Trust the Man (2005) - full transcript

New York. Rebecca (Moore), an actress, is crushed to discover that her marriage may be falling apart. Her husband Tom (Duchovny) leaving long-suffering Rebecca to pick up the pieces of their relationship. Rebecca's brother Tobey (Crudup), meanwhile, is in a long-term relationship with Elaine (Gyllenhaal) that has begun to turn sour. Both couples are spoiled and bratty.

Hey! How's the comedienne?

Oh, my God.

Oh! Oh, dizzy.
-You taste as good as ever.

You were great. You were
great tonight. -Oh, thank you.

You were.
You were really good.

Well, I was just working off that energy
that you were sending up to me.

Whew! You have
a really beautiful voice.

Well, I can't take credit
for that, you know?

It's all the big man.

You know, ever since
I became a minister ...

my vocal range
has just gotten insane.

You're a minister?
-Yes, yes.

But don't worry.
Ministers are free to fornicate.

Should we get a drink?

Lots of'em.

Go! Go!

Tobey! Tobey! Tobey! Tobey!

Go, baby.

OwI Watch it!


Dante. Lewis, buddy.

Good to see you.
-Look at you.

What is the deal with you two?

Oh, come on.
''You taste as good as ever''?

We had a thing in college.

I didn't tell you because
I didn't want to discourage you.

-He's sexy!

And very ... attentive.


He really is a freak, isn't he?

You don't have to marry the guy.

- So, what are we gonna do about this?
- This?

Oh, come on. Don't tell me
you haven't thought about it ...

every time we've seen each other
since college.

Uh-Oh, I-I-I've thought about it.


Sure, you're-you're-you're-
-I'm what?

-Very what?


Talk dirty to me.

You taste amazing.

Thank you.

Um-Um, could you-
could you-

could you stop doing whatever that it is
that you were just doing ...

and ... leave?


I would be wearing ...


And you would ...

be in a swimsuit?

Oh, God. Just relax.
-I'm sorry.

It's just, you know, you have a ... husband.


What kind of name is that anyway?
-Oh, ah-

Mm-mmm. No.

- Doesn't matter. Okay?
None of it matters, Tobey.
- Hmm? What? What's that mean?

I mean, in 50 years,
we're gonna be dead ...

and nobody's gonna remember us
or even know we existed.

So, come on.
-In 50 years, I'm only gonna be 86.

Mmm. Whatever.

My point is that
this is all so temporary ...

so let's just enjoy it.



- Elaine!
- Hey- Hey-

Elaine ... is asleep.

She's gone to bed.

Uh, wait-

You were just up there?

Yes. Yes, I was.

Nothing to write home about.

I think I got a song out of it.

Why would you do that?

-You know I invited Elaine and her new boyfriend.

I know, but he just looks so pathetic.
And, you know ...

I forgot.
-You did not forget, Tom.

Well, he's just blathering on
about how much he misses Elaine.

He can't function without her.
He's gotta see her.

You know, I wanted somebody here who
doesn't know anything about the theater ...

so I could have somebody to talk to.
-Right. Fine.

He's sitting far away
from Elaine. Next to Amis.

The guy in the yellow turtleneck?

Rebecca, he's your brother. Don't do that to him.

My man.
-I, uh ...

brought a bottle of wine.
-Thank you.

That's-That's what you're supposed to do
at a dinner party, right?

Very grown-up.
-Yep. Hey.

Hi. How are you?

Your door was wide open.

Hi. Hi, my name's Tom.
-Hi. You look so pretty.

Thank you.
-So pretty. Hi.

-Nice to meet you. Hi, Elaine.

-Hi, hi. Nice to see you ... again.

Oh, wow. Wow, that was a lot of kisses.

-Hey. Tobey.

Tobey. Tobey.
-Let me take your coat.

Hiya. -Yeah.
-Here you go.

-Take your coat too.

Come on. Take it off.
-All right.

No, the theater. No, no, no ...

the theater is completely different.

