Tu Hai Mera Sunday (2016) - full transcript

Five friends struggle to find a place to play football in Mumbai.

Hey, look.

-Look.-Yes, right.

Just look at him.

Bite him.

This is the story of my life.

No, this is the story of every Indian man.
You are barked at all your life.

This happens at my office every day.

No, this dog is like
a present-day politician

who won't let the public live in peace.

Go to hell.

-Come on, let's go.
-Let's go.

Do you think he has a girlfriend?

More like four girlfriends and two wives.
What has he got to worry about?


Mr. Arjun, we were waiting
for your comment on the dog.

Forget the dog, who were you guys
comparing yourselves to?

-You are right, maybe we are dogs.
-Stop it.

Not Arjun though, he's a nice guy.

Very nice!

Hey, Arjun, you should go
to the church with my mom.

A nice guy certified
by Mr. Jayesh Garodia.


-We're useless
-Pass the ball.

Go ahead and take my ass now.

Tell you what, Jayesh.

You should hold a procession for Arjun
during the next Navaratri festival.

All right?

Well said.

-Hail Arjun, the great.

Hail Arjun, the great.

-Hail, Arjun...


Are you all right?

Are you fine?

He is all right, let's go.

-Sorry, sir.
-Let's go.

-Take the ball.
-He is fine, let's go.

Let's go.

Dude, I didn't see him at all.

What's this? Do you know?

-Are you all right?
-I am fine.

Arjun, I barely touched him.

He's okay, let's go.

I don't know.

Let's go, Arjun.

I don't know. He's saying...

Watch where you kick the ball.

-Come on. What the hell?
-Come on, Arjun.What's taking you so long?

-I want to play soccer,

-come on, let's go.
-Come on.

I was really worried there.
The way he fell when I bumped into him.

But he is a strange old man.

-There he goes again.

-Arjun, let's go.

-Come on.


Listen to the nice guy. Come.

Look what the nice guy is up to.

-Why are you bringing him along?

Hey, bring this along.

Who needs this hassle?

-What happened?
-But why?

It's okay.


Three, two, one. Go!

-Hey! Pass!
-Go ahead! Pass on.

-Abhi! Pass.
-Hey! Pass.

Thank you. Thank you, sir.

Goalie! Goalie! Strike a goal!
Goalie! Goalie! Kick!

-Arjun! Please talk to him!
-Stay calm, sir.

Where did you get him from?

Come on, let's go!

Jeez, move!

He's going right! It's no use! Damn!

-Come on, faster. Come on.
-Come on. Pass.

Come on. You, stand over there.

Come on.

-Hey! Goal! Goal!
-Who's this man?

Pass the soccer. Pass the soccer.
Dancing like this and... goal! Goal!

-Pass it. Pass it.
-I caught you!

I scored a goal like this!

-Pass it. Pass it.
-Play! Play! Play!

Run properly. What are you doing?

-Throw it back.
-Give the ball.

-Give us the ball, sir.

-Please, sir.

-Don't run.
-He's taking the ball with him.

-Hey! Hello! Run! Ball!
-Where is he going?



-Go and catch them.
-Bhoir! Come on!

Bhoir, where are you going?

The senior officer is already there so goand back him up. You should charge him

-under section 2445 and 516...

He needs to see what exactly can be done.

-Shit. Shit.
-No, but... hello?

Who's it? Charlie.Where is Charlie? Ask him to look into it.

Come on, just button up.

Please check if there's a caseof robbery in that area.

-Come, he wants to see you.
-Hey, but...

It's all your fault. Madam got hit.
She has filed a complaint.

She complained against you guys.
You play here often.

Hey, what's going on? Hold on.
What's going on?

-What's your name?
-I'll look into this. Come on.

Get in. Come on.

Get in.

Soccer? Play behind bars now.

Is this what educated people do?

Get inside.

Is this a place to play soccer?

Get in quick.

Mind your feet.

-I'll speak to them.

He was asking our names.

If we tell him our names,
we will get defamed.

Carry on then. No sweat.

Sir, what about ma'am?

That's right. You can look after her.
I'll look after these guys.


Wow, Dirty Harry.

Look at his style.

Stop laughing. He is watching us.

-Do you keep chilled beers in here?

Hey, wait!

Give me the evidence.

It's no big deal.
Things will cool down by tomorrow.

That's what I said.

You guys don't know that witch.

Which witch?

Kamana Sayani, the one who got hit.

I see.

She's the president
of our Juhu Citizen's Association.

She has been winning elections unopposed
for four years in a row.

She is definitely like Hitler.

If she's winning unopposed,
you stand against her.

Maybe you'll win.

Jayesh Garodia, President,
Juhu Beach Citizen's Association.

Good idea, Arjun.

-My vote is with you.
-Thank you.

Mine as well.

See, two votes.

All because of this old man.

I told you, don't bring him along.

-Arjun, you rascal.
-Bloody Arjun.

Why did you have to tag him along?

Poor thing.

Anyway, the day is ruined.
What do we do for the rest of the day?

Go home early. Give your wife
and kids a nice surprise.

Surprise? They'll annoy me!

Mr. Jayesh, get close to your wife...

and say something romantic in Gujarati.

What nonsense!

You are sorted.

