess.
What?
- Nothing.
- What?
- Nothing.
It was nice meeting you.
Stay out of the
water for a while.
I wish you and the
skipper all the best.
- Rich, I'm really sorry.
- It's not your fault, Bill.
- I've been reading a
lot of this Freud stuff.
You know, for my character.
Come to find out, it's
all your mom's fault.
Who would have thought?
Who would have thought?
Don't close your eyes
And don't fall asleep
'Cause you were made to dream
And don't turn your head
And don't run away
'Cause you were made
for great things
- God can save you from
anything but yourself.
- What does that mean?!
What if I'm just a mess?
What if I can't be saved?
Huh?
I don't understand how you
could go through your whole life
so selfless,
and I still end up like me.
Leave needy hearts in...
And all our ambitions
They steal our intentions
We scar those that
need us the most
Oh we cut down and rob
all their hopes
Whoa
Whoa whoa
Whoa, whoa whoa
Whoa
Whoa, whoa whoa
Whoa, oh oh
Whoa, oh, oh
Oh
So don't close your eyes
And don't fall asleep
'Cause you were made to dream.
- I thought you were a taxi.
- If I had a nickel...
- Why?
- Do you know that I love you?
Do you trust me?
Mary, when your mother left,
I couldn't breathe.
It was like...
It was like all the air in
the room just followed her.
I didn't think I could
go on after that.
Later that evening, I
went into your room,
and you looked up at me
with those big blue eyes,
and said, "Daddy,
will you still love me
"even though Mommy's not here?"
By the standards of that day,
your mother had
every right to leave.
I was inconsistent,
I was insecure,
and I didn't show her the
love that she deserves.
Does that sound like
anyone you know?
- He doesn't
deserve this family.
- No.
No, he doesn't.
By the standards of today,
you have every right to leave.
But I guess, I just look
out at the world sometimes
and wonder if those
are the standards
we should be holding
ourselves to.
I wonder if anyone
of us has the right
to make those
types of decisions.
I just think we should all know
second chances exist.
- You don't have
to sneak around.
She's not here.
Wow, you're seriously just gonna
take your stuff and leave?
- I don't want to cause
any more problems.
- You're a coward.
- I tried, Jack.
- For four days.
What about the 25
years before that?
- Look, when your
grandpa died...
- Oh!
My grandpa was a great man!
Everyone he has ever
known has told me that.
You've used his death as an
excuse for your laziness
my entire life.
No.
What I'm asking is
if you have the guts
to fight for something
that at the very least
you used to believe in?
- I don't know
how anymore, Jack.
I really don't.
- Do you still love
my little girl?
- Yeah.
- Say it.
- I love your daughter.
- Do you wanna win her back?
- I don't know how.
- Do you want to win her back?
- Yeah.
- You don't deserve her.
- I know.
- We've got some ideas.
Jack.
- Can I show you something?
Sit.
This is the story
of how a young man
fell in love with a young woman.
And eventually, how a young
woman fell in love as well.
The year was 1986.
It was their first
semester of college,
and they were both
incredibly nervous.
- This place makes
me so nervous.
I am just a small town boy.
- I wonder if I'll
ever find a man
as wonderful as my father.
- I may have added that in.
Eventually boy met girl
and they fell in love.
Girl's father could see that
boy loved her very much,
and even though girl's
father hated his stupid hair,
and pansy green pickup truck,
he gave permission to
ask her to marry him.
Girl, however, said no.
Awe!
- Boy was...
- I am crushed!
Sorry.
- Boy was crushed.
Yet somehow boy managed
to win her back.
Boy refused to say what
he did to win her back,
so we're assuming
it was pretty mushy.
They got married,
and less than nine
months later, came twins.
- Mama!
- Taking care of fraternal
twins is no easy task,
no matter your age.
So boy and girl had to leave
college for the time being,
and focus on raising
their family.
Boy got a job fixing cars,
and girl got the job
of eventually raising
three terrorizing boys.
Life went by, and boy and
girl seemed to drift apart.
Boy had a crazy
hair-brained idea
involving his
family that ended up
blowing up in his
face as expected.
And here we are.
- Where's Richard?
- I'm right here.
- Why weren't you in it?
- I'm guess I'm more of a
behind the scenes type guy.
- Don't you think
that's the problem?
- You didn't like it?
- No, I loved it.
My Dad, our boys,
our daughter in law,
our future daughter in law.
They all did fantastic.
But none of them
needed to win me over.
- But I wrote it.
- We wrote it.
Don't you know my dear
That you're
the one I love?
And don't you
know my love
That your fears
break my heart?
So hold me
Don't let me fall apart
Know me
Remember who I was
Don't you know my dear
That you're the one I love.
And don't you know my love
That your fears break my heart.
I wanna hold you
- Don't hurt me.
I won't let you fall apart.
Let me know you
- I'm trying.
Remember who we were
Don't leave me
- That's what he did, Dad.
- Mary, I know I
don't deserve this,
but I'm asking for
another chance.
- Where did that come from?
Isn't that yours?
- We decided that
it's probably best
to wait a little while longer.
We're not in a rush.
- Plus Dad gave me like
three times what I
paid for it, so...
- Had to be done.
- Did you say three?
- Yes, I will.
- And then they slobbered on
one another, and here we are.
So what now?
- I don't know.
I have to move out,
that's for sure.
And Lydia?
- What about her?
Have you thought about
trying to find her?
- There's gotta be more than
one girl out there, doc.
That's a very
good attitude to have, Jack.
Stay optimistic.
- That this day is
actually happening.
It's so great to
see Aunt Thelma.
- And then she says to me,
"Please, give me back my dog."
May the best man win!
- So you are following me?
- What are you doing here?
- Oh, just coming
to take pictures
of the man who saved my life.
I'm the wedding photographer.
- Of course you are.
- So, how have you been?
- Good.
You?
- Really?
Wow, thank you for
being so specific.
- I am, I am.
I'm working with my Dad, I'm
finally finishing up school.
What about you?
How's married life treating you?
Got any kids yet?
- Yep, four boys.
Your face is priceless.
No, I didn't end
up getting married.
- Interesting.
Why is that?
- Oh, not because of you or
anything, that's for sure.
No, I guess I didn't wanna
see the signs at first,
then I got home the next day
and my dog had eaten about
half of my wedding dress,
and had to have
his stomach pumped.