I mean, it's all star-driven,
you know?

Stars, stars, stars.
They can't walk. They can't talk.

I mean, it's just like the film industry
where you hail from, my dear.

Actually, Amis,
I hail from New Jersey.

No? New Jers-

Charming as ever.
Tom, you are a lucky man.

Spunk doesn't usually come
in such a beautiful package.

You know, I ...

I think it's this, uh-
these departures ...

from the literatures
which-which makes it worse ...

in this society's, uh-
It goes, uh ...

the-the wrongest.

-What do you mean, Goren?

No. No, yeah-

It-It's-Because it is this,
uh, connection ...

between the past and the futures.

Uh-Well, because it-it was there
before any of the other arts.

Except painting.
-And dance.

This is great wine.

Isn't it.

So, Goren, are you ...
technically a citizen?

There are more than one, um ...

places for which, uh,
to be citizens with than this one.

So, what, you're on like
a limited visa or something?

You all right?

I am. I'm-
-Are you okay?

Wow! This is good soup.

Tobey! We can't do this.
-What? What do-What do-What do you mean?

It's all right.
They're, you know-

We're not together anymore.

Do you get that?

But it-But it's not right
for me, Elaine.

Ah-It-I mean,
it's Tobey and Elaine.

That sounds right to me.
Those two names.

It's-They-They-They go together.

That's your plea?
That our names go together?

It seems right.

It's not right.

I'm just starting with someone new,
and I'm happy.


That-That-sprocket out there?

He's-He's-He's in a unitard, for Chrissakes!

Better. That is the Tobey
that I know.

Oh, oh, oh,
''I think 'The Canterbury Tales' ...

''really provides a basis
for all of the modern literatures.

And watch me dance.''
-You know, you're right, Tobey.

You've- You hit the nail
on the head! He is.

He's a pretentious sprocket.

He's a pretentious sprocket ...

with a huge cock!

No-Well, he-he-he does not look ...

like he has a huge cock.

Well, he does. And you ...

you don't know what
a relationship is.

Boy, that water pressure in there really sucks.

Mmm. It's been a long time, hasn't it?

Where'd she find this guy,
Zorro, anyway?

It's Goren.
And let's not talk about him.

I gotta be up early for Mommy & Me.


''That's not really fair to say, now is it?

We've known each other for a long time.
I think we deserve each other's honesty.''

''I have been in love with you
since the moment I saw you. ''

''You only think you have.''

''What's the difference?'' -Jesus, that's
a cocksucker of a speech. I get it right?

How come I didn't get
the cursing gene?

You know, I've never had
this much trouble remembering my lines.

It must be menopause.

Becca, you're 38. And would you please
not talk about your vagina? You're my sister.

It's bad enough that my best friend
has sex with you.

Walk back to the theater
with me, would ya?

Hey! What the fuck?


Evel Knievel, what the fuck?

Since when do you smoke?

I know he's seeing someone.

You know, I wasn't really sure,
but that look confirmed it.

Hey, that's not fair. You said you already
knew he was seeing someone.

So he is?
-No, I-I-I-

I mean, I-I-I know nothing.

I'm not the guy who tells
someone something like that.

I-I refuse to be
forced into being that guy.

This is not about you, you little fucking twit.
-Well, I-Hey, you hit me!

You know, Tom's right about you.
You're the, uh, what did he call you?

The play-by-play guy. That's what you call
him, right, the guy who sits in the booth ...

and talks about everything
that's goin' on without ever playing.

Never fucking participating.
Just letting life pass you by.

Never participating!
-Well, if I'm that guy ...

then he's the quarterback who wants to
screw everything with two legs.

D-To con-continue the-

the-the metaphor, that is.


Thanks for reading with me, Tobey.

I'm sorry. I'm so-

Oh, hey.

Cosmos ...

would you be a sweetheart
and let Mr. Ronson in?

He's already here, Mom.

So they're really
that sensitive, huh?

