Tsatsiki, Mum and the Policeman (1999) - full transcript
Little Tsatsiki, son of a single mother in Sweden, has never met his father, a Greek fisherman. Tsatsiki befriends a nice but straight-laced motorcycle policeman renting one of their rooms and decices he is the right guy for his mother, an amateur rock singer in love with her band's bass player. To take a break from all this romantic hassle it's time for a holiday trip, and Tsatsiki and his mother end up in the very same Greek village where Tsatsiki was conceived a decade earlier.
CLOSED TO THE PUBLIC
TSATSIKI
MUM AND THE POLICEMAN
42 seconds... Record!
- Where do you live?
- What?
- I have to talk to your dad.
- He lives in Greece.
- Your mother, then?
- She's probably busy.
You holding tight?
- Aren't we almost there?
- Yes.
- What?
- We passed it a while ago.
It means 'thanks' in Greek.
Hi, mum.
- Hey! Has it been raining?
- Turn down the bass.
Hi, little guy.
His name is Gran.
- He gave me a lift home.
- I found him alone at the pool.
He was standing at the bottom.
Probably sneaked in.
I broke the record, mum.
- Are you crazy!
- It'd be best if you kept him in check.
Thanks, I don't need the police.
You could have drowned!
Well... Bye kiddo.
- Thanks!
- I made 42 seconds, anyway.
Now we can go to Greece.
ROOM FOR RENT
So, you got any other
surprises to offer?
Our teacher's having a baby,
so we're getting a new one tomorrow.
Really! Wild.
But, you're not eating anything.
I'm trying to!
Listen up...
I'm going to tickle you now.
Hello, I'm Sara Wall, n.
Maria Grynwall.
- There you are, yes.
- Per Hammar.
- Hello Per.
- Tsatsiki Johnson.
- Is your name Tsatsiki?
- It's Tobbe, but he's called Tsatsiki.
- I see... Your name's Tobias.
-
- What's your name, then?
- means 'yes' in Greek.
- Tsatsiki is a Greek food dish.
- His gather comes from Greece
That's Why he has such dark eyes.
I'm going to visit him soon.
Have you seen her legs?
What a lot of hair!
She must come from another planet.
Planet of the apes!
- What are you whispering about?
- He's whispering about Miss' legs.
- He thinks they're pretty.
- You think they're prettier!
Yes... maybe they aren't so bad.
- Hi, where are you going?
- To buy flippers.
For Greece!
You want it?
You can have it on one condition...
If you say your dad's a shit!
Say it! Say your dad's a shit!
Moussaka...
You also looking for a hiding?
- Here are your books, Wille.
- Thanks.
- Miss! Miss!
- Run to teacher, go on!
Where'd she go?
Tstatsiki, Tstatsiki!
It's her, Hair!
What are you doing here?
There's nothing here for you.
- We're looking for a gift.
- For a woman.
- For my mother.
- Anything particular?
- Have you got flippers?
- No, but we have bikinis.
- This is nice.
- Yes, that's on sale.
This is perfect.
It's just a pity I don't have
that much money.
- How much do you have?
- He has 150 and it costs 200 crowns.
We'll do this. You borrow 50 crowns
and I get it back at school tomorrow.
Shall we do that?
- So, you want it as a gift?
- Yes, please.
I'd been saving
for those flippers for ages!
You like the bikini,
don't be upset.
Now I'll never get them.
Check if you find
returnable bottles.
- Look!
- Yes, one crown!
Hey, that's my bin!
- Give me the bottle!
- We found it first.
I need it more.
Yes!
Get out of there.
Before I mash you up!
- Hi!
- Hello! Hi, kiddo.
- Do you want to help me carry?
- Okay.
One, two...
One, two... One, two...
- Where's it going?
- Into the house. I've rented the room.
Until I find my own place.
She's started an hotel.
You know, like a bed and breakfast.
- What's it? Efcha...
-
Wow, have you got a suit?
- Do you want to save these?
- Which?
No, I don't think I want to.
- Here. There's more here.