Every day you take a new girl
for a spin on your motorcycle.

-Something's burning.
-Something's burning.

I think he's talking
in some South Indian language.

-Anna, just check what he is saying.
-Hey, sir.

Sir, I'm busy.

Don't you also blabber the same way?

I speak Tullu, this is not Tullu!

-We pissed him off.
-It's Tamil. He's speaking in Tamil.

Please translate
his words in Hindi for us.

-He keeps repeating some numbers.
-What numbers?

Bhoir, can I have a sip?

Please do.
I have a minor TB infection, that's all.

Seven, eight, nine, eight...

Probably a cell phone number.

-No, he's okay.
-Anna, get the tab.

-Just message me your address...

Take this away if you don't want to die.

Don't you dare take money from them.

Bawa, will you come along?

Have you lost it?

We take him home and for all you know,
we might get sued.

For making a crazy old man play soccer.


I left my keys at home.

I've got something lined up.

Don't even look at me. I'm working.

This is your work?

-How about you?
-Didn't I escort you guys here?

I'll go to the movies
and catch up on my sleep.

But you won't go home.

What a sad world.
Nobody wants to help a nice guy.

Arjun, I had warned you
against dragging him along.

What did he say? “Listen to the nice guy.”

This old man is going to turn you
into a dog. Understand?

Goodness! Where did you run off to?



Please come in.

I hope you are not hurt.
Is everything fine?

-Did he hurt himself?

-Where did you find him?
-Juhu Beach.

Juhu Beach?

Is he your husband?

Do I look that old?

Do I look that old?

I live on the second floor.
When Kavi came crying...

-Kavi, your dad is here.
-Wait, I'll just call you back.

Where did you go?

I've told you...

Didn't I tell you not to leave the house?

Dad, why do you do this?

Are you okay?


You brought him here?
I really don't know how to thank you.

Usually, I'm careful, it's just that
the stupid maid left the door open and...

It's okay. He knew the number, so...

Yeah, thankfully that's one thing
that he remembers.

Dad, what did you do?

I'll never talk to you I'm telling you.


I'm Arjun Anand.

I'm Kavi. Kavya Ranganathan.

Kavi, I shall leave.

Yes. Thank you, Ms. Aparna.

Don't be silly. Be careful now.

-Something is burning on the stove.




I don't know what is wrong with him today.

I'm a nice guy.

Nice guy!

What happened? You are home early.

So what happened today?
Earthquake or something?

Everything is okay? What happened?


"Earth, stars, planets, everything else."

Anyway, it's good that you came early.

Sit. I need to talk to you.

I'm not involved.

What is it?

You should sit first. Come here.

My teensy-weensy baby brother.

-I see.

Listen, if you're not involved,
don't get involved.

-Butt out.

You know the Poddars,
the business entrepreneurs?

One of the Poddar brother's daughter
is in Shipra's class.

she was telling me how her husband

can't find anybody to head
the retail venture and all that.

And I told her about you

and your qualifications.
And she was really impressed.

-Hey, should I leave this house?

What do you want to do in life?

What do you mean? I want to be happy.
What else?

Don't you feel like doing something?

Shu, I am doing something.

Like what? Soccer? And your consultancy?

You haven't paid that last dairy client.

Shu, I'm making money.

-I see.
-I'm happy.


I tried all those things and all I managed
to be was busy all the time.

Is this the kind of example
you want to set for Shipra?

Do as you please. Just be happy.

Shu, I want Shipra to be responsible,

but you're taking things
a bit too seriously.

She's pushed too hard anyway.

Even the fun things she does
are competitive.

-At least ask brother-in-law.

She's asking me to leave.

She's asking me to leave.

Look, don't drag me into this.

This is your home too.

And by the way,

Shipra, it's time for your skating class.

Let's skip today.

Parineeta and Shama are on level two.
You're still on level one.

Miss! Give the flour to be done later on.

Come on!


Boss, next time don't come early.

Now, I'm going to whip your ass.

Yes, what is a life if full of...

"What is a life of full..."




Are we out of fudge?

Besides, I've been transferred
to Saputara.

Sorry, Bhoir, because of us...

No, it's not your fault.

It was her picture in the mediathat really drove her wild.

So what's your plan now?

I'm single and free as a bird.

And to be honest,
Mumbai is going to the dogs.

Even a pickpocket
has connections in the Ministry.

Mr. Arjun Anand, can we
get on with the presentation?

-Yes. Okay, I'll call you later.
-All right.

Take care. Bye.

Okay, so we'll start with
the basic brand architecture.

And we'll move on to
the presentation on branding.

Papa, he's not giving me the big gun!


You boys keep quiet,
don't disturb your father.


Here, take blessings.

-It's mine.
-No. The bigger gun is mine.

-It's mine.
-No. Dad!

Praise Lord Krishna.


What's going on?

Is the Silichem invoicing done?

They're ready.

You have enough work, I hope.

If not, let me know.

I'll give you more work.

No, there's enough.

Then go do it.

Happy birthday.

Excuse me!

Sir, there is only abuse in this letter.
No threats.

Sir, there will be a problem...

No problem. I will get it done.
You just let me know.

Mom, what is all this?


What is all this?
You've been cooking since morning?

Last three nights,
you've been coming home late.

You've not had any dinner.
You should eat properly now.