- I am so sorry.
- You know, girls
just like to know
they're gonna be taken care of.
That he's always gonna
come to the rescue.
- One sec.
Hello.
No, that's fine.
Yep.
Okay.
Love you too.
Bye.
- Your girlfriend?
- Fiance.
I'm just kidding,
it was my cousin.
- Very clever.
- Okay, here it is.
It's been well over a year,
and I still find you
intriguing.
- And attractive.
Don't forget attractive.
- Is it safe to say, based on
the kicked puppy expression
you just gave,
that you feel the same?
- Maybe.
- All right, never mind.
- Okay, wait, yes.
- Say you find me intriguing.
- I find you intriguing.
- And attractive.
Don't forget attractive.
- And mildly attractive.
- What do you say,
what do you say
we do this right?
A real date sometime.
- I'd like that.
- Who is this, Jack?
- This is my friend,
Lydia, Grandpa.
No, we really are just
friends right now,
but we are
fond of each other.
No, Grandpa, we're
fond of each...
Fondling, fondling.
So a date sometime.
- A date sometime.
- Anyone who knows me,
knows I haven't always been
the poster child for marriage.
I've lived most of my life not
bein' the greatest husband,
or father for that matter.
However, through
an extraordinary,
strange series of events,
about a year and a half ago,
a series of events
that truly made Alexa
a part of this family,
I learned something
life changing.
I believe there's a
running joke in this world
that says love is a pursuit
that is accomplished
on your wedding day.
Well, it's not.
Love is a constant pursuit.
The feelings of this
day, Joel And Alexa,
they will fade.
One morning you're
going wake up,
and you're not gonna feel
like loving that person,
but that's what you've
agreed to do here today.
You've agreed that every
morning you wake up,
that you'll make the
choice to love that person,
whether you want to or not.
And whether or not
they deserve it.
Because, if you don't Joel,
I'm gonna punch
you in the mouth.
Let's do this.
- What do you think?
Pretty good, right?
Yes, Jack.
She's even prettier
than you described.
- I know, right!
So much better in person.
- I'm Lydia.
- Yeah, she is.
So how's
everything going, Jack?
It's been a while.
- Good, it's been really good.
My Dad finally decided
to take the offer
to take over the camp.
Oh, that's great.
- Yeah, yeah, we've
all been working there
probably a year now, somewhere
in there, about a year.
Is work the right word?
- That's not how this works.
You keep your shoes on.
Is
there anything else?
- No.
Don't.
If you love me
you won't say anything.
- I'm sorry.
Yes, actually.
Last week we got engaged.
Oh, congratulations.
- Thank you, we're very excited.
Unfortunately, when we went
to go tell his parents,
we ran into a little
bit of a problem.
- Dad paint the house?
- You seriously couldn't
find any other shoes to wear?
- Don't try to change me.
Just love me.
- Miss Tucker, I
forgot to pay my bill.
- Breathe, babe.
- You just can't
unsee that, doc.
You just can't.
said before Mr. Tucker,
I'm no stranger to people
who don't want to
sit in that seat.
Why are you doing that?
- You keep calling
me Mr. Tucker.
My name's Jack.
That's right, I'm sorry,
Mr. Tucker is your father.
Are you currently seeing anyone?
- Do you guys serve food here?
Like, do you ever feed us?
No, we don't.
- You, you could, you know.
Jack.
- You could do better
than that, like.
Are you
going to answer my question?
- Like just, like I'm
not even asking for much
just like a snack, just
like something to nibble on
while you grill me
through this...
I
have some rice crackers.
- That would literally
probably kill me.
Not that you care.
Jack, I
think it's time we talked about
why you're here.
Can you tell me
in your case what
malicious destruction
of property is?
- An over reaction?
Why do
you think you're here then?
- You looked lonely.
That's very funny.
- You didn't laugh.
It
wasn't that funny.
Would you mind telling
me what happened?
- It's kind of a long story.
It's
kind of a long session.
- It was Fourth of July weekend.
Oh man he is gonna kill you.
- I'm not tellin' him, you were
supposed to be watchin' him.
- He's your kid.
- You have got to be kidding me.
Why does your child refuse
to act like a human being?
- I thought Jack
was watchin' him.
- No, no excuses,
Blake he is two now,
he will be prefect
or he will be shunned.
- I don't expect
him to be perfect.
I just don't expect to find my
car keys in the septic tank.
Is that really too much to ask?
- It was an accident, Dad.
- It's the third
time he's done it.
- Okay smart alecks laugh it up.
- It's funny.
- You know what else is funny?
My two oldest sons pawin'
through the septic tank
lookin' for my car keys.
I got one pair of gloves
and I'm givin' 'em to Joel.
- How do you expect
us to get 'em out?
- Well the first
time this happened,
I stuck one of those little
floater things on there so...
- Dad, I gave you
money to get a new set.
- And it was barely enough to
cover my emotional damages.
Get 'em out.
- You cannot be warped enough
to think we're actually
gonna do this,
that's ridiculous.
- You wanna know
what's ridiculous?
Your twin brother has a
job, a house and a child
while you the oldest
still live in a room
you wet your bed in.
- One time, I wet
the bed one time!
- I meant when you were a kid.
Why do you torture me?
I know you do these
things on purpose.
- Papa.
- Yeah, Papa, the same Papa
who's keys you flushed down
the toilet three times now.
They're gonna mess
you up so bad.
- Aside from forcing me to
grow a peach fuzz mustache
in the 10th grade this
is the dumbest thing
he's ever made me do.
- I thought you looked
good with the 'stache.
- Shut up.
- I did, it was distinguishing.
- You looked like Aunt Thelma.
- Your Highness.
Holy!
Flashlight.
- Do you see it?
- Middle right, green spot.
- Oh yeah.
- So, I was gonna
propose tonight?
- Why?
- You and Alexa?
Congrats, man.
- Thanks.
I didn't wanna spring it
on you guys when I did it,
and I could use your help.
- How long have you guys
even known each other?
- Three months today actually.
Do you have the ring?
- Yeah, I have it right here.
- Oh.
Yeah.
- You think maybe you
should put that away
so you don't have to explain
why her right hand always smells
so different from her left?
- Yeah, that's
probably a good idea.
- Yeah.