- Onions...
- Hi.
- Hi, mum, we're cleaning.
- Excuse me, but what are you up to?
- What?
- Are you throwing out our food?
- No, I'm just clearing out old stuff.
- Look for yourself.
- Look for yourself.
I see, you've
got home help.
- Who gave you permission?
- He doesn't need it.
He's with law and order.
- Didn't we agree to share facilities?
- Yes, share.
But don't think
you can do as you please!
I'm just cleaning up a little!
I mean...
No, out!
Out, I said!
Take your ugly jacket
and get lost!
- Thanks.
- It's not that bad. I'll sweep up!
- If you can lend me 50 crowns.
- What!
Good night, Papa.
But Tsatsiki is trying to sleep
so it would be great if you could
do what you doing more quietly.
Yes. Yes, of course,
I understand.
I could... Sorry.
- Good nigh.
- Yes, good night.
- Are you alright?
- Miss!
- Have you got the 50 crowns today?
- You'll get it tomorrow.
That's fine.
And you, you well know you can't
throw freebees in the yard.
Put it down and get going.
Until tomorrow, Greek.
Then we'll play together.
- Do you know anywhere to go dancing?
- No?
- Doesn't your mother go dancing?
- I don't think so.
Are they together?
Her and that bass player?
Nah, it's him that mostly is.
She really needs a new guy.
Someone who's more ordered.
Yes, that'd be something.
What a couple.
Juice would be nice with the buns,
but we don't have a jug.
- Oh yes, I was going to buy a new one.
- Or flowers.
Or a present.
Mum likes presents.
- You can buy one from me.
- What do you mean?
Only 200 crowns and some police
golds for dealing with someone bigger.
- How much bigger?
- Quite a lot.
- Okay... as long as you don't cheat me.
- I'll never cheat you.
How often do you clean your windows?
Once a day, once a week
once a month or less?
Okay. And then we get to...
...the toilets.
Okay, come on!
Like this... and this,
and you're down.
What the hell!
Mum!
He was just teaching me
some police holds. Wanted him to.
He shouldn't teach you
to fight anyway.
- You don't win through violence.
- No... I agree with you.
But for being against violence,
you're pretty hard,
I'm sorry, but I thought that...
You understand.
- I'm not making a success of this.
- Gran bought a present for you.
A present? What for?
Maybe because he's moved in.
For me? How sweet of you.
What could this be?
It's a... just a little something.
It's the right size
and everything.
- Thanks.
- Do you want a bun?
Yes, please.
- Does it hurt?
- No, it's no problem.
It only hurts when I chew.
- Thank you.
- Where'd you get that from?
I sold a bikini to a cop.
Stop that!
- What the hell are you saying?
- Stop that!
If you say,
'Your dad's a shit'
Your dad is a shit!
Yes!
Here.
Can you manage to get to the
principal? Smarten's already there.
- Maybe you should see the nurse.
- You want me to go home with you?
- How are you, does it hurt?
- I'm just a little dizzy.
- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.
Once a day, once a week,
once a month or less often?
How often do you
clean your toilets?
- Mum...
- Once a day, once a week...
Hey, what have you done there.
Hmm... Have you hurt yourself?
Did someone hit you? Hmm...
That doesn't look too good.
Check out our new poster instead.
Imaginary Friends.
Isn't that your style?
A space theme.
- Thanks for your time...
- I thought we could use...
Maybe you should go up.
G' ran says that a steak is the best
when you're hurt yourself.
- Do you like dancing?
- Yes.
- Why do you ask.
- It's nothing.
Tell me about dad.
- You've heard it 1000 times.
- But still...
I'd been checking him out
every day for a week.
I didn't dare go and say anything
to him because he was so handsome.
Then one day when I was on the
promenade he was right in front of me.
And he said 'hello' in Swedish because
he'd lived and worked in Sweden.
He asked if I wanted
to go out on his boat.
I said I wanted to. And so
we swam in the middle of the night.
And then we were together.
And then you came along.
Then I went home and
we never kept in touch.