So what? You're giving me
three nights' leftover?

Right! Keep quiet and start eating, okay?

Sit down.

Domi, why don't you tell me
where you usually go at night?

I'm not a baby, Mom.

-Give some more gravy.

No peas, I want only gravy.

-Yes, I'm giving you.

Sausage. That's it.

“Not a baby.”

But I'm still your mother.

I worry about you every night.

Do you even care?
You only know how to enjoy.

Don't be a drama queen, Mom.

In Bollywood movies
the sons love their moms.

My miserable luck!

One of my sons goes to Dubai
and the other one goes out at night.

God knows what sins I'm paying for.

Yes, Jayesh?


I'll call you later.


From the time you were little,
you two only fought.

-If your father was alive...
-Don't be a drama queen, Mom.

Drama queen? That's not who I am.

I want to leave everything
and go to Goa in peace.

Please go, am I stopping you?


-Get married and then I'll go.

Every time you ask me to get married.

Why do you want me to get married? Why?

My dear, Teresa's son
has three children already.

What can I do, Mom?

What can I do?

Every Sunday at the church, people ask me,

“Is something wrong with Domi?

Why isn't he getting married?"

What do I tell them?

Tell them to get lost.

The girls will tell you to get lost
when you want to get married.

What will you do then?

Get lost.

Then you marry me, okay?

No way!

You marry me!

What trash are you talking, Domi?

You marry me, right?



Next Sunday be at home
when your brother is there. Understand?



Go upstairs.

Wow, it's so dark. Where is this?

To your right.

-You live here?
-Just hold on.


Isn't it cool?

Come, let's make a bigger mess
and then we will go for a movie.

No, I have to go.

No way.

The hostel closes by 11 p.m.,
it's 10:30 p.m. already. I have to go.

Then stay over.
Leave early in the morning.


Everyone's seen me leave in these clothes.
I can't go back like this.

So what?

What would people think?

They wouldn't be wrong, would they be?

No, please.

I have a great idea!

What took you so long?

My uncle wouldn't leave.
You think this is easy?

Don't give me that crap.

Look, the day after is the return date.
By tomorrow...

-Come on.

Coming, baby. Coming.

Now go.

Please, the day after.

What is this?

Now you leave peacefully in the morning.
What will everyone think?

Arjun, I've been trying
to call everyone for so long.

No one is answering.

Look, we'll have to do something
about Sunday or else I'll...

-Can you taste this?
-Rishi took my remote.

-First class.
-Not too salty, right?

First class!

It's Thai curry.

Yes, it's first class.

Arjun, you tell me.

Should I look for a place?

Should I look for a place?

Can't we find a place to play, in Mumbai?


-Hey! This field is so nice.
-Come on, guys. Hurry up.


-There's a power cut.
-What the...

-What happened?
-The power tripped.

Saree. Nice!

Yes. It's just that he's not
comfortable with anyone else.

I know Sunday is off.
Just two hours? Is it not possible?

Whose wedding is it? Someone close?

Well, all right, then.

-Dad, stop it.

-I'm telling you I'll stop talking to you.

Quantum ball.

Look, I don't want you
to get the wrong idea.

I mean, Dad is not a big problem
or anything.

I have a nurse.

I have a nurse for six days a week.
Sundays, of course, I take care of him.

Actually, I wanted to thank you
for last Sunday.

It's just that I have this meeting
and I was trying to get out of...

Okay, hold on. Relax.

What you're saying is, this Sunday
something important has come up

and you want me
to take him to play soccer, right?

Don't speak, just move your head.
Yes or no?

Also, I don't know much about you.

Usually, it's the girl's dad who'd want
to know who she's going out with.

This is the complete opposite.

So young man, what are your intentions?

Didn't I say I'm a nice guy?

Yes, but who says that?
Like "I'm not a bad guy."

You ask me
whatever you want to know about me.

With every answer that impresses you,
put a coffee bean on my plate.

-Let's see how much I score.
-What rubbish!

Don't you like Nagpur?

I don't have any impression of it.

I stay at Pali Hill.

Oh, really? Alone?

Your score is still zero.

My own consultancy

The logo is very nice.

I should have carried an umbrella.

-Move now!
-Yes, sorry.



Where are you going, Domi?



What's got into you?

What do you mean?

How much was your uncle offering
to pay us?

Just peanuts.

I'm telling you, I won't let anyone
sell this house. Is that clear?

But this house belongs to me.
And no one was bothered to ask me.

Mom, please, keep your mouth shut.
I'm warning you.

Look at this freeloader.
What are you on about?

That's all we need, one more band member.

Me? A band member?

This is my house as well. I was born here.

Is that so?

That Dilnaaz from Kushrow Baug
just winked at you

and you were ready to gift
this house to her father.

-Am I right or wrong?
-Mind your language.

Hold on!

Who cares?No one wants to look at your ugly mug.

Her whole familyis as straight as a corkscrew.

Don't say a word about my family.

You can't boil an egg. And the teayou prepare tastes like cow's piss.

That's what someonewith your class deserves.

Hey, freeloader, keep quiet.

You called me a freeloader?

And what's your husband?Rockfeller's right hand?

You high school dropout,shut your pie hole.

And I'm warning you,mind your language or else you're toast.