- Grandpa, will
you pass the beans?
- Turn your hearing
aid up, old timer.
- Karma.
- Shut up, Joel.
- Don't single him out.
- You can shut up too, Nancy.
Mr. Glassbrook, what
are you doin' here?
- That's no way to
welcome your boss.
You're fired.
- I am?
- No, of course not.
I was merely being playful.
Welcome me.
- Yes, welcome.
Sorry, it's just odd
to see you in my house.
- You think that's odd,
don't look in the
trunk of my car.
Come, Richard.
What a lovely place you have.
Nice and tiny.
Richard, could you please
have a seat on this cushion
directly adjacent
to that arm rest?
- Is everything okay?
You seem a little... warm.
- Of course.
It's just these darn
Norwegian pants.
Anyways, I have
written in my agenda
some matters of business
that we need to attend to.
Says here, how is your family?
It's great, why?
- Well, I'm not sure
of the correlation.
But at seven o'clock
my agenda says
that I'm supposed to ask
you about your family,
and then give you the
opportunity for a physical.
And what the agenda
says, we must do.
Would you happen to
have any rubber gloves?
Never mind.
I found my spare pair.
- Are you...
Are you sure that's
what that says?
- I am, indeed.
See here.
Let's see, seven o'clock.
Oh.
That's not what it says.
I'm to offer to a
fiscal opportunity.
Fiscal.
How about that?
Well, that makes
quite a bit more sense
to say the least.
Now, back to the
fiscal opportunity.
How would you like one
week paid vacation,
and the opportunity to be
promoted to shop foreman?
To Ted's Job?
I was recently
contacted by a man from
Johnson's Family
Unity Survival Camp.
He said that you been randomly
selected for a week long stay
for you and your
family, for free.
- So, it's a therapy camp?
Why would I be offered
a promotion for that?
- Because family is
important at Glassbrook's!
Glassbrooks has been
family owned and operated
for nearly 45 years.
Ted is planning on
retiring next month,
and I would like to
replace him with someone
I feel has initiative in
all the areas that count.
Well, there's nothing more
important to me than family.
- That's the spirit!
I'm gonna use your restroom.
Oh, Richard, if you do decide
that you want to do this,
and if at the end of the
week you or your family
hasn't completed the
course in its entirety,
I'll be forced to
terminate your employment.
Glassbrooks is no
place for quitters.
To the john!
Mmm.
- Your mother would be so proud.
What'd your boss want?
- Oh, he was just offering
me some vacation time.
And what the crap are
Joel and that girl doing?
- Her parents named her Alexa,
and he's proposing.
- Marriage?
- No, a dietary change.
- What are we doing?
- Just trust me.
- You knew about this?
- Of course.
- How come nobody told me?
- Why would they?
- Joel.
- Okay, stop.
Look around, babe.
No, no, I didn't say
take the blindfold off.
I said look around.
- How do you expect me to see
anything with a blindfold on?
- Exactly.
What you see right now
is exactly how I felt
before I met you.
It's what I feel when
you're not around.
I never wanna feel
that way again.
- This is bad.
Bad.
This is so bad.
Bad.
This is bad!
- So, Alexa Lynn Grainer.
- You just used my full name.
- Will you take the
blindfold off of both of us?
For good?
- Yes!
Can you do a pig?
- All right, Joel.
Go fireworks.
- I cannot believe she said yes.
- Ah, she's young.
She doesn't know what
she's saying yes to.
Right, babe?
- What have you been
feeding this kid?
- Right.
- The point is, Joel
just started college.
He has no idea what he's doing.
- And you do?
Dang it, I missed my cue.
- For what?
- You know I love you?
- You better.
I love you too.
Can I go show off my ring now?
- Sure.
- They have no idea what
I sacrificed for them.
Don't I owe it to myself
to get somethin' I want.
I mean...
- Rude, you can't
ask a man a question
and move on before
he can answer.
Were you raised by wolves?
- It was rhetorical.
- How could I have possibly
known that, Richard?
- Are you gonna listen or not?
- Yes.
Because that was a
well phrased question.
Dun dun dah dah!
Bill Owens and Richard Tucker
please report to Mr.
Glassbrooks' office.
What does
he want with me?
- Mr. Glassbrook.
- Gentlemen!
Richard.
Come, come, come, come.
Oh!
And...
Bill.
Now Richard, Richard.
I wanted to apologize for
the mix up we had last night.
You know, what the
agenda says, I do.
Due to a circumstance
much the same last week,
I rode my neighbors
dog bareback.
- There's really no apology
necessary, Mr. Glassbrook.
- Good.
It felt a bit much.
Please... remain standing.
Could you two please switch?
Just go ahead and switch
for me, thank you.
Oh, that was perfect, excellent.
Please, have a seat.
Bill, could you please
put your left leg up?
Thank you.
Richard, I also
wanted to give you
this pamphlet about the camp.
Apparently, you can
have a family friend
facilitate all of
your therapy sessions
and you wouldn't
even have to pay
for a licensed
therapist to come out.
I thought our friend Bill here
could help you and
your family out.
- I don't know how
to be a therapist.
- Nonsense, young man!
Your very voice is therapeutic.
Now Richard, what did your
family think about the idea?
- They were...
Very excited when you left.
- Excellent!
Ha-ha!
I love deliverin' smiles!
Now, Richard, I am so
excited about this.
Now, apparently, by
the end of the week,
in order to complete
the curriculum,
your family will have to do
some intensive obstacle course
that would make a
baby carrot smile.
That was the chair.
Back to work.
Let's go.
- Janet, bring me
my Wednesday pants.
- Who the heck are you?
- I'm the sink thief!
Woo!
I'm just kiddin', man.
I'm the plumber
your wife called.
I'm certified!
- You called a plumber?
- Yes.
- I fixed the sink last
night like I said I would.
- You did not fix the sink.
- Yes, I did.
- No, you fixed the
original problem
in your typical
duct tape fashion.
This morning the
water wouldn't stop.
At least before you touched it,
the kitchen didn't flood
every time someone
flushed the toilet.
- Here we go, typical Mary.
Everything Richard
does is wrong.
- Because you never
help this family
for the sake of helping.
You do it to prove
you can fix things.
You can't fix
everything, Richard.
You are just so good.
Mmm.
Who needs girls?
- That still doesn't
give you the right
to go behind my back.