He has your nose, by the way.
Or had, maybe I should say.
I want to go and see him.
- We're fine the way we are.
- But still...
- We can't afford any trips.
- If we get the money, though?
- We'll see.
- Promise me.
I promise to go to
the principal with you.
- Oh no.
- Oh yes!
Mum, do we have to?
You'll just get angry.
I'll be as calm and nice
and kind as anything. Trust me.
Hello, I'm Tina Johnson. Perhaps
you know my son, Tobias Johnson?
- Yes...
- The one with the mashed up nose.
Oh, yes...
The little incident yesterday.
- I'm sorry, I'm a little busy.
- So, you're busy?
Yes, I'm pretty sure the red light
was on outside the door.
- So we can agree in a time...
- Are you busy with this?
- Yes, that's right.
- Papers...
Yes. One wishes that
there were less of them.
- Now there are less! Can we talk?
- Mum!
If we just calm down a little.
What do you want?
You to see that there are children here.
Your damn duty is their safety!
- I think the school...
- Or do you want your nose pushed in?
Or to be teased during breaks?
Or to be attacked on the playground?
- Mum, come on, let's leave.
- Yes, we'll leave.
Because I don't want
my son to hear me swear.
But if you don't make sure that no one
here is threatened or hit very quickly
then I'll come back.
And then I'll be angry. Goodbye.
- You promised to be calm.
- I am calm. Where's this Marten?
- Come on, say it! Go on!
- What the hell are you doing?
- What's it ti you?
- You listen to me!
- Why do you hit smaller kids?
- You butt out you old bag!
- What if I said your dad was a shit?
- No one says anything about him!
No one! You bloody
old bag... You bloody...
What are you staring at?
Get out of here.
Nine planets travel around
our sun. First Mercury
then Venus, Earth,
Mars, Jupiter, Saturn...
- You have quite a mother.
- I told her not to come.
- She's cool, I think.
- Do you?
- And pretty.
- Maybe she is.
Saturn is surrounded by three rings
made up of small particles.
- Saturn is the second largest...
- You want to come to my birthday party?
- When is it?
- In two and a half weeks.
- Then I probably can.
- That's as far as I got.
Thank you very much, Sara.
Tsatsiki?
Would you like to
show is your planet?
Well, it's very nice.
But the sea theme is the next project.
I see.
- Do you know... do you know?
- No.
- Sara is also going to Maria's party.
- She's pretty.
Maria is as well.
- You going to date her?
- I don't know, Are you? With Aaria.
- Maybe later, in a while.
- I'll probably also wait.
- There'll be dancing at the party.
- Who said so?
- Sara, But I'm no good.
- Me neither.
Maybe you can practice.
- What are you going to wear?
- Something red maybe.
- Then you stand out.
- A suit is quite nice.
But I haven't got one.
And back again... D...
Great! You'll be a rock star soon.
Okay, let's go again.
Guess which national
colours these are?
- Finland.
- No, Greece.
- Why must Marten come here?
- Why not?
He needs something to do
and he's very talented.
For being an idiot.
He comes once a week to play.
That's alright...
It looks wonderful.
Delicious...
What do you do to show
someone you like them?
You can give them something...
flowers or something.
We drew hearts when I was small.
I drew a heart for a guy.
God, I was crazy
in love with him.
But it wasn't that he was
handsome or anything.
But there was something
with his voice.
over and in love.>
family trait.>
- It means, How are you in Greek.
- Well, I'm fine.
My motorcycle seems not okay
Ah! This is your helmet
- Kid's one...
- Wonderful!
- No one says Kids
- We still does
In our home town
Thank you for a ride
Who do you like better
Mom or me?
You came one hour early
You're too motivated
Be quiet and come in
I will come in very quietly
That's it...
It was a dream
Wash your face then you won't be sleepy
- Did you open it?
- See after washing your face
Hi!
You lazy, too?
I'm here to wash my face
I like studying
So did I, but teacher
doesn't listen to me any more
Our monkey, my teacher is so nice
I wish I had a mother like yours
- I will be a singer!