What's with the cable?

No, it isn't working.

Where's Hari? Hello?


This accursed tongue you have.

If your brother shootswith an empty gun what can I do?

What can I do if you look like a monkey?

Blind fool.

You said, "We'll shift to Canada."I haven't even been to Khandala yet!

That's what someonewith your class deserves.

-You're talking about my class?-Yes.

You hairless mole. All those nightsyour parents wasted just for you.

What does that mean?

Just that your brain is rottingwith green yellow pus.

Your mother slept with every patientin an asylum.

to give birth to two samples like you.

-What? How dare you?-Hey.

I'll kill you. I swear.

Really? Touch me if you have the guts.

Look at her!! I'll chop you upinto 101 pieces. I'm telling you.

Try to touch meand I shall break your arms.

Leave her alone. She's baiting us.

You scoundrel.

What are you up to?

We can hear you stomping all the way down.

I was chasing a rat.

How big was this rat?

Why did you come here? Go.



Now the kids are up.

Why don't you get a rattrap?

Or give me your cell phone number.

-Tell me.

Tell me the number, I'll remember.

The place I lived in earlier,
had many problems.

I'll send you the pest control number.
Everything got sorted.

So, tell me.

Nine, eight, two, double one,

three, five, eight, two, seven.

Nine, eight, two, double one,
three, five, eight, two, seven.

-Nine, eight, two, double one...
-Do you live downstairs?


Just underneath your house.

There was loud stomping noise.

It's been a week since we took it on rent.


Nine, eight, two, double one,
three, five, eight, two, seven.

What's your name?

I'll send you a text message.

You should sleep now.

Let the rat to sleep too.

And let sleep too.

Good night.

Good night.

So, how do we play?

Punjab Society versus Juhu Beach?

It's five each?

No, we are six.

Who is he? Some uncle of yours?

Yes, maybe one of his relatives.

-Come on, now.
-Come, let me show you around.

We'll beat you ten-love.

Where's the place to play?

You douche, what's this man doing here?

This uncle just loves the game.

Rascal, just tell me what is going on.

Hey, look. A road roller.

What the...

This guy is fighting with
the housing society about the parking.

How's this?

We'll play here, all right?

Nice place, right?

Come on.

Punjab Society.

This side.

-Gokul, come on. Play with us.
-What are you doing?

-Play on, I'll come.


It's out of the post. It's outside.

-Give the ball to me.


What's this? Give me the ball.



What's all this?

What's this?

I say, stop this commotion.

-Stop it!
-Make way. l'll take care of this.

Why should we stop? We'll play right here.

It's a housing colony,
you guys are making a racket.

Hey, Shetty.

You have a problem with everyone.
Let them play.

That's right.

These kids play here every day.
No one seems to mind then.

Yes, but unlike you
they don't create a ruckus.

And you're playing with such a huge ball.

What if it hits a car?
Let's say, this car.


You can hit my car, no problem.

Right on.

If you must play

then play cricket, it's the national game.

Why play a foreigner's game?

Oh, I see. So they played cricket
in the Bagwad Gita?

Look, don't drag God into this.

God will be dragged.

-Punnu, go play. Get the stumps.
-Come on.

-Who are you to stop us?
-Place the stumps.

This is a democracy. We'll play as well.

Get the ball.

Simon, go back! Go back!

Get the ball!

Get side.

-Come on, get the ball
-Hey, give me the ball.

Come on. Let's play.

-Hey! You!
-Just pass the ball.

-Take the ball.
-Hey, the old man chickened out. Yes!

He is gone.

-Hey move!
-Hit the ball


you illicit child.

Where are you running, rascals? Come here.

Why don't you play now?
I'll teach you all a lesson. You dogs.

Where are you running? Come out.

Speak up.

You were acting smart, weren't you?

You were bullying everyone.

You'll bully me? Speak up!

Show me what...

-Oh god.
-Come on.

-What happened to him?


-He has to stop doing that.

That's what I said.

Did you see Gokul's pants?

Even if he washes them for ten days,
he has no chance with the window girl.

Forget all that.
Did the cops get involved?

Who knows?
We just left him in an ambulance.


If you bring that old man
next Sunday, count me out.

-All of us.

-All of us are out.
-Listen, I will call you back.


What are you doing?

-Home sweet home.


Dad, wait a minute.

Come on, stop, wait.

Firstly, change your clothes into...

-I'll just come.

Dad, wait.

I'm going to put the water heater on.
Just sit here, then you may take a bath.

-No water heater.

-Just sit. Okay, go have a bath.
-Cold water.

-No, you can't wear this, Dad.
-I can't wear it?

No, just wear what I am giving you, okay?

-Sorry about that.
-That's okay.

You'll have something? Tea or coffee?


Didn't have much luck
with coffee last time.

I'm just coming.


I don't know,
Dad and I have a special connection.

When I was ten years old,

I had a massive attack of pneumonia.

But Dad? No chance.

I spoke to Raj about you

and what is the big deal
about quitting your job?

It's no mystery.

No, I don't know, Swami!

Don't act coy, just come out with it.

Don't interrupt the swami, wretched girl.

And at the security check,

I see Kunal Pandey.

Kunal was a senior.

I mean he was a legend of sorts.






How are you?