- Well, I'm sorry Richard.
I'm sorry I'm the one that
had to have the sink fixed.
I'm sorry I'm the one
that handles the bills.
I'm sorry I'm the one
that's raised this family
for the last 25 years.
I'm truly, truly sorry.
I could retire early with
that job.
I could get a motorcycle.
- Bill, meet me at Nacho's.
- Okay! ...who is this?
You want me to therapist
your family, huh?
- Man, it's a lot of pressure.
- A lot of pressure for you?
Imagine if you were
in my boots, Richard.
Imagine some poor,
lonely man came along,
and asked you to
raise his child.
And not just the middle child.
Imagine he's trusting you
with the one he likes.
- Bill, nobody's asking
you to raise my kids.
It's one week.
If I did this you'd just
be an outside voice.
- I feel like
you're always using
your outside voice, Richard.
It's your inside voice
you need to be working on.
- I mean they need...
- Inside voice.
- I mean, maybe they
need to hear it from someone
other than me.
- As I've always said,
I've always thought of myself
as that rich classy
uncle to your kids.
You know, the kind
that drives fancy cars
and calls women dames.
Stuff like that.
- Bill, come here.
You never met my family.
This wouldn't work if you had.
- That doesn't mean I'm not
in their hearts, Richard.
I think deep down we've
all got a rich classy uncle
out there somewhere.
- Bill, I've got to do something
I vowed when I started college
that I would never let
a broad change my life.
- Broad is a classy word!
- And now, here I
am, 20 years later,
and I'm in the same job I was
when I dropped out of college.
I need to do this.
For me.
- All right, I've
got two questions.
A, are you positive this is
what's best for your family?
And C,
can a wear a cape?
I can wear a cape?
Woo, I can wear a cape!
Woo!
- No cape, man, no cape.
- I'm gonna do this, and
you're gonna help me.
- Okay, I can love the
middle child for a week.
- Thank you.
You're weird.
- Family vacation?
Yes.
- Like, all of us together?
- Yes.
- Why?
- Because I believe this
family deserves a break.
- Then why would we go together?
- Jack, don't be a pain.
Your father makes a good point.
- Thank you.
- I'm just not sure what
your motive is here.
- Nope, I'm completely
unmotivated.
I just realized I
haven't necessarily
been involved like I should,
and I wanted to make
it up to all of you.
- So, we're gonna go together?
So,
this vacation your father
took you on...
- He tricked us into therapy.
Right, sorry.
This therapy vacation
is where you met Lydia?
The girl with the
body of Hercules' wife
and eyes like ocean treasure.
- I never said that.
That's
what I have written.
- Doesn't sound like me.
But
this is where you met her?
- Can I tell the story, please?
Of course, Jack.
- Can't believe you
brought the bus.
- What are you talking about?
This thing's a classic.
Sorry.
- Name?
- Richard Tucker.
- Your last name was enough.
No need wasting breath.
- You know, I'm always on
him about wasting his breath.
I don't think he
fully realizes that
he's only got so many
left in his old age.
- Get out of my
face, wet sheets.
- Breath
mint.
- Well, you should fit right in.
Orientation starts at the
Wesley center in 10 minutes.
After that, you'll canoe to your
peace quarters.
Please sign this waiver
indicating that all
members of your party
as here of their own free will,
and releasing the camp from
all physical, emotional
or psychological damages you,
or members of your party
may accrue during your stay.
Can you just act like
an adult once in your life?
You're like a monkey.
- Seriously, everyone
just stop it!
- Hold this.
- What are you doing?
- You have a nice face.
- You just randomly
approach strangers
and take their picture?
- If they're not
completely hideous.
- You might wanna get a picture
of what's going on behind you.
- You guys know it looks
like you're making out
with each other, right?
- Thanks.
Enjoy your family therapy.
- Hello, hello, hello!
Welcome to Johnson's
Family Unity Survival Camp.
And welcome to a
life changing week
of family therapy.
- Of course.
- Uh-oh.
It looks like we have a
little bit of commotion
in the audience.
Sir, what's your name?
- Richard Tucker.
- Richard Tucker, tell
us why you're here.
- Because my family needs help.
- I think we need to
give Richard a good hand.
Admitting you have a
problem is the first step.
A matter of fact, let's all
gather around the Tucker family
and give them a Johnson
nonphysical encouragement hug.
- I knew it was too
good to be true.
You're sick, you know that?
- I didn't have a choice.
- Uh-oh, someone hasn't
entirely been honest, have they?
Son, what's your name?
- Jack.
- Jack Tucker, I
bet you are excited
about the survival
obstacle course
at the end of the
week, aren't ya?
What's that, Gary?
Great question, Jack.
The survival obstacle course,
otherwise known as the S.O.C.,
is the final session
of the program,
and it's gonna be especially
designed for the Tuckers
to show their family
unity once and for all.
Doesn't that get your
blood pumpin', Jack?
All right, Tucker family.
This next week is gonna...
Say it with me.
Change your life!
- So, is this your
first time at Johnson's?
- It would appear so.
- Why'd you decide to come?
- Because I'm hopelessly devoted
to seeing my family succeed.
- Oh.
- Do you smell that?
Do you smell it, Jack?
- I, I sure do.
- Do you know what
that smell is?
- Do you have to touch me
every time we interact?
- Has she blinked?
- I don't know.
You've been watching
just as long as I have.
- Yeah, but you're closer.
- Maybe she's not real.
- I'm so sorry.
I really didn't know this
is what he was doing.
- Why?
This is going to be such
an amazing experience.
- Jack, you're so tense.
I can't wait to see what
this week holds for you.
You'll never be the same.
Top bunk.
- Hello Tuckers.
Whoa, whoa.
He's friendly.
I'm so sorry.
- Everyone, this
is Dr. Bill Owens,
he's the family therapist
that the camp has given us
for the week while we're here.
Are you okay?
- Oh, not a problem.
I've got the larynx
of a man much younger.
Good evening, ladies
and gentlemen,
my name is Dr. Bill
Reginald Owens the third,
and I will be your family
therapist assigned to you
while you're here.
- I'm sorry, are we just
gonna gloss over the fact
that he tricked us into therapy?
- Dad, I had to use the rest
of my vacation days for this.
- This will be worth it.
- Of course.