- I will be a diver
Good job
Watch well
I can dive for 42 seconds, look!
What Maria said to Hart?
She's just staring him
- What color is her eye?
- Blue
Same as Saharh, prettiest one
How about dance?
I will learn how to dance
and then teach you
I found it!
Well done!
One, two
Try this, holding like this.
- Wait... okay.
- Which foot starts? This one?
It's important you feel
the music in your body.
- Understand? So it's right...
- Can I try?
Can't we go out dancing sometime?
Some night.
- Just you and I.
- I need a suit as well.
- Yeah, sure.
- You should see how it is at home.
- It's totally different to the city.
- Can we buy it on Friday?
After school?
Hey... we were going to
practice the jive later.
You have to try and
imagine the music.
It's like, you have to
feel it in the body.
- That's all I know.
- What are we going to do now?
I'm going with
mum to buy a suit.
Hi, Tina couldn't come today.
Jump on and I'll drive you home.
Tsatsiki... hmm?
- You promised and then forgot it!
- Not at all.
- Stop playing.
- Where's my suit, then?
We can buy the suit another
day. Okay? Any day.
I can't now, the demo must be ready
tonight or we don't do the record.
It's really important,
you know that.
Can you stop playing, please!
Hey, I'm sorry.
Sorry, of course you should have
the suit. We'll go right away.
And the demo? We said we'd have
it ready tonight, didn't we?
I can take him.
Shall we go?
Come on, kiddo. Huh?
Gran... Thanks...
Okay... One, two, three, four...
No.
It's best we leave the bike.
We'll take the underground instead.
Come on.
Are you angry with me?
Are you angry because...
You wanted me to like
your mother. Well, now I do.
I didn't mean for you to
like her more than me.
- No, no I don't
- Yes, you do.
It's in a different way... It's...
...a little hard to explain.
But if we put it like this...
If one adult likes
another adult a lot...
Then... then...
Then maybe they want to...
not want to... they maybe...
...like each other more than friends.
- Are you coming?
Suit, shirt and tie.
Anything else you need?
- Flippers.
- Flippers?
Yes, for Greece, but I'll
pay for them myself.
Let's not go home afterwards.
Can't we do something else?
- Yes!
- Do you like Greed food?
I don't know.
When you've been to Greece
you'll have to show me how to dance.
- You're not angry anymore, huh?
- No.
When the right one turns up,
the heart shouts shrill.
- Then the head can say what it will.
- Again.
When the right one turns up,
the heart shouts shrill.
- Then th head can say what it will.
- Nice one!
Would you like to
be together with her?
No, I haven't got
any fire insurance.
You know who I like. It's a question
of having the nerve to tell her.
- Say it tonight.
- Yes... yes, maybe.
- Shall I say it for you?
- No, thanks!
Are you almost ready?
Take the jacket.
- What do you think mum will say?
- She'll say that you are...
...the most handsome guy she's
ever seen. After me, that is.
- No, I'm just kidding. Shall we go in?
- We have to sneak in.
- Can you sneak in?
- I am a policeman.
No, no...
- Yes...
- But I don't want to.
Aren't you going to bed?
No, I'm just going to
change the filter.
There are lots of parts, huh?
Yes, it's a question of putting it
together in the right order.
Everything in it's box.
I like my stuff in order.
Me too.
Well, then it's just the reverse
when you put it together again.
At the moment, nothing is in order.
I don't understand
what's happening.
I'm probably too
ordered for this house.
And I don't understand women
here in the city, either.
What's so special about that
bass player? Huh?
- Give me the number 12.
- Are you going to hit him with it?
No, no... I'm just going
to tighten this.
No, no... Always fixed spanners.
There... With the shifting spanner
there's a risk you wear down the nut.
There we go.
Not too tight.
- Maybe it's the voice.
- The voice?
Yes. Didn't she say
fell for voices?
What else could it be?
And finally the casing.
It was lucky I didn't
tell her, anyway.
Huh?
And turn the fuel back on.