Where are you off to?

I don't know why,he was speaking to me in Bengali.

I'm not saying
it would have happened to me.

But it made me think then, you know.

Now if I had coffee beans...

It's been ages
since I've felt so relaxed, you know.

All right, I better get going.

We'll be playing anyway.

It's one thing
that I really look forward to.

Yes, but it feels so weird,
to push your father on to someone else.

I'll sort it out.

First try me out then think of payment.

College was over.

Mom retired and...

If I mentioned anything about the band,
she used to freak out.

She used to get damn irritated.

-One song.
-If they complain, I'll blame you.

Yes, sure.

Working on a Sunday, sir?

If I have work, would I be here?

Salim, listen. All I want to say is

you have my coat and my pant.
I want it delivered.

Hey, you bums.

Get off.

No, I'll call you back.

Yes, I will call you.

Can't you get it?
I've been screaming for so long.

Don't you get what am I saying?

The next time I'll whack you.

-They messed up my motorcycle.
-What happened?

I've been yelling for so long,
they just won't listen.

They were messing with my motorcycle.


Sometimes they don't wear
their hearing aids, so they can't hear.

Otherwise they're good boys.

Sorry. I had no clue.

How would you know?

-If you two want to ride the motorcycle...
-Please, can you speak English?

They won't learn otherwise.

Motorcycle, beach...

How does one say sorry?

-That's sorry?

You were pulling my leg, right?


What did I say?

I am a fool.

Is that right?

You had a good laugh? Yes? And you too?

They know, I'm just kidding.

-Go on, play with the motorcycle.

-Where's their father?
-He's in Dubai.

I see.

With his second wife.

We had two deaf kids,

so it's my mistake.


It's okay. It's life.

-See you then. Good bye.

Are we doing all this
just to catch one rat?

I'm going to get it.

Maybe you should clean your room.

Never mind.

but wouldn't it be better
if you got the room cleaned?

See you.

You fool.

I told you I had a meeting
with German clients

You still had to shag inside the bathroom
for last two hours?

So get up early, you fool.

What do you mean get up early?
I went inside.

Your girlfriend had to go for shopping
so you locked yourself in the bathroom.

Domi, he has finished his bath.
Now you can go.

No, Mom. I had gone inside,
he pushed me aside and barged in.

Yes, you slow coach. Always a slow coach.

-That's your problem.
-Just keep quiet. Don't...

Don't mess with me right now.
I'll slap you.

-I will slap you.

And you think I won't do anything?

-My ukulele, put my ukulele down.
-Your ukulele?

Oh, this is your ukulele, right?

-Come on.
-Bring it on.

Why do you worry so much?

You two are adults now
yet you are bickering like children!



Yes, great swami.

So, what's the plan for today?

Bye, Dad.

So, Mr. Ranganathan,

you and me in this wonderful world.

Let's see.


Who are they? Where did they come from?

Move. Where did they come from?


Come on, man.

-Let's do something.
-Do what?

Can't we find one place to play,
in all of Mumbai?

Mumbai is completely packed.
Where do we play?

Mumbai has enough space for weddings,

political rallies,

or Gods and religious celebrations...

There's space for high-rise towers too.

There's no place to crap.

We can just shit anywhere.

Well, this is India.

That's how we get Oscars.

We'll get one for the sequel too.
Slumdog part two bum dogs.

Forget Mumbai.

Let's move to somewhere else.


The whole country is becoming
one big Mumbai.

Domi, what the hell are you doing?
How much are you hogging?

You know its outcome, don't you?

You know, my brother

sleeps right next to me.

I'll fart in his face, all night.

Dude, repeat my drink.

Can you play that song, "Chilman”?

No boss, it's closing time.

Dude, play the song.

-Play it. Come on.
-Just half a song, all right?

Come on, just play it. What are you doing?

-Jayesh, you sing.
-You have heard?

-It's great, sing Jayesh.
-You know it too.

-Just once.
-Some Hindi songs use weird words, right?

-What does “Chilmun” mean?

Chill man!

Oil and Natural Gas Corporation.


Take deep breaths.

Bastard Arjun.

Are you not feeling bad
that we're not playing?

Normally you'd be the first to cry.

-I am.
-What will we do every Sunday now?

Let's go to Goa.

At least we'll get a place to play.

It's set.

Let's hire a bus.

That owner of Santosh Travel,
who lives next to me?

-Yes I know.
-He looks up to me. He'll give a discount.

Two days to travel
and one day for playing. It's set.

-Good idea.
-That's very desperate.

-I agree.

Does anyone have a cigarette?

Arjun, why are you
being a dick about this?

Arjun's a nice guy!

Domi, your phone is ringing.

Bloody client.

It's your client, answer it.

Disgusting horny bugger.

All day he's been calling me.

He wants me to arrange girls for him.

Then give him Rashid's number.

Hey, Bawa, careful now.

I'm not a pimp, all right?

What are you good at besides womanizing?

Does that make you jealous?

If you're so desperate,
give your Peppy some...

Bastard, don't talk about her, okay?

-Chill, guys.
-Why shouldn't I?

-Why shouldn't I? Tell me.

-Your mother...
-Are you mad?

Let him finish. My mother is...

And what has your mother got? A bus depot?

Shut the hell up!