I'm the bad guy.
- How could you not be the
bad guy in this scenario?
You told us you wanted
to spend some time
together as a family.
- Technically, we are
still together as family.
- You might want to
rethink that one.
- Okay.
Did I stretch the truth
to get you all here?
Yes.
But it was for a good reason.
Jack, you're livin' the same life
you were as a six year old.
Blake and Sarah raise their
child like a cartoon character.
- Sarah and I would appreciate
if you called him Ethan
every once in a while.
- Well, I would...
Where is he anyway?
- Shoot.
- Dang it.
- Joel, you got engaged,
and you didn't even
bother to ask me.
- And all of these things we
coulda worked out as a family
had you ever brought them up.
- Not every nice.
- Yes, I lied.
But we're here now.
Can we just make the best of it?
- I'm not staying.
- Yeah, I don't want Alexa
to have to be a part of this.
- If you two insist
on getting married,
she's gonna be a
part of this family
whether she likes it or not.
And I hid Blake's keys,
and there's no cell coverage
for at least a mile.
- Kids, your father's an idiot.
- Yeah.
- But he makes a decent point.
I think it could
do us some good.
- I must say, that was wildly
uncomfortable to watch.
I wish I had left
several minutes ago,
but never fear,
I'm an excellent mechanic.
Of hearts.
Your unity costumes
are in that tub.
Don't show up to your
session without them.
- Did he say costume?
- And how are we
all doing today?
Good, your first exercise
will be one in empathy,
which I like to call hot tomato.
How it works is that
one family member
steps barefoot into
that metal hood
that has been
sitting in the sun,
and as soon as
that family member
places both feet on the hood,
another family member
may leave their post
and take their place.
Any questions?
- Where did you say that
accent was from, Dr. Owens?
- Yeah, it's interesting.
- I hail from Scotland
yard, sir and madam.
- Like the prison?
- Ah, of course not.
My father used to
call our front yard
Scotland yard.
- So you're from Scotland?
- London.
Richard, would you like to
lead your family and go first?
- Yeah.
- And go.
All right, please place
both feet on the hood.
Any family member may
take his place now.
- No.
He brought this upon himself.
- All right.
That went quicker
than anticipated.
Your next session won't
be for an hour or so.
I'll be in my dormitory.
- Should I bring
Mr. Tucker a plate?
- Pay no attention to the
jerk behind the curtain, hon.
- Napkin?
- Under the potato salad.
- Awe, is this the last one?
- Mom, I hate Blake's wife.
- I'm sure the feeling's mutual.
Would you please
go find some more?
- Where?
- I don't know.
Ask one of the staff.
The least they can do is lend
a few prisoners some napkins.
- I did this for our own good.
- Jack, go.
- I need napkins.
- Second door to the left.
- Now right over here
is our BB gun range
where we expel violence.
Hey, is that Jack
Tucker I see in there?
- Run.
Jack Tucker,
I love hide and seek.
I'm gonna get ya.
I'm gonna get ya,
I'm gonna get...
- Hi Jack.
And your face.
- How do you know my name?
- The walls are paper
thin around here.
Is that Jack Tucker I
see in there?
- The camera girl, right?
What are the heck are
you doin' in here?
- Now, now, scaredy
cat, no need to be rude.
- Me rude?
If I was pregnant, we'd
both be parents right now.
- What?
- I can't feel my legs.
Can you feel my legs?
- Breathe, Jack.
You're so weird.
- Actually, I'm Lydia.
- I'm gonna need to
change my shorts.
- Well, Jack, it was
really nice to meet you,
but since you're about as
subtle as a hand grenade,
I'm gonna have to keep moving.
- What are you hiding from?
- What's wrong with your face?
- Did I not get it all?
- I think he means the smile.
- What?
Shut up.
- Welcome everyone.
I trust you had no trouble
finding me this morning.
Your exercise today will
be one in confrontation.
I need Richard and Mary
to step into the
clearing of feelings.
Now, once you're
in the clearing,
you must express
your true feelings
towards the other person.
- I feel agitated at the
very sight of my husband.
- You've played already!
Well then, let's get started.
Here are your fighting sticks.
- And what do we need
fighting sticks for?
- I need you to step
on that platform,
and after every feeling
one party discloses,
they can take a
swing at the other
and attempt to knock them
off of their platform.
- The heck was that for?
- I already told
you the sight of you
makes me wanna vomit.
- Agitated was the
actual word you used.
- I'm not gonna hit my wife.
- The fighting sticks are
perfectly safe, I assure you.
I triple double
taped them myself.
- I can't stand how you
make everything my fault.
- You take no responsibility
in the raising of our family.
- You are an ungrateful
piece of work.
How do you stay up
on these things?
- Ballet, ages three to 10.
- That was like 40 years ago.
Shoot.
- Mary wins!
That was amazing, wasn't it?
Now, I have Jack and Sarah next.
- Yes.
- No, Sarah's not gonna compete.
- It is required.
- So, we have an announcement.
We are pregnant again.
- So you were getting fatter!
Not the face, not the face.
- Hormones.
- Oh, yep.
- What are you guys doing?
- Nothing, Mom.
- I thought I told you I
didn't want you guys messing
with anybody while we were here.
Who's this for?
- Dad.
- Okay, love you guys.
- Sssh, here he comes.
Let's see who's got
the wet sheets now.
- All right, gather
around everyone.
- Can I say something please?
I got like two hours
of sleep last night,
'cause this savage wild animal
was crouching around
outside my door
'til like five o'clock
in the morning.
- Battery must have died.
- I stayed awake all night
so you could sleep safely.
So between staring death
in the face for all of you,
these huge raw blisters
I used to call my feet,
and the complete disregard
for my manhood yesterday,
I think I've been
punished enough
for trickin' all
of you into this.
So could we be please,
for the love of the beast
that I've fought
with my bare hands,
move on and do this correctly?
- Thanks for that
sacrifice, Dad.
I've heard that there's some
really vicious animals
around these parts.
- You have no idea, Blake.
- Alright, looks like
you're ready to get started.
Your exercise today will
be for couples only.
So grandpa and Jack, you
can either sit this one out,
or partner with each other.
Full disclosure, there will
be some physical contact
of the mouth region required.
- See ya!
- I'm gonna go take my
nephew somewhere less gross.