Women don't seem
to believe that, but, yes, they are.

Oh, so now I'm being lumped
with all women?

Pamela, we need to talk about somethin'.

I know what you're gonna say.

And you're right. But-
But I don't want to.

Look, I can't-
I can't do this anymore.

We have to stop this.

Hey, you wanna see what Cosmos taught me?


-Hey, is that my big boy?

Hi, sweetheart.
-Hey, we didn't expect you to be home.

Well, I-I missed my family,
so I came home early.

Are you wearing cologne?

David learned some interesting
things on his play date today.

Oh, really. Like what?

I learned how to silence someone!

How do you do that?
-You hit them in the balls.



That sounds like a good idea.

Okay, everybody, let's get ready
for dinner. Come on. Let's go.

Whoops. Okay.

Here you go, buddy.

Watch your hand.

Here you go. Oh, sorry.

There you go.


You okay?
-Um ...

I'm thinking about
dropping out of the play.

What? Why?

Things aren't working out the way I want them to.
-Aw, you'll do great.

Rebecca, you always have these moments
of doubts before an opening.

You know? I was-
-Not about so many things.

What are you doin', Tom?

I look at you, I feel like I don't even know
who you are anymore.

And maybe that's my fault.

It's not your fault. I, uh-

I just-I feel lost.

And, uh, I don't know
who I am right now.

You should leave, Tom,
till you figure it out.

We can't do it for you.

What a good boy.

Eatin' all that spaghetti.

Sorry, I'm late.

It's all the idiots.

Could you explain to me the psychology ...

behind the people who wait in a long line
at the store and don't take their money out ...

until their total is rung up,
as if it's a surprise?

''Oh, you want money for this?

''Well, I had no idea.
Wait, while I unzip my fanny pack ...

and dig through my man-purse
for my wallet.''

So, do you think
you might be avoiding the issue?

Wh-What issue is that?
-That you've been following me?

I think not.

Oh. Oh! That was you.

I thought-I thought it might have been,
but there was just, you know ...

so much of a coincidence.
-What were you hoping to find out, Tobey?

That I'm a Libra?
That I had a heart attack?

Oh, you had a heart attack?

I also had a withholding father
and an inappropriate mother.

And when I was 20, I had a nervous breakdown.

And, I think it's time
to terminate your therapy.

I'm sorry?

Well, this is not working out.

Well, Tobey, not for you
and not for me.



Have a little trust, Tobey.

The world is not against you.

I mean, no wonder
his advice was so bad.

He had a nervous breakdown.

A heart attack.
Messed up parents.

I mean, could he be
any more unhealthy?

He said something to me, though,
when I left, that really bugged me.

He said, ''The world is not against
you, Tobey. Have a little trust.''

Well, that kinda goes
against my whole philosophy.

''The world is not against me.'' Huh? I
mean, well, then how do you explain my life?

Jesus Christ!
Can you just shut up?

I mean, I-I don't have time
for this bullshit about your shrink.

Have you noticed that I've been kicked out
of my house and my life is falling apart?

Oh, yeah. Okay.

I gotta go.

Do you think I should get Botox?


Uh-huh. If you wanna
lose me as your friend.

You're so strict.

I saw that bitch at school.
She actually said ''hi'' to me.

What did you do?
-Oh, I showed her.

I said ''hi'' back and smiled.
And then I just walked away.

She must be reeling.

How are the kids doing?
-They're okay.

He comes by to see them every day.
I just can't bear to look at him.

He's in that overly sweet
hangdog stage ...

where I could set him on fire,
and he'd thank me for it.

It's not a bad idea.

How's ''Goren the Terrible''?

Terribly boring.

He does wanna have a baby though.

Hey, can I have a blintze ...
this early?

It's all I've been thinking
about since last night.

It's a-It's an acceptable
crossover food, right?

Why do you think
we're such wiseasses?

Probably a good way to avoid thinking
about the fact that we're all gonna die.

When are you gonna get over that?