-Chill, Rashid. What's with you?
-Are you crazy?

He can't talk any shit.

Doesn't mean you can hit him.

Relax! Relax!

-Bawa, come....
-Keep your mouth shut.

Bawa, have your drink. Come on.

Don't look like that, have your drink.
Intense look.

-Bus depot.

How can a mother have a bus depot?

Mom has a bus depot, what are you...

Rashid, why so angry?

-Don't take it personally.
-He can't just talk any rubbish.

Let it go.

-Are we okay?

Okay, I'll tell you what...

It's not like I'm not serious, all right?

I was in love, in college.

Her father was a politician.

She was paranoid,
her father would kill her.

You remember, right?

I wrote a long letter to my dad.

Ten pages long, Jayesh.

I wrote, how much I loved her

and if both of us could get
a visa to Dubai,

I would turn my life around.

Her father called me to his office.

He made me sit

and held a gun right here.

And then he said,

he'd rather keep his daughter a spinster,
than see her married to a Muslim.

She left for America.

Married a white guy.

And he's okay with a white guy?

Back then I wanted to
do something in life.

Damn it!

But who gives a damn?

People only care
about what's on the outside.

Your brand of clothes,
your shoes, your hair...

All these girls I go out with...

What do you think will happen

if I ask any of the girls to marry me?

Will anyone agree? You tell me.

Tell me.

What will their parents say?

Praise Lord Krishna.

Yes, right.

Peppy is not some tramp, okay?

So Bawa, all my flings
are also decent, get it?

Actually, Shyamak's mother
has a bus depot.

No, I bet it's an airport.

Mehernosh, this thing with your boss,
just suck it up.

Better still...

Spit it out.

I just remembered that song.

Then sing it, I've been waiting to hear.

Which one? Yes, I want to hear.
Have not heard it.

It's a great song.

Jayesh, what happened?

-What happened?
-What happened?

Up there... Isn't there anyone up there?

-What's the matter?

Is there no one in heaven?

There is no God.

Why can't He bear to see us happy?

-Jayesh, let it go.
-Let it go.

Take it easy, Jayesh.



-I'll get them!

-Jayesh, what are you doing?
-Have you gone mad?

I'll get each and every one of them.

-Give me the number of that girl's father.
-It's an old story, forget it.

The number of your boss.

Your client's number.

He wants women, right?

I won't spare anyone. I won't.

-It's okay, he'll calm down.
-Calm down.

How do we take him home?

We can take him to my place.

But how do we take him there?

Hold his feet.


Look here, Jayesh, quiet. Be quiet.

Jayesh, stop it.

Jayesh, keep quiet.

Normally, he's so tired.
He didn't play today?

Yes, today he rested quite a bit actually.

Oh! Nothing to worry about, right?
I mean he's okay?

Yes nothing to worry about.

Today there were quite a few players
so he had to rest.

So you guys are playing next Sunday?

Of course.

Okay cool, I'll come.

Next week, we're not in town.

But you just said you're playing.

Yes we're playing,
but we're playing in Goa.

Domi has a house there.
So we go there every year to play once.

Oh so then I... I can't send dad.

Hang on one second.


What? I have to make a call.

Use your cell phone.

You use your cell phone.

My house, my phone.

Listen, my...

Listen, I'll call you back in a bit.


Good old oil massage.


Ask your uncle

who does he talk to on the phone at night.

Uncle, who do you talk to on the phone?



Does your uncle have a girlfriend?

Uncle, do you have a girlfriend?

No girlfriend.

Oh look.

Nobody is calling your uncle in the night.

-It's nobody.

-Nobody is calling him.

Just one second...

Yes, tell me.

Yes, I was just thinking...

I'll also come to Goa.

I mean with Dad, of course,
if that's okay.

Yes, sure.

But will you manage?

I mean, don't hassle yourself.

If you don't want us to come then...


I meant your work.

No, that I'll manage.

Cool then.

Okay, bye.



What rubbish!

Hey, joker.

What are you thinking man?

Hey, joker.

I was just high when I said it.

No, seriously, just listen to me,
just two days.

-Saturday, August 15th, okay?
-Hey, joker!

-So, we leave on... Where are you?

-At a birthday party.

-Bloody actor didn't show up.

Hey, joker.

Shut up!

-You were saying...
-Okay anyway, forget it.

Monday is also a holiday.

We leave Friday evening,
stay there Saturday and Sunday

and come back on Monday. What do you say?

No, I don't think I can.

Fine, let's go.

I'll convince my mom.

But what about the others?

Yes, tell me.

Sir, does anyone live here?

I live here. Tell me.

How many rats are there?

I've seen only one.

No, sir, there could be more.

Maybe you saw a different rat each time.

Whatever, man! Tell me its solution.

Sir, in such cases
we recommend a full service.

This includes fumigation,
spray, the complete works.

There won't be a thing
left alive in your home.

That's great. Go for it.

-Sure, sir?

The only thing is

you'll have to keep your house closed
for a few days. No one can live here.

Oh, no.

So, should I go ahead?


I'll spit it out.

Hey, are you crazy? Come on.

Have you gone mad? Don't spit.

You'll never work anywhere else again.

Goa? Goa!


Couldn't you give me a heads up?

We are booked for a holy pilgrimage.