- All right, suit yourselves,
you antisocial... ants!
So, who's ever tried coed
fire breathing before?
- You can trust Uncle Jack.
Throwin' rocks in fun.
You know what, I
think that's enough.
- Are you following me?
- In life or on the internet?
- Or you're witty?
It's tough to pick up on that
when you are screaming
like a little girl
who just saw the boogeyman.
- Really?
And what's your name?
- Not a fan of creepers.
Are you, Ethan?
- Well, this is nice.
You have the whole
beach to yourself.
Are you enjoying
your family therapy?
- Oh, it makes my wildest dreams
look like crayon drawings.
You?
- Oh, I'm not here for therapy.
- You're here for fun?
- No, my grandpa owns the camp.
I like to come up here when
I can and take pictures.
- So that would make
you Lydia Johnson.
- Born and raised.
- So what's the story
behind this place?
- Well, the property's
been in my family forever,
but it used to be
just empty land
that they would
hunt and fish on.
- Yeah, but where did
the whole therapy,
prison camp idea come from?
- Well, when my
grandpa was a boy,
they were having some issues,
so great grandpa brought
everybody out here
with literally just the
clothes on their backs.
They had to build their
own weapons and shelter.
You name it.
The second night, great grandpa
put a spear through
a wild boar's head,
or something weird like that,
and took it back to the camp,
and everyone was so hungry
and the complaining
just kind of stopped.
I guess at some
point they figured
it'd be a good idea to
offer other families
the same experience.
- So they literally
came out here
for an entire
month with nothing?
- Mm-hmm.
Great Grandpa Boar,
as we called him,
always used to say, "If we can
survive for a month in here,
"we'll thrive for a
lifetime out there."
I mean, the whole
point of this place
is to survive together.
That's why the
therapist is optional.
- I thought the camp
supplied the therapist.
- No, you have to hire
your own if you want one.
Most people just do
what your family did
and have a family friend
come facilitate things.
Thanks Ethan.
Follow me.
- What are you
thinking of doing?
- A brilliant woman once said,
a human ought not
tell their thoughts
when the opportunity
arises to show them.
- Who said that?
- I did.
- But who said it originally?
- I did.
Come on!
- No, I can't leave Ethan.
Bring him.
- I didn't bring Ethan's
flotation diapers.
- It's like three
feet deep, sissy.
- You think I should?
You really are a brilliant man.
Whoa
We'll never be the same
Whoa
Whoa
You are letting
down those walls
And I know that I
will never be the same
You have opened up that heart
And I promise I
won't let it go to waste
'Cause you are more
than what I bargained for
Yeah, you are more
than what I bargained for
Oh no!
And that's for sure
- I'm gonna tag you.
- So he says to me,
extra ham, please.
- Hey Jack.
Nice timing, we were
just sittin' down to eat.
- You guys are different.
- Coed fire breathing was
actually a lot of fun.
- Yeah, at one
point, Alexa coughed
and I almost lost an eyebrow.
- Where have you been?
- Why's my child soaking wet?
- I took Ethan to the beach,
we built a sand castle.
I met the owner's daughter.
- Is she cute?
Sorry, none of my business.
- She's actually
very cute, Alexa.
More importantly, she knows all
the ins and outs of the camp,
so she was able to give me
some very useful information
about the whole therapy process.
Like where you therapists
comes from, stuff like that.
- So did you learn
anything interesting?
- Hmm.
It's been in her
family for generations.
- Could you please pass the
wister sister shire sauce?
- Well hello, Tuckers.
- Jerry.
- Your outfits are adorable.
My cat has one just like it.
- What, you know this guy?
- I accidentally took
the last pudding cup
at lunch the other day,
and he won't let it go.
- You saw me reaching for it.
You acted out of malice.
- I offered it to you as
soon as I saw you wanted it.
- I can still smell the
pudding on your breath.
- Doesn't he remind
you of Aunt Thelma?
- Fredericks!
Prepare for battle!
- All right, Tuckers.
Huddle up.
The game today is
elimination tug of war.
If you fall into the mud
pit, you're eliminated
and your team has
one less player.
- Just tug of war?
What's the catch?
- They are much
stronger than you.
All right, on three.
One, two, three.
Tucker Tigers!
- Three,
two,
one.
Go!
- Tuckers!
We
are
one!
Take it easy Fred.
- Fred Fredericks?
- Yeah, rough right?
- So, you did good today.
- Yeah, you did too.
- You did especially
well though.
You took charge.
Led the family.
Those strong arms.
Meet me in the bus in an hour.
- Why?
Kids, your mom's not
feeling too well,
so I'm taking care
of her for a while.
They've got food and ice
cream in the cafeteria.
Get whatever you want!
- I can help, Mr. Tucker.
- No, sorry, thanks.
I don't want anyone
else getting sick.
- Okay, breathe Mary.
This is not that unusual.
He's your husband.
It hasn't been...
That long?
This is like my wedding
night all over again.
At least I'm not
pregnant this time.
438...
- Hey, do you guys got
a bathroom around here?
- Yeah, in the back.
You're not making a
bomb with that, are you?
- What?
No.
- It's just...
My manager told me, and
he was very specific,
if this ever happened again,
I'd have to remove his shoe
from my behind.
- I'm not makin' a bomb.
Are we good?
- It's just that...
He's got really
large feet.
- I'm not makin' a bomb!
- Do you want a bag
for your bomb parts?
- Yes.
Where did all
these wrinkles come from?
I look like I need
to iron my face.
- Well, hello Mary, I didn't
see you standing there.
- I literally couldn't hate
anything more than my lips.
- What, these old things?
Nah.
- Is that a birth mark?
When the heck did
that get there?
- So, you guys know that
mom's not really sick, right?
- Blake, what the heck?
I'm eating.
- I'm sorry, I just
wanted to make sure
everybody stayed
away for a while.
- Must be working for 'em then.
Didn't tug of war get
you guys so stoked
for the obstacle
course tomorrow?
- Hi Jack!
- Is that the girl you
were talking about?
- Yeah.
- Whoa Jack, way
out of your league.
- Why do you guys always
talk to each other like that?
I'm serious, knock it off.
- I'm sorry, geez.
Are you
gonna ask her out?
- No.
- What, why not?
- She gave you a very
sweet smile, Jack.
- I don't know.
I'm not ready.