Um ...


It's a pretty big deal.

You know what I think?
I think it's a good way ...

to avoid taking
responsibility for anything.

It's like, ''Hey, we're only joking, right?
We're all gonna die, right?''

You and me, we're missing
the biggest moments of our lives ...

'cause all we can talk about
is sports and blintzes.

It's just it's, uh ...

it's pretty depressing
not living with your kids.

Or the woman you love.

Or the woman that you love.

Just because you happen to be an immensely
flawed and selfish human being.

Hey, you're not so great yourself.

I think the blintze is fully acceptable
as a crossover food ...

and I would like one myself.

You're the man.
-No, you the man.

Up top.

I guess
the first thing I should say ...

is that my name is not Tobey.

It's Todd.

Hi, Todd.

No, it's not-It's, uh, it's Tom.

My name is Tom.

It really is, okay?
And, uh, secondly ...

I have-I have no relation
at all to deli meats.

I-I just-I just made it up to try to fit in. Um-

I-I don't know-
I don't know what I am ...

but, um, I'm pretty sure
that I have a problem.

Although, not as-as big
a problem as all of you seem to have.

Um, anybody else hot?

Uh, I, uh-

I also use humor and, uh,
complaints about the temperature ...

as a way of diverting attention ...

from the, uh,
from the very serious fact, uh ...

that I'm ruining my life.

And, uh ...

I just-I just thought it would do me
some good to tell my real story here today.

So, uh ...

I, uh, I come from a family
of poor peasants.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm just kiddin'. Um-

It-It's hims, again.

Mabel? George?
Come here, please.

Now Mr. Bertram
will be joining us for dinner tonight.

Rlease make the arrangements.

All right, Debbie.

Confound it,
where is that daughter of mine?

Oh, Daddy, I'm comin'.

Trust us.
-Trust us.

We're all about trust.
-Come on. -Turn around.

Okay. Here you go.
-Come on.

Come in.

Popular lady.

I think these are
from your husband. Again.

Break a leg.
-Thank you.

Sweetheart, I'm sorry to interrupt
your preshow cry.

All the best ones have 'em.

We're all
in this together, my dear.

All damned to the theater.

Condemned to live through our art.

For we do not know
how to live through our lives.

We are islands.

Francis ...

my director ...

I am a mother and a wife first
and foremost ...

and you should go fuck yourself.

Welcome to tonight's ...

premiere performance
of Edmund Middleton's Fifty Means.

Oh, these are good seats.

-Enjoy the show.

That should be me.

What'd you say?

You go on back to the house. I'll get the rest.

I never thought
I'd say this, but I'm happy to be home.

Nothing much has changed
around here, but then again, it never does.

I'm miserable.

And seein' you miserable
isn't helping any.

What are we gonna do?
-I don't know.

We gotta do somethin'.

There she is.
You go talk to her.

And you go find a pen
and a piece of paper.

Hey. I thought that was you.


Not now, okay?
-You don't return my calls.

I need a, uh, pen and a piece of paper.
It's an emergency.

Tobey, why do you
have to make this so hard?

Elaine, it's hard for me too.

Oh, my goodness!

Listens, I-I want you
to stop calling the houses ...

and, I-I want you
to stays away from her for all the times.

Why is everything plural
with this guy?

Oh, insult face to my faces?


This is Rebecca's night, okay?
-What? What? I know.

Oh, gosh. I'm sorry, I dropped the pen there.
-Oh, I'll get it.


- Those aren't your flowers, sir.
- Y-Y-You don't understand.

I-I need to get these
to Rebecca Pollack backstage. So-

I'm sorry, she doesn't accept
stolen flowers in intermissions.

Oh, no. C-C-Can you at least just-
Can you get her this note?

I'm her husband.
Please, just give her that.

We're talkin'here, ''Gorens. ''

I'm talkin' to her, if you don't mind.
-I do mind.

It's not gonna happen.
-I said I'd like to talk to her.