Yes, everyone wants the blessings
of the Mother Goddess.

You guys have a ball.

While I look forward to all the...


-Hurry up! Come on, we have to go.


How are you, child?


How are you?

Let me have a look.

Still shining, still handsome.



Come here for a second.

-I'll be back.

Guys, just bear in mind,
we're playing every Sunday, okay?

The old man again?

Okay, Rashid, just listen.

Who's the girl with the old man?

That's his daughter.

There. Now the cat is out of the bag.

No cat, man.

Just that I take him out on Sundays
on the pretext of playing soccer.

Bastard Arjun, you are a traitor.

Will you keep quiet?

-Do you have hots for this girl?
-Are you crazy?

-Then screw it!
-What the hell, man?

Arjun, come clean.
Do you have the hots for her?

What is this language anyway?

-Be honest.
-Okay, I'm interested in her.


Come, let's go.

That's Vinta.

-That's Dennis, Domi's brother.

-She's Shipra, my niece.

-Domi, that's Mehernosh.

-And that's Rashid.

And this is Mr. Ranganathan!

I just wanted to thank you all
for bearing with dad every Sunday.

Anytime. Mr. Ranganathan.

Let's go.

Are you sure? Can I take something?

No, that's okay.

He is taking them.

Yay! Goa!

Do wait after the first toll in Pune.
I am starving.

So you were in college with Arjun?

Which college did you go to?

I was in Sophia.

Why? Why?

That was Rashid's hangout place.

-You had a girlfriend there?
-No, not girlfriend...


Don't ruin my reputation, man.

Rashid wasn't in our college.

Yes, I was in Bhavan's.

I used to come to Jai Hind

for one or two...


-Or 14, was it?
-What rubbish!

-But he's a terrific singer.

So once we heard him, we decided,
Rashid's not leaving our college.

Come on then, sing something for us.

It's no big deal.

-He is lying.
-Come on, Rashid brother. Sing for us.

Dude, she called me her brother.

-There goes my chance.

Respected, Mr. Rashid, please sing.

All right, we'll dance for you, okay?

Come on now, or I'll give you a whack.

Now that's a serious threat.

Domi, out with it!

-I want everyone to applaud. Okay?

And no one joins in until I say so.

And if you don't sing well,
you will get a whack!

-Come on, sit down.

Did you wash your guitar that it shrunk?

Which song?

Your favorite.

-"My Heart"?
-"My Heart."

Have you tuned it?

-Come on.
-Yes, whatever!

My heart, is a fool

It rushes, without a thought

My heart, is a fool

It rushes, without a thought

Can't tell if it's coming or goingIt lives in its own world

Oh, foolish heart, be still for once

My heart


I told them, the stock market crashed.

And took the first flight to Goa.

-Very good.
-Good job.

Hey Jayesh, how are you?

Where have you been lately?

What's up?

Yes, housie will start now in sometime.

We are waiting for Ram Naikand the crowd...

In the movies they show the hero
and heroine by the beach just like this.

It always makes me think
especially by the beach in Mumbai

that what is the big deal?

There's no space
to enjoy the little things.

No seclusion.

It's so open out here.

You can enjoy each and every moment.

When you get some space
everything feels great, right?

It's the same with people too.

You know what I do?

There's this building in my area.

Belvedere Heights,
it's the tallest building.

I go there
and perch high on the water tank.

From that height,

the world seems so far away,
it's an amazing feeling.

Do you just sneak into any building?


No, I mean they do
have security guards there. But...

Actually, I know this friend of mine.
Her father stays there.

So whenever I go,
I just rattle off his name.

U.R. Gandh.


U.R. Gandh.

No, you are stinky.

No, you are stinky.

I guess, movies are inspired
by real life, right?

You believe everything
you see in the movies?

Not everything.

Love, romance?



Why do men act so macho
when talking about romance?

but there's life after that.

Movies don't cover that.

You overthink everything.

Did you ever have a girlfriend?

It's not that.

There was one time when...

Oh, God!

Why do you take everything so seriously?

Give a straightforward answer.
Did you have a girlfriend?

"Yes, I had a good time
and then dumped her."

-No, I didn't.
-Just kidding.

Did you not want to say anything else?

What did you want me to say?

I thought you were in the mood to talk.

Sure, we can talk.

No, it's okay. Enough talking for today.

Where were you?


Yes, please.

Come on, man. Come, get up.

What are you doing? You carry on.
I don't want to.

Look, selfie.

You carry on.

-How are you feeling this morning?


It's strange that you are awake
after all the drinking you did last night.

I wish I wasn't.

Shipu, have one sip.

Otherwise, how will you go potty, baby?

-Have one sip.

-Just a little.

How did I get to my room?
I don't remember at all.

Just this morning,
I remembered I have a daughter.

-Just a little sip.

You got ready pretty early.


No, I better start packing.

Is there any tea?

In the kitchen.
You'll have to just heat it.

Come on, let's play.

Gautam Buddha.

What happened?

Who died?

Come, let's play one last game. Get up.

Let's go.

What's the point?

Don't be a wet blanket, come on.

How will it help?

How long can you play anyway?

-It won't change your life, right?
-Don't annoy me in the morning.

I said, leave me alone.

Guys, let's leave him behind.