- Jack, bogus.
You can't keep using
that same excuse.
Look at me.
Not all women are like Hannah.
Say it with me.
Not all women...
Say it.
- Not all women are like Hannah.
- They're not all gonna
rip your heart out.
I love you like my
literal second half.
Look at me.
Jackie, you gotta take a
chance at some point.
- She did kind of give you a
smile.
- Jack, Jack, Jack,
Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack...
Jack, Jack,
Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack,
Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack,
Jack, Jack, Jack...
- Would you guys
keep it down, please?
- How do I look?
Wish me whatever
this is gonna take.
Hi.
Two,
three.
- Sweet Moses, Richard.
This is goin' way
better than I expected.
The way I see it, not only
will you get the promotion,
but your family will
be better than ever.
Well crikey, Mrs. Tucker,
I must be at the
wrong camp site.
I was actually looking
for a different...
- Drop the accent.
What promotion?
- I told you I'm at the wrong...
- Talk.
- I just don't understand
why we have to invite
all these people
we don't even know
to watch us get married.
It's like we're
fish in an aquarium.
- And that, dear boy,
is why you are not
planning the wedding.
Can you pass me my water?
- It's just such a hassle.
- Then why'd you propose?
- Stop, you're gonna
get all the food wet.
- Come on!
- What are you doing?
Live a little.
- I prefer to live
dry when I'm clothed.
- That's what makes it fun.
- Lydia, come down.
Lydia?
Lydia?
Lydia?
Help!
Help!
Help!
That's my fiance.
- Ma'am, I need
you to lay still.
She
didn't know it was you?
- Does it matter?
It's starting to rain, doc.
Looks like your sun roof's open.
My car
doesn't have a sun roof, Jack.
- Your windows are down.
Jack,
it's perfectly natural
to feel apprehensive about
discussing these things.
No one likes rejection.
- I just don't want
your seats to get wet.
- Ready or not, here I come!
What are you doing?
I'm leaving, Richard.
- What?
No, no, no no no.
What are you talking about?
- Bill came by
to congratulate you
on how well
everything was going.
- It's not what it sounds like.
- So, this was really all a lie?
You did this all
for a promotion?
- Of course not.
- One time, Richard!
For once, please,
do me the courtesy
of telling me the truth.
- It wasn't just that.
It's...
It's everything.
I thought you were leaving me.
- This was never
about losing me.
This was about you,
proving you could fix us.
- It was about removing
some of the stress.
- I'm supposed to be
the love of your life, Richard.
Do you have any idea
what that means?
- You are.
- Even after all this,
you can't tell me
that you love me.
- Jack, hey.
What were you doing
at the dock earlier?
- My brother wants to start
a rock collection for
Ethan, so I was...
- Oh, he's your nephew?
- Yeah.
Glad you're okay though.
Heard it was a close call.
- Yeah.
Yeah, I'm lucky to be alive.
Quick thinking on
Brent's part I guess.
So you're leaving?
- Yeah, I just checked us out.
I guess this week didn't exactly
go the way we thought it would.
Actually, it's gone,
it's gone exactly the
way we thought it would.
You're engaged.
- Yeah.
- Awesome.
You um...
You don't wear a ring.
- Yeah.
No.
It wasn't a good fit.
I sent it in a few
weeks ago to be resized,
and they lost it and
the replacement ring
was turning my finger green.
It was a mess.
What?
- Nothing.
- What?
- Nothing.
It was nice meeting you.
Stay out of the
water for a while.
I wish you and the
skipper all the best.
- Rich, I'm really sorry.
- It's not your fault, Bill.
- I've been reading a
lot of this Freud stuff.
You know, for my character.
Come to find out, it's
all your mom's fault.
Who would have thought?
Who would have thought?
Don't close your eyes
And don't fall asleep
'Cause you were made to dream
And don't turn your head
And don't run away
'Cause you were made
for great things
- God can save you from
anything but yourself.
- What does that mean?!
What if I'm just a mess?
What if I can't be saved?
Huh?
I don't understand how you
could go through your whole life
so selfless,
and I still end up like me.
Leave needy hearts in...
And all our ambitions
They steal our intentions
We scar those that
need us the most
Oh we cut down and rob
all their hopes
Whoa
Whoa whoa
Whoa, whoa whoa
Whoa
Whoa, whoa whoa
Whoa, oh oh
Whoa, oh, oh
Oh
So don't close your eyes
And don't fall asleep
'Cause you were made to dream.
- I thought you were a taxi.
- If I had a nickel...
- Why?
- Do you know that I love you?
Do you trust me?
Mary, when your mother left,
I couldn't breathe.
It was like...
It was like all the air in
the room just followed her.
I didn't think I could
go on after that.
Later that evening, I
went into your room,
and you looked up at me
with those big blue eyes,
and said, "Daddy,
will you still love me
"even though Mommy's not here?"
By the standards of that day,
your mother had
every right to leave.
I was inconsistent,
I was insecure,
and I didn't show her the
love that she deserves.
Does that sound like
anyone you know?
- He doesn't
deserve this family.
- No.
No, he doesn't.
By the standards of today,
you have every right to leave.
But I guess, I just look
out at the world sometimes
and wonder if those
are the standards
we should be holding
ourselves to.
I wonder if anyone
of us has the right
to make those
types of decisions.
I just think we should all know
second chances exist.
- You don't have
to sneak around.
She's not here.
Wow, you're seriously just gonna
take your stuff and leave?
- I don't want to cause
any more problems.
- You're a coward.
- I tried, Jack.
- For four days.
What about the 25
years before that?
- Look, when your
grandpa died...
- Oh!
My grandpa was a great man!
Everyone he has ever
known has told me that.
You've used his death as an
excuse for your laziness
my entire life.
No.
What I'm asking is
if you have the guts
to fight for something
that at the very least
you used to believe in?
- I don't know
how anymore, Jack.
I really don't.
- Do you still love
my little girl?
- Yeah.
- Say it.
- I love your daughter.
- Do you wanna win her back?
- I don't know how.
- Do you want to win her back?
- Yeah.
- You don't deserve her.
- I know.
- We've got some ideas.
Jack.
- Can I show you something?
Sit.
This is the story
of how a young man
fell in love with a young woman.
And eventually, how a young
woman fell in love as well.
The year was 1986.