Release her.
-I'm not gonna release her.

Okay. Wait a minute!

Hey! That's not-
No running. No running.

Stop it!
-You ''shtop'' it!

Sir, there's no running in the theater.

Oh, my God.

Sir, stay right there.
There's no running in the theater.

There's no running in the theater.

We got a runner. We got a runnerI Okay.

Oh! Pardon me.

West aisle.

Come on!

Hey! Watch it. You're a jerk.
-Oh, God!

Right there, sweetheart.

Why are you sweating?

I saw Goren.
I pushed him into a plant.

I stole some flowers.

Oh, that sounds great. Good job.
-Yeah, you too.

Mrs. Pollack, final scene is up.

Thank you.

Who knows if she'll ever
come out of that room.

But I wouldn't blame her
if she didn't.

Hell, comin'back here
after so long, for what?

For us?
For this place?

Somehow, It doesn't make
a whole lotta sense to me.

The night air. It feels good.
-This is the last line of the play.

You know it does, Laura.
-So what?

I gotta do something.
Excuse me. Sorry.

I never thought I'd be able to say that again.

Stop it!
-Let me just get through here. Rardon me.


Give me back my hair!
Give me my hair!

Stop him!

Ushers, full alert!
East aisle. Stage approach.




Get off!

It's okay.

This is my husband.

This loser?

This loser.



Did you like the play?

Come on, let's go.
-Wait, wait!

You're the one for me!

Is this part of the play?

Yes, yes. Yes.
It is part of the play.

Uh, uh, this is the part ...

of the play
where we come together ...

and never leave each other.

And some-
somehow I feel like it-

it was written a long time ago,
and I just-

I just didn't trust the script,
'cause I don't wanna die.


Why do I always
have to be equated with death?

I agree.

Th-That didn't come out right. I-

I don't want to be a cold,
sarcastic, blocked-off man anymore.

I'm not gonna be.

And, it's not gonna be easy ...

but I wanna struggle ...

with you.

I love you.

And ...

all I can do is say that
and let you do with it what you will.

And if you-
if you won't be with me ...

I can accept that.

'Cause l-I want you to be happy.

Tobey. Tobey.

I have tried ...

very hard to stop.

But somehow, I still love you.

Oh, my God. Thank God!

'Cause all that stuff I was saying about
being able to let you go, that was just crap.

I'd have to hunt you down. Who wants to
spend all their life doin' that ...

when there's some many other
things to do before we d-

Sure, I'll be right back.

And how are you doing here?

Oh, God.
Do I look fat here?

Which one are you?

You look great.
-Excuse me.

I don't mean to bother you ...

but I recognized you from your book.

My son and I have spent so many great days
in New York together because of you.

Would you sign it for me, please?


You must be a great daddy.

Thank you.
We're very proud of him.


Oh, yes. We are very proud of him.


Here's how it's gonna go.

I'm gonna get up
and go into the bathroom on the left.

Wait one minute ...

and then you come in.

One, two, three ...

Seventeen, 18...

nineteen-Daddy will be right back.

Twenty-four, 25, 26...


Elaine has found in Tobey ...

a man she can trust to love her ...

to be her rock-solid baseline.

Oh. Here we go. -In Elaine, Tobey
has found his life's melody ...

his grace note.
-Come on now. Thank you. Hey.

Do you, Tobias, take this woman to be
your lawfully wedded wife ...

to have and to hold, until death do you part?
-Oh ...

could you not mention death?

Uh, uh, ''as long
as we both shall live.''

I do.
-I do.

-Whoo! Say ''booyah.''


Put me down!

Hey, Tobey ...

I'm proud of you.

Heh- Hey!

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

Hey, hey! Hey!
-Baby, baby, go, go! Get him!

I just got married.
Come on, that's legal.

I was behind the-
-That's our car!

Every time!

Every time!

Every time!

All right all you plant lovers ...

you people lovers,
you life lovers ...

this one's called "Juniper. ''

And it goes like this.