Yes, leave me.

What else can you do?

Are you all right?

I hope you are not sick.

Lay off, man. Don't touch.


Go to hell!

Up yours bloody.

Hey, don't use bad words.

Mehernosh, relax, what happened?

Look, if you don't want to play
then don't.

Yes, right!
“If you don't want to play then don't.

If you can't do it, let it go."

Run away then.

Bloody, what... Escapists United we are.


I told you not to use bad words.

-Mehernosh, who's running away?
-You shouldn't speak.

-Has everyone finished packing?

I'm not running anywhere.

I just can't. I have no stamina.

You have the stamina to leave your family
and come to Juhu Beach every Sunday?

-What did he say? You mother...
-Let it go.

-What is wrong with you guys?
-Yes, I have lost it.

And you have it figured, right?

Stop chasing girls then.

-I've done a lot for my family.
-Do something useful.

Enough, enough.

Don't create ruckus. Just keep quiet.

-I needed some stress relief.

Are you afraid that your mom will hear us?

Don't start with me.

-Don't start. Yes.
-You'll complain to your mom?

-You'll go crying to mom?
-You are really pissing me off.

What? Move away!

Why do you drag my mama?
What is wrong with you?

And you don't try to convince me.

You are their leader.

I admit, I am. Now just try to relax.

Get lost!

Hey, Bawa! What are you doing?

You chickened out of a job.

You met a nice girl
and again you chickened out.

You are the biggest escapist.

You are getting too personal,
I'm warning you.

-Now what are you doing?
-Why are you starting now?

-You want to hit me?

Hit me! Come on!

Hit me!

Hit me, come on!


-Hey, Bawa.

-Stop it!

-Are you okay? Mehernosh?
-Bawa, control.

Are you okay?

All of you...

Bloody hell, there isn't any place for us.

We're pushed around.

And we're okay with that?

Why don't we fight back?


We give up so easily.

So what do we do?

We sit on the sidelines

and laugh at the world.

“Look at this idiot.

Look at that idiot."

So what does that make us?

We give up so easily.

Shouldn't we?

We are just spectators.

-You're so weird.

Come on, get up!

-Are you hurt?
-Did you knockdown a few?

Sorry, guys.

You have a scratch.

You hit yourself and apologize to us.

Arjun, what are you doing?

-There's dirt. Everyone, lend a hand.

-What are you doing?
-There's dirt.


-I'll manage.
-I'll just give a hand.


I want to say something.

But I haven't even said...

But when you are around,
they behave like good brothers.

Just the way
they should have been, always.

That's insignificant, believe me.

You are such a good soul, Vinta.

You have a positive influence on them.

I'm going to Goa.

Don't stop me now, Domi.

I am not stopping you.

I've come to take your bags.

Didn't I tell you?

I'm so tired of these two monsters.

How can you go to Goa?

I'm not married yet.

Come on, Domi.

Dennis, you don't have to look
for a new place to stay.

Don't say anything.

With her?

But it won't be the same, Mom.

Oh, Domi.

Not boorish.

-Who is it?
-It's me.


Oh, hello. Please come in.

I have these shoes on.

Doesn't matter, come in.

Keep your shoes on.

Sorry, everything's a mess.

No, that's okay.

I found some stuff from college,

so I thought these little devils
could make use of it.

Would you like to play?

-Badminton, table tennis...
-You don't have to do this.

and who wants the soccer?

You want to play?



I've left the main door open.

How about something cold to drink?

No, it's all right. Thank you.

You devils.


Uncle plays well, right?

You want to learn to play?

You want to fight... I mean, play?

Do you want to learn and play

with him?

They'll play.



I should get going.

What is it?

This has come for you.

-From who?
-How should I know?

Shanti, get the broom please.

There's a card here.


Gandh. Gandh.


when to propose a girl and when not to.

Late evening in Goa, by the beach.
Amazing. Perfect.

At two in the night

by the gate, in front of the watchman...

Not happening.

And that's not something
a girl wants to hear either.

Even if you ask me
to jump from here, I'll oblige.

Okay, great swami,
melodrama doesn't suit you.

I was scared.

I can fend for myself.
What is this macho rubbish?

“I'll jump for you, I'll die for you.”
Don't jump.

You think I had no clue
why you took Dad out every Sunday?

I had two boyfriends in college.
At the same time, okay?

Then I thought maybe I was piling on

or my dad thing put you off.


In fact, when I saw you
with your dad for the first time,

that's when I started liking you.

Say something nice about me.

About my looks, my body. I mean, come on.

Should I propose now?

No. You'll botch this up as well.


So, do I wear this?

No, you make me wear it,
but first answer me, will you?

Have some patience.

How are you?

I'm fine.

-I've checked the water tank. It's full.
-Oh, great.

What's wrong with you?

You're joking at this moment?

Are you crazy?

Grow up.

What is wrong with you?

First tell me, is there a lot of
coffee brewing at you place?

I won.

What? Yes, it's a bit noisy.

I won
the Juhu Citizen's Association elections.

Yes, I beat Kamana.

You were right.

Jayesh Garodia is the new president
of Juhu Citizen's Association.

What does this mean?


-Very good.
-Lay off.

-Come on.
-Come on.

Is it okay now?

Guys, come closer, please!