It was their first
semester of college,
and they were both
incredibly nervous.
- This place makes
me so nervous.
I am just a small town boy.
- I wonder if I'll
ever find a man
as wonderful as my father.
- I may have added that in.
Eventually boy met girl
and they fell in love.
Girl's father could see that
boy loved her very much,
and even though girl's
father hated his stupid hair,
and pansy green pickup truck,
he gave permission to
ask her to marry him.
Girl, however, said no.
Awe!
- Boy was...
- I am crushed!
Sorry.
- Boy was crushed.
Yet somehow boy managed
to win her back.
Boy refused to say what
he did to win her back,
so we're assuming
it was pretty mushy.
They got married,
and less than nine
months later, came twins.
- Mama!
- Taking care of fraternal
twins is no easy task,
no matter your age.
So boy and girl had to leave
college for the time being,
and focus on raising
their family.
Boy got a job fixing cars,
and girl got the job
of eventually raising
three terrorizing boys.
Life went by, and boy and
girl seemed to drift apart.
Boy had a crazy
hair-brained idea
involving his
family that ended up
blowing up in his
face as expected.
And here we are.
- Where's Richard?
- I'm right here.
- Why weren't you in it?
- I'm guess I'm more of a
behind the scenes type guy.
- Don't you think
that's the problem?
- You didn't like it?
- No, I loved it.
My Dad, our boys,
our daughter in law,
our future daughter in law.
They all did fantastic.
But none of them
needed to win me over.
- But I wrote it.
- We wrote it.
Don't you know my dear
That you're
the one I love?
And don't you
know my love
That your fears
break my heart?
So hold me
Don't let me fall apart
Know me
Remember who I was
Don't you know my dear
That you're the one I love.
And don't you know my love
That your fears break my heart.
I wanna hold you
- Don't hurt me.
I won't let you fall apart.
Let me know you
- I'm trying.
Remember who we were
Don't leave me
- That's what he did, Dad.
- Mary, I know I
don't deserve this,
but I'm asking for
another chance.
- Where did that come from?
Isn't that yours?
- We decided that
it's probably best
to wait a little while longer.
We're not in a rush.
- Plus Dad gave me like
three times what I
paid for it, so...
- Had to be done.
- Did you say three?
- Yes, I will.
- And then they slobbered on
one another, and here we are.
So what now?
- I don't know.
I have to move out,
that's for sure.
And Lydia?
- What about her?
Have you thought about
trying to find her?
- There's gotta be more than
one girl out there, doc.
That's a very
good attitude to have, Jack.
Stay optimistic.
- That this day is
actually happening.
It's so great to
see Aunt Thelma.
- And then she says to me,
"Please, give me back my dog."
May the best man win!
- So you are following me?
- What are you doing here?
- Oh, just coming
to take pictures
of the man who saved my life.
I'm the wedding photographer.
- Of course you are.
- So, how have you been?
- Good.
You?
- Really?
Wow, thank you for
being so specific.
- I am, I am.
I'm working with my Dad, I'm
finally finishing up school.
What about you?
How's married life treating you?
Got any kids yet?
- Yep, four boys.
Your face is priceless.
No, I didn't end
up getting married.
- Interesting.
Why is that?
- Oh, not because of you or
anything, that's for sure.
No, I guess I didn't wanna
see the signs at first,
then I got home the next day
and my dog had eaten about
half of my wedding dress,
and had to have
his stomach pumped.
- I am so sorry.
- You know, girls
just like to know
they're gonna be taken care of.
That he's always gonna
come to the rescue.
- One sec.
Hello.
No, that's fine.
Yep.
Okay.
Love you too.
Bye.
- Your girlfriend?
- Fiance.
I'm just kidding,
it was my cousin.
- Very clever.
- Okay, here it is.
It's been well over a year,
and I still find you
intriguing.
- And attractive.
Don't forget attractive.
- Is it safe to say, based on
the kicked puppy expression
you just gave,
that you feel the same?
- Maybe.
- All right, never mind.
- Okay, wait, yes.
- Say you find me intriguing.
- I find you intriguing.
- And attractive.
Don't forget attractive.
- And mildly attractive.
- What do you say,
what do you say
we do this right?
A real date sometime.
- I'd like that.
- Who is this, Jack?
- This is my friend,
Lydia, Grandpa.
No, we really are just
friends right now,
but we are
fond of each other.
No, Grandpa, we're
fond of each...
Fondling, fondling.
So a date sometime.
- A date sometime.
- Anyone who knows me,
knows I haven't always been
the poster child for marriage.
I've lived most of my life not
bein' the greatest husband,
or father for that matter.
However, through
an extraordinary,
strange series of events,
about a year and a half ago,
a series of events
that truly made Alexa
a part of this family,
I learned something
life changing.
I believe there's a
running joke in this world
that says love is a pursuit
that is accomplished
on your wedding day.
Well, it's not.
Love is a constant pursuit.
The feelings of this
day, Joel And Alexa,
they will fade.
One morning you're
going wake up,
and you're not gonna feel
like loving that person,
but that's what you've
agreed to do here today.
You've agreed that every
morning you wake up,
that you'll make the
choice to love that person,
whether you want to or not.
And whether or not
they deserve it.
Because, if you don't Joel,
I'm gonna punch
you in the mouth.
Let's do this.
- What do you think?
Pretty good, right?
Yes, Jack.
She's even prettier
than you described.
- I know, right!
So much better in person.
- I'm Lydia.
- Yeah, she is.
So how's
everything going, Jack?
It's been a while.
- Good, it's been really good.
My Dad finally decided
to take the offer
to take over the camp.
Oh, that's great.
- Yeah, yeah, we've
all been working there
probably a year now, somewhere
in there, about a year.
Is work the right word?
- That's not how this works.
You keep your shoes on.
Is
there anything else?
- No.
Don't.
If you love me
you won't say anything.
- I'm sorry.
Yes, actually.
Last week we got engaged.
Oh, congratulations.
- Thank you, we're very excited.
Unfortunately, when we went
to go tell his parents,
we ran into a little
bit of a problem.
- Dad paint the house?
- You seriously couldn't
find any other shoes to wear?
- Don't try to change me.
Just love me.
- Miss Tucker, I
forgot to pay my bill.
- Breathe, babe.
- You just can't
unsee that, doc.
You just can't.